Chapter 34:

"So Zach, do you mind if I call you Zach? What would you like to talk about today?"

I knew this was going to happen, Zach thought as he sat on a comfortable chair in front of the school psychiatrist, Softy. I pretty much told the teachers to kill me yesterday. That was so dumb. "I don't know," Zach muttered. Whatever. School mandated "sessions," don't sound that bad. I won't tell any of my classmates about them. I can't believe I'm in therapy- actually, I totally should be in therapy. Has anyone ever needed it more?

"Well, why don't we start with what you told your teachers? Why they, made you come here," Softy said. The middle-aged woman was half a foot shorter than Zach, and even though she was in her early forties, she had the face of a caring new mother. Her expression was soft and understanding, her eyes big and blue and seemingly sparkling, and her hair was long and blonde. She was not too beautiful, but had an appearance of someone who, who just looked easy to talk to. Zach looked at her in a hesitant way, and she gave him an apologetic look but continued, "They are just worried about you."

"I don't want to talk about them," Zach started, as he was starting to feel angry thinking about these "worried" teachers.

"Okay then," Softy said, and Zach looked at her in some surprise. "We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. This is a safe place."

I doubt it, Zach thought, and his eyes darted around the room before stopping on the woman who lowered her gaze to a notepad in front of her. His eyes widened as he realized she was writing down what he just did, and he started, "Isn't there, patient-doctor confidentiality-"

"Of course," Softy said, and she put her notes down quickly at the question. She sat on a chair that did not look as comfortable as Zach's recliner, but it had a soft bottom and back, and was on wheels so she could turn it back and forth as she spoke. "The notes are just so I can go over them. Helps me come up with ways to help you."

You can't help me… or, Zach scrunched up his face as he looked at the woman in front of him carefully. Doctor's take this kind of stuff seriously, right? "You really won't, say anything I tell you?"

"No," Softy assured him, and she stopped spinning her chair back and forth which made Zach see she was being serious. She looked into his eyes with her big, soft ones, and she nodded her head at him with a small smile on her face. "The only time I would ever have to talk to someone about these sessions, is if I feel you are a danger to yourself. Or, if you are planning future crimes," Zach's eyes widened huge at the sound of that, which did not make Softy feel very great though she did keep giving him a look to show him she meant every word.

Is she asking if I've committed crimes? Or, is she telling me it's alright to confess? Wait, what if she's tricking- No, this is a doctor! They're not, like villains. This is a hero. She's not, trapping me?

"I want you to trust me, Zach. Anything you tell me, anything you want to talk about, it can be just between us. But it seems to me, like you're holding a lot back," she said, suggesting with her tone that he take some of that load off.

I think, maybe I can… What if she's the spy? Would they really have told the psychiatrist where the secret training camp in the woods was? I doubt it. Even if they trust, there would be no need to involve people in the loop who were not necessary. "Alright," Zach started, his voice pretty quiet. "I, didn't tell the truth." His head snapped up fast and he continued, "I never killed anyone- I mean," he closed his mouth and his flustered look started calming down at the calm one on Softy's face. She just nodded at him once telling him to gather his thoughts together and continue, and Zach took a deep breath as he did just that.

"Since I went on trial for it, I never killed a person," Zach said. Softy nodded her head at him with a small smile, but Zach continued while locking his gaze with her to see what her reaction would be, "But when I had the retrial, I didn't tell the judges the truth, even though I was under oath." Softy stopped for a second, then she nodded at Zach as he paused and she wanted him to keep on going. Zach frowned, looking hesitant again over whether he should continue. She's, not going to betray me? He thought, his heart starting to pound at the reassuring look in Softy's eyes.

Zach continued, leaning back on his chair a bit. He took a deep breath, and he spoke in a soft voice while his eyes gazed over towards the wall on his right. "I think it was back three months ago, October, or maybe late September, or early November…" Zach trailed off as that was not very specific in the least. "One of those months," he mumbled.

"Haha, let's just say, in the fall then?" Softy suggested.

Zach turned back towards her wide-eyed, then he nodded his head in agreement and actually smiled a bit at her interested, judgement-free look. "I, started going to villain fights," Zach continued.

Softy leaned forward in her seat. "Could you tell me what a 'villain fight' is?" She asked. She was not pressing hard for the answer, leaving room in her tone for Zach to deny her, but the fact that she left that room made it seem to him like there was no point in not saying it.

Softy, it's like, the most relaxing name. Probably why she became a psychiatrist- no, I've got that backwards. She picked the name… Zach shook his head, then his small smile from thinking about how nice Softy was started to drop down. "A villain fight," Zach started. He paused, looking down, then back up into Softy's eyes who he decided he could confide in. "Normally, when heroes fight villains, those are the kinds of fights people think of. But there are other battles going on in the shadows. Villains fighting villains," he explained, and Softy nodded her head in understanding at him.

She did not pick up her notes again after Zach's initial unease at them, though she did mark that down in her head for later. Zach continued though while looking into Softy's eyes, and she tried not to let her expression change despite the darkness growing in Zach's eyes. "And those battles," he said, his voice lower. It was not a whisper, just lower in tone and pitch, his eyes narrowing along with it as he thought back. "Are so much more intense, than any fight I've ever seen between heroes and villains before. Every move, that both sides make, is intended to kill. Everyone's aiming for vital areas from the very start. People dropping left and right, and in that madness, one day back 'in the fall,' I had my life saved."

Zach shook his head while refocusing his gaze on the woman in front of him. He leaned back fast as if regretting the small rant, but Softy stayed leaning forwards. "You were saved?" She questioned.

"I-" Zach started. He pursed his lips in frustration, his bottom lip hurting from where he had broken through it the day before. Even as Nightmare… Zach shook his head, his eyes clenching shut.

"You don't need to if-" Softy began.

"It's," Zach started, cutting her off and making Softy close her mouth. She wanted to hear it anyway, and the offer was now up there so Zach could stop whenever he wanted. His eyes opened back up, and he said with the most frustrated look on his face. "It's not, fair. I, I was saved, by the same guy who- who killed Kirishima, who-" Zach could not finish that sentence and had to shake his head, his mind blanking and flipping back to that night 'in the fall.' "And I don't know how to deal with it. He, is a villain. The worst kind of villain. But, he risked his life for me. I saw sides of him I thought were good. I spent so long around those villains, I started to relate to them. But I was wrong," Zach whispered, staring into Softy's eyes and saying it like the realization was fresh. "I thought I saw people, but I must have been wrong for them to still do the things they did. Things they're still doing. I don't know how to deal with my feelings of absolute hatred towards Dabi, while still recalling the months he spent as the only person I could talk to. I don't know how to hate him with my whole being, even though I need to hate him."

"Why is it necessary to hate him?" Softy asked. Zach looked into her eyes in surprise, and Softy continued while offering up a palm, "It is not a hero's job to hate all villains, only to stop them. Hate, is a terrible emotion to try and force on yourself. So if you are lucky enough to have a way to prevent-" Zach's eyes shot open wide, and Softy lowered her hand with a sincerely apologetic look on her face. "I am so sorry, Zach. You are in no way, 'lucky.'" Zach's wide eyes opened even wider, and he wondered if the woman in front of him was a mind reader. He had no idea what her Quirk was so it started making him feel really uncomfortable.

"Do not worry, Zach," Softy said, and her voice got louder while somehow staying calm and relaxing to him. "My Quirk, is called Sooth. It relaxes the body and the mind. You do not have to feel uncomfortable here."

"Sooth?" Zach asked, and he tensed while just relaxing up. "So, I'm not actually relaxed? This is all just your Quirk-"

Before Zach could accuse her of forcing things out of him that he did not want to talk about, Softy said, "I only used my Quirk right there, to show you that I am not in fact reading your mind. It is just my job, to read how you are feeling. So I am sorry, that I implied you were in any way fortunate. I know you have had it rough over these past few… several…" Softy stopped herself, then she just said, "You have had a difficult life."

"Yeah," Zach muttered, but he did slouch back into his seat.

"So would you mind telling me, Zach," Softy began again, trying to get them back on track. "Why it is you feel the need to hate the villain, Dabi? If you saw a good side to him, perhaps there is a chance for rehabilitation."

"Not for him," Zach said.

"Why?" Softy asked.

Zach heard in the question that she wanted a reason, but also that it was up to him whether to give one or not. And this time, he chose not to. "Maybe next time," Zach said though, as the woman really was being nice to him and he did not feel like just shutting her down straight out. "But you know, your Quirk is pretty nice. I can think of a few people who could have used it."

"People, like the ones in the mental institution I also work at?" Softy questioned.

Zach hesitated, then he said, "Yeah. I hate them too," he muttered. "But they need help. The really, insane people," Zach whispered. "Seeing people who are, just out of their mind," he shook his head and looked at Softy in a harder way. "I know it's not their fault, but I can't help but hate them too. The insane, the schizophrenic, the bat-shit crazy," he ground his teeth and shook his head. "And even they, at the villain fights, even they!" He cut himself off and his face returned to its frustrated expression. "They were my, allies. I was always lying to them, always hiding that I was going to come back one day, but even though everything I said was a lie… Even though I only went with them to those places, so they would let me keep saving people… We fought side by side. They, had my back. And then I betrayed them like I always planned on, and when they got me back, some of them actually- they actually looked betrayed," Zach gasped out at Softy, and her eyes widened at the water welling up in Zach's eyes. "I hate them so much, but why would they be so mad at me for getting Shooter and Hydro arrested? Why would they treat it like such a horrible betrayal, unless they really thought I had been on their side? I, I had always just expected that they could see through my ruse, that they knew I was lying all the time, even to myself. But they thought I was their comrade. And maybe even I… thought I was their comrade too."

Zach stopped speaking and looked at Softy to see what she thought about all that. "It wasn't just Stockholm Syndrome," Zach muttered at her, and Softy's eyes widened this time which made Zach lose his dark look. He wondered if he just made her think maybe he could read minds like he thought about her earlier, and then he continued while losing his dark emotions and lifting his mouth into that smug grin. "Because I went with them on my own. I looked for the good in them, to make it easier for me to talk to them and gain their trust. But, even if I thought they were comrades for a few seconds here and there, even if they did sometimes help me out, I hate every last one of them. Even when I think about how I shouldn't, how they aren't all bad, I still hate them. I don't know if I can change that, even though you're right and I know heroes shouldn't hate that much. But I don't think I can do it." Zach lifted his left hand and slowly brushed it over the scar under his right eye. His whole body tensed up as he touched it, and he lowered the hand before staring at it with wide eyes at what he was doing. How did I get- oh oh yeah OH- Zach shook his head fast and he gulped before staring at Softy to see what she was thinking.

She just looked at him sadly though, and then her look turned softer and she said, "Well, maybe together we can change that." Zach's eyes widened, and Softy gave him the smallest of reassuring smiles. "As I said. Our sessions will stay between the two of us. I will only tell the principal when we meet, since this was school-mandated and they will want to hear that you have been coming." Zach nodded at her in agreement as that made some sense. She glanced down at her watch, then up at the boy who she was glad opened up, but she did not want him talking any more for now and just to feel she had forced too much out of him on the first meeting. "Sorry to keep you for so long on your second Saturday back. I'm sure you have things to do," she said.

Zach nodded at her again and got out of his seat. That was, easier than I thought, Zach thought. He gave Softy one more hesitant look, but it lifted into a more thankful one after a few seconds. "Thank you, Softy. I'll," he paused, then he continued, "I'll see you next Saturday then."

"We will be using training Ground Gamma," Aizawa said to the class in front of him. It was Monday and the start to another week of school at U.A., and the class was more somber today than Aizawa could remember in recent memory. Yesterday's villain attack in Nagoya was pretty bad, Aizawa thought as he looked around at the dark or depressed looks on some of the students' faces. What's worse is most of them escaped too. Always worse when there's no bright side.

"All Might and I will explain more when you get out there. But this is a bomb-disposal exercise. Think on what that might mean yourselves as you make your way out there," Aizawa said, and he saw thoughtful looks from a few of his students who rose their heads and got more serious looks on their faces. He saw a lot still had lowered ones though, or the same upset looks they had had all morning. "If you want there to be less incidents like yesterday's," Aizawa said, mentioning it for the first time and making the class in front of him all look up and into his eyes. His expression was serious and he finished, "Then take this exercise seriously. The more prepared you are, the more people you can save from the needless violence of villains."

More of the darker looks on the students' faces turned serious, some of them surprised before they realized what Aizawa was saying and hardened their expressions. Aizawa glanced towards a boy on the right side of the room whose expression did not change through anything he just said. I told them not to do it, but I didn't expect your response. To get even Yamada looking like that, Aizawa thought about Present Mic whose expression was grim when he saw it on Friday afternoon. He had even made a joke, one of his very rare and dry jokes about how Yamada was silent for once. "If I yelled his way, I'd have hurt him more than the Nomu! Right?!"Cementoss took it pretty hard too. "It is my greatest failure as a hero."

Aizawa saw Zach look up and into his eyes while he was frowning at the boy with short and messy black hair. Instead of breaking eye contact though, Aizawa said, "Sazaki. Your new costume came in." Zach's eyebrows lifted as he thought Aizawa was looking at him for a different reason. "Everyone else get out there," Aizawa said, while a panel on the wall with the number '13' started coming out.

Zach turned to that panel while everyone was heading away, including the teacher who just watched him for another second before turning off. Zach saw a couple of people looking towards the box sticking out of the wall, wondering what Zach's new costume was going to look like. The teachers. Most of the others leave me alone now too. They know I don't want to talk to them… Or they think I don't. Zach stared straight at the panel, but he started frowning at some hair he saw in his peripheral vision.

Zach had not grabbed his costume box yet, even though it was sticking out of the wall. He had wanted to wait until everyone was probably out of the locker room, avoid changing with them again and having everyone stare at his scars. He turned to the side in annoyance and frowned at the boy behind him with spiky blond hair and a black lightning bolt shape in the front left downwards spikes. Kaminari was standing behind Zach, and he grinned as Zach turned to him. The grin on Kaminari's face made Zach's scrunch up in annoyance. Everyone else had left the room, and Zach started in an annoyed voice, "What? I told you that-"

"Let me stop you there," Kaminari said, holding up his right palm right in front of Zach's face. Zach stared at the hand in his face, then kept a blank look as Kaminari lowered it and continued to grin at him. "I thought about what you said," Kaminari began. He crossed his arms over his chest and then said in a defiant tone, "But, you can say whatever you want, I'm still gonna hang out with you." Zach's eyes opened wide, and then they narrowed. Kaminari's narrowed right back though, and he said while keeping his arms crossed in a firm way. "You don't get to make decisions for the rest of us."

"I can make mine though, and I decided not to be friends with you, or anyone else-" Zach started.

"Well stop that," Kaminari said, his voice frustrated. Zach lowered his bottom lip at how annoyed Kaminari sounded with him, while he was the one who wanted to snap off at Kaminari right now. "You can try pushing away your friends, but you can't tell us we're not allowed to hang around you. You might think that's being selfless, but it's not. It's the opposite." Zach's eyes widened in confusion, and Kaminari pointed a finger out at his chest. "You don't get to make all the decisions. You can't say you're doing something to 'protect' me and just think I'm going to leave it at that, do you?"

Zach started shaking his head, but he had a hurt look on it at what Kaminari was telling him. "You'll get hurt-"

"And if I get hurt because of it," Kaminari said, speaking over Zach like the other boy wasn't saying anything. Kaminari frowned and continued, "Then that's a result of my decision. Got it? That's me telling you, I'm accepting the 'risks' of being your friend." Kaminari said it jokingly, but then he got a more serious and hurt look of his own on his face, and he pushed the finger he had pointed out right into Zach's chest. "So stop trying to push me off. It stings worse than what the villains can do to me."

Zach shook his head, and he pushed Kaminari's finger off his chest with his left hand. "You're wrong," Zach said while shaking his head. His head stopped and he looked into Kaminari's eyes darkly, "You have no idea the things the villains can do to you."

"That's because you won't tell me," Kaminari said, holding his hands up at his sides with an exasperated shrug, but it was a mock one anyway. "Even if I knew though, the answer would stay the same," Kaminari said it and smirked at the boy in front of him whose eyes opened huge. "Now come on," Kaminari said, turning around towards the door. "We've got to rush out there or Aizawa sensei's gonna give it to us. Besides, I want to see the new upgrades on your costume as much as everyone else does."

Zach grabbed his box slowly and then turned back to the door with it, only to see Kaminari had stopped in the doorway instead of heading all the way out. Kaminari stood there still with a small grin on his face, but it lowered down again into a more serious expression as he said, "And I'm not the only one who feels that way, just to let you know. So instead of pushing everyone away, how about trying letting everyone in?" Kaminari grinned again and turned his head to the side to look back at a shocked Zach, then he laughed at that expression before heading off fast to go get his own costume on.

Zach stayed frozen in place across the classroom for a few seconds after Kaminari was gone. Let everyone in, instead of pushing everyone away? I thought about that Kaminari. Did you think I didn't? If I do that though, and the villains come… I don't want to feel that pain again. Was it ever really about protecting them then? Or was I just trying, to protect myself? In a future I saw where my friends were killed, I couldn't bear to think of them all as my friends. But, what if I don't lose them this time? Can they protect themselves? The future heroes of our world are gathered at this school, in my class. Is it really right for me to just be thinking about protecting them? Maybe, they don't need my protection. Even if they're friends with me, maybe it wouldn't be, such a bad thing. Kaminari even knows the risks, but he's willing to go this far… Zach's lips curled up at the corners even as he tried pushing them down. That just makes me not want to be your friend more, you idiot. Couldn't you have figured that out? Heh, probably not, knowing you.

A/N Thanks for reading. Zach opens up a bit this chapter and we hear some of what he went through with the villains. Figured after the teachers heard something like that they couldn't just ignore it, and it actually gave me a good opportunity to add some stuff in. Haven't ever written a therapist scene before, just like I hadn't written a court case. This story's fun like that with the different environments and things happening I've never written before. If anyone's in therapy and that's totally dif from what it's like, don't rip on me too hard lol. Anyway, Kaminari comes back at the end here and tells Zach he doesn't care about what Zach told him before the weekend, and although it's a short chapter I hope you enjoyed! Leave a review below telling me what you think/ predictions for upcoming chapter: Bomb Defusal!

D-Koy24 chapter 33 . 13h ago

Call me momo
Ok Yaoyorozu
*cringes* hmm they're not on the same page.
Haha yeah that had to sting a bit right there. Thanks for the review!

Kevito100 chapter 33 . 13h ago

Holy shit that got dark at the end... I love it. I really hope that he eventually gets comfortable and I really hope this turns to a MomoxZach

Zach's pretty pissed at his teachers, and he avoids the subject completely at his first "session." We'll see how the shipping goes from here... Thanks for reviewing!

Colinpop5 chapter 33 . 10h ago

Oh shit. Wait if Zach was tortured shouldn't he have trauma from it. Like the flinching paranoid(you got that) and more submissive attitude? Or is he just fucked up?

Oh shit's right. And he's pretty traumatized, he talked to Webb about it though, why he was acting so fucked and crazy. The time between VTS and his escape, he's just repressing it hard, like really, really hard. Few times in here when he started getting to thinking about it and he immediately switches the subject even in his own head. Like when he walked into the bathroom last chapter and tried letting his guard down while looking in the mirror only to almost break down in a second, or how just trying to tell the teachers at the end made him bite down so hard he bit through his bottom lip. If it's that hard to even think about it, it's just easier not to think about it. Anyway, he's still pretty fucked up, and we'll see other sides of Zach's mental state as his life at school continues... Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and thanks for the review!

Celestial stratos chapter 33 . 10h ago

Are you purposely torturing zach?. He accidentally killed his mother, his father committed suicide ( i think?) he blames himself, the heroes and other people names i forgot told him he should quit trying to be a hero thus leading him to join the villains because he thought they were 'good' which he regretted joining after they murdered jenny and her parents. Now hes back at U.A but paranoid thinking his friends are spys which is understandable.
But what im trying to say is that this story has a lot of potential to be great don't ruin it by killing characters left and right to make your oc 'mature' to keep telling him that the world is fucked up and is unfair and that he has to grow up, to endure to keep saving people no matter how life fucks you in the ass.
BUT WHAT IM REALLY REALLY SAYING IS THAT DON'T SINK THE MOMOXZACH SHIP! I NEED IT MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

Zach's had it... pretty rough. Softy admitted it here too when she was going to go "been a rough couple of months," but she stopped herself and tried correcting only to realize his whole life was just kinda boned. Titanium did kill himself, and yeah he blames himself. A lot of bad, whole lot of bad, and paranoia all over the place, even spending a few minutes considering the psych is a spy. Haven't really been killing too many though, the Akers are really it, and I guess Mr. Compress. But I even saved Mt. Lady and Gran Torino who I originally killed off in Camino Ward only to realize Zach'd try saving them and All Might wouldn't have snapped Gran Torino's neck if he pulled back, or at least I reasoned it when I decided he survived. Who else could die though? Momo? That seems to be what you're all telling me. Because I just love sinking ships hahahah... just kidding. Won't say if it's even happening, or if everyone's going to have a happy ending, all I'll say is... Thanks for the review! XD

LordOfTee chapter 33 . 4h ago

Duuuuuuddeeee! Zach is NOT! willing to be taken again I mean he told him to aim for his head.
That is really serious if a situation escalates to the point where you'd rather kys than go with them then you know s*it is gonna go down.

Yeaaahh. Zach's been pretty clear he would rather die than return to that place. His battle on New Year's he was considering it the whole night, and when Hunter finally got him he tried smashing his skull into the floor then convinced Hunter he was the devil just to try and get the guy to kill him instead of handing him over (which actually worked). So yeah, he is realllly against going back there. Thanks for the review. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.