CHAPTER THIRTEEN: The Seventh Tuesday, We Talk About the Fear of Aging

"So…" I uttered, trying to break the silence that had been going on for quite some time. I had invited House out for a cup of coffee at my favorite café, Village Coffeehouse, hoping that a change of scenery would give House a new sense of hope or happiness. I had thought that maybe he had just been cooped up too long in that house of his, and that seeing the world would reawaken his spirit. I was wrong.

If anything, House seemed to be in a worse mood than he usually was. He complained about his aches and pains the whole way there, and would make a demeaning remark every five seconds. It irritated the heck out of me, but it also made me happy, because at least he was feeling something and expressing his emotions. I was so afraid that he never would again.

So, we arrived at the coffeehouse and sat outside. We didn't really have anything to talk about, so we sat in silence. How I hated that silence. "So…" I said. "What have you been thinking about lately?"
House sighed. "Oh, nothing really, except the fact that I'm going to die in about two months."

My heart froze. "Two months? That's all you have?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"Yeah. That's it," House said quietly.

The waiter came and brought us our coffee. "House…how do you feel about it? Not about your death. About your life."

"How do I feel about my life? I don't know. I just wish it wasn't over yet."

I lowered my eyes. "Do you think you accomplished everything you wanted to?"

"No. I wanted to be the King of England, drummer for the Rolling Stones…I wanted to trade in one wife for a younger, prettier one. But some things you just can't get around to," House replied. "What about you, Chase? Are you afraid of aging and then realizing your life was a complete waste of time?"

"No, I'd never think that. I've saved lives. My life wasn't a waste, and neither was yours," I answered.

House said, "Yeah, but for you personally. Do you fear getting old and feeling somehow unsatisfied with yourself?"

"Yes, I guess I do fear aging a little. You never know how you're going to feel about your life when you're on your deathbed. You might look back and realize one little thing you wish you'd done,"

"But what does it really matter anyway? Dying without regret or guilt? What does it matter? In a few seconds, you're not going to feel those things anymore anyway. So why live life in hope that on your deathbed you will die happy? It's probably impossible to die happy anyway," House remarked.
At that moment, before I could respond, it started raining outside. House got up and began to hurry inside, but I pulled him back.

"What are you doing, Chase?" he asked irritably.

"Come on, let's go run in the rain with our shoes off!" I chirped.

House's eyes widened. "I've got a better idea. Let's go drive to Arkham Asylum and get you properly committed along with the Joker, Harley Quinn, Two-Face, and all the other loonies. And then we can come up with a cute costumed killer name for you! Like…Dr. Wombat. Ooh, sounds scary, doesn't it?"

"House, I'm serious. Let's go have some fun in the rain," I persisted, pulling House along with me.

"Why?"
"Because it might be our last chance to do so," I finally said.

House said, "It'll probably rain in a few weeks, we can go run about then. But didn't we just go over this, Chase? I don't care if I die with regrets."

"But I do," I said.

House looked confused. "This won't be your last chance to be in the rain, Chase."

"What if it is?" I asked solemnly.

"I don't see how it could be. You have many more years ahead of you," House said, still perplexed.

I was silent for a moment before saying, "Please, House. Just come with me and have some fun."

"Okay, Chase," House finally gave in.