So…another Hellsing fic…I am just so inspired lately. Lots I can write about, but so little time…Well, here it is. Hope it amuses you. More humor.

In the center of the Hellsing mansion, in a dark, lonely office, a tall blonde woman hung up the phone. For a long time after she glared at the phone, as if her icy stair could somehow undo the words said. Realizing that that was impossible, she closed her cold blue eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Arucard!"

"You called, Master?" The tall, dark haired vampire rose out of the office floor in a black shadow. At her desk, Integra was staring at him. Studying him, it seemed. Thoroughly looking him over. "Did you call me to inspect me?" Arucard asked, slightly unnerved by his master's sudden interest in him.

Integra sighed and got to her feet. Folding her arms across her chest, she said, "I have a mission for you, Arucard."

The vampire relaxed a bit. "A mission of what sort?" He still was cautious, as she was still staring at him in a strange manner. "Well…" She paused and furrowed her brow, thinking of the right words to say. Arucard knew that look all too well. She was about to say something she was very unaccustomed to.

She cleared her throat, regaining her composure, but still looking a tad unsure. "As you know, I am a Round Table Knight." She began. Arucard nodded.

"And this honorable title often leaves me with certain…obligations."

"Go on."

"These are obligations that I can not refuse."

"Yes."

"But seeing as I am leaving today for the day on a very important meeting…"

"Continue, Master."

"With Walter being on vacation…"

"I do seem to recall that, yes."

"And Seras gone for the day on training you sent her to do…"

"I did send her."

"Of course Captain Bernadette and his mercenaries are still her, but I wouldn't trust him with this mission."

"This mission being…?"

With a sigh, Integra finished, "I need you to baby sit Sir Islands granddaughter." She said quickly. Arucard's trademark glasses fell to the floor, not being able to stay on his face after the drastic change his face took on. He stared at her with his head tilted slightly to the side. "Master, I don't believe I heard you correctly."

"You heard me correctly, Arucard. I need you to baby sit. Normally I would slit my wrists before trusting you with a Round Table Knight's granddaughter, but I'm out of options." She sank back into her chair, covering her face with a gloved hand. "Master, this isn't exactly what I would call a mission for someone like me…" He said, almost nervously. "You think I don't know this? It's as I said: you are my last resort. So please, Arucard, make this work." She looked him in the eyes, and he could practically see the word "Stressed" emblazoned on her forehead.

It amused him. This whole situation was amusing him. After all, at the price of watching one little girl, he got to see his master more strung out than Walter when he hid the tea kettle from the butler.

"As you command, Master. I'll do my best. You can trust that she will be just fine with me." He said, giving her a mock bow. She groaned and muttered something like, "What have I done?"

Outside, she heard the distinct sound of gravel crunching in the driveway. She started and got quickly to her feet. "Damn, They're early." She grumbled. She walked briskly to the door. "Arucard, that is the same car that is taking me to London today. In it is your charge for the day, so I suggest you come with me." She said angrily, tugging on her coat.

Arucard followed her downstairs to the front door, which Walter would already have had open were he there.

(Meanwhile, in Disney land, a certain butler wearing mouse ears could feel his "Butler senses" tingling.)

Integra opened it and was greeted by the stern face of a chauffer. "Sir Hellsing?" He asked. Integra nodded. The man bowed and gestured to an area around his knee. Looking down, Integra and Arucard laid eyes on a little girl, half hidden behind the elderly man's legs.

She had short, curly black hair, large green eyes, and an adorable over all appearance. The girl shifted her weight from one foot to the other, slightly rustling the fabric of her yellow and green sundress. In the sheer cuteness of it all, Integra almost felt the urge to squeeze her cheeks. Then she mentally slapped herself for ever feeling such a way.

"This is Lady Marie. I trust you have the arrangements for her stay in order?" The man said. "Yes. She is in more than capable hands." Integra assured. For a moment the man stared warily at Arucard, but made no attempt to comment.

After a brief moment of goodbyes, Introductions, and in one case, a threat, Arucard watched his master drive down the driveway and out of sight. Grinning to himself, he closed the front door and looked down at Marie. She was looking at him, too. But in a much different way than he expected.

"So you're my new Victim." She said sweetly.

TO BE CONTINUED…

And it will. Just you wait. Poor, poor Arucard. Give me your feedback, and updates will go a lot faster. please