Kei-chan: Thanks for all the reviews. Don't worry, we haven't forgotten about 'Role Reversal', we'll have the next chapter up soon.
Rin-chan: Hope you all like our latest chapter.
Chapter Seven - Drunken Escapades, and Dude, Where's My Car?
Two Days Later
Yuki was curled up on the couch, cuddling his Shu-bear, and looking like shit. He had huge bags under his eyes, and tear tracks on his cheeks. He sniffled. He hadn't seen Shuichi for two days, and it was beginning to damage his health. He hadn't slept, he'd hardly eaten, and his mood swings had gotten a hundred times worse. There was a hole in the wall that was the evidence of one such mood swing. It was there because he had tried, and succeeded, in ramming Tohma's head through the wall.
Just then, Tohma walked in. He cast a wary glance at Yuki, before sitting next to him. The shorter blonde was starting to look a little haggard. He had lines around his eyes, and he was looking paler than usual. He had been subjected to Yuki's mood swings, and after just two days he was ready to kill someone.
Finally, he'd had enough of the moping. He stood, putting his shoes on. "Come on, Eiri. We're going out."
Yuki sniffed. "No. I want my Shu-chan."
Tohma scowled. "Well he's not coming back! Just get up off your ass and do it!"
Yuki stared up (for once) at the other blonde, wide eyed. "There's no need to shout." he said, pouting. He tried hauling himself up, but couldn't do it. He pouted again, and Tohma helped him up. It was a slow process, but eventually he was up. He waddled over to get his coat.
----
A short while later, Tohma helped Yuki plonk himself down onto a bench in Shinjuku park. The author shifted, wincing as his unborn child decided to give a particularly violent kick.
Tohma was absently looking around the empty park, when he saw a pink ball of fluff over by the fountain. He pointed this out to his brother-in-law, and, once Yuki had been hauled to his feet again, they went to investigate.
When they arrived at the fountain, they saw Shuichi sprawled on the edge of the fountain, in nothing but his pink boxers. He had a traffic cone prominently displayed, because it was on his head, and he had a pair of fluffy handcuffs dangling from his left wrist. They also noticed that he only had on one sock.
Yuki reached out, shaking Shuichi. After a few shakes, his eyes opened slowly, before he closed them with a hiss. He reached up to rub his eyes, and slowly levered himself up into a sitting position. He frowned. "Why the hell is my head heavy?"
Tohma blinked. "Maybe because there's a traffic cone there?"
Shuichi blinked back at him, and looked up. "Where? I see no cone."
Yuki, as relieved as he was, rolled his eyes. He reached up, plucking the traffic cone from his lover's head, before hitting him over the head with it. "It's too bad you're sitting down, or I would've shoved this up your ass!"
Shuichi stared at him. "Wha-"
"Where the hell have you been these past two days? I've been going out of my mind, and now I find you almost naked in the park! With handcuffs! You cheated on me didn't you!"
Shuichi scowled. "Will you stop thinking I'm cheating on you every five seconds? Next you'll say I'm cheating on you with Tohma."
Yuki's eyes widened. "Oh my god… you are aren't you? That's why he agreed to teach you how to cook… YOU PRICK!" he yelled, turning and whacking Tohma with the traffic cone. The other blonde held his arms up, trying to stop the irate author from smacking him with a traffic cone of all things.
Shuichi huffed. "I wouldn't cheat on you with anyone. Not even Ryuichi, if he asked. Stop beating up Tohma!"
Surprisingly, Yuki did stop beating up Tohma. Instead, he began wailing loudly. "SHU-CHAAAAAAAN!" Shuichi sweatdropped, before sighing. Suddenly, he turned to Tohma. "By the way…" he bent, sliding his hand into his sock. He fished out Tohma's car keys. "Here's your keys."
Tohma took them, and stared. His eyes narrowed suddenly. He pinned Shuichi with a look. "Where is my car?"
Shuichi looked up at them. "How the hell should I know?" He suddenly looked down at his handcuffed wrist. "Where the fuck is Tatsuha?" he yelled, obviously still drunk.
Yuki blinked. "Tatsuha? What does he have to do with any of this?"
Shuichi was still staring at the handcuffs. "Well, when I drove away from your apartment-"
/ Flashback /
As Shuichi was driving, he was muttering to himself. He began a lengthy tirade about girly blonde evil overlords, and moody boyfriends. As he was in the middle of insulting the most feared man in Tokyo, he suddenly looked up… and slammed on the brakes.
He stared at the figure he'd only just missed, and scowled. He got out of the car, slamming the door as he went. "TATSUHA! You idiot! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Yuki's brother scowled right back at him. "I don't know, maybe I'm crossing the road?"
Shuichi rolled his eyes. "Sarcastic bastard. You're just like him…" he turned back to the car, opening the door. "Next time, I'll run you over." he slid in the driver's seat, and closed the door. He looked over, noticing that Tatsuha had slid into the passenger seat without even asking.
"What are you doing?"
The pervert looked over, grinning. "Well, you look… upset, and the best way to cure that is to get completely smashed. Trust me, I know. So, I'm going to tell you the best spots, and in return you're going to buy my drinks."
Shuichi stared. "Not a good idea. Besides, I can't drink if I'm driving."
--
A while later, Shuichi and Tatsuha stumbled out of the fifth bar of the night, shirtless. Shuichi was trying to keep the both of them upright, and so far succeeding.
They looked around.
Shuichi blinked. "Dude, where's the car?"
Tatsuha scratched his head. "Where's the car, dude?
Twenty Minutes Later
"Dude, where's the damn car?" Shuichi said, really pissed off.
Tatsuha looked around slowly. He suddenly pointed, grinning. "There it is!" He said, pointing to where the car was parked, in full view.
--
Stumbling out of the eighth bar, Shuichi and Tatsuha were clad only in their boxer shorts, and were handcuffed together. Shuichi had somehow acquired a traffic cone atop his pink head, and Tatsuha was wearing one of Tohma's pimp hats that had been in his car.
They stumbled over to Tohma's car, and faced a problem. If they were handcuffed, how were they going to get into separate sides of the car?
/ End Flashback /
"And that's all I remember." Shuichi concluded.
Suddenly, they became aware of a noise. A horrific, snuffling, snorting sound. A sound so repulsive, that they would rather cut off their own ears than listen to it. It was coming from one of the bushes. Suddenly, after a particularly loud snort, the noise stopped. They continued to stare at the bush.
"AAAAAAAAGH!" Yelled Tatsuha, jumping out of the very same bush. "HOW DID I GET HERE? WHERE AM I?" He lifted his wrist. "WHERE THE HELL DID I LEAVE SHUICHI!"
Shuichi twitched. "SHUT UP, TATSUHA! God damn you! My head hurts, and you're not exactly making me feel better!"
Tatsuha looked at him for a second, a blank expression on his face. Suddenly, both drunkards began to laugh loudly. Tatsuha stumbled out of the bush, just noticing that he still wore Tohma's spare pimp hat. That made him laugh even louder.
He then noticed Tohma and Yuki. And laughed even harder. In the end, he was sprawled on his stomach on the ground, laughing, and showing no signs of stopping any time soon.
In the end, Yuki scowled, walking over to his brother. He ungraciously sat on his brother's spine, his brother let out a loud yell.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET OFF ME, YOU FAT BASTARD!"
Yuki sniffled, and then wailed loudly. "SHU-CHAAAAAAAAAAN!"
Shuichi twitched, turned, and ran the fuck away. The three watched as a blur of pink hair, and pink boxers, disappeared down the street.
Tohma's eyes narrowed, and he - quite suddenly - took off like a speeding bullet. He sprinted after Shuichi as fast as he little legs could go, his pimp hat flying off of his head as he tackled the ball of fluff to the ground.
"You are not going anywhere! There's no way I'm looking after that bundle of mood swings on my own!"
THWACK
Also quite suddenly, Tohma was walking back towards them, pimp hat once again on his head. Slung inelegantly over his shoulder, was Shuichi. As the brothers stared, he smiled innocently.
"What? I didn't do anything…"
Kei-chan: Thanks for reading, hope you liked.
Rin-chan: Please review to let us know what you think. See you all soon.