Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or Miss Congeniality, but you know that already…

Beauty of the Military

Ch. 2: An Odd Mission

Hours later, Colonel Mustang called a meeting for his team to discuss the Tornado case.

"Are you sure about this information?" Roy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm positive." Falman replied stoically.

Riza then bounded up to the pair.

"I figured it out, the riddle! It's the Annual Beauty Pageant!" she exclaimed.
They all headed to the conference room, as Roy tried not to stare at Riza for her seemingly ridiculous theory.

"So, what have we got?" Roy asked, sitting at the head of the table, and laying his elbow on the table, and his head in his hand.

"The annual Beauty Pageant, this year, held at Lior." Lt. Furey said, holding up a pale flyer.

"Yeah, and all the people there, Tornado is sure to strike…" Falman said.

"Yeah, and we only have forty-eight hours." Roy huffed, utterly frustrated, "Okay gentlemen, where do we start?"

Everyone look around, clueless.

Riza then spoke up,

"You might want to contact the reporters, and supervisors, in a meeting. They're help might be needed later on." She suggested casually.

Roy nodded,

"Nice idea Hawkeye. Let's do that." He said.

Riza smiled lightly at the thank-you.

"Well, what about other troops?" a man asked.

"Well, troops aren't gonna help us, since there are areas, that they wouldn't be allowed. Only models, and people like that are allowed to enter." Riza said.

Roy then stood up, as if having a revelation.

"Yeah, I see what you're going for! Undercover…" he said smirking, "And I have just the girl for the job."

They then grabbed an album of Military officers from their sector, and headed into another room.

Roy looked through several pictures, and pointed at a skinny, pale, brunette female, with light, green eyes.

"There we go!" he said, enthusiastically.

Riza looked at the picture, and rolled her eyes.

"He never changes, does he?" she thought.

Maes Hughes, then emerged, several different cut-out outfits in his hands.

"These are from my lovely, smart, wonderful daughter." He said beaming, and laying them on the table.

They put a bright orange dress, over the outfit the outfit the officer was wearing in the picture.

"See, what'd I tell you?" Roy asked, receiving nods of agreement from the others.

Riza looked at the album.

"There's only one problem…" she stated.

"What's that?" Roy asked.

"Second Lieutenant Sarke is on maternity leave." She answered.

Roy sighed,

"Well, that's no good…Let's look for a different person." He said.

They looked at several people, and had a great time doing it.

"Oh man, that looks like my mother!" one officer exclaimed, in disgust.

They laughed, and tried several officers' pictures, including the Colonel.

((A/N: Sorry for those who got disturbing visuals…))

Riza laughed among with the others.

"Now, you know how I feel about miniskirts…" she said, grinning.

They then looked at the Brigadier General.

"Oh geez!" Riza said, turning away.

When she spotted the general behind her, she gasped, totally startled.

The people then scattered, as they realized that the Brigadier General was behind them.

"Uh, we were just finding an undercover agent…" Roy said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"And I'm the best we got…" the general said, his mustache twitching, " Doesn't inspire much confidence, does it Colonel?

Roy saluted,

"No, it does not, sir!" he said stiffly.

"Well, get back to work. Oh, and Hawkeye, shouldn't you be at a desk somewhere?" the general asked, walking away.

"Yes sir…" she said softly.

"What, he was standing right behind me, and you don't tell me?" Roy asked Riza angrily.

"I don't have eyes in the back of my head, sir!" she said.

"Hold on, what about Hawkeye?" Havoc suggested suddenly.

"Oh no, don't…" Riza protested.

Roy examined the picture,

"That's not bad…" Roy said, his eyes wide.

"You're gonna want to save that, because that's something you're never going to see again." She said, "Let's just get back to work."

She then walked away, changed her clothes, and headed to the gym, to do a few exercises.

"He can't be that desperate, to see me in a mini skirt!" she thought, "Who does he think he is? Well, for one thing, he's not the Furher yet."

Roy approached her,

"Come on, Lieutenant. You might have some fun doing it." Roy said persuasively.

"No way on this earth…" she argued, "I'll follow most orders you give me, but this isn't one of them."

"Why not? You're beautiful!" Roy answered.

"There's no way, I'm prancing around, like some girly singer, with a name like: Rita Flowers, in some tasteless swimsuit!" Riza said, growing slightly angry at his persistence.

"Aww, come on. It wouldn't be like that!" Roy said, "Would I do that to an important member of my team?"

"Yes, you would." Riza said, trying to ignore him, and get on with her exercises, " I'm talking to the person who wants to become Furher in order to put all female officers in mini skirts, who dates at least five times a week, and is totally useless in the rain."

"Don't be like that, please. I'll make sure the swimsuit is tasteful, I promise. Just do a few more exercise, and you'll be set." Roy said, patting her on the shoulder.

She then grabbed him in a headlock.

"Well, you know what? Is the General trying to punish me?" Riza snarled.

"Look, I had to beg him to let you do this. If it weren't for me, you'd still be at a desk doing paperwork!" Roy argued, as he was being pinned down by Riza.

"This might be a shock to you, but I've never been in a beauty pageant before! I don't even own a dress!" she exclaimed.

He then turned over, and pinned her to the ground.

"What part is supposed to shock me?" he asked, sarcastically.

They both wrestled, until they became totally tangled up in each other's grip, and were pretty much stuck. They stayed still for a few seconds, until Riza spoke up.

"Okay, hypothetically, what if I said yes, to your totally outrageous mission, would I have to do it all? The make-up, hair, and swimsuit?" she asked, shuddering at the last one.

"Yep." Roy answered, standing up, and tossing her onto the padded ground, "All of it."

Surround officers applauded as the Colonel stood in his "victory."

Riza then spun around, and knocked his feet out from under him.

"Well, where am I supposed to put my gun?" she asked, doggedly.

"You'll find out yourself. I can't help you there." Roy said, "But I'll be glad to take care of Black Hayate for you, when needed."

She sighed,

"Alright, I'll do it…" she said, annoyed and timid at the same time.