Beating the odds

by LioSky

Something was going on with Mike, and it wasn't anything good. He felt it, and Harvey had noticed it. It was not like it was the first time either. But this time it was nothing that either of them could control. As it turns out Mike is sick, really sick. He is going to need help, and a lot of it.

47. Chapter 47 - Falling

Chapter 47.

Mike found himself on the floor. Damn it! He had just intended on going to the bathroom, but had gotten dizzy and barely managed two steps before he was on the floor next to his bed.

He wasn't even sure how he had ended up in his bed after yesterday's birthday celebration. It had been one of his best birthday's that he could remember. He had never appreciated his birthday more. As a kid it had been great but he had expected it to happen, that was before his parents died of course. After that he hadn't really wanted to celebrate it that much. It felt too empty without them.

Yesterday had been different. Amazing actually. They had all been there for him. They had treated him normally, like he wasn't sick. Obviously he was, because he couldn't get up now. His knees had taken most of his weight when he went down and they hurt now. He tried to get up on his hands and knees but couldn't get the strength to do so. He breathed deeply feeling mostly angry. His arms were too weak to hold him up and when he tried they gave out and he just ended up smacking his cheek on the floor.

He was just tired, that had to be it. And he shouldn't have tried to get out of bed that fast, he should have waited a few minutes.

"Harvey?" he called out. He didn't want to stay on the floor anymore. It was kind of cold. He rested his head on the floor as he heard footsteps coming towards him. Good.

"Shit!" Harvey swore when he stepped into the room. "What the hell are you doing on the floor?" he got down on his knees next to Mike. "Mike?"

"I'm fine." Mike muttered. "Just help me up."

Harvey did help him, but had this look on his face the whole time. Mike wanted to tell him to stop looking like that, but he didn't. Instead he let Harvey help him up and sit on the bed. He felt all shaky after the effort of getting there.

"You sure you are okay?" Harvey was asking.

"Yes. I just got a little dizzy."

"Did you fall?"

"Just a little."

"Just a little?" Harvey huffed.

"Yeah."

"You know, we still have the wheel chair." Harvey offered smirking and Mike tried to punch him, but he was too far away, and Mike almost fell out of bed again. Harvey just shook his head at him, asked if he should get it, and laughed when Mike glared at him. He did stay though, until Mike was sure he was steady enough on his feet to come with him out from his room.

He slept a lot that day. Mostly on the couch. Harvey was around. Mike was pretty sure it was the weekend.

He didn't really trust his ability to walk at the moment. He felt better when he could keep on hand on the wall when he was walking, just in case. He did try and avoid it as much as he could. He didn't know if this counted as worse, concerning the dizziness. His doctor had told him to let them know if it had. But it was common for people like him, that was what he had been told. He had googled a bit as well and wasn't overly worried. It was a bit scary though, to not be able to trust his own body.

He had had a few episodes during the last few days. Almost fallen in the bathroom had been the worst. It was a lot of sharp hard things in there. He didn't want to break something.

He hadn't mentioned anything to Harvey. He probably should have. Things had been easier if he had.

He was just going to put his glass away after taking a few pills. He was in the kitchen by the counter, when he felt one of those dizzy spells coming over him. He didn't have much time but he managed to set it down, before he went down. It was such a strange feeling. Like the world just tilted on its side with him having no chance to adapt to it. Unfortunately he was too close to the counter so his cheek took a rather hard hit on his way down. For a second it caused everything to blur out. He was dazed and hurting all over when he came to again. He was pretty sure that he hadn't passed out but now Harvey was there, very close to him. He was speaking.

"Mike? Mike? Come on kid, talk to me." Harvey was holding a hand underneath his head. "Mike please."

He should really answer, Harvey sounded freaked. "Hmmm…" he got out. His cheek hurt! It hurt to move it.

"What?"

"Fine." he got out.

"You are not fine. I saw you go down. That did not look like fine."

"Am."

"You know, when you talk in one-syllables it doesn't help your case."

Mike tenderly rubbed his cheek a bit. It felt mostly whole. Probably not broken. He moved it a little. "I'm fine." He then said.

Harvey rolled his eyes at him.

"Sure you are."

"Help me up." Mike groaned. He didn't want to lay like this anymore. And besides he was fine. However Harvey didn't seem to agree. He didn't want to let it go.

– SUITS –

Harvey had been on the couch, reading a file when he happened to glance over towards Mike just in time to see him stumble forward a little and then just drop to the ground, however not without hitting his face painfully hard on the kitchen counter. Shit!

Harvey was off the couch without even thinking and rushing towards Mike. It had looked very bad. The way Mike's face had collided with the counter. What if he had broken his jaw? And why the hell did he just fall? Was it his heart? Was it another heart attack? Did the kid's heart just stop? All of these thoughts had rushed through his head by the time he reached Mike. He was in a heap on the floor. Was he awake?

Harvey carefully turned the younger man around on his back. There was a read angry bruise on the kid's cheek. Mike was unconscious. Harvey swallowed hard as he felt around Mike's neck for a pulse. He sighed in relief as he felt one.

"Mike? Mike? Wake up!" he tried. Mike didn't stir. Did he hit his head as well? He needed the kid to wake up so that he could determine what the situation required of him. He needed to bring Mike to get checked out. That was just a fact, but he would prefer Mike to wake up first. He didn't want to call an ambulance if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

As he carefully placed a hand under Mike's head he again tried to wake him up. This time Mike slowly blinked his eyes open. He was groggy and not fully there. He claimed that he was fine though and Harvey didn't believe him for a second, but he helped Mike to sit up.

He kept his hand on Mike's shoulder as Mike leaned towards the kitchen island with closed eyes, not helping Harvey getting convinced that he was fine. He didn't like the way Mike tried to just brush this off. He had just fallen to the ground just like that without anything seemingly being the cause. That wasn't nothing.

Mike tried to get up then. He failed completely. He would have crashed to the floor again if it hadn't been for Harvey catching him. That was enough for Harvey.

"That's it! We are going to the hospital. You know, this is one time too many that I have seen you stumble and fall like that. Don't think I haven't noticed Mike. You hurt yourself this time, something is wrong with you."

"What isn't wrong with me? It's just some balance crap. I don't have to go there to have them tell me that."

"It could be something serious and you might have hurt yourself just now. You are going."

Harvey was already starting to look for his wallet and phone to bring with him.

"No! I'm not going! I won't. It's not necessary Harvey. I already asked about it." Mike were saying once again. What the hell was with the kid? Harvey was staring to get pissed. He had had enough. They had been over this before, Mike not wanting to go. Harvey didn't get why? Right now he didn't care what Mike was saying though. He went on about that it wasn't necessary and that he had brought it up with his doctor and that it was fine. But nothing with this was fine. Mike had just been walking to be on the floor the next second. And it wasn't the first time. He had seen how Mike walked with a hand on the wall for support.

He had also asked Donna if she had noticed anything, she hadn't seen anything but told him that Rachel had expressed concern about Mike. Saying something about him falling in her office.

Harvey was worried and had already made up his mind, no matter of what Mike said. Even if it was like Mike said Harvey wanted to hear it for himself. Mike needed an x-ray of his face as well. They were going to the hospital.

But Mike refused. He said he was tired and wanted to sleep. You couldn't do that in the hospital he claimed.

"They have beds everywhere. Of course you can sleep!" Harvey exclaimed.

"I have a bed here as well. Come on Harvey. Just leave it alone."

"I'm not going to leave it alone until you have been checked out."

Mike stared at him. He looked angry. "I don't want to go." He said.

Harvey felt anger surge in him. He knew what would get Mike to agree with him. It wasn't fair he realized after he had said it, but if it got Mike there, so what the hell?

"I don't care. You are going. And you are going to go there right now with me, or I'm calling an ambulance here and I will let them take you there."

– SUITS –

Harvey voice was hard and cold as he said the last part and Mike felt himself stiffen as the anger ebbed out of him. What? Was Harvey serious? He looked serious, dead serious in fact. Would he do that? Call and let them take him away? It felt like he couldn't breathe all of a sudden. Everything that he had been feeling just a second ago had died inside him, gone were the defiance, irritation and anger only sudden intense fear remained. It took hold of his whole being. He swallowed hard. He wanted to scream, to beg, to cry.

"Fine." He manage to get out. He had to act normal. Like he wasn't afraid.

"You want me to call an ambulance?" Harvey asked.

"No! No, fine as in I'll go, okay. I'll go. If you want me to go there I will."

"Good, I'm glad we agree." Harvey said shortly. "Let's go then, right now."

Mike couldn't meet his eyes. He just couldn't. He needed to get up now. Why wasn't Harvey helping him? He was just standing there waiting for him, when the whole reason for them to go to the hospital was that his balance was off.

"No ambulance." He said, or it was more like a question.

"No. Come on Mike."

"C-ca-can you…can you help me?" he whispered. He hated the way his voice sounded now. He wasn't sure Harvey had heard him, because he didn't move from where was, waiting at the end of the kitchen island. He pushed against the floor as he tried to stop from shaking. He bit his tongue. He didn't want Harvey to know how scared he was, he couldn't let him know.

"Sure." Harvey said then and stepped over to him, like he realized, remembered. He took a hold of Mike's arm and heaved him up. Everything was spinning and for a moment he was sure he was going to tip over again but Harvey steadied him. He didn't say anything just held on to him. He held too hard, it was hurting. It was because he basically was holding Mike upright by a grip around both of his arms. Mike wanted to tell him, but he didn't. Harvey was mad at him now, he couldn't make it worse.

"You good?" Harvey asked and Mike nodded. Harvey didn't wait, just dragged him beside him to the door, to the elevator and then to a waiting cab. Harvey didn't say a word to him during the ride to the hospital. Mike found himself sitting there staring down at his feet with his head turned away from Harvey as much as possible. His mind was racing. He felt close to tears but refused to let them fall. What if Harvey would actually leave him at the hospital? What if he didn't want to come with Mike inside? And what if…

When they got there Harvey told him to stay put until he came around and helped him out of the car. Mike swayed again and Harvey sighed. It wasn't his fault! He wanted to scream that in Harvey's ear. He kept quiet. Harvey was sick of him now. Harvey wanted to get rid of him. He was being difficult. A burden. If he just had told Harvey about feeling dizzy and unsteady when he stood or walked, maybe then this wouldn't have happened.

But Harvey led him inside. He spoke to a nurse, then to one of Mike's doctors and they were shown inside an exam room. They did test and asked him questions. It was the usual. When did it start? How many times did it happen? Any pain? Any other symptoms? Did it happen during any certain time?

He answer the best he could, but had a hard time focusing. His brain was occupied with something else. The question on whether he was going to be abandoned or not. Whether Harvey would leave or not? So far he had stayed. He had barely said anything though. He looked angry when Mike glanced up at him. That didn't bode well. It made Mike nervous. More nervous. One of his nurses put a hand on his arm to get his attention.

"How about the shaking Mike? Has that happened a lot lately?" she asked him.

"What?"

"You are trembling." She smiled kindly at him and stroke his arm a little. Mike just licked his lips and shook his head. He didn't know the answer to that. They had him to lie down after that and someone produced a blanket for him. He wanted to go home. He didn't dare to look at Harvey anymore, at least not meet his gaze. He stole glances at Harvey once in a while though. He was speaking to the doctors. It didn't even bother Mike that they spoke like that about him in hushed voices so that he couldn't hear them properly. He just felt so bad now. Insecure and vulnerable. Stupid and weak. And that damn shaking he was doing, he couldn't get it to stop.

They were told to wait after that. The nurse told Mike not to worry. He really wished that he could do as she said. Just stop. He wished he could sleep or something, anything to get away from the sudden tension between himself and Harvey. It was like Harvey didn't want to talk to him and Mike didn't want to say something wrong. He didn't want to make it worse. Right now he didn't know what could make the situation better so he chose to not say anything. Harvey sat on a plastic chair by the wall. He kept staring at the door. Not long passed before Harvey got up causing Mike to jerk a bit in surprise.

"This is taking too long." Harvey mumbled as he paced back and forth. "I'll see what's taking so long."

Mike felt his heart speed up as Harvey walked towards the door. No! This couldn't be happening. Not now. Harvey was going to leave him here now. He was going to walk out that door and Mike wouldn't know where he was. What if he never came back again? What if he didn't want Mike back home? Somewhere deep in his mind he knew these thoughts were irrational, that Harvey wouldn't do that to him, and that he was being stupid. But at the moment he was panicking.

"Please Harvey wait!" He called out. He had to at least try to stop him. He blinked and his eyes flooded over. He wiped it away, but more kept coming. Harvey had stopped though. Then he turned and came over and up to him. "Hey, Mike. What is it?"

Mike didn't know what to say. He opened and closed his mouth, he wanted to say something, anything but he didn't want to sound pathetic or weak or stupid. He didn't want to beg Harvey to stay.

"Is something wrong? Are you in pain?" Harvey asked. Shook his arm a little. "Mike!" Harvey sounded mad. Mike's chest stung. He couldn't be mad. Why was he mad? What had he done? He didn't understand.

"I'm not in pain." He stuttered.

"Then what?"

"Where are you going?"

"I told you, I was just going to go and check what's taking so long."

"Can't you stay?" Mike begged him tiredly. He was just so tired of feeling like this. Of being afraid. Why couldn't Harvey see that?

"I'm just going to find your doctor."

"No, you are leaving me here." He had tears in his eyes again. "You are going to leave."

Harvey shook his head a little. "No, I'm not Mike."

"Yes! You walk out. I'm alone. That's what leaving is!" He was shaking more now. Even his lips were trembling and he had to press them hard together to stop it. He tried the same with his hands by gripping the blanket in his fists.

"Yeah, okay. Okay." Harvey whispered as he nodded. "I get it Mike. I'm not walking out."

"Good." Mike couldn't look at him. He just couldn't. He bit his lip.

"What's wrong kid?" Harvey wanted to know.

"Are you angry?"

"What? At you?"

Mike nodded.

"I was worried." Was all Harvey said and Mike had to accept that. He could buy that. He felt bad, and didn't ask anything else. Harvey had been worried about him, not mad at him. Was that all? Because after all, Harvey had just stayed here after Mike had asked him to. He blinked tiredly a few times. He didn't get to say so much more because the door to his room opened.

"Hi Mike. I would like to talk to you a bit." One of his doctors and a nurse stepped into the room.

She proceeded to tell him that there was nothing serious going on with him at the moment. Except the heart cancer, Mike wanted to throw in.

"What is it then?" Harvey asked.

"Well, unfortunately this is one side effect of your illness, or the medication. We will look into adjusting it some and see what will happen."

"Just side effects?" Harvey asked.

The doctor proceeded with a more detailed explanation of which drugs that could cause nausea and dizziness. Mike zooned out after a minute as Harvey kept asking questions.

"Mike?" They had apparently figured out that he wasn't listening so he turned his attention towards them. "Like I was saying. As for now you will have to be a bit more careful."

Mike looked away again.

"There are steps we can take to make things easier on you. There are tools that can be provided for you. We suggest maybe hand rails or grab bars that can be installed around your apartment. You should also get a shower chair as it is a high risk of falling while showering. If you need it a walker might come in handy too."

Mike swallowed and didn't answer. He didn't look at them, he didn't want to talk about this. A walker and a shower chair? Like he was a ninety year old. Where they going to tell him that he was going to need diapers as well?

Apparently they sensed that he wasn't interested in listening because they sort of turned back to Harvey instead.

"There is also other things that can be done as well. If you have carpets it might be good to tape the edges to the floor. It might be good for you or his caretaker to stay close to him or help him when he walks."

Mike gritted his teeth together, willing them to stop talking. No such luck.

"Falls like the ones Mike is experiencing often happens while getting out of bed or up from a chair. Falling off the toilet is also a risk. You might want to accompany him…"

"Yes, thank you. I think I got it." Harvey interrupted and Mike was grateful. The doctor nodded and looked between them.

"Okay. Let me know if you have any further questions." Mike could tell that her eyes were lingering at him, but he didn't look up. "I'll leave you two alone for a while then." She nodded to her nurse and they left.

"Wow…okay." Harvey said and sat down. "That wasn't that bad though Mike."

"What do you mean not that bad?" Mike angrily said.

"I meant it's just side effects."

Mike didn't answer. He thought it was bad enough. Embarrassing is what it was. Humiliating. They wanted Harvey to tape his rugs, install grab bars and accompany him to his shower chair? No way Harvey would tape any rugs or go with him to the bathroom. Or Harvey probably would, but Mike didn't want him to!

It was all so messed up. He was just getting worse and worse now. First he got blind and now he wasn't going to be able to walk? He was going to be a burden to everyone around him, he was going to be needing more and more help. He knew that he was demanding so much from Harvey already. Keeping him from work, keeping him from ever going out, keeping him from his life basically. But Mike didn't have anyone else. He needed Harvey so much.

He was so tired of all of this. And he was scared. He was scared of getting worse. Scared of the day when he wouldn't be able to go to the bathroom by himself. What scared him most at the moment was that Harvey wouldn't want to be there anymore, be that person that Mike needed him to be. His everything. He was almost more scared of that then of dying. Because Mike had screwed up today, he had screwed up and gotten Harvey mad. What if he did that again?

He was breathing deeper. He was going to lose it. He could feel it coming and he wasn't going to be able to stop it. Not this time. That made him feel even worse. He still tried. It worked for like two minutes. Two minutes he could hold it in but then he couldn't anymore. Harvey was still there. He wasn't sure if he wanted Harvey to witness this or not. He felt tears gathering in his eyes and he tried so slow his breaths.

Oh god, he now he knew. He wanted Harvey to help him. Now! He wanted to stop feeling like this. He wanted Harvey to stop it. It felt like he was going to explode. That something was going to happen. Something had to happen because he couldn't continue feeling like this, it had to stop. He wanted to scream. So he just did. It wasn't a loud scream. He didn't have that in him.

"Mike, Mike, Mike!?" Harvey was there. "Mike, what is it? Kid?"

He couldn't.

"Mike, please. You got to talk to me kid. What is it?"

Mike just shook his head. He didn't know what to do.

"It's okay." Harvey grabbed his hand, and it was like he pushed a button because Mike let go then. Harvey was going to help. He wanted to help. Mike was pretty sure of that. So he just let everything he had inside him lose in the form of sobbing. He held on to Harvey's hand with all he had and covered his face with his other hand.

Then a nurse was there. Mike heard her asking what was wrong and he shook his head. "N-noo." He mumbled. He didn't want them here. He didn't want them to see him like this. Harvey was enough. He tightened his grip on Harvey's hand even more. "L-leave."

He heard Harvey quietly tell her that they were okay and that he would let her know if they needed help. Harvey must have pushed the call button. He felt himself shake with sobs. So far he was pretty quiet though.

"Mike, please talk to me. What's got you so upset?" Mike didn't know what to answer him.

"I don't…I don't want you to tape your rugs." He stuttered.

"What? Yeah, okay. I won't tape my damn rugs. Mike." Harvey was patting his arm. "Just so you know, you won't get any grab bars either."

Mike let out a wet laugh. And then he cried harder. He pulled at Harvey's hand and turned his body on the side towards Harvey. He just needed the contact. He wanted to be comforted and Harvey was all he got. All he wanted. He was prepared to ask for it now. He just wanted to feel better. Just a little bit better. If it just could ease up a little.

"Harvey, please." He pleaded and Harvey heard him. Mike could hear him come closer with the chair and Harvey leaned close to him and wrapped an arm around his back and pulled Mike a little towards him. Harvey was practically pressing himself against the bed, Mike didn't know how he managed, but he got Mike's head to press against his chest. Harvey leaned forward, almost over Mike, and he could feel how Harvey lightly rested his chin on Mike's shoulder.

It worked! That made him feel so much better in a way. Harvey was there. Around him. Covering him like a shield. Protecting him. Mike flung his arm out and pulled himself even closer to Harvey. If the older man were to move Mike would fall out of bed, he was close enough to the edge that Harvey was the only thing holding him on it.

"Don't let go." He whispered, pretty sure that there was no way that Harvey would have heard that.

"I won't. I won't let you go. Don't worry Mike. I got you."

Mike cried even harder. Louder. It almost hurt. He was making Harvey's shirt wet with tears and snot. It was a little hard to catch his breath, but he didn't care. He just couldn't stop now. He even cried a bit more because of it. He made several attempts to stop but he wasn't done apparently. He just wasn't ready to stop.

Harvey was saying things to him. Nice things. Things he wanted to hear, needed to hear.

"I'm here Mike. I'm not going to leave. No walking out. I'm right here." Harvey was stroking his back. Up and down. "You don't have to worry. We will get through this. We have so far. It will be okay."

More stroking. More nice words.

"We'll work something out Mike. You will be okay. I'm not leaving you here. I'm not walking out. It's going to be fine. We'll figure something out. You and me. We'll adapt to this like we have everything else."

Harvey hugged him closer to him. He was warm and solid. Someone to lean on. Mike's everything. He was starting to calm down. His sobs were not as loud, lower in intensity. Harvey was still holding on to him. Mike let go a bit of his grip of Harvey and opted to fist some of his shirt in in his hand instead.

He was incredibly tired. He needed to blow his nose. He tasted blood in his mouth. He must have bitten the inside of his lips. His throat hurt.

Harvey was still stroking him and holding his hand. Both of their hand's trapped between them this whole time. They were a bit sweaty.

A few minutes later he was drawing shuddering but slow breaths, still leaning against Harvey.

"Whenever you are ready." Harvey was saying quietly in his ear. It took Mike probably ten or even twenty more minutes before he was ready to let go. Harvey patently waited until Mike took the initiative to untangle himself a little from Harvey. Harvey helped to push him back a little. Mike couldn't look at him. His head was clearer, he was less panicked and the embarrassment were on its way.

How could he do something like this? He was an adult but behaving like a small child, breaking down completely without a reason. He didn't know how to act now. Why couldn't he just pass out?

This new feeling of guilt for behaving this way started to pull him down, again. No! He couldn't start again.

"Mike? Kid?" Harvey calmly asked. He was sitting upright now, but still had one arm on Mike's shoulder and one in Mike's hand.

"I want to sleep!" Mike hoarsely exclaimed. He barely had a voice.

"Yeah, you must be tired." Harvey said. "You can sleep if you like. That's fine. I'll stay right here."

Mike nodded a little. Harvey let go of him then. "Sorry! I'm sorry." Mike said, it was out of his mouth before he had time to register it.

"It's okay. I was just… it's okay Mike. You don't have to be sorry." Harvey had gotten some paper and he wiped Mike's newest tears away. "You look like shit." He whispered.

Harvey took his hand again. "Everything is okay. You can relax. No one is mad you. You're good."

Harvey was whispering. It was soothing. "Just close your eyes."

Mike looked up then. He looked into Harvey's eyes. And when he did he could tell that Harvey was speaking the truth. Harvey even smiled a little at him. He smiled even though he looked sad.

Mike nodded a little. He tried to breathe normally. Then he tried to close his eyes. It didn't feel good. He needed to open them again. He just needed to see if Harvey was still there. He was. Harvey squeezed his hand a little. Right, he had forgotten about that they were holding hands. He tried closing his eyes again. He felt himself tense and he tried desperately to relax. He tightened his grip of Harvey's hand. Forced out a deep breath. Another one. Yet another. He relaxed a little more. He still felt Harvey's hand in his. He was there. He wasn't going to leave him. He wasn't going to be alone in this. It was okay. Everything would be fine.

– SUITS –

Shit! Shit shit! Harvey didn't dare to move an inch. He tried to remain a relaxed grip on Mike's hand that gradually became limper in his own. He was sweating like crazy. Not just the hand. Everywhere. Mike had been destroyed. He had come close to push the call button a bunch of times just to have some back up. However he didn't do that. It wouldn't have helped much. Mike had probably been sedated, calmer faster. But Mike had wanted the nurse that came when it all started to leave, so Harvey had taken it upon himself to solve it.

Now it looked like it had worked. He was pretty sure that Mike was sleeping now. He really did look like shit. His face had a reddish tone, a bit swollen up from all the crying. Even in sleep he looked devastated. Or maybe that was just Harvey's imagination.

Harvey's heart was still beating like crazy where he sat rigid in his seat. He hadn't been prepared of Mike's breakdown. A small part of him wondered if it had been his fault. Had what he said at the condo caused Mike to lose it? Had the thought he had planted in Mike's head about letting the paramedics take him triggered all of this?

Maybe it had, maybe it hadn't. It was hard to follow the kids thought process. Something had caused Mike to break down though. Maybe it had been building up for some time and something that happened or was said that just tipped him over the edge.

Harvey had been really worried, almost extremely worried there in the beginning when Mike was crying so hard he could barely breathe. Harvey had been hugging him and felt every shake, every vibration Mike's body was making. It broke something in him. He just didn't want Mike to feel like that. He didn't want Mike to break apart like that.

He sat there for probably ten minutes, just waiting to see if Mike would wake up. But it seemed like he wouldn't and Harvey decided that it would be okay for him to relax a little. He lowered his shoulders and leaned back a little in the chair. He let out a deep breath. Suddenly it was tears in his eyes. Another breath, other tears. He allowed them to fall.

"Oh Mike." He whispered. He nodded a little to himself. This had really shaken him up. But that was okay. It wasn't so strange, he told himself. It had been kind of terrifying. The day had started okay, and now they were here. It was possible that they would have to stay the night now. When Mike had cried like that Harvey had been worried about his heart. But they were at the hospital, so if something had happened they would have gotten help.

Harvey thought that he had done quite a good job with keeping it together, with sounding calm and reassuring towards Mike. Mike had fallen asleep eventually.

That look Mike had given him had been difficult to experience. They had looked into each other's eyes for a long time and Harvey didn't know what Mike was searching for in his eyes, but apparently Harvey had passed the test because Mike calmed down.

A few minutes later the door quietly opened and the nurse from earlier came into the room.

"How is he doing?" she whispered as she walked over on the other side of the bed to check the machines Mike was connected to.

"Ehm…he was…upset." Harvey eventually said.

She nodded and adjusted something that Harvey couldn't see.

"His values are a bit high. His doctor should be by soon." She told Harvey and left soon after.

Mike's doctor checked Mike over without waking him. He didn't seem that concerned which eased Harvey's worries a bit. Mike slept a couple of hours after that. He woke up suddenly and Harvey jerked in surprise.

Mike blinked around looking scared. "Hi. It's okay, it's okay." Harvey tried.

Mike relaxed back in the pillows. He turned to look at Harvey. He didn't say anything.

"Do you feel better?"

Mike shrugged.

"Okay." Harvey said.

Silence. Mike slowly blinking. His mouth opened and closed as if he wanted to say something but changed his mind. Harvey patently waited.

"Can we go home?" Mike asked then. Harvey nodded. "Yeah, soon." Hopefully that was the truth.

It turned out that they could leave the same evening. Donna came and met them at the hospital and followed them home. Mike hadn't been much interested in talking and had mostly slept at the hospital. Harvey let him be. If Mike didn't want to talk he didn't have to. He refused to eat much of anything as well, and Harvey didn't have it in him to argue with him. He didn't think any of them had.

Harvey held on to Mike as they walked to his condo from the cab. Mike didn't complain.

"Look Mike," Harvey started when the kid was settled on his bed "I know today wasn't easy. I just want you to know that we are good, you and I." He waited for a response from Mike, who nodded slightly.

"That's good Harvey." He said after a minute. "Thank you for being there today." He then said, blushing a little.

"Sure. Do you want to tell me what was going on inside that head of yours?" He carefully asked. Mike thought the seam of his cover was very interesting.

"I was freaking out about everything." He eventually said. "I just couldn't take it. And when they told me stuff like that. Needing a chair in the shower and all. And you…" he stopped.

"I said things." Harvey helped him out.

"I knew you didn't mean it and that was only a small part of it Harvey. It's mostly the prospect of what lays ahead of me that scares the crap of me sometimes" Mike said. Harvey nodded thoughtfully. Truth was that was what scared the crap out of him as well.

"I get that, Mike." He said. "But like I have said a bunch of times Mike, we are a team. We'll stick together through it."

Mike smiled then. "Yeah I know. I just forgot for a second." He said.

Harvey nodded. "Sure." He rolled his eyes a little. And then got an idea. It was something Mike had wanted to do with him when Mike was new at the firm. That felt like ages ago. But now he stood up and closed his fist and held it out to Mike, who looked up at him like he was crazy. But then his face changed as he smiled and then bumped his own fist against Harvey's.

Donna came into the room just as they did that and she smiled approvingly at them.

The three of them talked until Mike fell asleep for the night.

The next day was better. Harvey got some work done. One of his clients had gotten himself into some trouble they demanded that Harvey would look into it which he said he would. He had also ordered a chair for the shower as well, it would arrive within the next few days. Mike could say whatever he wanted but Harvey wasn't going the take any chances.

Mike didn't say much at all that day. He was mostly sleeping. Harvey brought him medication and breakfast in bed that morning and had to wake him up for it. It was important that some of the meds were taken during set hours. Mike had blinked up at him, accepted the pills and some water and claimed he was tired, closed his eyes and were asleep again in seconds.

Harvey checked on him once in a while during the day. Mike just slept. Harvey woke him again during lunch to force him to eat something. He wasn't that successful. He had arranged Mike's bed so that he was sitting up. Mike fell asleep with his sandwich in hand.

"Seriously?" Harvey muttered as he contemplated whether he should wake Mike up again or not. Eventually he didn't, just put the sandwich back on the plate and lowered the kid's bed again. Mike didn't stir.

Harvey placed a call to Mike's doctor, just to check in. The other's advice was to let Mike sleep as much as possible. Mike needed it. Apparently that was true.

Mike slept on and off, Harvey checked on him now and then. He woke up once when Harvey was hanging out in his room. He was confused and claimed that he was cold.

"What's happening? Why am I so cold?" Mike asked and swatted at the blanket Harvey was trying to place over him.

"You were sleeping. And I don't know why you are cold, I'm trying to prevent that now Mike. Stop it."

"What are you doing?"

"This is a blanket." Harvey said and held it up so that he could see it.

"Oh." Mike said. He blinked stupidly for a minute as he let Harvey lay it over him.

"You want to sleep some more?"

Mike shook his head so Harvey raised the bed a bit for him so that he was sitting up. Harvey went back to his desk and his files. He heard how Mike activated his pillow and smiled to himself. Mike seemed to like that stupid thing.

"Do you need any help Harvey?" Mike asked a while later. Harvey raised an eyebrow at him.

"You want to help?"

"Yeah! I can take some files if you want."

Harvey nodded and handed him a few along with a marker. Mike raised his bed a bit further and opened the files. He actually lasted for about an hour before he passed out again. Harvey took the files from the kids' hands and saw that Mike had encircled something that turned out to actually be really helpful for his case.

Harvey got some bad news the next day. Or they weren't really bad news, it might just mean that bad thing could happen as a cause of it, and with bad things he meant that Mike would might feel bad. One of Harvey's clients demanded a personal meeting, he would be forced to take action, as the man put it. Harvey didn't like it one bit, but had been instructed by Jessica to make the meeting happen. The bad news was that Harvey would have to be forced to travel out of the city for at least two days.

Jessica had been understanding about the situation he was in with Mike, but she asked him to do this for the firm, and Harvey couldn't say no to this. He still had kind of a guilty conscious about neglecting work. He didn't mean to do it, it just happened when Mike needed him more. Harvey couldn't get out of this one with all parties satisfied.

Mike had been better lately. Sure he had been upset, tired and sick in general, but last night he was a bit better. He had talked to Donna about leaving for a while and she said right away that she would stay with Mike the whole time. She thought that Mike would be understanding. So it was decided that he would leave for Boston for two days.

Harvey still dreaded the talk he would have to have with Mike. He felt bad about it even though he knew things would be okay. While Mike probably would act like he was fine with it, but Harvey suspected that he wouldn't be. Mike had more energy today and was on the couch when Harvey approached him. Here it goes.

– SUITS –

I hope you like this chapter. Apparently it was time for another breakdown. I'm trying to slowly wrap this story up now. Might be five more chapters or it might be ten :P I don't know yet. But things are not lightening up for Mike. He is more fragile and is slowly getting worse even though he has some good days, better at least. I love your reviews! Thanks for reading!