Chapter 48.
Mike was on his usual spot on the couch when Harvey came and sat down in front of him. He had his iPad in his lap and was trying to watch a documentary on Netflix without falling asleep. He had thought it would be interesting enough for him to stay awake during the whole thing, but he wasn't sure anymore. He hit pause and looked over at Harvey.
"Look Mike, I have something that I need to talk to you about."
"Yeah, what?"
"I'm going away for a while."
"What?!" He immediately felt his chest twinge. Harvey couldn't go away! "What do you mean?"
"I need to go and make sure one of my clients doesn't do anything stupid. You know the one I told you about. He is worried that he is getting neglected and threatened to fire me if I don't go. I would like to ditch him but Jessica thinks he is valuably somehow."
Harvey stopped talking and looked at Mike, and Mike stared back. Without being aware of it he started to breath more heavily.
"For how long?" he just asked.
"Hopefully just one night, but most likely two."
"Two nights!"
"Mike calm down."
"Yes alright, but what about me?"
"I was getting to that." Harvey went up to him and sat down next to him on the couch. "Donna is going to be staying here until I'm back. I have already talked to her."
Mike let out a shuddering breath. He nodded slowly. "Yeah, okay. So Donna is okay with that?"
"Yes, she is. She's looking forward to it so I suggest you act excited."
Mike managed a smile. "Yeah okay." He repeated. "I guess that's fine. I don't think I have to act."
"Good." Harvey said and got up from the couch. Before Mike could stop himself he blurted out. "You are coming back right?" He briefly closed his eyes in embarrassment before he looked up at Harvey. He had stopped at the edge of the couch and looked at Mike with something unreadable in his eyes. He sat back down.
"Mike..." He started. "You know I will." It was force behind those words, and Mike felt comforted by them. Harvey seemed to hesitate then "Will you be alright?" he said. "Because I might be able to postpone it a few days, or I might be able to send Louis."
Mike shook his head. "No, I'll be fine. You can go. You said that they will fire you if you don't, so..."
"Donna is going to take care of you, you know." He patted Mike's arm.
"I know." Mike quietly answered. "So, when are you leaving."
"The day after tomorrow. I'm going to go to Boston and meet the client there."
"Okay." Mike didn't bother to ask for more details. He felt down, but tried not to show it for the rest of the evening. He didn't want to admit it to Harvey or to himself how he really felt about Harvey going away for a few days. It would be the longest time he would be separated from Harvey since he told the older man that he had cancer. He did not feel good about that at all, but it felt silly to say anything.
He was nervous though. What if something happened while Harvey was away? What if he got worse? What if he died? He shook his head. He had to stop thinking like that. He was feeling better now, that's why Harvey left. Harvey wouldn't leave if he thought that Mike needed him. And besides he had been doing pretty well lately. Well, except for the falling down episodes and freaking out at the hospital, but he had put that behind him now. He was okay.
The day Harvey was supposed to leave came too quickly for Mike's taste. He didn't feel prepared. It was stupid though, he tried to tell himself, it was two days. But still, anything could happen.
But what was nice was that Harvey seemed just as nervous as he was. It wasn't that he thought it was nice, just somewhat sweet maybe. Harvey would not like that though, if he knew Mike thought that he was sweet.
"You can call me any time, you know." Harvey was saying. "I'll have the phone on, I'll answer every time."
"Even if you are in a client meeting?" Mike tested him.
"Sure."
"Even if you are in court?"
"Harvey glared at him. He was on to what Mike was doing. "I'm not going to be in court." He said.
"Donna is going to be here soon. I'm just going to make the bed for her."
"What?"
"She is going to…" Harvey stopped to look at Mike. He saw that he was smirking. "Oh shut up!" He said and disappeared.
Mike watched in amusement as Harvey gave Donna a tour of the apartment when she arrived.
"I have been here before, Harvey." She eventually said. She still listened when Harvey went over every single medication that Mike needed and might have to take during the two days Harvey would be absent.
Harvey once again reassured Mike that if it was anything he could call. "I might be able to get an earlier flight." He said.
"Harvey, I'll be fine."
"Yes I know, but I just want to make sure that…"
"Seriously Harvey, you'll miss your flight."
"Yeah, fine. I'll talk to you later then."
They said good bye and Donna eventually ushered Harvey out the door. She came back and made herself comfortable on the couch next to Mike.
"God, is this what you have to deal with?" She exclaimed and waved towards the door.
Mike laughed. "He is just nervous. He hasn't been apart this long before."
Donna smiled but then asked how he was feeling. "I want you to talk to me Mike."
He promised her he would. The two of them had a nice morning. They watched a movie, Donna chose. Mike fell asleep half way into it, but Donna woke him for the end scene.
"You have to see this." She urged.
After lunch she asked if Mike wanted to take a walk outside. "We could go to the park. It'll be good for you."
Mike hesitated. "I don't know…"
"We'll take the wheelchair." She said and it was decided.
Mike found that he really enjoyed it, walking in the park with Donna, while having a conversation about different things not related to his illness. Donna was right too, the fresh air made him feel a little better, less tired.
Harvey called later and wanted to know if everything was alright. Mike said it was.
That evening his and Donna's conversation shifted over to the cancer. Mike confessed to Donna about how freaked out he could feel sometimes, and how frustrating it was dealing with all those feelings. She managed to reassure him some. She always knew what to say.
"Donna," he started. He wasn't sure he wanted to bring this up. "You know I have been thinking some. Chances are that I won't make it." He held up a hand to stop her from interrupting.
"What do you think will happen to Harvey if I don't? Do you think he will be okay?"
"Oh Mike…I don't even want to think about if that were to happen."
"I'm serious Donna."
"It will destroy him Mike, that's what I think will happen if you don't make it."
Mike sighed. "Yeah that's what I'm afraid of too."
Donna just watched him so he continued.
"It's just that what if I don't make it?"
"I can't talk about it with Harvey. If I try to bring it up he'll just say that it won't happen and that's the end of the discussion. It's like if he admits just for a second that it might happen he will consider it like he has given up on me, if you know what I mean?"
"I understand Mike. But you have to know how hard it is for Harvey to let his guard down and talk about this."
"But we have never talked about it."
"Have you considered that maybe if you talk about the possibility that you won't make it, Harvey will feel like he is giving up on you? If he were to talk about it he might be afraid that you will think he doesn't believe to a hundred percent that you are going to survive."
Mike nodded. He could understand what Donna was talking about.
"I'm not going to think that though, and if I die, I would never hold it against Harvey. Well I would be dead, but it won't be his fault. He can't think that can he?"
"He would certainly blame himself, think of what he could have done differently."
Mike nodded again. "We have never talked about the possibility. Donna, you'll look after him right, if I were to die. You'll make sure he will be okay?"
"Of course I will Mike." Donna quietly said and Mike felt grateful towards her, not only for reassuring him but for letting him say it and not "Good." He said. "Thank you."
"I'm here for whatever you want to talk about Mike."
They sat in silence for some time.
"What if I don't make it Donna?" Mike then said. "What if I can't?"
"Oh Mike." Donna stroke his arm. "You are strong."
"There is so much I haven't done yet, that I wanted to achieve. But sometimes I just don't think that I will be able to beat this. It's in my heart. I'm so tired sometimes."
"I understand that Mike. But as long as you fight and do your best, there is a chance and you know that."
"Yeah…it's just, what if I can't?" He felt tears coming now. Oh god, he didn't want to break down. "Are you guys going to be mad if can't?" He whispered.
"Mike, of course not. Of course we wouldn't. Never. Mike, never. How could you even think that?"
"No I know. It just that everyone keeps telling me that I have to keep fighting, but sometimes it's just really hard, and what if I can't?"
"Then we'll know that you did all you could. Don't worry about that sweetie."
"Yeah okay. Sorry for loading this on you."
"It's okay Mike, that's what I'm here for."
"Thank you Donna. It means a lot."
She hugged him and he hugged her back and they didn't talk much after that, Mike was content with that arrangement, and Donna seemed to be fine with it as well. She helped him to bed later and stayed with him until he fell asleep. She did so by laying on his bed next to him, holding his hand and stroking the top of it. They listened to music in silence and Mike felt really good. Safe.
He woke up with a jerk. He was alone. He blinked around him. He had been dreaming. He dreamt about Harvey leaving to never come back again. Of course he would dream that. His brain was crazy. But he couldn't sleep now. He wanted to wake Donna up. Could he? He just wanted her to comfort him, to tell him that everything was okay. To do what she had been doing before he fell asleep.
"Donna?" he said out into the room. Just once. If she came fine, if not he would deal with it as a damn adult man. Just forget it and go back to sleep. Why couldn't he just get to do that? Why was he like this? Why couldn't he control himself? Why was he feeling like this?
He couldn't answer one single of those questions. He couldn't do that. Not all by himself. Where was Donna? And where was Harvey!? Mike needed him here now. Why did he have to leave?
He fumbled for his phone, maybe he could just call Harvey? If he just got to Harvey, maybe it would be alright. Maybe he would feel better.
Harvey answered on the fifth signal.
"Mike? Are you okay?"
"Harvey." He breathed.
"Yeah I'm here. What's up Mike? Something wrong? It's late."
"I just wanted to talk to you."
"Now? Is something wrong? Is Donna there?"
"No, she isn't. I was.. I was dreaming."
"Oh, okay. You need to call Donna over then Mike."
"But I just wanted to talk to you."
"Okay. Sure." Harvey said. "About what?"
"What happened with the client?"
And Harvey told him. He told him everything, and Mike felt himself relax. If he closed his eyes it was like Mike was there.
Harvey was almost done with the story about his day when suddenly Mike's door was opened wider and Donna stepped inside his room. She didn't say anything just resumed her previous position.
"Did you call her?" Mike asked.
"What? No. I texted her. You should try and get some sleep Mike."
They hang up shortly after and Donna was there. He slept the rest of the night.
– SUITS –
Harvey had allowed himself to relax a bit on the plane. Somehow he liked flying, at least if he had the seat by the window. And this time he had.
It wasn't much he could do now, if something were to happen with Mike. Besides Donna was there and she would handle anything that came up.
He still texted her when he landed just to make sure.
He didn't have much time after that do much of anything else than keeping his client, an Aron Burfors, happy. They had a pretty urgent matter to take care of and it took up almost all the day. He called Mike after dinner and he sounded fine. He told Harvey that Donna had taken him on a stroll to the park.
Harvey was woken around two am from Mike's phone call. Mike's voice sounded small and scared. The kid didn't want to tell him that something was wrong, just claimed that he wanted to talk. Harvey had his suspensions though and texted Donna when he felt that Mike had no intentions of hanging up any time soon.
Harvey had trouble falling asleep after the call ended. He didn't like that fact that Mike had woken up like that and he hadn't been around. Had the kid been upset, alone, before he called? He really hoped not. He wanted to call Donna. He wanted to make sure everything was fine. He texted her but didn't get a reply. They were probably sleeping.
The day after turned out to be a long day as well. Donna answered his text in the morning and told him not to worry. Mike was fine. She promised to keep him updated. She kept her word of course and texted him a few times during the day. Apparently Mike wasn't having a good day. Donna wrote that he was sleeping a lot and complained a bit about chest pains. She couldn't get him out of bed.
Mike called him that afternoon. Harvey was just outside his client's office and stopped outside in a wide hallway.
"Can you talk?" Mike asked him.
Harvey glanced at his watched. "Yeah sure." He said, so what if he were a few minutes late.
"So how is it going?" Mike asked.
"It's going fine Mike. How are you?"
"Okay." Mike sounded tired. He spoke slowly and not very loud.
"Something on your mind?"
"I don't know. I was just thinking about you I guess."
"I've been thinking about you too." Harvey confessed. And when Mike didn't answer straight away Harvey proceeded with questioning him about his day. He needed to know if everything in fact was okay. He also asked about Donna and found out that she was cleaning up in the kitchen.
"She is so domestic. It's strange to see sometimes. And Harvey?" Mike lowered his voice.
"What?"
"I think she is wearing leggings." He whispered. Harvey laughed a little.
They finished the call a while later and Harvey was only about five minutes late to his meeting.
As soon as it was finished he gave a call to Donna that told him that Mike was asleep again and for him not to worry. Harvey did his best. The client was in a pretty big mess and it turned out that he needed to head to court the next day. That required some preparation which kept him busy most of the evening. He placed a call to Mike but he was quiet. The fourth time Harvey asked him he admitted that he was in pain.
Harvey started making suggestions on things that might help, but Mike just said that he was dealing with it. Harvey told him all about the case, but when he asked if Mike had any suggestions Mike didn't answer. Harvey proceeded to freak out a little and called Donna from his hotel phone.
"Oh. Wait." She said and then hang up on him! Harvey couldn't believe it and yelled a bit at her, even though he knew she wasn't there anymore.
"Harvey? Stop screaming." Donna was whispering from his cell phone this time. He did stop. He could hear her walking.
"What did you tell him? He fell asleep."
"I just told him about the case. Don't say it." He muttered. The case wasn't that boring, but apparently not interesting enough to keep Mike awake.
"Fine I won't."
"How is he?"
"A little better. It was pretty bad for a while, but he just took some pain meds. I hope they last the night."
Harvey felt reassured after the hang up and went to bed an hour later. He woke up a few times during the night and checked his phone each time. There were no calls from either Mike or Donna. He found himself thinking that he was going crazy. Was Mike all he could think about now? But so what if it was? He had the right to worry. The kid had heart cancer. Anything could happen at any time.
The next day he met the Aron Burfors at the man's office. So far they hadn't really been seeing eye to eye, the client wanted to take an unnecessary aggressive approach that Harvey for once didn't think was a good idea. Harvey worked on trying to convince him otherwise. He found that he didn't really had that much of a patience that he normally had. Today was the last day here, he would have to fix it before this evening when he had his return flight.
He didn't have much time to think about Mike during the rest of the day. They were scheduled to be at the court at four a clock. They had a lot to do and the only thought Harvey sent towards Mike was that it would have been great to have the kids mind involved in this.
"Harvey, are you sure you got it all figured out now?" Burfors asked him in the car on their way to court.
Harvey couldn't help but glare at him and shook his head. "I told you that already Aron, just let me handle this."
They were in the hallway when Mike called. Harvey hauled up his phone and swore silently. He needed to take it, but also couldn't be late. He turned to the client.
"Look, I need to take this."
"No you don't. We need to go inside."
"I'll be right behind you."
"Harvey, I'm paying you for this. You are going in with me."
"No, I'll see you inside." Harvey curtly said and turned his back against his client knowing it wouldn't be appreciated at all. "Hi Mike."
He could hear immediately hear on Mike's voice that something was wrong. Damn.
"I miss you." Mike was whispering in the phone. Harvey wasn't even sure that was what he had said, he was so quiet. Harvey closed his eyes for a few seconds, then found a bench close by and sat down.
"I miss you too kid." He lightly said. Mike was quiet on the other line. Harvey hoped he wasn't crying or something like that. The guilt was starting to eat at him. He shouldn't be here, he should be at home with the kid.
"You do?"
"Course. Mike, Donna is there right?"
"Yeah, she is. Don't worry."
"Really? You are telling me not to worry?"
"Yeah, I'm fine Harvey. I just felt like talking to you for a second."
"Only a second huh?"
"Yes, and I think it's up now." Mike said. "I should go."
"Mike…"
"No it's fine. I promise. I'm fine Harvey." Mike sounded sincere. "You are in court right? I shouldn't keep you any longer."
"It's fine. I don't care."
"God, what have I done to you?" Mike chuckled on the other end. "Go and kick some ass Harvey. I'll see you tonight." Harvey heard nothing after that. He looked at the phone. Mike had ended the call, just like that.
"Seriously?" Harvey muttered. "He just hangs up like that?" He looked up and saw a middle aged women how had stopped in the corridor and stared at him. He glared a bit at her until she started walking again. He thought for a moment of calling the kid back, but he pocketed his phone and went inside the court room. Mike was right. It was time to kick some ass.
-SUITS-
"Mike, sweetie. You should try to get up some. You have been in bed far too long now." Donna tried her best to get him involved with her. She thought it was a good idea if he got out of bed and moved around a little. He didn't really agree. He felt kind of down. He had a head ache, felt sweaty and achy. If he could just go back to sleep that would be great, but his chest hurt just a little too much for him to do so at the moment.
The headache kept him from doing much of anything except just laying there. He politely declined Donna's offer of helping him up.
"Where should I even go?" He asked her.
"A change of scenery might be nice. The couch maybe?" She suggested.
"Can I stay here?"
"Of course you can." She stroked his arm and told him she would be right back. He felt bad as soon as she stepped out of his room. Was she disappointed in him now? Maybe she was bored. He wasn't much company. Maybe he should make an effort and come with her to the couch? He decided he really should. He didn't need to lay here and feel sorry for himself. Of course it turned out to be a bad decision to try and get up.
When he sat up he got hit by a dizzy spell and reached out for the night table to steady himself, but missed and managed to face plant into it. He swore loudly as his face connected with the table and he stumbled onto the floor.
"Mike?" Donna called out for him and he heard her footsteps. "
"Oh god Mike, what did you do?" Donna rushed over to him. "Mike! Answer me, why would you get up?"
She somehow propped him up so that he was sitting against the bed. Her hands were all across his face. "Are you okay?" she asked.
He grabbed hold of her hands to stop her from pushing at the painful area of his cheek. "I'm fine." He said.
She shook her head a bit. "Okay. So I take it you changed your mind? Will you just let me help you to the couch then?" she asked and Mike agreed.
They made their way over there slowly and Mike dragged a blanket over himself. Donna didn't join him right away instead she went to the kitchen and returned with a something cold wrapped in a towel. She sat down close to him and put it over his cheek.
For a minute they just sat there together. The ice pack felt kind of nice, if he pushed it up a bit to cover a bit more of his face it help against the headache as well.
He made himself a bit more comfortable and leaned towards Donna. She put an arm around him and hugged him a big towards her.
"You know that's going to leave a bruise now right?" she scolded him.
Mike couldn't help but laugh a little. "Yeah, probably. I don't think that's my worst problem though."
"Oh Mike." she hugged him closer to her and held on to him. He could feel her shaking a bit.
"Donna? You okay?" he carefully asked.
"Shhh." Was all he got.
They sat like that. Mike felt warmed by her presence, it was really comforting. Totally worth a black eye. However he felt a bit troubled when she continued to shake. Was she crying? What had he done? He didn't know if he should acknowledge it or not. He patted her arm a bit and then let it be.
He felt touch at her display of emotion. Touch and he also felt stupid. He caused her to be upset, but it hadn't been on purpose. Sure he could have just stayed in bed until she came back, but he had a feeling that hadn't been the problem.
They sat like that for a long time, not talking. Donna calmed down pretty quickly, but didn't let him go and soon Mike closed his eyes and relaxed. He fell asleep a bit later.
When he woke up again he knew exactly why. Pain. Damn it. He hated that. His chest were on fire. It was just those kind of pains that didn't really want to go away until forever. Donna was still there and she jerked a bit when he said her name. She put the magazine she had been reading away.
As he had suspected it wasn't much that helped against the pain but he pretended to be better than he was for Donna's sake, but soon it was getting harder to hide it. To hide how shitty he was feeling just added to his stress. He was too warm and sweaty, felt uncomfortable and sore and couldn't find any way to position his body without it feeling like it was worse than before.
He wished that Harvey was there instead of Donna. He wouldn't have to care if Harvey was there. Then he would be able to curse this out as much as he liked. But he couldn't do that with Donna here, instead he forced himself to smile against her and tell her it was starting to feel a bit better. He lied straight to her face, and wasn't sure if she saw through him or not.
The pain forced him to lose the control he thought himself to have and it made him irritated. And he missed Harvey! Why wasn't he there? Mike needed him to be there, but he wasn't because he had other more important things to do. Mike couldn't care about Harvey's cases. Sure he had told Harvey that it was okay that he left, but it wasn't anymore.
Donna wanted him to eat something. She whined about him not having had breakfast or anything. He argued that he had but she said it didn't count. She had prepared an omelet for him that he did not want. Just the smell of it made him feel sick.
"Mike please, why don't you have just a few bites?"
"No Donna I already said no. Thank you but I'm not eating right now."
"How about I make you something else then?" She tried.
"No."
"Mike…" she sounded so sad.
"I'll eat later, okay?" He pleaded.
He thought she was going to keep arguing, but she didn't. Thankfully.
"When is Harvey going to be here?" He asked.
"Later this evening Mike. You know that."
"Why can't he get here now?"
"You want to call him?" Donna asked.
"Yeah."
Donna get him his phone and left to give him some privacy. As he waited for Harvey to pick up he started to get emotional. He suddenly really wanted Harvey to be there. And for the first minute of the conversation he had a hard time controlling his emotions. He even told Harvey he missed him. Only a tad embarrassing.
He felt better though after just hearing Harvey's voice, and he managed to get himself together pretty quickly. After all Harvey was going to be there in a few hours. He could wait. He had Donna as company. Maybe he should just try her omelet.
-SUITS-
Harvey was annoyed with himself, but more so with the client. They had been offered a generous deal if they settled, but Harvey hadn't really managed to convince the client that this was the best thing that they could get. However the other man was run by greed and wanted more. Once Harvey would have been able to understand his point of view and he would have been prepared to fight for it, but now his mind was otherwise occupied.
The client wanted to call his business partner to discuss the deal with him as well. He didn't care what Harvey said, and that pissed Harvey off. He knew that he was right, this was the best deal there was.
They had been arguing back and forth now and Harvey felt that his breaking point was close. He had a slight headache and just wanted this over with. The other man was stubborn and arrogant and had already decided that he was right and Harvey was wrong. It was stupid. Harvey argued but that didn't help much, it only fueled the client's irritation. This wasn't going in the direction that Harvey wanted. If he agreed to try and get another deal it would mean that he had to spend more time in Boston, and that wasn't an option. Mike was counting on him to be home tonight, and he was going to be there. He didn't think that the client had understood this.
"We are not getting anywhere." Harvey finally said. "You need to stop being stupid and make a decision."
"I have already made my decision Mr. Specter and we are going to wait with this offer because I need to talk this through with my partner. He will come by later tonight."
Harvey wanted to yell at him, but he managed to calm down enough to answer.
"But that would mean that we have to postpone it and hand it in tomorrow. It would mean that I have to stay here another night."
"Yeah? So, what's another night?" He asked.
"I've already told you that I can't do another night. I need to get back home…"
Burfors snarled when he interrupted him. "Yes of course, back to your damn personal reasons, that's where you're going with, isn't it?"
"You know what?" Harvey said angrily. He didn't care for the other man's tone at all. "It is! I need to be back tonight no matter what happens to your damn deal. I told you from the start that I had two days here and not a second more."
"That's bullshit! I'm paying you to do this and I don't appreciate your tone. Is this a waste of my money?" he was almost screaming and his face was taking on a reddish color." What could you possibly be the reason that demands you to be back in two days and not a second later." He continued.
"Fucking heart cancer, that's what." Harvey said then. He hadn't planned on reviling it, but he might as well just do it now. The comment about him not earning his money stuck with him.
"What? You have heart cancer?" the client looked at him in surprise.
"Of course I don't. Do you think I would be here if I had?"
"Then who? Mr. Specter?" The client wasn't screaming now. He sounded concerned. Harvey debated whether to answer or not, but did.
"It's Mike. My associate. You met him."
"Yeah your associate, I remember him. With the amazing memory?"
"Yeah. Him." Harvey sighed. "He doesn't have family so he's staying with me and I told him that I would be gone for two days and I'm going to keep my word to him."
The client was quite while he watched Harvey. Then he nodded.
"I'm sorry Harvey." He said. It was the first time he called Harvey by his first name, up until now he had insisted on being formal. He shook his head a little. "I didn't know what you were going through."
"Yeah, well…"
"If I had known I could have come to New York. Is he alone now then?" He asked and Harvey stared at him in surprise. Where were this compassion coming from?
"Ehm no, he isn't."
"Good, that's good. What are his chances?" the client carefully asked.
Harvey shook his head a little. "It's hard to say. He's been doing a little better lately."
The other man nodded. "Well, should we finish this up then so you will be able to get out of here on time? I'll… I'll just call my business partner now. We can do this over the phone."
Harvey just nodded and they went back to work. Imagine that it was that easy to change someone's thoughts about you, because he could feel that the other man looked at him in a different light now. After they were done and as they parted the client squeezed Harvey's shoulder and nodded a little. It was a gesture of understanding and compassion mixed into a silent touch.
The client had talked to his partner and to Harvey surprise they had went with his suggestions and the settlement had been accepted. Harvey didn't know if he had Mike and his illness to thank for that. He didn't want to think that it played a part in it, but suspected that it did.
It reminded him of Mike. The kid was always going on about caring about people and how good that was to do so, that you could get results from it. Maybe in this case it had turned out to be true. Harvey had showed himself vulnerable by telling his client about Mike and how he had promised to help him, it had resulted in that the client changed his mind and went in Harvey's direction.
He wasn't sure if he wanted Mike to know about this or not.
In the cab on his way to the airport he called the kid. Not to tell him about the case, he just wanted to see how he was doing. Mike hadn't sounded all that well the last time they spoke. However Mike didn't answer, and neither did Donna when he called her. He didn't think much about it, they were probably just busy. Maybe Mike was sleeping and Donna had put her phone on silent.
He called again when he waited to board his flight. Still no answer and this time it bothered him. Mike would be keeping his phone on, he would want to talk to Harvey. He had told Harvey that he missed him, so why wasn't he answering now? Donna didn't answer either. He texted both of them. He called again as he walked towards the plane after showing his boarding card. Same result.
The plane ride wasn't pleasant. He couldn't stop thinking about why the hell they didn't pick up their phones. That wasn't so hard, was it? His mind kept drifting to horrible scenarios that might have happened. Were they at the hospital?
As soon as he was off the plane he called again. Still no contact with Mike or Donna. He was starting to get angry with them. Anger suppressed worry. He decided to give Rachel a call and see if she knew anything about Mike and Donna's whereabouts. She didn't but offered to go to Harvey's place and check it out. He declined since he was home himself soon anyway.
He was in a cab on his way home. He kept hoping that it was nothing yet expecting something bad. He didn't know if he could ever leave again if something had happened. The not knowing was the worst. Why wouldn't they pick up?
-SUITS-
Mike shouldn't have eaten anything. That had been a mistake for sure. He groaned.
"Are you alright?" Donna asked him.
He didn't want to insult her cooking by telling her it had made him nauseated. He wasn't sure if she would be mad or not but right now he didn't want to risk anything.
"Kind of." He said. He could tell she didn't like that answer. However she didn't say anything about it.
"You have been sleeping for a few hours. Are you sure that you are doing okay sweetie?"
Donna sat down next to him on the edge of the couch. He laid her hand on his forehead and he couldn't get away. He groaned a bit again, but smiled.
"Don't be stupid." She said. "You do feel warm Mike. I want you to take some pills."
He didn't feel like putting anything in his mouth, but didn't fight her. There were something in her eyes that told him he shouldn't.
Mike didn't know how much time that passed. He felt off and disconnected. He wished that he knew what was going on. He wished that Harvey was there.
"What's happening?" He asked Donna. She was still sitting next to him on the edge. Close.
"Not much right now Mike. You want to drink some more?"
He didn't. She held up a bottle to his mouth anyway. It felt like the water was going to come up again when he had swallowed the last sip. He had to close his eyes for a while in order to concentrate to stop that from happening. He couldn't throw up while Donna was sitting there.
Suddenly something terrible cold and wet hit his face and his eyes flew open as he jerked back as much as he could.
"Sssh." Donna said and stroke his arm. "It's okay. It's just water." She said. He focused on her and saw that she held up a wet towel that she had used to wipe his face with. He didn't want her to do that. It was cold. He used his sleeve to dry his forehead.
"Stop." he begged her. He couldn't understand why she was doing that, or when she had gotten the towel. She had been sitting there all the time. Maybe he had passed out a bit? He wanted to sit up and did so. He surprised Donna who almost tumbled backwards onto the coffee table behind her.
"Mike? What are you doing? Do you want me to help you?"
He blinked up at her. Not sure what to answer. How would she be able to help him? Only the doctors could do help against the cancer growing inside him. And maybe Harvey. He and Harvey were a team.
"I'm fine." He said. It took a lot of energy to sit up, so he slumped back against the backrest. He looked around the condo and couldn't see Harvey anywhere. He had some vague memory of him leaving. Right, he was away with a client somewhere. He was going to come back today.
"You are not fine." Donna said. "You have a fever. I think it's pretty high Mike. I don't like the way it spiked, in only a few hours."
"What?"
"The pills you took should probably help. Do you want to drink some more? It's good for you."
He didn't want to drink. Couldn't she understand that drinking made him more nauseous? He was going to throw up. He needed the bathroom. He heaved himself up again and made it up on shaky legs. Donna was saying something and followed him as he stumbled over to the bathroom. She even followed him inside.
His knees hit the ground hard but he didn't care he was too busy with expelling his lunch. He hated this. He couldn't control it. He gagged. It tasted so bad.
Again. It was gross. Donna stroked his back and his shirt stuck to it. His arms trembled as he held himself against the toilet seat.
Donna was there with a glass of cold water as he was done. He rinsed his mouth and spit it out. He wasn't going to swallow anything else today. He wasn't going to take the risk. His arms were weak and shook from the effort of holding his weight up and the other holding the glass. Luckily Donna took it before he dropped it and he sank down on the floor right where he was. He was going to stay here now.
"Let's get back to the couch, that can't be comfortable. Not to talk about hygienic." Donna said behind him. He shook his head a little, to the side as much as he could with his face pressed against floor.
He could hear her flushing the toilet next to him and hear her moving around.
"Mike, come on. We should really get you off the floor." Donna tried. "I'll help you."
"No! I can't!" he exclaimed louder than he thought. He didn't want to move. He wasn't going to. It didn't matter where he was, he could stay right here. He was going to feel like crap wherever he was. "I'm staying here." He stated just to make sure. The coolness of the floor beneath him felt like a relief. It was hard though.
"You can't stay on the floor Mike." Donna tried.
"Yes, I can. It's fine." He argued. Couldn't she see that he already was on the floor and that it was going fine?
He closed his eyes. Donna asked if he needed anything. He moved his head again. Not as much this time. Everything felt like it was spinning even though his eyes were tightly shut.
He was so cold. He didn't know how long he had been here. Where was here? All he knew was that it was cold. He should open his eyes. When had he closed them? He must have fallen asleep.
If he just opened his eyes then he would know where he was. It was just so hard. He managed though. He was in the bathroom. Harvey's bathroom, he could recognize the tiles. Where was Harvey then? Hadn't he been here? He couldn't remember. He was laying on the floor on his stomach. Some time must have passed because his body felt stiff from its position on the hard floor. He had trouble remembering why he was here. He felt so confused.
Something was draped over his back, but he didn't know what. It wasn't enough. He was freezing and nobody cared. Where was Harvey? He felt so confused. He wanted to say something but didn't know what. It was then that he noticed that someone was stroking his back and someone was talking to him. It kind of scared him that he hadn't noticed that earlier. It was hard to distinguish any words. It was just noise.
He heard a bit of commotion from somewhere outside. Doors slamming. Harvey's voice. Harvey's voice next to him. Hands on his back, trying to turn him. He resisted. He didn't want to move. He didn't want them to touch him. He tried to shake them away. He thought that he screamed. He didn't know.
"What? Mike? Mike can you answer me? What's wrong with him?" Harvey was talking to someone else about him. Oh, that's right, Donna was there. He didn't know how he had forgotten that she was there as well. It was kind of weird that they were all in the bathroom together. He wanted to turn his head and look up at them, but he couldn't. Not right now, it was like he was frozen solid.
"I don't know Harvey. He needed to throw up and we ended up in here."
Harvey said something about calling and phones. Mike didn't understand what he meant, but Harvey sounded upset. It was hard to make sense of the words the others were saying. That scared him. He wanted them to stop.
"I couldn't leave him Harvey. His fever is too high. It just came out of nowhere. He wasn't aware of anything."
Why were she saying that? Aware? Harvey was answering something.
Everything was just too much. He couldn't understand. He wanted to scream some more. He wanted them to be quiet, because it was too much. A hand came back on his shoulder and he squirmed, trying to shake it off him. The touch didn't hurt but was uncomfortable and unwelcomed. His attempts to get it off him didn't work and the hand stayed on his back. He couldn't move away from it, couldn't get it off him!
He made a keening noise from the back of his throat, pretty much the only thing he could manage. He was trapped. They held him down now and wouldn't let him go. He was too weak to get away. He still tried.
Voices sounded over his head again. He shook. He didn't feel cold anymore. Not at all actually. It was the opposite. It was like his skin was burning. The weight on his shoulder moved. It traveled down along his back and then back up again to its original space. He tried to get away again and shuddered as it stroke him again. He flailed with his arms trying to heave himself up on his elbows and almost panicked as something closed around his wrist. He tried to pull his arm away, but it was stuck.
A deep voices spoke close to him. He whimpered, he was pretty sure he was crying as well but couldn't be sure. His face was wet at least. He tried to focus on the voice close to him, but there wasn't any words. Maybe his ears had stopped working? Why couldn't he understand it?
Time passed. Mike felt so bad and scared. He was panicked. He jerked and flailed, twisting. He didn't even know if he should try to get away, but it was just instinct, to get away. To run. Imagine how frustrating it was when he wasn't strong enough to do what his mind was screaming at him.
He did another attempt to get up on his elbows, but something was holding him down, lightly pushing him. The hands were on him still.
He had trouble breathing. Oh god, he was going to die! He let out a sob and let his body relax. He gave up. Another sob. The voice was there again. He tried to focus on it. He tried to calm his breathing. He was breathing so hard that he couldn't hear the voice. It was repeating the same thing, over and over. He listened. Calm down, that was what it was saying, again and again. Someone was telling him to calm down. He tried immediately, it was instinct too, to listen to that voice. Harvey's voice he realized. Harvey was there. Right?
It has to be Harvey. But that meant that the hands that were holding him, touching him were Harvey's as well. He didn't want those hands on him. They stopped him, they stung his skin. They restrained him. He tried to get his voice to work. Tried to form words. He made some kind of noise but it had no effect on the hands. They traveled up and down along his back.
Again the voice, calm down. He was trying!
"Let…let…let go." He managed to grunt out. He thought it was the right words. "Don't." He added. It worked! Thank god it worked! Nothing was touching him and relief flooded him. He sobbed a little. He wished he could get up. The floor was so hard and cold. It almost hurt laying like this. At least nothing was forcing or pressing him closer to it now. That was something.
He just felt so bad. His chest hurt a little as he tried to get air inside it. He clawed with his hand over it in an attempt to relieve some of the hurt. A hand enclosed his wrist and pulled his hand away. He screamed. He didn't know why.
"Mike!" Someone screamed his name. He knew that. Then the world was spinning as someone grabbed him and pushed him up and around and then down on his back. He groaned, but was lowered down on something soft. This felt better.
"Open your damn eyes." A voice said. Harvey. Mike had forgotten that he had been there. He did what Harvey wanted and recoiled a bit. Harvey's face was so close. He blinked a few times. He had to concentrate hard on focusing on Harvey.
"What is it Mike? What's going on? Please talk to me." Harvey said. Harvey sounded weird. Mike didn't know what to say. He didn't know what was going on!
"Are you in pain? Do you know who I am?"
Mike nodded a bit.
"What? You are in pain? Donna, where are the pills?"
The next minute he had two pills in front of him that Harvey wanted him to eat. He ignored them. Donna was there as well. Mike blinked towards her. She looked bad, her face pale and she had been crying. She was sitting on the floor by his shoulder. Harvey was on his other side. He was dressed in a suit and tie but his hair was a bit messy. Something wild were in his eyes.
"Are you with us now?" Harvey asked. "Mike, can you please just say something." Harvey's hand reached out towards him, but he stopped the motion and pulled his hand back again. He looked so worried.
"Mmm.." Mike mumbled. His eyes filled with tears. He didn't understand what was happening and suddenly he was so tired. He didn't want to be here. He wanted Harvey and Donna to fix it. He reached out for them both as tears trailed down his cheeks. They both took his hands.
"It's okay. It's all okay Mike. I'm here." Harvey told him. Mike believed him.
-SUITS-
Harvey had known something was wrong as soon as he opened the door to his condo. He could feel it in the air.
"Mike? Donna?" He called out and dropped his bag just inside the door.
"In here!" Donna's voice called. "Harvey, in here." There was a sense of urgency in her voice and Harvey rushed towards the bathroom. The sight that met him there immediately explained why neither Mike nor Donna had answered their phones. Mike was laying, shaking on his stomach next to the toilet. Donna was sitting next to him with a somewhat panicked expression on her face. Harvey didn't waste any time, just dove down on the other side of Mike.
He asked what was wrong but it was like Mike couldn't hear him, so he turned to Donna. She said Mike had gotten a fever. He hoped this wasn't anything else than a fever. Mike was hot to touch his skin sticky. He was laying on his stomach with his face turned towards Harvey. He was constantly moving, twisting around on the floor. His hands were grabbing air as if he was reaching for something. He didn't answer or give any indication that he could hear what Harvey was asking him.
Donna didn't think that he was in pain, she thought it was just the fever messing with Mike's head. Harvey really hoped that she was right. He stroke the kids back, trying to get him to understand that he was here now. Things were going to be fine. He felt doubt spread within him though as Mike whimpered beneath him. It was a terrible sound that cut into Harvey making him feel almost desperate. He didn't think Mike was aware he was making them.
"Calm down kid, calm down. It'll be okay." He told Mike and stroke his back sure that it would have a calming effect.
Mike kept jerking and waving with his limbs and Harvey lightly restrained him so that he wouldn't hurt himself against something. They were on the bathroom floor after all, the space was limited. Donna had made the best of the situation though, and practically all of Harvey's towels were on the floor. Some beneath Mike, others stuffed against the wall and counter next to the kid, some looked like they had been acting as a blanket.
Mike jerked underneath his hands and it was like he was trying to sit up which probably wasn't a good idea at all. Harvey lightly held him down on the floor, he couldn't let Mike hurt himself.
He exchanged a glance with Donna, but didn't say anything to her. She looked terrible with tears running down her face, but it was like she didn't notice it.
It was scary that Mike was so unresponsive. If he kept this up they would need to call an ambulance. He needed to get Mike to calm down. Harvey kept talking to Mike, repeating the same thing.
Harvey wasn't aware on how much time that passed. Mike's body was tense and trembled under his hand. The kid made another attempt to get up. Harvey stopped him. It was then that he could distinguish what Mike was saying. Mike was telling him to let him go!
Dread filled Harvey as he jerked away from the kid. Let go? What did he mean? Then he realized that Mike didn't want Harvey to touch him. Mike was crying and Harvey's heart bled for him. Poor kid. Mike didn't deserve this. But Mike expected him, Harvey, to have his back. He needed to help him. He decided to change tactic. He screamed Mike's name and a received a disapproving glare from Donna as Mike jerked away from him, but he just leaned forward and turned Mike on his back. The harsher tactic worked and Mike did what he was told as Harvey ordered him to open his eyes.
It was like Mike wasn't really there though. He didn't want any medication, or he didn't know it was there. But for a moment he locked eyes with Harvey, and the older man was sure of that Mike now knew that he was there. Mike started crying and his hands reached out for them. Harvey didn't hesitated at all as he took Mike's hand in his. Donna did the same.
They sat like that while Mike gradually calmed down a bit more.
"Do you want me to take you back to your bed?" Harvey asked as he thought that Mike was looking at him. The kid blinked slowly up at him. "Let's just do that." Harvey nodded at him. He nodded towards Donna that nodded back and disappeared out of the room for a minute or two.
"All set." She said when she got back.
Mike blinked tiredly. Harvey didn't even bother asking him if he could walk or not. With Donna's assistantence he managed to carry Mike to his bed. Thankfully Mike stayed still but tense as they walked from the bathroom to Mike's room.
Mike was trembling so Harvey covered him with a blanket. Mike was asleep within in five minutes. He looked much better now, than when he first had gotten home.
He left the door wide open and when in search for Donna. She was in the bathroom cleaning up.
"He's asleep." He said. She looked up at him and dropped the towel in her and took the three necessary steps to be at Harvey's side. She surprised him by hugging him. He patted her back a little, breathing in her hair.
"He's okay now. He's sleeping. You did good." He whispered in her ear.
-SUITS-
Hej everybody! Sorry for the long wait with this chapter. A lot going on for me now, and this chapter was a bit hard to write. I got a bit stuck. But it got extra long now, so I hope you enjoyed that and didn't think it was too slow. I think I can post the next chapter sooner. I have already written some of it. It's going to be scary.
Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading and reviewing 3