CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: The Fourteenth Tuesday, We Say Goodbye

From the second I first drove up to House's last summer, I had dreaded this day. This day when House and I would say goodbye. Forever.

The whole way over I tried not to think about it, but it was harder than anything I've ever had to do. I passed the coffee shop where we had run in the rain together and the picturesque, little park where we'd take our strolls. Everything reminded me of the great times we shared together, and I couldn't bare the thought of our friendship ending. But I knew that today was the day it would.

I parked my car on the side of the street and stared at House's house. I willed my hand to open the car door, but it wouldn't cooperate. I looked at it, hanging mid-air, reaching for the handle, trembling. I closed my eyes tightly, although I don't know why I did so. Fear? Denial? I wasn't sure. But I knew that instead of sitting idly in the car, I should've been hastening to House's room. Who knew how much time was left?

With that thought in mind, I ran up to House's door and let myself in. I knocked on the door of his room.

"Chase…" House said weakly from inside.
I walked in. He looked terrible. It was surprising, seeing as how perfectly good he looked last week.

"House," I started, not knowing what to say. "Today is the day, isn't it?"

"The day you were supposed to have started your period? No, that was last week. You haven't had it?" House questioned mockingly. "You might be pregnant. Oh. My. God."

Tears started cascading down my cheeks.

House said, "Wow, you MUST be pregnant."
"House, how can you joke at a time like this?" I asked through my weeping.

House's countenance suddenly became solemn and…worried? I had rarely seen House worried. He was always so sure of himself that he needn't ever be worried. "I just…I guess I'm in denial."

"So was I when I was coming here, but we both know what is going to happen. We've known for months."

"I know. I guess it's time to face the music," he replied. "Chase, I wanted to tell you I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For always being kind of hard on you back in the day. I didn't mean to ever discourage you. I thought it was for the best. I just saw how much potential you had as a doctor and as a person, and I thought you needed a little push in the right direction," House answered.

"Don't ever be sorry. You didn't discourage me. You made me work that much harder, because you were right. I needed a push. I needed your guidance and at times, your criticisms and discipline. How else would I have learned anything?"

House smiled. "You know you were always my favorite docling."
"Really? I always thought you liked Cameron and Foreman better than me," I said.

House shook his head. "No way. Cameron, she was sweet. Foreman, he was smart. But you were all of the above and more."

Suddenly, I ran over to House and wrapped my arms around him. I went into hysterics. "House, House, don't leave me please. Please, House, don't leave me. I'll never be happy without you. Please…"

"Chase, Chase," House tried to calm me down. "You're going to be okay."
I shook my head, my face soaked in tears. "No, no, I won't be. I'm nothing without you. Please, don't leave me. I'm begging you."

"Chase, you know I have to. I don't have a choice. If I could stay, I would, you know that, but…"

"But House, what am I going to do? What? I can't live…I can't…" I stuttered. "You are the only source of whatever happiness I have. Coming and seeing you each week is the only thing that's held me back from committing suicide. And believe me, I have been so close so many times."

A tear went down House's cheek. "You are going to survive without me."

"No…"

"Yes, you are. And you are going to be successful and happy," House said, his voice feeble. "You are a wonderful person, with or without me."

I tried to breathe through my whimpers. "How can you say that? You've made me who I am today."

"And you have done the same to me. I would be dying here, miserable, self-loathing, regretful, and alone if not for you. Instead, I feel proud of my existence, content in my life's end, knowing that I helped raise a man who has made me more proud, happy, and loved than anyone else could."

"House, you don't know how much I love you," I said.

"What are you going to tell me next? That you're obsessed with shoes and watch soap operas?" House remarked. "Oh, wait. That sounds like me."

I laughed, wiping tears from my eyes. "I love you too, Chase," House said, his eyes closing, his arms going limp. "Goodbye, son."

"Goodbye, Daddy."

I watched him for some time, somehow hoping he wasn't really gone. He was.

That night when I arrived home, I went straight to my room. I cried myself to sleep, hugging House's old teddy bear tightly in my hands.