A/N: A few things: I'm sorry this is a bit late, but this is one of the hardest scenes to re-create because NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON! I had to wake up at 5 o'clock today to re-watch Labyrinth and see what exactly happened. As a result, David Bowie was singing and shaking his butt to "Dance Magic Dance" all through math class today. Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when David Bowie is singing?
Oh yes, I want to glomp you all! –sniffles- I woke up the day after I posted chapter two, and there were 6, count them, 6 e-mails in my inbox saying I got reviews. You guys made my day. That said, here's chapter three!
Disclaimer: I don't even own the video of Labyrinth, it belongs to my mother, and I placed it on the shelf for ten years because I was that scared of the freaky Fieries.
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About two hours after entering the house , having zombie'd myself in front of the worm's very nice plasma TV, I thanked them (read: worshiped their fluff, since they didn't have socks) and left the house singing the theme song, "Voice," to myself.
Come to think of it, I should have asked for directions.
"ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!" I yelled at everything in sight, having a very large impression on the bricks. They were so frightened, they had stopped moving.
At least the worms had kindly told me how to get through the wall. Who woulda guessed that the wall had a Chichiri-style optical illusion?
Having ranted my anger, I walked through the Labyrinth's twists and turns, desert like setting making me wish for Alice 19th type Lotus power so I could have some water. I found yet another dead end and slumped down on the ground, glancing at the watch Jareth had given me. Oops. I had spent wayyyyy too much time at the worm's house. Ten hours left to my search. I giggled nervously, and looked around to see if anyone had seen my embarrassment. Surprisingly, someone had.
Strange laughter drew my gaze as I blinked at the once dead end. Two odd dog-like creatures carried shields that had a diamond and circle on them. One was in red livery, the other in blue. What really made me stare was the identical heads on the underside of the shields.
"This was a dead end just a minute ago!" I exclaimed, trying not to freak.
"No, that's the dead end behind you!" the undersided red one sniggered, while his blue companion hid himself behind his shield to keep me from seeing his laughter.
"It keeps changing! How am I supposed to travel a Labyrinth that changes more times than Cephiro without a Pillar!" I griped.
"Try one of the doors," the upside down blue one suggested. "One of them leads to the castle, but the other leads to . . ."
"Dun dun dum," his upwards companion supplied.
"Certain death," he finished, and all four . . . or two of the creatures went behind their shields in hysterics again.
"So which one's which?" I asked, hoping again.
"Uhhh . . . . we don't know," the lower blue admitted. "But they do," he said helpfully.
"Okay, I'll ask them then."
"No! You can't!" The upper blue now said. "You can only ask one of us."
"It's in the rules!" upper red agreed. "But I'll warn you, one of us always tells the truth, and one of us always lies. He always lies," he jerked his thumb at his upper companion.
"I do no!" the other said indignantly. "I always tell the truth!"
"Ooh! What a lie!" the upper red disagreed.
"He's the liar!" upper blue accused.
I groaned to myself. Logic. Kami-sama, WHY did it have to be logic. Math had always been my worst subject.
"Ummm . . . . okay," I managed out. "Let's see . . . Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelist's Kingdom had something like this . . ." I pondered. "The twin underground maze acrobat brothers with the kanji on their forehead. Mnnn . . . Jonouchi asked about the doors, but that didn't work because there were two of them . . ." the creatures watched me, obviously mystified by my cryptic otaku mutterings. Finally, I hit on it.
"Wait a second! You!" I pointed at the red one. "Said that one of you always tells the truth, and one always lies. So that statement must be true, or else you are the liar. But if you are the liar, you couldn't have told the truth that one lies and the other tells the truth."
They blinked at this and I continued to ramble.
"Then you must be the truthful one. So the other one is the liar, meaning that when he said I could only ask one of you a question, he was lying. But you agreed with him saying that it's in the rules, proving that he was truthful, and you must be the liar, which we have already agreed that you cannot be." I started talking quickly, getting excited now. "So since both of you have told the truth, then your statement is necessarily false, negating your very existence. Ergo, you don't exist."
"Oh bugger," all said at once, and disappeared in a puff of logic.
"HA!" I crowed, exhilarated by my success. "Take that! Thank you Detective Conan!" I would have laughed in Jareth's face, were he here. "You cannot best the brilliant mind of Raven! BWA! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"
After praising my name for a solid five minutes, I calmed down enough to remember that I was on a deadline. "Oh. Crap." I suddenly realized. "I FORGOT TO ASK WHICH DOOR WAS WHICH!" I wailed, suddenly upset again.
Swearing fluently in fangirl Japanese, I steeled myself and closed my eyes, swirling around and grabbling for the closest door. Opening it, I stepped into the new setting.
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Jareth chuckled to himself, watching the scene unfold in his crystal. Still below him, the Faerie were pumping gold coins by the pound into the boxes of pixie minions recruited by Hoggle from the front gates of the Labyrinth. After this was over, he was going to take a holiday Aboveground using well-earned cash. Perhaps on one of those vaunted cruise ships.
A shower of gold appearing next to him alerted Jareth to another's presence. Changing clothes again to a stunning deep blue this time, he came down on one knee before the incoming Fae and kissed her hand.
"My Lady Titania," he said smoothly from his position on the floor.
"Jareth," Titania gave him a regal smile and lifted him from his knees. "This is quite an establishment you have here," she commented, striding to the balcony, her magnificent green dress trailing behind her. "All this excitement over a mere mortal?"
"It is amusing, is it not?" Jareth came to stand by his queen's side. "Usually one has to take school projects or baby siblings to get this type of reaction. Fussing over a mere card," he snorted politely.
Titania stroked her long fingers over her cheek. "Ah, yes. The Williams girl? I had heard rumors that you professed love to her." Jareth stiffened. "Well, no matter. She beat the Labyrinth and got her due reward."
"Indeed," Jareth forced out, trying to keep his poise in front of the Fae Queen.
Titania turned from the faerie below to the Goblin King. "What do you say to a little wager on the girl?" she suggested, her smile inviting. "She seems to be very determined for just a human."
Jareth considered this offer. Fae were known to be very crafty, and he and Titania were no exceptions. "I place on hundred pieces of gold on my Labyrinth."
"Oh come now, Jareth," Titania laughed lightly, a faint chiming sound. "You can do much better than that. I bet a thousand gold coins on the girl," she announced with finality.
Jareth would have winced were he not in Titania's presence. "Content," he nodded, and shook her hand on the bargain.
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Anime Lexicon:
"Voice": One of the theme songs to Yu-Gi-Oh
Chichiri: A warrior with spiritual powers to create illusions and turn chibi at any given moment. From the series Fushigi Yugi.
Alice 19th: Raven is referring to the Lotus power to create water out of the word "Dasu"
Cephiro: A country in the world of Magic Knight Rayearth that needs a person to be a "pillar" so the world won't fall apart, be eaten by cheese, and such the like.
Kami-sama: Fangirl Japanese for "Dear Lord"
Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelist Kingdom: The first season of Yu-Gi-Oh shown in America.
Jonouchi: The Japanese name for Joey Wheeler
Detective Conan: Referred to as "Case Closed," a series with a mini Sherlock Holmes.
"Puff of Logic": Reference to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. An excellent book, read it.
Fangirl Japanese: When someone uses a strange combination of Japanese and English that others usually can't figure out. The story "Nihongo sugoi, ne?" by Winged Dancer is an excellent example, and I heartily recommend you read it.
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Rrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!