Altered States
She was not awake, but she was not asleep either. Mary had been in this odd half state before and it had not been fun when she had woken. This time, however, she was calm. There was a familiar resonance that echoed through her energy, soothing her and lulling her incipient rage back into its own slumber even as she slowly regained consciousness. The resonance faded and a kind voice ushered Mary to full wakefulness.
"Back with us, my dear?" The sibilants were oddly stressed in a familiar way. Mary expanded her senses to find herself lying on a medical bed in an unfamiliar medical ward. But the form that stood nearby was very familiar. She didn't know this Gorn, but she did know Gorn. He wore an Alliance uniform with a blue patch on the shoulder. He also had what were clearly Borg implants on his skull, but the orb that hovered over his left shoulder drew her attention. It was very familiar. He smiled at her. Any being who had not shared a dorm with a Gorn might be frightened to see so many large teeth, but Mary knew it was a gentle expression on the scaly snout. "Yes, it is what it looks like. It was a gift from a fellow healer."
The Iconian orb like healing device that hovered over his shoulder wavered and vanished. Sort of like Mary could make her Meridian disappear at times, come to think of it. Such would likely unnerve many people just as badly as Mary did for the exact same reason. Although what a Gorn was doing with such was perplexing, it was likely none of her business.
Mary opened her mouth, paused, closed her mouth and then hissed at him. Not an insult. Far from it!
[I thank you for your care, honored elder who heals.] The girl said in Gorn and the scaled being stared for a moment before smiling wider.
"You speak Gorn." The large being said with a nod. He used Federation Standard. "That is impressive. Few non-Gorn can manage all of the sibilants. Most just use the translators. I thank you for the thoughtfulness, but feel free to speak Standard if you wish. Who instructed you, if I may ask?"
"I had a Gorn dorm mate among others. We all wanted to learn other languages. She said it was too hard, but I pestered her until she taught me. I am told my accent is bad." Mary said with a frown but the other waved that away.
"So is mine after all of what my throat has gone through." The healer's tone was wicked and Mary felt her heart lift, but only for a moment. She felt a pang of loss and the other nodded at her unspoken question. "Your Herald was taken. For what reason, we do not know. The ship that she was taken to went to warp without a word to us. We placed a subspace tracker on it, but we have you to deliver first. We do worry. The owner of that ship is not a good being."
She should have been angry. She was not. She felt good. It was clearly the healer's work and she appreciated that.
"Probably working with Doctor Nuna." Mary said after a moment and the healer looked at her. "I am not sure why I think that." She admitted. "I have no information one way or another, but I feel that they are working together."
"Such would not surprise me. Neither of them are what anyone with brains would call 'good'." The Gorn said with a glower and then paused. He almost looked sheepish! "My apologies. I forgot to introduce myself. I am S'Saak. Healer and Third Officer of the K'Valk's Honor." Mary stared at him, eyes huge and he paused. "Is there a problem?"
"No. There is no problem." Mary said after a moment of controlling her expression. "That name is known to me." He stilled and she continued in Gorn. [My dorm mate R'Kerti told me stories about her people to help me learn her language. She thought them only stories. Folklore.] The Gorn said nothing and she continued in his language. [Your secrets are yours, Healer. Not mine. I will not speak them.] That was an oath!
"Thank you." The Gorn's reply on Federation Standard was very quiet. "My past will likely come back to haunt me. It has before. But for now? Your focus must be recovering, young one. Second Officer Amet'a told me what you did. What you did was very brave and very foolish." Mary flushed but he wasn't done. "It was probably just as instinctive as what you did at the Academy when attacked there. However, if it had been an EMP grenade, we likely would not be having this discussion, since such would have disrupted your energy past recovery. Your heroics did work and you did survive. That said? There has to be a better way to deal with explosives than throwing yourself on top of them. Maybe learn to extend your shield or use it as a repulsor? Throw the device away instead of getting so badly hurt?"
"I do not feel pain if I do not wish to." Mary was not arguing with his summation. It was true.
"There are benefits to not being purely physical at times. Or so I have heard." The Gorn's tone was dry enough that Mary flushed again. "Mary Owlna Pangolin, you are a good soul. A brave soul, but please temper that bravery with a bit more thought?" He stepped to her bedside and laid a huge, clawed hand on hers. It was gentle, that hand. "You do not stand alone in this trial you face. You have impressed people who it is hard to impress. Even Horil was impressed as hard as that is to believe."
"He is… not a nice being." Mary said after a moment's thought. "But he is brave."
"It is easy to be brave when one believes that one has nothing to lose." The Gorn medic said with a small, sad sigh. He had clearly been around non-Gorn a lot to effect such a sound so easily. It was not a normal Gorn sound. "Many of us aboard are in such dark mental spaces or have been there. Coming back is a long, painful journey and many do not make it all the way to the end. You know about recovery." Mary nodded and he continued. "Do you know how you came to the Iconians who you believe raised you?" He inquired gently.
"I was told I was found on a derelict starship that floated into their territory. They said my energy was badly depleted, that I was barely alive when they took me to their healers." Mary frowned when the Gorn did not react. "That is what I was told and it fits with what I have discovered since then. Many were curious about my past and I was as well."
"As with everything in life, if you pursue such inquiry, be wary. There will likely be truths and fiction mixed." The Gorn slowly wrapped his hand around hers. "You may not like what you find if you pry any deeper." He warned. Mary stared at him and inhaled sharply. "Do not inquire at this time." The Gorn interrupted her. "We have less than an hour at this speed of transwarp to reach Iconia. No one knows what they will do. The ship will remain at the extreme edge of the system, ready to flee as needed. We will drop you and the captain in a shuttle to go the rest of the way."
"I…" Mary frowned but then nodded. [Healer…] She said in Gorn when the medic would have withdrawn. [While I was in the Starfleet cell, I had a dream where L'Miren told me to come to her. Not to trust T'Ket and to come to her. I do not know if what happened to Jhinis was planned or not, but I believe they wish me to come. Anyone else may be in grave danger.]
"I know." The Gorn replied in Standard. "So does the captain and he is waiting to talk to you, if you feel up to it?"
"I feel…" Mary paused and then stared down at her lower body. Down to her hips, everything was as it should be, but her hips were energy! Her legs and feet likewise! She was phasing! If she flared uncontrollably here, she would hurt the healer at the very least! Maybe others! "Oh no!" Mary tried to push the Gorn away, but he held tight to her hand. "I am going to flare! Healer! Let go! I can hurt you! I hurt R'Kerti!"
"Your dorm mate did not know what to do. I do." The Gorn held onto her head despite her struggles. He was far stronger than she was. "Look again. You are not flaring."
"I…" Mary stared at the huge snout and then down at her legs. The energy was flowing, but not outside where it should be. The circuitry shone bright with her blue, white and purple energy, but it stayed contained inside where legs would be on a human. Impressive! "I am not." She smiled a little and relaxed. "You do good work, Healer."
"I try." The Gorn smiled at her again and she felt comforted. "I do not know what the Iconians will do, but you need to take what time you can to rest. You used a lot of energy both to disable the controlled officers and to save others from the grenade. You will recover, but not if you continue to expend your energy. So no running around throwing yourself on bombs. Clear?" Mary stared at him and her face fell.
"You sound so much like another healer I knew." Mary said a bit sadly but paused as the Gorn gave her hand another squeeze. A sharper one. A warning? She looked at him and he shook his head, just a little. "I… What can I say? What can I ask? This is clearly not a Federation ship." She said softly as she looked around. The décor all but screamed 'Klingon'.
"The K'Valk's Honor is an Alliance Fleet Ship." A new voice said as the door opened and a Catian in the same white uniform as the Gorn stepped in. Same black boots and dark pants. The only difference was that his shoulder patch was yellow. "There was a great deal of discussion among Starfleet about it when I took it, but no one has argued too loudly." The Gorn scoffed and the Catian shook his head. "Don't shock our guest too badly, doc."
"Mary Owlna Pangolin." The Gorn released her hand and laid it back on the bed. "Meet Captain R'Rollow. Commander of this floating asylum." The Catain's gaze became a glare, but it bounced right off the Gorn's scaly hide. "Tell me I lie. We are all nuts and you more than most, Captain for putting up with us!"
Mary had to snicker at the look of betrayal that crossed the cat man's golden furred face for a moment before being banished. He shook his head, crossed his arms and glared.
"I thank you for the rescue, Captain R'Rollow." Mary said quietly after the silence grew long enough to be awkward. "I hope not to cause as many problems for your ship as I did the Denali."
"You are very welcome, Mary Owlna Pangolin. From what I understand, none of it was your doing. From what others have said, you will likely be happy to know the remainder of the Denali crew was evacuated. The only casualties that were reported were from the initial attack. Everyone else made it." R'Rollow unbent a bit as Mary smiled, but sadly and the Gorn relaxed just a little. Had Ssaak been standing between the captain and the bed as a protector? If so, for who? "The War hurt many of us. Far more than most who were not involved can imagine. You seem to have taken hurts of the kind that we all can understand." The Catian moved to her bedside and then turned to the Gorn. "I need to talk to her alone, doc."
"And if I say no, you will get stubborn and try to pull rank." Ssaak muttered something under his breath that didn't sound polite. "You get so irritated when you fail to move me with rank in my sickbay." Definitely a story there! R'Rollow didn't move and the Gorn sighed again. "I guess I better get started on Horil. She really did a number on him this time." He waved a claw at the captain. "Don't break anything." Then he was gone!
Mary stared at the door as it hissed shut and then at the captain who moved to stand by one wall. She waved to a chair.
"No need to be formal on my account, Captain R'Rollow." Mary said a bit timidly. "I mean… I don't even know my own status at the moment. Am I a prisoner?"
"No. Amet'a would likely shoot me if I tried to do something that dumb." R'Rollow smiled as he reassured her and sat in a chair near the wall. "She is quick with a disruptor, if you didn't notice." Mary nodded with slightly sick smile and then she sobered.
"They took Jhinis." Mary said softly and the Captain nodded. "Any demands?" He shook his head. "That… I mean, if she wanted to dissect me again…" She broke off as R'Rollow leaned forward, his face suddenly intent.
"What do you mean, 'again'?" The captain was quiet, but he would be answered. He was all business now. Mary could not meet his gaze and he sat back, face still intent. "She was with you on the Denali. She was coming with you." He put each word out slowly, thinking carefully as he did. Mary nodded, not trusting her voice. "Because… She knew you or you knew her. Oh no. Let me guess. She was at the Academy?" Mary nodded again. "Oh dear. What did she do to you?"
"I…" Mary swallowed hard, not wanting to give offense.
"Let me rephrase." R'Rollow said very softly. "What did the evil, sociopathic bitch do to hurt you?" Mary's head shot up and hate was on the Captain's face, but it was not directed at Mary! "It is what she does. Hold on a second. I am going to ask someone else to join us. You will like her." He tapped a wrist mounted com unit. Not a Starfleet issue one. "I hope you like her anyway. She is good soul, if stubborn."
"Telling stories, are we, Captain?" Mary stilled as a blue furred form stepped into the room. Mary had never met a Ferasen, but she had heard about them. Who hadn't? The look the newcomer gave the captain was not what Mary would have expected from a Ferasen talking to a Catian. But here was something about her that called to something deep inside Mary. Something raw and hurting in both females spoke to the other. Not telepathy, not anything Mary could define, but there. The Ferasen stared at Mary, stunned. She felt it too! "Oh my god."
"She hurt you." Mary said very softly as she slid out of the bed, gingerly settling on feet that hummed with energy. She wasn't flaring, thank god. She was just energy from the hips down. Odd, but she could deal with that as long as she didn't hurt anyone. She was physical above the hips.
"She hurt you." The Ferasen took a slow step towards Mary, before pausing and looking at the Captain who bowed his head. "What did she do?"
"I was dead." Mary said weakly as the Ferasen stepped right up to her, sniffing. "I… I know I am dirty, I apologize if I stink-" She broke off as the Ferasen embraced her, pulling her close as Mary started to cry! Energy, not water. Still tears. "I am sorry! I am sorry!"
"What do you possibly have to be sorry for, girl?" The Ferasen growled in her ear. "She hurt me, several years ago. Her reasons…" She blew out a deep breath as Mary sobbed. "She had good reasons for what she did to me and others, but her methods were evil. As evil as anything I have seen from anyone else." She hugged Mary tight. "It is okay. It is okay. I came back after. You can too."
"I don't even know if I am going to be alive tomorrow!" Mary bawled into a leather covered fur shoulder and the Ferasen just held her. "I… I…"
"Not many of us can say that, girl." The Ferasen gave her a shake and not a gentle one. "Stop with the salt water emulation. The energy tickles. You are here. She is not. If either my mate or I see her, she is dead. Most of the crew would shoot her out of hand if they saw her. Some might get vicious, but I just want her dead and gone so she won't get the chance to do it again." She eased Mary back to the bed and sat her down, taking seat beside her. "What did she do?"
"I woke up with her pulling bits of my energy out." Mary said weakly as the Ferasen stroked her arm gently. Soothing. "She had an odd machine that drilled in and pulled part of me out. Whatever it was, it wasn't Federation tech. I tried to talk. She didn't listen. I screamed. She ignored it. I know she heard me, she just ignored it. I tried to fight and I couldn't. She just kept pulling bits of my energy out!"
"And then?" The captain asked. "She didn't take it all."
"I got mad." Mary said weakly. "It… It doesn't end well when I get angry." The Ferasen looked curious and Mary shook her head. "Please just take my word for that? I don't want to demonstrate. I might cripple the ship of my rescuers and then where would we be?" Both feline beings shared a look, but did not comment. "I melted the machine and she spun a story about not knowing I was alive while she put the energy back in. She was lying. I know she was. I think she wanted me mad, but that makes no sense. It didn't hurt, but that was worse in some ways. It was all… clinical. Detached. Sterile. No emotion at all."
"Yeah, that sounds like her." The Ferasen sighed deeply, now stroking Mary's hair. "It is all right, girl. It is all right."
"If… If it is not too forward… What did she do to you?" Mary asked carefully, not wanting to give offense. Far from offended, the Ferasen was just sad.
"She saved the Captain's people."