I seem to have a thing for minor characters. Almost all my favorites are the cool, but unimportant ones from whatever game or show or whatever. Anyway… I wonder how long Lucrecia has been twenty-one…

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVIII or anything from it. Squaresoft does.

Chapter Five: Bad Luck Good Luck

The great winged lion surveyed the crowd before him. Wherever his gaze fell, the people drew back. "Wow, that's a lot of enemies," said Griever.

Considering the fact that the GF could blast them all to kingdom come, Biggs took the chance of talking to him. With his luck, he'd most likely offend him and cause his own painful, searing death. "Hey, uh, lion dude, d'you mind getting us out of this mess?" he asked.

"My name is Griever, and sure. I am junctioned to you." Griever crossed his arms and released a whole batch of controlled Tornado spells, blowing away most of the mob. The few left who didn't run away themselves were too scared to move. "Okay…I guess this would be our cue to RUN!" shouted Wedge and took off, with Biggs and Griever following behind. Once they were safely out of the city, Griever vanished back into Biggs's mind. Once again they were wanderers. As they walked, they conversed.

"Sir, you do know that junctioning a GF causes memory loss, don't you?" asked Wedge.

"Um, you don't have to worry about that. I junctioned him to my sensory whatchamacallits so now I have enhanced senses with no memory loss," replied Biggs.

"Oh. I didn't know you were that smart."

Biggs backhanded him between the eyes. "Ah!"

"Serves you right for insulting my intelligence."

"That's your way of showing affection, is it?"

"No, that's my way of telling you not to hurt my feelings."

"You have feelings?" said Wedge sarcastically. He dodged a swipe from his friend.

"You're heartless," said Biggs as he faked a hurt tone of voice.

"Well, I am an evil bastard. By the way, I didn't think that there really was a GF in that feather. Maybe I'm cut out to be a prophet."

"You wish. Anyway, I have a GF! Those kids kicked our butts cause they had GFs on their side. Now that I have one too, we can get our revenge!"

"I don't like the sound of that…"

"Trust me, it's fool proof." By this time, they had reached the oceanside. Biggs summoned Griever. He appeared in an impressive display of pyrotechnics and glory, ready to wreak vengeance upon all who would dare to harm his new master.

"Huh? Where's the enemy?" asked Griever.

"No enemy this time, I'm afraid," said Wedge.

"Take us to Balamb!" commanded Biggs.

"What am I, your butler? Call me when you're in danger."

"Hey, I thought you're supposed to do what your master says."

"Sigh…Fine, but don't blame me if I drop one of you in the ocean."

Griever picked up the two men and flew away. Biggs, who always preferred to be in control of things, got on top of Griever's back and rode him like a flying pony. This left the poor GF sandwiched between two humans: Biggs on top, Griever in the middle, and Wedge being held at the bottom. The great lion sighed in exasperation. This is so degrading, he thought as he flew for the island of Balamb.

o—o

Wedge was really starting to regret being so passive about his friend's decisions. Right now they were in the town of Balamb. Biggs was asking for directions to the Garden. "What do you mean it's not there! It has to be! It can't be flying around the world all the time!" he shouted.

"Look, as far as we know, that thing was built by the Centra Empire, so it probably could float around on the ocean for all eternity, okay? I'm just saying that if you came all the way here from Galbadia just to see the Garden, then you've wasted your time," said the owner of the car rental.

"Are you calling me dumb?"

"I lease cars for a living, mister whoever-you-are. If I were rude, I'd go out of business. So no, I'm not calling you stupid," he said, albeit a bit impatiently. Biggs sighed in exasperation and stalked off, with Wedge following behind. "Thank you," said Wedge politely to the man. The two ex-soldiers walked to the dock and sat down.

"Stupid Garden piloted by stupid SeeDs floating around stupidly on the stupid ocean…" mumbled Biggs morosely as he sat, arms around his legs and his chin on his knees.

Wedge resisted the urge to sigh. No matter how demented Biggs could be, he was still his friend. And right now he was in desperate need of comfort. He had set his heart on wreaking vengeance and all the frustrations of his heart upon the hapless Garden and its occupants, after all. It may not be a God-given or legal right, per se, but revenge is too sweet an opportunity to pass up for Biggs. Wedge knew this by experience. Once, he had somehow upset his friend, and, in the middle of the frigid winter night, Biggs had abducted him and tied him (still undressed) to the top of a flagpole. Apparently, it was to teach him a lesson in "respecting his superior officers and all that crap." He knew that Biggs didn't really care about rank, since he was equally rude to all men, who were born equal. Wedge did learn a lesson, though, about not incurring the wrath of his friend when Biggs was in one of his moods. Wedge called those moods "menstruation."

Wedge tentatively put an arm on Biggs's back. "Come on, sir. It'll be okay. We'll find the Garden and show them who's boss," he said.

Biggs continued to mumble. "This sucks. Stupid, stupid, stupid…"

This was useless. If there were a Nirvana of sullen fury, Biggs would be the first one to achieve it. If Biggs was going to wallow in his wrathful, morose bloodlust, then blood was the only way to bring him out of it. Wedge looked around. Seagulls… he thought.

Then inspiration struck. He looked to make sure that what he was about to do would be within Biggs's range of vision. A circle of blue magical energy spread out from him as he cast a Thundara spell at a nearby seagull. The poor bird went down squawking shrilly in a flurry of charred feathers and landed on the Garden student sitting nearby, surprising him and making him fall into the salt water with a "What the-".

Biggs made no sound. Wedge looked proudly at his masterfully applied Domino effect before turning to look at his comrade. Biggs was having a rather difficult time stifling his laughter. His face was distorted as if he had just eaten something incredibly bitter and been told he'd just won a trillion gil at the same time. Then, true to his personality, Biggs couldn't hold it in any longer and burst out laughing. "That was the awesomest thing I've ever seen, Wedge! Pure genius! Mwahahahahahahaha!"

Yes, life was good. Biggs was part evil. If you could still amuse him by causing harm to others, then you knew everything was fine. "Now about my revenge…" said Biggs.

o—o

OK, I'll stop for now. If you review, I'll purr happily like a lion having its ears scratched. Biggs and Wedge rule! Leonine One out.