Chapter 56.
Harvey's heart hammered in his chest as he watched Mike's sleeping form. But he couldn't help but smile a bit to himself. He had spoken the truth right then. Mike had filled out something in his life, a hole that he hadn't been aware of existed there. Mike had stumbled into his life and changed everything, for the better. He never wanted to go back how it was before.
This journey of Mike's illness had brought them closer than Harvey ever had been to another person. Never before had someone been so dependent of Harvey and never before had he felt so needed. And he wanted to be needed. He really did. If Mike survived this their relationship would always be close. He would always have Mike there by his side, whatever happened just as he would be by Mike's. Going through something like this really changed a person. Mike's change hadn't been all positive of course. But Mike had learnt to really trust and let someone else into his life in a way that Harvey didn't think he had done before.
He leaned forward and hugged Mike's hand in his, not caring if he woke him up or not. Truth be told he kind of wanted to wake Mike up. He hadn't liked the way the kid had talked just minutes ago. Sure the meaning of it was wonderful, but it had sounded so final. Like Mike was saying goodbye.
Harvey had heard about terminally ill patients that right before their final moments had gained some extra energy to be able to say goodbye to their loved ones before they passed. That couldn't have been the case with Mike right now, could it?
Harvey watched him closely. No, Mike chest was still moving up and down. A glance at the heart monitor told him that his heart was beating. He sighed. Damn kid. Was he doing better now? Was his speech just now a sign of improvement? Or was this the last time he had spoken to Mike?
He hated this! The not knowing what was going to happen, part. Especially when it was something as serious as whether Mike would live or die. He drew a deep breath and felt how he tensed. He tried to relax. He stared at Mike's chest. He tried to let it calm him. Up and down it moved. Again. And again. Yes, Mike was alive.
Harvey decided right there that he wouldn't sleep that night. He was going to stay awake and keep watch. He needed to make sure nothing happened. He needed to make sure Mike didn't do anything stupid. Like dying. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head a little. He wished he had something to distract thoughts like this with. All he had now was the movements of Mike's chest.
It was an extremely long night for Harvey. He did stay awake. He did exactly what he had decided to do, no matter how much one of the night nurses nagged him about getting some sleep. He refused and he suspected that he even had made her a little afraid of him. But he didn't care. Mike was his responsibility and right now Mike needed him to keep watch. So that's what he did.
And by morning Mike still hadn't opened his eyes. He was still sleeping. Not once had he stirred. He didn't even wake up during the probably twenty times he was checked out by nurses or doctors.
Mike was still alive. However barely. He is barely alive that was what one of the night doctors had told him. Harvey had wanted to yell at him and demand that he never stepped his foot in Mike's room again. All those things that people said, that Mike was hanging on by a thread, he was holding his own, balancing between life and death, and it was all bullshit. Mike was still here! He was still alive.
If Mike slept like this it couldn't be that bad, could it? It meant that he was still fighting. His heart was still beating in his chest against all odds. The kid had a strong heart. Two open heart surgeries and the countless times Mike's heart had stopped beating proved that. At least it proved something! Harvey had some trouble forming coherent thoughts by now. Maybe he should just rest his eyes for a few minutes. Maybe if someone could keep an eye on Mike.
He stood up for a while. If he walked around for a bit he wouldn't fall asleep.
"Harvey? How are you doing? I've said your name twice."
Harvey spun around and saw doctor Lundin in the doorway. He stepped inside the room and walked over to Mike. He checked Mike's chart and watched the heart monitor. He mumbled something that Harvey couldn't make out.
"How is he?" He wanted to know and the doctor turned back towards him.
"I understand that he was more coherent last night?" He asked.
"Yes he was. He…he thanked me."
Dr. Lundin smiled a little. "I see. Harvey that is a good sign. He is still fighting."
"Damn right he is!"
"You know that anything can happen at any time for someone in Mike's position. But I have to say that it is good news that his night passed without mayor incidents."
"And?" Harvey asked.
"We'll just have to wait and see."
Harvey couldn't help but roll his eyes a little. "What do you think I've been doing the whole night?"
The doctor nodded. "Of course. I know how hard this is. You know what Harvey? I could sit with him for an hour or two if you want to get some sleep."
Harvey hesitated.
"If something happens I know what to do." The doctor smiled.
"Sure." Harvey said three seconds later. "You wake me for anything, even if he just moves a finger."
"I will."
Harvey decided that it would be okay then. It would be fine if he just went to get a few hours of sleep. Mike was in capable hands. This man in front of him was someone that all this time had fought to keep Mike alive. Suddenly he was filled with so much gratitude that he extended a hand and shook the somewhat surprised doctor's hand.
"Thank you." Harvey said and held the man's hand a bit longer, nodded and went over to the small bed, laid down and was asleep seconds later.
He woke up so suddenly that he almost fell out of bed. He must have dreamt something because he almost felt panicked as he looked over towards Mike's bed. Doctor Lundin was still there and looked up from Mike's chart that he had been studying.
"Everything is fine." He said quietly.
Harvey tried to relax and closed his eyes for a second.
"Are you alright?" The doctor asked.
"I'm fine." Harvey answered automatically.
"I'm sure you are." The doctor said.
Harvey stood up and went over to Mike's bedside. The kid looked the same as before. Incredibly bad.
"I just want him to be okay."
"I understand that. To be honest it's a miracle that he is doing as well as he is right now. He has been sleeping calmly this whole time and his heart seems to be doing its job at the moment. I have been able to adjust his medication slightly."
"Why?"
"Remember that Mike had problem with an ulcer? It's almost been forgotten during all of this with the surgery. I don't mean that we literally forgot, I'm just saying that we had more pressing matters as you know. But I don't want Mike to be in more pain than he already is, so we can take stronger actions towards that now."
Harvey didn't really like the sound of that. "Stronger actions?" He questioned. "You've been saying that he is barely holding on for days now."
"But he is holding on. I don't think this will affect him all that much, I just wanted to keep you informed about the latest changes in Mike's care."
Harvey nodded. "You think he will wake up soon?"
"Hopefully. Give him time though."
Harvey just nodded again and sat down.
"I'll have to go now Harvey. A nurse will stop by soon. If you have any concerns just let me know."
He walked towards the door, but stopped.
"Harvey. I want to remind you that Mike is still very ill."
Harvey felt anger surge through him and he kept his eyes firmly on Mike until he heard footsteps walking away. He knew what the doctor had implied. Mike could still drop dead at any moment, that's what he meant, and Harvey hated that insinuation. Why did he have to say that? Well, it was probably so that he wouldn't get his hopes up too much. But what did it matter, if Harvey had hope now it would make him feel better at the moment. If Mike died he would be destroyed no matter what. It would take him by surprise no matter what.
Mike just kept sleeping. Or maybe he was sedated, Harvey wasn't really sure. What he did know was that Mike was not awake and that he had to wait until Mike woke up. He texted with Donna a while, telling her that Mike was the same. She wasn't allowed into the room. Harvey thought it was stupid but he didn't argue with anyone about it, just as long as he didn't have to leave himself.
The next day and Mike was still asleep.
"I actually think this is a good sign, Harvey." Dr. Lundin said after he had examined Mike. He had ordered a nurse to adjust Mike's medication after he reportedly noticed signs of that Mike's body was stressed in some way. Harvey couldn't see any difference in the younger man, but he was exhausted on the other hand. The hospital staff had mostly stopped telling him to sleep or go home and rest. They just let him be and Harvey was grateful for that.
Things changed the day after. Mike showed signs of worsening much to Harvey's disappointment. This wasn't supposed to happen. Mike was supposed to get better, not worse. Mike had developed a fever and that worried the doctors that took care of him a lot. Harvey got it all explained to him and could understand the danger a fever posed for Mike's weakened state. The main worry was that Mike might develop an infection along or within his incision site. Mike had been thoroughly examined but so far it was okay.
Mike woke up at exactly quarter to one that day. Harvey knew the time since he just had checked the time since he was starting to get hungry. Mike suddenly started to cough and then he moaned and his eyes flew open. Something burst inside of Harvey as he saw Mike's blue eyes again. Relief flooded through him and he realized how scared he had been to never see his eyes open again. It had been a real possibility. Harvey had thought a lot about that all of those hours when he waited for Mike. Because it was also a possibility that Mike himself hadn't believed that he would open his eyes again. Mike had said goodbye to him. The more Harvey had thought about that the more certain he was of that fact. Some parts of him hated Mike for doing that. For giving up. Other parts of him hated himself for letting Mike down to the extent that Mike didn't believe in himself. It was all so messed up.
Now Harvey leaned forward and grabbed Mike's shoulder.
"Mike, are you with me?" he asked carefully as he pushed to alarm. They needed help now.
However Mike wasn't with him. He wasn't with him at all. Mike's eyes just rolled around in his head in a scary way when Harvey carefully shook him. Neither the nurse nor Mike's doctor who arrived four minutes later got any real contact with Mike and he was passed out soon again. However the doctor claimed that this was a good sign. Harvey had a hard time seeing it that way though. Mike's eyes had been so empty, like he wasn't there at all. Like he was still sleeping, only with his eyes opened. And maybe that had been the case.
Mike's fever steadily rose within the next few hours. It wasn't with much, but it was rising. Mike woke up again later that night. He wasn't there this time either, no matter what Harvey did or say he couldn't even get Mike to look towards him.
When Mike was out again Harvey noticed that he himself was tense and shaking, he had been so nervous. He got up and paced around the room while a doctor checked Mike's chest once again.
"It looks a bit worse." He mumbled and Harvey wasn't sure it was directed at him.
It got worse, of course it did, because this was Mike and things couldn't just be easy with him. What the doctors had feared happened and Mike had an infection. It turned out that somehow Mike had managed to get an infection in the wound from his latest surgery, and his body was now fighting this infection with all it had. Which couldn't be much, Harvey couldn't help but thinking. It resulted in the fever and Mike's current unresponsive state. He now had a fever of a hundred and one. No that that high but high enough. Apparently it wasn't just the fever, his wound was also hurting him judging from Mike's reaction when anyone tried to come near his chest. He wasn't really that aware but he did try to get away and let out an, in Harvey's ears, terrible sound when they held him still to examine him. Harvey had wanted to push them away.
Mike wasn't really responding to Harvey either when he did his best in trying to comfort him later. When Harvey tried to put a hand on Mike's shoulder the kid jerked away and moaned. His eyes were closed and he didn't open them no matter how many times Harvey asked him to.
"Hopefully this will help him." A female doctor told Harvey after she had ordered a nurse to put some kind of cream on Mike's incision and then put some sort of special bandage on it.
"And if it doesn't?" Harvey asked.
"We'll try something else." She answered.
Harvey sometimes got annoyed of all the people that constantly came into the room. Sure they were there to tend to Mike, but still. Mostly they let him stay in the room, but some of them asked him to leave. Harvey usually refused and only left when they occasionally threatened him with bringing security. That was mostly some new doctors which came during the night shifts. The others had learned that it was better to let Harvey be there.
Harvey was getting frustrated. Mike was still alive and fighting, but Harvey just wished that he would get more coherent. It would make everything so much easier for everyone.
"It is troubling, sure. But I think he will come around soon." Dr. Lundin told Harvey when he brought it up with him. "I understand this is difficult for you Harvey, but we do have to give Mike time."
Harvey just clenched his teeth and nodded. Sure. More time. How much time did the kid need to get over that horrible fever? Harvey didn't know how much longer he could take of Mike moaning in his sleep. Why couldn't he wake up?
Harvey was going to go crazy. He had no one to talk to. He had met Donna shortly in the corridor outside Mike's room. She wasn't allowed to go inside after she had sneezed while scrubbing to go inside of Mike's room.
"I'm not even sick. It was just the soap." She had complained to Harvey and had him to promise to give Mike a hug when he got better.
"You can do it yourself." Harvey had complained.
"Just stay with him. Just let him know that he is loved." Donna had suddenly tears in her eyes and Harvey understood how disappointed she was about not getting to see the kid. He patted her back and said that he would.
Mike was not much better the next day. His fever was still high and he was clearly in pain. He hadn't been given much pain killers since they wanted Mike's body to fight, or whatever. Harvey just felt angry at that. He hadn't been able to change their minds. They just said that when the next doctor arrived he would make a decision.
"Well, get him in here then!" Harvey had all but yelled, but was met with a "He will be here soon." from the nurse that was in the room at that moment.
Mike was squirming on the bed. His hand either gripping the cover hard or traveling up to his chest in an attempt to try and get the pain away from there. Harvey carefully restrained his hands as they came too close. Mike's doctors didn't want him touching his the bandage over his chest. He could make it worse.
Mike didn't seem to be noticing what Harvey that was doing now. He just tried to tear his hands away from Harvey's grip to try the same thing again. Harvey tried to sooth him, tried to get him to understand what was going on, but he wasn't successful. The whole situation was just awful and scary.
After an hour with no change a nurse suggested that he take a break and Harvey found himself looking hesitantly between her and Mike.
"He won't notice if you aren't here. I'll stay with him." She said and Harvey just nodded and stood up and left without looking at Mike. If he did he would change his mind. But she was right. He needed a break. He stiffly walked out of the room, his back aching from the position he had been in. However that was nothing compared to what Mike was feeling. He was in so much pain that he didn't have a clear view of his surroundings. It killed Harvey inside to see Mike like that and not being able to even let Mike know that he was with him.
Preferably he would have found somewhere to sleep but he didn't have anywhere to do so. He wasn't hungry either and he only planned to stay away from Mike's room long enough to regroup and collect his thought again. And maybe calm down a little. This led to him aimlessly wandering around the hospital. He took the elevator down to the main floor and found himself outside the gift shop. On impulse he walked in. It was pretty big with shelf after shelf with things that might be helpful for anyone in a hospital environment. He passed the section with chocolate boxes and get-well cards, walked past the stands with balloons. He stopped for a moment wondering what Mike would say if he bought him a balloon shaped like a smiling shark with a little hat and a bow tie. In this state Mike wouldn't even notice it but maybe later, when he got better he would. Maybe the kid would appreciate a gift? Harvey hadn't bought him anything except for his birthday. Why hadn't he done that?
Mike would be glad for a gift from him, he was pretty sure of that. So he decided to get him something! The thought actually cheered him up more than he thought it would. But what to buy? A balloon was out of the question. It was just stupid, but what else?
Not something eatable, Mike would throw it up. A card seemed useless, and besides he would have to come up with something thoughtful and encouraging to write and he didn't have it in him at the moment.
His eyes fell on the shelves in the corner of the shop filled to the brim with stuffed animals. He walked over. Maybe one of those?
He had never bought a stuffed toy in his life. There was probably thirty different types to choose from. It was pretty stupid. Some of them were quite ugly as well. He imagined Mike bringing a green elephant back to his condo and paled a bit. Never. There were a few that were classier though and after a few moments he was satisfied with his choice. He picked it up and headed for the cash register before he would change his mind and realize that this was silly.
"Good choice. I saw that you were back there for a while. This is one of our best sellers." The young man with freckles behind the counter said. "But these decisions are important. Is it for your son?"
Harvey stared at him feeling embarrassed. He hadn't been back there that long, had he? And was it for his son? But answering no, it's for my grown associate, didn't sound right.
"Yes, it is." He said instead.
"I'm sure he will love it!" The guy said enthusiastically. "Do you want it gift wrapped?"
"Eh no, just a bag please." Harvey said and handed over a bill. He couldn't wait to get out of here now. This was so stupid.
He went back to Mike's room after that. The nurse was still there. She smiled when she saw his bag but didn't say anything other than that Mike was asleep again. She told him that Mike had been sedated, after his doctor had been there to see him. It have been decided that it was the best option for Mike. Harvey agreed to that.
Mike woke up again though a couple of hours later. This time he was more lucid than earlier. Maybe it had to do with the increased drugs in his system. He was examined and taken for test as Harvey had waited in his room. When Mike got back Harvey was then asked to step out the room for a while. Mike was still awake when he got to go inside his room again.
"How are you feeling?" Harvey asked lightly, stepping over to him.
Mike just blinked slowly. He didn't even move his head in Harvey's direction to look at him when he answered.
"Bad."
Harvey nodded a little. It was to be expected, Mike looked awful. Face pale and sweaty. He was tense and had one hand protectively over his chest.
"Does your chest hurt?" Harvey asked.
Mike was quiet for a long time. "Yeah." He then whispered. Harvey saw how his lip twitched and his eyes started to look shiny. He still didn't look in Harvey's direction. A moment later a tear trailed down his cheek and he brought a hand up to wipe it away. When the next one came he didn't bother. He wouldn't look at Harvey and didn't say anything.
Harvey was hurting with him. It was so awful seeing Mike suffer like this, just laying on a hospital bed and silently cry while he endured the pain he was in. When Mike suddenly tensed like he was trying to push his back down deeper in the bed like he was trying to escape the pain in his chest Harvey remembered his gift. He hastily stood and walked over to the door where he had left the bag with the toy. When he turned back towards Mike the kid was finally looking at him. Meeting his eyes had Harvey stopping in his tracks. Mike looked devastated.
"Oh kid. Hey, I wasn't leaving." He put the bag on the floor next to his chair. He reached for some tissues, aware of that Mike now was following his every move.
"It's okay now Mike. It'll be okay. Don't worry." He mumbled quietly as he carefully wiped Mike's face. "It will pass, you know. It will hurt less soon. You just got to wait a while longer. Just hold on."
Mike didn't speak but nodded a little. New tears ran down Mike's face and Harvey wiped them as well. When he felt how Mike leaned his head towards his hand he kept his hand along the side of Mike's warm face. He took a deep breath when he felt the moisture there. Harvey hushed him a little when Mike also took a deep breath. The kid had his eyes closed now and had turned his head towards Harvey's hand as if seeking comfort from it. They stayed like that for a long time. Neither of them spoke. They just waited for the worst to pass. For things to ease up a little bit.
Eventually Mike turned his head back on the pillow and blinked his eyes opened. He nodded a bit towards Harvey. He had stopped crying now and Harvey thought he was a bit more relaxed.
"Is the worst over?" He asked quietly.
"Think so." Mike whispered. "Thanks."
"Shitty day, huh?"
Mike huffed a little. "Try year." His voice was hoarse. This was the first time in a few days that Mike was well enough to hold a conversation. That in itself was amazing considering the last talk that they had. Harvey wanted nothing else then to bring that up again, he wanted to know if Mike had thought that he was dying and if he had been saying goodbye. But now wasn't the time to ask about that.
"It's good to see you awake." He said instead. "I've been worried."
Mike looked at him a long time before nodding.
"I'm proud of you Mike." Harvey found himself saying next. He just needed to get that out.
Suddenly something in Mike's appearance had changed. His eyes opened a bit wider and he seemed to stretch himself out a bit.
"Thanks." He said. "Means a lot."
Harvey smiled at him. "You know what? I actually brought you something."
Mike watched him with a bit more interest in his eyes. Harvey reached for the bag and pulled up the stuffed animal. He held it out towards Mike.
Mike just stared at it and made no attempt to take it. He then looked up at Harvey and back to the toy. Harvey suddenly felt uncomfortable with the whole situation. What was he doing buying the kid a toy?
"Look, it's stupid. I don't know what I was thinking. You don't have to take it."
Harvey made a move to take the stupid thing back when Mike spoke.
"No." His hands now shoot out and grabbed the toy and he pulled it towards him as if afraid Harvey would actually remove it from him.
"No I… I… thank you, Harvey." He watched it with wide eyes. "You never… given me anything… like this before." He said more to himself then to Harvey.
"Well… I just thought that it might cheer you up a little. You see what it is? It's a puppy." Harvey smiled as he met Mike's eyes. And to his joy Mike smiled back. So what if it was stupid and silly. Maybe that was just what they needed.
"Oh... because I am a… a puppy or what?"
"Yes you are." Harvey patted his head a little still smiling remembering when he had used that analogy on Mike. It felt like ages ago.
"Thank you." Mike said again looking at the toy dog. "It does… cheer me up."
"I'm glad kid." Harvey felt how something heavy that he hadn't really been aware of was there lifted from his chest. Mike was smiling!
He watched how Mike carefully placed the dog over his chest right along where his incision was. A little more lifted and a bit of hope filled its place.
-SUITS-
This was the best he had felt in a long time. Like in forever. Sure he hurt all over, especially his chest was hurting like crazy. He just wanted to dig his nails in there and rip all the hurt away. But that wouldn't make anything better. He felt so warm and dizzy too. And he felt a little nauseated, like if he sat up he would puke.
He had a vague memory of that everything had been about a hundred times worse during the last few days. He barely knew if it had been real or not. He remembered hands on him, turning him, pushing him, hurting him. He just didn't know why it had been down, why they had been hurting him so badly. He had tried to get away. He was pretty sure that he had tried to call for help as well, but hadn't really been able to do it properly. The cancer and all it brought with it had been holding him down, almost like he had been trapped under water or something worse, maybe trapped in syrup. If that was anything like he had felt. Hindered in everything he tried to do, move, speak or even open his eyes.
So no, it hadn't been pleasant at all. He just wanted to forget it all now because what made him feel so much better despite of everything was Harvey and what he had just said and done.
He had been in so much pain that he had been as paralyzed. He couldn't speak to ask for help, he had tried but his mouth wouldn't open. He didn't even try not to cry. But Harvey had been there and he had helped him. He had said nice things to him as well. Things that helped him. Even if he didn't know if they were true or not.
But when Harvey had said that he was proud of him, he had believed that Harvey was. Proud of him. Harvey was proud. That had helped him. He had kind of forgotten the ache from the wound on his chest. And everything that had been holding him down so far disappeared. Not entirely because he had some trouble talking, it was exhausting to force out enough air to be able to form sentences.
And then Harvey had gotten him a gift! Harvey had thought it would cheer him up. Harvey had almost looked embarrassed when he held out the stuffed dog for him. It was soft to touch and a bit heavy when he carefully put it over his chest. The weight of it put a comfortable pressure on the aching wound and the pain eased a bit. That was amazing. And what also was amazing that he had gotten it from Harvey. Harvey had went to a store and bought it for him because he thought it would help Mike. And a toy of all things.
When Mike looked up at the older man he could see how Harvey's tired features lightened up a bit. Harvey smiled at him like Mike just told him that he had found some loophole in a contract that would lead them to win some case. Mike didn't really understand why Harvey looked like that, but he tried to smile back and thought he was successful.
Shortly after, the door to his room opened and a nurse and a doctor stepped inside. Mike clumsily pulled his cover over his chest and the toy dog. He didn't want them to see it. What if they took it from him? And also a tiny part of him felt embarrassed about hugging a stuffed animal to his chest. They probably saw what he did but they didn't say anything.
They seemed happy that he was doing so much better. Mike sort of thought that it was an overstatement. He didn't feel so much better at all. He felt like crap. But they were happy that he was talking now, as they said.
They had a talk with him after that. It was a serious and depressing talk. It was about how low his chances were and about everything that could go wrong. About how screwed he was still. He was told that he had a fever from some infection. On top of everything. When would he catch a break? Harvey seemed to be thinking along the same lines as him. He listened to the doctor with a wrinkle between his eyes.
Actually he didn't want to listen to all of that, but he didn't say anything. Nothing he said would change anything anyway, and he had enough with breathing without talking as it was. So he just laid there. But then he got tired. So he fell asleep. He knew that they were still talking, but he didn't care. Harvey was listening on his behalf anyway.
When he woke up again he still had the dog over his chest and Harvey was still in the room.
He smirked a bit when he saw that Mike was awake.
"You got bored of the conversation?" He asked.
"Yeah." Mike said. "Bored."
"You want me to give you a recap then?" Harvey kindly asked.
"No. I don't want… to know."
"Fine." Harvey nodded. "How is your chest?"
Like he was a child being asked about an injury he had forgotten the pain returned with full force and he groaned. Harvey patted his arm a bit.
"I'll get a nurse in here." He said.
He felt all better an hour later. He had been bit drugged up and had gotten a change of clothes. They also redid the dressing on his chest. He hadn't seen much of it but it looked all red and messed up. They put some cream on it though and reassured him that it looked better. He wondered how it had looked before.
Suddenly there was a careful knock on the door and when nobody stepped inside Harvey went to open it. It turned out that it was Rachel. She had a little bag with her.
Harvey stepped aside to let her in and she hesitantly walked up to Mike's bed. He smiled at her, and when she saw that he did that she returned it, however it did look a bit forced.
"Hi Mike." She said shakily.
"Hi."
"Well, hi Rachel." Harvey said, closing the door behind her.
"Oh, hi Harvey." She glanced at him and Mike could see a faint blush on her face. He couldn't help but grin. He stopped when Harvey glared at him though, but the older man had an amused glint in his eyes.
"You will be here for a while right, Rachel?" Harvey didn't wait for her response. "Mike, I'm heading for lunch, okay?"
"Okay." Mike nodded.
"You give me a call if you have to leave or if something happens, and I'll be back." Harvey said turned to Rachel again.
"Eh...sure." She said.
"Perfect!" Harvey said happily and was out of the room.
Rachel sat down on his vacant chair with raised eyebrows.
"I know I haven't seen him in a while, but what happened?" She said.
"I changed him." Mike said simply.
"Yes, I think you did!" She smiled for real this time. But when she studied him she paled a bit and her smile faded.
"That bad?" Mike asked.
"Oh, no. I didn't… Well yes Mike. You look… changed." She finished weakly. "I have been so worried. We all have Mike." She said quietly as her dark brown eyes bore in to his. He didn't know what to answer her.
"Sorry." Was all he could come up with.
"No, don't apologize. I'm just glad to be here. I spoke to Donna and she really wants to see you. She claims that she is the healthiest person that ever was, but they won't let her in to you." At Mike's look she continued.
"She was on her way in to see you, but she sneezed so now they think she is sick."
"She sneezed?" Mike let out a laugh. "How does that… sound?"
Rachel giggled a bit. "I don't know, I can't imagine her sneezing."
"Right."
"She told me to bring you this." She brought the bag to her lap and took out a light pink blanket. Mike stared at it.
"It's ecological made from some special fabric that is supposed to be good for you. She explained it all very carefully, but I'm afraid I kind of forgot half of it." She stood up and spread it over him. He didn't know what to say. Sure it was really sweet and all, but still.
"It's pink." He said.
"Yes, she mentioned that too. She said to tell you that the blue ones were out, so she had to buy this one." Rachel's mouth twitched a bit. Mike now noticed that it barely covered him. It reached him to his knees.
"It's for babies. Right?" he had to ask.
"I think it is." Rachel pressed her lips together and looked seriously at him. "Maybe the one's for adults were out too."
"I've become a child." He groaned and Rachel laughed now.
"There is nothing wrong with that." She said. "I think Harvey and Donna has become your mum and dad as well. You three make a nice family."
Mike smiled weakly at her. "What are you then?" He carefully asked.
She didn't look at him but instead put her hand on his arm carefully avoiding his IV. She trailed along the arm down to his hand and lightly held on to his fingers. "Whatever you want me to be." She said quietly.
Mike didn't answer, just squeezed her fingers in his. A sudden longing rose in him then. She looked so beautiful and she was sitting at his bedside holding his hand. Oh, how he wanted to live.
Then their moment was gone when the door opened and Dr. Lundin stepped inside.
"Oh." He said. "Am I interrupting, Mike?"
"No, it's fine." Rachel removed her hand from his and stood up, suddenly unsure of what to do with herself.
"I just wanted to say hello. I heard you were awake Mike. It looks like you are doing a bit better today." He picked up Mike's chart and looked through it.
"Yeah."
"I hope you are keeping this up. Do you mind if I listen to your heart beat?"
Mike didn't mind.
"Nice blanket and oh, you got a new friend I see."
"What?" Mike muttered and felt himself turn red as he realized that his doctor was talking about the stuffed puppy that was placed neatly next to his pillow. Rachel must have seen it as well. For a moment he didn't know what had happened here. He was now covered in a pink baby blanket and had a stuffed toy with him in bed. Neither was very manly.
"Does it have a name?" the doctor now asked with an amused expression.
"No." Mike mumbled.
"Okay, if you take a deep breath."
Five minutes later Mike was alone with Rachel again. She was sitting next to him. She looked hesitant again, he didn't know why that was. He was getting kind of tired again.
"Are you okay?" She asked.
"Mm…"
"Are you falling asleep?"
"Mm…" He noticed that his eyes were closed and opened them again. When had that happened?
"You can sleep if you want." Rachel said.
"Okay. Thanks Rachel."
When he woke up again, Harvey was in the chair Rachel had been in when he fell asleep. Was that the first time ever that he was disappointed to find Harvey in that chair? He soon forgot about it though, because he felt so nauseated that he had to stay absolutely still with his eyes closed not to throw up. Harvey managed to get a nurse to give him something for it.
"We don't want you to throw up on this nice blanket after all. It's a good choice. We have it all over the NICU." The nurse babbled. Mike groaned again and Harvey let out a laugh.
Mike slept for much of the next following days. His doctors were happy with his progress and he was told that he was doing well. He didn't know how they could think that, since all he did was sleep. He was so damn tired. It was still hard for him to have longer conversations. Sometimes it was hard to follow when people spoke to him. At first it freaked him out a bit, but then he decided not to care too much.
Donna was there one day. Mike had been a bit drugged up for chest pains again, these were not related to the incision though, the infection was almost gone by now.
She had gotten rid of Harvey somehow. She and Harvey had been talking a lot and Mike had tried to listen but had then trailed off. Now she was sitting next to him holding his hand in hers.
"It's so nice to see you Mike. I've missed you a lot sweetie." She said and Mike felt all warm inside and squeezed her hand.
"Mike, honey. There is something I wanted to talk to you about. Are you listening?" She said next. He nodded.
"The thing is that it is Harvey's birthday in a couple of days. I don't think he is aware of it, but I just wanted to ask you if you would like me to get him something from you?"
Mike felt a little more awake at that. "His birthday? When?"
"On Saturday. I thought we could surprise him a little. A mini surprise birthday party in here." She waved around his room. "If you are up for it, that is. You can say no of course, it was just an idea."
"Yes. I want to do it. Donna. I want to do it." Mike made an unsuccessful attempt at sitting up. Donna rolled her eyes at him and pushed the button on the bed.
"So you think it's a good idea then?" She continued. "I just thought I would get him some gifts and a cake."
"It's a great idea." Mike smiled at her.
"Good. I'll set it up then. Do you know what you want to give him?"
Mike shook his head. He had no idea. He had no idea that Harvey had his birthday so soon. He had totally forgotten about it. But what should he give Harvey? He wanted to give him everything! Or not everything, but something really special. Something that held meaning and showed Harvey how grateful Mike was for his support. But what in the world would that be?
"Why don't you think about it for a bit?" Donna suggested. "And whatever you think of I will take care of it."
"Whatever?"
"Of course."
Mike believed her.
During the next two days it was almost all he could think of during his time awake. That wasn't a lot though, and Harvey being there all the time disrupted him. Harvey also seemed to be a bit worried when Mike was so quiet.
"Is there something wrong Mike?" Harvey asked him.
"No." Mike answered.
"You are not in pain are you?"
"No."
"Are your breathing alright?"
"Yes.
"Does your heart feel okay?"
"Yes."
"Can you answer with more than one word in a sentence?"
"Yes." Mike smirked.
Harvey rolled his eyes. "I set you up for that one." He said. "You are acting weird that's all."
"I'm not weird."
"Whatever, kid." Harvey returned to his laptop after that and left Mike alone to think.
On Mike's birthday Harvey had given him a lot of thoughtful as well as useful gifts. That had been the best birthday he had had since his parents died. He still felt all happy when he thought about it. It was all thanks to Harvey. Hell, he was still alive thanks to Harvey.
He knew that he had been close to dying both before and after his latest heart surgery. One night Harvey had told him all about it. Harvey had asked him if Mike had thought that he was going to die.
"Do you remember waking up and then thanking me?" Harvey had asked. "You thanked me for hiring you and for being your friend."
"And you said that I fixed your life." Mike had answered him. He remembered that. It had been an important moment. He had felt at peace then. He still remembered the feeling. He had woken up just like Harvey said and somehow he had felt clearer than earlier. He had seen that Harvey was awake and took the opportunity to say all the things he thought that Harvey should know. He had been afraid that Harvey would dismiss it all and tell him that everything would be fine and that he shouldn't thank him like that. But Harvey hadn't done that. Instead he had said that Mike had fixed him and his life. That was a moment that Mike would forever treasure in his mind.
"I did." Harvey said had said. "It's true Mike. You did."
"I don't know if I thought I was dying. Maybe." Mike answered. "I wanted you to know."
"I do know." Harvey had swallowed hard and nodded. He had leaned forward and squeezed Mike's shoulder a bit. "Try and get some sleep now, kid. I'll be here." He said.
"I know." Mike said and had closed his eyes. He heard how Harvey went over to his own bed and Mike's hand had wandered up along his pillow as it did now and then. He still had the stuffed animal in his bed, however hidden below a pillow. It was just comforting.
He fingered on the soft part of its leg now. He tried to do it so that Harvey didn't notice, but he wasn't sure if he was successful or not. Harvey had never said anything about it.
But now he had to focus. What should he get Harvey? He needed to tell Donna today, so that she would have time to get it. She was coming over later.
Something that he couldn't get rid of in his mind was the thought that what if he died, then this gift might be the last thing he gave Harvey. He didn't want to think like that, but couldn't stop himself. After all, one of his doctors had said that it was a miracle that he was still alive.
But this gift needed to be special enough so that Harvey could have it to remember him by, if needed. What could that be? He had no idea. Or he had had some ideas but had dismissed them all. This was kind of stressful. He needed help. There was no one except Harvey there and he couldn't ask him. So he picked up his phone and opened a new search field. He wrote thoughtful gifts, when the words for best friend popped up as a suggestion he clicked on that.
25 best friend gift ideas. He clicked on that. Only stupid stuff. Sure, Harvey wanted a ukulele. Here, something to remember me by, you can play it on my funeral. He closed the site. He probably spent an hour searching, only interrupted once by a nurse. He had nothing and he was getting slightly panicked. He had added the word personal to his search and a lot of engraved necklaces and bracelets turned up. He couldn't give Harvey a bracelet either. When he added male the suggestion was engraved watches instead. Slightly better. But what if he died? Would Harvey want to walk around with a watch that constantly ticked when Mike's heart had stopped doing the same? Maybe not. If he survived it would work though. Then the watch was a pretty good idea. Well, he wasn't planning on dying any time soon. He would go for the watch.
But he couldn't stop surfing around. Maybe something else would be nice too. Harvey deserved two things. He ended up on some weird page were people sold handcrafted artsy stuff. When Harvey was at the bathroom he pushed the call button and when a nurse turned up Mike quickly asked her if there was possible to get stuff delivered to the hospital. She looked so surprised at the question that Mike had laughed if he wasn't so nervous about Harvey coming back.
"Well?" he asked.
"I guess you could. I can help you if you want." She then gave him an address that he could use. It was just in time because Harvey stepped out into the room a minute later.
"Bye." Mike said decidedly and she left with a confused look.
When Donna arrived two hours later and they had gotten rid of Harvey he told her about his watch idea. She was supportive.
"It's a nice gift Mike." She smiled, probably sensing his hesitation. "I'll take care of it. What kind of watch would you like? And what do you want it to say?"
They spent the next hour looking at watches until Mike was starting to get a headache from looking at the screen of Harvey's computer for so long. He wanted to sleep.
"Don't worry, Mike. Harvey will love it." Donna said as she stroke his forehead and straightened his cover and blanket.
The headache got worse and was followed by some pretty bad chest pains. He wanted to cry, it hurt so much. They drugged him though and he felt a bit out of it. He woke up that night from being in pain. A doctor was there and upped his meds, making him feel a bit loopy. At least not in pain. Harvey was sleeping again when Mike suddenly remembered the second gift that he had thought of buying. He had to order it today if it would be here on time. He scrolled along the site he had found and saw everything from the wooden chairs to frames and candle holders. He felt a bit weird. Maybe he wasn't in a good condition to shop for gifts, he was so drugged up. But he had to do it before midnight.
Eventually he fell for something. A small wooden candle holder. Candles were always nice. He bet that Harvey didn't have one at home. Everyone needed to have some candles at home. It was homie. Harvey needed more stuff like that. He still didn't have any curtains!
He placed an order, added giftwrapping and choose express delivery. Nice!
He fell asleep with his phone in his hand.
The next day wasn't a very good day. He had to take some test that he didn't really fancy all that much. Harvey was helpful enough to tell him it could be worse, he could be intubated or something. Would Mike like that better? No he wouldn't. But it wasn't Harvey that was in pain afterwards. It was him, Mike.
He probably had a fever again. He was so sweaty that he wished he could get rid of all his clothes. He settled with his hospital gown and his baby blanket. It was actually pretty amazing. Pretty thick, but still let through air. He didn't care much about his feet anyway.
Adam came to see him that day, and that was the only good thing about that day. Adam complained about a new patient that he had been assigned and begged Mike to get well enough to get home so that Adam could come back to him and Harvey. Mike promised to do his best.
On Friday Mike was a bit better. Donna showed up after dinner that night to show him the watch she had gotten for him to give to Harvey. Harvey himself had been sent away to buy coffee for Donna. He had started to tell her that he actually was her boss, but she just looked at him and he left.
"Teach me how to do that?" Mike begged.
"I don't think you need it." Donna said and picked up a box with the watch from her purse and showed it to him. He stared at it in awe, and suddenly wanting one himself.
"Donna, it's amazing!"
"I know. What do you think about the engraving? The right size?"
"It's perfect. Do you think he will like it?"
"He will love it."
"Thank you for doing this Donna."
"You're welcome Mike. I have everything ready for tomorrow now. I've spoken to your nurses and they know the plan."
"Good. Anything I can do?"
"Yes, stay well enough to get through tomorrow. I'll come around ten. You will be awake by then right?" She smiled.
"I'll try." Mike smiled back.
"What are you two talking about?" Harvey was in the doorway, watching them suspiciously.
"Mike is going to try a manicure." Donna said without blinking.
"Really? Is that your thing?" Harvey handed Donna her coffee.
"I said I'll try it once." Mike vague mumbled, and when Harvey looked away he glared a little at Donna. She left fifteen minutes later and Harvey and Mike waited for the night round.
"So which color will you go for?" Harvey asked.
"What?"
"For the nail polish."
"Shut up!"
They really took Harvey by surprise the next day.
Mike woke up early and just waited for the time to pass until it was ten. When Harvey woke he feigned sleep, just so that he wouldn't reveal something. And also, he didn't want to disappoint Harvey by not saying happy birthday, incase Harvey expected it.
Mike accidently fell asleep for real and woke up again by a nurse carefully shaking his arm.
"I'm sorry to wake you, but this just arrived for you. And I think you need it soon." She nodded towards the bathroom where Harvey was brushing his teeth. Mike blinked up at her wondering what she was talking about for a moment before realizing. This was the nurse that Mike had asked about the shipping address, and now she held out a small giftwrapped box for him.
"I've heard about Mr. Spector's birthday, so I took the liberty of open the package." She explained. "It's almost ten."
Mike accepted the box hesitantly. He had a bit of a hard time now remembering exactly what it was inside. He knew that he for some reason had ordered a candle holder for Harvey, but couldn't picture it. What had he been thinking? He grimaced a bit and placed it below his pillow.
"How are you feeling?" The nurse helped him to sit up.
"Good." Mike mumbled.
"How is your pain level? Any pain?"
"A little." Mike admitted.
"If you just take this, I'll have the doctor come by in two hours. Do you think that will work?" She said as she checked the machine next to him. She then handed him his morning pills.
"It works."
"Good morning." Harvey said as he stepped into the room.
"Good morning." Mike answered.
They small talked for a bit. Or Harvey asked him the normal questions about if he slept well, was he in pain, any nausea. Mike mostly answered no. He had his phone in hand and constantly checked the time. Where was Donna? It was only two minutes to ten.
Mike eagerly looked up when the door opened but was disappointed when it was Dr. Lundin, followed by the nurse from earlier. What was she doing? She had said that the doctor would come first in two hours.
The doctor greeted them and the turned to Harvey.
"I'm actually here to talk to you Harvey. I was wondering if you could come with me to my office for a few minutes."
"What is it about?" Harvey asked and glanced over towards Mike.
"If you don't mind I would like to take it in my office." The doctor insisted. "Nurse Amanda will stay with Mike."
"Alright." Harvey sighed and stood up. "I'll be right back." He added towards Mike, who just nodded. He thought he knew what was going on. He was right because not a minute after Harvey had closed the door it opened again and Donna hastily came inside.
"Hi sweetie." She said. "You good?"
"Yes, Donna. Hi! You did that?" He nodded towards the closed door.
"It's supposed to be a surprise, isn't it?" She had a large bag with her and with the help of the nurse she placed a small cake on a table. She also had nice napkins, plates, glasses, juice, and two small balloons that she hastily tied to Mike's bed. She also placed a few gifts on the table.
"These are from Louis and Jessica." She mentioned to some of them. "They probably would have come, but I didn't know how you were going to feel, so I thought it best if it was only the three of us."
Mike nodded.
"Okay. It's finished. Thank you so much Amanda." Donna said. The nurse smiled and left the room.
"You are amazing Donna." Mike told her.
"I know." She smiled. "Now we wait. I wonder what your doctor is talking about with Harvey. I just asked him to stall."
"Organ donation?" Mike suggested. Donna hit him on his leg.
"What? My other organs work!"
"Don't joke about that."
"Sorry."
"He's here." Donna hushed him and they saw the door open.
"Mike, do you know anything about your values after the…" Harvey stopped talking midsentence and just stared at the balloons and the table. "What's…"
"Happy birthday!" Mike and Donna said in unison.
"What?"
"It's your birthday today." Mike kindly explained.
"It's my…"
"Yes. Your birthday." Donna said.
""You was born today a long time ago." Mike added.
"Not that long." Harvey automatically said.
"When did you pull this off? Did you know about this?" Harvey looked at Mike.
"I told you I'm not weird."
Harvey laughed. "Thank you. Both of you." He said and walked over and hugged Donna and shook Mike's hand. He patted his head as well.
He then sat down and Donna handed him a gift.
"You didn't have to do this." Harvey looked genuinely happy.
"Yes we did." Mike said. "We did." Harvey just looked at him then.
"Open it." Donna said.
And Harvey did.
-SUITS-
If Harvey had been Mike in that moment when he opened the door he had probably had a heart attack. It was his birthday! How on earth had he forgotten about that? Well, Mike, was the answer there, but still, he knew which date it was.
Of course Donna was behind it all.
"You got the hospital people involved?" He asked. "No wonder I never had heard about your latest values from the test you took two weeks ago. He was just bullshiting me, wasn't he?"
"I had a test two weeks ago." Mike defended his doctor.
"You have tests all the time."
Mike didn't argue with him. "Just open it." He said instead. Harvey still had a gift half unwrapped in his hands.
He had gotten his own Dictaphone from Louis.
"You too!" Mike laughed.
Donna had given him a sweater and a tie. Jessica had gotten him a book.
"That one is from Mike." Donna said as Harvey grabbed the last gift on the table. When he looked at Mike he thought that the kid looked more alive than he had seen him in a long time. He looked more alert than usual, and even had some color to his face.
Harvey opened the black box in anticipation and saw the most beautiful watch he had ever seen. He just sat there and looked at it for a full minute.
"Do you like it?" Mike's hesitant voice woke him from his thoughts.
"I do." Harvey said and was surprised when his voice broke a little. "It's very nice. Thank you Mike." He hurriedly added.
"Take it out." Donna urged and Harvey did so. He heard Mike swallowing when he picked it out of the box and looked at it closer. It was something engraved on the back of it.
You made me who I am - Mike
Reading those words made Harvey feel something deep inside of him. He couldn't put it into words, but it filled him with warmth and he felt tears rise in his eyes. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the text.
"I didn't know what to write on there. I thought about so many different things that I wanted to write, but it wasn't that much space to fit all of it, and I was thinking that I needed something, I don't know. It's stupid isn't it? I should have thought of something better." The kid was rambling.
"Mike, just be quiet. It's perfect." He looked at the younger man. "This is the most special gift I ever gotten."
Mike blushed and smiled a little when Harvey put the watch on. It fit! Donna huffed beside them.
"Your gift was perfect as well, of course." Harvey hurried to say, making Mike laugh.
Harvey rose and sat down on Mike's bed and gave him a hug. Mike looked so surprised and didn't have time to hug back before Harvey released him again.
"Who wants cake?" Donna asked then.
Mike groaned a little. "I'll puke." He said. "Sorry."
"That's why I only have two plates." Donna said and handed Harvey one of them.
"What? Why? What if I had wanted to try?"
"I'm Donna." She said.
They had a good time after that. Mike was pretty quiet, but he was deadly ill, so he was excused. The kid had leaned back on the pillows and settled with just watching them and adding something now and again to their conversation. Donna showed Harvey a card from the office.
"I couldn't get all of them to sign it." She said. "It didn't feel right to force them."
Mike laughed at that.
When the cake was gone Mike hummed a bit and Harvey looked at him. The kid were holding out another wrapped box towards him. He looked a bit embarrassed.
"I got you this as well." he said.
"Thank you." Harvey accepted it and opened it. He was surprised to say the least. What he was holding in his hand was made out of wood. There was a round hole on top of the squared wooden thing and Harvey understood that it was a candle holder. There was two engraved hearts in different kinds of wood on the side of it. One larger and darker and the other one smaller and lighter. It was actually pretty beautiful.
"Oh." Mike said when he saw it.
"Thank you." Harvey said again.
"Oh, it's lovely Mike." Donna said.
Mike started to laugh again. "It's a candle holder Harvey!"
"I knew that. I have to get some candles."
"I can get you some, I have a lot." Donna offered.
"Eh… I was a bit drugged when I got it." Mike explained then. "I guess I thought it was fitting since I have heart cancer. And well… you always take care of my heart." He finished weakly, blushing heavily now.
"Oh Mike. That's so sweet." Donna told him and patted his leg, which was the only thing of him within her reach.
"It is Mike. I appreciate it."
"It's super weird though. I got you, Harvey Spector a candle holder!" Mike groaned and closed his eyes.
"Well, its super weird and sweet, kid."
Mike just made a face at him. "Drugged." He pointed at himself.
"Thank you, both of you." Harvey ignored him. He liked Mike's explanation, even if he had been drugged it was a fitting. It held meaning. Harvey already knew he would treasure these gifts. All of them. Besides, he had heard somewhere that every household should have at least one candle holder.
Mike's doctor arrived again a while later. And jokingly apologized to Harvey for luring him away. Harvey did like this man.
Mike passed out a little after that visit and slept for five hours. Apparently their little birthday celebration wore him out. Donna was sad that she had to leave while he was still sleeping.
Harvey had started to read the book he had gotten from Jessica when he was interrupted.
"Excuse me?" There was a knocking and a doctor Harvey hadn't seen before was standing by the door. Behind her was a younger man also dressed in scrubs. Harvey put down his magazine and quietly walked over to them before checking Mike to make sure that he was still asleep.
"Yeah?"
"I'm Doctor Cajsa Jansson I work at the research department here at the hospital. This is the room of Michael Ross right?"
Harvey studied her a bit before nodding. She was a middle aged women with thick purple glasses and short gray hair. "That's Mike over there."
She smiled and held out her hand to shake his and then introduced her collage as her research assistant Emil Jarl.
"I was wondering if we could speak for a moment, I understand you are Mr. Ross's main care giver." She said after Harvey had introduced himself as well. He felt a bit uneasy meeting new doctors but followed them outside after a glance at Mike. Still sleeping.
They sat down on a few benches close to Mike's room. The doctor started to explain the research project that she was working on. She started with explaining about the cancer research she had worked on earlier and Harvey couldn't help but sighing.
"Look," he said after a few minutes. "I would appreciate if you could get to the point. I shouldn't leave him alone for too long." Mike would probably be sleeping for a few hours now, but she didn't know that.
"Right, of course. I'll just get to the point then. Emil and I are working on starting a trial for a new way to treat cancer and right now we are looking for suitable candidates to participate. We believe that Mr. Ross might be a good fit for this trial."
Harvey raised his eyebrows looking back towards Mike's room. He felt the urge of just getting up and walking away from these two people coming now with something that Mike probably could have benefited from months ago, but instead he told them to go on.
"To put it very simple what the trial aim to achieve is to cure soft tissue cancer forms by injecting a substance designed to target the cancer cells and cause them to destroy themselves."
"And why haven't we heard about this before. Mike is…" He paused. "Where were you months ago?"
He noticed the glance the two people in front of him gave each other.
"Well, we don't have a lot of founding and we have been having some trouble with getting approved to try it out on patients. But we believe we are in the process of getting approved, so we have started to look for participants. That's when we learned about Mr. Ross's cancer."
"And why is that? What makes you think that it will work on Mike?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, but we don't know if Mr. Ross will be able to take part or not yet. We would like to run a few test..."
"And why would we do something like that? He has been through enough tests as it is."
He watched the woman's response to him to see her reaction but she didn't falter. If he was honest with himself his heart was beating hard in his chest as something close to hope started to grow.
"From what I understand is his situation very serious and right now you don't have many options left."
"What?! So what you are saying is that you might as well try it out on Mike because he's fighting a losing battle anyway? What on earth makes you think I'm going to allow you to use Mike as some kind of guinea pig?"
He was standing now. The two people in front of him both looked a bit shocked at his outburst. When no one spoke Harvey turned and started to walk back to Mike's room.
"Because we believe that it might work." This time it was Emil who spoke. When Harvey stopped and looked at him he blushed and bowed his head. His collage looked at him before turning to Harvey again.
"Mr. Spector, I know how this must sound to you, when we are coming to you like this when Mr. Ross is in the state that he is. I'm sorry, but what do you have to lose? We are not coming with any guaranties what so ever. As I was saying, we haven't tested this particular from of treatment on humans yet. It has been done in a similar way though, with varying results. But our way is new. I also can't promise that we will be able to go through with the trial. We will need to put Mr. Ross through some test to see if he will be able to participate or not. But if his values are good enough there is a good change he will be able to receive the treatment."
She paused and looked into Harvey's eyes.
"If we would agree to this, what's the side effects? The risks?" He asked.
"At this point it's hard to tell, since Mr. Ross will be in the first trial group. But we are pretty certain that there will be side effects. Most likely such side effects as nausea, pain, memory loss, maybe a risk of depression and suicide thoughts, as well as other unknown factors at this point."
Harvey sighed and sat down again.
"Why do you think that this will work?" he asked.
"Because of the type of cancer that Mr. Ross has. In our animal trials we have tested varies types of tumors and so far the types that causes cancers such as heart cancer is the ones that has showed the most positive results. And when we heard about Mr. Ross's cancer we thought that we should get in touch. Heart cancer is very rare after all. But if we would be able to get good results from this trial we might be able to perfect the treatment to suit other types of cancers in the future."
Harvey still didn't like the way she was talking about Mike, like he was some sort of lab rat or some rare case that doctors gossiped about. But something inside him had woken. Something he hadn't felt in weeks or even months now. Hope. Real hope. It was still small, just a spark, but it was planted inside of him now and he knew that he wouldn't be able to get rid of it. This was what he needed. Something to hang on to.
"So you believe that this will cure him?"
The two people in front of him looked at each other quickly before Dr. Jansson replied. Harvey didn't like that look.
"We are not going to promise anything. Heart cancer is very dangerous as you know. It means that the risks are very high, it might cause more stress to Mr. Ross' heart and cause it to fail. We don't know. But there is a possibility that we might be able to slow the growth down or prolong his life, thus giving him a greater chance to fight his illness in the traditional ways."
"But there is a chance that it will work?" Harvey had to ask. "There is hope?" He noticed that his voice was shaking a bit.
"It can't hurt to try it in this case, but you have to keep the side effects and the risks I just mentioned in mind. But from I understand Mr. Ross doesn't have a lot of options left."
"It's Mike. You can call him Mike."
She nodded and waited.
"His other doctors knows about this? Dr. Lundin?"
"I've spoken to them, yes."
Harvey paused for a moment. He almost felt dizzy all of a sudden.
"If there is any chance at all that it'll work, we'll do it." he said. There was no question about it.
They both smiled and Emil nodded happily.
"We will need to make tests." Dr. Jansson said. "I understand that Mr. Ross, Mike, is not doing so well now, so we'll wait a few days and of course talk to him. We need to get his consent and make sure that he is okay with this."
"He will be." Harvey said. "He will."
"Well, I would like to hear it from Mike. And Mr. Spector…"
"Harvey."
"Alright. Harvey. I don't want you to get your hopes up yet considering the risks and whether the test comes back satisfactory."
Harvey nodded. "I should get back to him, but I expect to see you soon."
They shook hands and Harvey was given a file with more information about the trial. Harvey brought it back to Mike's room and heavily sat down on his chair. Mike was still dead to the world and Harvey wished that he would just wake up.
He looked at the kid and down at the folder. What a day! Was this what he was holding in his hand the best birthday gift he had gotten today?
-SUITS-
So, what did you think about that? I didn't kill him! Just so you know, I never intended for Mike to not make it, of course I didn't. I couldn't do that. After all I named the story Beating the odds, so it was all in the title from the beginning JBut of course I can't resist hinting the opposite. It's not as interesting to read the story if you know how it's going to end from the start. That being said, anything can still happen. Hehe.
Anyway, let me know what you thought about this chapter. I love to hear what you think. Thank you so much for all the reviews from the last chapters.
This one is much lighter, I felt like that was needed.