Chapter Two: Can't Deny It, Can't Pretend

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or CSI:NY. I do however own my imagination, my Muse, my insanity, my fangirliness and my dreams.

A/N:- Thank you all for your response so far. Here's the next chapter for you.

Stella walked along the corridor, looking from the door numbers nailed to the doors back down to the piece of paper in her hand. When she had put on this dress and high heels, she certainly hadn't expected to be doing much walking and especially not down endless corridors of a colleague's home. When she and Mac had met Danny outside Lindsay's apartment block, she had visibly seen Danny's eyes widen when he saw what she was wearing but he had resisted saying anything, instead concentrating on explaining again what had passed between him and Lindsay.

"Okay, here we are, Flat 314." Stella said standing outside the door. She reached for the bell when she realised Danny and Mac were still standing behind her. She faced them, arms crossed. "You guys can't be here."

"Why not?" Danny said defensively. "I'm the one who started this whole … investigation."

"And I'm her supervisor. If there's something wrong, she should have been able to come to me in the first place." Mac added.

Stella looked at them as if she was dealing with a couple of petulant children. Mac might be her boss but she was the one heading this case. She was the kind of person to take any rookie under her wing but when Lindsay Munroe had arrived, she had seemed so self-assured and confident that Stella had been reluctant to interfere. Now she needed help, Stella was going to make sure that she was there for her. "Honestly, if there's something wrong, she's never going to tell me what it is when you two are there. Besides us girls have to stick together." She told them.

Danny looked hurt. "I know that you're always going to be worried if there's something up with one of our own, but trust me, it's best if I handle this." Stella explained. "Go wait in the lobby and I'll keep you informed."

After making sure that Danny and Mac were out of sight, she straightened her dress a bit and rang the bell. It opened slowly and Stella didn't fail to notice that the chain was securely fastened.

"Hey Stella, what's the matter? Do you need me to cover a shift?" Lindsay asked curiously, undoing the chain and opening the door wide.

"No, no, it's not that." Stella said, quickly. She looked at Lindsay, she had dark shadows under her eyes and she was wrapped tightly in a bathrobe which was odd considering it was only half past eight. "Erm, can I come in?" she asked.

Lindsay nodded and stood aside letting her in. She looked at her colleague, dressed to the nines and couldn't help wondering what the hell she was doing here. Unless they did things differently in New York than in Montana, then it wasn't customary for colleagues to make drop calls and certainly not dressed up as if they were going on a date.

Stella went into CSI mode as her eyes scanned Lindsay's apartment. It had the look of being meticulously kept up until a few days ago when unopened post was allowed to gather dust on the coffee table and week-old newspapers lay on the arm of the settee.

"Do you want a drink?" Lindsay asked unsurely, wondering what Stella wanted.

"No thanks." Stella answered, turning back round to face her. She suddenly realised how awkward this was. "You okay? You've seemed a little distracted these last few days."

Lindsay frowned. "I'm fine."

Stella held her gaze. "Right."

Lindsay sighed and turned away. "Has Danny spoken to you?" she asked with realisation what this was all about.

"He may have said some things." Stella answered. "We're a close knit team here in New York, and we notice when something's not quite right."

"Well, tell him I'm sorry for lashing out at him but honestly, there's nothing for you guys to worry about." Lindsay said but she couldn't quite look Stella in the eye as she said it. What had happened a few days ago was slowly eating her up and the pressure of having to present a brave face to everyone was getting too much.

"Lindsay, I'm a CSI and a Detective. I'm not stupid. You might not know me that well but I'm really nice and I can help."

"It's, erm, it's nothing really." Lindsay said but even as the words left her lips, she knew that just pretending it all never happened was no longer working for her. Her uncontrollable reaction to Danny earlier today had proved to her that she needed to deal with it and by the looks of it Stella wasn't going to go anywhere until she had found out what was up anyway.

Stella sat down on the sofa and watched as Lindsay hesitantly followed suit. She looked absolutely drained and edgy and as she lifted up her arm to run her hand through her damp hair, the sleeve of her robe rolled up and Stella caught sight of some dark blue markings on her arms. Suddenly it all clicked into place.

As Lindsay forced herself to steadily meet Stella's gaze, she saw that she had put two and two together herself and she felt like the great rock had been removed and the dam broken. Before she even realised it, tears were starting to run down her face and she found herself buried in Stella's tight embrace.

"Hey, it's going to be alright hun." Stella said, rubbing her back. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I knew I should. I mean as a CSI I have to deal with these things every day but when it came to dealing with my own trauma I just ….." She lost it. She had spent so many nights fighting it but when the opportunity presented itself to just let it all go, she couldn't stop herself. "I know that by not going to the hospital or calling to the police I've destroyed vital evidence but I just couldn't face it. It was like this surreal nightmare that if I ignored it wouldn't seem real." Lindsay explained through her tears.

"Oh God Lindsay, you shouldn't have to go through this alone. Wasn't there anyone else you could talk to?"

"I don't know anyone in New York and my Mom back home didn't want me to come here in the first place. If I told her about …. this then she wouldn't let me stay here a day longer and I don't want this … this .. this bastard to scare me into going back home. That would be like letting him win."

"You didn't have to deal with this by yourself though." Stella said pulling away a bit so she could look Lindsay in the eye. "You want to tell me what happened?"

Lindsay hesitated. Now she had started, she half wanted to get it all out but the other part of her didn't want to relive again what she had been reliving every night in her nightmares.

"You tell me, the sooner we can catch the guy who did this to you and the sooner you can start to put it in the past. Trust me, it's the best thing to do." Stella said, rubbing her arm and looking at her kindly. She had seen so many bad things, so much hurt in her life but she had never seen someone she knew look so broken from something some sick bastard had done to her. Lindsay Monroe didn't need this, she didn't deserve this. She had put so many hours into solving crimes, helping the community but at the end of the day there was no way she could stop this happening to herself.

"It was last Tuesday," Lindsay started, her voice shaking from the tears. "I'd stayed behind to finish up a report so it was late by the time I'd left. I was walking past Morrisons on 42nd Street and I was so tired I mustn't have been as awake as I ought to have been. Suddenly out of nowhere this guy grabbed my arms and stuffed this rag in my mouth to stop me screaming and dragged me into this dark alley where he – he –he ….. attacked me." She trailed off. She could seem images flash across her mind that also haunted her sleep and she shuddered. "I feel so stupid. I've had the training, the defence classes and at the end of the day all I could do was just lie there counting the seconds until it was over." She mumbled, burying her face in her hands.

Stella felt her eyes stinging and something burning inside her. It was always hard for her to emotionally detach herself from cases but this one was so personal, it was hard for her to remind herself to stay strong for Lindsay. "Lindsay, don't you even dare start apologising. This is not your fault and we're going to catch whoever did this to you okay? Okay?"

Lindsay nodded slightly and Stella pulled the young CSI back into her arms and held her. "You've been so brave this past week. If it was me there would be no way I would be able to hold up as well as you."

They sat there for awhile, Stella just letting Lindsay cry and get it all out of her system. She was glad Danny had thought of calling her otherwise Lindsay's suffering would have gone on much longer.

Now she had told someone, it made the whole thing so much more real to her. She could not longer distance herself from it but at the same time she felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her. She had felt from the first day that Stella was the kind of person who would be willing to help her rather than the territorial bitch of the office you sometimes came across and her characterisation of her colleague had been right. In all honesty Lindsay was glad that Stella had come knocking on her door tonight.

"I know this is going to be hard but I need you to describe your attacker in as much detail as you can remember." Stella said quietly.

Lindsay turned away. "I-I can't remember." She said.

"I need you to close your eyes and focus. Anything you can remember will help. I'm afraid that when we catch the guy you'll have to do a line-up anyway so if you could try and remember now, that'll be a great help." Stella pushed gently.

Lindsay closed her eyes. "He was tall, about six foot, muscly and strongly built. It was dark but I think his hair was a dark sandy colour and he had dark eyes. He may have had a scar down his right cheek but I'm not too sure."

"That's real good Lindsay." Stella said, jotting down the details. "We've got something to start with. Could you try and remember what he was wearing for me?"

"Blue jeans, white wife-beater covered with an over shirt and black shoes." Lindsay said, opening her eyes again.

"You say he stuffed cloth in your mouth, what happened to it?"

"I don't remember. He didn't take it with him so it must have been left in the alley." Lindsay said, frowning with the effort of talking about it.

"And have you washed the clothes you wore that night?" Stella asked delicately.

Lindsay shook her head. "No, everything's in a pile in my bathroom so there should still be some evidence on them."

"That's good." Stella said, closing her notebook. "We'll get Flack on the case tracking down some suspects whilst we process the evidence .." Stella paused. "If you're not comfortable with our guys working this case then …"

"No, no, it's fine." Lindsay sighed. "I just want it all to be over."

"It will be. We're going to get this guy." Stella said confidently. Suddenly her phone beeped.

"What's up?" Lindsay asked, startled by the sudden noise.

"Mac and Danny are waiting downstairs." Stella told her.

"They're here?"

"They were worried about you but I told them that it would be better if I came to see you alone first. Is it okay if I go down and get them and bring them up?" Stella asked.

Lindsay nodded and tightened her bathrobe around her. She felt strangely embarrassed at having to face Danny again and letting her boss and co-workers see her looking so vulnerable and weak.

Stella smiled at her comfortingly. "I'll be two minutes." She said, walking out.

A/N:- After writing this it occurred to be that I'd really like to see some more of Lindsay and Stella working together on the show. I think they'd get on really well together but that could just be my Muse talking ….