Beating the odds

by LioSky

Something was going on with Mike, and it wasn't anything good. He felt it, and Harvey had noticed it. It was not like it was the first time either. But this time it was nothing that either of them could control. As it turns out Mike is sick, really sick. He is going to need help, and a lot of it.

76. Chapter 76 - Looking forward

Chapter 76.

Mike laid in bed staring up in the ceiling, thinking about earlier, about Harvey's nightmare. It had surprised him a lot that Harvey had nightmares about him, it probably shouldn't but it had. It moved him though, that Harvey worried about him. It always did even though he knew that of course Harvey worried. Lately he had even thought that Harvey worried a little too much. He worried just as much now that he had done when Mike had been close to dying. He was fine now, at least compared to then.

Sometimes it was a bit difficult to navigate through this new situation of him feeling a little better. Gone was the constant worry that something terrible would happen at any time. There had been times like that before when they hadn't been able to fully relax. At least Mike hadn't. Then the thought about that his heart might fail him at any time had been there. He didn't think like that anymore. Generally, he was feeling better. He had a little more energy than before, didn't sleep as much, had a better appetite. They had also lessened his medication a bit, which had felt like a huge step in the right direction.

Now he wasn't sure that Harvey saw thing the same way as he did. Harvey still worried just as much as before. He still thought there was a possibility that Mike's heart would give out, and maybe there was, but it didn't feel like that anymore. He didn't think he would be able to convince Harvey that he was better with just a feeling though. Harvey needed more.

They weren't really in a hurry though. Recovery was going to take a lot of time. He was going to have more bad days; he was going to be sick for a long time still. He still had a lot of hospital visits in his future. Maybe even for the rest of his life. There might also be lasting side effects, things that would never go away. His doctors had warned him about that. At least he would be alive. He would be able to continue living. There was a possibility for a future again. Sometimes he couldn't wait for that.

There was a knock on his door and Harvey came inside, without waiting for him to respond.

"Hey, you are awake." He said. "How are you feeling?"

"Good morning." Mike said. "Good."

"Are you going to lay in bed the whole day then?"

"What? It's only like nine."

"Yes, but I asked if you planned to lay in bed the whole day?"

"Eh... No."

"Get up then." Harvey left again. He had been wearing normal clothes and not a suit, making Mike suspect that it was the weekend. Maybe he would start making a greater effort on keeping track of which day it was.

He didn't bother with getting dressed, just a sweater and one of the knitted hats. Harvey had made them breakfast as usual and suddenly Mike was hit with a rush of guilt. It was always Harvey who made dinner. He also put it away while Mike went back to bed or laid down on the couch or something. He needed to help out more because Harvey also took care of lunch and dinner. And the cleaning, the laundry and just about everything else.

He sat down in front of Harvey now and reached for his glass of juice.

Harvey sat there and looked at him now.

"What?" Mike asked.

Harvey let out a sigh. "I've been thinking." He said.

"Okay? How did it go?" Mike smirked.

"Shut up." Harvey shook his head at him. "I've been thinking, and I think that we need to go out and do something fun. Get out of the house a bit. Do you remember these." Harvey pushed an envelope towards him across the table.

"I do." Mike said but he still quickly opened it. He smiled. "I think you are absolutely right, Harvey."

In the envelope were two tickets for a basketball game that he had gotten from Harvey on his birthday.

"Are you for real?" He couldn't help but asking. "Are we really going to go?"

"There is a game tomorrow. If you really feel like you can handle it, we will go."

"Yes, I can. I'm fine, Harvey. We can go!" Joy rushed through him at the thought. He remembered his excitement when getting the tickets. He also remembered the look in Harvey's eyes when he had received them. There had been a glimmer of doubt in Harvey's eyes and a bit of fear, because back then, they didn't know for sure if they ever would get the chance to use the tickets. Now the day was here.

"Okay, it's decided then. But I need you to be honest with me and tell me if you are feeling unwell. I don't want you to hide any symptoms just because you want to go to the game.

"Yeah, sure. I promise." Mike said. He was still sitting with the tickets in his hand, he had a hard time looking away from them.

"Mike, I'm serious." Harvey reached over and pulled the tickets out of his hand. "Look at me. I want you to say that you will tell me if you feel worse."

"I will tell you. But Harvey, I'm really okay."

Harvey nodded. "And if you start to feel bad during the game, you tell me, and we'll leave."

"I'll tell you." Mike agreed, even though a small part of him wanted to roll his eyes at the older man.

"Good. Don't make me regret this then. And you are going to rest all day today." Harvey looked sternly at him and Mike smiled and promised that he would. He was prepared to do anything Harvey asked of him. He didn't know where this came from, but he didn't care. They were going to a basketball game tomorrow!

Later that day when Mike was dutifully resting on the couch and Harvey was sitting by the table with his laptop, Mike just had to ask.

"So how come we are doing this? What made you come up with it?"

"It was ages ago, I guess I though you would enjoy it."

"Of course, but why now I mean?" Mike knew that Harvey had understood what he had meant.

"Like I said before Mike, I think we need to do something fun for once. Not only stay at home all the time. I think we deserve that. You deserve that."

"Thanks, Harvey. It'll be great." Mike smiled at him and decided to be satisfied with Harvey's answer. He didn't need anything else, even though he suspected that Harvey had other things on his mind as well. They were really going to go to a game! He had a hard time believing it was true. He could hardly wait until tomorrow. A part of him just wanted to sleep so that time would pass faster, the other part was too excited to do that. He worried too because what if something would happen that could cause them to miss it.

He had a hard time falling asleep that night, apparently the anxious side of him won. Before Harvey left his room for the evening he had felt forced to ask again if they really were going.

"Of course we are, kid." Harvey said and tapped his arm. "Look, I've cleared it with your doctor, and he says it's fine as long as we are careful."

"How are we going to be careful at a basketball game?"

"Well, I was thinking that we would go there early and leave late. To avoid the worst crowds."

"Yeah, okay." Mike mumbled.

"Don't worry. It'll be fine."

"I'm not worried about that. I'm worried that something will happen to me so that we wont be able to go."

"Mike… if something happens tomorrow, then we will just reschedule. We'll go another day."

"Okay then."

"There will be more games."

"But I feel fine."

"Keep that up then. Good night Mike."

Mike said good night back and watched how Harvey picked up a sweater from the floor before leaving his room. Maybe he should clean more.

-SUITS-

Mike was already awake when Harvey got up. The younger man was sitting on the kitchen island, already dressed and with a cup of tea in front of him. Harvey studied him as he sat down in front of him. He looked to be okay, but he still asked. Mike claimed that he was in prefect health and Harvey had to laugh.

"That's good." He said. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Why are you not dressed?" Mike retorted.

"Because I'm having a day off. Why are you dressed already?"

Mike rolled his eyes at him.

"I'm feeling fine, Harvey. We can go today."

"No one is saying that we can't."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just saying." Mike said. "I'm ready to go."

Harvey raised an eyebrow and threw a glance at his watch. "You know it is eleven hours until it starts. I think you have to wait a while Mike."

"Fine." Mike muttered. "What are we going to do for eleven hours?"

"How about resting?"

"Yeah… you are no fun."

Mike looked like he wanted to argue more, but instead he laid down on the couch below a blanket and closed his eyes. Harvey didn't know if it was that he wanted to please him, or if he really was tired. It seemed to be the first thing because when Harvey looked over at him a little while later he had his phone in his hands.

The day passed slowly and when Harvey checked on Mike after working for a couple of hours, the kid was actually sleeping, the phone laying by his hands.

They had an early dinner that afternoon and then it was soon time to head to the arena. Harvey asked Mike a couple of times if he was okay and Mike assured him that he was, every time.

"You've already asked me. I swear I'm fine Harvey. I've been resting all day like you said."

And he had, so Harvey figured he would have to trust Mike on his word. He looked alright.

They arrived so early that it hadn't opened yet, and they were among the first to enter. Harvey had gotten pretty good seats and Mike was excited.

"This is great!" He said over and over.

Harvey just smiled at him and nodded when Mike pointed out stuff to him.

"Thank you so much for this, Harvey." Mike said when it was a few minutes left until the game was starting. "You're the best."

Harvey yet again smiled and patted Mike's leg.

"You're welcome Mike."

They looked at each other in silence for a moment, but then a huge roar from the crowd around them announced that the game was starting. After that they both forgot about gratefulness and cancer.

During the game Harvey saw some the old Mike returning, a healthier Mike. The younger man cheered and yelled along with the other supporters, and for the time that the game lasted Harvey was sure that not once did the fact that he had heart cancer, enter his mind. That had been Harvey's aim with this, to give Mike something else to think about, something to strive for. At least that was part of it, he also enjoyed it himself.

"That was awesome!" Mike exclaimed when it was over and people around them started to head for the exit. Mike had a wide grin plastered on his face and stared at the empty floor in front of him. They waited in silence until the area around them was pretty much cleared from people, then Harvey dragged Mike up on his feet and they left together.

In the cab on their way back home Mike couldn't stop talking about the game, what that player did, or if Harvey saw that throw? It sounded like he had every minute of the game memorized.

"Yeah, basically." Mike said when Harvey asked him if that was indeed the case.

When they got home, Mike headed straight for the couch and slumped down with his feet on the table. Harvey hesitated a little but then pulled out a beer from far back in the fridge. He didn't know when the last time was that he had had a beer. Did they have an expiring date? He took out two glasses and poured almost all of it for himself. He knew that Mike's medication and alcohol didn't mix, but a few mouthfuls couldn't be that bad could it? He glanced over at Mike and saw that his head were tipped backwards, and his eyes were closed. He rolled his eyes at that.

"Hey! Don't sleep!" He called and smirked as Mike jerked awake.

"What?" He mumbled and sat up straighter as Harvey placed the glasses on the table.

"Is that beer?" He stared at Harvey with wide eyes. "You are going to let me have beer? This evening keeps getting better!"

But his expression changed when Harvey took the almost full glass, and he saw his own. "Okay… you are letting me have like one sip of beer. This is like nothing." He picked it up and studied it closer, even smelled it.

"That's all you are getting." Harvey smirked.

Mike shrugged. "I guess it's better then nothing." He leaned forward with his glass and Harvey did the same.

"Cheers!"

Mike immediately started to cough after taking a sip. He coughed so much so that he had to put the glass down. Harvey couldn't help but laughing at him.

"Okay… I think I have forgotten the taste." Mike said as he was done and wiped his mouth with his hand. "I don't know if I like it anymore."

Harvey laughed a little more. "That's probably not a bad thing, kid."

Mike rolled his eyes at him. "I'll relearn to like it."

"I don't think you have to worry about that, Mike."

"I guess not." Mike smirked. "Do you have something else?"

"You want some juice or what?"

"Actually, I do."

"Get it yourself."

"Are you done getting stuff for me now, or what?" Mike stood up and went to get himself a glass of orange juice and when he returned they made another toast.

Mike thought that Harvey then ruined the mood when he went to get Mike's doze of medication he was set on taking at evenings. Neither of them mentioning that Harvey had just gotten him something.

"I'm letting you stay up late, so don't you dare complaining."

"Fine." Mike muttered and scooped up all the pills and swallowed them down with some juice.

Harvey put on a movie and stretched out on the couch next to Mike. They talked for a while and watched the movie; Mike was sure that they had seen it before and tried to convince Harvey that he was right.

"You're hallucinating." Harvey claimed. When Mike suddenly didn't answer him anymore, he looked over to the younger man and saw that he was out. Harvey shook his head and reached for his second beer bottle, then he watched the rest of the movie alone. It had been a good day though. Hopefully, it would be more days like this from now on. When the movie ended, Harvey as quietly as he could started to gather their glasses and put them in the sink. He considered if he should let Mike sleep on the couch, but then shook the others shoulder instead. Mike mumbled something that Harvey couldn't make out and moved away from his hand. Harvey rolled his eyes and shook him again.

"What?" Mike muttered.

"Go to bed."

Mike rubbed his eyes and nodded. He then reached out a hand towards Harvey, who grabbed it and pulled him up. He was a little surprised when Mike wrapped his arms around him in a hug, but he quickly found himself and hugged the kid back.

"Thanks, Harvey." Mike said as he pulled back and before Harvey had time to answer the younger man shuffled away towards the bathroom.

Early the next morning Donna came over and had breakfast with them. Harvey admired her patients with Mike as he told her every detail about the game. He was pretty sure that she didn't care at all about basketball. Harvey himself had left the breakfast table as soon as he was finished and retired to Mike's room with his laptop.

Donna stayed with Mike for the rest of the day and Harvey took the opportunity to take some time for himself. He went to the office for a couple of hours, he went for a run and to do some other errands.

He was met by soft music when he opened the door and stepped inside. Donna and Mike was seated at the table with a puzzle and tea mugs in front of them.

"Hey Harvey!" Mike called as he saw him. The man had a purple knitted hat on his head that Harvey hadn't seen before.

"Hi Mike. Donna." He said and walked over to them. "I see you are busy. Are you cheating again?" He asked Mike.

Mike glared a little at him. "How do you cheat with this?" He asked.

"Have you eaten?" Harvey asked instead. They hadn't and Harvey ordered Chinese food for the three of them.

Adam came the next day and took Mike with him to the hospital. Harvey was sure that the nurse also got updated on the game, he was probably a bit more interested than Donna. Mike was set to start treatment again to get rid of the last parts of the cancer. It was pretty amazing that they were at this stage right now. At times he hadn't thought that it would ever happen.

As usual the treatment was hard on the kid and Mike spent a lot more time laying down. He slept a lot and had a few bad days where he had a light fever and threw up a lot. Mike didn't complain though and Harvey was sure that he tried to downplay that he felt bad. Harvey let him do it.

A client that Harvey had closed about ten years ago had gotten himself into some problems and were facing charges. This client was important to Jessica since he brought in quite a lot of money to the firm. She had contacted Harvey and asked him if he was capable of dealing with the problem or if he wanted her to take over the case. Harvey had told her that he would take care of it, since he knew that Jessica was busier than usual since she already worked on a few of his cases as well as her own. He could do this. Mike was doing better as he said, so Harvey felt more comfortable with working more. This case was going to take a lot of his time.

Adam was a great resource in keeping their daily life going. The nurse and Harvey had taken some time to sit down together and look through both of their schedules. Mike underwent treatment again and it was possible that he would need a lot of help, even though Mike himself claimed that he would be fine and that he was feeling better. So, Harvey had decided to basically just ignore what Mike said and have not leave him alone at all.

He had left Mike alone at earlier times, but now he had decided not to. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he was afraid. He was afraid that something would happen just because they had been told that Mike was getting better and they might relax. It would be typical for Mike to have some weird side effects or a heart attack or something, if Harvey relaxed around him. It had happened before.

Harvey had had a conversation with Mike about how the coming weeks would look like, since he needed to work a bit more. He told Mike that he wasn't going to be left alone, and Mike argued at once that he was doing better.

"But you know, with your luck, something is bound to happen if I leave you alone. It has happened before Mike; do I need to remind you of those times?" Harvey had asked him.

Mike shrugged. "I'm just saying that I'm feeling better."

"I know you do, and I'm happy about that. But I'm going to need more than your feelings to let you stay here by yourself." Harvey said.

"Yeah. I understand." Mike quietly said without meeting Harvey's eyes.

"Good. So, when I have to go to the office, Adam is going to be here with you. Otherwise, I'll have to reschedule."

"But I don't want you to reschedule because of me, when I'm doing pretty good."

"There is no problem Mike." Harvey assured him because Mike looked uncomfortable. "Don't worry about it."

"I just keep thinking about how much you have missed because of me."

"Well, don't. It has always been my own choice."

Mike nodded and didn't say anything else.

During the last few weeks Mike had been tired and spent a lot of time laying down. Harvey noticed a change in him, and he were more redrawn than he had been around the time they went to the basketball game. That had been a good time.

Now, Mike sometimes seemed to be anxious, but tried not to show it. He tried to act like he was doing good. Harvey let him act, but he noticed that Mike would look towards him at times, and sometimes he would search him out if they weren't in the same room. Once Harvey had gone to work at his desk in Mike's room while Mike had been watching a movie on his iPad on the couch. It hadn't been long before Mike showed up, looking for the charger for the iPad. He then plugged it in and laid down on his bed instead of going back to the couch. It was just that Harvey knew that the iPad didn't need charging since he had done it himself the day before. He didn't say anything though, since Mike presence didn't bother him, far from it.

Sometimes Mike's presence had a calming effect of Harvey too. He was never alone. Someone was always there, and sometimes that was a nice feeling. That someone needed him, and that someone wanted him, on the level that Mike did. With Mike there, Harvey had become someone else, in addition to a lawyer.

Mike knew and understood that Harvey needed to work a bit more intensive during the next few weeks. Harvey had gone through the case with him and often asked Mike for inputs. Harvey would sometimes quiz him about details about the case and was satisfied when Mike always answered everything correctly.

"Why are you asking me this?" Mike had asked.

"I'm just testing if your brain still works." Harvey smirked at him.

"It works better than yours apparently." Mike muttered and put his headphones in his ears. Harvey laughed a little and turned back to the laptop. He had a meeting tomorrow with the client and he needed to prepare. They were going to go through their strategy and Harvey was going to prep the client before the trial. That was work that Mike had been doing, what felt like ages ago. Harvey had to do it himself now. He rarely relied on any of the other associates. He knew that Mike wouldn't mind it if he did, but it still felt a little bit like he was betraying Mike, whenever he did use them. This wasn't anything he had told Mike; he was pretty sure that the younger man would laugh at him for it.

When he looked over towards Mike know, he saw that the man was sleeping. He could hear the faint sound from his headphones of someone speaking. He considered if he should find Mike's phone and put the book he was listening to on pause. He didn't though, Mike would remember where he had stopped listening anyway.

The next morning Harvey was woken by the sound of his ring tone. It was Adam that called and warned him about the fact that he might have to call in sick today. He said that he just wanted to call Harvey in advance, just in case, to give Harvey time to find someone else to come and look after Mike. Harvey swore to himself as he thanked Adam and said that it was no problem.

But it was a problem. There was no one else today, he knew that Donna was needed at the office, and that Louis was in court. The list of other people for him to ask was short. He still texted Rachel, but she answered almost right away that she was sorry, but unable to help out. There wasn't anyone else. He would just have to hope that Adam didn't get any worse and that he would be able to come.

Later that day had Mike laying on the couch watching what looked like a Japanese TV show, however Harvey doubted that he was able to follow that much what was happening since his eyes constantly closed on their own and he missed to read the subtitles.

The day before yesterday he had been to the hospital and had received treatment. Yesterday hadn't been so bad, but today he it seemed like he couldn't keep his eyes opened. He had fallen asleep probably three times after Harvey had woken him to take his meds. It was a bit annoying to have to do it over and over, and Mike seemed to sense his annoyance, because he kept apologizing.

"It's not your fault that you are tired, don't apologize." Harvey had told him then.

Adam called him with bad news a little after ten.

"Shit." Harvey swore after he hung up the phone. He was sitting in a chair across from Mike, with his laptop on the table in front of him.

"What?" Mike blinked and looked over to him.

"That was Adam. He's gotten himself sick, so he won't be able to come over for a few days."

"Oh." Mike closed his eyes again. "It's fine. I'm probably just going to sleep anyway."

"No. That's not fine. I have to go to the office this afternoon and you are not staying here by yourself."

Mike blinked at little up at him but didn't say anything. He didn't seem to care at all about Harvey's dilemma.

"Well, you'll just have to come with me then." Harvey decided.

Mike opened his eyes then and sat up.

"What? But I… I can't work Harvey. I'm tired." He said and Harvey saw that his expression had changed totally. Mike looked anxious, almost scared and Harvey was surprised.

"Of course you don't have to work. You'll just hang out in my office for a while. I don't have anyone else who is able to come over today, and I need to have this meeting today."

Mike licked his lips. He seemed to hesitate, so Harvey waited. "But Harvey, last time I was there, it didn't feel right."

"What are you talking about? Why not?"

Mike swallowed and looked away from him.

"It's just… it felt like I didn't belong there anymore."

"Of course you belong. Mike?"

"I'm telling you it didn't feel like it. And it's not like I ever truly did."

"You mean because you didn't go to law school?"

Mike nodded.

"Well, that's not true Mike. And it never stopped you before. You do belong. More than a lot of other people there. Can you look at me?"

He waited until Mike did before he continued.

"You do belong." Harvey repeated. "And we miss you there. I miss you."

Mike smiled now and laid down again. He considered what Harvey had said.

"Thanks Harvey." He said. "Means a lot."

"But?"

"But I don't feel like before. What if I can't keep up after this?"

"Well, I think you should wait until you don't take twenty pills a day and see then."

"It's not twenty." Mike smiled. "But sure. Maybe you are right."

"Of course, I'm right. So, you are fine with coming with me then?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Good boy."

Mike shook his head at him, but he didn't look that worried any more.

Harvey thought of what he had said. Mike was nervous about coming back to work. He apparently thought that he wouldn't be able to keep up anymore. Maybe it wasn't so strange. It was a long time ago since Mike worked, but it would be fine. They would start slowly, and Harvey would help him and make sure he felt alright. He looked forward to taking Mike with him.

When it was almost time to leave Mike seemed hesitant again. Harvey asked him to go and change out of his sweatpants and had to ask him twice before Mike slowly got up from the couch.

"You know it's going to be fine today, right?" Harvey said. "You have nothing to be nervous about."

Mike just sighed and nodded without meeting his eyes. Harvey decided to not push him any further. A couple of minutes later Mike reappeared in jeans and a hoodie and a black knitted hat on his head.

Mike was quiet in the elevator down to the waiting car. The car ride was spent in silence as well, and Harvey took the time to go through a few notes. Mike sat next to him with his head leaned against the window. When they arrived, Harvey walked around the car and opened Mike's door. The man was still struggling with unbuckling himself. Harvey stopped himself from leaning inside and do it for him, instead he waited and then held out a hand to pull Mike out.

He noticed that Mike walked close to him as he led the way through the corridors towards his office. Mike kept his head down the entire way.

"Mike! What are you doing here?" Donna exclaimed when they reached her desk. She acted like Harvey wasn't even there, all her focus on the younger man, who shrugged at her question and let Harvey answer for him.

"Adam is sick." He said. "And you know I can't miss the meeting today."

He almost thought that Donna would argue, but she didn't. She did know that the meeting today was important. Harvey was grateful as she stood up and walked around her desk and took Mike by the arm and led him into Harvey's office.

-SUITS-

Mike didn't want to be here. He didn't know why he felt so uneasy being back at the office. When Harvey had told him about it this morning, his first reaction had been a feeling of panic. He didn't know why, and he had pushed it away. He had half-heartedly tried to tell Harvey that he was fine by himself at home, but he knew that Harvey wouldn't listen.

Now, Donna took him by the arm and led him over to Harvey's couch. During the next couple of minutes, she tried to make him as comfortable as possible as Harvey got to work by his desk. Donna asked if he was thirsty, hungry, tired or in pain. He answered no to all those questions. She didn't ask him how he felt being back. No one seemed to care about the fact that he didn't want to be there.

After Donna had made sure that there was nothing she could do for him, she finally retreated to her own desk and left Mike sitting there on the couch. He looked around Harvey's office. It looked exactly like it had the last time he had been here. Everything here just went on as normal. He felt like everyone and everything moved on, while he was stuck. He was just waiting for something to happen, either for the cancer to leave him or for him to leave with it. Those were the only two options, even if it leaned more towards the first option now.

He remembered his first few weeks working here. Everything had been so exciting then. He had done everything he could to impress Harvey, to show him that he belonged here, that he could cut it. He didn't know if he had succeeded. But he won Harvey's trust and loyalty, and that was worth more than anything.

For a moment he studied Harvey as he was working. How he looked intently at the screen. He reached for a pen and wrote something down, a frown on his face. Mike didn't even know what case he was working on now. He knew that Harvey had told him about it, but he wasn't sure that he had been listening.

Mike let out a deep breath and pulled a bit at his sweater. He felt cold. He wondered briefly if he had a fever, but he didn't think so. He was tired though. What would Harvey say if he laid down here on the couch. And didn't it use to be a blanket here? He should ask Donna about that. But when he looked towards her, he saw that she was on the phone. It made him feel sad. It was like he wasn't even there.

What was he supposed to do here all day? Or were they really staying the whole day?

Harvey was going to meet a client today. Mike knew that much. Was he supposed to just sit here then and wait for the older man? He didn't want to do that. But he wasn't going to say anything. He wasn't going to whine like some child. He knew that this was the best solution for today and Mike shouldn't complain.

He blinked rapidly a few times. Suddenly he felt dizzy for no reason. He shuffled down a little so that he could lean his head against the couch. He wrapped his arms around his chest and wished that time would pass faster. He wished that he could lay down, but it didn't feel comfortable to do it here. He knew that he had done it before, but he felt different now. More self-conscious. What is someone walked by the office and saw him laying on the couch, dressed like he was. It just felt so unprofessional. Like he was Harvey's kid that went with him to work, and not his employee.

He needed to lay down though. He didn't feel good. He still felt cold and dizzy. Harvey kept ignoring him, he would probably not even care if Mike laid down or not. So, he kicked his shoes off and let himself slide down into a laying position. It felt slightly better and he pressed his arms towards his chest. He wondered what he looked like, laying like this. He hoped no one would see him.

"Are you okay?"

Mike jerked a little when Harvey suddenly spoke. He nodded without looking up. He couldn't see Harvey from this position. The other man didn't say anything else, probably just turned his attention back to his laptop.

For a couple of minutes Mike lay like that. He tried to relax and keep his eyes closed. Maybe he could fall asleep. It would be such a relief if he could just fall asleep and wake up when it was time for them to go home. But it didn't happen, instead he just laid there counting the minutes.

Then there was a soft knock on the door. Mike jerked a little and looked up. He regretted the movement the next moment because he yet again felt a wave of dizziness hit him. It was Jessica, and Mike wanted to sink down into the couch so that she wouldn't be able to see him. But it was too late, and she stepped into the room.

"Oh, hi Mike.'' She said and smiled towards him. "l didn't know that you were here today."

Mike swallowed and opened his mouth to answer her, what he didn't know.

"Hi." Was all that came out. And then to his utter embarrassment he felt how his eyes started to water. He didn't know why, and he solved the situation by just laying back down and hide his face behind his arms. He knew he was acting weird, but right now he didn't have it in him to do anything else. He wanted to go home. He wanted to stop being so damn pathetic all the time. This wasn't the way normal people acted. The wasn't normal. What if Harvey felt embarrassed about him now? However, it was like the other two just pretended that he hadn't just made a fool of himself because they both ignored him now and started to talk about something else. Mike suddenly wished that he could take part in the conversation somehow, but this didn't concern him. He had nothing to say. Yet again he just wished that he could go home.

Why would Harvey do this to him? His chest felt tight. Jessica and Harvey kept talking. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. He shouldn't be feeling like this here. It wasn't fair, and he couldn't shake it off. He wished that they would be quiet. He wanted to tell them but knew that he couldn't.

Mike didn't know what was wrong with him. He wanted to scream. He was breathing faster now and pressed his arms even harder against himself like that would stop the feelings from leaking out of him. All he had to do was to wait it out. He could do that, at least he thought so.

"Mike, seriously. Are you okay?"

It was Harvey again. This time Mike could hear how Harvey stood up and started to walk over to him. Mike exhaled and forced himself to sit up.

"Yeah." He said. He didn't look at Harvey or Jessica. He didn't think that he could meet their eyes.

"Are you sure?" Harvey said.

Mike nodded.

"Maybe we can do this later?" Harvey asked now and when Mike looked up, he saw that Harvey was speaking to Jessica now, not to him. He heard Jessica answer something and there she left. Mike didn't look up. Harvey was still standing in the middle of the room like he didn't it know what to do next. Mike didn't know either. He didn't lay down again at least, ever though he wanted to. He wished that he could, that he could feel normal. He was somewhat aware of himself shaking. Harvey had walked back to his desk and sat there now, looking at Mike.

Suddenly Harvey stood up again and started coming towards him. Mike didn't move as Harvey sat down west to him on the couch. Then without a word Harvey reached out and pulled Mike against him. He wrapped his arms around Mike and held on hard. After a moment Mike allowed himself to lean into the embrace. He felt tears appear and for a second he hated himself for that. Why couldn't he do this? Why was he acting like this?

-SUITS-

Okay, Harvey wasn't sure anymore that this had been a good idea. Ever since they had arrived at the office Mike had been acting so strange. He had just been sitting there on the couch without saying a word. He looked almost like he was in pain, but he said that he was fine when Harvey asked. Harvey felt a little pleased as Mike laid down. Maybe he could get some sleep, maybe that was what he needed.

Mike acted weird again when Jessica came over. He just said hi and then nothing else. It was almost as if he ignored that she was there and Harvey felt annoyed at that, but he let it slide. Jessica had wanted an update on the case and Harvey started briefing her. But of course, his eyes kept going back to Mike, how had laid down again. Something was wrong. It looked like Mike was on the verge of tears and his breathing seemed a bit off.

When Harvey asked him if he was okay, he bolted upright again and said that he was. The shaking said something else. After that Harvey knew that he needed to do something, and he ended the conversation with Jessica.

Harvey sighed a little as he stood there looking at Mike, who kept his head directed towards the ground. On impulse he then walked over to the couch and wrapped his arms around Mike's thin body. Mike let out a surprised sound but then he let himself lean against Harvey. For a while they remained like that, neither of them talked. He didn't know if Mike maybe was crying against him.

Harvey wondered briefly if this had been a good idea when he could feel Mike trembling against him. Was he stupid when he forced this frail, ill person to come with him to work? Maybe he was, but he couldn't help but think that it would also be good for Mike to get out of the house a bit and to be in another environment. It wasn't like had planned on forcing Mike to work or anything. He had also talked it though with Donna during a quick phone call earlier, when Mike still had been asleep. She had said that she was going to help him make sure that Mike was comfortable. But now he clearly wasn't, and Harvey had to make it right.

He grabbed hold of Mike's shoulders and pushed him back a little so that he was able to look at him. Something twitched inside him when he saw that Mike indeed had tears in his eyes.

"Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." He said.

Mike shrugged a little and didn't meet his eyes. When he blinked a tear escaped and ran down his cheek before Mike wiped it away.

"It's clearly something. Just tell me. I won't be mad if that's what you are afraid of."

"I don't know." Mike mumbled then. "I just… I just feel weird being here."

"Okay." Harvey nodded. He understood what the kid was saying. He wanted to go home. Harvey just couldn't understand his reluctance of being at the office. A place where Mike once had spent almost all of his time before. Now he had said that he didn't think he belonged anymore. Harvey didn't know how to convince him that he did. He had thought that he already had made that clear to Mike. It seemed like he had failed in doing that.

He wanted to grant Mike his wish, but he still had the meeting with the client. Actually, that was set to begin in just thirty minutes from now. It was too late to cancel.

"Mike, l know you want to go home." He began and then held up a hard as Mike started to protest. "No, l know you do, but we need to stay a little while longer. Is there anything l can do for you?"

Mike looked like he was going to argue, but there he didn't. Instead, he said that he felt cold and uncomfortable. Harvey then waived Donner inside the room and asked her if she could help the kid. She said she would and then had Mike lay back down. She said that she would keep him company as Harvey went to meet the client in one of the conference rooms.

When Harvey got back to his office about two hours later, he found Mike sleeping below a blanket on the couch. Donna was sitting at his desk and seemed to be working on his laptop.

"Do you like that chair?" Harvey half whispered as he closed the door behind him.

"Mine is more comfortable!" She answered without looking up.

Harvey went over to the couch and Mike and adjusted the blanket a bit over the sleeping man.

"How did it go here?" He asked Donna.

"It went fine." Was all she said.

"You don't think I should have brought him here, do you?" Harvey knew already what she was going to answer, but he still asked.

"No." She said. "I don't think he is well enough to be here. And clearly he doesn't want to be here."

"He kept saying that he doesn't belong here anymore. I just wanted to prove to him that he does. And I thought a change of scenery would do him good."

"You might be right in that. But I think that Mike's self-esteem isn't what it used to be. He needs to feel ready to step back into this world, and he is not yet."

Harvey sighed and sat down in front of Donna. "I guess you are right."

"I know you only want what's best for him. And I think you are right in pushing him towards his old life. You just need to listen to him and know when he is ready to be pushed."

Harvey pursed his lips and nodded. "I needed to get to this meeting, and no one else could stay with him. It was not only for his sake." He admitted.

"I could have come."

"You said you were busy."

"With handling your cases."

Harvey nodded. "I should have asked you."

Donna smiled and stood up. "You are a good man, Harvey." She said and then left to go back to her own desk. Harvey watched her go and then he went around and sat down in his own chair. He was going to work until the kid woke up, then he would spend the rest of the day with Mike.

They were home again two hours later. Harvey had brought quite a lot of work with him that he needed to get done. Mike was sitting next to him the table with his iPad. He seemed to be a little better than before.

Suddenly Mike lowered the iPad and looked at Harvey.

"Do you think I was weird today?" He asked.

"Weird? Not more than usual."

"I'm being serious. I acted weird right?"

"Mike, you told me you weren't ready, and I brought you there anyway. Your reaction wasn't weird and you never complained. But I shouldn't have forced you to come with me."

"You didn't force me."

"I've made a commitment to you, and I feel like I broke it today. I put the case before you."

Mike pressed his lips together for a moment before he spoke.

"You have done more for me than anyone has ever done. I'm always going to be grateful to you for that. And I think it was good that we went. Sure, I didn't like it, but I've done a lot of stuff the last year or so that I haven't wanted to do. And this didn't even hurt."

Harvey smiled a little and waited.

"I'm just saying that I've come to the conclusion that it was a good thing going there. We have talked about doing things that scares us at therapy and that it's important to face them."

"That's good, kid."

"Yeah."

They were quiet for a bit.

"Do you want me to help you?" Mike then asked to Harvey's surprise. He stared at him.

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"Give me something easy."

Harvey laughed a little, picked up a file from the pile in front of him and pushed it over to Mike. And for the next two hours they worked in silence.

For the next couple of evenings Mike would ask him if he could help, and without saying anything Harvey gave him something. He enjoyed the moments when they sat there opposite of each other, Mike with a few files and Harvey with his computer. He wasn't surprised when Mike came with inputs and added useful insight to the case.

However, after a bad afternoon for Mike that involved him spending about an hour in the bathroom Harvey hesitated in giving him work.

"Why are you doing this Mike? You know you don't have to."

Mike shrugged. "It feels good to do something from before." He just said. After that they didn't really talk that much about it. Mike asked whenever he felt up for it, some nights he didn't. Sometimes he would bring what Harvey gave him over to the couch so that he could lay down and read. Harvey found him there an hour later, sleeping, with both hands across the file on his chest. Harvey managed to retrieve it without waking him and placed a blanket over him instead.

Mike had bad days still. He went to treatment, check ups and tests. Harvey sometimes went with him, sometimes Mike went by himself or with Donna or Rachel. He told Harvey an amusing story about Donna bringing Louis with her to one treatment session.

"He went to get me something to drink, but the closest place was out of cups, so he went to another floor. He was gone for thirty minutes." Mike laughed. "He couldn't remember which floor we were at and was embarrassed to ask."

They had some scares as well. One Saturday Mike wake Harvey up from his coughing. He wouldn't stop, not until Harvey had forced him to drink two glasses of water. Mike looked like he was about to pass out when he was done.

"What the hell was that?" Harvey exclaimed and looked at his watch. It was quarter to seven.

Mike shrugged a little and reached for his iPad, but Harvey pulled it out from his hand.

"Sleep a bit more. You look half dead."

Mike rolled his eyes at him, and Harvey was pretty sure that he went up to get the device as soon as Harvey left the room to go back to his own bed.

Later that day Harvey thought that Mike breathing sounded off, but Mike denied that anything was wrong. He kept coughing though.

"I just got something in my throat." He said.

"What? You are not eating or drinking."

"My spit?"

"Gross." Harvey shook his head at him. But he stayed close to Mike. That was a good thing too because Mike got worse. His speech sounded off. He coughed again, this time so violently that he had trouble staying on his feet and Harvey steadied him.

"I'm…I'm f-fine." Mike said. Then he dropped to the ground, wheezing.

Harvey swore and hauled out his phone and swiped to turn it on.

"That's it. I'm calling an ambulance! God damn it Mike!" His finger shook when he tried to type the emergency number.

"No… Harvey… come on."

"No, shut up Mike! You are slurring, you can't keep your eyes open and you can barely breathe. So, we are going!"

"Harvey, please. You are overreacting. I'm…I'm fine."

"Overreacting?" Harvey glared at him, still with his phone in hand. "Why don't I believe you?" He asked.

"Because I'm telling you that I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Tired!" Harvey exclaimed.

"Yeah. I don't… I don't need an ambulance. This is not an emergency."

"Mike!"

"Harvey."

"Fine. A cab then. Let's go." Harvey refused to listen to anything else Mike said and practically dragged kid out the door and to the hospital.

Mike sulked for a while in the cab, not interested in the hospital visit he clearly needed.

"I feel fine." He muttered, before leaning his head to the side and fell asleep. He always fell asleep in the car. Harvey shook his arm though to wake him. He didn't want Mike sleeping in this state.

It turned out that Mike had been right this time. After a few hours of tests, they were cleared to go back home. At least Mike didn't dare to tell him that he had told him so. Harvey would have left him at the hospital then. He wasn't going to risk anything, and Mike had looked terrible. So, he wasn't sorry that they had made the trip, and that night Harvey set an alarm and checked on the younger man regularly. Hopefully, Mike didn't notice it and if he did, he didn't say anything about it the next morning.

They had a couple of weeks when not so much happened. Harvey won the case he had been working on and took on new ones. They settled into a routine that both of them came to enjoy. It was nice to not have anything happening. Things were good and Harvey felt how he started to feel a bit more relaxed. The feeling of having to be prepared at all times lessened. He still refused to leave Mike alone though, something that they had argued about. Mike had put up some fight, claiming that he felt fine and that since nothing had happened in ages, he would be fine on his own while Harvey left for work. But Harvey had simply refused and ignored Mike's protests.

"Not until your doctor's tells me it's okay." He said. "Then I might consider it."

So, Adam still came over a couple of days a week, Donna came on Thursdays and Harvey would sometimes work from home. Mike helped him often, and sometimes Harvey left files for him. He even considered bringing Mike his own case, something easy that wouldn't demand that he left the house, but eventually he had decided against it. He remembered the last time they had been to the office and how reluctant Mike had been. They hadn't talked anymore about that. Harvey would wait until Mike brought it up himself. Wait until he felt ready.

One good thing that happened was that after a test it was decided that Mike dose of medication would be adjusted, so that he would take a lower dose of pills. Mike was thrilled and they celebrated by inviting Donna, Rachel and Adam over for a dinner. It was a weird thing to celebrate as Mike pointed out as they were preparing the food together.

Harvey shrugged. "Why don't take the opportunity." So, they did.

-SUITS-

Him and Harvey were cooking together. Harvey was chopping and Mike was manning the stow. In just half an hour the others were coming over. He looked forward to it and Harvey seemed to be in the same spirit, laughing and making jokes.

The dinner was nice, and Donna and Rachel ended up staying until late. Adam was glad to be invited but left pretty early. Mike didn't say anything about it, since the nurse probably thought that he was a bit out of place. He was glad though that the nurse had shown up. Maybe after all of this they could be friends, Mike would like that, but he guessed that they would just see what happened. He remembered Adam telling him that after five years Mike wouldn't remember him anymore. That wouldn't be true of course, but Adam didn't seem to think that they would stay in touch beyond that.

Mike couldn't help but reflect on how things had been when he first had met the nurse. He remembered that he had been so sick that he hadn't been able to lift his hand high enough to shake the other's hand. Adam had been there to help them in the last stages of his life. It was hard to understand. Now they were in a totally different situation as they carefully started to believe that he would survive. Mike believed that he would.

Everything felt different now. His body felt different, and he suspected that he had gained some weight. Harvey would deny that, and huff about that he still ate like a mouse or something. But he had more energy, a little bit more strength than last week. Things were going forward.

Weirdly that sometimes scared him, the thought that he was getting better. It was like he didn't know anymore who he had been before the cancer. He didn't know how to react to things like a healthy person. The thought of going back to work scared him still, even though he tried to push all those thoughts away.

Harvey would bring him files regularly now and had even mentioned something about Mike maybe handling his own cases soon. He wasn't sure if the other man had been joking or not, a part of him hoped so. He didn't feel ready for that responsibility. He would have to talk to Harvey about that.

Another part of him longed for what once had been his normal life, where work had been such a huge part. Actually, most of his life. He hadn't had much else except work. That was different now. Now he had his relationship with Harvey. He didn't think he ever had had such a strong bond to someone before, as his and Harvey's. He probably wouldn't have the same again with anyone else.

Harvey was the person that had been there for him throughout everything that had happened. Harvey had seen him at his lowest, he had held Mike as he sobbed in agony, held him up as he threw up, been his eyes when he had gone blind. And Harvey had saved his life, time and time again. He had truly laid his whole life in Harvey's hands and thanks to him, he would most likely survive. Harvey had even broken the law and forged medical documents for him.

He looked over at Harvey now, where he was sitting opposite of him eating.

"You burnt this, didn't you?" Harvey had a piece of chicken on his fork and held it out towards him. Mike rolled his eyes. Sometimes Harvey made it difficult to be grateful towards him.

"No, I didn't."

"It tastes kind of burnt."

Mike laughed a little. He enjoyed the way they were acting towards each other.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Harvey asked. "Do I have something in my face?"

"No."

Harvey out down his fork. "Then what? Spill".

Mike hesitated for just a moment, but then he drew a deep breathe.

"I just want you to know that I'm grateful to you. For everything you have done for me and keep doing."

"Mike, you don't have to…"

"Will you let me talk or what?"

"Okay."

"I feel like I'm forever in debt to you for everything you have done for me."

"It's not a debt Mike!"

"Okay, okay, not a debt then, but I'm so grateful. Like you have no idea. Without you I wouldn't be here, seriously. And everything I have put you through. It's not like I have handled this well."

"Mike, come on. What are you doing?"

"I guess I'm trying to say thank you."

"Well, you are welcome."

"I just feel like I have to do something for you, I want to do something for you. But how can I ever repay…" Mike had to stop there. He felt that his eyes had started to water. That was just typical. On the other end of the table Harvey sighed a little and smiled as he reached out a hand for Mike to take. Mike pressed it hard and quickly wiped his eyes, but he smiled as well.

"How can I ever thank you enough? I owe you my life." He said.

Mike thought that he could see how Harvey's eyes had become shiny as well, but the other man ignored it.

"Mike. You being here is enough for me." He said.

Mike laughed a bit and let go of his hand. He wiped his eyes again with both hands.

"No matter what you say, I'll always be grateful and I'm always going to try to be here for you, like you have been here for me. I'm going to try and repay you. You can't do anything about it."

"Well, you can start with repaying me by listening to what I'm telling you. You being alive is thanks enough."

Mike smiled. "I'll take it into consideration."

Harvey shook his head at him.

"But Harvey, I know that I have put you through a lot. More than anyone should be forced to handle. And you didn't have to do anything, but you did everything. That speaks a lot to the kind of man you are."

"Mike." Harvey said. Mike waited for the rest, but Harvey closed his mouth again, like he didn't know what else to say.

"You are a good man, Harvey. One of the best."

"I just did what I had to."

"No, you didn't. You did so much more, and I just want you to know that I know that."

"Okay, kid." He had a hard time looking at Mike now.

"You want me to stop, don't you? But I'm going to keep bringing this up, just so you know."

Harvey shook his head at him, and then drew a hand over his eyes. When he met Mike's eyes, Mike smiled warmly at him. They both had tears in their eyes now.

"Should we just hug and then watch a movie?" Mike asked.

"You are unbelievable." Harvey said. But he stood up and opened his arms and let Mike threw himself at him. "You haven't finished your food yet; is this some sort of scheme you are playing to don't have to eat?"

"Shut up." Mike said against Harvey's shoulder. "We both know I burnt the chicken."

Harvey chuckled and patted his back a little.

-SUITS-