A/N: Yo what's going up, homies? I'm so sorry I haven't updated lately. Have major issues going on at this end. But you probably don't wanna here my problems, if you do keep reading the A/N, if not scroll down to the line that'll say Begin Chapter Nine.
But, literally this past month has been a rollercoaster for me. It all started when my parents were convinced I was gonna kill myself. Then my dog was put down. Then I found out I may actually love someone. And to top it off, one of my friends is totally convinced that one of my teachers is in love with me. But he isn't. So…
Also! I just got a review so here's the answer:
Chapters 1- 8.5 are all Jude's dream. This chapter and the last half of chapter 8 are reality, Okie?
On with the story!
Begin Chapter Nine
It was him. His raspy voice was a voice I would know from anywhere. It had been… at least 5 years since I heard that voice. But that voice… Brought an onslaught of memories that I didn't want to remember, I was breaking down right then and there. I turned to run out of the studio, when he turned around and saw me.
"Jude…" He whispered. That's when I froze. I couldn't move, even if I wanted too. Shit… "Jude?" He was waiting for an answer. "Jude… Look, I'm sorry-"
"Don't even go there Quincy. Don't even go there." I cut in.
"Jude, just please hear me out."
"No Quincy. I'm done with your explanations. I'm done with your sorries. I'm done with you." I then turn around to walk out. But he grabs my wrist.
"Jude… Please…" It was a weird moment for me. I had never heard Tommy beg before. Creepy…
"Fine Quincy. You have 5 minutes, starting now. Go."
"Jude. I had to leave. We were getting too close. It was illegal. There was a problem I needed to fix. You can try to forget me, but I know you won't. And if you let me go, I know it will haunt you where ever you go. I know you better than you know yourself Harrison. I can read you like an open book. I can see that you want to hate me, but you can't. I can see that you wanna be mad at me, but you can't." I interrupted him there.
"Wipe that smug look off your face, Quincy. And about that problem you had to fix? What is that all about?"
He took a deep breath, and said, "I had to find myself. I was so… Not myself from Darius, from changing to Darius' needs. I needed to find myself before I could ever figure you out. And I did. I now know that I was never sure on who I was. So I'm going to re-create myself. I hope you know that I'm doing this all for you. All for you. Well, do you have a song to record, or are you here for no reason?" Here comes Producer Tommy. Ugh, I hate it when he just switches his personalities like that. Grrr…
"Yea, I do."
"Well, come on then." And then he came behind the soundboard, and I grabbed a guitar. I messed with some of the chords for a minute. Then I started.
Wishing that I belonged in this world,
Wishing that I was your girl,
Wishing you held me in your arms last night,
Wishing what we have could be right...
Cuz I'm dying,
Done trying,
And nothing is the same,
Heart broken,
Self spoken,
Living in yesterday,
Cuz in your arms,
I finally feel safe,
In your arms,
I'm protected from my pain,
In your arms,
All my wishes come true,
In your arms,
I try to tell you the truth,
In your arms...
I feel the blood speeding,
In your veins,
I feel your heart beating,
As you call out my name,
Running away from all of my problems,
Running right into you,
You were always my biggest problem,
And I wish you knew the truth,
Seeing my tears reflected on your face,
Seeing your heart has no empty space,
You cry for the sadness I feel,
I cry for believing we could've been real,
But now there's no reason left,
You left me like the rest,
And you knew about my problem,
You tried to make me change,
You tried to tell me that I wasn't me,
That I was acting strange,
But what right do you have,
Telling me that I am wrong,
You never knew me,
You were pretending all along,
You lied,
I cried,
You took the other side,
I died,
But it was always a game,
And I can't stand the heat,
I wished I knew about this flame,
So I wouldn't be beat,
But you've won this time,
I've already fallen for your lies,
But every time I think back,
I only believed your eyes...
I only believed that you would keep me from harm,
Letting me stay in your arms...
Cuz I'm dying,
Done trying,
And nothing is the same,
Heart broken,
Self spoken,
Living in yesterday,
Cuz in your arms,
I finally feel safe,
In your arms,
I'm protected from my pain,
In your arms,
All my wishes come true,
In your arms,
I try to tell you the truth,
In your arms...
I finished softly. I looked up at Tommy, and saw that he had a strange glint in his eyes. Wait, why was I here? With Tommy? Why had I forgiven him so easily?
After that thought, I walked out of the studio.
"Jude! Wait!" But I didn't look back. I could hear him running after me.And by the time he made it to the parking lot I was gone.
He was standing by the door to G-Major waiting for me to come back. But I had driven away and wasn't planning on looking back.
TJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJ
It took me a long time to gather the courage to go back to the studio the next morning. I knew I had to go there, but I was afraid he would be there.
When I parked in the studio parking lot, I thought I saw his "special" car. But I think I just imagined it. At least, I hoped I did.
I walked in through the main doors, to see the door to Recording Studio A open. I could hear someone plucking guitar strings. I went to the door to see someone with their back facing me. I walked up to the booth, and I hot the record button. The guitar chords slowly became a tune, and slowly after that lyrics came too.
I'm dying on the inside,
Every time you run and hide,
Every time you look away,
When you see my gaze,
I'm sorry I want to talk to you,
Really wanting to tell you the truth,
But you just pass me by,
Thinking all that I tell are lies,
I see the tears in your eyes,
Can you see that my emotions reflect yours,
Can you see that I'm trying to open our closed door,
And I can see the pain there,
It takes all I have not to stare,
Wishing I could take all your pain away,
And if you want me to I just might,
Wishing that we had the power,
To take flight...
Waiting for you to see past the lies,
Waiting for the truth to sink in,
Wishing that you would say already,
That you're gonna win...
I need the comfort of knowing that you are you,
Cuz I can't make it thought...
Without you...
It was Tommy. He was singing a song about the night before. How the…
Then he turned around and saw me standing there.
"Jude… Please don't run away this time." He said softly. I couldn't believe what he had just said.
"I wouldn't of ran away, if you hadn't of ran away first." I replied equally quiet as he had said his words.
"I already explained that to you-"
I cut him off. "But I can't forgive you for walking out of my life when I needed you the most. And you didn't even say good-bye, didn't even explain why. You just left me…"
And then I ran again. I grabbed my guitar, and ran out to the "Alley". I hid behind a garbage can. I didn't move until I heard the door open, footsteps, frantic breathing, more footsteps, and then hearing the door close again. Then I opened my guitar case, and strum some chords.
I sang along softly to the tune.
I can't forgive you for walking out of my life,
When I needed you the most,
You didn't even say good-bye,
You never even told me why…
When you can't believe,
In that person that you love,
When you can't believe,
In that person that you trust,
Feeling broken,
Eyes wide-open,
When you can't believe…
Why can't I let you back in,
Why can't I just give in,
Trying to forget your memory,
But failing miserably…
Forgiving and forgetting,
Are two different things…
When you can't believe…
When you can't believe,
In that person that you love,
When you can't believe,
In that person that you trust,
Feeling broken,
Eyes wide-open,
When you can't believe…
Little did I know, that he was still standing right there, hiding behind the bushes.
End Chapter Nine