Chapter 1 - The Lingering Sadness

Harry sat reliving Sirius falling through the veil at the end of last term in the Department of Mysteries.

It was a vision that plagued his every waking moment, and every night in his dreams.

The first time this had happened, Uncle Vernon barged into Harry's bedroom, and yelled soundly at him for about ten minutes, for not only ruining their lives, but also their sleep.

Also, Dudley thought he would use that excuse to make Harry's life truly miserable. Dudley had started recounting Harry's sleepless nights, and his screaming to his cronies.

Harry was used to the abuse, because he had suffered through fifteen long years of it. Dudley and Piers thought that by muttering Sirius' name around Harry, it would anger him enough to want to fight them.

It did anger Harry a lot, but he felt as he had lost the will to live. Without Sirius, he truly now had nobody.

Once, or twice, over the first two days of summer, Harry had tried to commit suicide, which he had hoped would bring him closer to both Sirius, and his parents, but always he remembered the good times he and Sirius had had together.

Harry remembered the first time he had met Sirius in the shrieking shack in Hogsmeade, and the flight from the Dementors of Azkaban.

FLASHBACK

"It was good of you to have saved Peter like that," Sirius said to Harry so quietly, so that he could only be heard by Harry.

"It's like I said, Sirius. Even if he did betray my parents, my dad wouldn't want his best friends to murder him."

"I believe you are right. Since Peter, or as we call him Wormtail is going to be put in front of the Ministry, it looks like my time in Azkaban will be all for naught."

"It certainly seems so," Harry agreed.

"Horrible place," Sirius said, his voice trembling with rage. "You would never want to go inside there if you can help it," sirius started, and Harry was surprised to see a tear streaming down his face. "You go mad if you are in there long enough. I think my twelve years in that horrible monstrosity was truly enough."

"At least you were innocent," Hermione said.

"Do you really think that the Dementors care about guilt or innocence?
As long as they have a couple of hundred people to feed off of, and they are happy. Besides, it was idiots at the Ministy who sent me off to Azkaban without a trial," Sirius said bitterly.

"But you will be cleared now, right," Harry said hopefully.

"And if I am, you are more than welcome to come live with me once I get settled in. I am so happy you know what you meant to your parents. You were their pride and joy. You have your fathers messy hair, and your mothers beautiful eyes. I am so happy I am your god-father," Sirius stated.

FLASHBACK

Harry remember his first meeting with Snuffles very well indeed.

It was just too bad that Peter had changed into his animagus form, a rat (who was known to the Weasley family as Scabbers), and Sirius had been forced to flee yet again.

But, that meeting, with the man who was his god-father had done something to Harry that he had never told anyone.

Meeting Sirius had given Harry a dim sense of hope, like a little ray of sunshine into his life. The possibilty of leaving the Dursleys was a shining beacon for Harry, and it was the worst feeling having it stolen away. Watching his possibilty of freedom fly away on an escaped hippogiff named Buckbeak, had given Harrry the feeling that people actually cared about him.

It felt good knowing people cared about him, even if it was someone who had escaped from the evilest place known to wizardkind, to come to kill Scabbers.

Harry remembered the look in Sirius' eyes when they had first met.
Sirius' eyes had a faint dusty like look, and almost looked like they had a death-like quality in them.

So, this is what Azkaban can do to someone, Harry thought sourly.
Azkaban, and the Dementors, what a perfect combination, he thought grimly.

If Azkaban is that bad, Harry thought, than that place in the United States, the place they call Alcatraz must be a cake-walk in comparison. "No soul sucking fiends at that one," Harry muttered to himself.

Harry knew his friends thought he felt he had killed Sirius, and that was very true. Harry had been pulled out of school, due to a vision planted in hs head, by none other than Lord Voldemort himself. Voldemort knew he was playing with Harry's emotions when he inserted Sirius into the vision, and Lord Voldemort knew that Harry would do anything to save his family, or even his friends. The vision still seemed permanately etched into his brain.

Flashback

"Take it for me Black," came the high-pitched, cold voice of Voldemort.

"Haven't you figured it out by now Voldemort," screamed Sirius, "You and Hary are the only two who can pick it up. Show yourself, and take the prophecy yourself, you coward."

"Me, enter the Ministry when everyone there believes me dead, and that Dumbledore and Harry are lying about my rebirth? Not likely. Now, take the prophecy for me, Black, or you will be taking your last breaths" Voldemort said, laughing.

"You will have to kill me then, Voldemort," Sirius said though gritted teeth.

"Before I do, I believe a little fun is in order. Crucio!"

Flashback

That was when Harry became wreckless, and decided to take matter into his own hands. Harry, and five other members of the D.A. all journeyed to London, and had stepped into the trap that had been set by Voldemort.

Flashback

"He's here," Harry said. "This was the aisle that was in my vision."

The six brave adventurers all journeyed farther down the aisle in the Depatment of Mysteries.

"He's not---"

"He should be right down at the end," Harry said, not wanting to heed what the others thought.

As they reached the end of the aisle, they looked towards the next two in line, and Sirius was nowhere to be seen.

"He's not there," Neville stammered. "But, take a look at this. It has your name on it Harry," Neville whispered, as Hary shot to where Neville was.

"Don't touch it," Hermione said. "It could be dangerous."

"It has my name. Are any of you in here?" Harry grabbed hold of the container that held the prophecy.

"Give it to me, Potter," came a drawling voice, which Harry recognized at once, Lucius Malfoy.

FLASHBACK

"If I hadn't gone, Sirius wouldn't be dead, and none of my friends wouldn't have been hurt either," Harry said to himself. Harry knew the weight of the wizarding world rested on his shoulders, now that he knew he would be the one to face Voldemort in the final battle.
He just didn't think he could live up to everyone's opinions of him.

"He led Sirius to his death," Harry said this to himself, willing himself to believe it as the truth.

"Ah, but it isn't," the voice of Voldemort said inside his head. "If you hadn't have tried to reach him, he wouldn't have needed to save you" Voldemort taunted.

As Harry tried to block out the voice of Voldemort, he realized it wasn't Voldemort's voice at all, but his own. Even I believe I killed him, Harry thought bitterly.