Mike felt a lot better when he woke up a few hours later. He was practically laying in Harvey's lap. Harvey had placed a pillow over his chest and was resting his arm on it, so that he could hold his phone comfortable over Mike's head. He now glanced down on Mike and jerked a bit when he saw that he was awake.
"Oh, hi." He said and smiled.
"Hi." Mike said and smiled back.
"Feeling better?" Harvey asked carefully.
"Yes, thanks."
"That's good. That's excellent. Do you mind if I leave for a little bit then? I really have to."
"Oh, sorry." Mike said and started to sit up. "You know you can wake me for stuff like that. It's the middle of the day and all. I don't need that much sleep."
"Oh, I disagree. You definitely needed sleep."
Harvey disappeared to the bathroom and Mike smiled after him. He sank down on the couch again taking Harvey's place.
The rest of the day he spent on the couch. Harvey was there most of the time. He managed to eat some yoghurt for dinner and Harvey didn't say anything about it. He would probably be careful about it now. Mike wanted to forget the whole incident. It somehow hurt in him to think about it. He had really lost it again. He had been genuinely afraid that Harvey wouldn't want to stay with him and help him. He had been afraid of the fact that Harvey probably was mad at him. He had been desperate and had felt so bad that he just let it all out without any kind of filter. He didn't have any, at least not yesterday. Some of them might be in place by now though. Harvey kept saying he didn't need to control it. Mike didn't share his opinion about that. He was an adult for god sakes. He should be able to at least act like one a little bit.
Adam came over the next day and Harvey went to work. Before he left he had asked Mike if he really was okay with him leaving. He said that he could work it out if Mike needed him to stay. But he managed to convince Harvey that he was fine. He wasn't as nauseated as before which was such a relief.
"I have some news for you." Adam said after finishing changing Mike's bedsheets.
"Yeah?"
"You remember that we were talking about therapy groups before?"
"Yes."
"Well, I found you one that I think might suit you. What do you say about going over there?"
"When is it?" Mike felt a bit hesitant.
"They meet up twice a week, but I was thinking that once a week would be enough for you to start with. All the meetings are voluntary of course. You only go when you feel up for it."
"Okay…"
"The next one is on Thursday. What do you think?"
Mike shrugged, not really feeling all that excited. "I guess I could give it a go."
"That's my man! I'll call them then and let them know you are coming. It's a small group of people that are fighting cancer. They are not more than ten I think."
Mike nodded.
"They have groups for friends and family as well. Do you think Harvey might be interested?"
"Eh…I don't think so, but maybe. I can ask him."
"Yeah, you do that. You want to watch a movie or something then? Go for a walk?"
They ended up compromising and went out on the balcony with Mike's iPad.
That evening Mike brought up the therapy group with Harvey. Mike was a bit surprised with how excited Harvey became.
"I think that's a really great idea Mike. Great idea."
He wasn't that keen on going himself though and suggested that Mike would try it out first and tell Harvey how it was.
Thursday came a bit too quickly for Mike's liking. He had a hospital visit right before the session and had told Adam to wait outside ready to take him home if side effects hit him too soon. He felt oddly nervous the whole time he was being treated. He wasn't even sure he wanted to do it anymore.
Adam however didn't give him a chance to back out.
"I'll be right outside the whole time then." He said when they stopped in front of a door. "You are a bit early now, so you can go and introduce yourself to the group leader, Annika. She is real nice, I know here from earlier." Adam smiled at him.
"I can go with you inside if you want." He said when he saw that Mike hesitated.
"No, it's fine." Mike hurriedly said and then just opened the door.
He didn't know now why he had agreed to this, and after treatment as well. What if he threw up or something. The nausea was almost completely gone, but side effects would come. Damn it. What if he lost it or something? And what if the other people handled their diseases much better than he did? Or he was pretty sure they did. But he was here now, there was no backing out anymore. And besides, everyone seemed to think this was a very good idea.
A middle aged women with a scarf on her head turned around towards him when he opened the door.
"Oh, you must be Mike!" She exclaimed. "My name is Annika Rydberg. Adam told me you would be coming to us today."
"Yeah, hi. Thanks for letting me come." They shook hands.
"Of course, of course. We are so glad to have you." She smiled warmly. "Did you have treatment today?"
Mike nodded. "Yes."
"Oh. I hope we will be finished before it hits you then. Why don't we sit down?"
She led him to the opposite part of the room where a few couches and chairs were placed in a square.
"Please sit down." She pointed to a couch and sat down on a chair herself. "We will begin in about fifteen minutes. The others should start to drop in soon. We will be eight people today. Jonathan wasn't able to make it today, he is having surgery tomorrow."
"Okay." Mike said. He didn't know what else to say really. She didn't seem to care much though of his lack of answer.
"Is this your first time in therapy?"
"Yes."
"And are you feeling hesitant and uncomfortable right now?"
Mike couldn't help the surprised look that must have appeared on his face. "Oh, sorry. You just have that vibe." She added.
"Well, I'm not going to deny it then." Mike said.
"That's okay. We are all here to feel better, not the opposite. If you don't feel like talking, then you don't."
The door opened then an older woman slipped inside. She didn't really look that ill to Mike. She nodded a little to him, hugged Annika and sat down on her other side.
After that the other participants came one after the other. There were two older men, one that looked to be in Mike's age with a bald head and a younger girl that sat down next to him. She had a pink hat on her head. She smiled tiredly at Mike when he looked at her. He smiled back. The last person to arrive were a woman that looked to be a bit older than Harvey, but it was hard to tell, she might have been ten years as well.
"Okay, let's begin then." Annika said when they all were seated. "Welcome all of you, and especially welcome to Mike here. He will join us from now on."
They all nodded towards him and some of them greeted him with a hi or a welcome.
Mike nodded back and thanked them.
"I want to explain how we do this here, Mike." Annika continued. "We usually go the team around and everyone can tell us about something nice that have happened to them or if they want something they are struggling with at the moment. We talk a bit about that. Then we usually have a subject that we have a discussion about together. We decide which subject there will next time at the end of every session."
Mike nodded.
Then they started. Mike was thankful for not having to introduce himself or anything, but felt nervous about his own turn. At first he thought so much about what he was going to say that he couldn't focus on what the other participants were saying.
"And he refuses to go to school. Every morning is a fight." It was the middle aged woman in Harvey's age that were speaking now. Mike understood that it was her son she was talking about. The boy was scared that he would come home and his mum wouldn't be there anymore. Mike felt himself starting to feel uncomfortable. He didn't want to listen to this!
The woman wanted advice on how to handle her son's anxiety. Everyone got the opportunity to share their thoughts. They went around the circle and most of the other said something encouraging. They all looked at Mike when it was his turn, and he found himself tensing and wishing to leave. He looked at the woman. She smiled at him.
"Do you have any advice for me?" She asked him.
Mike suddenly had an urge to cry. "I don't know." He said not looking at anyone when he noticed that his voice waivered. "Just make sure that you part with him as friends. Don't part in a middle of an argument. It matters."
He glanced at her. She smiled kindly at him and thanked him. He felt stupid. It had been a stupid thing to say. What would that help her?
He couldn't let what she had said go though. He couldn't stop thinking about the boy that was afraid that his mom would be gone when he came home. In his case he had woken up in the morning and his mum had never made it home again. He hoped with all he had that this boy wouldn't have to go through the same as he had.
The young bald guy told the group a story about his cat breaking his girlfriend's favorite coffee mug and he managed to get a few laughs.
The young girl next to him talked about her parents and how worried they were for her. It seemed to be a reoccurring theme with her because the other asked her questions about it. Mike stayed silent. It was okay to stay silent Annika had said. You just nodded then, she had said. Mike nodded.
It was Mike's turn last. He still didn't know what to say and felt stupid. He didn't feel like pouring out his thoughts to this group of strangers who were all looking at him and waiting.
"Do you maybe want to tell us a little about yourself at first?" Annika asked. "Just so that we can get to know you a bit."
Mike wanted to point out that none of the others had told him anything about themselves.
"Like what?" He said instead.
"You can tell us anything you want. But maybe a little about your cancer, your illness history or your everyday life right now? Just a few sentences if you want, or your life story. It's entirely up to you."
Mike shrugged a little. "I have cancer in my heart." He said. He noticed the others reactions.
"Oh…" Annika said and the smile fell from her face. The older man next to him swore a little. And the middle aged woman in front of him looked shocked. Mike looked down on the floor.
"Do you want to tell us about it?" Annika hesitantly said after a minute of silence in the room.
"I don't know what to say. I noticed I had some trouble with doing everyday things, like riding my bike. I couldn't do it anymore. I wasn't able to keep up at work. I got checked out and they told me I had about a year left. I have fought it ever since I guess."
"I'm so sorry to hear this." Annika said. "We all are. Please continue. How has it been for you?"
Mike felt a bit uncomfortable with her condolences. They were all sick here, weren't they? He considered whether he should say he was sorry as well, but didn't. But he didn't know what they wanted to hear from him. How it had been? That was just a stupid question.
"It's… it hasn't been easy I guess. My heart has stopped a few times. I had two open heart surgeries. Had a bunch of complications. Fainted a lot, was in pain. Threw up. I got blind for a while too. And I got shot, but that didn't have to anything to do with the cancer." He smiled a little.
The guy next to him swore again.
"Where did you get shot?" The young girl asked then and Mike held up his hand.
"Wow." She said. "How did it happen?"
"I don't know if that goes here…" the group leader said.
"Oh come on."
"It was sort of a hostage situation at work. One of the guy's sister had had cancer so he kind of targeted me. He showed up at the hospital later and tried to strangle me."
"Oh god!" Annika said.
"What happened?" The girl asked.
"My… My friend showed up and tackled him. So I lived." Mike smiled a little at the girl.
"Cool." She said. "My hospital visits are never that exciting."
"Julie!" The middle aged woman exclaimed.
"What? Admit that chemo is superboring, Carin."
"I rather be bored than being strangled though." Carin said.
"Yeah. Maybe. Good that your friend was there."
"Yeah." Mike agreed. "Harvey is great."
"Do you want to tell us about Harvey?" The group leader quickly said. She probably wanted to steer the conversation away from strangulations in the hospital.
Did he want to tell them about Harvey? He hesitated for a bit until he found that yes, he wanted to do that.
"Harvey is my boss actually. But ehm… He is so much more now. I… I don't really have any family, or any support system, but Harvey stepped in to be both for me. I live with him now and he helps me with… well with everything. He is the reason I'm still alive."
"That's some boss you got there." One of the older man said. "Mine wanted to fire me."
"Yeah, he sounds great." Someone else said.
In the end it wasn't so bad with therapy. He ended up telling them a lot more about Harvey. It felt good to do so. It was easier to talk about what Harvey had done and was doing for him, than talking about the cancer.
He didn't take part in the discussion after, by then he had started to feel a bit off. They talked about medical personal and how they had been treated by them, brought up wonderful nurses or ignorant doctors. One of the older guys told them that he had visited the same doctor three times for his stomach ache and it wasn't until he went to another that he was taken seriously, by then his cancer had spread a whole lot.
When they had decided a topic for next time Mike slipped out of the room as the first person. Adam was sitting outside like he had promised and took Mike back home. When the nurse asked how it had been he just said that it had been fine.
Harvey also wanted to know when he got home.
"I was nice actually." Mike said. "A little weird maybe, sitting there and listening to when they brought up really personal stuff. One guy talked about how he hasn't told his daughter that he is sick yet, because he don't want her to be upset for the possibility of losing the only parent she has left."
"That's rough. And what did you talk about?"
Mike smiled a little. "Mostly about you actually."
"About me? What did you say about me?"
"Oh you know, what we say in there doesn't leave the room."
Harvey rolled his eyes and shook his head a little but didn't ask anything else.
"Are you going to go again?" He asked instead.
"Maybe."
"I hope you will." Harvey said. "I'm proud of you for going."
"Thanks." Mike said.
It was decided that since Mike seemed to be responding quite well on the trial drug at the moment they would try to increase the dosage a little and adjust it slightly. Mike wasn't thrilled about hearing that it would be adjusted a bit. He didn't always do well with adjustments apparently.
A few more days passed. Mike ended up not going to the next therapy session. He knew that Harvey was disappointed about that but Mike just said that it was his choice and that he might go again in the future. Harvey had to settle with that.
He had started to feel a bit off again. It annoyed him more than it should. But why couldn't he catch a break? This time it was dizziness he fought with. He took it up with his doctors but they decided to basically do nothing about it. It pissed him off, even though he didn't say anything. They apparently thought it better if he was dizzy than that they would change his medication again. Maybe they were right. And being dizzy was better than being nauseous so he shouldn't complain he tried to tell himself. He got dizzy and lightheaded from time to time, but he could deal with it.
Harvey had taken on a case that meant that he would be going to court. So he was pretty busy now. However Harvey stayed at home with him a lot. Sometimes he let him help out a little as well. Or they mostly discussed certain aspects of the case since Mike couldn't really do much else. It was nice though to discuss cases with Harvey. It was an opportunity for him to challenge his brain a little, something which he hadn't been doing a lot lately.
As the day for Harvey's court appearance came closer Mike started to notice a little change in Harvey. He was a bit stressed, even though he denied it when Mike teased him a little about it.
Mike whoever had other issues to worry about. Sometimes when he stood up he felt so faint that he had to sit down or even lay down again. It felt like he was going to pass out. It happened more frequently which kind of annoyed him. He had spoken to his doctor about it, but he didn't think it was much to worry about. He got a lesson in how to behave when he felt that it was coming. He was to stand up very slowly and if he felt that he was about to pass out he would lay down.
"So do you mean I should just lay down on the floor wherever I am?" Mike complained and imagined himself laying down in the grocery aisle, not that he went there much.
But the answer he got was yes, unless he wanted to pass out. He didn't want that so he practiced with getting up slowly now instead. It felt kind of stupid. The doctor had said it might be the medication again, but they didn't want to start changing it again so soon, so he just had to deal with it basically.
However despite his efforts it didn't always work. He passed out two days later when Adam was there with him. Luckily the nurse had been close by and had been able to catch him before he hit the floor.
It had been kind of embarrassing to wake up in the man's lap a minute or so later. Adam gave him a check over and then put him to bed. He ignored it when Mike said he could walk there by himself and insisted on holding on to his arm. He called Harvey as well that left the office to come home and see him.
"I'm fine." Mike insisted. "I just passed out a little."
"Yes, but passing out isn't something people who is fine does." Harvey said before turning to Adam. "Does he need to go to the hospital?"
"No, he doesn't." Mike said.
"At this point I think he is okay. I'm monitoring his heartbeats and breathing to make sure."
"I told you."
"You, be quiet and rest or something." Harvey told him. Mike rolled his eyes and reached for his headphones and iPad.
It was nice though, because Harvey stayed at home with him for the rest of the day and worked in Mike's room.
Mike suspected that Harvey and Adam had talked about him when he was sleeping or something because they were always there when he was getting up from then on. It turned out to be kind of a good thing because he passed out again the next day when he was about to get out of bed. Just as he was about to stand up everything turned black and he felt himself fall forward. Harvey had stopped his fall though and he woke up back in bed. Harvey went on about how he had to be careful and he made Mike promise to always make sure someone was there when he got out of bed or stood up from the couch. Mike thought it was rather stupid.
-HARVEY-
The case he was working on took up a lot of his time now. He felt a bit guilty about it but at the same time he loved it. And the fact that he enjoyed it so much made him feel guiltier, because the more he was working the less time he had for Mike.
Mike said that he didn't mind it though, but Harvey wasn't so sure. He knew that Mike enjoyed his company. So when he had to work from home he tried to do it in the same room as Mike was in at least. When he thought Mike felt up for it he involved him in the case as well. They had had some interesting discussions lately. Mike did come with some input that was useful. The kid's amazing mind was still working.
It felt good to go back to work on cases again. It had been a while since he had felt that it was possible for him to do so. He had cleared it with Mike, even though it didn't really seemed fair. He knew Mike wouldn't say no. But Mike was doing better and now when the whole thing with him not eating was over and done with he was doing pretty well, at least compared to a few months ago. He was far from healthy but he wasn't deadly ill either. Harvey knew that it all could turn in a blink of an eye, but they couldn't let that control their lives. Instead Harvey had started to work more. He still didn't leave Mike alone for more than a few hours though, that would take time before he did. No, Adam was with him when he had to go to the office to meet the client or had a meeting. Donna stayed with him too sometimes.
It was only two days left now until he was going to court for the first time in a long time. He was sure that he was going to win the case, but there were risks involved. The greatest of them being Mike. It didn't feel right to admit it but it was the truth. The greatest risk to the case was if something happened with Mike that forced him to miss the time in court. He hadn't told Mike about this but had made sure that Mike knew to be careful with what he was doing.
Mike's current issue was that he had started to pass out once in a while. It was something with his medication and blood pressure, Harvey wasn't entirely sure. But Mike had passed out twice now. Harvey had made the kid promise to call for help when he wanted to get up from somewhere. Mike hadn't really taken it that seriously and asked if Harvey expected him to call for help when he got up from the toilet as well. Mike had quieted when Harvey had said yes.
Mike was struggling with dizziness and Harvey tried to keep an eye on him whenever he was on his feet. Mike didn't seem that bothered by it though, but Harvey had been warned about what to look out for after a fainting incident.
Mike almost passed out the other day. It was around dinner and Mike was making his way from the table. Harvey was in the kitchen but saw him swaying where he stood and Harvey started to walk towards him.
"Maybe you should sit down." He said and grabbed Mike's elbow. Mike weakly made an attempt to push Harvey away though.
"I'm fine, okay." He tried, but Harvey didn't care all that much what he said. He just took another grip along Mike's arm and dragged him over to the couch just to push him down there.
"Just sit there."
Mike rolled his eyes at him and fell back against the pillows. "Fine…"
"What? It looks like you are going to pass out at any moment." Harvey sat down at his own desk.
Mike didn't say anything else, he just sat there with his eyes closed.
"I have told you to call for me when you want to walk and feel dizzy."
Mike glared at him a little.
"I felt fine." He insisted.
The next time it happened was on the worst time possible. It was the same day that Harvey was due in court. Of course it was.
Harvey had to leave at 10 am and unfortunately Adam wasn't able to work the morning shift that day, so he was set to arrive at noon. Harvey had deemed it fine for Mike to be by himself for two hours. Mike had said it was fine also.
Harvey was preparing himself by getting ready to go quarter to ten when he suddenly heard a dull thud coming from Mike's room. That couldn't be good. He had planned to wake Mike up and dump him on the couch before leaving. Now he dropped his suit jacket back on his bed and walked over towards Mike's room.
At first when he saw Mike in a heap on the floor all he felt was worry. He threw himself down on the floor next to the younger man and felt along his throat. You never know. But he had a pulse so Harvey carefully turned Mike over to lay on his back, his racing heart starting to slow down some.
"Shit!" He exclaimed when he saw Mike's face. He must have hit his head one something because half his face was already covered in blood. He was unconscious.
"Mike, wake up." He said and looked around the room for something to wipe up the blood with. He swore to himself when there was nothing. He rushed to the bathroom and was soon back next to Mike. He carefully wiped at the bloodied area. The kid must have hit the edge of the table because he could make out a pretty large wound. Shit!
"I need you to wake up here, kid." He said as he held both hands along Mike's face. His wish was granted because Mike groaned and his eyes fluttered opened.
"There you are." Mike's eyes focused on his own.
"Ow…" He whispered.
"Yeah, ow." Harvey sighed. "How are you feeling."
"What happened? My head hurts." Mike mumbled and tried to swat Harvey's hand that covered his forehead away.
"No, leave it. You hit your head. What were you thinking Mike?"
"What?"
"I have told you to not get up by yourself." Harvey said.
"I thought you had left already. I was going to check."
"You could have called for me."
"I thought you had left already." Mike repeated, not looking at him.
Harvey just sighed. "I need to take a look at this. Stay still." Mike did what he said, although he jerked a bit when Harvey removed the cloth he had used to stop the blood flow from the wound on his forehead. It looked bad, blood started immediately to stream from it. Harvey put the cloth back before it reached Mike's eye.
"Shit!" He couldn't help but saying. "It's going to need stiches. Damn it Mike!"
"Sorry." Mike mumbled.
"Yeah, why couldn't you just have waited. I have told you not to get up if no one is around. Did you forget that?"
"No."
"How hard it that to remember then? It that one of those things that are not the same, huh?"
"It's not like I did it on purpose Harvey!" Mike sounded a bit angry now, but so was Harvey.
"You know I have court today, right? Is this why you did this? You want to…" But he stopped himself before saying something he didn't mean. But it was too late.
Mike pushed him away now and pressed his own hand over his forehead as he sat up.
"Do you seriously think I got up and fainted on purpose to stop you from going to court?" He threw the question in Harvey's face.
"No. I just wish you wouldn't make a scene today of all days. For once I needed a day when I don't have to give all my attention to you. I don't have time to take you to the hospital right now, Mike."
"I don't need you to take me anywhere!" Mike yelled. "Just get the hell out of here to your damn court then."
"I will. But you need stiches."
"I'll go by myself." Mike tried to get off the floor, unsuccessfully. Harvey swore and dragged him up. Mike pushed him away as soon as he was standing. He stumbled a bit but was soon upright, he walked out of the room without another word. Harvey glanced at his watch and swore again when he saw that he had gotten blood on his sleeve. And he was already late.
By the time he had gotten redressed Mike had managed to dress himself as well.
"Look, I'll have Ray drive you to the hospital after he has gotten me to court. Adam will be home when you get back. I'll give him a call and let him know where you are."
"Fine." Mike said without looking at Harvey. He still had his hand pressed over his forehead.
"Is it still bleeding?" Harvey asked as they walked to the door.
"Yes."
Harvey clenched his teeth. Damn this. He didn't want it to be like this.
"Mike, I know you didn't do it on purpose. Sorry about… you know."
Mike just shrugged his shoulders. In the car when they were on their way Mike just leaned his head back with closed eyes.
"You know I would have gone with you if it wasn't for the case." He said before getting out at his stop.
Mike looked over to him then. "Yeah, I know. But it's fine. I know I should have just waited for you, but I was just worried that you had left already."
Harvey leaned in to the car again and quickly squeezed Mike's shoulder. He smiled a bit.
"See you later Mike."
Mike closed his eyes again and Harvey felt kind of bad when he watched the car drive away. It was not a great start of the day. But he couldn't think of this now. He texted Adam and then went into the building in front of him. He had a case to win right now. He would make it up to Mike later.
It went just as he had suspected. The win was easy and his client pleased. He wanted to take Harvey out to celebrate and he was very tempted to accept. Adam would be with them today, and maybe Harvey could ask him to stay a few hours longer. He promised to get back to the client with his answer and pulled out his phone. He had kept in on silence in his bag and now his heart skipped a beat when he unlocked the screen. Three texts from Adam along with five missed phone calls. He felt himself tense as he opened the first message, but it was just Adam confirming Harvey's message from that morning.
The second one was much more worrying though. It read: Mike's not home yet. His cell is here. Calling the hospital. It was sent around two in the afternoon. Mike would have been about four hours at the hospital by then. Harvey opened the next message that was sent just two minutes after the first.
Harvey, they said that Mike left the hospital in a cab about an hour ago. I need you to call me right away!
Harvey felt himself go cold as he read the message again. What the hell? It did not take an hour from the hospital to his place, not even with traffic.
He immediately dialed Adams number. The nurse picked up on the first signal.
"Harvey! Have you heard from him?" Harvey's worry increased. He had only heard Adam sound like that once, and that was when Mike had thrown up blood.
"What do you mean, have I heard from him? Where is he? What happened?"
"I don't know Harvey. I called the hospital. They said that they stitched Mike up and that he complained of a headache, so they wanted to do an MRI. Mike refused and said it wasn't necessary. They told him to come back if he felt worse and they let him go home when he told them that I was waiting for him. A nurse even put him in a cab. But Harvey, he never made it here. I don't know where he is."
"Oh shit!" Harvey breathed.
"I have been outside looking for him. I figured that he maybe didn't make it inside from the cab, but there is no sign of him. I'm in your lobby now trying to get hold of the cab that drove him, but no luck yet. I'm really sorry Harvey."
"Damn it, it's not your fault." He rubbed his face. "So what do we do? How do we find him? Should we call the police?"
"I don't know Harvey. The hospital said that he was in walking condition, but had a headache and was irritated."
"Alright, just keep calling for the cab company then. I'm on my way."
"Okay."
The ride home seemed to go on forever. Harvey placed a call to the hospital himself but didn't really get any new information.
Adam met him in his lobby and Harvey hadn't seen him look like that before. He had a lost look on his worried face.
"Have you heard anything?" He asked.
"No, have you?"
"Damn it! Where is he then? How long has he been missing?" Harvey asked as he felt panic creep up on him.
"Well, he left the hospital around one and now it's almost five, so four hours now."
"Oh my god. Four hours!"
"I couldn't haven't been able to get a hold of the cab driver that drove him." Adam said. "I went around in circles two blocks away, but why would he be further out? I he came by cab and they dropped him off around here, I would have found him. I was thorough."
Harvey nodded and pressed his hand hard against his face as he tried to think.
"I'm sorry Harvey." Adam said next to him.
"No, it's okay. Let's just… Let's call the police." Harvey pulled out his phone and dialed. When he got an answer he explained his issue and at first they were reluctant to help him. They said that maybe Mike had gone somewhere on his own for a bit. Harvey explained the heart cancer and that he didn't have his phone with him. That got a bit further with that. He was promised that they would look in to it and call him back. Harvey was angry when he hung up.
Adam was just standing there next to him. "Nothing?" He asked.
"They didn't know anything they will get back to me. They said that maybe he went somewhere on his own."
"Where would he go?"
"I don't know. He has nothing on him."
Harvey clenched his teeth hard and looked around. He felt truly scared. Where the hell was the kid? Where was Mike? He had been injured and now he was missing. And the whole thing with him passing out. What if he had passed out somewhere and was hurt worse? What if he…
He had to stop his thoughts there. He couldn't go there. No, this would work itself out. It had too, they would find him soon, or Mike would show up outside and sheepishly apologizing for making them worry. That could happen.
But they couldn't just stand around here doing nothing? Should they go out and look for Mike? But what if he did show up and no one was home? Should he send Adam out looking or should he go by himself? It felt important that the nurse was there when they found Mike, because what if he was hurt?
He felt himself jerk when his phone suddenly vibrated. Was it Mike? But it was just Donna, but that was actually good. She might be able to help. Maybe Mike had even gone to the office?
"Donna! Is it Mike, is he there?" He almost yelled.
"Ehm… Harvey? What are you talking about? No, Mike isn't here."
Harvey blew out some air. "Damn. He is missing Donna. He hit his head this morning and had to go to the hospital, but he never made it back from there. He left four hours ago."
"Oh my god Harvey!" She exclaimed. "Oh, no. Where can he be then? Do you think he is hurt?"
"I don't know Donna. I don't know what to do. Why are you calling?"
"I… I received a call from the police Harvey. They said they needed to speak with you. Oh god…"
Harvey's heart sped up yet again. Relief mixed with greater panic filled him. "It has to be about Mike! What did they say Donna?"
"Just that they needed to speak to you and to have you call them back as soon as possible. It has to be Mike right? Oh god. I'll text the number right away. Call me as soon as you can!"
She hung up before he had time to answer and seconds later a text with a number appeared on his screen. He met Adams eyes and nodded as he dialed.
When a male police officer answered Harvey introduced himself.
"Thank you for calling Mr. Specter. We have been trying to contact you. It's regarding a Mike Ross. Do you know him?"
"Oh thank you. Yes I do. Do you know where he is?"
"Yes, we are at the hospital with him right now. I need you to come down here. We need to talk to you."
"Of course, I'll come right away. Is he okay?"
The answer he got was kind of affirmative. The police officer then told him which hospital it was and hung up without Harvey getting the change to ask more questions.
He let out a deep breath and smiled at the nurse that worriedly looked at him waiting for his news.
"They got him at the hospital. Not his hospital though, another one. He is okay. They want me to come."
"Thank god! Hah! I'm so relieved. I've been so damn worried this whole time. Shit!" Adam laughed.
Harvey smiled too. "Me too. I'll just go then. Thank you for today Adam, I'll keep you updated."
Harvey hurried out to catch a cab. This hospital was closer to his place than Mike's normal one so it didn't take him long.
-MIKE-
His head was killing him. He felt dizzy at as well and kind of wanted to tell Ray to turn around so that he could go back home and lay down. But Ray would probably tell Harvey about it then, and besides that his head was still bleeding. Harvey had said he would need stitches. He didn't want that.
Ray had to help him out of the car and then followed him into the hospital as well were a nurse took care of him after a little while. She asked him if he needed a wheelchair and he shook his head, which turned out to be a bad idea since he lost his balance and almost fell to the floor. The nurse called for help and two of them brought him into an exam room. It was pretty embarrassing, but he was kind of grateful for it. He felt too unsteady to walk by himself if he was honest.
They let him lay down and someone removed the cloth he had on his head. They were talking to him but he didn't really listen. Someone cleaned his head and told him to stay still. A nurse sat next to him and held his hand. He was thankful for that because they poured something on his forehead that hurt. Someone held on to his head then and did something unpleasant. He was a bit worried when he realized that they were stitching him up. What worried him was how long it took for him to understand that.
After that someone had come and touched his head all kinds of ways, checked his eyes and even his ears. They told him to touch his nose and asked him a bunch of question that he answered more or less successfully. They had him lay down on a bed after that and his usual doctor showed up accompanied with a nurse.
"Hi Mike, how are you doing?" He asked and Mike just shrugged a little.
"I understand that you hit your head this morning. Do you think you can tell me how you feel?"
Mike looked over to him. "Dizzy, tired. And my head hurts."
The doctor nodded. "Okay, Mike. Can you tell me what happened this morning?"
"I was getting out of bed and I passed out. Harvey said I hit my head."
"What did you hit your head on?"
"The night stand."
"That must have hurt. Mike, my colleague's believe that you might have a concussion."
"Okay." Mike said.
"Mike, normally with patients that preforms like you did on your checkup we would like to do an MRI. Wait…"
He held up his hand when Mike started to protest.
"I know what you think of them, so I don't think it will be necessary in your case. I just need you to watch out for any complications and I will see you back here the day after tomorrow. Okay?"
"Yeah, okay. I don't want an MRI." Mike said. He just wanted the other to know that.
Dr. Lundin smiled at him. "Okay. I understand. Now Mike, is Harvey here with you?"
"No."
"Okay, I would like to keep you here for a while then."
"No. I don't want to stay. I'll be fine at home. Adam will be there."
"Adam, your nurse?"
"Yes."
The doctor looked at him and sighed a little.
"Alright. That's good." He patted Mike's shoulder a little. "We'll make sure you get home then, so that you can rest."
"Okay." Mike said and closed his eyes. He was just going to rest a little bit before he went home.
"Get a cab for him and put him in it. He has a professional nurse at home that will know the signs to look out for." He heard his doctor say, apparently not to him. He opened his eyes and saw that a nurse was there, he had forgotten about her.
He had to wait for some time before they had helped him up so that he could leave. He thought he nodded off a bit, or maybe they let him sleep. He felt confused. But he really wanted to go home, like a lot. In fact he didn't want to be here a second longer. He clumsily sat up and told the people in the room that. It took even longer and he got a bit annoyed. He even swore a bit at one nurse when she refused to let go of his arm as she led him through the corridor.
A cab was waiting for him outside the entrance. The nurse helped him inside and spoke to the driver. Mike just sat there and waited. Why couldn't they just go?
"Go!" He said. The driver glanced at him in the rear view mirror. He didn't look that happy Mike thought. "Just go." He repeated.
He kind of had trouble keeping his eyes opened. He felt really tired, and dizzy. He didn't want to be in the car anymore. What if he threw up? He didn't want to do that, not in the car. He didn't like cars.
Where were they? He didn't really know. He didn't like that. "Where are we?" He asked the driver.
"Almost there." Was the answer he got.
"Almost where?"
"At your destination."
Mike rolled his head along the seat and looked out. Which destantion? He didn't know. And where was Harvey? Why wasn't he here with him? He asked that as well, but didn't get an answer. God, what was happeneing? He actually didn't know.
He groaned a little and grabbed the door handle. He wanted to get out. He didn't want to be in a car. He wanted to find Harvey. He didn't know where he was.
"Hey, what are you doing?" Someone said.
"What?" Mike asked.
"You can't open the door while we are driving."
Mike looked at his hand and removed it from the handle. "Sorry." He said.
"Look man, are you doing okay?"
"No, I want to go home."
"I'm taking you home."
Mike groaned again. He really didn't feel good right now. Everything felt wrong. He felt so confused. He wasn't sure what he was doing here. And where was Harvey? He tried to remember, but it was hard to catch any of his thoughts long enough for them to make sense. He knew he had spoken to Harvey today. Harvey had been angry?
He needed to talk to Harvey. Where was his phone? He felt in his pockets but it wasn't there. Where was it? He asked out loud.
"I don't know. Did you forget it at the hospital?"
"I don't know." Mike said. He pulled a bit at his seatbelt and swallowed hard. He wanted out now.
"Stop." he said. "I want to stop."
"We are not there yet."
"But I want to get out."
"Yeah, okay." The driver said and turned the car over to the side of the road. He stopped the car and looked back at Mike. "Are you sure you are alright here?" He asked.
"What?" Mike asked and started pulling at the door handle. He needed to get out.
"Wait a bit. Hey, guy, I think I should just take you to your destination."
"No, I want to get out." Mike said and felt relieved when he managed to open the door and started to get out. However he couldn't move. Something restrained him. He felt a bit stupid when he realized when it was the seatbelt.
"Look man, I don't think it's a good idea. You seem a bit off. Let's just keep going."
Mike didn't answer as he fumbled with the seatbelt. It worked! He leaned forward and didn't like it at all. His head was really spinning. That wasn't good at all. "Oww…" He mumbled and held his head in his hands. He jerked a bit when someone touched his arm.
"Sorry man! I was just… do you need some help?"
"Yeah, my head hurts…" Mike said.
"Yeah, okay. Ehmm…maybe I should take you back to the hospital?"
"No, they said I could go home. I want to go home."
"We can go to your home, if you just put your foot back inside the car."
"What?" Mike asked. Where was his foot? He didn't know what was happening right now. And who was this man in next to him. Mike asked him.
"I'm driving you in a cab right now man. Do you even know that?"
"What?" Mike asked again.
His head was hurting. He didn't feel good. Someone was talking next to him. Then someone else answered. Someone touched his arm again. Mike looked the hand and then looked up. It was a police officer there now. That couldn't be good. He pulled his arm away. They spoke to him. They told him then that he needed go with them. Mike didn't want that at all. He hadn't done anything!
But the next thing he knew they practically lifted him out of the car. As soon as he got upright he felt how things started to go black and his legs didn't carry him. He was aware of someone shouting something way too loud and then he was being lowered onto the ground. They laid him down right there on the street. That felt slightly better. He didn't pass out. That was good.
It was very hard to lay down on the ground. Two people were sitting above him, they were both police. He didn't want to lay down anymore. When he started to sit up they both helped him. One was holding on to his arm and back and the other held his head.
"You doing okay? Are you feeling better?" They asked.
"I…I don't know." Mike said. Better than what? Or when?
"We are going to take you to the hospital." One of the policemen said.
"No." Mike moaned. He didn't want to go back there.
"I think that's where you belong right now. Can you tell me your name?"
"Mike."
"Okay, Mike. Are you ready to stand up?"
Mike wasn't but they didn't care, they just heaved him up and then they took him towards a police car. They were going to take him away. He didn't want to go with them. He tried to get them to let go but it didn't work.
"No… no. Please." He said. They just told him it would be alright.
They placed him in the car, in the back, and he was scared. He didn't know what he had done wrong. Was it the fraud thing? It couldn't be. Where was Harvey? He needed to help him. Where was he? Why wasn't Harey with him?
"Where is Harvey?" He asked the police sitting next to him now. They were moving. "Where is he? Where is he?"
"Who is Harvey?" The police asked.
"Harvey…" Mike whispered and held his head. He just wanted to sleep.
"It'll be alright." The police said.
Suddenly they were stopping. Mike realized that it was a hospital. But it was the wrong one.
"No, not here." He told them. "Not here. I…"
"Come on." Someone said. They pulled him out of the car and they were walking, both of them holding on to him. He didn't like it.
They sat down on a bench inside. Mike felt nauseated and so incredibly confused. What was going on? And most importantly, where was Harvey? Harvey would help him. He would take him home.
"Mike, can you tell us what happened to you today?" One of the policemen was in front of him. "Can you think back and tell us?"
Think back, think back. What had happened? Harvey had been mad at him, that's right. Was that why he wasn't here?
"Mike?" They touched his arm.
"I hit my head. Harvey… he was angry."
"Harvey was angry and you hit your head? What happened after that?"
"I…I went to the hospital."
"Okay. And can you tell us about Harvey? Who is he? Where is he now?"
"I live with him. And…and he is in court. Or he was. I don't know where is now. Where is he?"
"Mike, do you know where we can reach Harvey? What is his last name?"
"It's Harvey Specter."
"Okay. That's good Mike. A doctor is here to look at you now. We'll talk more later."
Mike didn't want to talk anymore to them. They took him to his second exam room that they and they checked him over. People were talking but he was done answering questions now. He wanted to go home and just sleep. He wanted them to leave him alone, but no one seemed to care.
Someone removed the bandage over his forehead, he had no idea why. They had just put it there. He wanted to lay down, but they wouldn't let him. They asked more questions but he didn't want to answer them. He wasn't sure he knew the answers anyway. He just wanted to leave. He was starting to get upset. He tried to push someone away from him.
Someone was saying his name over and over in front of him. He managed to look at them.
"Mike, are you listening now?"
Mike nodded a little.
"Good. We have to perform an MRI on you at this point. We don't know how badly you have hurt your head. Do you understand?"
"No… no MRI. I don't need that. I…I'm…I'm. No."
"Yes, I am afraid we have to. You have hurt your head and you are confused. You are showing signs of brain trauma."
"No, they said I didn't need it." Mike closed his eyes and brought a hand up to his head. Someone took it down again.
"It'll be fine. It won't take long." They said.
The next thing he knew he was on a wheelchair and then inside a room with the dreaded machine. As soon as he saw it he started to panic. No, no, no. He couldn't do it. He couldn't. They had said he didn't need it. He started panting and tears appeared. He tried to get up and leave but someone held him.
"No, no…" He said. "No." He looked around the room for someone he recognized but there was no one. He rocked back and forth in the chair. He couldn't do this. He tried again to get up. He screamed when then pushed him back. They wanted him to get up on the gurney then. He screamed again. He wouldn't! He wouldn't do it! They couldn't make him! And they had said that he didn't need it. They had and now they were forcing him to do it anyway.
More people were in the room. They lifted him up and on to the gurney. They said his name, tried to tell him something. All Mike tried to do was to get away. He screamed again. He screamed for Harvey. Harvey needed to come and help him! He tried to push the hands holding him away. He might even have hit someone.
Loud voices next to him. He was being moved. They lifted him again. He fought them. He screamed. He was pushed down onto something soft. Hands were on him and something were strapped around his arms and ankles. He screamed again. He was stuck. He was strapped down. He was panting and crying. It was hard to breathe. He wanted Harvey.
Why wasn't Harvey there? He couldn't understand. Why wasn't he helping him? Was Harvey mad at him? Mike didn't know what he had done. He didn't stop screaming though. The crying wouldn't stop either.
-HARVEY-
Harvey went straight up to the reception when he arrived at the hospital. He didn't see the two police officers until they were standing behind him and one of them cleared his throat and asked if he was Harvey Specter.
"Yes, I am. Where is Mike Ross?" He asked.
"Why don't we talk over here?"
"No, how about you just tell me where Mike is?"
"We want to talk to you first."
"Tell me he is alive first." Harvey said then when a horrible thought hit him, his heart almost stopped and immediately he felt tears burn in his eyes when he saw how they both looked at each other.
"Why would you ask that?" One of them said.
"Because you called me over here and now you want to talk to me before letting me see him. Tell me now! Is he alive?!"
"Yes, yes of course he is alive. Please, sir calm down."
"Damn it!" Harvey swore and wiped his eyes angrily. Damn he had been scared. He sat down heavily on a bench. "Let's get it over with."
"Alright. We are interested to know your relation to Mike."
"I'm his boss. He lives with me, I take care of him."
"He is your employee?"
"Yes. What is this about?"
"Do you want to tell us what happened today between the two of you?"
Harvey sighed. "Mike fell out of bed and hit his head on a table."
"Was that all? Mike said that you were angry."
"He did? Well, I… I guess I was. I was stressed."
"Stressed about what?"
"What the hell is it with all these questions? I need to see Mike. You do know he was heart cancer right?"
The officers exchanged a look and by their expressions Harvey got his answer.
"Yes, that's why he lives with me. That's why he passed out this morning, it's some kind of side effects of his medication. Look, what did he tell you really? What happened? Why are you involved?"
"A cab driver caught our attention and Mike was behaving strange. He was slurring on his speech and had trouble walking. He nearly passed out when he helped him out of the car. We suspected that something had happened to him so we took him to the hospital." One of the officers said and then hesitated. The other continued.
"We spoke to Mike and he mentioned you. He said he hit his head and that you were angry."
"And what, did you think I abused him?" Harvey almost smiled, but stopped right away. "You thought I hit him?"
"Yes, we suspected domestic abuse."
Harvey rubbed his face. "Well, you are mistaken. Now, take me to him."
"They are examining him."
"We are done then." He left them after that, he couldn't care less. His sole priority now was finding Mike. He wasn't going to let anything stop him. He needed to see if the kid was alright. By the sound of it from the police, Mike had been in bad shape. He had to almost threaten a nurse to be able to speak to a doctor that had examined Mike. When an older doctor showed up Harvey demanded to know where Mike was immediately. The doctor wanted to know how he was and when he said his name he could see a recognition in the man.
"He asked for me?"
The doctor nodded. "We decided to take him for an MRI, but he was very uncooperative. We are letting him cool down for a bit as we speak, we are worried he has something in his system so we have avoided sedatives at the moment."
"An MRI? Damn!" He shook his head. Harvey didn't like what he was hearing on bit. This was really bad. He felt so angry right now that he had a strong urge to hit this man in front of him.
"Did you even bother to find out anything about him? He has fucking heart cancer. MRI:s are really traumatic for him, you might have caused him to have a heart attack. He has had one before with them. Take me to him right now!"
The doctor didn't say anything else just started walking quickly down the corridor.
Harvey heard Mike before he saw him. He pushed the doctor away and stormed inside the room. What he saw there hit him like a train to the chest. He actually stopped midstep. Mike was strapped down to a bed. He was actully tied up! They had tied him up. Mike was sobbing and trashing widely on the bed. A nurse was uselessly trying to calm him. He wasn't attached to anything at all.
Harvey went into action. He pushed the surprised nurse to the side and told her to leave. She looked at the doctor at the door and he nodded. Harvey was finally with Mike.
"Damn it…" He whispered to himself. "Mike! Mike! I'm here." His voice broke a little he felt tears come to his eyes at the sight of the kid. What had they done to him? What had he done to Mike?
He went up close to the bed and leaned down over Mike and carefully placed a hand along Mike's face. The kid responded by violently shake his head.
"Mike, Mike. It's me. It's Harey. Hey, I need you to look at me. I'm here now. I'm here." He had to wipe his eyes. He put his hand on Mike's chest and stroke it up and down. Mike was panting. It was a miracle that something hadn't happened with his heart. But it still could, he needed to get Mike calm. He tried again.
"Mike. Mike. Please listen to me. It's Harvey." He spoke louder this time.
And finally he got a reaction from Mike. His eyes flickered towards Harvey and they looked eyes. Harvey could see when Mike realized who he was. He let out a loud whimper and panted.
"Ha-ha-Har…Harvey."
"Yes, it's me."
Mike's lips trembled as he opened his mouth and closed it several times. But then the words flew out of him.
"He-help me! Help me, help me, help me-e. Please, help me. Harvey, please help me. I wan't to leave." He sobbed.
"I will, I will. I will help you. Of course I will. Please calm down. I will help you." He tried to keep his voice calm for Mike's sake. What he really wanted to do was scream.
Mike just cried heartbreakingly. Harvey kept talking to him while he with shaking hands started to remove the strap along Mike's wrist. He got it free and grabbed Mike's hand in his. It wasn't that smart, because Mike latched on to him hard, like he thought he needed to hold on to keep Harvey there. Which he probably thought, Harvey sadly supposed.
"Mike, I'm right here. I want to remove the other straps."
"No! Please help me!" Mike yelled when Harvey tried to loosen his grip.
"Okay, okay, okay." Harvey shakenly answered. "I am. I am helping you."
He found a call button instead and pushed it. Almost immediately a nurse emerged like she had been waiting right outside the door.
"Get this off him!" Harvey ordered her. Mike pulled at his hand and Harvey leaned closer to him.
Mike repeated his name again and again, and Harvey yet again got tears in his eyes. He whispered to Mike again and again that he was there, that he was helping, that it would be okay.
When Mike was loose the nurse left again after that Harvey glared at her.
And Harvey did the thing he thought would help the most. He laid down next to Mike and brought his arms around the younger man. Mike pressed himself against him and just cried. He was trembling and shaking. Harvey was worried and stroke his back. He could feel Mike's fingers bore into him.
For some time they stayed like that. Eventually Mike's shaking lessened, he wasn't crying as much anymore. Harvey moved back a little to be able to see him.
"You feeling better?" Harvey carefully asked.
"I want to go." Mike said. "I want to leave. I want to go home."
"We can do that."
"Now?"
Harvey nodded. "Mike, I need to talk to your doctors. Do you understand? I need to go outside and talk to them. I'm not leaving you here. I'm just going to talk to them."
To his surprise Mike nodded.
Harvey managed to get off the bed and stood up. "You okay?" He asked.
"You'll come back." Mike said and started to sit up. Harvey didn't know if it was a question or a statement. But he confirmed anyway. He helped Mike sit on the edge of the bed.
He went out into the hallway and found the nurse and the doctor standing not far away. Harvey kind of wanted to kill them. He almost felt like he was shaking as well.
"What you did to him…" He started. "You could have killed him. He has heart problems and you treated him like he was some kind of wild animal. You could have killed him!"
"I'm terribly sorry. We have misjudged the situation severely and…" The doctor started to say, but Harvey didn't let him finish.
"I don't want to fucking hear it. This won't be the end of things. You will hear from me again, right now I need to take care of Mike. Get me a wheelchair for him." He turned around and walked back inside.
Mike was gone!
Harvey came to a halt and stared at the empty bed. It was no way that the kid would have been able to get pass him. Where was he?
"Mike?" He called. He heard something and went around the bed. Mike was sitting there on the floor. He had pressed himself close to the wall in the corner between the wall and the bed. He was hugging his knees to him. Harvey couldn't understand how he had managed to get there. Mike was rocking himself slightly back and forth, like he was trying to calm himself down. Harvey swallowed and knelt down next to him.
"Hey kid." He said. Just then the door opened and Mike whimpered. It was the nurse with a wheelchair.
"Oh…" she said when she saw them.
"Leave." Harvey said and turned back to Mike.
"We are leaving now. You and me. It's okay now. We are leaving Mike." He took Mike's hand tried to get him to meet his eyes. Mike didn't really react and Harvey didn't know what to do? Should he just lift the kid off the floor or should he wait until Mike was more there?
"Hey, Mike." Harvey laid a hand along Mike's cheek. "It's okay now." He said firmly as Mike's eyes flickered towards him.
Mike nodded this time and Harvey slowly helped him up and down into the wheelchair. Mike sat slumped in it and gripped the armrests hard in his hands.
Harvey kept talking to him as he walked through the corridor and eventually out of the hospital. He quickly found a cab and helped Mike inside it. Mike seemed to relax a little more when they were inside of the car.
"We are going home right, Harvey?" He suddenly said. "We are going? I want to go home." His voice was shaking and he sounded like a child. Harvey nodded and tried to smile at him. Mike didn't say anything else during the ride home. He kept rocking himself a tiny bit back and forth though. It hurt in Harvey to see it.
Harvey got him up to the condo and to his relief Adam was there waiting for them. Harvey had texted him at the hospital and asked if he could come over and check Mike over. The nurse had agreed and he now helped Harvey to get Mike inside his room and down onto the bed. Mike barely acknowledged the nurse but let him examine him. Adam gave them his okay and left soon after. Mike was a bit out of it but both his heart and head were okay enough.
Mike just laid there now and Harvey wasn't even sure that the younger man knew Harvey was there. He was just staring out into the room and blinking slowly. Harvey squeezed his shoulder a little.
"I'll be right back." He said. "I'll get your pills."
"Nooo…" Mike said then, all of a sudden looking much more aware, but then he started to cry so suddenly that Harvey almost took a step back. He wanted to cry himself when Mike started to apologize. Again and again he said that he was sorry. He just laid there and made no attempt of doing anything else.
"Okay, okay, okay." Harvey said and laid down on the bed next to Mike. He pulled the kid towards him and they laid just like they had at the hospital. Mike cried himself to sleep. When Harvey was sure that the younger man was sleeping he allowed himself to cry a bit as well.
-SUITS-