Chapter 3
"We aren't going to drive that truck," said Krit.
"Ok what are we going to drive?" asked Gwen.
"THAT!" yelled Neji excitedly while pointing to a Hummer.
"Ok fine just get in and let's go," said Gwen.
"Were are we going?" asked Neji happily.
"To Hell," answered Gwen
"BUT I DON'T REALLY WANT TO GO THERE!"
"THEN SHUT UP!" yelled Gwen as she spun out of the building. Then Krit opened up the portal of pink happy hippos of the alternate dimensions.
As they where driving through the rip in reality Neji kept asking, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
Gwen kept yelling, "Shut the fuck up before I kill you." This always scared Neji and Krit would give him a hug and it made him feel all better.
"I have to go to the bath room," said Krit from the back seat.
"Kiba and Naruto are making me uncomfortable," complained Neji.
"Why what are they doing?" Asked Gwen.
"You don't want to know."
Krit turned around and yelled, "OH MY GOD NARUTO PULL YOUR PANTS UP!"
Gwen slammed on the breaks and turned a round to yell at the two in the back who where frantically pulling up their pant or skirt, "GOD DAMN IT! DON"T DO THAT IN THE CAR IT'S BRAND NEW!"
This caused an awkward silence to fall with in the hummer.
"This is weird," said Gaara.
"Can't you sit in the passenger seat Gaara?" asked Gwen hopeful that he would let go of her.
"No."
"But why?"
"I love you."
"Oh God some one shoot me now," Gwen said then decided to take off again to try and get out of the portal.
When they reached the same spot they left somehow they saw cats, lots and lots of cats sitting around Gaara sand making sand castles and doing who knows what else in the sand. The group than heard from the sand, "Help meeeeee!"
"No my sand!" cried Gaara literally.
"If you let go of me you can go kill the kitties."
"But I like the kitties."
"Damn you god," one of the cats came up and started to sharpen its claws on Gaara's leg and all he said was, "I love you little kitty too," then slowly all the kitties were closing in on the hummer. One started to claw at the window others were trying to open the doors to get into the hummer.
Naruto and Kiba in the back seat screamed, "OH MY GOD!" as one started to claw through the roof and another started to drool on the window.
"WE'RE SCARED!" Neji and Krit screamed at the same time.
"MEOOOOOOW!" Gaara cried, this caused Gwen to scream in pure terror as it seemed to anger the kitties outside.
"Wait how did the first one get in?" asked Naruto. Then another came out from under the passenger seat.
"OH MY GOD THERE COMING FROM UNDER THE CAR!" screamed Kiba. With that Krit and Neji ripped up the seat to reveal a hole in the bottom of the hummer.
"SHIZA DRIVE GWEN DRIVE!" yelled Krit.
Gwen screamed bloody murder as she slammed on the gas and ran over many kittens and had to turn on the windshield wipers to see past the blood and bits and pieces of cat body parts.
Gwen slammed through some ones apartment wall and Gaara yelled out when he saw the two people sitting at the dinning table with food dripping from their mouths in shock.
"Temari, Kankuro I'm home!" yelled Gaara happily.
Every one abandoned the hummer for the apartment's living room. Every one stood in shocked silence when they looked at the hummer with its front half covered in blood and kitty part and the rest of it covered in cat claw marks from when they were trying to hold on but failed when Gwen hit them into walls or people.
"Kankuro guess what?" said Gaara.
"What?"
"I GOT A GIRLFRIEND! . . . Before you."
Kankuro stared at his younger brother and had a heart attack.
"When did I agree to this?" asked Gwen
"I was hoping you would take the hint when I handcuffed myself to you," said Gaara.
"WHAT WHEN DID YOU DO THAT!"
"During your flight of terror."
"I hate you."
"I love you too Gwen."
Gwen then started to cry.
Meanwhile Krit was poking Kankuro with a sock puppet. "Wakie wakie you need to wake up now and say hi to Miss. Foot Fungus" Krit said as she poked him with a sock puppet with a little bow on its head.
"What is that!" screamed Kankuro as he woke up.
"This be your new girl friend Miss. Foot Fungus," said Krit and with that he grabbed the sock puppet and ran into a closet.
"That is kind of sick," said Kiba
"You have no room to talk," put in Gwen, "Sicko, AND YOU'RE THE REASON GAARA IS ATTACHED TO MY WAIST!"
Kakashi popped into the room and said, "Will you please turn Sakura back to normal she keeps proposing to my tree and I can't read."
"That's your job Krit," said Gwen and she tried beating Gaara over the head with a crowbar she found in the trunk of the hummer but the crow bar only ended up breaking.
"Um why are you two dressed like that?" asked Kakashi when he saw Kiba and Naruto making out.
"RUN KIBA RUN THEY"RE ON TO US!" yelled Naruto and the two jumped out of the hole in the wall.
"Um I just asked why they were dressed like that," said Kakashi dumbfounded.
"Oh well what was it that you wanted me to do," asked Krit
"I wanted you to change Sakura back to normal she is becoming very distracting, it was kind of funny at first but now it is just annoying," Kakashi said.
"Ok fine, come on Neji," and with that Krit and Neji went to go and find Sakura.
Which wasn't that hard to find since she hadn't move at all from the spot by the tree.
"Hey Sakura!" yelled Neji.
"HOWDY. . ."
"Right shut up and hold still," and with that Krit shot her with the T.V remote.
"Today everyone we are going to learn how to cook a apple pie an. . . "
"WRONG CHANNLE!" yelled Krit and she tried another button.
"I'M READY I'M READY I'M READY!"
"Nope."
"The evidence is. . . "
"Nada."
"JERRY, JERRY, JERRY!"
"Negative."
900 channels later
"NARUTO YOU ASS HOLE."
"FINNALY!" said Krit who by this time was getting very bored.
Neji was sleeping with a snot bubble coming from his nose before Krit kicked him awake.
"We should go find Hinata!" yelled Neji and took off running to go find his cousin. Who wasn't that far away she was standing right next to him before he started to run off to find her.
"Neji! You moron she was right behind you!" yelled Krit.
"OH HINATA YOUR RIGHT HERE!" and with that he ran up and gave her a hug. "I luv you cousin!" but his reaction cause Hinata to faint.
"Nice job she is out cold." Neji grabbed her legs and threw her over his shoulder.
"What should I do with her?"
"Here" and Krit then pushed one of the buttons on the remote and made the hummer appear, "just toss her in here."
"Ok," and with that he threw her but the door wasn't open. "Oops."
Krit opened the door and Neji re threw Hinata into the hummer.
Then the group heard screaming, "OH GOD SAVE ME I AM FREE!" then they saw Gwen running away from Gaara who was right behind her attached being drug through the dirt by the handcuffs which Gwen forgot where on.
Lee popped out of nowhere and yelled, "The Bliss of Youth!"
"HOLLY SHIT WHAT IS ON THAT GUYS FACE! DID HE STAPLE LITTLE DEAD FUZZY CREATURS TO HIS FOREHEAD!"
"GET OUT OF MY WAY FUZZ BROWS!" yelled Gwen as she ran past.
"Hi Lee, Bye Lee" Gaara said while being dragged by Gwen.
"Um? Why was Gaara being dragged by that crazy girl."
"He loves her," said Neji. Krit stood staring at Lee's eye brows with bug eyes in pure horror.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" asked Lee a little scared.
Krit slowly brought up a razor, "MUST SHAVE UNHOLLY EYEBROWS!"
"OH GOD GET AWAY FROM ME," screamed Lee as he tried to run away, but was knocked down by Gwen as she reran past and tripped over a rock taking out Lee but in the process Gaara reattached himself to Gwen's waist
"Oh merciless god why have you done this to me WHYYYYYY?" Gwen screamed as she tried to drag herself a way from Gaara.
"Yah now Lee is going to stay with us but first I must take care of your unholy eyebrows," Neji said happily as he ran up to Lee pulled out a razor and ripped not only his eyebrows but several layers of skin with them. "WOOT THE UNHOOLY EYEBROWS ARE GOOONE," and with that Neji happily stuck two smiley band aids to Lee's forehead ware his eyebrows one were then he happily hopped back to Krit's side.
"ON WE GO TO THE CARNIVAL!" yelled Krit and threw Gwen into the driver seat. And Neji jumped into the back seat with Lee under his armpit. Krit jumped in next to him and smiled evilly at him. Gwen slammed on the gas even though they were in park. When Gwen realized this she threw it in reverse sending Krit flying into the windshield. Then Gwen realized that was the wrong way and slammed it into drive sending Krit flying into the back windshield where she slid down it and saw Chouji eating B. B. Q. chips.
"HEY FAT MAN!"
Chouji was about to yell and be mad at Krit for calling him fat but than realized what Krit looked like she was a bloody mess to put it mildly.
"I FOUND CHIPS!" yelled Krit as she grabbed the bag from Chouji and went and sat up next to Neji and Lee. Chouji followed but was greeted by a very frightening sight. Neji was sitting next to Krit and rocking back and forth smiling every now and then giggling to himself about coffee and pokie. Then he saw what Lee looked like he had two Smile band aids ware eyebrows once were and they were leaking blood he looked like he was going to soil himself. Then up front Gaara was cling to another crazed girl driving.
"Krit open the GOD DAMN PORTAL! I'm just going in circles now," yelled Gwen.
"OKEY-DOE-KEY!" yelled Neji as he opened the portal the T.V. remote that he stole from Krit.
"BULL FUCKING SHIT!" yelled Krit as she tackled Neji for the remote. "It's my job mine, mine, mine!" Then they both pushed a button once again opening a rip in reality. Only this time instead of it being pink with a bunch of floating hippos it was blood red with many clowns severed head laughing at them.
"Whatever, we're going," said Gwen still in a very bad mood.
"Noooooooo this place is scary!" screamed Krit and Neji
"Oh god I am going to die here, I going to die I am never going to be a real ninja, MY CORPSE WILL NEVER BE FOUND IN THIS EVIL PLACE." It didn't seem that Lee was going to stop anytime soon and this really pissed Gwen off.
"That's it I am going to pull over and boot your ass out of this car if you don't SHUT THE HELL UP!" yelled Gwen
"Grrrrrr," Gaara growled at Lee for making Gwen mad but soon forgot and continued to cuddle her.
"And you, I need space get your ass in the other seat or I will choke you to death!" Gwen yelled at Gaara. He was very sad but slowly let go and sat in the other seat but he was still handcuffed to her so he was still happy.
Gwen gave a sigh of relief and speed through the portal quickly.