Disclaimer: I don't own anything…FMA or Ms. Congeniality… TT
Beauty of the Military
Chapter 3: Beauty is Pain
They headed to the pageant office the next morning.
"I don't know what possessed me to say yes, without you giving me a direct order…" Riza said, dreading what was to come.
"There are a lot of things that could've persuaded you. You know, a chance to see the world, college money, meeting new people, and other stuff like that." Roy said casually.
"Well, I would've joined the marines. You can get all that there." She answered.
"Well, you'll be saving a lot of people, Hawkeye." He said, as the car came to a stop.
They then entered a nearby brick building.
"Hello, we're looking for the supervisors of the beauty pageant." Roy said.
Riza put her head in her hands, trying to gain her dignified aura.
The two people looked at them from a pale, white desk, as Roy showed them his badge, and explained their purpose for coming.
"I don't think I heard you correctly." The blonde haired woman said.
"Well, I think they want to put one of their military officers in our pageant." The man answered, seeming confused himself.
"We're not aiming to win, but our agent will need to get into the top five, so they have access to all parts of the stage." Roy explained.
The woman looked at him, shocked.
"Absolutely not!" she said, in utter disbelief.
"Ms. Moonbeams, we understand how important this beauty pageant means to you, and…" Riza tried to say.
"Excuse me," Ms. Moonbeams interrupted, as she stood up slowly, "This is not a beauty pageant. This is a young women's scholarship program."
"Oh, absolutely Ms. Moonbeams. We're here to protect the girls, and your scholarship program." Roy said.
"Well, there's nothing more important to me, than the safety of my girls. Have you tried getting the reporters and such to cancel the pageant?" she asked.
"Yes, but they won't have it." Riza said.
"Hold on, if we let her in, which region is she going to be from?" the man asked innocently.
"Well, Mr. Arcos, we have a lead that one of the girls is going to drop out soon, because of a certain…incident." Roy said, with slight unease.
Mr. Arcos and Ms. Moonbeams exchanged glances.
"Well, do you have an agent in mind?" Ms. Moonbeams asked.
Riza lifted her hand,
"That would be me." She said, half-heartedly.
"Oh goodness…" Ms. Moonbeams said, "Well, call Victor Sweeny please. He will help you."
She signaled to her assistant Foku,
Riza and Roy talked to Vic on the phone, and agreed to meet him at a local restaurant two hours later.
Riza and Roy walked into the restaurant, wearing very casual clothing.
They spotted him, and went over.
"Hello Mr. Sweeny. This is First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, and I am Colonel Roy Mustang." Roy said, giving him a salute.
Riza followed him in giving Vic a salute.
((A/N: For those of you who didn't know this, Vic is the name of the vocal actor who plays Edward Elric in the American version of FMA. That is why I kept it, the same as the movie.))
"I can't believe it. I'm supposed to make a hardened soldier into an elegant lady…" Vic muttered.
"Oh, it's not that bad." Roy said, with some mocking sarcasm in his voice.
Riza looked at him, with slight annoyance.
"Well, why don't you have some lunch? It's totally on us." Roy said, "But I gotta get going. I have some inspecting to do, but why don't you two get acquainted?"
He then walked out, and left Riza and Vic standing there.
"Well, are you hungry?" Vic asked.
"Yeah." Riza replied, sitting down across from him.
"Yes…" Vic corrected, "It is always 'yes' and not 'yeah'"
Riza sighed,
"I am going to hate this…" she said, to herself, as Vic continued to rant about table manners, and other things of the sort.
When it came to eat, Riza ordered a chicken dinner, and Vic ordered an elegant steak dinner.
"Keep your elbows off the table, and sit up straight. I doubt that they starve you in the Military." Vic commented.
"What is your problem!" Riza asked, trying to keep her temper down, "Ever since I walked through those doors, you've been very…antagonistic."
Vic sighed,
"Did you know that I was one of the most sought after coach for girls in the Annual Beauty Pageant? Girls would come from all over to beg me, so I would train them ever year, and every year, they were crowned, until one year, we lost to a girl, with all her limbs replaced by auto-mail, and she was deaf. You can't beat that!" Vic said.
"Well, why didn't you have a contestant?" Riza asked curiously.
"Well, two years ago, my girl froze, and told reporters that I was crazed, and drove her near insanity. Obviously, no one would want me then." Vic said solemnly.
Riza remained silent, and finished her meal.
When both of them were finished, and their bill was paid, Riza and Vic took a walk down the street.
"You must glide, Miss Hawkeye." Vic said.
Riza let out a deep breath of dislike.
"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked.
"You must look like you're floating on a cloud. Shake your hips a bit. It's all in the buttocks." He said, "Oh, and your chin should be parallel to the ground. Here, watch me."
Vic then demonstrated his "gliding" technique, as Riza stood, in slight confusion, shock, and disturbance.
"He must be a really secure man to walk like that in public, but man, I'd love to see Roy try that." She said, snickering lightly, and going to follow after Vic.
"You're not chasing a criminal here; just calmly glide over the sidewalk." Vic said.
As they walked, he thought to himself,
"We have a lot of work to do…" he said to himself.
"Well, besides gliding, what else do I have to do?" Riza asked.
"You have to get a make-over." Vic said.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Riza pined.
"No, we will head to the spa, and get you a decent make-over." Vic stated.
When they finally headed home, Riza collapsed on her bed, as Black Hayate lay on her chest.
"I don't know why I did Roy this favor…" she said, stroking the dog's black and white colored head.
She then fell asleep peacefully, as the dog breathed peacefully.
The next day (As Vic said), they headed to a large spa.
Riza followed him, feeling totally out of place.
"Well, what are your plans here?" she asked.
"Teeth, hair, nails, feet, and many other things, that I do not wish to name right now." Vic replied.
"Well, which are we going to do first?" she asked.
"We only have a few days. We're going to do it all at once." Vic said.
They placed Riza into a dental chair, and did everything Vic named at the same time.
She winced in slight pain, as they pulled, pushed, polished, painted, waxed, filed, and so many other things, it would be impossible to name them all.
"This is worse than any military training I've had been in…" she thought.
To make things worse, Vic didn't permit Riza to eat or drink anything that could be possibly fattening.
"There you go." Vic said, handing her a piece of celery.
Roy was there, watching the whole thing, as Riza glared at him.
"No one said that it was gonna be easy." He said.
She closed her eyes, took several deep breaths, and walked away.
When she was almost done, Roy happily handed her a walkie talkie, and, a gun (which probably made her day), and a fake ID card.
"Rita Flowers?" Riza asked, reading the name off the card, and glancing up at Roy.
"I know you liked that name." Roy answered smoothly.
"Well, now I really feel like a dumb blonde…" Riza said, rolling her eyes.
((A/N: Sorry to all the blondes out there, no offense intended.))
The next morning, everyone was ready to see Riza's "Transformation" (As Roy fondly called it).
"I still can't believe she said 'yes'." Second Lieutenant Havoc (who was back on his feet) said, lighting up another cigarette, and sticking it into his mouth.
"Yeah, but she defiantly was reluctant, to say the least." Falman said.
The doors then opened, and everyone came out, including Riza.
She had her hair down, and it was gleaming. She wore a light purple outfit, and a pair of thin wire-frame glasses, as her face seemed to shine in the early sunlight.
Roy leaned on the car, to keep from fainting at her new looks.
"Whoa Lieutenant, is that you?" Roy asked, as the other officers gawked at her.
"Colonel, I'm exhausted, starved, and armed. Please, I am in no mood for your sarcasm." Riza said, as she continued walking.
"That's her. Nice work, Mr. Sweeny." Roy said, in total amazement.
Roy and the others then followed after her.
"I am good." Vic said, grinning slyly.
They then headed to the long awaited pageant.
Riza tried to hide her nervousness the best she could, but she was still feeling out of place despite her looks.
"Well, Miss Flowers, "Roy said, "I wish you the best of luck, and we'll be close by."
Vic and Riza then started into the building, only to be stopped by Ms. Moonbeams.
"Victor!" she said, greeting him with open arms and an elegant outfit.
"Let me do the talking." Vic mumbled to Riza.
Riza nodded without hesitation.
"Well, Ms. Moonbeams. It is a pleasure to see you again." He said, "And you look more radiant than ever."
Riza just stood, smiling lightly.
"Why Miss Hawkeye, I mean, Flowers, you look absolutely perfect!" Ms. Moonbeams said, "Oh, and right on time for the orientation breakfast."
Ms. Moonbeams took Riza by the arm, and escorted her onto a tram filled to the brim with other contestants.
Riza examined her surroundings timidly.
She had no idea what Roy, Vic and the others had in mind, but so far, she didn't like it.