Beating the odds

by LioSky

Something was going on with Mike, and it wasn't anything good. He felt it, and Harvey had noticed it. It was not like it was the first time either. But this time it was nothing that either of them could control. As it turns out Mike is sick, really sick. He is going to need help, and a lot of it.

77. Chapter 77 - Back to work

Chapter 77.

Another hospital visit. Harvey and Mike were sitting in the chairs in front of Doctor Lundin. Mike constantly yawned as they waited for the doctor to come, they had been a bit early.

"Didn't you sleep about ten hours last night?" Harvey asked.

"No. It was more like eight and a half."

Harvey rolled his eyes. "Why are you tired then? That's more than I've slept the last ten years during a night."

Mike smirked a little and yawned again. "Where is he?"

"If you need a nap, I can wake you up when he gets here."

"No, I'm fine."

They waited a few minutes longer. They were here to discuss the latest treatment regimen and see if they would be making any changes to it. Mike had insisted that he could go alone, but Harvey had ignored his protests and come along. They were both hoping for some more positive news and Mike had big plans.

"Do you think he will let me go back to work?" Mike had asked when they had breakfast before leaving.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up." Harvey answered. "And besides, do you really feel up for that?"

"I don't know. I think I'm ready to give it a try again."

So, here they were now. Harvey was skeptical about having Mike back to work, although he had started to give Mike files and smaller tasks. The kid handled everything he was handed, with the same proficiency that he had had before getting sick, only not with the same speed. Sometimes he would put the files down and take a nap.

"Okay! Nice to see you again Mike. Harvey." Doctor Lundin stepped into the office and sat down in front of them. He laid a small stack of papers down on the table and then started talking. They went through how the current treatment was going, talked about the medication and doses, and looked through some scans of Mike's heart. Adjustments were made and the doctor then rounded off with telling them that he had brought up Mike's case on a conference and that it had sparked a lot of interest.

"A few expressed a wish to know more and maybe contact you. Would that be okay?"

"Eh…" Mike said.

"We'll wait a bit. But you are pretty famous now in my circles."

Harvey and Mike exchanged a look.

"Okay. That's nice. I guess." Mike said.

"Being on the road of recovery from heart cancer is a huge deal. We might even want to write articles about you. I've talked to doctor Jansson…"

"I have a question." Mike interrupted him, clearly not that interested in being written about.

"Of course." The doctor said.

"Do you think I could go back to work soon?"

"Oh. We will have to think about that. But Mike, don't expect to go back full time right away. Usually, the deal is that at first there will be something along once a week for a few hours to see how it goes. Then maybe you could go back on 25 %, a few hours a day. If everything goes well, we can increase the time."

Mike nodded.

"I won't let him come back unless you say so." Harvey added.

The doctor raised an eyebrow at him. "I've heard that you already let Mike help you."

"Who told you that?" Mike quickly asked.

The doctor smiled towards them.

"Let me think about this. How about we meet up again in two weeks to talk more about it and set up a plan?"

Mike protested just a little bit but that got him nowhere, and soon after that they left and headed back home.

"Two weeks until we have a meeting about it." Mike complained in the car.

"You are going to do what you are told." Harvey warned him.

"I'm fine!"

"You slept ten hours last night, and it wasn't enough. One workday and you would have to be admitted from exhaustion."

"Oh, shut up. I said it was like eight."

"Seriously Mike, you are not going to rush this."

"I know." Mike muttered. "I won't okay."

"Why do you want to go back to work so badly all of a sudden?"

"I don't know. I'm bored. All l do is rest all the time."

"That's because you need it. Rest."

"Whatever. "

Harvey rolled his eyes at the other man. Honestly, he didn't care if Mike was bored. Maybe he should stop giving Mike work too. The doctor had talked about the risk involved with doing too much too soon, and they were not going to risk anything.

But two weeks passed quickly, and they returned to the hospital for another discussion. Mike had been doing fine and nothing had happened . The kid hadn't brought up the subject of returning to work again. Harvey suspected that Mike did it intentionally to prove that he was fine and not that eager to go back as Harvey thought he was. He often insisted that he was fine though, and that Harvey could go to work and leave Mike alone at home if he wanted. He still hadn't done that though. Adam still came regularly, and the only time Mike was alone was when he took a cab to his group therapy sessions.

This meeting went in the direction that Mike had hoped for, and it was decided that he would be allowed to go back to work again.

Before the meeting Harvey had brought it up with Mike again, and the kid questioned his hesitation.

"Harvey, come on. What is it? Is it that you don't want to have me back?" Mike had asked him.

"Of course, I want you back. But only if you really are ready for it. And I'm asking if you are."

"Yes, I am." Mike insisted.

"It's just that earlier you have said that you didn't feel like you belonged there anymore. Remember that? Because I do."

Mike looked away and Harvey thought that he was blushing a bit.

"I know I said that. And that's what it felt like then, Harvey. But I don't know, I don't feel like that anymore. I promise."

Harvey narrowed his eyes and looked into the younger man's eyes for a minute. Mike didn't look away.

"Okay then. We'll see what your doctor says."

And it turned out that the doctor approved. At least for a trial period. Mike was still receiving treatment and that had to always come first. Harvey reminded the doctor that he was Mike's boss and that he was going to make sure that would be the case.

Harvey wasn't sure on how he felt himself about Mike going back to work and returning to being Mike's boss again. It was such a long time ago now since they had had that kind of relationship and he didn't know if he would be able to treat Mike any different than he was doing now. Because it had been hugely different before Mike came to live with him. He remembered himself yelling at the kid the days before Mike told him about his diagnose. He had been an awful boss.

Mike probably would want him to treat him like before to a certain degree, to not treat him different. Harvey didn't know if he could do that because everything was different from back then.

It was decided that Mike would be allowed to go back to work for a couple of hours twice a week. They would start with that and see how that would go. If it went well Mike could go up to working a couple of hours every day.

Mike complained that he wouldn't get anything done in two or three hours. Harvey told him to be quiet.

"If things go well, you can head up to working 50 %." The doctor said. "But we are going to take it slow and see how much you can handle. Mike, this won't be easy. It won't be like before. I hope you are aware of that. You still have cancer."

Mike looked like he wanted to complain some more, but instead he nodded.

They also talked about if it was possible for Mike to be alone during the day and was told that since Mike's heart had been stable for such a long time now, it shouldn't be a problem if Mike was alone for a couple of hours.

"But it's of course good if you have people close by to help you if something happens."

"But I would feel it, if something were about to happen right?" Mike asked.

"Most likely you would. Any irregular heartbeats, sudden fatigue, or fevers, you know what I'm talking about, then I would say that you need some company. But as long as you feel fine, and take it easy it shouldn't be a problem."

Harvey wasn't sure about the whole thing and Mike spent the whole car ride back home trying to make his point that he was fine alone.

"You would also save some money if you don't have to pay Adam to stay with me every time you go to work."

"This isn't a money issue Mike."

"But it's a factor."

"Let's just take it one thing at the time, okay. You are getting back to work."

Mike smiled widely. "Yeah. That's great."

"We'll see how you feel after your first day."

"Yeah, when is that going to be? Tomorrow?"

"Monday."

"Oh, come on Harvey. It's Tuesday today."

"I'm your boss, remember."

Mike rolled his eyes at him and looked out of the window.

"Besides, I think you need some time to get some new suits. I doubt your old one's will fit you."

"Oh shit." Mike looked down on himself. "I didn't think about that, but you are probably right. Is the hat okay though? I mean it's not that professional…"

"Don't worry about it. And I'll tell Donna to take you shopping. You can buy some new suits then that will go with the hats."

"Okay." Mike looked away again. Harvey studied him. He had sunken into himself a bit now and had a worried expression on his face. Harvey suspected that Mike hadn't thought this all the way through. But he certainly needed some new clothes. The cancer had made him go down at least two sizes, if not more.

Mike didn't talk much that evening and spent it in his room. Harvey came to find him when it was time for dinner. When he opened the door and stepped inside it looked like a bomb had gone off inside Mike's wardrobe. Clothes were spread across the floor and furniture. Harvey could see a couple of suits thrown on a pile on the floor behind the door.

Mike himself were laying curled up on the bed with his back against Harvey.

"Okay. What happened here?" Harvey carefully asked and bent down to pick up a suit jacket.

"I just wanted to see if anything fit, but you were right. It doesn't. I look ridiculous." Mike muttered and Harvey wondered if he had been crying because he wouldn't turn around.

"I'm sure Donna will love to go shopping with you."

Mike didn't move or answer.

"Do you want me to get rid these then?" Harvey asked.

Mike turned to looked at him. "Yeah." He said when he saw that Harvey was standing by the pile of suits. Then he smirked a little.

"Leave the ties."

Harvey smiled back at him and shook his head, then he bent down and scooped up the suits. He wasn't going to throw anything away. Just store it somewhere until Mike got in better shape and would fit them again.

-SUITS-

He was going back to work. Mike could hardly believe it. Just four months ago he had thought that he was going to die, and now he was slightly panicking in the suit's aisle in an expensive clothing store.

"Mike? How about this one?" Donna asked and held up a dark gray suit towards him.

"Eh… I don't know Donna. Why don't you choose?"

"Consider it done. You go and sit over there." She ordered him and pointed to a leather chair next to a mirror. Mike did what he was told. A little while later she came over to him with a few suits that she wanted him to try and ushered him towards the dressing rooms. Then she had him trying all the options she had found. Mike avoided the mirror as he undressed and quickly pulled the suit jacket on. The pants were a bit loose, but a belt would do the trick. The jacket however didn't fit at all. It hung loosely around his chest and shoulders. He couldn't show up at work looking like that. He quickly changed to the next one.

"How is it going?" Donna asked from the other side of the curtain. "Show me."

"I don't know." Mike muttered. "I look stupid. Harvey won't let me inside the building looking like this."

"It can't be that bad. Let me see."

Mike sighed and pulled the curtain away. He watched how Donna tried to keep her expression neutral.

"Oh. Well…" She said. "That's the slimmest size. But I'm sure they can help us out."

Donna went to get one of the store employees and Mike stood there as they took his measurements.

"When you get better you will grow into your old ones again." Donna comforted him. "We'll just get you a few suits that you can wear in the meantime."

Mike, who wasn't that sure of that, just nodded. This didn't exactly boost his confidence and yet again he was unsure about going back to work. Lately he had started to miss it a lot and he would daydream about sitting behind a desk trying to find those details that would crack the case. But now as the day when it would happen grew closer, he started to feel hesitant again. What if he couldn't handle it?

He had told Harvey that he felt ready, assured his boss that he was up for it, but now he didn't know. Especially after having tried all his suits and found that they didn't fit him anymore it almost felt like a sign. He wasn't cut out for it. He still was a fraud, and now he felt even more like one. Now he was about to fake it even more.

Harvey was on to him though, and at times Mike got the impression that the other man didn't want him to come back. Harvey worried about him; Mike knew that. He worried about that Mike would exhaust himself and get worse again. That the stress of working as a lawyer would get to him, maybe get him more heart problems. It was nice that Harvey worried, and it made him feel like he had an out. If he couldn't handle it Harvey would let him go home.

He needed to move on with his life now when he was getting healthier. He needed to take back some control. He needed to be more independent from Harvey. He also looked forward to getting paid again. He would be able to give some back to Harvey since the older man was paying for everything. He knew that Harvey wouldn't accept his money, but at least he could start paying for food and stuff.

On Friday during lunch Donna came over with the three suits they had bought. She had Mike put on a shirt and then try them all on. They all now fit him perfectly.

"You look sharp." Donna told him and gave him a hug.

"Here. I got you these as well." She pulled out three knitted hats from a bag. They looked to be made in the same colors as the suits, in a thin fabric.

Mike laughed as he put one on. "It's not that bad." He said. "Thank you, Donna."

"Not bad. What are you talking about? You will be the best dressed man on the firm." Donna smiled as she reached up to adjust the hat a little bit.

Mike smiled back and looked at himself in the mirror. He almost looked like his old self. At least he could see a little bit of that guy there. He still was too pale, he had dark circles around his eyes and a bruise on his left cheek that he didn't know where it had come from. His lips were too dry and there was something about his eyes that told him that he still wasn't well. They looked exhausted, even when he smiled. Like he couldn't open them fully. And the lack of hair didn't help one bit.

After Mike had changed back to his hoodie and sweatpants Donna made them some tea and they sat down at the table together. Donna wanted to know how he felt about going back to work and he told her a little about his doubts.

"It's not strange that you feel nervous Mike. But you know that Harvey and I will take care of you."

"Yeah, I know."

"Rachel is looking forward to seeing you again as well. And Louis wants to throw you a party. I told him to wait a bit."

"So, they all know that I'll be coming back."

"They might." She smiled. "Harvey has told Jessica about it."

"Oh."

"We have made some arrangements for you. You will only be working in Harvey's office for now. We thought it best if you don't socialize with a lot of people at first. Infections risks and all. I've booked conference rooms for all of Harvey's meetings in case he is meeting many people at once."

Mike sighed. "You don't have to do that. I can step out…"

"Of course I do. And if Harvey wants to have the meetings in his office, you can go to the conference rooms."

"You don't think that he wants me on the meetings?" Mike felt something tighten in his chest.

"Of course, he will want you there. But if you are too tired or…"

"Yes, okay. I get it. Infection risks." Mike interrupted her. He didn't know if he wanted to talk about this any longer. He jerked a little when Donna placed a hand on his.

"It will be okay Mike." She said. When he looked into her eyes, he believed her.

When Harvey got home a few hours later Mike had started to prepare the dinner. He had decided that it was time for him to start helping out a bit more at home and cooking was something that he could do. Harvey appreciated his efforts, even if Mike wasn't very good. He had a few dishes that he did well, but he found it a bit boring to wait while things were heating up in the pan, so sometimes he would leave for a bit and often when he got back it was a little bit burnt. Once he was even worried that he would set off the smoke alarm.

That weekend they spent a lot of time out on the balcony. Harvey suggested that they could take a trip somewhere over the day, but Mike declined. He didn't want to do anything that could jeopardize him going with Harvey to the office on Monday. He didn't tell Harvey that, but the other didn't push.

Then it was Sunday evening. Tomorrow was the day he had doubted would ever come. It felt almost unreal. Like he was in some weird dream. Harvey wanted to have a talk with him after dinner. He said that he wanted to go through some rules for the next day.

"This is important Mike. I need you to do this."

"Fine." Mike said. "Do what?"

"Do what I tell you. If I tell you that to go home, you are going to do it. I don't want you get overworked or push yourself too hard."

"Shouldn't I be the judge of that?"

"No. You will do as I tell you."

"But Harvey…"

"No, Mike. If you don't agree to this, you are going to stay home until you are totally cancer free."

Mike opened his mouth to argue, but he closed it again when he saw the look on Harvey's face. He knew that he wasn't going to win this argument.

"Okay." He said then. "Okay, Harvey. If you tell me to go home I will."

"Good. And if I tell you to do something else, you will do that too."

Mike had to stop himself from rolling his eyes, but he agreed to that as well.

And that was that. Harvey nodded against him and they didn't discuss it anymore. Mike figured that he would do what Harvey told him to in the beginning, but after a few weeks Harvey would probably forget it, or loosen up a bit.

He had a hard time falling asleep that night. It was annoying because he knew that he needed a good night's sleep to be able to handle a day at work. Knowing that didn't help at all, and he laid awake for hours before he managed to fall asleep. He felt anxious about it, but at the same time he couldn't wait. He would finally get some normalcy back, or at least normal from before. He wanted to do well, and show Harvey that he was up for it, but it also felt good knowing that Harvey wouldn't judge him if he needed to head home early or something. Harvey would probably give him a ride home then.

He had texted Rachel for a bit this evening and she seemed excited that he was coming back. He looked forward to seeing her. She had suggested that they would meet outside the building for a cup of coffee before heading up to the office. He had agreed and hoped that Harvey wouldn't mind.

"What? You don't want to be seen with me, going inside?" Harvey said when Mike brought it up the next morning at the breakfast table. Mike rolled his eyes at him.

"Yes, it's exactly that." He said.

Harvey laughed a little. "Mike, you don't need to ask for my permission."

"That's not what it sounded like yesterday. What's with, I want you to do exactly what I tell you?"

"You know what I mean." Harvey didn't even look at him when he said that. He just looked down on his phone again and took a sip of his coffee.

"Are you even allowed to have coffee?" he then asked.

"I'll take something else."

"Hot chocolate?" Harvey smirked.

"Yeah. Maybe."

The banter was nice. It made Mike feel less nervous. He was dressed in one of his new suits and the fabric felt stiff and a little uncomfortable against his skin. He spent some time in the bathroom looking at his image. It wasn't much he could do about his skin color or the circles around his eyes. And no matter what Donna said it did look stupid with a hat and a suit. He jumped a little when Harvey knocked on the door.

"Are you at least going with me in the car?" He asked.

Mike straightened his tie a bit and stepped outside.

Harvey was standing there in his own suit and studied him closely. He nodded his approvement.

"You look sharp." He said.

Mike sighed a little and pulled at the suit jacket a bit. He didn't believe Harvey for a second. "Really?"

"Sure. You do." Harvey patted his back and started to lead him towards the door. "It will be fine Mike." He said.

"Yeah, I know." Mike smiled, and it was just a little forced.

"Come on then." Harvey said and pushed him out the door. "You have everything right?"

"Yeah." Mike mumbled and followed Harvey along to corridor.

In the car he felt how his heart was beating hard in his chest and he just had to put a hand over it.

"Are you okay?" Harvey immediately asked.

"Yes. I'm fine." Mike removed the hand. He didn't know why he was this nervous. When he looked at Harvey, he thought that the older man looked a bit nervous as well. He also looked like he wanted to say something but was holding back. He turned towards Mike and opened his mouth several times, but in the end he didn't speak.

When they got to the office building and stepped out of the car, Rachel was waiting for them over by the coffee cart, and Mike waived at her. When he started to walk towards her Harvey grabbed his arm and turned him around to face him.

"Mike, listen. I want you to take it easy today, do you hear?"

Mike met Harvey's eyes and he could see that Harvey was serious. He nodded.

"I will."

"I just have a hard time deciding if this is a good idea or not. If you really are ready."

"Harvey." Mike carefully removed himself from Harvey's grip on his arm. "I am ready, and I will take it easy. I promise. Don't worry, okay? I'll see you soon."

He started to walk over to Rachel. She was smiling at him and he smiled back as he adjusted his hat a little.

"Okay. See you soon then." Harvey called after him.

Rachel hugged him as he came up to her, she then handed him a cup of coffee.

"It's so nice to have you back." She said.

"It's nice to be back. I can hardly believe it."

They talked for a while. Rachel updated him on the latest gossip from the firm, to get him up to speed, as she put it. Then they walked inside, and as they passed through the entrance Mike took a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked him.

He just nodded.

It felt strange to stand there in the elevator on his way up to the office. Finally, the day was here, his first day back to work as Harvey's associate. He was actually going to work again. Do normal work. He had been looking forward to this moment ever since like the second day of cancer. To be able to feel normal again and to not have the illness hanging over him like some sort of dark cloud that was always present. He was free from that now. Or not really, but at least he was going to pretend that he was, for the few hours he was here today.

He was nervous as hell, for some weird reason. What if that strange feeling of him not belonging here anymore, returned? What would he do then? Or what if he wouldn't be able to keep up anymore? What if he couldn't? No, he couldn't think like that. He forced the thoughts away as the elevator came to a stop. He took a deep breath again, met Rachel's eyes and stepped out of the elevator.

They started to walk down the corridor, slowly, because Mike wanted to remember this. Remember what it was like to walk in these halls again. They stopped outside the breakroom and Rachel smiled at him.

"How does it feel?" She wanted to know.

"Strange." Was all Mike could come up with.

They parted ways after that, and Mike started to walk towards Harvey's office. Donna greeted him with a hug and a kiss on his cheek, and he chatted a little with her. It warmed him that she seemed so happy to have him there.

Harvey was waiting for him and smiled when Mike knocked on the door before he stepped inside his office.

"What's this? You knocked?"

"What? I thought I should make a good first impression on my first day back."

"You kind of ruined it when you explained that."

"Whatever."

Mike walked in and sat down on the chair across from Harvey. He pushed the cup of coffee he still carried towards the older man.

"I brought you coffee as well." He said.

Harvey frowned. "You got this from Rachel didn't you?"

Mike shrugged and Harvey took a sip. He frowned and pushed the cup away. "This is cold." He said.

"So how are you feeling?" He then asked.

Mike sighed a little and let his gaze wander around the room. Everything looked like it was supposed to. That fridge that Donna had put into Harvey's office with snacks for Mike, was still there. He didn't understand why Harvey hadn't gotten rid of it. It looked out of place. But other than that, it looked normal in Harvey's office. Just like the first time he had been there.

"I feel good Harvey. I feel very good." He said. "Maybe a little nervous, but mostly good."

Harvey smiled at him. "I'm glad to hear that Mike. It's good to have you back here."

Mike smiled back. For a moment he felt his eyes burn a bit. It was a familiar feeling, but this time it was out of happiness rather than anything else.

"And finally, I don't have to do this crap by myself anymore." Harvey suddenly threw a file at him. Mike clumsily caught it.

"I expect you to have it finished by noon." He said.

Mike couldn't help but let out a laugh as he stood up.

"You'll have it by ten." He said and started to head for the door, but Harvey stopped him.

"And where do you think you are going?" He asked. He then nodded towards the table were Mike saw both his computer and his messenger bag. It was a long time ago he had seen that.

"You are serious about me working in your office? Do you want to babysit me or what? Harvey, I told you I'm fine. I'm perfectly capable…"

"Oh, shut up would you. You know the rules. I know Donna went through everything with you."

"No, Harvey, come on." He rolled his eyes but walked over and sat down. "How did you even get this in here?" He glanced inside his messenger bag and saw a few pill bottles.

Harvey ignored him, but he was smiling towards his computer screen when Mike looked at him. Mike felt something warm well up into him as he opened the first page of the file and started to read.

Getting into the reading worked a lot better than he thought it would, and just a few minutes after he started, he was fully engrossed in what he was reading. The hours he was allowed to stay at work flew by quickly. A few people came to see him during that time too. Louis and Jessica stopped by, and Louis even hugged him. He really appreciated them and was only a little embarrassed. He could remember all the times they had come to see him when he had been doing much worse. They had been by his hospital bed when they had thought that he would die. Louis had sat with him and had fed him when he was too weak to eat by himself. Louis had red to him.

Now they were back to being his coworkers, it was weird. However, they didn't mention anything about past visits or the feeding part. They talked to him about being back, about the work he was doing, Louis even told him that he felt proud of him. Mike had looked at the floor and felt how his cheeks heated when he mumbled out a thanks. He couldn't help but feeling awkward.

Harvey of course brought up his blushing after Louis had left and Mike told him about that feeling.

"It will get better with time. Soon no one will remember that you were sick."

"I highly doubt that. Jessica stared at my head."

"Your hair will grow back. I don't get your obsession about that."

"It's not an obsession. If anyone is obsessed with his look here, it's you."

"I don't know what you are talking about. Get back to work." Harvey said.

Harvey spoke again when it was time for lunch.

"You want to go out for lunch then? My treat." He said.

Mike looked into Harvey's eyes and smiled.

"Sure." He said and stood up.

"Bring your bag. I'm taking you home after."

"Harvey…" Mike started to complain but closed his mouth after a look from Harvey. "Yeah, alright." He grabbed his bag and as soon he was within reach Harvey took it from him to carry it for him. Mike didn't say anything about that as Harvey steered him in front of him towards the elevators.

They went to a nearby restaurant and Harvey ordered for the both of them. Mike just smiled and let him do it. Harvey was in a especially good mood and talked a lot.

"It went well today, didn't it?" He asked as he started on his meal.

"Yeah, sure. It was good." Mike said.

"And you didn't have any problems with anything right? Nothing you have neglected to tell me about?"

"No, I'm fine." Mike patiently answered. He knew what Harvey was fishing for.

"Good, that's good. We'll see how it goes the next time then."

"Tomorrow?" Mike asked in a light tone as he took a bite of his own food.

"On Wednesday." Harvey said sternly.

Mike smirked a little. He knew that it wouldn't work. He was only allowed twice a week for now, and Harvey would follow that no matter what Mike said.

If he was honest, he didn't know what to think about his first day back. He had thought that it would have felt more special. That it would be a more memorable moment, but it had been pretty uneventful. All he had done was to sit on a chair and read through documents, disturbed a couple of times with people coming in to greet him. It had been welcomed of course, but after every time he had a hard time getting the concentration back. He tried to not think too much about that, it was the first day. He wasn't used to it. He had to give himself time. At least that was what he was trying to tell himself.

By the time they got home Mike felt tired. He wondered what Harvey would say if he took a nap. Would he make a big deal out of it and then prohibit Mike from returning to work for another week? But it was natural to be tired, right?

"I'm going to go and lay down and read something." Mike said and closed the door to his room. He was just going to close his eyes for half an hour or so. He didn't bother changing clothes before he laid down on the bed. As soon as he closed his eyes, he felt himself fade away.

-SUITS-

Mike had closed his door, and that worried Harvey. The kid had said that he was going to go lay down and read. That was some bullshit right there. What did the kid think of him?

Harvey couldn't help but think that something had to be wrong. Today had gone too easy. Mike had seemed upbeat and happy, maybe a little bit quiet during the time when Louis and Jessica visited, but that might just be that he felt a little uncomfortable around them. Not that Harvey could understand why. Both had seen Mike at his worst, so what was the kid uncomfortable about? Or maybe it was just that. They had seen him in the most vulnerable position a person could be in, and now they were back to being the people he worked under.

Why did Mike close the door though? He hardly never did that. Something just had to be wrong. But why hadn't the kid talked to him? Was it something he had said or done? But Harvey couldn't think of anything. He decided to get to the bottom of it though, but for the moment he would let Mike be. He would give him an hour or two at least. After that he would go and see if there was anything that was bothering Mike.

He actually managed to wait for two hours. He had made a few trips past the kid's door but hadn't been able to hear something. Now he carefully knocked on the door and called the Mike's name. There was no answer, so Harvey stepped inside. He had almost expected Mike to be upset, maybe in tears, but for some reason he hadn't expected Mike to be fast asleep on his bed. The knock on the door, Harvey calling for him, or him opening the door and stepping inside, nothing of that had woken him.

Harvey smiled a little when he watched Mike on the bed, still in his suit. He looked totally exhausted. Being at work for about four hours had really taken a lot out of him. Harvey carefully backed out of the room and closed the door behind him. He was going to let Mike sleep.

However, when it was starting to be time for dinner and Mike still hadn't showed up Harvey started to get worried again and returned to the kid's bedroom. He probably shouldn't have been surprised when he saw that Mike still was sleeping. This time he carefully shook the man awake.

Mike blinked rapidly a couple of times before he looked up at Harvey.

"Hi." He said and drew a hand over his face.

"Hey yourself." Harvey said.

"How long?" Mike asked.

"Almost five hours."

"Shit." Mike said, but he remained where he was. "I guess I was tired."

"I guess you were. I'm going to get us some food. Any preferences?"

"No. I'm not hungry." Mike said and yawned and turned on his back. It looked like his eyes were falling close again, but Harvey wasn't having that.

"Hey, get up. Go set the table. And don't sleep in your suits!" Harvey told him and left the room again. He heard how Mike groaned behind him and muttered something about the fact that Harvey hadn't cooked anything yet. Harvey told him that he already had ordered food.

"Then why did you ask what I wanted?" Mike called after him.

A couple of minutes later Mike joined him in the kitchen were Harvey was on his way of setting the table himself. Mike had changed clothes and had a hoodie on, with the hood over his head. He leaned his head in his hands and seemed to fight to keep his eyes open.

"I don't know why I'm so tired. I mean, I slept badly last night, but this…" He complained.

"It was a big day today." Harvey said.

Mike didn't answer him, just stared down at the table in front of him.

"Are you doing okay?" Harvey asked him.

Mike nodded, then he forced a smile and Harvey thought that he could see how the kid's eyes turned shiny. Harvey leaned over the kitchen island towards him.

"Hey. Talk to me." He said kindly.

Mike smiled again, a bit more honest this time, and wiped his eyes.

"I don't know." He said. "I guess it affected me more than I thought it would to go back to work. I feel totally drained, but it's good." He shrugged a little and laughed. "I'm… I'm happy about today. I don't even know why." He pointed to his eyes. "But I'm fine. I am." He said.

"Yeah, you are fine." Harvey patted his arm a little and went to the fridge to get out Mike's favorite juice.

The kid was just tired, emotionally, and physically. Today had been a big step in the right direction. It was okay to be tired then. Harvey changed his mind about the table and instead he set them up to eat by the couch. Mike seemed to apricate that and sank down on his usual spot and took a sip of his drink.

When the food arrived, Harvey put on an episode of one of the shows they were watching, and they ate in silence. Mike had half of his portion before he put it away on the table, leaned back and fell asleep again. Harvey just let him. He paused the show and found something else that he could watch, Mike didn't want to miss the show, and Harvey didn't want to watch the episode again. He ate the rest of the dinner with a sleeping Mike next to him.

Harvey worked from home the next day to keep Mike company. He refused to give any work to the younger man when he asked for it.

"You are supposed to rest today."

"If you didn't notice it, I did a lot of resting yesterday, I'm fine now."

But Harvey ignored him, and Mike didn't ask again. He seemed a little embarrassed about having slept for so long yesterday, but they didn't talk about it. Besides, it was probably a good idea that Mike got a lot of sleep, Harvey didn't want the fact that he was now working to affect his health.

They spent the whole day in the apartment, even if Harvey played with the thought about going out for a run later. Mike seemed a little restless too and paced back and forth around the living room with his phone in his hands. Harvey thought that he was playing some game.

The younger man surprised him by offering to cook them dinner, and Harvey didn't say no to that. Although he slightly regretted it as Mike spent more time complaining that they didn't have the ingredients that he wanted to use, than he did cooking.

Harvey woke Mike up a little earlier the next morning, so that he had some time to stay a while in bed before they had breakfast. Mike came out in his sleeping wear with his hat slid down too far, so Harvey wondered if he even saw anything. Mike yawn and reached for his plate with food that Harvey had set out for him.

"And why are you not dressed?" Harvey asked and pushed the kid's pills towards him too.

"I'll do it later."

Harvey opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it again. So, what if they were a little bit late.

They were almost an hour late, since Mike couldn't decide which suit he wanted to wear. He didn't listen to Harvey that told him four times that it didn't matter what he wore. He also ignored it when Harvey told him that he needed to pick a suit the night before, and Harvey felt like he was some father for a damn teenager.

"You are lucky I don't have any meetings." Harvey muttered in the car as they were stuck in traffic.

"You never have meetings early in the morning." Mike said.

"Yes, I do."

"Well, then you are late every time, because I happen to remember the times you have been leaving the condo and that's almost never before eight thirty."

"Maybe I had them when you were too drugged up to notice."

"You didn't leave at all then." Mike smiled at him when Harvey looked over to him. Harvey nodded a little and they stopped talking for the rest of the way. 1-0 to Mike.

The day passed without any problems. Harvey enjoyed the kid's company, and he realized how much he had missed Mike being there. They discussed the case Harvey was working on, did a little bit of movie quoting and Donna came around to fuss over Mike. She offered to take Mike home when his working hours were over, and Harvey agreed. If he was honest, he didn't get a whole lot of work done with Mike there. It was his own fault too because he enjoyed talking to the kid. It was fun to have him there. He got to see a different Mike, a version of him he didn't know how much he had missed.

Mike was asleep on his bed, carefully tucked in below a blanket, when Harvey got home later that evening. Donna was sitting on the chair next to him with a book and a cup of tea. She straightened out the blanket over Mike, a little more, and then followed Harvey to the kitchen.

"We already ate, but there are some left-overs." Donna said. "He's been really tired, I tried to get him to sleep for the night, but he wanted to wait for you."

"Well, it's not even nine. It's a bit early to sleep, even for him."

"Not when you look like Mike did."

Harvey nodded and started to lay out food on a plate.

"Do you think it's too early for him to get back to work?" He asked her.

Donna considered his question for a moment. "Maybe." She said. "But I think that if you would take it away from him it would do him more damage. He really wants this." She shook her head a little. "I don't understand why he enjoys proofing files for you this much. But maybe it's just the normalcy he is after."

"But if it effects his health this much, I'm not comfortable with him working."

"It's new still. He is not used to it yet. Give it some time Harvey. It's his second day. And this is what he is afraid of, that you will refuse him. That's why he wanted to wait up for you, to show you that he can handle it."

"Alright. I'll tell him not to worry about it."

"You do that, I think I'm going to head home. He hasn't taken the evening meds yet."

Harvey followed her to the door and thanked her, he went over to Mike's room. For a moment he stood there, watching the sleeping man. He looked peaceful, and Harvey almost wished that he didn't need to wake him. He sat down on the edge of the bed, thinking that the movement would wake Mike up, but it didn't. Harvey carefully placed a hand on Mike's shoulder and shook him a little.

Mike stirred and blinked a little, then his hand shot forward and grabbed a hold of Harvey's. Mike pulled their hand's a bit closer to him and closed his eyes again. Harvey was a bit surprised at first, but he didn't let go. He smiled as he squeezed Mike's hand a little and whispered to him to wake up.

His eyes opened again, and he looked up at Harvey.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey yourself." Harvey moved their hands up and down a little.

"Oh." Mike said and then seemed to notice that they were holding hands. He quickly let go and rubbed at his eyes a little. Harvey could see that he started to blush and smiled to himself.

"What time is it?" Mike asked.

"Eight fifty-two."

"What? In the morning?" Mike clumsily heaved himself up to sitting with a bewildered look on his face.

"No, you idiot. In the evening. You need to take your meds."

"Oh." Mike's whole body relaxed and sank down on the bed again. He looked around. "Where are they then?"

Harvey rolled his eyes. "Do I have to do everything around here. Go and get them yourself, they are in the kitchen. And then you can keep me company while I eat."

Mike yawned as he followed Harvey to the kitchen. "So, does this mean that you are done serving me things now?" He asked.

"When do I serve you things?"

"Oh, I don't know. All the time?" Mike pointed at the meds that were laid out in a little cup, with a glass of water next to it.

"That was Donna."

Mike laughed a little and started to swallow the medication. He then sat down on one of the chairs by the kitchen island and asked Harvey about the case they were working on.

-SUITS-

The first week of Mike being back to work was coming to an end. He still had a hard time believing it.

It was now Thursday, and Mike was laying on his back on the couch going through every single thing that had happened during the two days he had been at the office. Harvey was hanging out in his room, working or whatever he was doing. Mike could hear him talking quietly to someone on the phone. Harvey insisted that he had to stay at home to keep him company or watch so that nothing would happen to him. It didn't matter what Mike said. He felt fine, and he was sure that nothing would happen if he stayed at home by himself, but Harvey said that nothing would change in that department until his doctor said otherwise.

"I'll consider it after your last treatment." Harvey had said, which Mike found ridiculous. But it wasn't like he was going to press this matter. A part of him still worried, a part of him, even though it was a small part now a days, were still terrified of the feeling of his heart suddenly beating too hard. Or that feeling when his chest tightened, and it felt like he wasn't getting enough air. Or the pain. No, if he was honest, he wasn't ready to be left entirely alone yet. That wasn't anything he was going to tell Harvey though.

Rachel had seemed so happy to see him, yesterday. He had walked passed her office and stopped to say hallo. He remembered in the beginning when she had been so annoyed with him for bothering her, when he was new and knew nothing about being a lawyer. Now, when he stepped inside her office her whole face turned into a smile when she saw that it was him. The sun had been reflecting from the windows of the building across and it had looked like her hair had been shining. She had looked so beautiful. He couldn't help but going through their whole conversation. Unfortunately, it hadn't lasted that long, because Louis had interrupted them, and had wanted Mike to come with him to his office.

They had all been so nice to him. Even the other associates, the few he had seen had been friendly. There were a couple of new faces there, but also a few old ones. He had felt a tiny stab in his chest at the thought of them getting ahead of him, advancing within the firm, while he was stuck. The cancer held him back from all of that, and to catch up he would have to work very hard, which Harvey never would allow him to do. But he figured that was just something he needed to accept.

At least he was alive still. He would have the change to catch up. For a while that hadn't been in his reality. It was now. Mostly thanks to Harvey. Maybe he should go and keep the older man company.

The rest of the week was slow. Mike went to the hospital for a bit, went to therapy, and spent a lot of time on the balcony with either Harvey or Donna.

He tried to improve his sleeping habits. He figured that he needed to get it a bit more normal, stop taking naps during the day and instead sleep early at night. If he managed that, his chances of feeling good at the days he was allowed to go to the office, would rise. It didn't go that well, and whenever he and Harvey would watch movies or TV shows at night, he could barely keep his eyes opened, and often fell asleep after ten or fifteen minutes. Harvey just laughed at him and said that he was doomed to fail.

"Why are you saying that?" Mike complained and yawned.

"You sleep more than anyone I know. You sleep more than babies."

"You don't know any babies. And besides, it's not my fault. It's the meds, they are working against me."

"Yeah, well, maybe you can come off a few of them soon." Harvey said.

He had a point about that. His doctor had brought it up on the last visit, that they were to look into if they could make any changes to his medications soon. Mike didn't know what soon meant though, and he never got a straight answer, but it was hopeful to hear. In a few weeks he would yet again start a session of treatment, but it wouldn't be as aggressive as previous sessions.

He tried not to think so much about the treatment sessions though, he would rather focus on work for now. His doctor had assured him that he would be able to work at the same time as he got the treatment though, so he wouldn't have to stop working because of it.

The next Monday arrived and Mike and Harvey yet again went to work together. This week they stayed a bit longer both of the two days Mike was allowed there. It was Donna who made sure they left eventually. Mike couldn't help that complain to Harvey about the fact that he only could work for two days.

"It's five days of doing nothing, Harvey." He tried. However, Harvey didn't care at all about anything he said on the matter. He was set on following doctors orders.

"It's not nothing, and you know it." He said. "You are resting, healing. Getting better. Don't waste your breath, arguing about this."

"But I can work more."

"I know you probably can, but you won't. It's not up for discussion."

Mike understood that nothing he said would make Harvey change his mind. It was just that he was getting restless at home sometimes. One thing that changed that second week though, was that Harvey let him go home alone for a few hours, before he followed.

"Just this once. I need to meet this client today. He refused to postpone." Harvey had said.

Mike had assured him that it was fine, and that he didn't need Harvey to postpone things for him anymore. Harvey just looked at him like Mike had said something in a foreign language.

"I'll see you at home. Don't do anything stupid and call me if something happens."

Mike couldn't help but roll his eyes at that, but he didn't think that Harvey saw that.

It was kind of liberating to be alone at the apartment. He didn't know why it felt like that now. Just a month ago it would probably have freaked him out. But his mindset was kind of different now. Ever since he had gotten the word that his cancer was regressing, it had been different. Sure, everything wasn't rainbows and sunshine all the time, but overall, he did feel better.

The group therapy he went to might have a little to do with it as well. He enjoyed the sessions more and more, and it was nice to meet people that were in the same situation as him. They all shared something that others wouldn't understand. They had all fought with the same feelings that he had, had the same questions and fears. They talked about things that he hadn't talked with Harvey about, things he couldn't talk with Harvey about. Sometimes they also got homework to do until they met up the next time. It could be things like writing a list of things that they were grateful for, or things that they thought that the cancer had thought them, if any.

Mike had a hard time with that one, at least in the beginning. He had talked with Donna about it, and after that he had one of the longest lists of the group. The main thing for him had to be that he had learnt to ask for help in a whole new way. Donna probably didn't agree fully, she still thought that he could be more open about his needs, but Mike remembered how he had been before the cancer. His Grammy had been the only person he fully trusted and relied on, but now he had a whole bunch of people that had showed him how much they were willing to do for him, to make sure that he was okay.

He had learned to rely fully on other people, on Harvey. He had laid his life in the other man's hands, and he hadn't regretted it for a second. When he had written that list, he had gotten a few tears in his eyes, and he had been glad that Harvey hadn't seen that. Even though, showing his emotions more was one of the things on the list. He just didn't feel like explaining why he was crying over a piece of paper, to Harvey.

For a couple of weeks things were going fine. Mike had been going to work for three weeks in a row now. Harvey had said that he was pleased with the work Mike was doing, and Harvey had no idea how much it meant for him to hear that. Harvey said it on a day when he hadn't slept that much, after some annoying nightmare, and Mike had been forced to excuse himself and go to the bathroom for a moment. It was just that he couldn't hold back tears, from the relief and happiness he had felt hearing those words.

He knew that Harvey would think him silly for being so emotional about this, but it was just that it had been one of his fears with coming back to work. That he wouldn't be able to handle it anymore. That he would have lost the abilities that Harvey had valued about him when he was hired, that the cancer would have taken that part of him. That the cancer would have broken him too much, but Harvey was pleased, and Mike felt a bit more whole hearing that.

-SUITS-