Chapter four
It had been two days since Alan had witnessed Sammy Morgan's tragic accident. He had yet to tell his father and other brothers about what had happened and he had made Scott promise not to tell them either, he would do it himself.
Loading up his computer, Alan began reading the online reports of the accident. It was easier to read the news online, that way he didn't have his brothers constantly asking him why he was reading that 'rubbish'; though the death of a child couldn't really be called 'rubbish,' could it? But his brothers knew that Alan was never interested in the news, unless of course, it ended in International Rescue having to be called out to help with some disaster or other.
A pop up appeared on the screen: YOU HAVE MAIL.
Alan clicked on it, idly wondering who could have mailed him. Only his brothers and father, plus a couple of his old college buddies had his E-mail.
It was from Cassie, an instant message. Alan suddenly remembered that he had given Cassie his address just before he left the hospital.
The message read: Hi Alan, sorry if this is a bad time, but I need to ask you something.
Alan read the message, then typed: No, of course it's not a bad time. What did you want to ask me? Then he clicked send, and waited.
A couple of minutes later, Cassie's reply came through: It's Sammy's funeral tomorrow, I was wondering if you wanted to come? I could do with the company.
I'll have to sort it with my boss first, Alan wrote, suddenly remembering that he was due to swap space duty with John tomorrow, but yeah I'll come. How are you coping?
As well as I can be, I never knew it would be this hard though, I think about him all the time.
Why don't you tell me about it?
Ok, I'll try. Every time I go into his room I feel as if he's still there….and I can smell his scent too….. I still wash his quilt cover, though I know he will never use it again…I still pack his lunch for school as well, then I remember and I have to throw it away, like the driver threw my son's life away. Oh Alan, I never knew that losing someone so close to you could hurt this much. I wish with all my heart that I could just forget-not Sammy, I'll never forget him. I just wish that I could forget the cruel way he was taken. Do you know what it's like to lose someone close to you?
Yeah I do sort of, though she was taken just after I was born so I never knew her. I had my brothers to tell me about her though.
Who was she? If you don't mind me asking.
No I don't mind. She was my mom, her name was Lucille. But like I said, I never knew her, so I guess what you're going through is worse, in a sense. Though as I got older and my brothers told me more about her, I began to realise what I was missing.
How many brothers do you have?
Four. I'm the youngest as you've probably guessed. That's why I think what you're going through is worse, you have no one close to you that you can talk to. I had Scott, Virgil and John. My other brother, Gordon, I couldn't really talk to though. He was in the same boat as me-he hardly knew her because he was only a year old when she died.
I'm really sorry about your mom, Alan, truly I am. Have you ever seen what she looks like?
I've seen a couple of photos, but if I want to remember what she looked like I just look at Virgil because he's the spitting image of her. If I want to remember the earliest details of her that my brothers can remember, I go to Scott, because he's the oldest. Then, if I want to remember the quieter-more secret-things about her, I go to John because they were very close, and shared lots of things with each other. If my brothers don't want to talk about her for some reason, I go to Gordon. He can't remember much about her, but what he can really helps, such as the way she use to sing him to sleep at night.
You and your brothers sound very close. I wish I had people like that to talk to
You can always talk to me. You know that, don't you?
Yeah. Thankyou, Alan.
How are you coping with the publicity?
Not bad. Most of the journalists are very sympathetic, but others seem a bit more accusing, they think I should have watched him more, and maybe I should have.
You can't blame yourself for what happened. Alan felt like a hypocrite typing that, especially since he still blamed himself for the accident and not being able to save Sammy. That driver should never have been going that fast.
I wish they would catch that guy. I know it sounds stupid, but, I keep getting this superstitious feeling that Sammy won't be able to rest until I find who did this to him. The police don't even have a name, despite the statement you gave. It's like he's vanished of the face of the earth
" Well if he has'" Alan thought wryly, "I'll just contact John and ask him to keep a look out. Hopefully though, the guy will fall into a black hole." He's running away. Why does that not surprise me? No, I don't think you're feeling is stupid, you and Sammy both deserve justice. Listen, I'll go and talk to my boss about coming to Sammy's funeral, ok? Then I'll mail you back later, about ten-o-cock.
Yeah ok, I'll look forward to seeing you. Thanks for everything you did that day, I really appreciated it.
Don't mention it, I'll see you tomorrow. Take care of yourself.
Bye.
Alan deactivated the link, and sat back in his chair. Cassie was trying her best to be brave, but Alan knew that it would take a long time for her to get over Sammy's death. A very long time.
Switching off his computer, he went to talk to his father in the lounge.
Jeff Tracy was sitting behind his desk, filling out some forms. He was also talking to John via the monitor on Thunderbird five, Scott was on the sofa, lazily working on a crossword, Gordon sat in his swimming gear and Virgil was at the piano, though he wasn't playing it.
Alan considered waiting until his father was alone before asking him about the funeral, but then he decided to use this opportunity to tell the others what had happened. Alan knew in his heart that Virgil, John and Gordon knew something was wrong with him. After all, it wasn't often that the youngest Tracy was so quiet and withdrawn. The only person Alan confided in was Scott, but he knew he couldn't keep doing that.
Walking into the lounge, Alan gave Scott a look that his eldest brother interpreted as: 'I've decided to tell him and get it over with.'
"Dad, can I ask you something?" Alan said.
Jeff Tracy looked up at his youngest son, then addressed the monitor again. "I'll talk to you later, John."
"FAB, Father." John prepared to deactivate the link.
"Wait!" Alan cried, "this concerns you as well, John."
John raised an eyebrow at his youngest brother. "How long?"
"What?"
Come on Alan. It's obvious that you want me to stay up here for a while longer, so how long do you want?
Alan had never realised just how 'obvious' he was. "One day John, that's all. Please it's important."
Jeff looked squarely at his youngest son. "And just what is so 'important' that you can't swap with John tomorrow.?"
Alan looked at the floor, willing the tears of anger and frustration not to come, then he looked back at his father. "I have to go to a funeral."
Now everyone was listening. Alan glanced over and noticed Scott give him a slight nod of his head. Gordon was leaning forward the way he always did when there was something worth listening to, Virgil had swapped the piano stool for the arm of the couch, and John was staring out at him intently from the monitor.
"Whose funeral, son?"
Alan sighed and then told his father and brothers-except Scott-about what had happened on the mainland. He explained about the accident, the blood, waiting at the hospital, the call to Scott, giving Cassie Morgan his E-mail, the argument with Scott back home and finally the message he had just received.
When he had finished he watched for his brothers reactions. Gordon's jaw had dropped, he was rendered speechless-a surprising thing for the usually chatty Tracy. John had a far away look in his eyes, and Alan was pretty sure that he was thinking about their mom. Virgil looked at Scott, "You knew?" He asked, "why didn't you tell us?"
Scott sighed and eventually nodded. "Yeah I knew, but I promised I wouldn't say anything. Alan wanted to tell you himself."
Before Virgil could interrupt with his 'you could have told me' speech, Alan spoke up. "If you knew about this Virgil, what would you have said?"
"I would have tried to help you," Virgil answered.
"Me too," Gordon added.
Alan looked up at John who nodded, indicating that he would have said the same thing. The middle Tracy seemed incapable of speech though, thoughts of his mother still floating around in his head.
"Ok guys," Alan continued. "I'm going to ask you the same thing I asked Scott. Can you raise the dead."
The brothers in question, shook their heads.
"Then you can't help me," Alan turned back to his father. "You see sir, I have to go. Cassie has no relatives to talk to and I promised I'd be there."
Jeff stared at Alan. Never before had his youngest son been so……adamant, about something. "Ok, son, you can go. But remember it's not just up to me, after all, I'm not the one you're meant to be swapping duty with tomorrow."
Alan looked up at John, and smiled when his brother nodded. "You go kiddo, tell Cassie the Tracys send their deepest sympathies."
His brothers and father nodded.
"Thanks John," Alan was glad he had such as an understanding brother, "I will do."