Beating the odds

by LioSky

Something was going on with Mike, and it wasn't anything good. He felt it, and Harvey had noticed it. It was not like it was the first time either. But this time it was nothing that either of them could control. As it turns out Mike is sick, really sick. He is going to need help, and a lot of it.

45. Chapter 45 - Blind - Part 2

Chapter 45.

Mike blinked his eyes open, and flinched. He had forgotten for just the few seconds of being between sleep and awake. It was so new still. It hadn't been a day yet. Or had it? He had no idea what time it was. He blinked a few times. He was laying on the couch, so it couldn't be that late yet. Harvey wouldn't let him sleep on the couch the whole night. He didn't know what to do now though.

"Harvey?" he asked out into the room.

"Hi Mike. I didn't know you were awake." Donna's voice answered him.

"I wish I wasn't." He said honestly.

"Oh sweetie." Donna came and sat closer to him. He jerked in surprise when she touched his shoulder. He wasn't sure if he liked when someone touched him and he couldn't see when it happened. He felt vulnerable, and stupid for it. He just wished he could see. Why couldn't he see? It was so unfair. He felt like crying.

"Where is Harvey? Did he leave?"

"No, of course he didn't. He is just in the shower."

"Okay." Mike got quiet as he sat up. He wanted Harvey to come back now. He felt irrationally angry at Harvey all of a sudden for not being there when he woke up. He fought to think rationally and to calm down, tried to analyze this need he felt for Harvey to be there. What could Harvey do for him really?

Everything apparently according to his brain just a few seconds later. He wanted Harvey there to fix everything, to reassure him, to comfort him. Also Harvey had said that he was going to be there when Mike lost his mind, he was about to do that now.

"When is he coming?" He found himself asking.

"Well, I would guess in a few minutes."

Mike felt the anger grow inside him. He didn't answer Donna, just sat there silently clenching his teeth together.

"Mike?"

"What?!"

"You feeling okay?"

"What do you think?" he knew he was rude but he didn't care. He actually wanted to yell at her. Did she really think that he was feeling anything other than shit? He wished he could leave to go to his room, but he wasn't exactly sure on how to get there. He felt too unsure and he didn't want Donna to help him, to pity him. It left him to just sit there, staring out into the darkness.

"I'm guessing not so well." Donna said, and he didn't answer. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, and he shook his head.

"Well, I'm here if you change your mind."

Mike felt guilty. He was treating her badly and she still was nice to him. He nodded a little. He didn't want to have to care about that. He didn't want to care about anything, he just wanted to be able to see, and unless Donna couldn't fix it he didn't want to care. She didn't say anything and he felt bothered by it. For all he knew she could be sitting there just watching him. He didn't want her to. He needed to get out of there. He stood.

"Do you need something?" Donna asked.

"No." He said with force and carefully felt the edge of the coffee table and made his way in the direction he thought his bedroom was in. He cursed Harvey's place for having so much open space. He could hear Donna behind him. His finger met a wall that wasn't supposed to be there. He didn't know which way to go! He couldn't figure it out. "Damnit!"

"This way, Mike." Donna nudged his shoulder and he shrugged her off. "I know!"

He found his room and his bed and laid down with his back against the door. He closed his eyes tightly willing himself to just go back to sleep. He felt Donna cover him with a blanket and he didn't know why, but he threw it off him.

"Just leave me alone." It would have had better effect if his voice didn't break at the end of the sentence.

"Mike, sweetheart. I know this much be incredibly difficult…"

Mike interrupted her. "You don't know shit!"

"I was just trying to help you."

"I don't care what you were trying to do. I don't want your help." He refused to move from his spot on the bed. He had tears in his useless eyes now. Nothing anyone did was going to help him. Not even Harvey, but he apparently didn't care enough to be around.

"Okay…" Donna quietly said behind him. "I'll just leave you alone then. We'll check up on you in a while." He heard her walk away. But then her voice returned. "I'm not mad at you Mike."

The last sentence broke him. It made him feel like shit. He was shit. He hated himself. He brought up a pillow to his face and cried into it. He wanted it to end. He wanted to sleep. To be unconscious. To not have to feel.

He truly hated this disease and what it did to him. He wished he could handle it better. He couldn't understand why he reacted like this, why he couldn't be stronger? It was hard to except that he wasn't who he thought. That he was weak and pathetic and crying his eyes out without even knowing why right now.

"Mike?"

Harvey was there and he tried to stop. Besides it was kind of hard to breath into the pillow.

"Hi kid." Harvey said and Mike could feel him sitting down on his bed. Harvey's hand landed on his shoulder and Mike didn't move or say anything. Harvey started to stroke his arm and he was able to relax a bit more because it felt good.

"Donna is making you a sandwich, and you are going to eat it and feel better." Harvey told him and Mike believed him.

– SUITS –

Earlier Harvey had stepped out into the living room surprised to find Donna there alone.

"Where is Mike?" He asked and was met with a tired gaze from Donna.

"He is in his bedroom. He got upset and told me to leave." Harvey knew from the way her eyes looked that she was hurt by that.

"Mike never wants to be alone." He said gently. "He doesn't know what he wants right now."

"I know, so you should probably go and check on him."

Harvey sighed a bit. This was bad. It felt like he wouldn't be able to help Mike much at all at this point. Mike was bound to be freaked out. He still started walking towards Mike's room, but stopped himself.

"Donna, do you think you could make him a sandwich? He has barely eaten today. We should try to get something in him."

"Of course. I can't believe I didn't think of that." They went in separate directions and Harvey's heart clenched when he saw Mike curled up, shaking on his bed.

Mike actually ate the whole sandwich that Donna made. He timidly told Donna he was sorry, with his head turned in the direction he thought she was in. Donna moved until she stood where he was looking. She assured him that she didn't care, that it was okay to be upset. They all could be sometimes.

The rest of the day was spent close to Mike. Harvey could tell that the kid were tense. So far Mike had handled it pretty well. Better than Harvey had expected, but somehow he suspected that it wouldn't last, that it soon would be too much for Mike to handle. Sure the younger man had broken down a bit, but not in the way Harvey had expected him to. But he could tell that the panicked was there just below the surface. Harvey wasn't even sure if he would be able to offer much comfort and reassurance this time. How would he do that if Mike couldn't even see him to know that he was there?

They just were in a really shitty situation, and they would have to deal with it the best they could. He just felt so bad for Mike. He didn't deserve this!

Donna helped Mike to bed that evening. All forgotten between them. Harvey still heard how Mike apologized to her when she handed him his toothbrush in the bathroom.

Harvey came in and said good night to the kid and made Mike promise to call for him if he woke up during the night. Mike said that the fact that he now didn't know if it was morning or not freaked him out. After that conversation Harvey set an alarm for the next morning to be able to be awake and there when Mike did wake up.

Harvey had trouble falling asleep after Donna left. She had stayed until she was sure that Mike was sleeping soundly. She worried too. He didn't say anything to reassure her. He placed a call to Jessica before he went to bed and explained the situation. She was understanding and told him to stay with Mike as long as he needed, she would handle things at the office. However she asked if Donna would be there to coordinate with her and Louis, and he told her that she would.

It happened the next day, what Harvey had been both fearing and expecting. Mike couldn't take it anymore. He managed to hold out most of the day at least. It was painful to see him struggle. He flinched at every noise or when Harvey touched him. He complained about not wanting to eat and grumpily told Harvey not to stare at him. Harvey did try to make him feel better. He talked a lot more than he used to, he described the food in front of Mike, he described the weather, where he had moved the furniture to make it easier for Mike to move around. What he didn't tell Mike was that he also had moved some of his more expensive things out of the way. He didn't want to risk anything. However it didn't seem to help much what he was doing, Mike still freaked out. Not that Harvey blamed him. Mike kept asking him what time it was. He asked that question over and over again.

"What does it matter to you?" Harvey eventually asked. Mike stiffened.

"I just wanted to know." He said, head bowed down slightly. He kept his eyes open and they flickered about, following every sound.

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter, does it?" Harvey asked him.

"Never mind then. I'll stop asking if that's what you want." That was the first indication of a breakdown. Harvey thought he could spot the signs by now.

"Just relax Mike," He tried. "You can ask all you want."

Mike ignored him in favor of feeling around him on the couch in search for something, apparently a pillow. He hugged it close to his chest with one arm and rubbed his eyes hard with his other hand. He blinked and bit his lip.

"It's okay Mike."

"No it isn't." Was the mumbled reply. Suddenly Mike stood up making Harvey rise too. "You need anything?" He asked.

"No."

"Anything Mike, I mean it."

"Yeah, right. How about my sight back then? Can you give me that Harvey?" he paused before he uttered "I thought so." Harvey wanted to argue with him. Mike wasn't being fair, but he didn't. Mike had managed to get on his feet and started to stumble out on the living room floor. Harvey could hear him swear silently to himself under his breath.

"You want me to get you to your room?" Harvey asked and stood up as well.

"No!"

Harvey rolled his eyes. He couldn't understand why Mike refused to accept help from him at this point.

"Well you are walking in the wrong direction."

Mike stopped hesitantly and turned a little, his arms wide out in front of him. He took a few steps, but stopped, swallowing hard.

"Where is it…where is it…where am I?" Mike was whispering to himself as he slowly stared moving again. His eyes were wide open.

"Mike just let me help you." Harvey pleaded, but it was as if Mike didn't listen to him at all. He was about to knock down a painting with his flailing arms so Harvey stepped forward to steer him right, but as soon as he put his hand on Mike's arm the kid recoiled like he had been burned.

"No! Don't touch me." He practically yelled as he stepped away. Into the wall. He again jerked to the side, his expression radiating anguish.

"No…I'm lost, I'm lost." He said desperately, spinning in place with his arms stretched out in front of him. He was too far away from the wall and wasn't going to hit anything unless he moved more to his right.

"Mike, just try and calm down." Harvey started.

"I don't like this! I don't like it. I don't… I can't! I can't!" Mike exclaimed. He was breathing hard and was trembling. "Harvey? Are you there?" he said next.

"I'm still here."

"Help me." Mike breathed and Harvey's chest ached for him. He put a hand on Mike's shoulder to steer him right but the touch wasn't welcomed as Mike flinched and backed away only to walk into the wall. He swore and stumbled forward again.

"Mike…" Harvey tried to comfort him. This whole situation was just terrible.

"No…" Mike whispered. He looked so scared. He felt around with both hands until he found the wall again. He stumbled forward along it until it lead into Harvey's bedroom. It seemed to surprise Mike when his hand met air. He felt around for some time but then moaned a bit and just sank down to the floor. Like he just gave up.

"Mike come on, just come and sit down with me for a second on the couch."

"Just leave me alone. Don't touch me. I want to be alone." Mike said quietly and Harvey swallowed not really knowing what to do at this point. He didn't want to force Mike to something that he didn't want to do. But it was so painful to watch as Mike started crawling forward on all fours until he found the doorway on the other side. He had almost bumped his head into the frame. He found the corner next. He touched the wall as to ensure that it would move away from him and then he pressed himself into the corner and drew his legs up and hugged his knees. The kid then bowed his head down and rested his forehead on his knees. Harvey watched him in silence, feeling so incredibly sad for Mike. He blinked and felt a few tears of his own gathered there. Mike started crying a minute later. Harvey had expected him to. He knew that Mike couldn't hold it in this time. It was just heartbreakingly to have to watch without doing anything, he didn't want to go against Mike wishes of not being touched. He was allowed to talk though.

"Mike? Look, I know this is tough, but I'm right here if you need me."

Mike didn't acknowledge him, just continued to cry.

"I can't do this." He whispered. Harvey didn't think it was meant for him. After all Mike didn't even know that he was still there. The poor kid was really freaking out at this point. It had just gotten too much for him. "I can't do this. I don't want to do this."

"You can do it. You're strong Mike." Harvey did try. He was always going to try, but Mike wouldn't hear him at this point, and Harvey couldn't blame him.

"Just tell me what's bothering you the most."

Mike ignored him in favor of crying heartbreakingly and hugging himself harder. Harvey could see how tense he was.

"Come on, you got to talk to me, Mike."

"Fine!" Mike all but yelled at him then. "I'm scared, okay!" His head shot up and he turned in Harvey's direction. He wasn't done. "I afraid of the fucking dark Harvey. It's so damn dark, and I feel like I don't know where anything is, and it's like I'm totally alone all the time, because it's all black. It freaks me out. I'm scared! There, are you happy now? I said it. Go ahead and laugh or whatever."

"It's not funny Mike." Harvey said, because it was so true. At this moment he had to steel himself to not quiver on his voice. This was the opposite of funny. It must be so awful for Mike, being afraid of something that he couldn't do anything to get rid of.

"No, it's not it's fucking pathetic." Mike's voice did tremble. "I'm so pathetic all the time, Harvey." He said. "I can't stand myself. I don't want to be this person."

Harvey didn't know what to say. He was only quiet for a few seconds but it was too long, because Mike most likely took it as some kind of confirmation, because he turned his head down and soundlessly sobbed while hugging his knees.

"Mike, I don't care. You are not pathetic. You are the strongest person I know."

"Well, you don't know that many people do you."

"Really? Insults?" Harvey muttered, but scooted closer to Mike. "I mean it. You know I do. And right now, you are in a really shitty situation. I don't expect you to be all smiles and act like everything is okay. I'm just…" he had to stop for a while. "It's okay to be scared. I would be too."

"I'm scared all the time." Mike whispered. "It's just so much. This is just another thing, it's everything. The treatment not working, the operation, the chemo and how it makes me feel, but this…" Mike had to stop when his voice broke, but he started it up again. "This just makes it three times worse. Before at least I had some control. I could at least see what was going on, and now…I can't. It just scares me. I'm scared of being awake." He was shaking. Harvey really needed to step in now.

"I'm so sorry to hear that." He said. "I'm right next to you now. I'm just going to put my arm around you." He did. Mike didn't flinch away this time, he stilled. "Just close your eyes Mike." Harvey said as he what he wished was comforting stroke Mike's arm.

Mike didn't close his eyes, in fact he didn't move at all. He sat ridged next to Harvey, his unseeing eyes staring forward. He wasn't crying anymore. He wasn't doing anything at all. They just sat there. Harvey continuing offering his support, Mike still and tense as a statue. As if he was forcing himself to stay like that. He didn't respond when Harvey tried to talk to him, it was like he wasn't listening and it got Harvey worried. It was first when Harvey made a move to rise from the floor that he got any kind of reaction. Harvey was just thinking about them moving somewhere else and he had told Mike that. The floor wasn't that comfortable. But when Harvey removed his arms from Mike, the younger man did react in the most heartbreaking way. His face twisted in a grimace and his eyes flooded over immediately. His body relaxed and he started to tremble again.

"Nooo…" Mike whispered. "Don't leave." His hand fumbled jerkily in Harvey's direction. "Please. I'll be alone."

The last part was barely audible, but Harvey was still close enough so that he could hear Mike. He said it like a statement more than anything else.

"I won't leave you alone Mike. Never." He touched Mike again. "Look, I told you. It's just so uncomfortable here. Let's just go and sit somewhere else, okay? You and me." He was aware of how he was speaking to Mike, but he didn't care.

"Yeah?" Mike whispered.

"Yes. I'll help you. You just need to follow my lead. It'll be fine."

"It will?"

"Of course it will."

Mike hesitated. It was almost like he was scared of moving as well. His mouth opened and closed and Harvey patiently waited, standing on his knees with a hand on Mike's shoulder.

"I'm just having trouble handling this right now, you know." Mike eventually said.

"It's okay."

"Okay." Mike finally agreed.

"Good, now come on. Let me help you up."

"Sure." Mike held out his hand and Harvey pulled him up and steadied him when he swayed. Harvey slowly led him to the closest bed, which was his own.

"Just sit down here will you?" he said gently and took Mike's arm to show him where the edge of the bed was.

Mike felt in front of him. "No, this isn't my bed." He said and started to back away.

"I know that, you idiot. Sit down." So Mike did. Harvey grabbed a blanket from a chair nearby and draped it over the kids back before sitting down next to him, close enough so that their shoulders were touching. He slowly put an arm around Mike's back and stroke his arm.

"We are just going to sit here for a while." He said. Mike didn't move.

"It's okay Mike." Harvey said and hoped that Mike believed him at least a little. That it was okay that he was scared, that it was okay that he couldn't do this and that Harvey was okay with everything. Mike did nod a little. They sat there in silence after that. Mike was working on getting his breath under control. The tension in his body slowly eased up. He slumped a bit into Harvey was if he was too drained to sit up by himself. Or maybe he was just seeking comfort. Harvey squeezed his shoulder a little extra.

"Do you want to lay down?" He asked and Mike nodded.

Then he just leaned backwards and let himself fall down forcing Harvey to do the same. Mike let out a deep breath before he turned on his side and pressed his head against Harvey as he screwed his eyes shut.

"Okay." Harvey said. His arm was still beneath Mike. He left it there. Mike sighed a bit.

"You know, if I don't die and get better we are never talking about me needing this." He said, his voice a bit muffled.

"What about me needing this as well?" Harvey asked.

"What?"

"Maybe I need this too."

"Why would you?" Mike asked. He sounded genuinely surprised.

"Maybe it hurts me to see you hurt like this. So maybe I need this too."

"Okay." Mike said after a moment of silence. "But we are still not talking about it."

"Fine."

They stayed like that. Mike's warm body pressed against his. Mike had gripped his shirt in one of his hands and was holding on like he never wanted to let go. Harvey was just glad that the kid was relaxed. He had his eyes closed now. That meant that he wouldn't be exposed to the complete darkness that now was his world and apparently biggest fear. It almost hurt inside Harvey to know that Mike was that afraid. He couldn't do anything about it. He prayed that the medication Mike had gotten would take affect faster than the doctor had promised.

Harvey also somehow believed that this was the worst they would have though, he knew know so he would do everything in his power to make this easier on Mike. This, what they were doing now seemed to be working. It was somewhat surreal that he was in this position. If his self from just a year ago had gotten to know that he would be on a bed hugging his associate close to him he would have laughed out loud. But here he was and he wouldn't dream of letting go of Mike at this moment. This was what mattered. That Mike wasn't scared, even if it just was for a few hours. That the kid could sleep next to him in peace as he just laid there, waiting. He was most definitely a changed person.

– SUITS –

After Mike's little breakdown as Mike called it in his head, he and Harvey had a long talk. He had woken up and was still nestled to Harvey's side. He had been embarrassed as hell for a second, but then decided not to care. Harvey had said that he had needed this too. He had no idea on how long he had been sleeping, but he felt a lot better, not as panicky, so it must have been awhile. But Harvey was still there. He felt so incredibly grateful. He told Harvey that during their talk, but Harvey just said it was nothing, that it was what needed to be done. Mike understood what the older man meant. At least he thought he did. Harvey was really there for him.

Harvey asked him what he could do to help him, and Mike tried to explain how it all felt. He wasn't sure on how things would help, but maybe if he just knew that Harvey was around, if he knew where he was himself that would help.

"It's just so freaking scary, when I don't know where I am. Also, when…when you touch me without letting me know, it's just…eh." Mike paused. "I just don't like that. When I don't know."

"I'll keep that in mind. Now come on. Can I help you up?"

They moved their conversation to the couch, and Harvey got them something warm to drink. Harvey told him exactly where everything was when they were walking. He told him what was on the coffee table. He had gotten Mike an extra big mug.

"So you won't spill it all out over yourself."

"I wouldn't do that."

"You would. I could get you a sippy cup if you like."

"Shut up, or I'll spill this on purpose over your couch."

"You do that and I'll go and order it online right now. Not only a sippy cup, I'll throw all your food in a mixer and make you eat it with a straw."

"Eww… Wait? Even pizza?"

"Especially pizza."

Mike let out a laugh.

"You know what, the upside of this is that I don't have to see your ugly face anymore everywhere I turn."

"You love to see me there." Harvey smirked. Mike didn't say anything about that though. He just rolled his blind eyes. They sat in silence for a while.

"You'll get to see me soon again." Harvey pushed Mike a bit. Mike hit him lightly on the arm, after trying twice.

"You know another good thing with this." Mike contemplated a while later.

"What?"

"At least I can't see how bad I look now." Mike said, causing Harvey to give out a laugh. "You think that's funny? Seriously…" Mike muttered. And Harvey couldn't stop himself from laughing again.

"Oh come on it's a little funny." He started laughing more. Noticing how good it felt. He looked at Mike and saw his mouth twitch a bit. Then he smiled too. Then joined in Harvey's laughter.

"I guess it is. Do I really look that bad?"

"Yep."

Unfortunately Mike didn't really feel that much better during the next few days. Mike refused to get out of bed the next day. He just laid curled up, pressed against the wall as much as he could. He had his head buried in his pillows and hugging another close to himself. If he did this, he didn't have to deal with the fact that he was blind. He could just pretend that everything was normal.

Harvey went inside his room asking if he wanted breakfast, Mike refused. It surprised him a bit when Harvey let him be. Mike was yet again so grateful towards Harvey because he knew that the older man was making efforts to help him through this. He had started to make his own movements louder now, clamping around in the condo and slamming doors or kitchen drawers. At least then Mike could hear that he was there.

Harvey asked Mike what he wanted for lunch. Mike said he wanted nothing. Harvey told him he had to eat, Mike said he didn't. Harvey bullied with a sandwich. Mike got pissed at him, but ate it anyway before laying down again.

"I just want to sleep Harvey."

He managed to sleep a lot during the next few days. He had a hospital visit which was very stressful. He had even begged Harvey to not have to go, but Harvey had convinced him by saying that he would be there. He felt like a little child with Harvey leading him everywhere, Harvey constantly talking to him, or holding a comforting hand on his shoulder. He didn't protest though. It was easier like that.

What wasn't easier was when he got sick after treatment and couldn't see where the bucket was when he needed to throw up. It meant that he had to call out for Harvey to hold it, or direct his head every time he got ill. It wasn't pleasant for either of them. Harvey didn't complain though.

Donna came by as well. In fact she was there a lot and kept him company if Harvey had to go somewhere. They didn't leave him alone and he didn't feel as scared. He got use to the blindness more and more as the days passed.

Both Harvey and Donna laughed at him one morning when he walked out into the kitchen. He had managed to put his sweater on both inside-out and with the back to the front.

"How should I know?" He mumbled. "It's Harvey's fault, he does my laundry."

At least Harvey stopped laughing then.

Before Mike knew it a week had passed. He was starting to wish for the blindness to regress earlier than he had been told, but it didn't seem to happen. Everything was still black when he opened his eyes laying in bed.

Mike swore. He had just woken up and he knew something was off. Something new. His nose felt oddly wet and he had a strange taste in his mouth. He brought his hand up to feel, it felt kind of sticky. His pillow was a bit wet as well. As he sat up he understood what it was. He had a nose bleed. Shit.

As he sat up it started bleeding more. He felt it run down his upper lip and he brought his hands up to try and stop it. He swore again and started to get out of bed. He needed to either find the bathroom or find Harvey. He was no idea what time it was, if the other man was awake or not. He also didn't know how much he was bleeding. It was gross however, as he tried to estimate how bad it was by releasing his nose a bit and blood flowed down over his mouth. He tried to stop with both of his hands, leaning his head back.

He stumbled out of his room and towards the bathroom. He felt a bit dizzy and reached out to find a wall to support himself with. He found the bathroom and after some fumbling around also some paper that he stuffed his nose with hoping it would help. He felt tired and wanted to go back to bed and ended up taking the whole roll of paper with him.

– SUITS –

Harvey woke up well rested for a change. They had went to bed pretty early last night. It was almost eight thirty and he decided it was time to get up. When he walked towards the bathroom he saw something that immediately got him more alert. Something was smeared on the wall, and he realized as he came closer that it must be blood. His heart sped up and he felt cold. The bathroom was empty so he rushed towards Mike's room. The door was closed and Harvey threw it open as he called Mike's name.

"Shit." He swore as he saw the kid. Mike looked terrifying. Dried blood was smeared across his face, and he had what looked like paper stuffed up into his nose. There was a dark spot on his pillow as well. Harvey shook Mike's shoulder to wake him up. At first it didn't work, causing Harvey with trembling hands to feel along Mike's neck for a pulse. However as he did Mike stirred and twisted a little to the side to avoid Harvey's touch.

"What?" he slurred blinking his eyes opened. Not that it helped him much. Harvey had seen that look on Mike's face a few times now.

"Are you okay Mike? When did this happen? Are you still bleeding?"

Mike was quiet for a while. "What?" he asked again then.

"Your nose."

"Yeah, right. I had a nose bleed." Mike said and closed his eyes again as if he was going back to sleep.

"No kidding." Harvey muttered and shook him again. "You need to get up Mike. You can't lay in that." It was almost an alarming amount of blood on Mike's pillow. Turns out that he had been blocking another patch of dried blood with his head. He would have to wash everything. There was blood on the cover as well.

After a little bit of arguing, Mike was tired, he got the kid back to the bathroom and had him to sit down.

"You scared the shit out of me." He muttered as he started to remove the paper from Mike's nose, ignoring Mike when he claimed he could do it himself.

"Why?" Mike asked.

"I wake up and I find blood spatters on the wall, and then you on the bed covered in it."

"I wasn't covered in it." Mike argued. "Right?" He then had to ask.

"It's was a lot. Why didn't you come and wake me?" Harvey started to wet a towel.

Mike shrugged. "It wasn't a big deal. How am I supposed to know it was a lot?"

"Even if it wasn't a lot you should come to me. Don't move." He started cleaning Mike's face.

"Okay Harvey, I will." Mike held his face still as Harvey did his best to get the blood away from it. It had dried around his nose and lips and along his cheeks. He even had some on his neck, how it had gotten there Harvey didn't know. He also got Mike to wash his hands since, surprise, it was blood there as well.

"How on earth did you manage to get it everywhere?" Harvey complained as he loaded the washing machine after breakfast.

"I don't know." Mike muttered from the couch. He was slouched back with his eyes closed. When Harvey came back from the bathroom he was asleep.

At lunch it happened again. They were eating when Mike called his name to get his attention. Harvey looked up and saw Mike sitting there with a hand over his nose.

"Is it bleeding again?" He asked and removed his hand and wrinkled his nose a bit. It resulted in blood starting to stream down his face. "Shit." He mumbled and put his hand back. Harvey was already on his way back with some paper.

"Lean your head back." He trusted the paper in Mike's empty hand and helped him cover his nose. "Hey?" He steadied Mike as he swayed in the chair.

"I'm dizzy." Mike pointed out totally unnecessary. He coughed a bit and gulped.

"Gross. Did you just swallow…?"

Mike just moaned. "I want to lay down." He looked so miserable and Harvey led him to the couch. He didn't even remark anything the possibility about Mike bleeding on it. He could always wash that too. Probably.

An hour later Mike's nose was still bleeding and the kid wasn't happy. They changed the small balls of paper in Mike's nose many times, and Harvey had googled nose bleed that doesn't stop. He had found some tricks, but Mike wasn't compliant with trying them out. He just waved Harvey away and told him to leave him alone, he wanted to sleep.

Harvey was getting worried when Mike didn't wake up as blood trickled down again from the paper. He called an ambulance then. He shook Mike awake and explained that a hospital trip was in his near future.

"No Harvey. I'm too tired. I don't want too." Mike weakly begged and Harvey watched as his eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry kid. But I can't fix this. You are still bleeding."

"Yeah, I just want it to stop now." Mike rubbed his eyes. "Sorry."

"No, no, you have nothing to be sorry about. It'll be okay. We'll get you some help."

They got help in from of a couple paramedics that luckily could fix Mike up on site, by using some sort of tool to cauterize the blood vessels in Mike's nose. Harvey's heart broke a bit for the kid as he was sitting next to Mike holding his hand as Mike squirmed underneath the paramedics. At least they didn't need to go to the hospital. The paramedics helped Harvey to move Mike to his bed and left some special supplies and instructions of calling again if it started bleeding.

Mike was miserable and quiet. Harvey pulled up a chair close to the bed.

"Harvey?" He whispered.

"Yeah? I'm here."

"Can I…" Mike swallowed. "Can you…?"

Harvey saw how he turned up his hand and closed it and opened it again.

"Sure." He said grabbing Mike's hand in his. "I'm here Mike. I'm right here. You can sleep now."

Mike that looked like he was on the edge of a breakdown took a few deep breaths and relax. His grip around Harvey's hand hardened and Harvey quietly told him that he wasn't leaving. That was how he spent his Saturday night.

Mike had a fever the next morning, probably due to the day before. Maybe it was too much for his body to handle. Harvey spoke to Mike's doctor about whether they should come in or not, but it was decided that Mike could remain at home for now. Harvey had to take care of him himself. When he hang up he had to shake the feeling of sudden dread of him. Somehow it felt like things were slipping out of his grasp. But a few deep breaths later he was back to check on Mike. He was asleep which was good.

Harvey placed a call to Donna who came over after a brief stop on a electrical store per Harvey's request. She had sounded a little surprised on the phone. Mike's fever got higher later that night and it messed with the kids head. Donna had left on Harvey's reassurance that they would be fine. Mike didn't want to do anything Harvey told him which was frustrating.

"Mike you need to take this." Harvey said for the third time.

"No, I don't want to. I'm not hungry Harvey."

Harvey sighed. "I know that Mike, but this isn't food. This is your pills, which you need to take."

"No…" Mike mumbled.

"Yes, you do."

"I don't want them."

"I don't care, you are taking them anyway. Now, Mike. Sit up."

Mike ignored him, and Harvey's frustration increased. He didn't want to deal with this.

"Mike. Now." He shook him a little.

"Leave me alone." Mike said.

"I will after you take the damn pills." When that didn't work he thought, screw it. "If you don't take them right now, I'll leave you here alone Mike."

It wasn't fair. He didn't want to do it. He regretted it almost immediately.

"What?" He had Mike's attention now at least.

"Sit up now and take your pills." Mike did nothing and Harvey had had enough. He raised Mike's bed, grabbed the younger man's shoulders and heaved him up in a sitting position. "Now." He said with a stern voice. He took Mike's hand and put a few of the pills in them.

"I'm waiting."

Mike did what he said then, but Harvey cursed inwardly as he saw how Mike's eyes teared up. He was crying all the time. What was up with that? It wasn't like Harvey was asking a lot.

"Stop crying Mike, and just swallow them."

Mike did and then started to sink back down. "No, you're not done." Harvey pushed the rest of the pills in his hand. As Mike put them in his mouth he grabbed his arm again, noticing how Mike tried to rip it out of his grip. "It's water." He said and gave Mike a glass.

Mike spilled it on his lap, and tears followed. "Sorry." He said in a small voice. He sat there as frozen, glass in hand. He jerked when Harvey took it from his hand and put it on the table. Mike didn't move. His breathing had quickened. Harvey sighed and Mike jerked again.

Shit.

Harvey sat down on the bed and placed his hands on Mike's shoulders. Mike flinched.

Harvey's heart sank. The kid was afraid of him. "Mike?"

"Sorry."

"No, come on." Harvey pulled the kid towards him and wrapped his arms around him. Mike was stiff and did nothing to hug him back. Harvey put a hand on his head and let Mike lean against his shoulder. Mike mumbled that he was sorry again, so sorry. He sobbed against Harvey, just leaning against him heavily. Harvey just stroke his back and waited.

He did his best to offer comfort. "I know it's tough right now kid. I know. I know." He mumbled in Mike's ear. Mike didn't answer him, just continued like before. They sat like that for a while, until Mike's breaths slowed down.

"Mike?" Harvey calmly asked. Nothing. The kid was asleep. Harvey carefully maneuvered him to lay down, then lowered the bed. He adjusted the covers over Mike and stood watching him for a second.

He went back to the kitchen and found the package that he had asked Donna to buy. He was glad that he hadn't had to buy it himself. He opened the box and had to take out the instructions. He had never seen a baby monitor before. He didn't get why he hadn't thought of this earlier when he placed one of the receivers next to Mike's bed.

Mike wasn't a baby, and Mike would probably protest if he could see this, but Harvey thought it was genius. This way he could be in the kitchen or in his own room and he would hear if Mike needed him. Genius!

Turned out that he got to use it the same night as Mike woke up and was almost in hysterics. Harvey woke up from a sound next to him and for a moment he had forgotten what the hell it was. It was close to three AM and something was wrong with Mike.

Harvey turned the light on and Mike was trashing in bed. He was moaning and had thrown the cover off him.

"Mike, Mike, calm down." Harvey was next to him and touched his cheek. Mike was burning up.

Mike was breathing so hard Harvey was worried about his heart. He needed to get through to Mike, but he wasn't listening. He was mumbling incoherently and moved around on the bed. He trashed out at Harvey when he tried to get contact with him. Harvey didn't know what to do.

It took three hours before Mike fell asleep again, and Harvey was exhausted. He could understand why Mike freaked out like he just had. High fever and blind wasn't a good mix. Mike had begged him to turn the lights on, pleaded, and looked confused when Harvey told him again and again that he was blind, that it would get better soon. Mike didn't hear him, instead he called for help. He called out to Harvey, Donna, his grandmother and even his parents. It was just tragic. Harvey just wished he would pass out. It would be better than this. He tried to get some pills into Mike, but it took two hours before Mike was calm enough to accept them.

Harvey slept in the chair that night.

Mike was better the next day. He barely remember the night before. Just that he had been out of it and that Harvey had been there. He went on about it, even though Harvey told him to let it go.

"What did I do?" he asked. "I freaked out right?"

"You don't want to know." Harvey told him, but Mike insisted.

"Come on, did I say something stupid? You can tell me!"

"Mike…"

"Harvey…?"

Harvey rolled his eyes feeling a bit annoyed. "You called for your mum, kid."

"Oh." Mike got quiet. "I guess I don't want to know then." He added. "I want to sleep."

"Mike, I'm sorry." Harvey said.

"No, it's okay. I asked." He closed his eyes and Harvey felt like an ass.

"Look, Mike. We are both doing as good as we can here, alright."

"I know, Harvey. I'm sorry I freaked out on you."

"It wasn't what I meant. You can freak out all you want. It's just that sometimes I don't know how to help you."

"What are you talking about? You always help me."

"It doesn't always feel like I do."

"I feel like you do."

"Well, good Mike. That's good." Harvey stood up, but Mike stopped him. "Wait."

"Could you stay?"

Harvey swallowed.

"Harvey? Harvey are you there?" Mike started to sit up, his whole expression changed.

"Yes, yes I'm here."

"I thought you left." Mike breathed out.

"You thought wrong."

"Sorry. Sorry. You can go if you want. I just… I don't know." He had a hard grip on the covers. Then he swore. "I wish I didn't feel like this."

"I'll be back in one second." Harvey quickly left to change into something more comfortable, got Mike's meds and a glass of water for later and Mike's iPad. Then he got Mike to move more to the side so that he could lay down next to the kid.

Another day was spent like that. They talked, Mike slept, Harvey read and wrote some e-mails, read a few articles out loud to Mike, they watched a movie. Or Harvey watched Mike listened with his eyes closed, or he was sleeping. Harvey wasn't sure.

They went back to the hospital the next day to check on Mike's eyes. Mike got a prescription for some eye drops that were supposed to help. They were strong, because Mike complained that his eyes stung afterwards. The eye doctor told them that that was a good sign.

Harvey didn't agree since they seemed to cause Mike a lot of discomfort. He was supposed to take them twice a day. It left Mike's eyes red and teared up. Mike didn't complain though.

"If I get my sight back it's worth it." He said.

Two days later Harvey found Mike blinking furiously on the couch. He stopped in front of him.

"Eh…Are you crying?" Harvey asked him. "You okay?"

"It's nothing." Mike tried, but Harvey didn't leave it alone. Couldn't. "Talk to me."

"It's just feels a bit better."

"You feel better when you cry?"

"My eyes are not as dry then. Let it alone."

"Yeah, okay. Fine. Don't you have those eye drops? Maybe you should take them."

"I can't see where they are, can I?" Mike snapped.

Harvey rolled his eyes and found them on the kitchen counter. He was the one who did this to Mike. Donna had done it a few times as well. She was way better than he was.

Amazingly the eye drops were working, or something was because Mike's sight was gradually getting better. Harvey asked him about it one night.

"How are your eyes?"

"Better. I think my vision might be coming back."

"What?! Really? When did that happen? That's great Mike."

"Yeah…" Mike smiled carefully. "Last night or so. I don't know. It's weird. I can't explain it."

It slowly got better and with that Mike's mood improved. First he started to see shapes and the difference with a lit room one and dark one. That got better as well, and Mike could see when Harvey was in the room. He was thrilled by the fact when he could distinguish what was happened on the TV screen. Harvey shared in his excitement, how could he not. It was really great news.

They went back to the hospital and for once got good news. The eye doctor thought that Mike would make a full recovery regarding his eyes. He said that things were looking good. Mike didn't appropriate that choice of words. "Is he kidding?" He hissed at Harvey. But it was good news, the doctor thought that Mike's sight would be close to normal in just a few days.

"So I won't be needing glasses?" Mike asked. "You said that it was a possibility last time."

"We will give you some to use in the beginning so you won't strain your eyes too much." Mike seemed satisfied with that answer.

"We should go and celebrate!" Mike exclaimed in the car. So they did. One of the weirdest thing Harvey had ever celebrated. But it was nice to be somewhere else than home for a change, and Mike was more happy than he had been in weeks. He was talking non-stop, reminding Harvey of a time that felt much too far away. He didn't interrupt.

– SUITS –

Here is an update for you! Hope you like it. It was a pretty depressing chapter, not that the other's are that uplifting :p Thank you so much for the reviews. They do make me more motivated to write more. Let me know what you thought :)