Beating the odds

by LioSky

Something was going on with Mike, and it wasn't anything good. He felt it, and Harvey had noticed it. It was not like it was the first time either. But this time it was nothing that either of them could control. As it turns out Mike is sick, really sick. He is going to need help, and a lot of it.

52. Chapter 52 - Adam

Chapter 52.

It was a long morning for Harvey. Mike woke up again around 8:30 and Harvey gave him his meds. He was groggy and still tired. It took almost ten minutes for Mike to get all of the pills into him. He said his throat were dry and that it hurt to swallow. Drinking water didn't help, that hurt too. This also stopped Mike from wanting to eat anything at all, which was bad. Mike needed to eat since he didn't have an IV anymore, he told Mike this but he wasn't that interested in listening. He just laid there, the back of the bed risen a bit so that he could look out of the window.

Harvey brought him some yoghurt with blueberries in it and placed the bowl in Mike's lap.

"No…thanks." Mike just said and tried to push the bowl back into Harvey's hands. He wouldn't take it though.

"It's yoghurt, it shouldn't hurt to swallow that." He tried.

"I'm not hungry."

"Well…" Harvey started. He wasn't going to let this go.

"Please Harvey, do we have to argue? I just can't." Mike faintly begged him before he could say anything else though.

"No, we don't have to argue. You can just do what I ask you to."

Mike seemed to consider this for a minute. "Fine." He eventually whispered.

"I don't want to argue with you either. You know that, but you have to eat Mike. If you just try I'll leave you alone after that."

Mike bit his lip and miserably stared at the bowl. He closed his eyes for a moment before lifting the spoon to his mouth.

Harvey didn't speak as Mike slowly ate. He didn't comment either after Mike pressed the bowl towards him after only a few mouthfuls. At least this was something.

Donna arrived a while later when Mike slept again. She went in to his room and checked on him anyway. Harvey took a seat on the couch and waited for her to come back. He had the baby monitor in front of him. As he waited he felt his eyelids getting heavier and heavier.

"Harvey?" Donna's voice startled him awake. She was sitting across from him wearing a frown on her face.

"Did he keep you up?" She asked.

Harvey nodded and rubbed his face and then proceeded to tell her about the previous night. She listened in silence.

"You look exhausted." She said when he had finished. "But you did good Harvey."

"He is just so damn sick." Harvey exclaimed. "He wants me there at all times because he is afraid that he might die."

"I thought he was stable enough…"

"He is. Or at least they cleared him to be at home, but he is still freaking out, afraid that something will happen."

"Can you blame him?" Donna sighed.

"No, of course not. But I'm not sure this is working. I mean he had a panic attack just because I left the room. I don't know what to do to reassure him."

"I'm not so sure there is so much you can do Harvey, you are already doing everything you can."

"I think I need help though, Donna. I was thinking I should hire a nurse."

"What?" he added when he saw Donna's expression. She looked pleased.

"Oh nothing. I just think that is a really good idea."

"Yeah, yeah. I think it's worth a try. I'm not sure Mike will like it, but…"

"But he has to understand that you need the help."

"I'm not sure he will. He isn't exactly himself now a days."

"It's not really up to him though, Harvey."

"I guess not."

"He will understand, eventually. Do you want me to find a nurse for you then?"

"That'll be great Donna."

She smiled and nodded. "Why don't you go and sleep. I'll take your computer and stay with Mike."

Harvey did what he was told. It was sometime during the early hours this morning that he had decided that it was time to hire help. He really thought it would be a good idea. Because he wasn't going to be able to stay with Mike as much as the kid wanted. If he tried he would eventually collapse from exhaustion. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he knew that it was the truth. They couldn't go on like this. He wished that he would be able to take care of everything by himself but he had to be honest with himself and realize that this would be beneficial for both him and for Mike.

He couldn't help but think of the anxiety attack Mike had had. It had been because he was alone. It was a chance that that might happen again and if Mike got upset enough it could probably be the end of him, hell, he could get a heart attack or something. That couldn't happen. They had to do something different from now on because this was unsustainable, so hiring help was something that could work. That could help with the situation. And besides Mike's doctor had wanted him to do it and he had also said that he would hire help. So it was happening. He just hoped Mike would be okay with it.

-SUITS-

Last night was kind of blurry for Mike. The whole day were held in some kind of a daze. It had been a really bad day and he had once again lost control over himself and his emotions. Maybe that was why it was in a daze. His brain was trying to protect him from the embarrassment and humiliation of realizing how he had acted. In another life he would be freaking out for not recollecting every single moment of the previous day but now he was just grateful. Maybe it was a good thing not to remember for a change. Harvey probably remembered though because he was stayed close.

He really felt bad when he woke up that day. His eyes were dry and his throat hurt. He was worried he was getting a cold or something. It turned out that it got a bit better as time passed that day. He felt really down and totally exhausted, but at the same time slightly better than the day before. At least his chest didn't hurt.

Harvey made him eat as soon as he was awake. It hadn't been a pleasant experience trying to swallow whatever it was Harvey wanted him to eat. They didn't speak much about what had happened the night before but Harvey kept asking him if he felt okay. Harvey didn't leave him alone during that day and Mike was grateful for that as well. He noticed the looks that Harvey gave him once in a while. It was looks of concern.

"You know you can tell me if there is something that is bothering you." He said. "Or you can tell Donna, or anyone."

"I'm going to tell you." Mike had quietly said. And he would. He owed Harvey that. But it was hard though to talk about the constant fear that lingered in the back of his mind. It was always present now. He tried to tell himself that he was fine now. He wasn't going to die at any minute. He did his best in trying to convince himself of it. The longer he stayed fine and nothing happen the more it worked. He was gradually starting to relax a bit. Harvey also kept reassuring him that he was fine, that everything was okay. He wanted to believe that so badly.

It had now been two days since his pathetic panic attack were Harvey had been force to call an ambulance for him. He and Harvey had talked about it eventually. Mike had tried to explain but wasn't sure he had been that successful, however Harvey had said that he got it.

Mike hadn't had to be by himself though. Someone was always there with him. Mostly Harvey or Donna, but Rachel also stopped by a couple of hours on the second day. It was nice to see her again, even though he fell asleep about an hour into her visit. She was still there when he woke up though. He really liked when they kept him company. He felt much calmer from it. He was even okay with Harvey leaving the room for a few minutes now to go the bathroom or getting them something to eat. He didn't freak out. He wasn't going to do that again. He had been so stupid before.

He slept a lot now. He felt totally drained. He didn't have any energy at all to do much of anything. He couldn't sit up by himself! He could remain sitting for a while, but couldn't muster the strength to get up into a sitting position. Walking wasn't an option. He had managed to get to the bathroom but Harvey had to follow him in there. It made him wish just a little bit that he would fall into a coma or something and just wake up when his body was stronger.

On the afternoon of the third day Harvey stepped into his room after putting away his phone he had been on. He had been pacing around outside the door to Mike's room. Mike had tried to listen what he was talking about but Harvey hadn't spoken loud enough.

"Mike I wanted to talk to you about something." Harvey said as he walked up to the chair and sat down. He leaned forward so that Mike could see his face easier. Mike blinked up at him.

"About what?"

"Look buddy, I don't want you to take this the wrong way now."

"Okay…" Mike said hesitantly, as soon as Harvey said that he knew it was going to be something he didn't like.

"I have decided to hire someone to come and help us out."

"What?!"

"We are going to hire a nurse that will be here when needed to make sure that you are alright." Harvey said firmly.

Mike started to shake his head. "No, I don't need that. It's fine with just you and Donna." He watched how Harvey squirmed a little on the chair. Mike realized that he was uncomfortable.

"That's just it Mike." He said slowly. "It's not fine with just me and Donna. You are seriously ill right now. You need medical attention daily. You need someone to keep track of your medications, monitor your heart and you know, other things."

"I thought you were doing those things. I don't want…"

"But I do." Harvey interrupted him and sat straighter up. "It's not just for you Mike." He then said tiredly. He paused and shook his head a little, but then his face hardened into an expression Mike hadn't seen on the older man's face in a long time. It looked just like Harvey had looked at him before, before all the cancer. Before when he was just normal Mike and not this weak helpless person, but back when he was himself and had been working hard for what he believed was right and when he stood up for it and argued with Harvey he had gotten that look that now was on Harvey's face. It meant that this is how it is going to be. He was right because Harvey's next words confirmed it.

"It's either this or you have to go back to the hospital, Mike. This was one of the requirements that they had for letting you go home. And I happen to agree with it. Your health is too important for me to ignore that."

Mike swallowed and looked away from Harvey. A thought of clarity had just hit him and he couldn't believe himself that he hadn't thought of this sooner. Or he had thought about it, it was just that he didn't want to think about that this was hard for Harvey as well. Was he wearing Harvey out? He almost felt embarrassed when he thought of it. He always wanted Harvey around and Harvey complied with almost everything he asked of him now.

Harvey helped him with moving around, Harvey helped him with meals cooked for him, and he took him to the hospital. And Harvey stayed with him when he was worried or afraid, when he was scared of sleeping or when he woke from a nightmare, Harvey was there. Did Harvey get enough rest? Did he eat okay? Mike hadn't thought of it at all earlier. He was too busy with himself to think about Harvey. That wasn't fair. Sure he was the one with cancer and all, but Harvey did everything for him. Hell, he had even saved his life more than once.

But Harvey had never said anything about any of that. And Mike realized that he sort of thought of Harvey as some kind of superhuman. Or he had just expected him to be one. Harvey wasn't weak, he was the strongest person he knew. But maybe he wasn't invincible. Donna had told him that Harvey had passed out once when Mike himself had been unconscious at the hospital. Harvey must have a limit too of how much he could handle.

He looked up at Harvey now, he was just sitting there waiting for Mike to get there. He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"It would help you too?" Mike asked quietly.

"It would." Harvey nodded.

"Okay…" Mike said then. It wasn't like he couldn't say anything else now. He felt stupid and selfish.

"Oh, good." Harvey sighed. "Because Donna has already found someone. He is starting tomorrow."

"What?" Mike exclaimed. He couldn't stop himself. "Tomorrow!"

"Yeah, he is well recommended and good at what he does. He has worked with cancer patients before as well as with people with heart problems. For starters he will be here during the day a few days and some nights. We'll see how it goes from there."

"Eh okay, nights as well?"

"Yes." Harvey didn't elaborate.

"So it's a him?"

"Yes, it is. Do you have a problem with that?" Harvey didn't sound accusing, he just wanted to know.

"I guess not. But you don't?" Mike smirked.

"No." Harvey just said. "Donna thought it was best with someone that would be able to carry you."

"Great." Mike muttered feeling himself blush a bit as the smile was wiped from his face. "So what's his name then?" He asked just to get away from that subject.

"Ehm…" Harvey started.

"Seriously? You don't even know his name? And you are going to have this person work inside your home?"

"Yes I do, it's Adam. His name is Adam. See, I knew."

"But you don't know his last name do you?" Mike smirked.

"It didn't say on the name tag." Harvey grumbled.

Mike just shook his head at him. "Okay…" He said absentmindedly. He guessed that this wouldn't be the worst thing in the world after all. Maybe he was just selfish if he demanded Harvey to take care of him all by himself. But that didn't mean he looked forward to this. In fact it felt a bit humiliating. He had decided not to say anything about that though.

"So you have already met him then?" He asked instead.

"I did, yesterday when Rachel was here I went to see and speak to him. According to Donna he is the best she could find. He had good recommendations."

Mike rolled his eyes. "Okay." He muttered. He didn't like this at all, but had decided that he wouldn't complain about it. If this was what Harvey wanted, then fine.

The nurse arrived the next morning. He was laying in bed when he heard the door bell and Harvey going to let him in. He could hear them talking and walking towards his room.

Harvey stepped in first. "So, this is Mike." He said. "Mike, this is Adam Lindholm."

"Hi Mike, nice to meet you." The man stepped forward to shake Mike's hand. Mike embarrassingly enough had trouble lifting his arm high enough, so Adam just lifted it up, shook it and put it back down when they were finished. "I'm looking forward to working with you." He said and smiled.

Mike weakly smiled back. He should at least give the guy a chance.

Harvey went into a mode after that, explaining everything, telling Adam practically all he knew about Mike's cancer. Adam asked questions too, sometimes direction them to Mike, even though Harvey answered. Mike was fine with that. After that Harvey took Adam to show him everything in the rest of the condo. Mike couldn't help but feel like Harvey was introducing a baby sitter, showing him where the food was and all of the equipment in the house. The only difference between himself and a baby, Mike darkly thought was maybe all the medication and hospital visits Adam would need to keep track of, other than that it was pretty much the same.

That day Adam stayed for a few hours to return the next day. Harvey asked him what he thought about the guy and he said that he was okay. Harvey rolled his eyes at him when he didn't elaborate.

"I think it's going to be a good thing having him here." Harvey said and somehow that sentence made Mike want to cry, but instead he smiled and nodded.

They didn't really talk much more about the fact that Mike now had a personal nurse. The first few days it was a bit weird but he guessed he would get used to having Adam there. He tried not to think so much about what it meant. He just had to take one day at the time as usual.

Adam was a big guy that had a shaved head and a slightly ginger beard. He had tattoos along his muscular arms and he was always wearing a green hospital outfit, at least the shirt sometimes he forgot the pants, at least that was what he claimed. Next to Adam Harvey looked small and they looked so different that Mike had almost laughed the first time he saw them standing next to each other, Harvey in a suit and Adam in his scrubs. He had been a bit out of it then from strong pain killers, but still, Adam did look out of place. He was strong enough to carry Mike without much effort which turned out that he needed to do, only the second day he was with them.

"It's fine. I'll just help you out." He had said and grabbed a hold of his torso and his leg and lifted him over to the wheelchair. That was after Mike almost had fallen into him after trying to get off his bed.

Despite his looks Adam was surprisingly gently in his care of Mike. He was always light on hand and smiled a lot, he spoke in a calm melodic voice can he spoke a lot. Mike found that he liked that. However Adam also had a professional side to him and he never spoke a word about his personal life, not even when Mike asked. That annoyed him and it somehow made him feel more like any patient at a hospital than he would have liked. He was at home now and he would have wanted Adam to be more like a friend, more like Harvey was and not like a nurse. But the truth was that Adam was a nurse and he was just doing his job, and he didn't have any obligation to share his private life with Mike.

They didn't have that much in common either. Adam liked soccer of all things and would talk a lot about the sport. He claimed it was underappreciated in America and spoke about Champions league and about people such as Zlatan Ibrahimović or Bastian Schweinsteiger. He spoke just like he expected Mike to know who those people were. He did know who they were now, since Adam shoved him pictures on his phone and even read their Wikipedia-pages out loud for Mike, something that took almost three hours. Mike did fall asleep eventually.

But spending time with Adam wasn't the same thing as when Harvey was there and as the day's passed Mike came to treasure the times Adam wasn't there more and more.

He wasn't really doing well at the moment. He could feel it inside of him. It was almost like he physically could feel the cancer weakening and poisoning his heart as the days past. His dose of medication had been upped and it did affect him. He had trouble staying awake for longer periods of time and he had developed some kind of weird shaking. His whole body would tremble without him doing much of anything. He noticed it most in his arms and hands. He had trouble holding things or even gripping them. It scared him more than he let on because no matter what he did, he couldn't stop it. Adam told him it was nothing to worry about. But when he went for a hospital trip the next day Adam mentioned it to his doctor that did some extra test. Mike wasn't really aware of if anything was being done to stop it, if it was it didn't work.

The trembling made eating more difficult and it took a lot of energy out of him. The shaking made it embarrassingly hard to hit his mouth.

He was almost always in pain now as well. It was mostly his chest that bothered him, but also other parts of his body. One morning he woke up from his left leg hurting like crazy. He had to suppress a scream and just prayed for it to stop. Pain killers only helped a little and the pain left him totally drained and close to tears.

Both Harvey and Adam was in the room with him. Harvey was talking to him, but Mike found that his words didn't do shit to take the pain away.

"Let's try this." Adam had said and had climbed on top of his bed to be on his left side. With strong hands he then started to massage his leg. Mike wanted to tell him to stop but it was helping so he shut up and just closed his eyes and waited.

"It's just muscle cramps. They will pass." Adam said.

They did pass, but other things bothered Mike. His medication was adjusted yet again and IV had appeared in his room, he didn't even know when. Some days he was so drugged up that he didn't know what was going on around him. He didn't like that at all and one day he even fought Adam when he came with his usual medication.

Not every day were that bad though. He had good days too. Days when the medication was working and days when he was able to get out of bed and maybe join Harvey on the couch.

One of those good days when the nurse was there Adam came up to Mike on the couch and suggested that he would move to the bed. Mike refused. To his surprise Harvey spoke up.

"Just do what he says Mike. I have to head over to the office for a couple of hours any way."

Mike was fuming as he tried to storm out of the room. He tried to shrug Adam away where he was walking with a supporting hand around Mike's elbow.

"I can fucking walk." He snapped. And Adam held up his big hands and backed one step. But when Mike started walking again he could feel the other man close to him. He clenched his teeth and got to his bed, stubbornly turning his back towards the nurse. Adam wasn't faced by it at all though and just gently placed a blanket over him. It made Mike even angrier and he felt like a small child.

A few minutes later it all got worse by Harvey poking his head into the room and telling him to be a good boy and do what Adam told him and that he was leaving. He knew Harvey meant it as a joke, but Mike didn't appreciate it at all.

Was Harvey just dumping him on someone else now? Was this guy just here so that Harvey didn't need to be bothered with him? No, right? That wasn't it. Harvey wouldn't do that to him. But it was just that he didn't see much of Harvey whenever Adam was there. Maybe Harvey was relieved now. Happy not to have to bother so much with Mike. Instead he headed to the office and here Mike thought that Harvey wouldn't be working as much now when he was so ill.

Yesterday Adam came knocking on the door even before Mike was awake. Harvey had woken him up by shaking his shoulder a bit. Harvey just stood there above him and waited while he tried to figure out how to wake up and understand what was going on. To his embarrassment he had been drooling a bit on the pillow. What was that about? For a couple of minutes he hadn't been able to get his brain to focus on something else other than that until Harvey asked if he was okay.

He had groggily nodded then and maybe he had answered something, he wasn't sure.

"Adam is here Mike. He is in the kitchen making you something to eat. I'm heading off to the office for a bit." Harvey had told him next and before he knew it Harvey had been gone and Adam was sitting on a chair next to his bed with a tray of breakfast on the night stand next to him.

There was nothing wrong with Adam. At first it was almost like Mike had wanted it to be something wrong with the man, just so he could tell Harvey about that and he would throw him out. At a practically low moment his mind started making up plans on how he could sabotage for the nurse just to make that happen. Maybe if he skipped a few pills and got worse. But as soon as he had the thought he cursed himself. What was he doing? Was he that much of an idiot? Sometimes he thought that he was. No, he just had to accept the situation. But it was hard sometimes.

And that day Harvey had been gone until late. They barely spoke during the whole day. Mike had wanted to call him, but had fallen asleep before he could get his phone. He did sleep a lot now. Donna had stopped by for a couple of hours around lunch, but other than that Adam was his only company. It wasn't who he wanted.

-SUITS-

Harvey wasn't sure he had made the right choice. Deep down he knew he had because he had needed help with Mike and Mike's doctor had been pleased with his decision. He had spoken something about the possible benefits from having a constant care taker there. Routines were good for someone in Mike's positions. And now with Adam there it was possible for Mike to receive more treatments at home, which spared him from some of the hospital visits. They still went there a few times a week though.

Today Harvey was trying to focus on the e-mail he was supposed to write to a client. Mike and Adam's voices were distracting him though. Lately Mike had been doing a little bit worse, he was just a little bit weaker and it affected his mood. He was often in pain as well and the last few days he had taken to trembling almost like he was freezing. Harvey could tell every time he was hurting. He had a certain tight expression on his face and would constantly make small movements almost like he unconsciously tried to get away. Whenever the meds didn't work as they should the pain also effected Mike's mood. He easily got easily annoyed and would snap at both him and Adam. The next minute he would look close to tears and say that he was sorry. It was like anything could set him off, the smallest thing. Harvey knew that it was wrong but he found that he went to the office more often now.

Adam had turned out to be a great asset. Donna had also said that she thought she could notice a difference in Harvey. "You seem healthier." Had been her comment. And maybe that was true. He wasn't as stressed now. He trusted Adam with taking care of Mike, even though he had only been there about two weeks now.

Mike seemed to be fine with it as well. At least he hadn't said anything else about it, and Harvey hadn't asked. Maybe he was a coward not doing so. Was he afraid of what Mike might say?

"No, I don't want to eat." He could hear Mike's voice saying. He couldn't make out what Adam was answering him. He could only hear the man's voice as a low murmur. However he must have argued that Mike needed the energy or something because Mike's voice interrupted him.

"No I don't."

Harvey tried to focus again, but Mike's voice grew louder and he sounded more annoyed. Harvey typed a few sentences. He had taken on a low profile case. Not one of the normal cases he handled but it was something.

"No, I'm not. No I don't want you to." Mike snapped.

He typed another sentence.

"No. I don't want to. I don't want you here." Mike sounded more upset than annoyed now. Adam answered him something.

"I want Harvey to do it then." Mike exclaimed. Harvey removed his hands from the key board and sat up straighter in an effort to hear better. He really wanted to walk over there but the other day Adam had asked Harvey to not come running every time Mike called, because if he did, what was the point of him being there, he had said.

"Mike clearly prefer you in front of me, and if he notices that all he has to do is call for you for you to come running it will be hard for me to do my job and it will be worse for Mike at times when you won't be home, or can't come."

Harvey had argued, he had just had to, but Adam was right. It was a good thing if Mike trusted Adam. Harvey did spend a lot of time with the kid, but sometimes he took a needed break and Adam would be there instead.

"Harvey!" Mike was calling out for him now. He hesitated for only a moment before he walked over to the room.

"What's up?" He asked.

"Tell him to leave!" Mike exclaimed, red-faced. Harvey threw Adam a look.

"He is just trying to help you Mike."

"Well, I don't want him to help me. Just get out. Just leave me alone!" The last part directed towards the nurse.

"You will feel better if you eat something." Adam said and Harvey nodded.

"I don't want to eat!" Mike yelled making Harvey a bit annoyed at the behavior.

"You will anyway, and you will let Adam help you." He said and steeled himself at Mike's look of betrayal. Like expected it ended up with Mike yelling at him too and telling them to leave him alone. Adam got up to comply and with a last look at Mike Harvey followed his example.

Adam walked a head of Harvey and took a seat at the dining room table. He looked relaxed but when Harvey watched him he saw the bigger man's eyes wander back towards Mike's room now and again. Suddenly he looked up and saw that Harvey was watching him. He smiled and nodded towards the chair on the other side of the table. Harvey sat down on it.

"He's having a rough day today, but I bet he is hungry." The nurse said. "We'll just give him a few minutes to collect himself and calm down, then you could go to him and help him with his dinner. He didn't have any lunch today. Or he did, but he threw it up."

Harvey grimaced but nodded. Then he waited for about ten minutes before he deemed it appropriate to walk back into Mike's room again. They had respected his wishes to be alone, but he was just going to go and see if maybe Mike wanted his company now. Without Adam there.

The sight that met him when he stepped into the room was heartbreaking.

Mike had tried unsuccessfully to serve himself the plate of food. He had been trying to lift it down on his lap to eat it, but had failed to do so and had spilled what looked like half of the food down onto the bed. With trembling hands he was trying to get the food back onto the plate. His attention was on the plate and he didn't seem like he had noticed that tears of frustration were running down his cheeks. He froze when he noticed Harvey standing there, his mouth opening and closing.

"Let me." Harvey said and took a fork and managed to get the rest back onto the plate pretty quickly. Mike hadn't said anything, just watched Harvey with wide eyes. But when Harvey tried to take the plate from his hand and put it away to be able to get rid of the mess on the bed, Mike's grip tightened.

"Mike?" Harvey asked and watched how Mike's lips trembled along with the rest of him. He didn't let go of the plate though.

"I'm hungry. I am." Mike breathed. "I…I'm hungry. I want to eat it."

"Okay, I know but I was just going to heat it up again for you."

When Mike still didn't let go Harvey carefully pried Mike's finger away before leaving the room.

Mike looked relieved when Harvey came back with the plate, like he hadn't expected Harvey to do so. Sometimes he didn't get what was going on inside the kids head.

He put the plate down and sat on the chair. "Do you want me to help you?" He asked and waited.

Mike wouldn't meet his gaze but nodded after a moment, so Harvey settled with the plate in one hand and the fork in the other. When he brought the first bite up towards Mike's face his mouth remained shut and he leaned his head away.

"Come on." Harvey said kindly as he waited. Finally Mike complied and turned his head and opened his mouth.

"It's not a big deal. We have done this before. Sometimes you need a bit more help and then I will give it to you. And Donna will, and Adam. You have to let us." He spoke as Mike ate. The younger man didn't answer. Harvey helped him drink as well.

That night he sent Adam home early and spent the entire evening next to Mike.

As Mike was sleeping next to him he couldn't help but thinking about earlier today. It was the first time Mike had refused help from the nurse. Harvey could understand his reluctance though, he wouldn't want to be fed either. But the way he had found him later trying so hard just to manage such a simple task at eating, without success. Harvey could just imagine what that did to Mike's feeling of self-worth. It had to feel so humiliating. Sure Harvey had tried to make him feel okay, but he wasn't sure it was enough. That scared him too. If he just could get better.

He stayed in Mike's room for a long time that night. Mike still struggled with nightmares now and then and it didn't go many nights without Harvey having to calm him down. Mike would sometimes call out for him to just come and keep him company for a while. He said he couldn't sleep, or maybe he was in pain. It wasn't often he admitted that he was hurting, only when Harvey asked him directly. That was something at least.

Harvey suspected that he was scared as well, Mike must have noticed his own decline. Everyone who saw him noticed. Louis had stopped by one night and after Mike had fallen asleep on them after dinner Louis had turned to Harvey with a serious expression and carefully asked how long Mike had left. Harvey had just said that Mike was still hanging in there, because he was.

The next morning was just like most. Harvey woke Mike so that he could take his meds and eat breakfast. Mike had half a toast and some yoghurt.

"Adam is coming after lunch." Harvey told the younger man.

Mike groaned.

"He isn't that bad Mike." Harvey said and glanced at the kid. Mike frowned a little and glared at him. He opened his mouth but closed promptly again.

"You don't have anything to complain about, do you?"

Mike shrugged. "I guess not. He is cool." He said. He didn't look at Harvey.

"What is bothering you then?" Harvey asked calmly. He knew it was something. "Mike?"

"It's just that when he is here you are not." Mike said quietly after some time.

"Oh." Harvey just said. He didn't know what else to say. He couldn't help but feeling a bit touch at the same time as he felt guilty. Mike was right though, often when Adam was there Harvey kept out of the way. It wasn't intentionally, it just happened. And it felt a bit strange to watch the nurse work. He still wasn't used to having a stranger in his condo. Sometimes when Adam tended to Mike, checked his heart rate or something, Harvey would step out. Mike had noticed that of course. He would keep that in mind from now on.

That evening Harvey carefully made his way into Mike's bedroom. Mike was sleeping but looked restless. Before he left Adam had said that Mike had a fever. Harvey tried to gently lay down on his back next to Mike, however his movements wasn't as graceful as he would have liked and as he settled with his phone in his hands and opening his e-mail Mike stirred and blinked up at him.

"What are you doing?" he slurred.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Harvey asked and noticed how Mike regarded him for a long time without saying anything, blinking slowly.

"Answering e-mails." He finally said relaxing against his pillows.

"Damn right." Harvey muttered.

A moment later Mike's warm arm flopped down next to his own and he felt how Mike's hand rested against him. Mike just wanted to feel the connection between them, wanting to be reassured Harvey was there.

"I'm here." He mumbled and turned his attention back to his phone. "Right here. Go back to sleep."

Mike did do just that. Harvey spent about two hours there on the bed next to him, but after that the batteries on his phone started to go low. Mike shuddered and moaned a little in his sleep next to him.

It pained him to see Mike like this. It also scared him. Mike barely had the strength to do much of anything by himself anymore. Hell, he could barely eat by himself. Not that he wanted to eat much to begin with. What he did most was sleep. Mostly in his bed, but they also got him to the couch sometimes. And the other day Adam brought him out on the balcony. Adam had arranged for him to lay in one of the sun chairs Harvey had out there. The nurse had covered it in blankets and pillows and when he got Mike out there, just as many blankets ended up on Mike. He also had a scarf and a knitted hat on the kid making Mike barely visible.

"Some fresh air is always good." Adam had said before going to lay down on the chair next to the kid. Harvey had been watching them from inside the condo and smiled when Mike offered Adam a pillow. When he joined them thirty minutes later Mike was fast asleep and Adam looked pleased.

The nap in the fresh air seemed to have been doing him good because Mike was doing better that evening.

The next evening it was decided that Adam would stay overnight for the first time. Harvey had arranged for a small cot to be placed in Mike's room. He didn't know why he hadn't done that sooner. But when he had stayed in Mike's room during the night he had slept on Mike's bed. Mike wasn't happy about the whole thing.

"It's weird. Don't you think it's weird?" He whined.

"Would you rather he slept next to you?" Harvey asked, watching as Mike's face turned red.

"No." He muttered. "You're an idiot."

The next morning Mike was pale and quiet. Adam told Harvey he had had a nightmare the night before.

"Was it a bad one?" Harvey asked.

Adam nodded a bit. "I think so. He was pretty upset for a while." The other man hesitated.

"Did he ask for me?" Harvey asked, guessing the answer.

"He did."

"You can get me next time." Harvey said, ending the conversation there. It annoyed him that the nurse hadn't done that. If Mike asked for him he wanted to be there. He walked over to Mike's bedroom and closed the door behind him. Mike was awake, busy with staring up at the ceiling, but looked up in surprise when Harvey stepped inside. Harvey sat down on the bed.

"How are you feeling kid?" He asked. Mike just sighed and shrugged his shoulders a bit.

"I heard you had a nightmare." He then said and Mike nodded.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Mike wouldn't look at him now, but swallowed hard. Harvey reached out and took his hand in his. Mike grasped his hand tightly in his. It was trembling, Harvey didn't know the cause of it. They stayed like that for a while.

However Mike didn't say anything about last night and Harvey didn't push him. He went to the office for a bit while Mike was sleeping after lunch. Adam said it was fine.

It was after the third night of Adam staying over that Mike said something. It was more like he exploded. Harvey hadn't know he was healthy enough to yell like that.

The kid had woken up on the wrong side and was agitated and annoyed. Adam was there and Mike questioned everything the man did. Adam was listening to Mike's heart and needed Mike to stay still. He wasn't interested in doing so at all. Harvey heard how Adam asked him time after time. They kept at it, and Mike even debated taking his meds. Adam asked him a question and Mike was downright rude to him. Harvey decided to step in at that point.

"Mike, dial it down a bit would you. Are you listening to yourself?"

"No, I'm not, but neither is anyone else. So what's your point?"

"What's with you?"

"Nothing is with me, Harvey. Thanks for asking." Mike glared at him. Harvey just shook his head and walked out of the room. Mike was in a mood and things wouldn't get better if he argued with him.

Mike yelled after him. "Yeah, just walk away. I know you don't want to see me."

"Mike…" Adam tried.

"Yeah, just shut up and leave me alone."

"I have to finish this first, then I'll leave you alone."

"No, just leave me alone now."

"After I finish."

"No, get away from me! I don't want you here! Leave me the hell alone." Mike yelled and Harvey heard something fall to the floor. Adam tried to talk to him, but Mike wouldn't have it. He swore at him.

Adam came out from Mike's room after that. "I thought it best to give him some space." He said as he met Harvey's eyes.

"I'll talk to him." Harvey said.

Mike looked pissed when he stepped into his room. His face was red and he was breathing heavily.

"What the hell are you doing?" Harvey asked calmly.

"I thought you didn't want to see me."

"What are you talking about?"

"What do you think? You are just dumping me with him. All the time. You just want to get rid of me now, don't you? I bet you just came in here to tell me off!"

"Well, it sounded like you needed it."

"Screw you, Harvey."

"Mike, I think you should just be quiet and think before you speak."

"I have been quiet, because that's what you want right? And you hired him, just so you don't have to deal with me anymore."

Mike had tears in his eyes now, but he angrily wiped them away.

"You know that's not true." Harvey said.

"Do I?" Mike yelled and rubbed his chest. Half of Harvey wanted to yell back, the other half wanted to comfort the kid and wipe away that look he had on his face. The better half won, luckily.

He surprised Mike by sitting down on his bed. "I'm sorry if you don't, Mike." he said. Mike looked at him for a long time and then his eyes flooded over, and he bit back a sob.

"I wanted you to be here last night." He said. "But you weren't here. Only he was." He breathed deeply and coughed a little.

"I've told Adam, to get me if you asked for me."

"You didn't tell me that."

"Sorry." He put a hand on Mike's shoulder. "Adam isn't here because I want to get rid of you. He is just here to help us."

"Yeah, I know. I just miss you sometimes." He looked away.

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. If you need me, I'm here."

"Well, I need you." Mike looked up at him, and all Harvey could do was nod.

He spent the rest of the day visible to Mike. After a short nap the two of them had a longer conversation and Harvey understood that Mike felt a bit neglected by him. Mike knew that Harvey didn't mean anything by it, but he said that he felt like Harvey thought he was too much trouble now and had hired Adam to not have to be bothered as much with him. He said that he didn't think that was the case, it was just what it felt like for him, and he couldn't stop thinking about it.

Harvey was pretty sure he managed to convince Mike he thought wrong and that he was just not used to having someone else there with him and that he felt a bit uncomfortable when Adam worked. Mike had smirked and told him to get over it. Harvey promised to try.

-SUITS-

After his little outburst things had actually become a bit better. He had embarrassed himself again that day, especially since he was pretty sure Adam had heard every word. If he had he didn't show it.

Harvey did stay with him more after that. He was working hard on getting over the awkwardness or whatever he was feeling when Adam was there. Harvey had also made him promise to be more open to Adam, to give him a chance. Mike thought he had been doing that from the start, it just wasn't the same since Adam was getting paid from taking care of him.

After his latest hospital visit he had gotten some semi-good news. His latest test results wasn't totally terrible. He was doing slightly better than before. He still sucked at walking or moving, but his heart was still able to keep him alive, which was good news.

Harvey had gone with him to the hospital and he thought that the good news deserved a celebration. Mike didn't really agree since his doctor also had said that he still could get worse and die at any time. He didn't say it with those exact words but it was what he meant according to Mike. Harvey however, chose to not focus on that. Instead he invited Donna and Rachel over to the condo for dinner that night. He fell asleep on the couch leaning against Donna's arm. It was a pretty nice night after all.

Adam was giving him a hard time today, he kept going on about that they should go for a walk. Mike declined politely, but the nurse wouldn't let it go. Making Mike annoyed at the man. Why wouldn't he just let it go?

"What's the point?!" Mike eventually exclaimed. "I'm going to die anyway! No fresh air is going to change that!" he hadn't meant to say it, but when he did, he found that it felt good to say it. He didn't know what kind of reaction he had expected from Adam, and maybe the one he got shouldn't have surprised him.

"Yeah, is that right." He said. "Then why are you doing this huh? Why are you waking up getting out of bed every day, why do you take your medication, if you are dying anyway? Why are you just prolonging it?"

"What?" Mike breathed. "I…" He didn't how to respond. "I don't want to die." He ended and rolled his eyes.

"Clearly. That's why you do all of this. And that's why we will go for a walk as well."

"I guess we are." Mike muttered. So they did. Adam dressed him in about two layers too much but didn't care when Mike complained.

"I can barely walk like this." He said as he stumbled over to the wheelchair.

"Good thing you are not walking then." Adam said as they left the condo.

"Where are we going?" Mike asked when they had gotten two blocks away from Harvey's place.

"I don't know. Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know. I don't care. The park?"¨

"Oh come on, that's boring. Isn't it?"

Mike shrugged. It was actually kind of nice to be outside. He realized that he had missed it. He did his best with ignoring the people they past. He knew they were staring. They don't know what I'm going through, he thought, they don't know.

Suddenly Adam stopped outside a fancy building. "It's a museum, isn't it?" Adam said. "You want to head inside?"

"If you want to."

Adam didn't answer, just steered Mike towards the entrance. He stopped right outside looking up at the information sign on the wall.

"What the hell!" he swore, then excusing himself deeply to the woman with two children standing next to them. Mike smirked.

"It's just so expensive." Adam added to Mike when he was done. "I mean it's just some old house right?" He glanced back up at the sign. "I bet I can get us in for free." He whispered.

Mike frowned. "What are you talking about? It doesn't even look that interesting."

"I'll bet you 20 bucks."

Mike shook his head. "That's more than the entrance fee."

"You are a lawyer aren't you, you pay then."

"No, no. You're on. Let's do it." He didn't doubt that Adam would succeed, but he actually found this a bit amusing.

The entrance wasn't really handicap adapted so Adam had some trouble with the chair, getting it up the two steps. Mike offered stepping out of it.

"No, no, no. It's part of the plan sit tight."

Adam groaned loudly when they got inside, and wiping his face as if he was sweating. He placed Mike a short distance from the counter where two people were sitting to take the entrance fees from the visitors.

"That wasn't easy." He loudly complained. The woman behind the counter looked up and her eyes stopped on Mike in his chair.

"Oh." She said.

"Yeah, he is heavier than he looks. I had to carry him inside here."

"I'm sorry. But we do have a ramp, you should have just let us know, and we would have…"

"And what? Leave him alone outside? That's not possible."

"Oh..okay."

"But it's okay." Adam leaned closer. "I'll carry him twenty steps if I had too. This might be the last time he is outside, you know." He put on a sad face and looked over towards Mike. When the woman didn't see, he blinked at Mike.

"I'm sorry to hear that." She said looking worriedly at Mike. Adam subtly kicked him a bit on his leg. Mike jerked and stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

"I just wanted to see…this… before." He said in a small voice.

After that they had her and they didn't only get in for free, the woman also pressed a small book about the museum in Mike's hands offering to give them a free tour.

Adam shook her hand and politely declined and then steered Mike inside.

As soon as they were out of earshot Adam started laughing and Mike soon joined him.

"That was almost too easy." Adam chuckled. "You owe me 20 bucks."

"No way! I helped you. I'll give you half."

It turned out to be a pretty boring place and the exhibition didn't catch Mike's nor Adams interest and they ended up leaving after only twenty minutes.

"Got to give him his meds." Adam apologetically told the friendly worker as they passed her. She waved at Mike and when they got outside the ramp she had been talking about was laid out for them.

"Oh god, now I feel bad." Adam said as they started to walk back to the condo. Mike just laughed.

"I can die in peace now having seen that."

"Yes you can, my man." The nurse sniggered. "You can."

-SUITS-

Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I got kind of stuck on this chapter, but here you go. Let me know what you think! I love your reviews. I realize some of you thought that the last few chapters were a bit repetitive, so I hope this one is a bit different. I'm planing one more bad one for Mike (and maybe a bit repetitive as well :P), but then I want to change it a bit and start to finish the story. I have a few plans on how to do so, but I don't know how many chapters that will take me. Hope you are still reading and enjoying the story!