It only took a year, but I finally got this chapter off of my chest. I'm sorry for the wait! My writing style has changed somewhat, so it's not quite as spazzy as before, but I think I've thought up enough new plot twists that wouldn't have otherwise come about to make up for the lack of spaz. I am working on the next few chapters now (during Health, American History, and Math, which have got to be the most tedious classes in existence) and unless I get waylaid by new episodes of Prince of Tennis, dragged off to my friend's cave to produce plotbabies, or sucked into another series. In case of the emergency these occurrences guarantee, please click the little gray button at the bottom of the page and give me a metaphysical butt-kicking. Thanks!
The previous three chapters have been revised, so please read them again (it's probably been a while since you've read it anyway.)
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Labyrinth, but I have to make do with my friend's copy, since I can't properly worship Jareth's crotch in the presence of my mother.
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"Would you hentais GET OFF!"
I was currently suspended above a large gaping pit by a few dozen hands, which, despite having saved me from going SPLAT, were taking advantage of my unfortunate predicament. I know the Japanese have a fetish for tentacle monsters, (as you will note if you ever watch an ecchi flick or a live-action power ranger type movie) but it seemed as if Jareth was forsaking the conventional tentacles and going for hands.
I swear one of them groped me.
"As fun as it is hanging here and trying to find a manga reference for you guys, I've got to go rescue my card, so if you don't mind . . ." I trailed off, wondering if they could hear . . . or even see me.
"Well, which way do you want to go?" a group of hands came together in the semblance of a face.
"Woah . . . weird." I stared, and then realized that he/she/it/cheese had asked a question. "Wait, what?"
"Up or down?" another face asked, this one's voice a pitch higher.
"Up please?' I wibbled plaintively, trying out my new patented, copyrighted, all rights reserved "Blinku Blinku" look with the accessorizing "Shojo Sorrow" (Both available from Raven Zaibatsu for the low monthly cost of ¥3000! (tax included, Orico accepted)).
The hands gave what appeared to be a sigh, then slowly started lifting me back up out of the hole until I could jump out by myself. I scrambled up the side as quickly as humanly possible in a skirt, but not before I received one last grope and a few fingers slipping something in my pocket. When I pulled out the note, it had a picture of a hand and a phone number involving letters and what appeared to be the sounds of colors.
After I got over the shock of "Ewww, ewww, gross, a hand asked me out," I looked over yet another new set of surroundings.
Somewhow, whatever location I was expecting had turned into a dark cave, and I had to stumble through the pitch black, despite the rule that all heroines must be able to see where they're going (Unless, of course, it's a guy manga, but then the heroine is actually only the love interest put there for comic relief and boob grabs, so it's not really imperative that she anything beside the face of the mind-numbingly dumb hero, and what clothes she wears).
"Is this even a maze anymore?" I grumbled to myself, only managing to keep standing and walk by feeling my way along the wall. "Damn, this is almost as bad as when Cardcaptor Sakura fought the Dark card in volume five. At least I've got something to touch."
"The wall suddenly disappeared, as if it was mocking me.
" . . . I stand corrected."
I took a few more hesitant steps forward, muttering about stupid literal anthropomorphic mazes and mulleted goblins. Then, like any other clumsy, bumbling shojo character, I tripped and fell down yet another hole.
Fortunately, I landed on something that broke my fall rather well, if not swearing more than a ticked off yakuza.
"Would you GET THE HELL OFFA ME!"
"Gomenasai!" I quickly backed off whoever was underneath me, bowing in apology.
"That hurt!" the person moved from where I had flattened him, rubbing his head in annoyance . . . and probably pain.
"Sumimasen!" I piled my voice high with all the sincerity and "be nice to me, I'm the main character" I could muster.
The figure paused. "Anime?" he asked, cocking his head.
"And manga. Otaku."
"Gamer."
A silence fell as far across the cave as was possible. It was kinda cramped in there for it to fall very far.
"So we're in the same boat then?"
"Looks like."
" . . ."
"I'm Raven."
"Skye."
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"Who is that?" Titania's manicured fingernails rapped the balcony rail absently as she viewed Raven via pixie-cam (free of charge, of course)
"Another quester. He entered the Labyrinth when Raven was watching whatever cartoon that was with the worms, but got stuck in an oubliette within the first hour." Jareth frowned. "I could have sworn that there were no oubliettes in that part of the Labyrinth. Strange that she should have fallen in one."
"Perhaps you are not quite the master of the Labyrinth yet," Titania mused, ignoring the sudden blaze of anger in Jareth's eyes. "This changes the odds quite a bit, don't you agree?"
"Indeed." Jareth recovered from the insult and regained his usual conceited expression. "I believe that it is time for me to pay a visit to the Labyrinth and see her progress myself."
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Anime Lexicon:
Hentai: Literally, pervert.
Tentacle monster: Hmm, what's a way to explain this while keeping the rating down? Okay, when a monster with tentacles and a young girl are very horny, they get together and most of the girl's clothes get ripped off. That's about as clean as you're gonna get.
Ecchi: Perverted, porno, eww eww gross get it away, etc.
Live-action-power rangers type: The tentacle monsters have a tendency of popping up in TV shows, anime and manga that are not hentai as well, but nothing happens, just the hero getting temporarily tied up in the tentacles. The live action Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon is my favorite example of this, since at least once (or twice) every five episodes, there's some form of tentacles.
"Blinku Blinku" and "Shojo Sorrow: Many shojo heroines have a "don't kick the cute puppy look" combined with some blinking that renders all bishonen in a thirty-mile radius unable to think straight.
Zaibatsu: A group of powerful, influential families that rose quickly through the ranks after WWII. Mitsubishi and Honda are prime examples of families still existent today, selling cars.
Tax included, Orico accepted: The Japanese actually factor taxes into their products, which saves a lot of hassle and wondering if you've got the correct change. Orico is a type of Japanese credit card somewhat akin to a Visa.
Heroines must see where they're going: Except in some genres, usually despite being in a dark cave/street/house/wheel of cheese, most heroines can see what they're doing (though they might stub a toe or two, just to keep the reader's anxiety high).
Heroine is only the love interest: Most shonen (boy) manga will not focus on the girl, using her only as an extra.
Boob grabs: Hero is stuck in situation with girl, wants to talk to her, blah blah blah, trips/is pushed/falls, is saved from the hard floor only by her substantially large boobs. Ken Akamatsu of "Love Hina" is particularly well known for this stunt, having subjected his characters to it at least once a volume.
Cardcaptor Sakura/Dark card: The Dark card took over for a while and when she was trying to find her way out of the darkness, there was nothing to touch. Fortunately, a magical plot point was revealed and everything turned out hunky-dory.
Clumsy, bumbling shojo character: Sadly enough, most manga-ka (authors) will make the heroine a complete klutz. Prime example: Sailor Moon.
Yakuza: Japanese mafia
Gomenasai/Sumimasen: "I'm really sorry" in Japanese.
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Thanks to Aeolus the Soul Hunter for giving me a poke to finish this fic!
Reviews will be squealed over, flames used for firestarters.