A/N: Ok, this was like the hardest chapter to do. So sorry to any Beckett fans out there! Constructive criticism is always welcome!

Carson

I don't know why I let him talk me into things. He wouldnae sit still, or stop complainin', 'til I released him. I should jist be happy he stayed overnight. But now the infirmary is finally quiet. Gone is the colonel, and his bloody nightmares, and his constant attempts to leave. Against my better judgment, I always let him go. He has a lot on his mind, of course, a lot to worry about. But these heroics have to stop.

Stop before I can't fix him.

Stop before he's finally dead.

As long as I've been in this City, I've noticed a change in the colonel. The most peculiar things happen when he's about. Although he pretends it dinnae effect him, I see the wee changes. There are times when even I can feel Atlantis, but really only when I'm very, very tired. Or when I'm near John in the infirmary. Now that's a completely different experience. Sometimes if it's too bright for one of his stellar headaches, the lights will dim. When he's spendin' the night or two, he may think it's cold. And on more than one occasion, I have to turn the heat down.

Ta be perfectly honest, I envy the lad every now and again. Not only because of his dominant gene – although it would be nice not to have to use a palmplate to open every bloody door. He's fearless. I seriously doubt that man has met a machine he cannae fly. When it comes to his team, he can be tireless, relentless, and ruthless, as long as everyone gets back safely.

He won't give up.

Except when it comes to himself. I'm no psychiatrist, but I'm sure it is pure guilt that drives the man. Guilt that pushes him so far – too far – into ultimate danger of breathin' his last breath. One day, I'd like to know the whole story. Yet, it's hard enough jist to get a list of aches and pains out of the man. He has that annoyin' ability to file away pain, and if it shows at all, it must hurt three times as bad. As soon as he stepped – or, rather, pushed – through the 'gate, I knew he'd try to walk to the infirmary. So stubborn! Couldnae even keep his head up! The pain and exhaustion alone wouldae put me down. But I saw the fierce determination in his face as he walked next to me. I only caught him a couplae times when he swayed a bit too far. Dead on his feet, that one.

Casey Weber had effectively put the colonel to sleep sometime last night. And I was actually able to get a full night's sleep myself. Nearly forgotten what that was like. Walking lazily down the bright corridor, I stop off for tea and a muffin. Eventually, I wander into that familiar sterile place. The very first thing I do when I come into the infirmary is check his vitals. I'm quite pleased to see he's still asleep. Gently touching his wrist to check his pulse, I see his eyes snap open. Bugger. It was bound to happen, sooner or later.

"How long?" The first question he usually asks when he's been asleep.

"Oh, about twelve hours. And yes," I say, not waiting for the next question. "Elizabeth is fine. Jist gonna be sore for a wee bit."

And now he wants me to let him go. I asked a few routine questions, merely wantin' to hear him speak. In such a short time, I've come to recognize the colonel's habits. The way he carries himself, his breathing, and his eyes, all indicators of when he's well and hurt. They say the eyes will tell ya a lot about a person. If I watch him very carefully, I can see behind that mask of his, however briefly.

Right now, he spoke to me quickly, answerin' every question calm and controlled. I had planned to release him anyway, as he did stay overnight, before he started hollerin'. It's now seven in the mornin', and I'm watchin' him pick impatiently at the blanket that covers him; I cannae help but to study him. I took a deep breath. "All right. Ya can go."

The blanket nearly slaps me in the face as the colonel leaps out of the bed. I lay a hand on his good arm. "John. Touch nothing for a week. You really need to rest for the next few days. Are ya listenin'?"

He gave me one of those smiles. All innocence and charm. "You got it, Doc." He slid off the bed, and nearly fell. But he's gotten pretty good at catching himself. "I'm good, Carson. Swear. Just got up too fast." He waves me away briskly. "I'll return these later," he says with a grimace, pointing to the scrubs. Collecting his torn and bloody clothing from a nurse, he's gone. I hoped that he would at least sleep a few more hours before I see him hauntin' the halls like a restless spirit.

Sighing once again, I turn to my trusty nurse. "Well, Casey," I say triumphantly, arms akimbo. "'Tis a fine day fer inventory."

After endless meetings and questions about the colonel, I head back to the infirmary to catch up on some paperwork. Elizabeth seemed fine when I saw her, but I could tell Sheppard's absence made her a little nervous. With work nearly done, I make a late break to the commissary. I've a bounce in my step, I notice. No off-world missions today, and no accidents on the mainland or in the city. There's tea and a delightful stuffed Athosian bread with some sort of cheese and native vegetables. I'm a wee bit surprised that there's any of it left. Quite lovely, this bread.

As I sit glancing around the dining hall, I don't see the colonel around as I'd hoped. The dinner crowd has already gone, so I'm virtually alone. It was almost 9 p.m. Atlantis Time, of course. Maybe I'll stop off at Colonel Sheppard's before headin' back. Honestly, I hope that he's either asleep or has already eaten. Well, no, actually both. He'd lost some weight since the last time he stayed in the infirmary. Ah feel like a bloody broken record when it comes to that man. Eat. Get some rest. Call if you have any symptoms.

Rodney just entered the room, harassing the poor bairns behind the counter. Shaking my head, I stare into the dregs of my tea. It reminded me of Radek tellin' a story of his grandmother. Very interestin' woman. The Old World people had such a different–

"Hey, Carson."

Startled out of my memories by the brash scientist, I choked "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Could ya nae do that, Rodney?" Ma tea cup nearly went flyin' 'cross the room.

Rodney looked pensive, and a little distracted. Now, here's someone who needs sleep. He wasn't as good at hiding it as the colonel was, for there were many layers to John Sheppard. Rodney McKay had just as many, however, they were out for the whole world to see.

"Mmm. Sorry, Beckett. I didn't realize you were reading your tea leaves. How's your future looking? Are ya rich yet?"

I feel my eyes roll. Sometimes, they did that. "What can I do fer ya, Rodney?"

"Have you seen Sheppard?" He was tapping the table impatiently with a chewed fingernail.

If the colonel was sleeping, I wasn't about to send the caffeinated scientist to his door. Yet, ah'm sure he's already been there. "Not since this morning."

"You released him? He looked like death, and you released him?"

Not that he'd be needin' any explanation about my practices, I nodded calmly. "Yes, Rodney. Ah did." Lookin' him squarely in the eye, I point a severe finger at him. "He's not to touch anything for at least a week. Understand me?"

He waves a hand blithely at me. "Fine, fine." Frowning into his coffee cup, he rises. "Need more coffee..."

"Ya might wanna lay off the caffeine there, Rodney," I call to him. Again he waves me off.

This seems like the best time to return to the infirmary. Get out before McKay decides to follow me. I slip out before he sees me, and walk briskly towards my office. Nothing of consequence has happened in my absence, so I feel quite comfortable leaving a clean desk to the night shift. A thought occurs to me. "Casey? Any news from Colonel Sheppard?"

"No, Doctor. Not even for an aspirin."

"Thank you, Lannie. I think I'll go check on him before I turn in." I say my good nights, and exit my second home.

The lights in the corridor have dimmed for the night. Although I possess the ATA gene in fair amounts, I wouldnae want to be in the colonel's shoes. Being in the military may seem an advantage, but really for him, it was an added responsibility. The poor lad had enough to worry about. Shuffling down the corridor, I hear Rodney's plaintive voice down the corridor, arguing with someone. As I round then bend, I hear, "Go to bed, Rodney. That's an order." Och! What is he doin' out here bletherin' with McKay?

The lanky, dark-haired man comes into view, head bowed. "Colonel Sheppard," I say, doin' my level best to keep calm. Then he sees me, and freezes like a deer in headlights. Now I watch him quite closely, noticing his pale complexion and the faint smudges under his eyes, which are squinting at me in the dim lighting.

Headache.

He walked stiffly, even tossed me a carefree smile. But whether he knows it or not, he walks in a certain rhythm when he's really hurting. Yes, I notice all these little things about John Sheppard, and I still bend to his will. But he makes my life a livin' hell if I don't let him leave. A network of spies keep me informed, and I try not to get too far away. I'd rather he was calm, layin' about in his own bed, preferably sleeping.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Pick yer battles.

Tonight, his walk is slightly altered as he means to pass me. I cannae let that happen jist yet. "What are ya doin' outta bed, son? Ya need to be restin'." Please! Jist sleep for one night. No one would bother ya I'd make sure of it. Besides, yer not the only one who can lock a door, ya know. Ah've been practicin'. Stepping closer to Sheppard, I quietly say, "Ya took a sound beatin' yesterday, ah don't need ta remind ya. Give yer body a chance to heal." Giving him one last look, I see it. A tiny slip o' the mask. "Are ye in any pain?" A stupid question, I know, but it's a habit.

Another smile slides across his face. He is about to lie to me. "I'm good, Carson. Really." I dinnae believe him, of course, but he couldae at least looked me in the eye. "I have to take care of something real quick, and then I'll be tucked up in bed before ya know it." Now he flashes teeth in a wide grin. "Promise."

He stiffly raises his hands, placing them on my shoulders. Spinning us around, we switch places in the corridor. As he pulls away, I catch his wrist lightly in my hand, starin' him straight in the eye. "Eat something, and have a couplae naps. Call if you need anything." My mantra. Holding his wrist, I quickly check his pulse. I'm sure he's on ta me, but I don't care. His pulse is racing, and he's a wee bit on the warm side. Then I let go, trying to look defeated, as if I'd lost another round.

He grins his affable grin, and this time his amusement reaches his eyes. Giving me a mock salute, he turns around, heading towards the control room. "See ya later, Carson."

Later. Obviously, he knows it's late. The dawn came a wee bit earlier on this planet. Well, I'm sure he'll be checkin' on Elizabeth. Most likely, it's the reason he was so determined to get past. I sneak another look before he disappears around the bend. The rhythm of is walk has changed again. The colonel could drop where he stood, but not until he completes what he set his mind to.

I start walking towards my quarters, but I hear Rodney's shuffle before I see him. Backing slowly away, I head to the infirmary. He looks as though he's about to say something, but I duck through the doors, willing them to shut. Lock! I move quickly to my office, ignoring the looks from assorted nurses. Then understanding dawns when they hear Rodney outside.

Whenever the colonel said no to touchin' Ancient gadgets, I know I'm in trouble. That abrasive man would hunt me down at times. The DNA I possess isnae nearly as strong, but it'll get the job done. Still, I know I'll break it eventually. Makes me nervous.

I decide I've hidden out long enough for Rodney to lose interest. Maybe he'll go to bed for once. Approaching the doors, I concentrated on the doors to unlock them. Before they open, I hear Ronon and Teyla laughing. If that doesnae throw Rodney off, nothin' will. Smiling apologetically to the nurses, I bid them a final good night.

Now, let's see about another night's sleep. A thrill goes up my spine as I think about my soft bed. Rather excitin' the prospect of hours of sleep.

Good night, ma wee bairns! Stay outta trouble!

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I know. It was kinda lame. Be easy on me! I'm new! ;)