Strange new weirds

She was dreaming. On one level, Mary knew she was dreaming. On another, she didn't want it to end!

Again, she lay on her comfortable bed in the building she called 'home'. The colors and textures had taken quite a bit of getting used to, but she was adaptable, Mary was and she had come to love the place despite all of the problems she had encountered. Part of it had been to spite all of her problems that she had come to love so much of this place. But not all of it.

And not all of the people.

"Try again." Her therapist said calmly and Mary fought not to grimace as she focused her mind as she had been taught.

"Yes, Healer V'Larr." Mary said with a frown as she concentrated, forcing the energy that made up her left leg to solidly into a physical form. It felt wrong, but she ignored that, just as she ignored the sensations that would have been called 'pain' in any corporeal being. They wanted her to assume her 'true form' as they called it but it hurt her to try. She did it anyway because she wanted to please them.

"Stop." The green skinned being said, her four eyes lidded in frustration. "Mary… Stop!" She commanded when Mary continued to struggle.

"Mary." The other being in the room said quietly and Mary stilled her suddenly frantic efforts to control herself.

"I…" Mary did not actually have to gulp, but she did so anyway, because she felt as if she had to. Strange as that was, it was one of the more common odd things here. She wasn't human, but she felt human. She just couldn't physically emulate one for more than a few milliseconds. "Apologies, Healer V'Larr… I heard you and I did not obey." She bowed her head. "I am ready for punishment." A long green finger tapped her noise! She jerked and stared up at the green skinned healer who was smiling at her. Said smile was sad, but proud.

"Mary, do not act like that. You are not my Herald. You will never be my Herald and none of us would punish a Herald for trying to do what we ask if it was incapable. You did very well. You are less than ten of our years old, Mary. Do not try to run before you can walk." The gentle being said. Mary fought not to react, but the other knew her so well and V'Larr's face held sorrow that matched Mary's. "Mary. It is not your fault. None of what happened is your fault. You are not like us. No matter how you try to force yourself to be like us, you cannot. We are not like you. You are not Iconian and never will be."

"I know." Mary said sadly as she sat up on the bed, hugging her legs tight. Odd that it felt physical, even though it was anything but. "The universe does not care what I wish, only what is. I want to belong here and I don't." She took two deep breaths and then held up both hands in front of her reverently. She spoke softly. "The Whole will be as One."

"The Whole will be as One." The other two intoned in response. The healer looked at the other, bowed her head and left the room.

"I just… hoped…" Mary fought hard not to cry. Her tears in energy form could harm her surroundings. Only the love of the being who was now moving to her bedside had saved her from utter madness when she had woken here.

But… Why was L'Miren's face suddenly hard, cold metal that glowed with fell energy? Why were her limbs spiky metal that glowed? Why was she floating a half meter off the floor? Why was Mary suddenly so afraid of her Mother?

"Mother?" Mary begged as horror that mimicked parts of L'Miren moved closer. "What-?"

"Wake up." At least L'Miren's voice was the same! Calm, assured and in command.

"What?" Mary asked, confused. This was a dream. She knew that, but… She screamed as L'Miren's long right arm lashed out and metal claws stabbed her in the chest. It didn't hurt. Indeed. It felt good. She basked in the feelings! It had been so long since she had felt her mother's love firsthand. She sent her own feelings back and felt L'Miren's concern. "Mother? What is going on?"

"Come to me, daughter. I will explain. But you must not trust T'Ket. She is lost to us. She will not know you. She never met you. She had no interest in such. She will kill you without thinking and doom so many more. You must wake, daughter. There are those you can trust. Some you know. Others you must find for yourself. But for now? You must evade T'ket." The Guardian of the Iconians said urgently. "Wake and flee, my beloved daughter."

"I… I obey. Mother." Mary felt herself start to slide, but she reached out and hugged the horrible looking form. She shouldn't have been able to do that while impaled, but this was a dream. It didn't have to make sense! "I love you."

"I love you too, Mary Owlna Pangolin." There was no smile on the robotic looking face, but there was one in the voice. "Even when you do dumb stuff." Her free hand came up to caress Mary's brow. To touch the Meridian that hung over her brow. It felt heavenly! "Wake."

Mary woke up instantly aware that something was very wrong. Jhinis lay beside her but the Aenar did not rest quietly. Indeed, she was moaning in her sleep as Mary's blue, white and purple energy coated her! Mary was hurting her!

"NO!" Mary screamed, flailing away from Jhinis who woke up with a cry of her own as Mary recoiled all the way across the tiny cell.

"Mary? Wha-?" The white skinned alien asked, her tone befuddled with sleep.

"Don't move!" Mary begged the Aenar as she fought to pull her energy back in, but it refused. She couldn't release Jhinis! "Oh, god! My energy surrounded you while I slept and I cannot take it back! What have I done?"

"Mary?" Jhinis stared at her with her blind eyes and then gasped. "I… This isn't sight, but I see you! Somehow. Mary! What did you do?"

"I don't know!" Mary begged as she fought her energy, but it stubbornly refused to leave Jhinis! "I hurt you!"

"It doesn't hurt, Mary." Jhnis was bemused by this, but also worried for Mary. Mary, it doesn't hurt. Her reassurance came to Mary mind's far more easily that it had before. As if they were connected even closer now. She quirked a smile at the distraught human. "You need to wash your hair. It is filthy."

"Jhinis…" Mary choked on a laugh that was half scream and then she slumped to the floor, crying. "What have I done?"

The Aenar took a slow step and then another. Then she was kneeling beside Mary who was all but bawling. When she spoke, it was in her mind and so gentle. It is all right, Mary. It is all right. Whatever happened, we will face together.

"They will hurt you again." Mary wept. "I cannot let them hurt you again." Jhinis stilled as Mary did. When the girl spoke again, it was cold and hard. "I will not let them hurt you again." Jhinis shrank back as the fires of hell seemed to swell in her voice.

"Mary. Be calm. Do not rage here." Jhinis pleaded. "There is no need. I am safe. You are safe." Mary looked at her and Jhinis made a face. "Okay, maybe… Less than perfectly safe."

I will not hurt you, Jhinis and I will rescue your brother. Mary sent to the telepath who stared at her. I swear it. She shook her head and relaxed a bit. "Where is the doc? She has to be watching, but I assumed she would here when I woke, if only to poke and prod me."

"She made a lot of people angry before you, Mary." Jhinis pitched her voice to reassure as she knelt down beside Mary and laid her head against Mary's. It felt right but Mary recoiled. "Mary?"

"That is what Heralds do." Mary said weakly. "When they need reassurance. They bow like that, touch their minds to their mistress and the mistress reassures them. But… You are not my Herald!" Why did that feel wrong? Jhinis looked curious rather than stricken.

"No one could ever figure out the relationship, Mary. All Iconian constructs self destruct on being disabled, sometimes explosively. Taking prisoners simply wasn't feasible." Jhinis said quietly, still trying to reassure the girl. "The few who went to the past and encountered Iconians before their fall refused to talk about it. You never said."

"I don't know about the Others. No one said much about them. Just that they were heroes. For me? It's personal and profound. It is a merging of mind, kind of like what we did, Jhinis but not entirely. Far deeper and more connected." Mary said sadly. "Mother had Heralds and I saw a few of them. They were always kind to me. They were not slaves, not as so many think they were. They were made for a function and they had free will to execute that function. They did not need any more and many did not wish it." She sighed, relaxing. "At the Academy, the only time someone asked me about that, they wanted me to say that the Heralds were all slaves and that was not the truth. They didn't want to hear what I said, so I stopped talking."

"How were they bonded, Mary? Heralds and Iconians?" Jhnis asked as she sat down beside the girl, her arm surrounding Mary who relaxed just a little.

"I can only really speak for the few that I saw." Mary said quietly. "I don't know about the others, but Mother's Heralds loved her. They wanted to please her because they loved her. Not because she threatened to hurt them if they failed, but because she made them. She had to use them, but she cared for them and they cared for her. They had their functions, she had hers. Everything I have read and heard about this time, about the War… It is all wrong, Jhinis. It wasn't supposed to be that way!"

"From what I understand, that was a long time ago, Mary." Jhinis was very quiet, reflective. "Iconia was devastated and few survived. Things got very bad for those survivors and changes were made as a result. Often bad ones." Jhinis gave the girl a hug. "Honestly? There are far worse ways to get obedience." She shook her head. "You know? I don't think I would mind if it was you." Mary stared at her in shock and Jhinis smiled at her. You are a good person, Mary. If I can can help you? Why wouldn't I? You know how I feel about my 'employers'.

After what they did to your brother? Mary sent, shocked to her core. Who could blame you? Jhinis… I… I am not worthy of such devotion. One thing I do know. It was for life. Only death can break that bond. Jhinis! Think! You have a life! A family! I will free your brother. Somehow! You do not owe me anything after how badly I hurt you!

Touch my mind, Mary. The Aenar said quietly in her mind. See what I see. Feel what I feel.

Manifestly against her will, Mary lowered her head and Jhinis laid her forehead against Mary's. It was-

[We...]

[Fit…]

Something happened and Mary opened her eyes to see Jhinis smiling at her. The Aenar's pure white eyes changed, to a metallic blue more like Mary's own. They didn't focus, more was the pity. Mary saw an arc of metal appear over the Aenar's head. Her hand shot up instinctively as Jhinis' antenna sought the intrusion, gently brushing them away from the glowing metal. Jhinis relaxed, confused, but trusting.

"Easy." Mary was very careful with the sensitive organs as she smoothed them away from the still forming metal. "The metal is still in flux. Once the Meridian solidifies, you will be able to touch it without harm, use it without fear, but for now, energy discharges can damage flesh."

"Do I want to know how you know that?" Jhnis asked with a knowing smirk,

"Hey, I was nine!" Mary managed just the right hint of 'fake snooty' voice. Then she sighed. "I wanted to belong." Jhinis face fell and Mary nodded. "I wanted to be like them. I wanted to look like them. I made myself one and picked it up to put it on the flesh form they had made for me. I had no idea what I was doing. The healers were not amused at the damage I did to that flesh form."

"How badly were you hurt?" Jhinis asked as she laid her arms around Mary again. It is all right. I am yours and you are mine. Section 31 can kiss my butt. This time, the mental communication felt utterly right. So familiar that it hurt until Jhinis' kindness pushed the hurt of loss away.

"Second and third degree burns on my hands." Mary said softly. "Kind of like what happened when an idiot tried to roofie me in an Orion mining station when I was on my way to Earth." Jhinis stared at her, outrage for Mary rising but Mary shook her head. "I had to work my way to Earth. I worked several jobs. Some were good. Some were bad. The mining gig was actually not that bad until then. Physical work, but not mentally demanding. He got a lot more than his rocks off when he followed me into the restroom. His drug didn't work so he tried to grab me and I reacted badly. When the other women found us, drawn by his screams, well… They were all Orions like he was." Mary shuddered. "I didn't know that women ruled the Orions. Not until then. I didn't know the punishment for attempting such among them. I do now." She made a face.

"I don't want to know, do I?" Jhinis said very quietly.

"No, you don't. It was memorable." Mary swallowed hard, focusing on acting human. Jhinis blind eyes turned up to Mary's forehead and Mary nodded. "Mine is visible to you now, isn't it?"

She had hidden her own Meridian ever since her first encounter with sentient beings on her way to Earth. They had not reacted well to seeing the Iconian symbol. She had run when the weapons had come out and not looked back. It had been hard to hide that, but she had managed and now? She wasn't sure if she could again. What was more? She wasn't sure she wanted to.

"Yes. To my senses, it is beautiful." Jhinis hugged her. Feel my mind, Mary. Do I object in any way? Mary had to smile at the Aenar's fervor. I am yours and you are mine.

The Iconians may not accept me any more than Starfleet did, Jhinis. Mary warned. For all I know, I may not be from this timeline. Jhinis stilled and Mary scoffed. You think I didn't study temporal theory?

You did and you got good grades in that class. Jhinis smiled at her. I did my own homework after I hurt you.

After we hurt each other.Mary corrected the Aenar grimly. But for now? We go on. Where is the doc? I highly doubt she will accept this any more than others will.

She can kiss my butt too! Jhinis rose to her feet, pulling Mary up carefully and waiting until Mary had her balance. Many probably will not accept you for who and what you are, Mary. But I do. Even if the Iconians cannot accept you, even then you are not alone. Whatever you face, whatever fate awaits you, you will not face it alone. "Do you trust me, Mary?" She asked aloud.

"I do." Mary said and then paused. Why was that resonating in her mind? Why did that feel right? "Crazy Aenar. But then again, I am just as crazy, aren't I?"

"Crazy is as crazy does." Jhinis smirked as Mary made yet another face. Then she called out. "Security? Something happened and there are complications. We need to talk to someone in charge."

There was no response.

"Uh… That is not right." Mary said very slowly as Jhinis moved to stand right by the glowing force field that barred the way out. "There is always someone on duty in Security. Always. That is Starfleet regulations and smart."

"I know." Jhinis said softly, worry rising as she hit her com badge and hiss of static came from it. "Oh, not again!"

"Jammed. That is what happened right before I got hurt, Jhinis! Get back!" Mary warned as she moved to stand in the center of the cell, Jhinis moved to flank her. "Whoever or whatever you are, you will leave us alone!"

A horror stepped into view. It had been a Starfleet security officer. A young and fairly pretty dark skinned human girl. But now? Her face was frozen in a rictus of pain and terror. The dark metallic things that writhed on the skin of her face showed the cause. Nanite swarms guided by a malevolent mind that was in no way organic.

-You will be deleted-

It was the same voice as Mary had heard before and it wasn't coming from the woman's lips!

"As I said before, I am sure I will be some day." Mary replied as Jhinis tensed to fight. "Unlike my mother, I am mortal. My energy will degrade in time and when that happens, I will cease to be. Until then?" She shook her head. "You are welcome to try again, monster. This time, I am ready for you." Jhinis stared as Mary held up an empty hand and a glowing ball of white energy flashed into being just over it. Was that computer code that soared around it? Blue, white and purple computer code? If so, it was glowing brighter and brighter. "Jhinis? Shield yourself."

"Mary…" Jhinis shrank back from whatever power that Mary was preparing to throw. "What is that?"

"This is an Iconian toy." Mary smiled, but there was little mirth in it. More rage. "A thought formed into energy. Something that was easy for them to make and control. A way to teach me control. They needed something to keep me occupied while I grew. While my mind matured in their care. I learned. It had been millennia since they had dealt with children of their own race, but they remembered." Her smile held old fondness now. Then it hardened as she glared at the apparition on the other side fo the force field.. "I could destroy you right here and right now, monster. But then that woman would die. She is likely begging for it, but I will not be you."

The other recoiled, just a hair too late as Mary threw the ball of energy. It soared right through the force field, which cut off as the glowing thing passed. Then it hit the woman who collapsed like a puppet whose strings were cut. They had been. Its job done, the orb vanished. A scream came from an inhuman throat as Mary staggered. Jhinis was right there, her own strength supporting the faltering girl.

"I think I felt her mind. It was still there, if damaged. Maybe I was in time." Mary gasped. "Check… Check her?"

"Sit and I will." Jhinis guided Mary to the bunk and Mary sat. The Aenar nodded to her and strode to the fallen Starfleet officer who moaned as Jhinis checked her vitals. "She is alive. We need to go."

"If that thing is here, the crew need help." Mary retorted, but it was clear she was weakened by whatever she had done.

"And if they see you do that, they will freak. The only reason I am not is that I know you far better than anyone else ever could." Jhinis retorted. "Come on, Mary. Let's go. We can work on a plan as we try to put some distance between us and her before she wakes. I am betting she won't be happy."

"Would you be?" Mary asked as she rose shakily to her feet, but followed her Aenar friend towards the exit.

No. She had to admit the truth.

Her Aenar Herald.