Disclaimer: I own none of the anime series mentioned here, unless, of course, I actually own the item in real life. I don't own Labyrinth either, but I'd like to own Jareth.

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I sighed, looking out of the window. A faint breeze ruffled my waist-length dark hair and lifted the anime posters from the wall. My Cardcaptor Sakura pen tapped against the desk while my beloved Kirara plushie watched as strains of Ayumi Hamasaki floated to my ears from across the room. My school uniform was pristine and crisp, with a white blouse, gray skirt and black tie freshly pressed while my brown eyes anime-ishly surveyed the room.

It was the ideal otaku environment, except for one thing.

Homework.

"Glaaah!" I muttered, and would have thrown the Calculus book across the room would it have not hit my beloved Nuriko poster. I sniffed. "Why can't life be like anime where school girls get whisked off to another world? C'mon Destiny, any time now. I'm a normal high scholar wearing my school uniform. I FIT THE REQUIREMENTS!"

"Uhhh . . . Raven? Do you and your posters need to be left alone, cause I can do that," the hesitant voice of my brother asked, pointing to his room across the hall.

"What do you want?" I asked, swiveling towards him on my chair, unhappy about being interrupted in the middle of my rant.

"Wanted to see if you would duel me," he grinned. "Just got a new Yu-Gi-Oh card from the guys at the library."

"What'd you trade this time?" my curiosity took over.

"Well, I traded a Summoned Skull and Shadow Spell for this little baby," he thrust the card under my nose. I gasped.

"But that's the holographic, secret rare, ultra-deluxe, 1337 special edition Neo the Magic Swordsman!" I squealed, trying to snatch it out of his grasp.

"Yup. And it's all mine," he smirked, knowing how much I had wanted that card.

"But . . . but," I made my best puppy-dog face at him. "That's the card that I've wanted every since they came out with the game! I've borrowed my next 36 allowances just buying the booster packs that come with the card! Collin, you've got to let me have that card!"

"Fifty dollars," he quoted, naming his price.

I exploded. "FIFTY! FIFTY! I don't have that kind of money! You've got to be kidding me!"

"Twenty then," he sighed, waving the card in front of my face and watching in amusement as my eyes followed it back and forth.

I whimpered, but gave in. "Deal." I pulled out my Totoro bank and shook out the money I was supposed to be saving for a convention, but kept buying more manga with. I t totaled slightly more than twenty-five dollars. "Here," I poured the money, mostly change, into his hands.

"Pleasure doing business with you," he grinned and dropped the card in front of me.

"Whoo bay-bee! Come to momma!" I exclaimed, with joy, rubbing my cheek over the metallic surface. "My precioussssss," I hissed, looking around for potential Bilbos to pop up.

Collin rolled his eyes. "I'm living with a weirdo," he muttered and shook his head, heading out of the room.

"I'm going to love you and hug you and squeeze you, yes I am," I crooned to the card, kissing the picture and tracing the manly outline of Neo with my finger. "No orc, or elf, or dwarf, or gnome, or goblin will every take you, precious."

Collin popped his head up. "I thought that was from Lord of the Rings," he commented.

"Listen, if they make The Hobbit into a comic book and let me have access to it, I can't be responsible for the consequences," I snapped at him.

"Riiiight. Mom says it's dinner time. Getcher butt downstairs." Collin flashed me a grin that made me want to throw my Hamtaro pillow at him.

"Gimmie a sec," I called after him. Making sure that no annoying Bilbos or Frodos were around, I reached for the locked box that held all of my Yu-Gi-Oh cards and unlocked it. Sitting on the top of the very formidable pile of anime goodies was a rubber-banded group of my favorite cards. Giving it one last kiss, I gently placed my special Neo the Magic Swordsman on top of the pile and closed the lid, locking the box, and headed to dinner.

After a wonderful meal of chopstick-eaten spaghetti, causing the rest of my family to wonder what went wrong in the gene pool, I bounded up the stairs, uniform skirt still on, ready for any sort of whisking to a magical world that might happen any second.

Thinking back, I should have been more prepared.

I burst into my room, singing the Saiyuki theme song to myself, going straight for my desk. I was so preoccupied, I didn't even notice the complete bishonen on the other side of the room.

"Good evening, Raven," a cool voice wafted to by ears.

I whirled about, thinking first that I had been wishing so badly for a manga experience that I was hallucinating. My second though was whether or not I should get a bucket for the drool that was threatening to ruin my pristine uniform.

In front of me was a man whose hotness could only be compared to Gackt, one hunk of a J-Pop artist. His blonde hair was fixed into a mullet that would have made Rurouni Kenshin jealous. Framing his legs were form-fitting tights straight out of the classic Princess Tutu and eyes most definitely from some Clamp shojo manga. However, above the eyes . . .

"You have Dorothy eyebrows," I informed him.

He seemed taken aback, and raised said eyebrows. "I beg your pardon?"

"Dorothy. From Gundam Wing. Hang on a sec, I'll show you a picture." I rummaged around in my bookcase, dislodging various Fushigi Yugi and Inu-Yasha books before finally coming across the third volume of Gundam Wing in which there was a close shot of Dorothy's head.

"Here, see?" I flipped to the page and showed him.

"Hn," he looked over my shoulder, which allowed me to get a very nice view of what the tights covered . . . or at least tried to. I had to fight to keep my drool from overflowing onto said area.

"You're right. I'll have to get my stylist to fix that later," he muttered, plucking the book from my hands to examine it closer.

"Wait, this isn't what I came here for," he corrected himself, tossing the book over his shoulder. Making an eeping noise, I ran fro it and managed to catch the spine before it hit the ground.

"You do not EVER throw my manga," I growled at him, eyes flashing. "Just who do you think you are anyway!"

He gave me a smirk. "I am Jareth, king of the goblin city."

"Uh huh. That's nice. Hotohori's got a better title than you though," I muttered distractedly, placing Gundam W back in its appropriate spot.

"Listen, Raven," he tried to get back my attention. "You made a boast before dinner about how you would never let any goblin or gnome or elf steal your card."

"Dwarves too, but what about?" I asked, turning back to him.

"We've decided to take you up on your little challenge." Jareth grinned. "I've stolen your card."

My first impression was one of "Yeah, right," but when he produced my card out of thin air, my disbelief went up in smoke, becoming raging anger. "YOU GIVE THAT BACK!" I yelled at him, leaping for my precious card, grabbling at the air.

"Aah, ah, ah. Manners, Raven," he tsk-ed at me, flashing a wicked grin. He flicked his fingers, and my card disappeared, replaced with a clear crystal ball.

My interest perked. "Is that the Shikon Jewel?" I asked, severe otaku-ness taking over again.

I swear, if he wasn't the goblin king, and trying to be so suave, he probably would have face-fell right into my carpeted floor.

"No, Raven," he chuckled, trying to right himself. "This is a crystal ball. Nothing more, nothing less. Look in here."

I peered in. "Shiny." I looked back up at him. "So what?"

He sighed dramatically. "Look deeper."

I squinted into its depths again. I fell into swirling clouds, watching a scene unfold. I was there, surrounded by all types of otaku goodies. There was a closet full of anime-themed clothing, right down to Hello Kitty socks. The room was practically insulated with all types of posters, wall scrolls, clocks, figurines, plushies, and cells. Even the lovely futon had Bishojo Senshi Sailor Moon portrayed brilliantly in 24 thread count cotton. But best of all, on either sides of the room were two things that made me want to faint. The first was a humongous bookshelf, filled to bursting with alphabetized manga, every one I had ever read, and more. The second, which I nearly died seeing, was a full-length TV screen, taking up most of the wall, the rest being a shelf filled with DVDs.

I whimpered and shut my eyes.

I opened them.

The room was still there.

"I have come . . . to heaven," I sighed, flopping down on the futon, and grabbing the nearest plushie, which turned out to be an adorable Inu-Yasha.

"Enjoying yourself?" a cool voice asked, knocking me out of my reverie. I scowled upwards at him from the crystal.

"Yes, actually. Now if you don't mind, I'll be going back in there." I glanced back down, but the crystal ball had vanished, leaving me with a clear view of Jareth's OTHER ball.

"I take it you liked that little excursion?" he chuckled at me.

"Yuh huh," I replied, focusing on the place where the crystal used to be.

"My eyes are up here."

"So's your hair. What's your point?"

"My point is, Raven," he smiled, too cool to be fazed for long by me, "Is that all of what you saw . . . could be yours."

I looked at him skeptically. "Am I on Candid Camera?" Getting no reaction from that, I assumed he wasn't just poking cruel fun at the broke otaku. "What's the catch?"

"No catch," he smiled benevolently at me, producing the crystal out of thin air again. "Either you have what you saw, and not the card, or you play my game, and get your card back. No catch at all, Raven."

I thought for a second. The crystal's promise was tempting . . . but . . . Hey! Wait a minute! I paid twenty dollars for that card! And there's the plot to think of . . . Ooooh no. Jareth-sama here had messed with the wrong fangirl.

"You're going down," I grinned at him, attempting to pull off the whole fang-hanging-over-lip look, but instead looked like I just drank sour milk.

He smirked at me. "As you wish, Raven." Unfolding his arms, and allowing me to sneak a peek at his magnificently spandexed crotch, he caused the scene to change from my anime'd out the wazoo bedroom to a barren wasteland, with a maze in the distance.

"There is the labyrinth," he pointed. "In the middle is my castle. You have thirteen hours to get there. Unless you wish to go back, of course."

I glared at him, probably looking like I had a cramp. "You have incurred the wrath of the mighty otaku," I intoned. "Prepare to meet the consequences."

He gestured at me, and a watch with thirteen numbers on the face appeared on my wrist. "I'll be watching," and with a flick of his eyebrows, he disappeared.

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Anime Lexicon:

Cardcaptor Sakura: Anime that was actually on Kids WB for a while. Had Taco Bell toys recalled for "occult concerns"

Kirara: A demon cat from the series Inu-Yasha. Is really cute, and I actually own the plushie. It sits on my desk, glaring at me to do my homework.

Ayumi Hamasaki: A popular J-Pop artist. Download some of her stuff. She's excellent.

Otaku: Literally "fan," usually a detrimental term, but in this case, Raven's proud to be one.

Nuriko: Character from Fushigi Yugi. I own the poster of him/her/it. Yay for gender bending.

Destiny: Not technically a reference, since I wasn't calling him by name, but I love Destiny from Neil Gaiman's Sandman. Read it. Now.

"Fit the requirements": Raven is referring to the fact that most "normal high school students" get whisked off to a magical world while still wearing their school uniform.

Yu-Gi-Oh! – Japanese anime that's quite popular here. There are tournaments and games that go on at local libraries, and yes, my little brother does frequent them.

Summoned Skull and Shadow Spell – Two cards from Yu-Gi-Oh.

Holographic, secret rare, ultra-deluxe, 1337 special edition Neo the Magic Swordsman: Umm, again, not a reference. There is a card called Neo the Magic Swordsman, and I think he's very hot, but it's just a normal card.

Totoro: An anime made by the god Hayao Miyazaki. Same guy who made Spirited Away and won an Academy Award for it. Worship his socks.

Convention: A gathering of like minded people. Basically, an anime convention is were everyone dresses in costume and eats lots of goodies.

Manga: Japanese comic books.

The Hobbit: They did make it into a comic book. Seriously. My friend got it for me for Christmas last year.

Hamtaro: You have been living under a rock if you haven't heard of this series. Cute hamsters in adventures. My friend's sister is obsessed with this show, and does have a huge Hamtaro pillow.

Saiyuki: A series based on the Chinese folktale "Journey to the West." Four hot guys traveling to India alone. –drool-

Bishonen: Impossibly beautiful men, usually with effeminate characteristics

Gackt: I have two lovely pictures of this man in my locker. Google him and drool.

Rurouni Kenshin: A man with a mullet. No, seriously, a wandering swordsman with lovely red hair.

Princess Tutu: I have never seen it, but a cute series where all the men wear tights

CLAMP: A group of four women who make manga. Made Cardcaptor Sakura and many other famous manga.

Shojo: Literally "Girl," usually refers to something that girls like.

Dorothy from Gundam Wing: HER EYEBROWS COULD KILL A MAN FROM TWENTY PACES!

Fushigi Yugi: Excellent magical girl series. Hot men galore

Inu-Yasha: Dog-demon with squishy ears. Comes on Cartoon Network every Saturday.

Hotohori: Fushigi Yugi man. Lovely hair, and the Emperor of Konan. See, that's so much more impressive than "Jareth, king of the goblins."

Shikon Jewel: Plot device in Inu-Yasha. Basically, a round crystal thingy.

Hello Kitty: Again, I say, you have been living under a rock.

Bishojo Senshi Sailor Moon: Formal title of Sailor Moon. Magical girls in short skirts.

-sama: A term of respect. In Raven's case, she's poking fun at Jareth.

Fang-hanging-over-lip look: A lot of more masculine men have fangs that hang over their lips when they're doing something masculine. I don't get it, but they look hot.

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