Chapter 7

"Sweet an armored truck!" Squealed Krit as she stuck to the side of it like a frog. Gwen stared at Neji as he licked the side of the truck, apparently hoping that it would be made of something edible.

"This thing is defiantly NOT sweet I know I just tasted it," Neji said rather sad that truck wasn't sweet.

"Get in the truck you money on crack," said Gwen as she threw Neji in the truck screaming, "What the hell is money of crack?" Everyone soon got into the truck not wanting to face the wrath of Gwen

"Krit open the portal so we can get out of here before the cops find us," Gwen said as she started the truck up.

"Why should we worry about that?" Krit asked.

"Everyone in the car is wanted by the FBI and every other top secret nation on the planet, but they don't know what me and Gaara look like. You morons however went thought the middle of a city on a fire truck and lit everything on fire, they know what you look like and there are wanted posters every ware," Gwen stated bluntly.

"Oh ok then I guess we could leave," and so Krit open the portal of pink and purple happy hippos once more.

"So you are taking us back to ware we belong right?" asked Ino.

"That was the plan, were going to take you and Shino back," said Krit.

"What about me Neji and Gaara?" asked Shikamaru.

"For one Gaara is attached to Gwen kind of, and do you really want Neji back with you?"

"Ok then what about me?"

"Your going to stay with me!" Krit said excitedly.

" What why can't I go back with Ino and Shino?" yelled Shikamaru.

"You belong to me now," Krit said tugging on the leash, "and you have been bad for speaking out of turn," and with that Krit pulled the remote out and pushed a little blue button. Then all of a sudden Shikamaru's body jerked and he started to scream and go into a seizer. Krit let up on the button, "You going to talk back again?" Shikamaru couldn't say anything his body was still twitching.

"What did you just do to him?" Ino scream rather scared.

"I put a discipline chip on his nervous system, Neji has one to," Krit said happily.

"I think you need to turn it down Krit Shikamaru is twitching and drooling on himself," said Gwen

"That is going to happen every know and then he will be able to walk by the time we reach the end of the portal and then in another hour he will be able to think for himself again," Krit said still pleased with herself. Shino and Ino felt bad for Shikamaru but were glad that Krit had not taken a liking to them because they didn't want a chip in there heads.

When they were finally out of the portal Shikamaru was walking but it didn't look like anything was going on inside his head. Ino tried to make him wake up but all that happened was that he drooled on her. This made Ino and Shino both leave because they knew that they couldn't save him for he was lost to Krit.

"Orange Soda!"

"What the," Gwen looked up to see Sasuke running down to them.

"Give me soda," Sasuke demanded as his eye twitched.

Gwen slowly backed away from the crazy person standing in front of them she thought about running him over with the armored truck but he jumped on to it so it was pretty much useless.

"Just let him in," said Gaara.

"No he is going to kidnap me!" Gwen said quickly.

"What!" Gaara growled.

However Sasuke had seen something on top of the truck and had jumped up there.

"Come on Sasuke get into the truck," Neji said waving a can of orange soda and then threw into the back of the truck.

"YOU LET HIM IN HERE AND I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Gwen screamed outraged.

"don't worry he will be good I promise," said Krit as she let Sasuke sit by her and gave him a can of soda and pat him on the head.

Than a large hole was right above Sasuke's head they all looked to see Gwen with a shot gun in her hand pointed at Sasuke.

"Where did you get that?" asked Neji with wide eyes.

"Don't ask." hissed Gwen as she took aim again.

"Why does my ass hurt." Neji said as he rubbed it.

Every one looked at Neji than at Gwen and she said again, "I told you not to ask."

"Why are you hiding weaponry in my friends ass?" asked Krit.

"Wasn't me."

"Then who did?"

"Gaara did it."

"It was hard trying to cram everything in there," this made Neji uncomfortable in more ways than one. Neji then pulled ammo out of his butt.

"Ewww you people are sick why would you do that?" Neji said as he started to cry. Krit gave him a hug and yelled, "Why don't you put things in your own ass Gaara?"

"There is no more room up there," Gaara complained.

"Well then put things in Gwen's ass!"

"There is no more room there either,"

"What when did this happen!" Gwen yelled at Gaara.

"During stuff," Gaara said quietly. Sasuke was fascinated with Neji's ass.

"Why are you staring at my ass like that it is making me uncomfortable," complained Neji. With that Sasuke jumped on Neji and pulled a bottle of Orange soda out of his arse.

"Hee, hee mine, mine, mine," said Sasuke as he went back to were he was. Everyone was in stunned silence.

"I feel so violated right now," Neji said with is eye twitching slightly.

"Is there anything else up Neji's butt that we should know about?" asked Krit clearing becoming really pissed off.

"Ummm nope that was it," Gaara said nervously.

"Anyone else?" Krit said even more ticked off then before.

"The only other one was Shino and I think I still left that can of cheese up there. Wow he is going to have one hell of a surprise when he goes to the bathroom."

Gwen forgetting about Sasuke at the moment with Neji curled up in Krit's lap clearing traumatized and Krit glaring at Gaara. Sasuke was just sitting in the seat drinking soda and Shikamaru was still having no real brain activity.

"Lets just go," said Gwen still disturbed by what Gaara had said and apparently done. So they got out of the truck and walked to town to go and find any one that they had not yet tainted.

The next person that the group saw was Sakura yes she had been turned into a redneck hillbilly but she was not tainted in the way the others had been tainted.

Sakura was looking at a bug that had a small white jacket on and was holding a staff yelling in a tiny voice, "I am God Shino!"

Gwen just spit on the bug causing it to drown, "Damn bugs." she said irritated.

Neji jumped on to Sakura's back shouting excitedly, "ANOTHER FRIEND CAN I KEEP HER!"

"Yes." said Krit, "What ever just don't let it go on the carpet."

"Yeah a new pet." cried Neji and about squeezed the life out of Sakura.

"Neji stop, I can't breath, let go," gasped Sakura her eyes bugging out slightly.

"Come on Neji we need to find more friends than just Sakura and Sasuke," said Krit as she ushered Neji forward.

As they walked through the woods they saw Tenten training.

"Tenten you are my other new friend," and with that said Neji ran up to Tenten and gave her a hug then carried her over to where Sasuke and Sakura were standing.

"Ummm Neji what is wrong with you, your acting kind of funny," said Tenten.

"I'm so happy, what are you upset that I am for once happy in my life? YOUR SO MEAN!" with that Neji dropped Tenten and ran over to Krit.

"Ok who have we not tainted yet?" asked Krit as she comforted Neji.

"Well there is Temari, and Kankuro and I think that is it," said Gwen.

"No Kankuro is in love with a fucking puppet he is tainted enough," said Gaara. With that they went off to go and find Temari. She was still in the busted up apartment trying to patch up the wall when Gaara busted through it again.

"GOD DAMN IT GAARA!" yelled Temari, "I JUST FIXED IT."

"Sorry but we must taint you like we have everyone else," growled Krit, "just like everyone else the people we take become tainted and you are one of the last, along with Sasuke, Sakura, and Tenten."

"I think you have already tainted him," said Temari pointing to Sasuke who was chewing on a shoe.

"I didn't do that to him he just got an orange soda OD," said Krit

"Yah but you brought the soda so it is your fault," said Temari, "and you still haven't taken Kankuro away." At this time Kankuro came into the room with the sock puppet that Krit had graced him with.

"We're getting married!" said Kankuro holding up the sock puppet.

"Ok I get why you didn't take him."

"Good now lets go. . ."

"ON TO THE BAT MOBILE!" screamed Neji who was now dressed as Batman, "COME ROBIN!" Everyone looked to see Gaara dressed as Robin only he had boxers over his tights. Everyone was in shock and horror.

"OH MERCILESS GOD WHY?" cried Gwen to the sky. Neji grabbed the remote and made the bat mobile appear. Krit grabbed the remote back from Neji and helped crammed everyone into the bat mobile, then they opened the portal and went in.