Truths
Mary was tired. It was very odd to her than her energy form could get tired, but it was true. Just like when she had been human, she felt cumulative fatigue growing as she finished up the last stack of reports and sat back in her chair with a sigh. She had known, of course, that when things went right, Starfleet captains rarely, if ever actually got to do things. They were leaders, commanders of mighty starfaring vessels that had crews that numbered in the hundreds or thousands. They were not grunts. They were not better than the personnel they commanded. They had different jobs. No more. No less.
But right now? Mary almost wished she was a raw ensign on security detail. In that case, all she would have had to worry about was herself. Doing such a job had to be far less complex than commanding any starship, let alone one the size of the Denali. Even deep in Federation space, heading for a Federation planet, there was a lot to do. A lot to organize. A lot of meetings to attend and listen to. A lot to command.
She lay the latest report down on her desk and focused on her monitor, checking the data she had read against what was on the screen. It matched and that was good. She didn't move as a throat cleared behind her.
"I hope you spoofed the sensors, Neesha." Mary smiled as she spun and yes, her friend was standing by one wall. "The crew are a bit jumpy at the moment."
"I can't blame them." The ancient Klingon warrior was quiet. "It is not every day people who were fighting such a war see it end. Let alone one as crazy as this one was."
"We did what we could." Mary sat back in her chair, staring at the Klingon who met her gaze. "I wish we could have done more, but there are limits now as always."
"L'Rell has a good chance of rebuilding what J'Mpok tore down. Better her than me." Neesha smiled a bit sadly. "Mother is something else, isn't she?"
"That she is." Mary took a deep breath but one look at Neesha's closed face and she did not say what she wanted to. "I am your friend and ally, Neesha. If you have need of me, say so."
"I want to." Neesha said quietly. "But it is not fair to you." Mary fought not to bristle at that, but Neesha had known her for a very long time. "You know how I feel. You understand our ways, but you are not Klingon. No offense, Mary, you are not Klingon any more than 'I' am now. I never expected you to do this." She waved a hand languidly, encompassing the ship in its entirety.
Mary smiled, but it was melancholy. The survivors of the K'Valk's Honor had come to fight at her side when she had asked. When she and her untried crew had charged headlong into the defense of Boreth. They had done it. They had stopped the Fek'ihri from taking or destroying Boreth and that was a good thing. But so many of the crew hadn't been capable of fighting anymore. Injuries they had sustained had kept them from being to join her glorious battle at Boreth. Mary hadn't cared. She had taken them aboard the Denali anyway, swearing the same oath to them that Captain R'Rollow had. And now? They were hers. They were not pretty. Not well disciplined nor well groomed. But all were dedicated to serving the Alliance. Races she had never even heard of in Starfleet had been serving on the K'Valk's Honor and now? Served the Denali and her.
Unless they couldn't anymore. From the look on her ancient friend's face, Mary knew that was why Neesha was here. Now. She did not speak, made no motion, but Neesha knew her well.
"You don't have to do it." Neesha said softly as Mary looked at the floor. "Mary, you don't have to do it!"
"I am Captain." Mary's tone was just as quiet, but also firm. "My responsibility. I gave them my word. I will keep my word."
"Mary, you are not Klingon." Neesha snapped as Mary shook her head. "You cannot be held to the same standards we are! No one will blame you if you delegate this. No one!"
"If I am not held to the same standard, to my oath to the crew, then what right have I to lead them?" Mary asked, her face set. "I may not be Klingon, but I understand honor. What right have I to ask them to risk their lives for me when I will not even offer them the dignity of following their wishes?" Mary shook her head. "Neesha, I understand your concern but I gave my word. I am not Klingon and I am not human. I am something else. I hoped, but only the Iconians could save Ade'ta and she won't let them. I don't blame her in the slightest." Mary shrugged as Neesha looked thunderous. "Who else was she going to ask?"
"I… I would do it." Neesha all but begged as Mary shook her head again.
"No." Mary said in a tone that might have bent iron. "I know her name and I will never ask that of you." Neesha staggered as if struck, but Mary was relentless. "You may consider a mercy kill of kin to be honorable, but I do not." Now, her tone held rage. It was not directed at Neesha. "No matter what M'Tara did to her, she never betrayed your family, Neesha."
"I know." The female Klingon's voice was barely audible.
"M'Tara gave her no choice. No way out." Mary was as relentless as a tide now. "M'Tara's death and then R'Rollow's intervention stopped the parasites from taking complete control of her and so many others, but she couldn't go back."
"I know." Neesha was Klingon, or had been. She wouldn't show sorrow the way a human would. But Mary knew that her friend was devastated by this. By what had happened to her kinswoman and so many others.
"Neesha, I am sorry." Mary relented on seeing her dear friend so hurt. "I know what it is to lose family. My birth family died. My father was killed right in front of me. The Iconians offered me a new family, not caring where I came from. You?"
"You know I was an orphan. Raised to play the Great Game." Neesha's face blanked. Mary shook her head and Neesha shook hers. "I never looked. I never had time."
The Great Game had been a popular Klingon pass time for a very long time. Otherwise known as 'klin za kinta' it was a board game with many different variations. The worst one in Mary's opinion was the one that had a board the size of an old Earth soccer stadium. That version used live Klingons as game pieces. Unlike most board games, in 'klin za kinta' the pieces had minds of their own and when they converged, battles erupted. No ranged weapons, all hand to hand. Messy, brutal. Very Klingon. The players often had no regard for the lives of the pieces that they threw away, just like many real life commanders in battle. No wonder that some Klingons called Imperial Politics 'the Eternal Game'. Lives, resources, even whole planets were less important than winning to many. Honor was all well and good, but survival trumped it for many Klingons. Not for Neesha though. She was just as quasi-immortal now as Mary was, so she took a long view.
"You asked me not to. I have not and I will not even as curious as I am." Mary promised and Neesha relaxed a little. "That is your business, not mine. My business is that right now? Commander Ade'ta of the House of Kirk is dying by inches and I will help her die with honor. None of the crew will gainsay that. Will you?"
"No." Neesha heaved a sigh. "I want to. You have suffered enough. Even one of my kind has to see how much you have sacrificed to do what you feel is right and honorable. We don't agree all the time, but we do understand. I… I will be around." Mary paused in what she was going to say. Neesha had a very hard job, one that kept her insanely busy. Why was she-?
Oh.
"She is coming after me again, isn't she?" Mary asked and Neesha nodded, just a little. "I will not let her madness hurt my crew. I will not." That was firm. "If she wants to try for me again, she is welcome to."
"Owlesha still thinks you are a threat to the timeline." Neesha said very softly. "She is wrong. Everyone has tried to get her to see reason, to change her mind. Even the ones who set her on this path have rethought their decisions after your displays. After what you said to the princess and what you did with Mlian."
"The sword drove her mad, Neesha." Mary shook her head. "She cannot simply appear out of nowhere like you can. She hasn't got the same accesses you do." She wouldn't say more. It was safer for everyone if she didn't say any more than that. She didn't know a lot about Neesha's job, but what Mary did know scared the captain of the Denali. "That said, she is sneaky and dangerous. I will keep my guard up."
"You do that." Neesha heaved a sigh. "I want to find her and beat her again, but I am here with a 'request'." She made the human gesture of 'air quotes' deliberately enough that Mary smiled. Said smile faded as the Klingon spoke again. "Not by my own will."
"Is someone stupid enough to try pressuring you?" Mary's tone turned downright dangerous and Neesha shook her head.
"No." Neesha reassured her friend. "Just some people with far more responsibilities than mine want you to talk to some others."
"'Others'." Mary repeated and then she shook her head."Let me guess. 'Others' than include a certain lying bitch princess." Not a question. "You know what I will do if I see her in a place where my mother has not asked me to refrain from violence." It would get loud and messy.
"I do and I agree." Neesha's tone was more growl than voice, and held bottomless menace. "Not her or any of her people. A young woman who is sort of affiliated with them wishes to speak with you. She says that she is an Archivist and wants your story."
"No, she doesn't." Mary snapped, her ire fanned anew. "They just want it covered up and gone like always!" She broke off as Neesha shook her head. "You of all people cannot believe them!"
"Mary, I trust them almost as much as you do. Not at all." Neesha was very tightly controlled, but her rage was clear. "They abandoned you. They threw you away to cover their escape, knowing what he would do to you. I am furious with them. You have every right to rage, to revenge. I will be first to say so, but this girl…" Neesha shook her head. "She seems honest. She all but threw herself on my mercy."
Neesha's face held disgust and Mary had to snicker. Neesha had been Klingon before she had met Mary and she was many things. Merciful was generally not one of them. Especially when her family or close friends were harmed. Mary fell into both categories.
"I…" Mary paused and then sighed. "I am angry. Furious. I am not thinking clearly. What are your thoughts?"
"After the abuse you took and all the lies, you have every right to be angry, Mary." Neesha was quiet now, her anger controlled. "She did not demand. She did not go to your Mother or anyone else. She came to me and asked. I was a bit shocked when she did." The energy form Klingon said with a grimace. "I didn't know what to think, so I did what I always do when confronted by such an unknown. I went to Krenn and asked him for the variables. When I told him, he said it offered many choices. Good, bad and indifferent."
"That it does." Mary slumped a bit, carefully banishing her anger. She took a deep breath and then blew it out. "I need to think on that. I am not dismissing it out of hand, but I cannot trust them."
Both of the mismatched beings in the room paused as a chime sounded. Without a word, Mary rose and left her ready room. Neesha did not follow, this was Mary's ship and Mary's responsibility. She would be watching. None of the crew spoke as Mary nodded to the Gorn XO. A silent query. They had only been together a day and already were a honed team.
"We are on course for Cait, Captain Pangolin." The Gorn reported. "ETA eight standard hours."
"How are the repairs going to Hangar Three?" Mary asked and the Gorn checked his screens. That hangar had taken a beating during the fracas over Boreth and was offline until repairs could be made. They could cope, but that did hinder their ability to launch and recover small craft. Not a good thing for a carrier.
"A little ahead of schedule." The huge lizard replied, his tone a bit dubious. "The crew work like demons."
"Or like demons are chasing them." Mary's quiet voice swept the bridge and everyone nodded. Everyone understood now. None would betray Mary or the ship. "I understand that all too well. We are new. We are different. We will forge our own away forward. Hopefully one with honor. I will do my duty to the crew. On that note, I am needed in sick bay."
"Yes, Captain. I have the bridge." Taakezh clearly knew what was coming. He had apparently served with Klingons before. He knew what not to say.
No one else spoke as Mary made her way to the turbolift and activated it. Then it stopped and her Herald stepped in, the Aenar's face blank. Even here, she wore her armor, but had no weapon in hand. Trust would come slowly if it ever came at all for any but Mary. Jhinis knew. Mary could feel her sadness, her desire to fix things, but like Mary, Jhinis knew that some things were simply too broken, too hurt to fix.
"How is the doc coping?" Mary spoke to fill the silence and Jhinis made a face.
"He is not happy with the sudden promotion any more than we are. All of us hoped that the Third Officer…" She would not say the name anywhere that people might hear. Lot of problems had resulted and would result from S'Saak's sudden revelation of his past. Mary had promised herself she would not add to them and her Herald agreed. "…might stay, but I think we all knew that was not going to happen. He doesn't want to get involved with everything going on and I don't blame him."
"Me neither. M'Tara hurt him just as badly as the Borg did." Mary said softly. "Just the records are bad enough. I hope to see him again, but it is a big galaxy. I am sure we will hear from him someday, but until then? We cope. Any problems?"
"Not aboard." The white skinned Andorian replied. "My brother is being a pain in the butt, as usual."
"Do I want to know?" Mary asked, half whimsical, half worried.
"No." Jhinis replied, her face stern. "He seems to think acting that way is okay, but your Mother and her people seem to have scared him into behaving. That is wearing off though."
"As long as he remembers what the word 'No' means, I am okay with it." Mary smiled at Jhinis' expression. "He is a grown Aenar. He makes his choices. If he screws up, he better take responsibility for his choices. I bet that Mother and Healer V'Larr won't let him get away with anything less."
"Having a very powerful and scary mother can be a good thing on occasion." Jhinis shook her head. "What do I do?"
No equivocation. No denials. No screaming, yelling or throwing things. She wasn't happy any more than Mary was, but she did understand. She was linked mind to mind to Mary, so she couldn't help it.
"You are there as a witness. Stand at the door." Mary said soberly as the turbolift stopped and the mismatched pair stepped out into sickbay. An irate human in medical garb bared her way and Jhinis bristled, but Mary shook her head. "Doctor Cyrus, I don't want this any more than you do. But it is her choice."
The Federation doctor had been part of the crew who had come with Alliance forces to help relieve Boreth. Mary had asked for medical staff and the other Alliance ships hadn't stinted. This man was the most senior of those and had taken over the sickbay. Time would tell if he was staying or not, but Mary liked him. Most of the time. His ironclad ethics were a problem at the moment though.
"We can save her!" The human all but spat that at Mary who stood impassive, Jhinis was tensed, ready to do something, but a mental nudge from Mary had her relaxing.
"No, we can't." Mary replied, her tone calm, but sorrow lurked deep inside. "Even Federation technology is not enough to put her back together after what was done to her. The only medicine that could save her, she will not accept. I am not asking you do anything but let me do what I am responsible for."
"I…" Doctor Cyrus shook his head. "I thought I knew." He slumped, just a little. "I read the reports. I saw all the files. I didn't understand. I didn't believe it."
"No one could." Mary reassured him. "Hell, I didn't believe it and I had first hand knowledge of what the Iconians could do at the height of their power. This sickens me, what M'Tara did. I want to make it right and I can't. It was never meant to be reversed."
"So the only release is death." Doctor Cyrus said softly and Mary nodded. "I… I am sorry."
"All I ask is that if you wish to leave, not to spread rumors." Mary was sad, but firm. "The facts are terrifying enough and rumors will spread. I ask is that you do not spread more."
"You need me." Doctor Cyrus shook his head. "I stay."
"Ade'ta made her choice. She asked me the bring her the knife. I have." Mary held out a hand to Jhinis to slapped a Klingon dagger into it. Mary stepped forward and the doctor made way for her, head low in shame. Mary paused and spoke again. "Klingon ways are not human ways and neither are Iconian ways. I have my own reservations, but who am I to deny her choices? Her culture is a hard one, but fair in its own away."
"I understand." The doctor bowed his head, but this time in acknowledgment.
The door opened in front of Mary and Jhinis stopped just inside. Mary continued to the bed. Ade'ta lay as she had the last time, half her body gone. The Second Officer had been caught in the release of plasma from a vent and even as tough as she was, she would never walk again. Klingon warriors only had one response for such. Ade'ta could not speak, but her sole eye tracked Mary as the Captain stepped to the bedside and laid the knife's hilt in the broken Klingon's sole remaining hand. Mary met the Klingon's eye and waited. Ade'ta's burnt face creased in a small, sad smile as she took hold of the knife and in one convulsive movement, buried it in her own chest. Even as the click sounded and the hidden blades within the D'k tahg sliced deep, ending the scarred woman's life, Mary stepped close, taking hold of the dying warrior's head and looking into her eye. As life finally gave up and fled its corporeal form, Mary threw back her head and howled. An ancient ritual of warning. Warning the dead that a Klingon warrior was coming.
Mary stepped back, drew the dagger from the dead female's body and then stabbed again as something forced its way out of the Klingon warrior's mouth. The neural parasite gave a screech and fell, bisected. Mary glared at it until it vanished in puff of evil energy. Only then did she wipe the dagger on her sleeve. When she spoke, it was calm and clear with none of the sadness she felt.
"Any who dare bar your way to Sto'Vo'Kor had better beware, Second Officer Ade'ta of the House of Kirk. If you don't destroy them, I will. Your honor is restored."
With that, she sheathed the dagger, hung it at her own hip and left the room.