Chapter 5

When the group exited the portal they dived right into a pond in the leaf village.

"Well this sucks," said Hinata.

Every one swam towards the shore of the pond other than Chouji he kind of just floated over to the edge with his farts to power him over.

"He's just like a motor boat," said Neji

"Wow your right," said Krit also a little disturbed.

"Are those dead fish floating behind him?" said Lee.

"Yes, yes they are," Gwen said while staring to cover her nose.

"EWWWWWWWWW!" Krit and Neji said.

Soon Chouji had putted his way to the shore. He seemed happy with himself for some reason. Then he noticed everyone staring at him.

"What?" asked Chouji

"Ok that's it I going I am leaving I am not going to talk to anyone ever again I AM GOING TO BE A FUCKING MUTE FROM NOW ON!" said Lee

"You mean right this second?" asked Neji.

"YES!" yelled Lee

"You just talked," said Neji as he smiled at Lee

"FUCK YOU NEJI FUCK YOU WITH A FUKING TORTALLNIE!" and with that Lee stormed off.

"Ewwww, why would he, how would he. . .I don't wana know," said Neji with a shudder as silence fell over everyone.

"Well shall we go and taint a few other people?" asked Gwen.

"Sure why not," said Krit

They headed back into the town to go and find someone else to taint. One the way they saw many, many bugs. They were every ware they were coming out of the trees, out of the holes in the dirt and out from under rocks.

"OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK!" screamed Gwen and she jumped onto Gaara's back screaming "SAVE ME SAVE ME SAVE ME!" this made Gaara very happy but it threw him off balance and he fell, so he and Gwen fell into a pit of BUGGYS. There was a strange silence in the air.

"Stand back," said Krit as she ushered the rest of the group back.

"FUCK YOU TO HELL BUGS OF SHIT AND POO!" yelled Gwen as a giant explosion erupted from the hole they were in. After the fire settled they went over to the hole there were no bugs just Gwen and Gaara covered in ashes but other than that just fine.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BUGS!" yelled a boy completely covered in them. Gwen's eye twitch but other than that she didn't move.

"Sorry Shino they were attacking us," said Neji.

"Fine but you didn't have to completely TOAST them they are my friends." At this Gwen just started to twitch in general.

"What is wrong with her?" Shino asked.

"She doesn't like bugs," Gaara informed him as he pat Gwen on the head.

"WINER!" yelled Hinata this made Gwen snap back to herself, and she would have kicked her ass but was held back by Gaara.

"Ummm who are you?" Shino asked

"IT'S ME HINATA YOU ASS WIPE DON'T YOU RECONISE ME!" she yelled while she swung the pipe around.

"Ummm sorry Hinata, no I didn't recognize you and I am sorry stop swinging that thing around . . . Please," Shino said as he dodged the metal pipe.

"Your going to come with us now aren't you, yes you are we will make you like us yes we will yep, yep, yep," Neji said this a he rocked back and forth on his feet smiling like a psychotic killer. This made Shino very nervous seeing as last time he checked Neji didn't smile like that or really smile at all; but seeing as he really didn't have to much of a choice seeing as he was being lead away with these crazies.

"Hey food!" yelled Chouji when he saw Shikamaru eating his lunch under a tree.

"Well I guess you can have it Chouji seeing as you have already eaten most of,"

"YAH ANOTHER NEW FRIEND!" yelled Krit.

"Oh joy we get a lazy ass bastard," said Gwen who was in a bad mood from bug boy being so closed to her, but Gaara didn't mind because the closer Shino was the more Gwen hugged him.

"Why should I be your friend I don't even know you and I can already tell you're crazy get away from me will you," Shikamaru said as he resumed staring at the clouds.

"NO YOU ARE COMING WITH US!" yelled Neji as he picked up Shikamaru threw him over his shoulder and started walking away with him.

"What the hell! Neji put me down what is wrong with you!"

"Nothing is wrong with me I just got some coffee," said Neji as he popped a coffee bean in his mouth as if it were candy.

"Neji I have an idea on how to make sure that he comes with us but you don't have to carry him," said Krit. Neji put him down then Krit put a leash on him, "There we go he is going to be a good boy and stay with us ok." Shikamaru's eye started to twitch.

"I always knew that you were a bitch," Gaara said looking at the leash that Krit had put on Shikamaru.

"I think that it is a rather nice accessory for him but it seems it would better fit Kiba," put in Shino

"Don't bring up that transvestite!" yelled Gwen. This confused Shino when did Kiba become a transvestite? What have I been missing when I was in the woods today? he let the thoughts go for now as he followed Gwen, Gaara, Neji, Krit, and Shikamaru leaving Chouji to eat and Hinata to sit there and cuss at him for being a fat bastard.

In town they ran into none other than Ino.

"Hey Shikamaru what is with the leash, you finally accept that you're a bitch?" Ino joked at Shikamaru.

"WOOOH WE FOUND ANOTHER FRIEND!" shouted Krit.

". . . What?" asked Ino.

"You are, are new friend Ino BE HONORED!" yelled Neji.

"HEY EVERYONE GUESS WHAT!" everyone turned to see Naruto and Kiba waving at them. Kiba still wearing a skirt. Wow I guess he really has become a transvestite thought Shino. Ino just stood there in stunned silence.

". . . Ummm what?" asked Gaara cautiously.

"I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY!" yelled Kiba. Gaara and Gwen just fainted, Shikamaru looked as if he might throw up, Ino and Shino looked as if they were trying to figure out what he had really said.

"HOW THE FUCK IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!" Krit yelled as Neji went over and started to poke Kiba in the stomach.

"You're a fucking guy you CAN'T have babies it is against the laws of nature what the hell are you that gives you the ability to bare a child even thought you are obviously a male!" Krit shouted at Kiba

"It is a miracle of nature," Kiba said happily.

"TRY FUCKING FREAK OF NATURE!" yelled Krit

"Hey Kiba?"

"Ummm yah Neji?"

"How are you going to have this baby? You may be pregnant but you still don't have the right anatomy to bare a child in fact if you tried you would probably explode." said Neji still poking Kiba in the stomach. The look of pure horror on Kiba's face was priceless.

"NARUTO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!" Kiba yelled at Naruto.

"Umm C-section," with that Kiba ran off and Naruto followed after him.

"That was scary," Ino said

"I agree" put in Shikamaru

"Hey Gwen, Gaara wake up we have to go now!" Krit yelled as she threw a bucket of water onto Gwen and Gaara. They soon woke up Gwen being a little pissed off from having a bucket of water throw on her.

"How are we going to get back we don't have a car?" Gaara asked.

"I guess we will have to walk," Krit said as she opened a portal.