A/N Just want to start the chapter with a shoutout to Celestial Stratos for drawing Zach! Check out the cover image for Death and take a look. Anyway, hope you all enjoy the chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own Boku no Hero Academia
Chapter 45:
"What's going on?" Yaoyorozu asked as she walked up to Jirou in the common room of their dorm. There were a cluster of others gathered around at one of the tables between the kitchen and the couch area, and in the middle of them was Kirishima who had a dark and sad look on his face.
"Some, video came out," Jirou said to the taller girl next to her. "I don't really know what they're talking about-"
"You saw it?" Kirishima asked, looking to his right at the short boy standing next to the table who leaned back at that look. Minoru Mineta nodded after a second though, as he had just mentioned it anyway. He had a nervous look on his face, and he leaned back more as Kirishima asked, "When?"
"Today at lunch," Mineta replied. He glanced around at the others near them, and then he looked down and said, "I didn't want to say anything to him about it. I, just hoped it got taken down for good when the link I saw it on stopped working."
On the other side of the table as Mineta, Ojiro looked next to him and down a bit, and Hagakure turned towards him and nodded. Ojiro could not see her nod, but Hagakure turned back and started in a soft voice, "We actually, Ojiro and I, saw it too." Kirishima spun towards them, and so did everyone else around the table, and Jirou and Yaoyorozu who stood a little farther back from it. Sero, Tokoyami, Ashido, Sato, Uraraka, and Asui were standing around the table too and all looked to Hagakure when she spoke up.
"Last night," Ojiro added on. "I saw something about it so we looked it up…" he trailed off and got such a frustrated look on his face. In his head he saw Zach at the Sports Festival after taking down Shinso, smiling up towards him in the audience. Then he thought of how Zach told him to move aside, before bringing Kirishima back to life right in front of him. He grimaced most though as he thought about VTS and seeing Zach standing there with his hands up, only to see his despairing face as he was tackled through the portal an instant later. Ojiro saw Zach as he came back next to how he looked at VTS, and he clenched his fists at his sides so hard that Hagakure reached over and put an invisible hand in his. Ojiro finished in a lower voice, "If he saw that though, I could see why he'd be, upset."
Sero almost wanted to remark about how he was in the common room for most of last night, so when were Hagakure and Ojiro together that they saw the video, but he held off even though he had sometimes made such remarks before ever since the New Year's party. Instead, Sero began in a soft voice, "What was on the video? Kirishima," he said as he saw the red-head just look down at the table he was sitting at in more frustration. "If already four of you have seen it in the past day, it's going to be spread around fast, you know? Media'll get it soon, and we'll all hear about it from them instead of you."
Kirishima grit his teeth as that sounded a lot worse to him, especially after his and Zach's run-in with a reporter just that day who kept trying to spin things Zach was saying. That guy was holding back too, Kirishima thought. If he saw that video, and I think he did, I'm shocked he didn't call Zach out on all that stuff. Zach probably would have flipped out there. It's only because we're here right now, that we're home, Kirishima lifted his head and looked towards the stairwell across the common room. What kind of bastards, make something like that? "Zach will, come down sometime," Kirishima said, turning to Sero and frowning more as he said it. "He just wanted to be alone for now. As for what was on the video though," Kirishima continued. He opened his mouth, then he froze and shut it fast. What am I thinking? Just because there's a chance it'll come out all distorted on the news, doesn't mean I should just say this stuff right here. Maybe it really will get taken down from the web fully before anyone else sees it. That would be the best option. "Ask Zach, if you really want to know," Kirishima suggested. "Though he said to leave him alone."
Sero sighed and leaned back, as he was actually thinking Kirishima was going to tell them for a moment there. I'll just look it up myself. Shouldn't be too hard. Should I though? Why not? He's my classmate, I should watch a video about him for that alone…
"What do you think, Yao-momo?" Jirou turned next to her, but the tall girl who had walked up to her side was no longer there. Jirou jumped in a bit of surprise at Yaoyorozu's sudden disappearance, but then again she did not have to wonder for long. She plugged an earphone jack into the floor beneath her feet, and she heard Momo's breathing and footsteps in the stairwell heading back to her own floor. Momo, what are you doing? Jirou thought, shaking her head a small amount with a sad look on her face. She yanked the headphone jack out of the floor though, as Kirishima slid his chair out from the table with a loud scraping noise and then shouted, making her ears pop at the ridiculously loud noise as she was trying to focus on something much farther away.
Jirou grumbled in annoyance even though there was no way for Kirishima to know what she was doing. She frowned towards Kirishima who looked so frustrated as he glanced back towards the stairwell, then she turned that way too. I don't really want to know what they're talking about. It doesn't sound good. A video about Zach? Why can't they just, leave him alone?
Yaoyorozu walked down her hallway slower than she rushed up to her floor. She paused when she was halfway down it, and she started shaking her head fast before rushing to her own room. I don't even know what to say to him. I don't even know what happened. I might just make it worse trying to help him without knowing. Yaoyorozu put her back to the inside of her door. Maybe he does just need to be alone. He bounces back every time, and I don't even know what this is so it might not be, so bad… Yaoyorozu saw the looks on the faces of the people who had seen the video downstairs, and she clenched her eyes shut before walking over to her desk and sitting in front of her computer.
This isn't right, she thought, even as she typed into the search bar. I shouldn't pry. But what if Zach- what if this isn't something he can just come back from, on his own? Yaoyorozu's hand that was hesitating over her mouse started scrolling down the page. She scrolled the search results, then she typed in some extra keywords. It did not take her as long as it had taken some of her classmates. She found the video in a couple of minutes only checking links several search pages in and from obscure-sounding websites.
Yaoyorozu watched the video. She pressed play before she could question herself again, and she watched the whole video, and then she watched it again. Momo lifted her right arm and rubbed her eyes a few times after the second watch, then she turned on her chair and looked back at the door to her bedroom. She stood up and walked towards it, but she froze when her hand touched her doorknob. I can't get emotional. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down, then she got a more focused look on her face. Someone needs to talk to him. "That's fine, Yaoyorozu."
Her hand loosened on the knob, Maybe, I should go tell Midoriya. Or Kaminari… Yaoyorozu's hand retightened around the doorknob and she turned it. No, I can- I can help him too. I know why he wanted to keep his distance. Talking about how Hackerman could find him at any time, Kurogiri could take him, he's worried about us. Even though he, Yaoyorozu thought about the video she just saw and she clenched her eyes shut. She lifted both hands and smacked herself on the cheeks a couple of times to make sure she was ready and composed enough for this.
She walked out of her room and started straight out from her door towards Zach's room. The door was closed, but she did not see a note on it which for some reason she was half-expecting. Yaoyorozu shook her head around for expecting such a thing, then she slowed down as she neared the boy's door. She paused outside of his dorm room and then lifted up her right hand as a fist to knock. Yaoyorozu reached forward and knocked twice on the door. "Zach?" She began quietly. There was no response, and Yaoyorozu wondered if she was being too quiet. That was only a brief thought though, as it made more sense to her that he was just ignoring her. Or maybe he's asleep, she thought, lowering her fist. She furled her lip and then lifted that hand again, He wouldn't be, if he just saw that. This isn't fair, she thought about Zach earlier that day, remembered seeing him and Kirishima talking about going shopping after school, saw him smiling.
Yaoyorozu knocked again. "Are you in there?" She asked, keeping her voice soft but a little louder than last time. "Zach," she started, lowering her fist and moving her head closer to the door. "I- I saw the video," she began again. "The things it said at the end, we don't think that way you know? No one does. You're not the 'demon of Japan.' You're not even close to-" she stopped and she put her head closer as she tried to keep herself composed yet wanted him to say something back. "You don't need to be alone right now," she said. "You shouldn't be. I know how you must be feeling- or, I know what you're- I mean I don't know the feeling at all, but I," she closed her mouth and got a frustrated look on her face that she was messing this up so much.
Yaoyorozu lowered her hand from the door a little and leaned back, but then her lowering hand moved over to his doorknob. I can't just leave him like this. It wouldn't be a heroic thing to do. And, friends should look out for one another, she thought, while grabbing Zach's doorknob. "Zach, can I come in?" She asked quietly. "I just want to make sure, you're alright," she added. Right there she knew she was forcing him into speaking if he did not want her to check, but once again he just stayed quiet. For a second she thought it was a good thing because he must have known she was going to enter anyway, but she had a strange feeling in her gut. She thought he would have told her to go away right there, and she did not think he would just let her walk in on him.
She started pushing his door inwards, panting as she did because of the really bad feeling rising from her stomach. Yaoyorozu stepped into his room and the lights were all off. She had a sudden panicked feeling that maybe Zach really had gone to sleep, exhausted from the emotions he must have felt after seeing the video, perhaps. She almost shut the door right away, but she pushed it in a little farther first and looked towards his bed that got illuminated a bit by the hallway light flooding into the room. It's empty, she thought, and she darted her eyes around the rest of the room. I don't, she started thinking, letting go of the doorknob and looking around in confusion. Kirishima thought he was upstairs. He was hoping Zach would come down- Yaoyorozu's eyes shot open wide and her head snapped up. There was only one place she could think of now, and she spun and left Zach's room, shutting the door behind her. Zach, she thought, turning her head and looking at a door all the way down the hallway near the stairs. Her hands balled into fists at her sides and she started jogging towards it, You really shouldn't be going up there.
Zach sat at the edge of the roof in the back left corner from the perspective of someone looking at it from the front. He was only a foot from the actual corner, sitting on his butt with his knees curled up in front of him and his chest pressed into them. His arms were wrapped around his legs pulling them into his chest tighter, and he shivered with chattering teeth as he stared out into the dark sky, tears streaming down his face. His chest was full of pain and he bit down harder while staring with shaking eyes into the distance. "Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it," he whispered, his voice coming out choked-up. He sniffled and tried holding back more tears to no avail, and he brought his left hand up over his face and covered it. "Every time," he said into his hand, closing his eyes and barely making the words out.
I wish, I wish right now, that I took those antidepressants from Recovery Girl. This hurts too much. I can't, I can't take it. His eyes snapped back open and he pushed his left hand farther up his face and into his hair. He gasped out while running his hand through his hair, thinking about the image of himself half-transformed into Lifebringer. He thought about the smile on his face as he did that, surrounded by police officers and wearing his villain mask. Zach bit his teeth together tightly and then cursed, "Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck!" He shouted the last one than shut his mouth fast in case anyone could hear him through their windows or if they just happened to be outside.
It was all true. Everything they said was true, so why wouldn't the demon thing be too? Are they right? No! Please let it be no. What kind of Quirk could affect Ectoplasm sensei through one of his clones though? What kind of Quirk, kills your mom? What kind of human gets everyone who's ever been close to him killed? "I'm not human," he whispered. "I'm not even, a person," he said. Zach brought his left hand to the side of his head and clenched it into a fist in his hair. He moved it from his head then punched in and again and again. I could pretend, because no one else knew. The less I thought about those things, the less I had to remember them… The less real they were to me. I could have left them in the past. Things I've done. The horrible things. The worst things. But now, I'll never get past them. That's on the internet now. It's never coming down. It's never going away. I'll be reminded of it all, every day of my life. My classmates are all going to know. Everyone around me is just going to look at me with pity, or disgust, or hatred, or even fear. Should they be afraid? Am I really, a monster?
Zach lifted his head and looked past his legs again off the corner of the roof. Then he heard a door open on the silent roof and he spun his head, and he scrambled to his feet. Yaoyorozu ran out onto the roof and then came to a stop as Zach shot onto his feet and spun to look her in the eyes. There were stars out, a large moon, and it was bright enough that the two of them could see each other well even in the dark. Zach stared at Yaoyorozu for a few seconds, and his surprised look narrowed down angrily while his hands balled into fists at his sides. "What are you doing here?" He asked, not masking his anger very well in his voice.
"I came, to make sure you were alright," Yaoyorozu replied, keeping her voice strong and stepping closer to Zach who was much too close to the edge for her liking. "I thought you might be up here, and I'm just, I'm worried about you Zach." She wanted to add something on at the end, but she also did not want to tell him to step away from the ledge and imply anything after he called her out on thinking that was his reason for being on the roof last time. This time he was closer to it though, and this time, Yaoyorozu saw a look in Zach's eyes that scared her enough into stopping before she walked any closer. "Let's go inside Zach. We can talk about it if you want, the things in the video-"
"You saw it too," Zach whispered, shaking his head and sucking in a deep breath as he already kind of expected that. "Everyone's going to see it," he added, in such a pained voice while he turned his head to the right and looked off of the roof again.
"Zach, it doesn't change anything," Yaoyorozu started in a soft, reassuring tone. "Those things, they don't define who you-"
"How couldn't they?" Zach snapped, spinning to her and getting an angrier look on his face at how calm and reassuring she was being. He shook his head at her, his lips twisting and his fists clenching even harder. "I've, I've been," his teeth ground against each other, and he bit back the sadness trying to well up and just focused it all in the anger he felt that Yaoyorozu was telling him this was not a big deal. He swung his right arm across the front of his body and yelled, "I've been a plague on this world, my entire life!"
"That's not-"
"Everyone, I have ever cared about," Zach said, biting down harder and interrupting her with tears in his eyes. "My mom, my dad, the Akers, Jenny," Zach gasped the last name out then tilted his head back and breathed so loudly up in the air. He gasped in and he said while staring in the sky, "They killed her. The villains they, killed her, because of me!" He snapped his head back down and looked into Yaoyorozu's confused and scared eyes, scared because Zach was shouting this while still very close to the edge of the building. Zach continued to her in his gasping, pained voice, "Because I had a stupid dream to be a hero. Even though I killed my own mom. Even though I smiled as it happened, because for some reason, my power makes me feel pleasure when I kill things." Zach said it and his lips were trembling while he saw the pained look on Yaoyorozu's face. Seeing it on the video and hearing Zach tell her felt different. Those words 'I killed my own mom,' felt like someone had punched her in the gut, and she did not know what she could say to him after. And what he said following it did not make it any easier.
"Why would I feel pleasure?" Zach whispered. "What kind of fucked up-" he shook his head, then he shouted, "The video was right. I am a demon! I, I must be, to feel like that." He added, his voice getting softer and a hurt look flashing over his face as he turned away. "The scientists and doctors never said that my power released dopamine or chemicals into my brain, so I must really just, just enjoy it." He looked down as he finished with that, then he started laughing. "Ha, haha, ha," he laughed in short breaths, sounding like he had cracked with what he just said.
Oh no. Oh no this is not good, Yaoyorozu thought, as the boy in front of her seemed to be having a mental break. "Z-Zach," Yaoyorozu started. "Why don't we, talk about this inside?"
Zach lifted his head a little, and he looked Yaoyorozu in the eyes, and his twisted smile faltered. It dipped down and his eyes filled with anguish at what he saw her thinking. Then he started thinking about it too, and he squeezed his eyes shut. "What that report said," Zach began. "About what I did after my dad killed himself, it wasn't a lie." He opened his eyes and looked into Yaoyorozu's while in so much pain that it felt physical, like someone was grabbing him around the heart and tightening their grip. "I, I saw it and called the cops, and then I just walked away. When the police arrived, I left without saying a word. I, I didn't even cry. Because I knew, I didn't deserve to. I knew, and I couldn't think too hard about it. I knew that my dad killed himself, because of me."
"Zach, that's not true," Yaoyorozu started, taking another step towards him and begging in her voice for him to understand that.
"He spent almost three years," Zach said, shaking his head back at her as she did not understand. "Living with the demon that killed his wife." Yaoyorozu's eyes shot open wide, her breathing picking up faster that Zach felt this way, and then her eyes started trembling as Zach continued. "During that time he became an alcoholic. He lost all his friends. He lost his job and the trust of the people. He pushed away everyone in his life, pushed away his entire family, but he stayed with me the whole time. And it was because he stayed, he had to keep looking at me that whole time, reminded every day of what I did, yet forced to try and l-love m-me." Zach said, his lips trembling too much at the end of it that he could barely get the last words out. Tears welling up in the corners of his eyes blinked out, and they rolled down his cheeks as he gasped, "I can't take it anymore."
He shook his head and looked down, then he snapped his head back up and stared into Yaoyorozu's eyes. "I can't take all the terrible things that have happened because of me. I thought, I could be a hero, but I was ignoring the signs. I ignored everything that told me I could never do it, and I dragged more and more people into it." The corners of his lips dipped down so far and he whispered, "Why does killing feel good, and saving people hurts so much? Why does saving someone make me so exhausted, hurt me so badly? I learned during my training with the villains, that killing got rid of that exhaustion. Killing doesn't just feel good, it, it rejuvenated me, but I always pretended to still be exhausted to the villains so they'd never catch on. It was one of the few things I was able to hide," he whispered the last part, but then he lifted his left hand and covered the top half of his face with it while continuing, "But that might not have been the reason. I wasn't just hiding that, to keep secrets from the villains. Maybe I was just hiding it, because it scares me." He lowered his hand and looked into Yaoyorozu's, his gaze full of terror.
"You don't- it's your Quirk, isn't it?" Yaoyorozu said, trying to find something to say to him. She held out a hand and forced a small smile though it took a lot to be able to lift her lips at all after hearing all of that. "You don't need to be afraid, because you control it. No one else can-"
"But that's even worse," Zach gasp-whispered at her. "Me? It's not better that I have control over it. I'm not-" his lips started trembling more, and then he steadied them and hardened his expression a bit. He wiped his face with his left hand, and then he whispered towards her, "The day I joined the League of Villains, my darkest moment. I went through that portal, ready to murder all of them," he said, his voice soft and with regret in it, but steady as he confessed it to her. He wanted to see the rejection in her eyes, the turn of her soft look into one realizing the monster he was. He continued after a second of her look not changing the way he wanted it to, "And when they told me that they'd let me save people, using Kurogiri's power, I was ready to do whatever… I would have, killed any villain I came across. Not just League of Villains. I would have killed other villains for them. I thought, if I killed a villain who would have killed innocent people in the future, then I was saving those people. I thought, I could save every life and kill every villain to save even more people who they just might kill in the future."
Zach shook his head, then he tried to smirk in a menacing way only to fail and lower his expression into one of despair. "At that moment," he said, then pursed his lips as he did not want to say it but also did not care enough about the long term to hold it back. "I had truly considered myself the master over life and death. I had even laughed, thinking that 'I could decide who lives and who dies.'" Zach shook his head and his look got darker, his messy black bangs shadowing over his eyes as he bowed his head. "No one deserves that much power. And the stronger I got, the more control over this power I had, the more like Death I actually became. So before I go back to thinking that way. Before I become the real grim reaper, who commands death, a demon…" Zach turned his head to the right while still looking down, staring off the roof's edge that was only a couple feet away from him.
Yaoyorozu's eyes shot open huge. They were shaking at what he was just saying, not in fear of him, just getting more worried each second as he got darker and darker with what he was saying. "That isn't you, Zach," Yaoyorozu said, taking another step forward, moving closer to him as where he was looking was making her heart race. "The person I know is nothing like that. You try so hard. You give everything you have, just to save people. Even if you've had some slip ups, things you regret, you can't give up. You're doing good things now."
"There's too much," Zach whispered, shaking his head but lifting it a little to stare into Yaoyorozu's eyes once again. "Too much, to ever make up for. I killed them," he said.
"They were accidents," Yaoyorozu countered in a firm tone. "And these things, Zach," she started, shaking her head at him and pursing her lips at the sight of his expression. "They're in the past. Far in the past. You became a hero-"
"It's not all, far in the past," Zach said, his voice cracking on 'all' and sounding like he sobbed the word out. He stepped away from the corner of the roof, but only to lean towards Yaoyorozu and say in a choked-off voice, "Maybe. Maybe some of it- because I did that stuff as Lifebringer. But Jenny," he said, his voice cracking more and water filling his eyes again. "How can I call that, in the past? It was so recent, and I'll never be able to make up for- I'll never be able to forgive myself-" he bit down on his bottom lip but it slid out from beneath his teeth because his lips were shaking so hard. He couldn't stop though, and he said through a strained voice, his entire face full of fear and regret. "Just after VTS. Strapped to a chair by barbed wire with no way to get to her, but a camera so I could see every second of it." Zach brought his hands to the sides of his head while Yaoyorozu's eyes were huge and her whole body shaking at what he was starting to say. "And I tried- I really tried to stop watching, so Shigaraki dragged a knife under my eye, and he dug it in," Zach closed his eyes tightly and tears slipped out the corners of them, sliding down the right side of his face right over a long scar that was thicker just beneath the center of it.
"I thought, he was going to dig it out, so I had to open it again. I had to watch, knowing every second she lay there was a second closer to my time limit running out. Ten minutes, twenty, thirty, forty, of the longest minutes of my life," Zach paused and he gasped out, thinking about that night a couple of days after VTS. He snapped his head back and bit down hard, then he yelled out, "And when I close my eyes! I see her burning! She was my age, but I always thought of her like a little sister. I loved her, more than I knew I could ever love someone, and I only realized it as she screamed my name! As she died, screaming out in agony yet still believing that I would come save her. Until her very last breath, she believed in me. And I failed her! I let her die!"
Down one floor, Shoto Todoroki leaned back from his window and bowed his head. He had been at his desk when he heard the shouting on the roof, and he was preparing his ice in case of the worst when he realized who was on the roof and heard the tone of his shouts. He lowered his hand though, and then he brought it back to his face and pressed his palm against his forehead while running his fingers into his hair.
Kyoka Jirou sat on her bed with her earphone jacks plugged into the wall behind her. She wanted to check on Yaoyorozu who she knew was going to try and talk to Zach, but she wished she had never plugged them into the wall in the first place. She pulled her knees up to her chest, tears in her eyes as she disconnected the jacks. Jirou lowered her face between her knees and closed her eyes tightly. Villains. That's so fucking, evil.
Yaoyorozu lifted up her left hand and put it on top of her head. She pushed it back over her hair, opening her mouth to try and say something only to close it again. She stared into Zach's eyes after he shouted that, and she had to try as hard as she could not to cry for him. Instead, Yaoyorozu took another step towards him. Zach leaned back as she walked his way, a soft look on her face full of compassion, and sympathy. He shook his head though at that look, and he yelled, "I got her killed! Her entire family! I lost her! I- I lost everything!"
"You haven't lost everything," Yaoyorozu said, her voice soft and just above a whisper. She took another step and then stopped with her legs close together, a small gap between them so she could talk in a quiet voice. "You haven't lost everyone," she continued. Zach's eyes widened, then he lowered his gaze to the floor and clenched his fists hard at his sides. "You have all your classmates, and friends, and, and I'm your friend too," she said, then she pursed her lips as Zach lifted his gaze and had such a scared look in his eyes.
I know. I've always, known that. But that just means. One day. I'll have to feel this pain again. What if I lose all of you? Or what if, the villains kill you because of me too? Zach thought, grinding his teeth and feeling knives in his heart. It's just too much. Losing you like that. Even if you all won't reject me, like I thought you would over the video, like the others still might. I'll still lose you. Sooner or later, I always lose everything.
"I'm sorry," Yaoyorozu whispered. Zach's eyes widened, and they grew wider and wider as Yaoyorozu bowed her head in front of him and tears started welling up in her eyes. "I'm sorry we had that party on New Year's, but, but I only wanted one thing for my New Year's resolution," she whispered it then lifted her head while taking another step forward. He stared at her with wide eyes and she continued, "When Jirou showed me the school's letter, that you were going to return, only days after that. I cried," she said. "I was so happy."
Zach bit down and he shut his eyes hard, bringing up his left arm and covering them then rubbing it back and forth over them. Yaoyorozu whispered as he did this, "So please, don't go away again. I know you're afraid you're going to lose us, but we're all afraid we're going to lose you too. I'm afraid, when I see you like this." Zach pressed his left arm harder into his face but stopped rubbing it, his eyes opening back up on the other side. He started lowering his arm and stared in front of him and up a little into Yaoyorozu's face.
Zach stared at what he thought was going to be a reassuring, sad but strong look. It was just afraid though. Yaoyorozu's lips were pursed, and her eyes scared as she stared from only a few feet at the boy she was still terrified for. Zach glanced to his side once more, off the side of the building. His eyes narrowed and then he closed them, sucking in a sharp breath while thinking, What, am I doing? What was I really, going to do? His head turned back and his eyes opened again to lock with Yaoyorozu's. Did I just forget, because of that video? I'm so stupid. I knew it. I've known, this whole time, that there are still people who care about me. And what would happen if I had… how would they have felt? And Jenny, if there is something after, and you're looking down on me right now, how ashamed would you be? Mom, Dad, Mr. and Mrs. Akers. I let you all down. And I almost gave up, even though, I haven't made up for any of it.
Zach looked down from Yaoyorozu's face and to the floor between them. Shame was welling up inside him and pushing down on the rest of his emotions, but the rest were still there too. Besides the shame, and the sadness and anger though, he felt something else as he thought about the girl in front of him's expression. His eyes focused harder on the floor, but he started whispering in the softest voice, "I'm okay. You don't have to…" He closed his eyes, and then his lips lifted at the corners into a tiny, very tiny smile. "Thank you, Momo."
Momo's eyes shot open huge, and then they filled with water as Zach took a step towards her. He stepped away from the corner of the building, sniffling and whispering again with his lips trembling, "Thank you. Thank ah, thank you- ah, ah," he took in short rough breaths and then started to lift his head. Before he could look in her eyes though, Momo put her arms around Zach's back and the back of his head. She pulled his head into her left shoulder, and she sniffled too while giving him a hug that she felt like he needed.
She was almost hesitant about doing it, but she pulled him into a hug and then tightened it more as she heard the gasp come out of his mouth. When was the last time someone, anyone held you close like this? Yaoyorozu thought, squeezing on Zach's back and hoping her feelings would get through to him. You still have, people who care. Please, know this.
Zach's eyes got wetter and he lowered his head into Momo's shoulder, whispering again, "Thank you." The hug was unexpected, and as soon as it happened he tensed up. He could not think of the last time anyone had hugged him, given him any form of contact similar. He thought back to after the upperclassman got mad at him for not saving his cousin from a drunk driving accident, and how Kaminari had put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Before that though, Zach thought, as he stopped sniffling as much and actually lifted up his left arm, putting it on Yaoyorozu's back and just accepting the comfort she was giving him. When? No one. For so long. How long? Who last… It was probably, Jenny. Zach's eyes shut and he pressed his face into the taller girl's shoulder, and he just let out a silent sob. He had not told anyone the things he had just told her. He had told her things he had never told anyone, and here she still was. "Thank, you."
Momo held Zach there near the edge of the roof. It was cold in the dark of night in February, but she felt warm as she listened to his quiet sobs and the repeated 'thank you's escaping his lips. Zach, Momo thought, rubbing the hand on his back up and down for a second to show him she was still there. My New Year's resolution, the one thing I wanted, was to "find" you. Even though you were back though, I never really did that. Not until now. Zach, she held him tighter, I found you.