A/N: Wow, I wasn't really expecting any reviews. This makes me feel so happy. -sniffs- Just to clarify any misconceptions you may have had, Jareth is not going to fall in love with Raven, or vice-versa. I have no intent of paring Jareth with any other character than Sarah, and she isn't appearing in this fic. Sorry about the shortness, but I had Muppet goblins running through my head singing "Dance Magic, Dance" for TWO WHOLE DAYS, so I figured that I'd better get this story out.

Disclaimer: I own no anime series, unless you count the promo "Flame of Recca" DVD I got with this month from Animerica. I don't own Labyrinth, it's my mother's copy that's older than I am. I only tried to fast-forward through the entire movie to get to Sarah's pretty dress and skip the Fieries.

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"The LEAST he could have done was make the watch Ranma ½," I grumbled to myself, berating Jareth on his choice of watch. It was a light Swiss type watch, but I would have liked it better if it had a panda on the face. Muttering about stupid mulleted goblins, I walked to the gates of the Labyrinth.

They were huge. To say that I could have easily have crammed my school into it and still had room for tea would have been an understatement. I approached the massive gates. "Open Sesame?" I asked hesitantly. They didn't budge. "Sherbert Lemon? Cockroach Cluster? Acid Pop?" Nothing. Time to change tactics . . . or series.

I placed my hand on the iron door. "OPEN THE GATE!" I bellowed.

Birds, or whatever passed for them here, chirruped in the distance.

"Dang, I thought Gate Keepers woulda . . ." the gates creaked open. ". . . worked," I finished with a triumphant grin.

Stepping into the maze, I looked around, "Jareth really needs to fire his interior decorator," I commented dryly, noting the damp walls and moss, along with numerous species of vines. "Maybe he'll do it around the same time he fires his stylist."

Two paths lead from the doors, both leading in opposite directions along the side of the Labyrinth. "Well, that's a bust," I thought aloud. "Okay, now let's see. Theseus used a ball of string . . . Can't tell what the people in "Maze" did, cause I haven't read it . . . Someone else did all right turns . . . another person had a ball of enchanted string. . ."

I rummaged in my left pocket for some enchanted string. I came up with some spare change, a couple of pens, and a receipt for my latest copy of Alice 19th. I reached into my right pocket. No ball of thread there, but I did have . . . POCKY! WOOT! I pulled out a packet and opened it, walking along the right side of the Labyrinth, blissfully munching my snack.

"'Ello," a small voice cheerfully called out from the wall, snapping me out of my Pocky induced coma. I peered at the creature. It was an adorably kawaii little worm, fluffy hairs poking from its head. "I want it," I whispered to myself, repeating the maxim of Akira's mothers from Clamp Campus Detectives.

"You'd like to come in for a cup of tea?" asked the worm. "The missus'd be glad to have ya."

"Believe me, I'd love to," I said, crouching down. "But I probably wouldn't fit in your home, and I'm really in a hurry. Jareth stole something precious to me, and I intend to get it back," I said politely, making a point to be nice to the worm. You never knew when animals could be magical. Just look at Mokona from Magic Knight Rayearth. He turned out to be the creator of the universe. You might've just put a sign on him saying "Please do not piss off the pink fluffball."

"Jareth's been stealing baby brother's again, has he?" the worm nodded knowingly.

"Noooooo," I said, confused. "He took my Yu-Gi-Oh! card."

The worm's face broke open into a grin. "You'd be collecting them too then, would you? In that case, are you sure you don't want to come inside?" Me 'n the missus was just about to watch the uncut subtitled version.

I swear, my mouth dropped open big enough to fit a Gundam inside. I had to fight the urge to drool of Yu-Gi-Oh! in all of its uncut subtitled Japanese glory. "Well, I do have thirteen hours . . ." I made a last attempt at resisting the worm's offer, but gave up and followed him inward while my body steadily went all Miyuki-chan in Wonderland.

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Jareth gazed at the scene unfolding in his crystal ball. Just as he thought. The girl was no match for all the temptations along the way. He glanced up from the ball, and watched in amusement from his high perch in the throne room. Below him, a full scale casino swirled away, flashing lights, jingling coins, and the cries of excitement or disappointment as someone won or lost.

He would have chuckled and rubbed his hands gleefully if it wasn't below his dignity. This casino was a stroke of genius. Now Jareth, King of the Goblins, was going to be the richest fae in all of Faerie. Casino notwithstanding, there was going to be the DFD (Digital Faerie Disk) of Raven's quest, merchandising of her quest, and all of the humungous bets made on the outcome.

Jareth was so preoccupied in his thoughts, he nearly didn't notice the goblin tugging on his pristine poet's shirt. "Yes, what is it, Hogwash?" he snapped, not even bothering to turn around.

"It's Hoggle, yer majesty," Hoggle spoke in a gravely tone. "Beggin' yer pardon m'lord, but the Labyrinth 'as been set up fer the girl like ya said."

"Excellent," Jareth's mismatched eyes gleamed in the lights. "If I could have your attention, my Lords and Ladies," he called into the crowd, changing his costume so as to make a larger impression on them. The black fabric hugged his form, and when he opened his arms, the draping sleeves offered a magnificent view of his body built form.

"The Labyrinth is now ready!" he announced in a grand tone, teeth flashing. "For a mere gold piece every five minutes, you many check up on your contestant via our pixie cams!"

The crowd roared its approval, and pixies of every color came flying in, carrying a box linked to one of their brethren monitoring the Labyrinth outside. Jareth contentedly left the room, humming something that sounded suspiciously like Bare Naked Ladies' "If I Had A Million Dollars."

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Anime Lexicon:

Ranma ½: Hilarious series where a guy changes into a girl when splashed with cold water. Has some of the cutest watches around.

"Sherbert Lemon? Cockroach Cluster? Acid Pop?": Harry Potter reference. You'll figure it out.

"OPEN THE GATE!": From GateKeepers, a series where high school kids channel their powers by saying what Raven did. Meh, I thought it was funny.

Theseus: Greek Mythology reference to the guy who slayed the Minotaur.

Maze: Arin Ross informs me that it has absolutely nothing to do with a maze; it's another one of those incest animes. I haven't personally seen it myself, so I'll take her word for it, but it makes a nice reference to the Labyrinth, donnit?

Alice 19th: Another Magical girl series. Read it.

Pocky: If you have not had it, I shun you. It's a biscuit covered in a sweet topping. Very nummy.

Kawaii: Fangirl Japanese. "Cute"

Akira's Mothers from Clamp Campus Detectives: Since their son is a thief, whenever they see something they want, they say "WE WANT IT!" and Akira gets it for them. Convenient, huh?

Mokona from Magic Knight Rayearth: Pink fluffball who just happened to be the creator of the universe. Let this be a warning not to piss off animals.

Gundam: Giant Robot from the Gundam series. Google image search is your friend.

Miyuki-chan in Wonderland: Clamp manga I have not read, but would guess that she does indeed shrink, since it's based on Alice in Wonderland. If this is a wrong inference, please tell me.

"If I Had A Million Dollars": Hilariously funny, like all of BNL's songs. One of the lines is "If I had a Million Dollars, We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner!" Hehehehe