Chapter 42.

Mike tried desperately to go back to sleep. He didn't feel like crap when he was sleeping. He almost wished that he could be sedated, because it was him feeling like crap that kept him from falling asleep. It was just a bad circle.

It felt like if he just moved his head a tiny bit he would throw up, it was that bad. He was so uncomfortable as well, his body felt sore and too hot. He was sweating, but he didn't want to get changed because that involved way too much moving around. His chest felt itchy as well. He wanted to scratch, but he had some sort of wires there, that he didn't dare to touch. What if he accidentally pulled something out, that made stuff worse? He did not want that, although it probably wasn't possible, but you couldn't be sure.

Yesterday hadn't been any better. He had spent the day throwing up. Donna had been there as well as Harvey of course. Harvey was there now too. He didn't know where Donna was. He was pretty sure that she had been there earlier.

"Harvey?" He asked and turned his head slowly and carefully to watch as the older man put down the magazine he had been reading.

"Yeah? What? You need to puke?"

"Not at the moment."

"What's up then?"

"What day is it?" He asked.

"Eh…"Harvey let out a sigh and thought for a moment. "I'm pretty sure it's Wednesday." He said.

"Oh."

"Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering how long I have been here."

"Too long if you ask me." Harvey said and looked back down on his magazine.

"What are you reading?"

Harvey glanced at him and then turned the paper around to look. "National Geographic, apparently. I raided the waiting room. This was the best I could find."

"Why aren't you working?"

Harvey shrugged his shoulders. At first Mike thought that he wasn't going to answer. "I have other things on my mind than work." He said then.

Mike nodded, which turned out to be a big mistake. He groaned, screwing his eyes shut. He felt how Harvey grabbed his shoulder and held on to him.

"Just breathe through it. It'll pass." He said quietly and Mike tried to do what he said.

"Anything I can do?" Harvey asked. "You want me to lower your bed? It might help some."

"Yeah."

He groaned again at the movement of the bed, but it actually felt a bit better to lie more flat. When he got himself together a bit more after a few minutes he looked over at Harvey again. He was reading again.

"Read out loud." He said.

Harvey glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. "You want me to read to you?"

"Yes?"

Harvey rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to read to you." He turned his attention back toward the magazine. A feeling of disappointment rushed through Mike immediately. He swallowed hard. He tried to will the lump in his throat away. Tried to focus on something else either than the feeling of nausea, the itching in his chest, the headache, the weird aching in his hand.

"As we finally got the door open we couldn't believe our eyes, dr. Julia Abrahamsson explained as we made our way closer to the opening to the cave. This was a place that had laid untouched by humans for at least five hundred years…"

Mike blinked his eyes opened in confusion at Harvey's words. However Harvey didn't pay him any attention. He just kept reading. He didn't offer any explanation about what it was he was reading about since he clearly had started in a middle of an article, but Mike didn't mind. He welcomed the distraction as he closed his eyes again and listened to Harvey's voice.

Harvey had read through almost half the magazine when the door opened and Donna stopped just inside the door. Mike felt a little bit better by now, and he smiled a bit towards her.

"Ohh…" She sighed. "You are reading to him. That's so sweet Harvey."

Harvey waved the magazine towards Mike. "He talked me into it!"

Donna looked like they just made her day and sat down on Mike's other side. She took his hand in hers and started to stroke it. It felt nice.

"Don't let me interrupt."

Harvey glared at them. "I'm not reading to the both of you." He made to put it down.

"Oh come on, you weren't finished." Mike complained.

Harvey shook his head in faked annoyance. "I'm just finishing this because I want to know if they make it to the top or not."

Mike and Donna smiled at each other as he continued. Mike found that he didn't feel as bad anymore. Actually he felt pretty good.

When Mike woke up again Harvey and Donna were seated at the small table in the corner of his room eating. He wanted to turn on his side, since his back was hurting. However he couldn't and immediately felt frustrated. His body wouldn't cooperate. He swore.

"You good?" Harvey called to him, not getting up. Donna did though. "What can I do?" She asked.

"Side." He grunted. He got frustrated when she didn't understand what he meant. She thought his side was hurting and asked if she should get his doctor.

"No, dammit. I want to turn on my side."

"Say that then." Harvey said.

He knew that it hadn't been on purpose at all, when Donna put pressure on his incision site. She had just been trying the brace him and stop him from falling over on his stomach. But as her hand connected to his wound he couldn't help but yelp in pain and push her hand away.

"Oh, what the hell!" He exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

"Oh god Mike, I'm so sorry." She started to apologize and touched his arm, he shrugged her off. "Don't touch me."

"I'm sorry." She whispered. He didn't care. It still hurt. It was pulsating and the nausea started to make itself known once more. He swore again.

He heard how Donna mumbled that she was going to be right back, and the door closing. Harvey called after her.

"What happened?" He asked a moment later as he came up to Mike's bed.

"She hurt me."

"She was helping you. You upset her. Was that really necessary Mike?"

"Screw you Harvey, it wasn't on purpose."

"Yeah, well you are going to have to apologize to her." Harvey took a few steps towards the door but stopped. "I have to go after her." He said, but didn't move.

"No, you don't. She will come back later."

"You do get that you hurt her feelings now right?"

"You are talking about hurting someone's feelings?" Mike muttered. "She hurt me first."

"Not on purpose." Harvey said. "I'll be right back." he said and walked towards the door.

"No, wait." Mike made to sit up surprisingly managing, but Harvey was already out. Damn! This sucked, he sat there for a moment before he started to feel really bad. He didn't feel panicked about the fact that he was alone this time. It was just that he couldn't reach that damn basin that he used to throw up in! He took a few deep breaths ignoring the fresh pain in his chest.

"Harvey!" He called out. Oh no, he was going to be sick. He laid back down and breathed heavily through his mouth trying to will it away. It wasn't going to work. Shit. No, no, no. He fumbled after the call button. Where the hell was it? He couldn't find it. No, no, he didn't want to throw up in bed. He felt tears appear as he in vain tried to reach the basin on the table next to him. If he only could reach it.

He didn't.

He threw up as much to the side as he could, but it still got on him since he was laying down. It got on his pillow. He had it in his nose. The awful smell filled his nostils. Damn it! He groaned as he tried to move away. Where was the call button?

"Hello? I…I need help in here." He called. Nothing happened. The door was closed and no one would be able to hear him unless they passed right outside his door. He let out a sob as he was forced to stay like that. It didn't just suck that he was laying with his face in his own vomit, it felt so humiliating too. Someone would walk in and see him like this. He swore again. He wanted Harvey and Donna to come back. Why wouldn't the nurses come? They walked in all the time normally, but not now when he actually wanted them too.

He just felt so pathetic at moment, everything just came rushing over him again. All the bad thoughts and feelings that actually had stayed away for a few days. But this was just one of those moments when he just felt totally down. In once it just got too much. He was crying again, hating himself for doing so, but unable to stop it. And the operation hadn't worked and he didn't know what would happen now. He was probably dying. Maybe he never would leave the hospital. What if he would die like this? In pain, alone and suffocating on his own sick. Not that he thought that he was dying now, but there was a possibility. He didn't want to die. He let out a moan and called again for the nurses. Then for Harvey. He didn't care if he saw him like this now.

What if Harvey wouldn't come back? What if Donna was angry at him now? He had yelled at her. Why did he do that? He always messed up. What if she didn't want to see him anymore. Maybe she wouldn't want to come back now. He wiped his nose and mouth on the blanket, it didn't get much better.

Why would no one come?

"Help me!" He called. He didn't want to be like this anymore. He still felt sick. What if he threw up again?

No one could hear him. He was at a damn hospital, at the cancer ward with fucking heart cancer, and no one bothered to check up on him. He needed someone here now! His phone!

It was also on the table. He reached for it, but it was too far away. He would need to lean closer. If he kind of rolled over on his stomach he might be able to reach it. However that would mean that he would have to have his face over the vomit, and the thought made him gulp. He managed to get the blanket up on the pillow at least, and then rolled over. He let out another sob as he put pressure on his chest, his own arm pressing into it. It really hurt. But he managed to reach it. He rolled back on his side moaning and with shaking hands he dialed Harvey's number.

"Mike, hi. Look, it's only been five minutes and I…"

"Come back." Was all Mike got out and he heard Harvey swear and then footsteps. Harvey wasn't speaking to him when he said "Something is wrong, come on!" then he added directed to Mike this time "It's okay, it's okay Mike. I'm on my way. One minute."

Mike just tried not to sob on the phone, but didn't really think he was that successful. Harvey had said that only had been gone for five minutes. That was ridiculous. It felt more like thirty-five.

Harvey and Donna came rushing into the room the next moment and Mike let go of the phone.

"Oh my god." Donna breathed and almost ran up to him, the same did Harvey. "Shit, kid." He was saying as Harvey found the call button on the first try.

"I…I got sick." Mike breathed out. "I got sick. I couldn't reach."

"Shhh, shhh. It's okay. It's okay, it's okay." Donna shushed him as Harvey went to the door to get someone.

"I'm sorry Donna." Mike whispered. "Don't stop coming." He wished he could just pass out. He was humiliating himself more than ever. She looked so sad but also confused when she answered him.

"I'm sorry too Mike, I'm so so sorry. Of course I'll come." He had forgotten that he just had been thinking that she wouldn't want to come anymore, she had no idea what he was talking about. It made him feel even more stupid. He was shaking. Donna was stroking his face, apologizing and telling him he was going to be fine. He needed it to stop. He closed his eyes as a doctor and two nurses and Harvey flooded the room. He refused to open them, but someone did it for him, as they were talking to him.

They cleaned him up, changed his sheets, blanket and pillow. They let him keep his t-shirt after they had checked his wound and just removed the hoodie he had been wearing. He felt could when they wrapped him in a new blanket. He wanted to go home. He didn't want these people he didn't know change his clothes and wipe his face clean. He wanted to do that himself. He wanted to be able to do that. That wasn't the case now. He was just laying there letting them take care of him. He felt so down. He constantly had tears in his eyes. He wouldn't look at Harvey or Donna. It felt like it just would get worse if he did.

He wanted to be left alone, as the same time as he didn't. He wished for his bed in Harvey's place. He wanted to go there.

Things calmed down around him. Only Harvey and Donna was there. Donna sat on a chair close to his bed, she stroke his head with one hand and his arm with the other. He just looked up at the ceiling. Harvey was on his other side. After a minute Harvey removed Mike's hand from its grasp on the blanket, and he took it in his own. Mike didn't know what to say. He didn't know if they were angry at him. If they thought that he was pathetic who was crying like a damn child. He wasn't even in that much pain anymore, almost nothing.

"Can you breathe alright?" Harvey asked and he nodded. His nose was kind of stuffed though, but he didn't tell Harvey that.

"I'm sorry Mike. It's all my fault." Donna said quietly. He dared to look over at her and saw that she had tears in her eyes too. He shook his head.

"No…no, it's mine. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I'm sorry."

"Just stop Mike." Harvey said. "It's not your fault."

"No, it's not." Donna added. "We shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have left."

"Okay."

"I just…" Donna paused. "It's hard Mike." She said then. "To see you like this, to see you suffering. That's hard. And I got upset for hurting you more."

"I shouldn't have yelled at you. It wasn't on purpose."

"No, of course not. I was just trying…"

"To help me. I know." Mike said. "Just forget it. It doesn't matter. You're here now, so…" He had to stop, because he was close to breaking down again. She shushed him again.

"I don't feel good." Mike said almost whispering. But they heard him. Harvey gave out a small laugh and pressed his hand in his.

"That's the understatement of the year." He said. And for a second Mike smiled too.

"Maybe." He said. "Is it okay though?" he needed to know.

"What is?" Donna asked.

"That I…" He didn't know how to continue. "I feel bad."

"That's okay." Harvey said. "We'll be here. You'll feel better soon."

"Yes, Harvey can read to us again while we wait." Donna said.

"What? No, he can't." Harvey said.

"Yes he can. Right Mike?"

"Right." He met Harvey's eyes. They looked in each other's eyes for a long time until Harvey nodded and blinked rapidly.

"I guess he can." He whispered, squeezed Mike's hand before he left to get the magazine. He started from the beginning this time. Mike closed his eyes and as Harvey read, his mind got lighter and lighter as he relaxed and let the words flow over him.

– SUITS –

Harvey was getting hoarse. This was the second time in less than four hours he read this article. Not that he cared. He couldn't care less. He was still a bit shaken up. The first few minutes he read he had been struggling with keeping his voice even. He could see that Donna knew that. Mike didn't seem aware of much at all. He seemed to be much more relaxed now. Thank god.

When he had looked into Mike's pale face and saw pain, sadness and exhaustion in his eyes, he had almost started to cry himself. However he got the stupid magazine and just started to read again.

He hadn't really been aware of what had been going on between Donna and Mike, just heard Mike complaining and Donna getting upset. He had been torn between staying with Mike and going after Donna. Now he felt like he had made the wrong decision. It was like he still didn't get just how sick Mike really was. In just less than ten minutes a calm day had turned into disaster.

He had gone after Donna and found her close to tears by a window. She told him she had hurt Mike and she was just so worried about him. Now she thought she made it all worse, of course that probably wouldn't be over. She would blame herself now, for being the one that caused Mike to be left alone.

As soon as Harvey answered his phone and heard Mike's voice he knew that it was bad. It turned out that it was so much worse than he had expected, just in a different way. This was just so sad. Harvey didn't think he yet had felt that bad for Mike before this moment. The kid looked terrible when Harvey pushed the door opened and rushed in. He had thrown up in his bed, it was disgusting and everywhere. Harvey cursed himself for leaving the kid alone when he wasn't even strong enough to turn around in bed on his own. Mike had needed him and he hadn't been there. Again. It had happened before. Harvey felt really shitty about that. He didn't want that to happen, but it still did.

He did worry a lot about Mike. Especially now these last few days that were filled with so much waiting around. He couldn't help but thinking about Mike dying. The latest news hadn't been good. Mike had a ten percent chance and it felt like it just had got smaller. As he was reading and glanced over at Mike he couldn't ignore the stab in his chest at the thought of Mike not making it. He found that he was wrinkling the magazine in his hands, and tried to straighten it out again.

Donna was still stroking Mike's arm, her other hand resting close to Mike's neck, her finger's stroking his cheek a little. Mike was breathing deeply but Harvey wasn't sure that the kid was asleep, so he didn't dare to stop reading yet. Mike had wanted him to read, so he wasn't going to stop.

Mike had said that he didn't feel good, and Harvey felt like he needed to do everything he could to just make him feel as less bad as possible. It felt like there wasn't much he could do about Mike's physical condition, but he could do something about how Mike felt. If he just had Donna there holding him and could listen to Harvey's voice, maybe that would help. Harvey was pretty sure it did.

Mike did get better. He slept for a few hours and was woken by a doctor who wanted to check on his heart. A nurse came and put some kind of cream on the healing wound on Mike's chest. Mike said that it helped. "It doesn't hurt now." He said.

"That's good. That's really good."

The meds that they had been giving Mike after his last throwing up incident seemed to be working because he wasn't as nauseated as before either. As long as he was laying down he claimed that he didn't feel sick. He did have a fever though. That got Harvey really worried, since fevers might mean infections and he just wasn't sure how Mike could handle an infection at the moment. Mike's doctor however assured him that they didn't see any signs of an infection at the moment. But at the same time they didn't know what was causing the fever. All Harvey knew was that Mike and fevers didn't mix well. He always got so emotional, scared and all together miserable. And Harvey just wanted Mike to feel better. He wanted for him to get a break, feel okay, and feel like he had a chance. He didn't think Mike felt like that, so he did his best to be as nice to him as he could and hope that Mike took some of it to heart.

It didn't last long though, because as Donna went home to shower after a long night Harvey and Mike was told that Mike had a test coming up where they would draw some blood from his arm. Mike who still had a fever of 101.8 was not happy. He didn't want to do any tests at all.

"No I don't want to do it. I don't want to Harvey. Can't you tell them? You can tell them right?"

Mike looked up at him with shiny hopeful eyes. Harvey felt bothered, he didn't want to force this on Mike and at the same time the two nurses that was there were expecting to do their job. They had tried to talk to Mike but he hadn't been interested in listing to them.

"Mike... Look, I know you don't want to do this right now." He started.

"No, I don't. It hurts, and I'm so tired of it all. I don't want to hurt." He said with force and he squirmed on the bed.

"I know, I know. I don't want you to hurt anymore either, but you have to do this Mike. They said that it is necessary."

"Everything is necessary, that's what they say! You can't believe that. I don't want to Harvey."

"A very convincing argument kid, but I actually think that they wouldn't put you through it if it wasn't necessary."

"What? Are you on their side now?"

"No, Mike. There is no sides here. Everything they are doing they are doing to help you. If anything they are on your side. You know that."

Mike looked up at him and bit his lip. He didn't say anything for some time and Harvey held his gaze, until Mike glanced at one of the nurses.

"Could I at least wait an hour?"

"Yeah, I think we can manage that." Mike's nurse agreed, and they got an hour. However Mike wasn't that keen on the procedure after an hour either. When the nurses arrived Mike tensed and his gaze flickered between them and Harvey.

"Look, you can do it." Harvey encouraged. "It won't take long. I'll be here.

"No…" Mike mumbled, but still let them do what they were there to do. Harvey saw how he tensed as the nurse stuck the needle into him. He just wished he could take Mike with him away from this place, to somewhere where he wouldn't be in pain or wouldn't have to get stuck by needles. After the nurses left Harvey sat down close to Mike and placed a hand on his shoulder. Mike jerked at first. He felt too warm under Harvey's hand.

"You feeling better?"

Mike shrugged. "A little." He kept his eyes open and his gaze jumped around, not settling for anything longer than a few seconds.

"You tired?"

"No."

"Yeah right. You look terrible." It was meant as a joke, but it was true. Mike just nodded.

"I wish I could go home with you." He sighed.

"Yeah, that be great. As soon as you can we'll do it."

"I read that you only have to stay at the hospital for like a week after a heart operation." Mike said. "It's been almost two."

"Well, you always has to be the worst."

Mike's mouth twisted a bit, but his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"You should sleep. I would if I could." Harvey sighed. Truth was that he was exhausted. It felt like he had been awake for days at the time. Donna had commented on it as well, that he looked tired and "in need of a shave" as she said. She was right, but he couldn't do that at the moment. Shaving came low on the priority list. However Harvey actually didn't feel so good himself. He felt a bit too warm and a bit faint. He had developed a cough by the next day, and got a disapproving look from the nurse attending to Mike.

Later when Mike was asleep, fever still too high for anyone's liking a doctor came to talk to Harvey. They asked if he was sick or not and wanted to check him out. Harvey got it explained to him that if he was sick, even if he had a cold he couldn't be at the hospital. A simple virus like a cold could kill Mike like he was now he was told, making Harvey extremely uneasy. He agreed to a blood sample to determine whether he was too sick to be at the hospital. He prayed that he wasn't. Mike didn't need this right now, he was kind of out of it from his fever already as it was.

It was bad news, really bad news. They told Harvey he couldn't stay with Mike after seeing his blood work. It turned out that he had some kind of virus. Harvey tried to argue with them, he had to. For Mike's sake he had to. They said that he couldn't visit Mike until he got over whatever he had. He suggested that he would wear a mask when he was with Mike, they could get him shots or anything, but they wouldn't hear it.

"It's for Mike's sake, Mr. Spector. If you infect Mike with what you have it might become life threatening for him. We don't want that."

"But you know how he is. He doesn't like to be here alone, and with a fever he will like it even less."

"We will keep a close eye on him, and increase the nurse's rounds as much as possible. Mike will be taken care of. And his health is what matters the most right now."

So Harvey was allowed in a mask to Mike's room to say good bye for a few days and to explain what was going to happen. Harvey felt ashamed when he wished that Mike's fever was high enough for him to be out of it. If he were, maybe he wouldn't notice that much that Harvey was absent.

"Where have you been?" Mike asked when he stepped into his room again. "What is that?" He mention for the mask. "Why do you have that?"

Mike's eyes were glassy and his face flushed.

"You gave me whatever it is that you have." Harvey sat down with some distance between them.

"What?" Mike asked in a small voice as his eyes widened. "You have cancer too?" He breathed.

"No, Mike. I don't have cancer. It was a joke. A stupid one apparently."

"But you said you have what I have. Are you sick?"

"Cancer is not contagious, you idiot. But yeah, I'm sick."

"Oh. You are? I'm sorry."

"No, I'll be fine. It's just that I can't be here for a few days now Mike."

"Why not?"

"Because you can't get sick."

"I already am, I think. You can still come."

"No, Mike I can't. They won't let me in. I'm contagious. I can't infect you with it. That's not good."

Mike just looked at him with big eyes as if he tried to understand. Even though Harvey practically had spoken as you would a child. But he nodded later. "Okay." He said. "A few days?"

"Yes, a few days. But Donna will still come, and maybe Louis and Rachel too."

"Okay."

They talked some more and Harvey thought he had made Mike to understand what was going to happen. Mike did fall asleep while they were talking though, causing Harvey to have to wake him up and explain it again.

"It's fine. You will be back later." Mike said as they said good bye.

Harvey all but collapsed when he got home. He slept for ten hours straight. He then spent the next day at home trying to relax as much as he could to get better faster. The doctor had said that he needed to stay away for at least three days. The first day was okay. Donna and Rachel had been with Mike during the day. It worried Harvey when Donna said that Mike was doing worse. They had him on a lot of medication so he was sleeping a lot, but was almost delirious when he was awake.

Mike called him on the second day.

"Harvey?" He mumbled.

"Yes, hi Mike how are you doing?"

"I…I don't know. Not so good I think."

"Okay, kid. You will feel better soon."

"Yeah…Harvey?"

"Yes, Mike."

"I was just wondering where you were?"

Harvey's stomach made a knot at that question. He had expected it to come but now when it did he didn't know what to answer. He didn't want to make Mike more upset than he already was.

"I'm at home, because I'm sick. I told you. I'll come when I'm better."

"Oh. Yeah, okay."

"Donna will come though."

"Yeah. Okay." Mike repeated. "I was just wondering."

"Now you don't have to wonder anymore. I'll see you soon Mike."

They said good bye shortly after that, and Harvey called Donna. She promised that she would spend the day with Mike. She called him later in the afternoon telling him that Mike's fever had risen to 102.6 now. He was sleeping a lot though, but Donna said that he had been asking for Harvey almost every time he was awake. Donna said she explained to him every time, but the fever was too high.

Harvey worried like crazy. Mike was all he could think about. It seemed like he just needed a few good night's sleep because he felt much better after them. He called the hospital on the third day but they said to wait one more day to come in and make sure he wasn't contagious. He demanded them to tell them what was going on with Mike and also why they hadn't gotten him better yet. It didn't do much, except frustrate him more since he didn't get a clear answer.

However it was the hospital that called him on the fourth day. Harvey's heart almost stopped when he saw that it was the hospital that called him so early in the morning. Had something happened to Mike? He answered immediately.

Mike had had a very bad night, and wasn't much better in the morning he was told. They asked if he could come over. He barely took the time to get dressed properly. When he got there a doctor saw him and they said it was okay that he went in to see Mike.

Before he stepped into the kid's room he had been by and talked to his doctor. He had been told that Mike was really upset and had had a bad night. He had a high fever that they had trouble with getting under control. A doctor had just examined him, and they had tried to make Mike as comfortable as possible, but couldn't get him to relax. Harvey was told that Mike had been asking for him a lot.

He could hear Mike from the corridor. The kid was crying and it pulled on Harvey's heartstrings. Mike wasn't quietly sobbing, no, he was crying loudly and desperately. Harvey paused for a second before stepping into the room, he just had to collect himself a bit to be ready for what waited on the other side. What if he wouldn't be able to calm him down? What if Mike thought that he had been abandoned? That was a thought Harvey had had a hard time letting go of. After all he had promised Mike that he was going to be there for him, and now they hadn't seen each other for four days.

A nurse was inside the room sitting beside the bed trying to calm Mike down. But he wasn't paying her much attention. His hands waved her away, his eyes were bloodshot and his face flushed.

"No, stop it. Where is he? Where is Har-Harvey?" He cried. "Where is he?" Oh shit. Harvey quickly stepped up to the bed and lowered himself so that he was in Mike's line of sight.

"Mike, I'm here now. I'm right here. I'm here."

Mike was crying and crying. He didn't seem to be able to focus on Harvey. He was shaking. The state Mike was in was almost frightening. He stretched out his hand against Harvey, and called his name over and over. Harvey took Mike's sweaty hand in his and then searched behind him and managed to grab a chair so that he could sit down. The nurse had vacated it for him.

"Are you Harvey?" the nurse that was there asked. He just nodded, all his focus on Mike.

"Try to talk to him, and see if you can get through to him. It might work for you. Just press the button if you need help. I'll be back shortly." She said and quietly left the room, leaving Harvey alone with Mike.

"Harvey…Harvey? Is Harvey here?" Mike whispered. He wasn't looking at him, instead his eyes were focused on Harvey's hand in his. He tugged it closer to him, as if he was worried it would disappear. He still didn't seem to realize who the hand belonged to.

"Yes, Mike. I'm here. I'm right here. It's my hand."

"Where were you? Where? I couldn't find you. You weren't here." he sobbed a bit more.

"Hey, hey stop it Mike." Harvey tried to sooth him. "I'm here now. I'm sorry I didn't come by sooner kid."

"Harvey?" it looked like he tried to focus his eyes on Harvey, but he couldn't. His eyes kept dancing around the room.

"Yeah Mike."

"You are here?"

"Yes."

"Are you stay… are you staying? Here?" he hiccupped.

"Yes."

"You weren't here before and I wanted you to come. I asked where you were…They wouldn't…they didn't tell me." He whispered the last words and Harvey found himself clenching Mike's hand harder in his. Guilt was creeping up in him. He reached out and put his hand on Mike's head and left it there. He knew that the kid had wanted him there. He knew Mike was scared of being alone. He squeezed his hand harder, trying to ground him.

Mike was so out of it. Harvey hadn't seen him sick like this before. Not aware of his surroundings. Not much that the nurses had done for him seemed to help either. They pumped him full of as much drugs they could at this point without endangering his condition further Harvey had been told.

Mike was sweating from the fever making his shirt stick to his body. He was shaking from both the fever and the sobbing. He seemed to be uncomfortable in whatever position he was in because squirmed around on the bed and his eyes kept darting around the room. As if he was looking for something that wasn't there. Sometimes he wasn't aware that Harvey was with him there and would start to call out for him again. It was so hurtful to watch. Every time Mike called for him Harvey had to fight hard to get Mike's attention back on him. The sad part was that the kid seemed to be so relieved every time he realized that Harvey was sitting there next to him.

"You are here. Are you really here?" He said and then coughed straight out making Harvey cringe away a bit. He was holding on to Mike's hand.

"Yes, I'm really here. Don't worry."

"Can we leave, Harvey?" he asked and managed to find Harvey's eyes with his. Harvey slowly shock his head, and took hold of Mike's hand with both of his.

"Not now Mike. We have to stay awhile longer."

"But I want to come with you. I don't want to be here anymore." Mike whined and Harvey watched as tears started to pool in his eyes again.

"I know. I know, Mike." He whispered.

"I don't want you to go again. I get lost. I want to come with you."

"I'm not going anywhere. We are staying right here." Harvey tried to reassure him, but it seemed like Mike wouldn't believe him, couldn't. It was breaking Harvey's heart. It scared him in a way that he was feeling like this. He felt so helpless. Like nothing he did was helping.

"I think my brain is broken. Something is wrong." Mike mumbled a bit later. "Something is wrong. It's wrong." He kept repeating and didn't listen to what Harvey tried to say. He knew that he could make Mike listen, all he needed to do was raise his voice. But he felt he couldn't do that to Mike at this moment. He was pretty sure it might frighten Mike more than it would calm him, and he just couldn't have Mike fearful of him at this time.

He had to come up with something else, something that would work. At the moment he couldn't think of anything else than keep doing what he was doing, so he continued talking to Mike in a calm quiet voice, repeating nonsense hoping that it would reach him somehow.

"Hey, hey Mike. It's okay now. It's okay. You are okay now. You just have to calm down."

He put a hand on Mike's face, but he moved his head out of the way.

"No, I…no. I…I. No." He mumbled. He twisted on the bed, his rolling around on the pillow.

"Mike, come on kid. It's okay."

"It's..it's not. It's too warm. I want to leave. I need to leave."

Mike did try to sit up at this point as if he actually intended to leave. Harvey put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"I know Mike, but not right now."

"Yes, let me…let me go." Mike tried to remove himself from Harvey's grip. "Let me go."

Harvey carefully restrained him. He wanted to let go so badly though. He didn't want to do this to Mike. He didn't want to be this person who Mike had to fight against, even if it was in a state like this.

"You don't have to leave Mike. Things are okay now. I promise."

"Let go." Mike repeated weakly. "Please."

Harvey did immediately. Mike thankfully stayed where he was. He blinked slowly and briefly met Harvey's eyes.

"Harvey?" He asked next.

"Yes Mike."

Mike didn't do anything, just put his arm out and grabbed on to Harvey's sleeve. He looked at his own hand mumbling something Harvey couldn't make out. Harvey told him yet again that he was going to be okay, that he didn't have to worry.

Eventually Mike calmed down a bit. A nurse was in and checked on him and administered some more medication. She encouraged Harvey to continue with what he was doing, telling him he did a great job with Mike.

"This is the calmest he has been the last 24 hours." She told him and smiled at him. That didn't make Harvey feel any better at all. Mike wasn't sleeping, but instead laid on the bed slowly blinking and looking towards the window. He still held Harvey's sleeve in a tight grip. Harvey was patting his arm. Mike didn't seem interested in talking, so they mostly stayed quiet. An hour passed like that before Mike finally fell asleep and Harvey allowed himself to relax. He carefully removed his arm from Mike's slack hand and leaned back in his chair with closed eyes. He rubbed his face before adjusting Mike's blanket over him.

– SUITS –

Thank you all for the reviews and for reading! I hope you like this chapter as well. It's a bit dark though i think, and Mike isn't exactly doing that well. He will get a bit better in the next, I think.