A/N: Yay, here we go, the next part up and going. Remember to check out the 20 (underscore) Songs community on LiveJournal! (Also, thanks so much to those who have been reading these peices -- you guys are awesome!)
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Kingdom Hearts franchise -- only the games and the ideas in my head. I also do not own any of the songs by Dashboard Confessional.
Warning: This one has a little more implied sex, just to give you a fair warning. (Yay!)
Bliss
The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another
Bliss can be described with cool sand and the quiet sound of waves in the distance. It can be felt with fingers against bare skin, like the night air on heated flesh. It can be tasted in a kiss, on the lips of the person you love more than any other. It can be seen in moonlight shining over long hair, by eyes darkened with lust. It can be heard with breathy moans and the sliding of fabric as it is removed. It can be inhaled liked salty air and sweat and the slightest trace of soap still clinging to the skin. Bliss is a moonlight tryst, caught in the arms of the person you love more than any other, without anyone else ever knowing.
In the beginning, it was hard to get a minute alone together. It was such a happy surprise, their homecoming, and so everyone was all over them every minute of every day. In the beginning, they truly didn't mind, because they were just as overjoyed at being home. They could survive time apart, that was the easy thing. All they needed was to be within eyesight of each other. If their arms were to brush in passing, or their fingers to touch when they sat on the beach with the others, that tiny bit of contact was enough to sustain them for days.
They spoke their own language, words and phrases and meanings with a glance, a movement.
They were masters of pain, masters of time and control. They could last separation and they could last being together in front of others. It was hard, of course, but it was just one more of life's little tests.
They did this, endured it with smiles and cheerfulness, for one very simple reason. They were in love.
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
Of course, bliss wasn't perfection.
They had to deal with the fallout of their secret. Sand burns, sand fleas, the risk of getting sick -- it got cold out there at night. Sometimes one couldn't get away, so the other would sit out on the island for hours in the middle of the night, waiting in vain. Sometimes little touches weren't enough, and they would snap at others around them. Sometimes the suspicions would follow them so strongly that they would have to stay apart for weeks, just to be safe. Judgement and disapproval were their greatest fear.
Things were different for them now. No longer were they heroes or warriors. They weren't above the cut anymore. They were normal teenaged boys now, and with that came the normal rules. With it came the normal expectations.
Boys fall in love with girls. Girls like Kairi. And she was willing, and there, and offering of herself and her love, but she was no longer enough.
Sometimes boys fall in love with other boys. It wasn't that they were trying to, or even wanted to; it just happened. It happened because there was no one else in the world who understood one of them as the other did. It was because they had their own language. It was because they healed each other's wounds. It was because they were in love, not because they were boys or girls, but because they were people.
Others wouldn't understand, their love was something wrong and forbidden. It was for that reason that, every few nights, they would paddle their small boats from one island to another, and meet beneath the bridge, behind the wooden door. It was for that reason that only the moon and the ocean could share their secret.
So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight
Our act of defiance
We keep this secret in our blood
No papers or letters
We pass just close enough to touch
We love in secret names
We hide within our veins
The things that keep us bound to one another
Being told not to do something never stopped either of them. In fact, like little kids, when told something was off limits, they would purposely go after it. Both of them would be drunk on adrenaline and high off of the thrill of almost being caught. They would take the dares, do the stunts, and if it came, take their punishments. Maybe it wasn't heroic, the way they had lived before, but it suited them. Always competitive, always eager for a new adventure. It was in their spirits, in their hearts and natures.
That was until they were pulled away from their carefree days and pushed into a struggle for their lives. No longer were they fighting for thrills and fun, but for lives and futures. And, always, for each other. They had been thrown around, beaten, battered, separated, and then thrown together again only to fight on some more. To their way of thinking, they earned their chance at happiness. A happiness they could only achieve by being together.
They would fight against anyone who tried to keep them apart, that was not a problem. They would be proud and defiant and stay together, but if they could help it, they would keep others from knowing. Let them live on in their happy ignorance, why spoil their conceptions and joy? It was their secret, something that belonged only to Riku and Sora.
Their love was something that never needed confirmation. They didn't get each other presents on anniversaries, or exchange valentines. They didn't write each other love letters or carve their initials into the trunks of trees, or even carve them on to the wall of the secret place. No, their love needed nothing superficial to survive. It was alive in them, burning in their eyes whenever they looked at once another, assured by a passionate kiss shared in shadow.
They were bound together by the darkness of their hearts, this drowning, consuming, devouring love that was more than awkward smiles and holding hands, more than sex and blood, more than promises of forever. One would not survive without the other. They were the darkness, the other side of the light that surrounded them on their island.
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
When they were alone together on their nights of privacy, they barely spoke. It was all eager hands and mouths, heated blood and cold fingers. It was that desire to be as close to one another as they could get before their skin fused together. They wanted to be so close that they could no longer tell where Riku ended and Sora began. They wanted to be filled up by one another so completely that they would almost burst from it. Such a desire was something that kept the emptiness at bay, that feeling of being rejected and abandoned because they were no longer needed.
They were no longer heroes. No longer warriors. But, what were they now? Is it possible to go from that to nothing? Is it really possible to see what they saw, and pretend it didn't happen?
In the aftermath, exhausted and sated, they would lay in the sand, curled together, staring at the sky. Sometimes they would talk about which world they thought each star was, and sometimes they tried to guess where the castle was, and sometimes they didn't speak at all. Sometimes they just enjoyed the warmth lent by each other, the comfortable silence of the night that belonged to them alone.
When they slept, they slept together. When they woke, they woke together. Like one person. No one could tell them it was wrong, or that they couldn't do it, because then they'd do it anyway. It was in their nature.
Until the last trace and this hope
Is frozen deep inside my bones
And this broken fate has claimed me
And my memories for its own
Your name is pounding through my veins
Can't you hear how it is sung?
And I can taste you in my mouth
Before the words escape my lungs
And I'll whisper only once more...
Sometimes they'd be reckless, as boys were wont to do. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, they'd steal off to a dark corner for a moment of piece, but it was never long until they were being sought out again. Brief moments of stolen time were delights for them, a game. Every moment together gave them hope for the future, kept them going for a while longer. Their world was never changing -- the ocean, the islands, and the people -- but they were, and they had, and they would again.
Perhaps it could be futile to fight for such a feeling, to rely on such a love, but they didn't care. For too long, they had done things for the sake of everyone else, for the universe itself, it was time that they got something back. All they wanted was each other, was that so much to ask? All they wanted was to never be parted again. Even if they could only touch in passing, even if only they could steal a kiss in shadow every handful of days, it would sustain them.
Memory is the most precious thing to humans. They knew this lesson, because their memories had been taken, tampered with, and given back. It was something that they never wanted to happen again. In the times they were apart, when the memories that had chained two boys together had been broken, their lives had been hell. Promises weren't enough; it could happen again, against their will. So they enjoyed the time they had, made their vows to themselves rather than one another.
They were joined at the heart, something no one could ever put asunder. A lasting bond never to be broken by anyone or anything, not for the rest of days. Their secrets were theirs to keep, their bliss was theirs to find, and their battles would be fought together.
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance that we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we have to
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
Bliss can be described with cool sand and the quiet sound of waves in the distance. It can be a childish kiss between two little boys that becomes a precious memory treasured in their hearts for many years. It can be watching the sunset with your two best friends beside you. It can be a whispered endearment given at a moment of climax. It can be knowing that the person you love, loves you every bit as much in return.
Love isn't always between a boy and a girl, sometimes it's between two people who need only a smile to be set free.
Light and darkness, right and wrong, reason and madness, all go out the door when love is involved. In the case of Riku and Sora, it is no different.
'Cause you will be somebody's girl
And you will keep each other warm
But tonight I am feeling cold...