I do not own FFVII or any of it's characters.


You and me

I was suddenly there. How long had it been since I've seen in this place? The Darkness that always seemed to surround me was nothing compared to the massive rays of lights that adorned the cave. This place had stayed the same ever since the last time I visited it, but why? Why all of a sudden I was here?

I looked up, scared of what I might find, I knew what I would see, but still I had to make sure. She was there, my eyes still looked at her like the most beautiful being on earth, her skin as white as I can remember, her hair as long and beautiful, and everything remained the same. She looked like a doll… a doll: I thought; that is what she is, a beautiful soulless body, it doesn't matter how well she was preserved inside her crystal shell, she was dead, that was the only truth. I had killed her.

"I'm sorry…" echoed in the cave, I was unable to move. Then time passed and it seemed like eternity to me, until I wanted to run away from there. Then, the air turned thicker and It became really difficult to breathe, maybe this is the end, I was happy that this would be the end; finally, I would pay for all my sins… "Lucresia"

When my eyes opened once again, I found Cloud staring at me with a very anguished look. It had been just a dream, but why all of a sudden? It's been almost a year since I had that dream.

I could not dare to look at him, after this dream, my anger didn't make any more sense. Everything was messed up, if I could only get back to my coffin…

"Vincent…" My body was limp, my mind disconnected. I did my best to get up from bed and dress up; he only stared outside the window. I couldn't erase those images on my mind, the way she always picked up her hair, her hands. The mental image was so clear I could close my eyes and see her standing there in front of me.

But she wasn't really there, there was no point in imagining thins that are not. The door creaked as I opened it and I shut it behind me. I don't know when, I wasn't aware, but he followed closely as I left the inn.

While soaring though the massive extensions of this continent I could only keep thinking of her, I only wanted to run away; even though I knew he was following I didn't made any evasive maneuvers. I didn't know where I was heading. I could only let my instincts drive me. Once we stopped I realized we had reached I place I wasn't expecting to subconsciously come, it all happened in a blink of an eye, or at least that's what I thought. We were now in the outskirts of Nibelheim.

When I finally was in my 5 senses I felt a tug on my cape, the sunlight hit his hair as I looked at him, golden locks playing with the wind; and there was a moment of tranquility as I saw his blue orbs as deep as the ocean, as clear as the sky, such a lovely scene that suddenly turned into a squall when his eyebrows revealed pain and his chest let the air in his lungs escape in a deep sigh. I know that expression; I've seen and studied it before.

He held my claw, almost lovingly, guiding me to enter the town. All I could do about it was just follow.

Everything on the town reminded me of her, I felt back at those horrid times when all I could do was watch. When I came back to reality when I felt Cloud stop and stare at the Nibelheim Mansion. This cursed place holds so many stories, all of anguish, of terror. Stepping inside of it was like sinking on purpose until your lungs fill with water, with the exception that you cannot die from it; just feel the pain that it causes.

It attracted me like light to moths, the moment became like one of those times when you know you're walking but you can't comprehend that you're doing it. I remembered it all; it was tattooed on my mind, the secret pass way, the spiral stairs, the rotten smell of the basement.

The basement…

So suddenly I was there again. Everything in my mind seemed to be blurred, I felt my hands burning from the inside, my chest was begging for air and I heard his voice again. That same voice that drives me wild in battle, I looked around to ask Cloud for help me but he wasn't there; somewhere along the road to this place he left me, that only fed Chaos anger more.

By the time when my vision came from blurry to complete darkness all I could do was guide me by the scent, Chaos almost completely owned me I could not let him accomplish his task, my soul struggled to take back my body but it didn't seem to work; I know I was moving fast; to where? I still could smell the mako of the basement.

I kept struggling; there hasn't been any battle Chaos has won until now. I gained control of the nervous system a moment later, but something was bothering me. I could smell leather and gasoline mixed up with mako and… blood, yes blood. That red substance that drives Chaos to an ecstasy state; my body could feel pleasure just from tasting it. More than ever, I had to find a way to gain a total control and fast. I knew Cloud was in danger.

The thick air of rotten medicine made the demon weak a little, just enough for me to half getting back my body to normal, now I could smell something else, something I've been delighted to smell these past few days with the blonde. I could smell semen. I grew more and more terrified of in which state I could find Cloud; as soon as I gained control of my ears I could hear Cloud scream in pain my name.

"Vincent! Ugh... Come ba-aaack! Arg! I can't… I can't… take it anymore…" It was soft as if he was giving in pain mixed with pleasure. But I couldn't give up, no matter how strong the beast inside me told me to let me rape him; I couldn't make this to him. There were still so many things I wanted to tell him, and I wouldn't be able to if I kept hurting him like this.

My eyes opened with one last struggle. I could see Cloud on top a desk, his clothes ripped apart and bleeding from Chaos excessive force while raping him. Books and papers were all scattered around the table, my breathing was fast and we were both sweating cold. I pulled myself out of him as gentle as I could; he looked at me with caring eyes. How can he after all of this?

"You're back…" Tears, I could feel tears running down my cheeks; after all these years of prohibiting myself of any emoting I was showing one of them. I felt ashamed of myself. I was about to leave, when I felt Cloud gently tug my hair. I couldn't see his face from his bangs.

"Sorry, I brought you here; I just thought you wanted to… remember her…" My heart skipped a beat, at those words. He probably heard me call for her at my slumber. More than ever I wanted to escape and forget about all these, but the blood spilled all over the desk reminded me of what I have done and of the ex-soldier I've hurt so much.

I grabbed one of my Cure Materia for him, but he refused to use it. He pointed out painfully at his eyes, making me remember the mako infusion… that means he should be fine at least.

"Thanks to mako, I can bear with it… I didn't know Chaos was so…"

"Stop it!... it shouldn't have happened…"

None of us dared to say anything else, something close as silence could be heard in the surroundings. I found my cape near a chair, which I gave to Cloud so he could cover himself. My clothes were also nearby, somehow ragged but still usable. By this time I was fully back to my human form, but I still looked at myself like a monster.

"Lucresia…"

I turned around in an instant; he was looking through some books at the shelves that adorned the whole room. I felt anger rising again, but I tried my best control it when I heard him said that name.

"Tell me… I want to know… I want to know about you…" His voice was soft almost like a whisper, like if he was begging.

"I want to forget about it…" He looked at me with sad eyes as I spoke a little bit louder than usual.

"There… are some things we want to forget, but sometimes we can't, I'm not saying that you can't… I guess I'm speaking of myself; but still, I think talking about it… it … helps."

He was playing nervously with some pieces of cloth he found on the desk. That made me thought for a while, about how I've never told anyone about what really happened, I wasn't sure if it was the best to talk about it now, why now all of a sudden let it all out?

"What about you?... Have you ever talked about what happened to you?"

He was silent. Then fixed his blue orbs on the blood stained floor.

"I… let him die…"

"I let her die…"

"I couldn't save him…"

"I couldn't save her."

"I loved him…"

"I loved her…"

"…"

"…"

"Sometimes I think I still do…"

"… sometimes I… Yes… I know how that feels."

Somehow my claw found his way to his cheek, and softly made him look at me; his expression was sad, yet empty. I wondered if it mimicked my own.

It was night already, I could perfectly tell, after spending so many years inside this mansion; I developed the weird ability to tell exactly the time without looking outside, not that it mattered; it was just a simple fact.

We found ourselves in a strange place now, even though we spent a big part of our lives in this town, it no longer hold a reason for us to stay. This simple visit had a nostalgic purpose. It was his intent to make me see I'm still attached to someone else that's not him. Now I could understand his pain. I still don't know how I forgot about something so important, I guess I was blinded by the anger of not being able to have something; nothing good belonged to me, not even him. I just have this interminable list of sins.

We kept looking through the basement, looking for something that didn't even existed, we were just distracting ourselves for what had happened earlier. If we were able to find some clothes for the blonde while looking through the nothing it would help a lot.

He motioned me to head back to the town to get some sleep and change clothes, I agreed and let him guide the way back. After passing the experimental labs we found the room where I slept for 30 years, it somehow used to bring me peace, but not now, it was indifferent. I wondered if I would felt the same tranquility staying in there now.

He entered without hesitation. Looking at all the spider webs that have formed since last time made me wondered how long I have been outside of this place. He cleaned the dust inside the coffin where I used to sleep. Remembering also this was the place where we first met. Watching him trying to get inside if it was really awkward, once he was resting on the coffin I approached him slowly. His eyes were empty and fixed somewhere that doesn't exist in this room.

Now that I was there I realized that here was no longer a place to hide, my only choice was to wake up to the real life. Keep on living, trying to find a better part of all this mess, if possible. Cloud was already trying to do so.

"I could never be like her... I'm sorry."

"I never asked you to be."

"..."

"I'll never be him either..."

"This means... we're not trying to replace anyone..."

"No one can replace what is gone..." My voice echoed all over the place.

"Then what are we?" He looked up at me while still resting on the coffin, he had the same expression of childish anguish that I once had at the moment I decided to sleep so many years.

There was some sort awkward silence when he asked me that. I didn't know what to say, we were not lovers, the word love had been erased from my vocabulary when I lost the reason for it. We weren't just playing either, this was obviously too serious to be a game. We were to damn broken to be anything that would have a name for it.

"Vincent..."

"We are..." Snapping out of my thoughts I saw him completely vulnerable when he thought he really felt safe all wrapped around my cape trying to find a more comfortable position to be.

"You and me… " I caressed his cheek with my human hand, thinking back into the eternal transience of the time where we cannot return to.

He reminds me of myself…

End of Chapter

This was a really difficult chappie it took me so long to finish it, mostly because 99 of the time I have no clue what's going to happen next… so you can tell this is ALL improvised… and blame Dirge of Cerberus… Vincent is so obsessed over Lucresia Oo