Excited voices met Harvey when he stepped inside his condo. Was that Mike laughing? He found himself just stopping to listen with a rising feeling of ease inside him. The fact that Mike was in a good mood was really good news because maybe then Harvey wouldn't have to feel guilty about not being home today. He couldn't help but be in a state of constant guilt whenever he left the apartment. Not that he did it a lot but it happened. Mike had expressed a dislike about it but they talked it over and Mike seemed to accept that Harvey would be away now and then.
Donna was of the opinion that this would be best for all of them, and to some extent Harvey agreed. Mike couldn't depend on him with everything. He would have to handle someone else's care as well. And now by the sound of it he did.
When Harvey stepped into the living room Mike was slouched down in a hoodie on the couch covered with two blankets. Adam was sitting in a chair that he had moved to the side so that he was closer to Mike. Harvey tried to not look for scratch marks on the floor. They were watching some of those ridiculous shows that Mike seemed to enjoy.
"Hi. What's up?" He greeted them and went to the kitchen.
"Hey!" Mike called out.
Adam got up and walked over to greet him. Harvey was told about which meds Mike had been taken and which that were left to take.
"He is probably going to be tired tonight. We went out a bit today."
"You did? Was that wise? He'll get sick. Sicker." Harvey said.
"It was great Harvey, we went to a museum." Mike answered in Adams place. Harvey saw how the two shared a look and both smirked.
"Really?" Harvey glanced at Adam. "Well I would like to be noticed in advance next time you think about going out when he is in this condition."
"Of course." The nurse answered.
"Come on Harvey!" Mike groaned. He still hadn't changed his position on the couch so he wasn't looking at them. "It was fun." Harvey could hear something in his voice that stopped him from discussing the fact that Mike and Adam had went outside while Mike was as weak as he was. He didn't want to be that person that pointed out the risk Mike had been exposed to. But Adam should know about those right? He must have deemed Mike well enough for a trip outside.
Adam left a while later and Harvey joined Mike on the couch with some take out, Mike refusing to eat much more than a couple of bites and was asleep before the movie they were watching ended.
Harvey studied his sleeping friend for a moment. The hood of Mike's sweater had slipped down a bit revealing his hairless head. However he looked a bit more alive than normal with rosy cheeks.
A few hours later he woke Mike to help him to bed. He had to shake him a bit for him to wake up, but he didn't complain when Harvey helped him to stand up and to get to the bathroom. Harvey let him sit on the toilet while he got Mike's meds and then gave him his toothbrush. They didn't speak, Harvey content with being quiet and Mike obviously too tired to do anything else then brush his teeth.
"You coming?" Harvey asked when they were done. Mike was just sitting there, slumped and leaning back against the seat.
"I don't think I can." Mike said.
"You can't stay here."
"I told you I can't." Mike wasn't looking up at him.
"You can at least try."
Mike shook his head and Harvey just nodded and went for the wheelchair. That was the better option. His back would suffer if he started carry Mike around, and besides Mike wouldn't want him to do that.
Mike sat stiff in the chair as Harvey pushed him inside his room.
"You okay?" Harvey asked him as they stopped in front of the bed. Mike only nodded a little but didn't move.
"Well, you feel a bit warm." Harvey told him as he heaved him out of the chair and onto the bed.
"Just a fever I guess." Mike mumbled and closed his eyes and pulled the cover over himself.
Harvey sighed. "You shouldn't have been outside today."
"It won't kill me. It was just some fresh air."
"It can kill you, you know that. It was stupid Mike."
"It's probably not even from that. Don't you know that you can't get sick just from being cold? Because you can't."
"You read that somewhere did you?" Harvey cleared some space on the night stand and connected Mike's phone to the charger. "You feel okay? No pain?"
"No."
"You're not in pain or you don't feel okay?"
"I feel okay, no pain."
"Alright. You call me if you get worse during the night."
"Okay." Mike's eyes were already closed but Harvey hesitated in the doorway. He watched how Mike's chest slowly moved up and down. He had one arm across his chest. Harvey shrugged a little and then went back into the room and sat down. After a minute or two Mike's eyes opened and he watched Harvey for a moment. He smiled a little.
"Good night." He then said.
"Good night Mike."
The next morning had Harvey wanting to say I told you so, to both Mike and Adam. Mike was clearly sick, as in he had a cold and fever. He did try to pretend that he was feeling fine but Harvey didn't buy it for a second. It was a pretty pathetic attempt and besides he had developed a cough that gave him away. Mike rolled his eyes at him when Harvey couldn't help himself with pointing it all out.
"I'm sick? What else is new?" He muttered and turned on his side on the couch, closing his eyes.
Mike slept a lot. Adam worked hard on getting him to eat something but Mike was stubborn. Harvey stayed at home that day but still managed to get some work done while Mike was passed out.
He also spent a couple of hours on the couch with Mike. Or at first they shared the couch but then Mike asked if he could lay down, so Harvey moved to a chair.
Harvey found himself watching Mike more than the movie he had put on. Was his breathing all right? What if that fever he had got worse? Mike had an appointment at the hospital tomorrow and Harvey was going with him. He dreaded it because he was afraid that they would be more bad news. Mike was stable at the moment, but they all knew that it could change in seconds. And Harvey just wanted a break for the both of them. Or maybe even some good news for a change.
Mike was breathing deeply with his mouth slightly open, probably because his nose was stuffed. He blinked slowly making Harvey think that he was about to fall asleep, but he didn't. He kept watching the movie, or at least looking at the screen. Harvey wasn't even sure if Mike was aware of which film they were watching.
Suddenly Mike's whole body jerked, startling Harvey, and he began to cough violently. He didn't stop which caused Harvey to get up and over to him and drag him upright.
"Hey, it's okay." He mumbled when Mike flailed with his arms towards his chest. Harvey sat down next to him and held him up as he lightly hit Mike's back, until the cough died down.
"Ow…that sucked." Mike groaned as he leaned back, totally spent.
"Yeah, I bet." Harvey went to get him a glass of water that Mike took and carefully drank.
"Thanks." He handed the glass back and Harvey saw how he rubbed at his chest. He went to get the pain killers as well then.
Later that night Mike didn't want to sleep. He told Harvey time and time again.
"Fine! I get it." Harvey eventually said. "You don't want to sleep."
It was a long night for both of them. Harvey got slightly irritated but then felt guilty for it. Mike's coughing seemed to get worse. It seemed like it was now preventing him from falling asleep. Nothing that they tried against it helped much.
The hospital visit the next day went without any problems except for Mike being grumpy for having to go. He underwent some test while Harvey waited. They spoke to Mike's doctor for a while as well. He thought it was too early still for Mike to take up chemotherapy again so they were going to wait with that.
"So you are just going to do nothing?" Mike had asked.
"Not nothing Mike. You are still on a heavy dose of medication and we are monitoring your heart closely to detect anything out of the ordinary. But right now that is all I want to do."
"Because I can't handle the chemo or what?"
"It wouldn't be advisable at the moment, no."
Mike shared a worried look with Harvey and the older man fought the urge to just get up and take Mike out of there to make that look go away.
"Besides Mike you also have a pretty high fever and you know how it is then. As soon as your values are better we'll look through our options on how to continue."
"Do we have other options than the chemo?" Harvey asked.
"We'll see." Was the only answer he got.
Later that afternoon Adam came over to start a night shift. Mike's coughing had gotten even worse by now and Adam had him taking some cough medicine.
"It taste like crap." Harvey could hear Mike complain.
"There is worse things than that." Adam said.
"Yeah, like what?"
"Oh I know tons of things. Like for example this medicine against worms in your stomach.."
"Okay, stop. I believe you."
Mike threw up two hours later. Harvey was called into Mike's room from the commotion to find Mike laying exhausted with something gross-looking next to him. Adam was wiping the bedsheets next to him.
"Why didn't you help him!?" Harvey found himself asking.
"I had no warning. I'm helping him now."
"Yeah but he threw up on himself. You should have prevented that. What were you doing?"
"Harvey…" Mike weakly said his name only to start coughing from it.
"Don't talk." Harvey squeezes his shoulder and Mike closed his eyes.
"I got him." Adam quietly said.
Harvey left without a word. He thought that was for the better. He didn't want to argue, especially not in front of Mike. But he couldn't help wanting to blame Adam.
-SUITS-
Mike felt lousy. Everything just sucked and he wanted to go back to sleep but Adam insisted that he changed clothes first. Probably a good thing to do since he had thrown up on what he was wearing now. But changing meant sitting up and he felt too nauseous for that.
"You know what man, it was probably the cough meds. They probably didn't mix well with your other meds. I'll make a note of that. We'll try something else."
"Okay."
"You still feel bad? I need you to sit up so that I can remove your shirt."
Mike repulsively swallowed and battled a sudden urge to start crying. He nodded a bit and started to sit up. He should just get it over with.
At least Adam was effective because he could soon lay down again. Adam gave him some water to rinse his mouth with and then sat down next to him on the chair Harvey used to sit in.
Somehow he couldn't get out of his head that Harvey somehow blamed him for getting sick. He knew it wasn't so, but still, Harvey wasn't there anymore now. He had seemed a bit annoyed earlier. Mike wished he would come back. He glanced towards the door. No Harvey.
Adam asked if he wanted to be read to and Mike said yes. He managed to fall asleep listening to Adams deep voice.
He woke from a violent coughing spell that just wouldn't stop. He couldn't breathe and felt dizzy. When he was somewhat aware again only Adam was there.
"What time is it?" He rasped.
"Half past eight. You should try and eat something. I'll get it for you. Any preferences?"
"No I can't eat."
"You are going to try." Adam decided for him. Mike just closed his eyes in defeat. Apparently it didn't matter what he said. He felt nauseous at the sight of the food that Adam brought. He tried to refuse but had nothing for it. It was just awful to have to force it down.
He threw up again, he slept, woke and felt sick and uncomfortable. He was coughing and felt so hot. He just wished for it all to stop. Harvey wasn't there either. Or at least he was pretty sure he hadn't seen Harvey there.
He asked Adam where he was, he asked Adam to bring him.
"Are you sure Mike? I think he is sleeping. It's little after one in the morning."
"Yes, I'm sure."
Adam nodded, but still didn't move. "What do you want him here for? I'll help you with whatever it is. Why don't we let him sleep for now Mike?" Adam said while patting his elbow and Mike wanted to cry again.
"But..." He started but stopped himself.
"It will be fine. You are okay Mike. Try and sleep."
He just wanted Harvey to make him feel better. He turned carefully on his side with his back against Adam. He heard the other man settle down in the chair again.
His self-esteem was crushed so low he didn't know what to do with himself at this point. He felt alone and confused. The familiar feeling of a dark hole growing inside him was back and it was nothing he could do to stop the dark thought from attacking his mind. Thoughts about his weaknesses, his faults and the burden he was putting on the people he loved. He wasn't capable of coping with those thoughts and he didn't think he could hold it in. But only Adam was there. No one else wanted to help him, and Adam just wouldn't get Harvey. For a moment he actually considered screaming, but that was just stupid. He couldn't do that.
He dragged a pillow closer to him and hugged him. His throat hurt as he coughed. He tried to not think, he tried to force himself to empty his mind and go to sleep. It didn't work at all. He felt his whole body shake at the next coughing fit. His throat burned. He cursed the damn coughing and waved Adam away when he tried to hand him a glass of water.
He broke at the next one. Just couldn't take it. He pressed the pillow against his face and let it out. He shrugged Adam's hands off him and cried harder. He ignored Adam's attempts to talk to him. He didn't care. He wasn't going to get any help from him anyway. Adam didn't care, not really. He was just there to stop him from dying, nothing else. Not like Harvey was. But Harvey didn't show up and Mike cried until he fell asleep.
That night was terrible. The coughing woke him up multiple times and every time he felt worse. Hated it. Wanted the pain gone.
He groaned when he woke up in the morning. Adam was there again.
"Hi, good morning Mike. I hope you are feeling better." He greeted him and tried to hand him a glass of water. Mike accepted it. He took a mouthful and swallowed it painfully. He had a really bad headache and his throat felt worse than before. Only a few minutes passed before he started coughing again. The pain mixed with his exhaustion brought tears to his eyes.
"Oh, I guess not man." Adam said. "I'll get your meds." He disappeared.
Mike just shook his head at Adam's tries to get him to take his medication. He couldn't do it right now. He had just woken up and nothing was better than the night before. It was worse.
Finally Harvey came.
"Oh, bad night?" He said as he saw Mike. Adam confirmed while Mike looked away from both of them. Then came the tirade about him having to take the medication. Mike ignored them, ignored it all. What could they do? Force them down his throat?
Apparently Harvey was prepared to try that, because he rose Mike's bed so that he was sitting up and then Harvey wanted to know what was wrong. Mike felt annoyed, Harvey hadn't been there yesterday. He should have been.
"Please Mike, just take the pills." Harvey asked.
"Fine!" He answered.
Every pill felt three times larger than normal and the second round he took almost dissolved in his mouth as he prepared to swallow. The whole time Harvey sat there beside his bed and encouraged him like nothing had happened. Mike bit his tongue not to cry. Every time he did swallow it hurt like hell, so did the damn coughing.
"Tell me what's wrong Mike." Harvey said.
"What isn't?" Mike retorted and Harvey sighed and nodded.
"Well, is it anything I can do?"
There was. "Stay."
"I can do that, kid. Adam is getting you some breakfast and then he is leaving for a few hours. He'll be here for tonight again."
Mike didn't bother with answering. He just leaned away from Harvey. Harvey stroked his arm a little.
Adam came with some yogurt and toast for breakfast and said goodbye shortly after. It was obviously Harvey's task to try and get him to eat. He flat out refused. Not like this. Later, he tried. Harvey nodded and let him be then.
It was a pretty awful day that followed. His throat was doing its best to kill him Mike decided. Nothing really helped much. Harvey had him try different things, both hot tea and ice cream. It helped a little but wasn't worth the pain to swallow.
He just laid there on his bed trying to wait it out. He tried to avoid both breathing and swallowing. He was very unsuccessful in doing that. After a particularly bad coughing fit he just felt like crying, so he did a bit, hiding behind his hands. Harvey who had been with him all morning tried to sooth him.
He had begged Harvey not to leave and slightly embarrassed himself again. But screw it he thought, it was worth it.
"I needed you last night too." He told Harvey. "You weren't there."
Harvey had apologized and told him that he would speak with Adam about it.
He managed to fall asleep around lunch when he woke up again, from coughing, Donna was there for a visit. She had brought some cough drops that didn't really help either. Only a little. However they tasted gross. Donna looked sad when he told her so he took another one anyway just to make her happier. She spent two hours holding his hand while laying next to him on his bed. It helped.
He was a mess though, he barely knew what he was doing or saying. He just wanted the coughing to end. He had cramps in his stomach after them as well. Harvey found that somewhat amusing.
"This is the only workout you have had in forever. Of course you get cramps." He said as he tried not so smile. Mike was not amused. He turned his back on Harvey and cried a little into a pillow as the next fit came. Harvey apologized and patted his back for probably half an hour after that.
He felt sad when Adam came again. It wasn't fair to the nurse but that meant that Harvey most likely would disappear. Mike thought he could sense some tension between the two men. At least from Harvey's side.
He didn't look forward to another night like the previous one.
It was first decided that he needed to eat something before going to sleep for the night. Harvey agreed with Adam, he needed some nutrition in him apparently. Eating was torturous. No one listen to him though when he tried to tell them that.
Harvey left while Adam was helping him. He said that he had a few calls to make. Donna had left him a few messages that he needed to respond to.
Something, eating or drinking caused him to have the worst coughing fit yet. He couldn't breathe and actually got scared. That pain was terrible as well, he wouldn't have been surprised if he had caused holes in his throat from coughing so violently. He even threw up from it. Everything was in a blur of constant coughing, throwing up and coughing some more. Harvey was there for a bit, then he was gone again. He was so exhausted when it finally died down that he practically passed out.
-SUITS-
It tore in Harvey to see Mike like this. It almost hurt in him as well as he helplessly watched Mike cough yet again. So far it had been a terrible day. Nothing they did seemed to help.
After a calm and collected phone call to the hospital Harvey was recommended some cough drops that were supposed to be strong and effective. He had called Donna and she had brought them with her and stayed a couple of hours with them. He could see on her how shocked she was to see Mike in the condition he now was in. She spent a long time next to Mike on his bed. It looked like Mike appreciated it. He appreciated that more than those cough drops she brought. He claimed that they tasted gross, making Harvey wanting to shove a few of them down his throat, at least just a little.
He just hated the feeling of being unable to do anything to help when he saw that Mike was suffering. It did something to him. It made him angry. He also could not help feeling angry at Adam for not coming to get him last night, after Mike told him about it.
The day passed slowly and Harvey couldn't concentrate on anything other than Mike. He really did try and help him. He tried to pull Mike's hands away from clawing at his throat which he did after a bad fit. He managed to stop him from scratching himself. Mike didn't even seem to notice what he was doing. He just pulled his hand out of Harvey's grip.
Harvey's heart broke a little when he had to sit there and watch how Mike turned away from him and pressed his face into a pillow, and his shoulders started shaking. Nothing Harvey said seemed to help. It was like Mike had searched for something to make it better but when he couldn't find it he just gave up.
Frustrated he sat there and listened to the muffled sounds Mike was making. This wasn't worthy. He remembered Mike's first time in a courtroom, how confident the kid had been then, knowing he was going to win. Mike didn't know that now. Harvey didn't think that Mike believed that he was going to win this fight. He almost shook himself were he sat, just thinking about it. He wanted to reach out and shake Mike and yell at him to fight harder, to not let the illness do this to him.
That wouldn't help at all though, he knew that. He did the other thing he thought was going to help more. He moved closer to be able to reach Mike's back. At every stroke he could feel Mike's ribs.
Sitting there he couldn't help but thinking that what if this was the beginning of the end. He hated himself for even having those kind of thoughts, but they just crept over him without him being able to stop it. And he knew that it was a real possibility, of course he knew that.
No, he had to think more positive. This that Mike was fighting now was just a cold. He just had a bad cough. A totally useless cold that just made Mike's existence so much harder. He was pretty sure that if Mike hadn't had cancer he would have been at work going through files and ignoring his coughing. And Harvey would have ignored it too. He would probably have given Mike shit about it, telling him to shut up or something. That wasn't the case now. Now Mike was laying here totally destroyed and he was crying because he was in pain. That wasn't fair. It shouldn't be like that.
Harvey believed it could have been avoided too. Mike shouldn't have been outside at all like he was with Adam the other day. What had the nurse been thinking?
When Adam arrived a while later Mike had managed to sleep some and was doing a bit better.
"Has he eaten anything?" Adam asked.
"Eh, no. Not much. He has been complaining about that his throat has been hurting so he wasn't really up for eating."
Adam nodded. "He probably should now then. I'll make him something." The nurse disappeared out in the kitchen and Harvey stayed with Mike. For a moment he wondered if it really fit into Adam's job description to cook for his patients.
Adam brought back yoghurt with berries in it for Mike. He started to arrange Mike's bed and Harvey felt like he was in the way.
"I'm not hungry." Mike rasped, his voice hoarse from all the coughing.
"I bet you aren't. I didn't get you that much. You can do it." Adam encouraged him and Harvey decided to excuse himself.
He was on the phone with Jessica when he was called back to Mike's room by what sounded like a really bad coughing fit. Harvey felt so sorry for Mike and also a bit scared when it made the kid throw up. He cursed to himself and handed Adam wet paper towel to wipe Mike's face with. Mike was breathing rapidly and didn't seem aware of anything that was going around him. Harvey left again after making sure Mike was out of danger. He found that he just didn't want to be in that room with Mike like this. He just couldn't right now.
He was tense and swallowed hard as he stepped out of the room. He walked over to the kitchen and pulled out a glass. He just needed a drink. Just one. He needed to calm down and feel some sort of normalcy for a change.
He was sitting by the kitchen island when Adam walked out of Mike's room.
"Harvey, Mike is asleep for now. He is doing slightly better." The nurse greeted him.
"You mean he has stopped coughing? Did he throw up again? Is that what you call better?"
"Yes, for now that has stopped." The nurse answered, not face by Harvey's tone. "Violent coughing like Mike's can sometimes cause you to throw up, however yesterday I think he threw up because of the cough medicine I was giving him. That seems to be out of his system now though." Adam smiled and somehow Harvey found that very annoying. What was so funny?
"So you gave him the wrong thing?"
"Well, I suspect that it didn't go well with the pills he is taking for lowering his blood pressure, there have been some problems with that one in other cases. But that's the reason I haven't been giving him anything else."
"Why would you give it to him in the first place if you knew there were side effects?" Harvey asked.
"I thought it was worth a try. That cough is really bothering him."
"Yeah, and whose fault is that?" Harvey muttered. He knew what he was doing, but it felt good. It was like he needed this. He needed to blame someone, to have someone to be angry at. He couldn't yell at the cancer.
"Excuse me?" Adam said.
"I wanted to ask you about something else as well." Harvey ignored his question. "Mike was pretty destroyed this morning. He said that he wanted me there last night. Why didn't you get me?"
Adam nodded. "Yes he was in a really bad condition last night, but we were handling it. Mike and I agreed to let you sleep. But he was really miserable from the coughing. I don't know how aware he was."
"Aware enough! I have promised him that if he needs me, I'll be there, so I can't have you denying him! You get that?"
Harvey glared at the other man. He felt so angry, he was barely keeping himself in check. But Adam just shrugged now.
"You hired me to be another set of hands so that you could get some rest. I'm just doing my job, Harvey. Mike is going through a rough time at the moment and I'm making sure he is as comfortable as possible."
Harvey clenched his fist. He did not agree.
"No, you know what?! He is not comfortable at all! He is a mess and that's your fault, you know that right! This is fucking your fault. He wouldn't be like this if you hadn't taken him outside. He got sick after that! You could have killed him! I should sue you for attempted murder!"
Adam just stood there in front of him, licking his lips and taking everything Harvey was throwing in his face. So Harvey kept at it.
"You did this to him. I want you out of my house! I don't want you here anymore and neither does Mike!"
"Harvey, think about this for a second, I'm here to help you. I'm here to help Mike."
"Some help you are."
"Mr. Specter, it was not at all my intention…"
Harvey interrupted him. "I'm not interested in your excuses."
"Harvey!"
It was Mike this time. His hoarse voice coming from his room. It made Harvey stop himself as he looked over towards the closed door. His yelling must have woken Mike up. He shot one glare at Adam and then turned his back on him and went to Mike, closing the door forcefully behind him. Mike was laying in bed staring at him.
"Raise me up." He said and Harvey did without a word.
"What are you doing?" Mike then asked.
"I'm getting him out of here."
Mike shook his head. "Were you even listening to yourself? Because I was, and you sound crazy Harvey. None of this is Adam's fault."
"Isn't it? He took you outside while you are like this! He gave you cough meds you were basically allergic to, and he didn't get me when you needed me! I'm done with him!"
Mike quietly listened and nodded a little. "He is trying to help us. Not just me, you too. He didn't get you because he wanted you to get some sleep. Sure I wish he would have just…" Mike paused.
"We need help Harvey. I realize that. I do and I know you do too."
"Yes I do Mike, but…"
"Let him help."
Harvey rubbed his face and sat down. His frustration was slowly running out of him. Okay, he needed to calm down. Mike was quiet now and wasn't looking at him.
"Fine. So I won't sue him for attempted murder." He muttered. It caused Mike to start laughing and Harvey smirked himself.
"No, I don't think you can pin this on him."
"Maybe not. But I can't have him here if he won't do as I tell him."
"Well, I…" Mike had to stop since he started coughing. Harvey saw how his body tensed in pain at every cough. He wished it was something he could do. Now he just waited. When the kid was done he was holding his neck and had unshed tears in his eyes. He swallowed painfully and looked back at Harvey.
"Don't fight with him, just talk to him. Okay?" He said.
Harvey pressed his lips together but nodded when he met Mike's eyes. "I'll try to do that."
Mike nodded back and didn't say anything else. Instead he closed his eyes and they sat in silence. Eventually Mike's breaths evened out as he fell back asleep.
Harvey let out a deep breath before returning to the kitchen. Adam was sitting there waiting for him. He raised an eyebrow when Harvey sat down in front of him.
"I guess you are not allowed a glass?" He said as he reached for his glass again.
Adam smiled and shook his head.
"I supposed that wouldn't be the best idea." Harvey said. He sighed.
"I hate seeing him like this." He said next. "I just get pissed. Sorry. I know you are just doing your job."
Adam nodded again. "I'm sure he will get better soon."
"I hope so. I think I'm going to bed. If Mike wakes up I want you to come and get me. Is that understood?"
"Sure, I'll do that then." Adam said.
"Good." Harvey paused a moment. "Thanks." He said and turned around for the bathroom. When he came back he could see Adam sitting on the chair next to Mike's bed.
It took him a while to fall asleep. That night Adam woke Harvey up three times. He almost changed his mind about being woken up. He was not comfortable at all with being woken up by the larger man. The first time he couldn't help but jerk away, causing Adam to apologize. The second time he woke when Adam opened his door. At least he could be there for Mike. He had been in pain and confused. The second time he had dreamt something that wouldn't leave his mind. He kept asking Harvey where they were and when they were leaving. He cried weakly and reached for Harvey's hand the third time. Harvey took it and sat there with Mike's sweaty hand in both of his.
The next morning Mike thankfully didn't remember much about the night. Or he pretended he didn't. Either way Harvey didn't bring it up. He felt almost as exhausted as Mike looked.
While Mike slept Harvey talked once again to Adam.
"I want this to work." He mention between the two of them. "I just lost it a bit yesterday."
"When something is bothering you, just let me know and I will do my best to change. I'm just here to help, but if you don't trust me it will be harder for all of us."
"Of course." Harvey nodded. Adam was right.
"I do have a suggestion for you Harvey that I think that will help."
"And what is that?"
"I think Mike should be moved to your bedroom." Adam said.
"What? No way, we are not going to share a bed every night." Harvey exclaimed but stopped himself as the other man smiled.
"Let me rephrase that. I think Mike's bed should be move to your room. He would sleep more comfortably with you in the same room as he will feel safer. And feeling safe means that he is calmer and that's what we want right now."
Harvey thought about it for a moment. His first thought was to actually wonder why he hadn't thought about it himself. If they slept in the same room he would notice faster when Mike needed him during the night. And Mike would certainly like it, but there was one thing though.
"Yeah, that might be an idea. I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with you coming into my bedroom while I'm sleeping though. If you are going to help out." He said. He couldn't help bringing it up, he felt a bit crept out by it.
Adam shrugged his shoulders. "This is what I believe is best for Mike, so maybe you can put that aside."
He said it so simply that Harvey didn't know what to answer other than a weak "Okay then."
So then it was decided. Mike's bed would be moved into Harvey's room. They would have to move almost all other furniture's out of way to make room for it. Adam said that they needed a lot of room in front of the bed for the wheelchair and other equipment that might be needed. They decided to do it as soon as Mike woke up from his nap since he needed to be out of it. Adam's shift was over but he said that he agreed to stay and help with moving the furniture and Mike's bed.
Harvey took his laptop and headed to Mike's room to hang out there until he woke up. He told Adam to go and lay down a bit himself. He had been up all night after all.
Mike stirred about two hours later. He spent about a minute coughing before he settled down after Harvey forced him to drink something.
"You okay?" He asked.
Mike nodded a little. "Throat hurts, but I'm fine." He said with his eyes closed.
"Mike, Adam and I have an idea. Or it's not an idea. It's happening. Can you look at me?"
He continued when Mike did.
"We are going to move your bed to my room."
"You are?"
Harvey nodded. "You are okay with that right?"
Mike looked at him for a long time before he answered. "Yeah. I'm okay with that."
"Good. We'll do it now then. I'm getting Adam. We are going to move around the furniture in my room and then move this thing somehow. I bet it's heavy." Harvey touched the corner of the bed.
"Havrey wait."
"What?" He stopped in the door way.
"Are you okay with that?"
"Of course I am. We should have done it a long time ago."
"Isn't it weird though? It's a bit weird."
"Shut up and try to wake up a bit. You need to be out of the bed if we are going to move it."
"Or you can move it with me in it?"
"You wish."
Mike just rolled his eyes and then closed them making no effort at all of getting up. Harvey shook his head at him and then went to wake up Adam. He knew he should feel a bit ashamed of the fact that it felt a bit satisfying to be the one waking up the other this time. Adam seemed unfazed by being woken up, he just stretched his large body out on the couch, it was a bit small for him. He yawned a bit and sat up.
"He in on it?" he asked.
"Yes, let do it."
They started with moving Mike to the couch were he then sat and came with more or less helpful tips on how they should lift. Harvey was sweating when they were finished after about half an hour. The bed was much heavier than it looked and they had been forced to lift sideways to fit it through the doorways.
"How in hell did you get it in here in the first place?" Adam panted.
"He hired someone of course!" Mike called from the living room.
"Aren't you going to sleep? You look tired." Harvey asked him.
"Maybe I will." Mike said, and was asleep two minutes later.
Adam chuckled at that and left wishing Harvey a good night.
"Yeah, see you later. And it's not even ten in the morning."
Adam blinked at him and left. Harvey shook his head and smiled a bit. Adam wasn't that bad after all. And Mike seemed to be doing a little bit better today. He wasn't coughing his lungs out at least.
The day passed slowly. Mike was in a pretty good mood. At least until he wanted to take a shower and Harvey had to help him there. He grumbled about needing assistance to the bathroom.
"That's not how Adam does it." Mike said when Harvey put him on the shower chair while he still had his clothes on.
"I'm sorry for not being an educated nurse." Harvey grumbled as he tried to get Mike out of his T-shirt.
"Maybe Adam can give you lessons?"
"Are you trying to piss me off or what?"
"Maybe." Mike smirked. "I can do it Harvey. You can wait outside now."
"What? You want me to just stand outside the door and wait until you're done?"
"That's what Adam does."
Harvey resisted the urge to push him down the chair and left the room. He heard Mike laugh a little and was secretly pleased. He was fine with Mike making fun of him if it meant he was in a good mood. He made several tours past the bathroom during the time Mike was showering.
When Mike finally called for him that he was done, Harvey founding him breathing harshly from exhaustion.
"Woah. Hey!" Harvey exclaimed when Mike practically fell against him as Harvey wrapped a towel around him. "Mike!"
"Mmmm.."
"Don't fall asleep."
"I'm not." Mike slurred against him as Harvey tried to keep him upright.
"Yes you are. We need to get you out of here."
Mike wasn't cooperative at all while Harvey tried to get him into some clothes and then to bed.
"I'm just so tired." He complained, suddenly in a totally different mood than just an hour earlier.
"I know kid. You can lay down in a minute."
"I want you to stay here." Mike mumbled when Harvey had gotten him into bed. He looked like he was about to break down.
"Sure."
"Were you going to work?"
"No, not really."
"Sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry."
"I feel so bad sometimes Harvey."
"It will be better."
Mike didn't answer, he just blinked rapidly and massaged his throat.
Dinner time wasn't nice for either of them. Mike fought with every bite. He didn't complain out right, he had apparently decided that he was going to eat what Harvey had put out for him, but it was clear that it pained him to swallow. He groaned and swore as he ate. He breathed out shakily and clenched his fist and swallowed.
"Oww.." He wiped his eyes.
"Mike, it's enough. You don't have to eat it. It's okay." Harvey couldn't take it anymore.
Mike just looked at him and tears trailed from both his eyes as he blinked. His hands were shaking.
"I can't do anything." He said. "I can't eat, I can't shower by myself. I don't to…be like this."
"Hey… I know Mike." Harvey grabbed his hand. They sat like that for a while. Then Harvey removed Mike's plate and wiped the kids face. Mike let him. Then Harvey sat down next to Mike on his bed and dragged him against him so that Mike's head were resting against him.
"It's going to be fine. You are going to be fine."
Mike just coughed and moaned, but after a few minutes he started to relax.
"Okay." He breathed.
It was a bit weird to have Mike's bed in the same room as his own bed. Mike had eventually calmed down and some tea with honey had helped a little. He was sleeping for the night now, and Harvey tried to do the same. He had struggled with falling asleep for almost two hours now. Only part of his troubles falling asleep was because of Mike being there and his coughing.
He couldn't help but think about what Mike had said earlier. He had sounded so weak, and once again it reminded Harvey about that the time might be coming to an end. Nothing seemed to be better.
Mike was coughing again and Harvey wished he could put in ear plugs to not have to hear it anymore. Every time he felt sleep starting to creep over him Mike would let out a cough and wake him again. It was almost like he knew that Harvey was about to fall asleep and chose that exact moment to cough. No, of course he didn't, what was he thinking? He almost felt guilty for his thoughts when Mike quietly moaned after the last coughing fit. It was obviously hurting him. He suspected that Mike wasn't asleep either now. He probably couldn't sleep either and he needed it so much more than Harvey did. He could hear Mike turning a little on his bed. He was breathing heavily almost like he was out of breath. He was probably trying to quell another coughing fit. He wasn't successful.
Harvey pressed his eyes hard together as he listened to Mike quietly moaning again. It sounded muffled as if he was pressing his face against his pillow. He should say something. He really should. He should comfort him somehow. Mike would probably want him to. But he didn't. He didn't know how to do that in this moment. He wasn't sure if he would sound convincing in his reassurances.
-SUITS-
Could you die from coughing? Mike was seriously wondering if you could. Maybe he would be the first person to try it?
He felt better today though. He had slept better, except for being woken by his damn coughing, but had hadn't had that many nightmares. So that was a nice change. He had felt better knowing that Harvey was in the same room. Something heavy that had been pushing on his chest without him knowing what it was had eased up a little. They constant worry he felt had lightened a little in Harvey's room.
He didn't know if Harvey agreed. He knew he had kept the other man up last night. Harvey had asked suddenly if he was okay and if he needed anything. Mike had thought that he had been asleep.
This morning Harvey looked half dead. Poor guy. And it was all his fault.
Harvey was saying that they were going to the hospital today. Usually he knew when he was due there, but this visit he had no clue about. It turned out that Harvey had called to set it up.
Mike just went along. He sat in the wheelchair without complaining at all. He liked to do that otherwise just for the sake of it. But not today. He felt bone tired. His body was tired, not so much his mind. Not today at least. Or he was maybe a bit out of it.
They did test on him. Had him drink something that they said would help against the coughing. It burned a bit going down but it didn't made him feel nauseous. He didn't know what it was. But if it helped against coughing he would drink and eat anything. His whole body hurt every time he coughed. Sometimes he almost felt panicked after a fit. He couldn't get enough air and it left him lightheaded.
They were in some office now. He was sitting on a chair next to Harvey. They were all talking except him. He wasn't sure what they were talking about. Something about his eating habits.
He had trouble holding his own head up. It felt too heavy for his neck. Somehow it felt like his neck had become smaller, and was no longer suitable for it purpose of holding up his head. He had never considered the balance needed between head and neck before. His own neck was now failing to do it's job.
"Mike? Can you please listen?"
He brought an arm up on the table in front of him so that he was able to help his neck out a bit. He blinked a bit towards Dr. Lundin in the chair opposite of him. Harvey shifted on his chair.
"We are discussing your weight at the moment." The doctor explained. "I'm concerned about it and your values are not looking good Mike. I understand that the cold you have makes it difficult to eat at the moment, but we have decided to take further actions. Mike?"
There was a picture frame on the desk next to the mouse pad. He had never seen that before in here. Was it a new frame? What was in it? Could he ask to see it?
Harvey tapped his shoulder and Mike blinked hard and turned his head a little to look at him. Harvey squeezed his shoulder now.
"Are you with us?" He asked. Mike blinked again. His eyes were so dry. He nodded a little though since Harvey seemed to want him to. Harvey smiled a weird smile at him and nodded forward. Right, the doctor.
"Yeah." He said.
"I doubt it." Harvey said and Mike wanted to glare at him, but didn't think he managed.
"We are going to put you on an IV that you can receive at home Mike." Mike barely reacted. An IV. Hm.
The doctor had turned to Harvey now telling him that a nurse or someone would follow them home and teach Harvey on how to help him with it. He guessed that was fine. Maybe he wouldn't have to eat now? It did hurt a whole lot to eat. Like he swallowed glass or something.
Something felt wrong now. He was so dizzy. That wasn't normal right? He should say something. It felt like he was leaning sideways, but he was pretty sure he sat upright.
"Mike? Mike? Kid! We are leaving. You need to help a bit. What's with him?"
He wasn't sure if Harvey was talking to him or not. Harvey's hands were on him. Harvey was talking to him again. Mike just chose to shake his head. He didn't want to move at all at this point, he didn't care what Harvey did, as long as he didn't have to change position.
Someone moved him then. Hands lifted him and the room was moving. Then he got to lay down. That was good. He could finally close his eyes.
When he woke up again he felt so much better. He blinked and looked around. He was in a hospital room. Harvey was there of course, and also his doctor.
"Look how is awake!" Doctor Lundin said and smiled.
"Are you with me?" Harvey asked.
"Yes." Mike sighed.
"You were totally out of it. They had to pump you full of drugs." Harvey smiled so Mike figured he was good now.
They could leave the hospital two hours later. Someone from the hospital came with them. Mike wasn't sure why. But he was hooked up on and IV when they got home. He also had something stuck to his chest. Harvey told him not to touch it, so he didn't.
"It's there to monitor your heart, kid." Harvey said. Okay, Mike guessed that was a good thing too.
-SUITS-
Hej again! I'm sorry for the long wait. I'm really planing on finishing this story, just so you know that I won't abandoning it. I hope I can write more often now, because I do enjoy it. I have a few plans on the next chapters. I hope you will like it! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Happy new year!