Summary: Olivia thinks about what Lena Hess said. Does Noah really need a positive male role model in his life? Who could it be?
AN: After the conversations between Olivia and Lena Hess about the evil nature of men, all I could think was that Olivia knows that Elliot is a good man and wants him in Noah's life. It was going to be a one-shot, but then I thought that this could be a good vehicle for Olivia and Elliot to get closer again.
Updates will be sporadic as I don't have as much time to write recently. But I'm excited about this one. I hope people are interested.
As always, no beta so please be kind about minor issues.
And feel free to comment if there is something really want to see. I have an outline that I'm working off of, but I'm always willing to consider new ideas.
She sat back on her couch, sipping her regular red from stemless glass and flipping through the streaming apps on her television. Nothing looked good. She huffs knowing that pays as much for streaming apps to get all the shows that Noah just has to watch as what she used to pay for cable. It happens to everything, she guesses. But at least she isn't subjected to near as many commercials. Take the small wins, she thinks before starting some holiday romcom. It's barely November but the Hallmark-esque holiday movies are already popping up and a small part of her really loved them.
Her apartment is quiet. Noah is asleep in his room. No longer a nursery or room of a toddler, but of a kid. And when she tucks him in, and he fights against kisses and snuggles and bedtime stories, she's reminded that he's almost in the double digits. Soon he'll be a teenager and forced to navigate such a cruel world.
At that thought, Olivia's mind travels back to her conversations with Lena Hess this past week.
Lena wasn't wrong per se. Men, mean, cold, and violent men, comprise the vast majority of the criminals she deals with and has dealt with for over twenty years. These men use their power and physical strength to hurt others, mostly women, but not always.
Olivia wonders how many of those men were raised without a positive male role model in their lives. How many of them were raised in poverty, by single mothers, with only violent and toxically masucline men in the media or on the street as their main influence?
Noah is different, right? He has good men in his life, right? Am I really enough for him? She wonders.
He spends quite a bit of time with Sonny and Fin. They are good men. They are smart, kind, patient men. But they aren't really role models for him. Fin has his own life; Phoebe, his son and grandson. Noah isn't Fin's responsibility. Same with Sonny. Although he treats Noah so well when he visits, Sonny is Amanda's partner and de facto father to Billie and Jesse. Which is perfect, honestly. Amanda and Sonny are so good together, she thinks with a smile as she takes another sip of her wine and watches as a woman kisses her currently suited up fiance on the screen. See ya buddy, she's about to find her true love in a down-home, flannel wearing blue, blue collar man, Olivia chuckles at the predictability of these movies before her thoughts return to her own son.
Growing up Noah spent time with Ed and Peter. Both men had different roles in her life, but they treated Noah with kindness and truly enjoyed spending time with him. But Ed left when Noah was very young, she's not even sure if Noah really remembers him. And Peter, as devastated as Noah was when he left, has been gone for years and she doesn't think that Noah really misses his baseball practices with him any more.
In reality, Noah doesn't have a dedicated male role model in his life right now. No one to really turn to about the struggles young men are going to face in the world. She knows that she is a good mother and that she can answer most of his questions, guide him, and love him through anything. But Noah deserves more.
Olivia knows that more than anyone. She lived her life without a positive male influence. It was just her and her mother. Life was difficult and rough, painful even. She doesn't know if she'd really have done much different in her teen years had she had a big brother or father around. So much of her trauma was due to her mother's alcoholism and abuse. But she turned to bad men for love and acceptance when she shouldn't have to fill that hole in her life. She doesn't want Noah to do that as well.
Olivia's life was devoid of good men for so long. That was until she started SVU. John, Fin, and Don, they were all good men. But Elliot, he was the best man in her life. He viewed her as his equal, treated her with kindness and respect. And beyond that, he was smart, thoughtful, passionate, loyal, and strong. He had his faults, but he recognized them and that made him more human in her eyes. Elliot was a good man—is a good man.
She'd missed him for so long. He's back now, but she's kept him at an arm's length since he showed up without warning and explanation. And she's not sure how to incorporate him into her life.
She and Dr. Lindstrom have talked ad nauseam all summer about her idealized relationship with him in the past and how it had carried over like a ghost in his absence. But now that he's here, she's needed help really sorting through what she wants from him, from them. And sitting here tonight, she's not 100% sure how it would work. But she knows that she wants more of him in her life, and maybe, he should really be in Noah's life too.
Swallowing the last bit of wine in her glass, she grabs her phone, pulls up his contact, and types a message, sending it before she could chicken out.
Hey my friend Elliot, I think it's about time that we all got lunch. Noah has a favorite cafe that he likes to go to on the weekends after his dance practice. If you are free Saturday, around 1, we'd like it if you would join us.
She thinks he's probably asleep since it's after 11:00 pm on a Tuesday, but she's wrong. Before she can even reach the kitchen to rinse out her glass, her phone buzzes with his reply.
Send the name of the cafe and I'll be there
Then a few seconds later, her phone buzzes again.
I can't wait to see you and Noah this weekend
She smiles and heads to bed.