As some of you may have noticed, this story now comes with a custom book cover. It was done by rogelis on DeviantArt and designed/paid for by me. Anyway, Gravity Falls is owned by Disney and Steven Universe is owned by Cartoon Network. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. Enjoy.
Chapter 6: Tambry Universe
(Later that night)
It was around 10:30 in the evening, well past the twins' bedtime, and Dipper was still wide awake. It wasn't that he wasn't tired. In fact, he wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and drift off to slumberland, but his brain simply wouldn't let him. The wheels were turning, the data was being processed, but the young mystery hunter just couldn't make sense of that one small yet incomprehensible piece of information.
Steven was Tambry's little brother.
No matter how many times he said it, either out loud or in his head, it just didn't seem real. And yet the evidence was all over social media. Her Twit-It account alone contained hundreds, if not thousands, of pics of them together.
There was one of them posing for a selfie in front of some movie poster.
Took Steven to see "Dogcopter in 3-D" today.
The plot made no sense, but the voice acting was better than I thought it'd be.
3 out of 5.
#DogcopterMovie
Then there was one of them in what he assumed was their kitchen, proudly displaying a stack of waffles covered in maple syrup, whipped cream, strawberries and, I swear I'm not kidding, popcorn.
Behold our latest culinary triumph.
#TogetherBreakfast
In another, the two of them were playfully flexing their muscles while dressed in the most ridiculous outfits Dipper had ever seen, and having grown up with Mabel, that says a lot.
Introducing the GFAWL's newest tag team sensation:
Tiger Millionaire and the Glam-Rock Macaw.
I let Steven pick the names.
#GravityFallsAmateurWrestlingLeague
One post in particular caught his attention. It was of the two supposed siblings and a much older man, presumably their father, performing together on a stage. The man was playing an electric guitar while Steven and Tambry played the drums and keyboard respectively.
Jammin' with the Fam at Ugly's' Open Mic Night.
Won 3rd Prize: a free steak dinner.
Dad almost cried.
#UglysSteakhouse
#OpenMicNight
#SomebodytoLove
Even the name on her account was a dead giveaway.
Tambry Universe
No two ways about it. Steven and Tambry were definitely brother and sister. But why did that bother him so much?
Out of all of Wendy's friends, Tambry had made the least impression on Dipper. Probably because the one time he'd met her, she'd spent nearly every second glued to her phone and barely said two words to anyone the entire night. The few times she actually spoke, she'd come off as gloomy and apathetic; you know, your basic stereotypical teenager. And yet her Twit-It account painted an entirely different picture.
The Tambry he'd met the other day had been bleak and antisocial, but the Tambry in these posts was like another person. This Tambry liked to perform on stage with her dad. This Tambry liked to wear silly costumes and wrestle with her little brother. This Tambry actually smiled. Granted, this wouldn't be the first time Dipper had gotten the wrong idea about someone because of a bad first impression, but he'd never gotten it this wrong before.
Beyond this apparent misjudgment of character, there was one other thing that was keeping the young lad up that night. Despite how he looked and behaved, it was obvious that Steven wasn't completely human. Did that mean Tambry wasn't completely human either? Had she inherited magical powers from their mother like Steven had? Did she also have a jewel embedded somewhere on her body? Had he missed an opportunity to interview a real live supernatural being simply because he found her a little standoffish? So many questions running through his brain all at once. Fortunately, Dipper was able to sum it all up in one simple sentence.
"Who are you, Tambry Universe?"
(The following day)
She woke up pretty much the same way she did every morning; to the horrible, earsplitting wail of that infernal alarm clock. Oh, how she hated that ugly electronic brick. Not just because of the awful noise it made, but mainly because the snooze button had been broken for almost two years. Meaning that if she wanted the noise to stop, she has to get up to flip that tiny, almost imperceptible switch behind the snooze button. By which point, it would be next to impossible for her to fall back asleep. Part of her wanted to just toss the stupid thing in the garbage, but another part felt it would be wrong to throw something away just for doing what it was supposed to.
Anyway, since sleeping was currently off the table, she reluctantly got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. Thankfully, her apartment, if you could call it that, wasn't very big. Really, it was more like a hotel room than anything else. Containing only the bare essentials for a girl her age; bed, nightstand, tv, kitchenette, dresser, and a small but private bathroom. The walls were painted a lovely dark purple and decorated with posters of some of her favorite bands, while the floor was done up in classic shag carpeting. All things considered, it was really quite nice; you'd never know it used to be a storage room above a carwash.
After a quick shower and the rest of her morning routine, she went over to the dresser to pick out her clothes for the day. She knew she'd be helping her Dad for most of the day, so she opted for something simple; a pair of flipflops, her old jean shorts and one of her Dad's old concert tees, the black one with the little star. Once she was dressed, she headed over to the kitchenette for a quick breakfast of frozen waffles and diet soda, before making her way downstairs.
'Oh, wait.' She thought to herself as she stopped dead in her tracks. 'I should probably do one quick post before I go dark for a few hours.'
She then pulled out her phone and snapped a cute pic of herself in her work attire before pulling up her Twit-It account.
Helping Dad today with a high-profile client.
I'd tell you who, but the customer wants it done on the Q.T.
Gonna be busy most of the day, so don't expect too many updates until noon.
#ItsaWash
And posted.
With that out of the way, Tambry Universe was ready to face the world.
At the bottom of the stairs was her Dad's office, and beyond that was the parking lot, which was where she found her beloved father; chatting it up with today's 'high-profile' client.
"Wow, you were not kidding when you said this was an emergency." Her Dad said matter-of-factly as he looked over the large, powder blue tour bus currently covered in mud and tree sap. "How'd this happen?"
"I forgot to set the parking break again." Replied the other man, her Dad's best friend / best customer, Bud Gleeful, sounding both stressed and embarrassed. "I know it's a lot, but Gideon's got a Q and A session at the mall this afternoon and you're the only person I can trust to handle this discreetly."
"Well… it's too big for the tunnel. We'll have to handwash this bad boy and that costs extra."
"I'll pay whatever it costs. I just need it done before twelve."
"There's also a small rush fee."
"Money is no object. Gideon can't arrive in a dirty bus. He, I mean, the fans would riot."
"Yes Sir, a job like this usually costs a pretty penny, and there's no guarantee we can get it finished in time." Her Dad said as he stroked his beard pensively, before turning to Mr. Gleeful and flashing him a big wholesome smile. "But since we're friends, I guess I could knock off 20% and try to shoot for 10:30."
"Greg, you're a lifesaver." The other man said gratefully as he wrapped her father in an affectionate bearhug. A moment later, he caught sight of her and flashed the young girl the biggest smile he could muster. "Well, hey there, Sunshine."
"Hey, Uncle Bud." She replied pleasantly.
"Morning, Princess." Her Dad said affectionately, upon being released from his friend's embrace.
"Morning, Dad." She responded as she began to examine the tour bus more closely. "Yeesh. Gideon's gonna have a fit when he sees this."
"He hasn't seen it yet, and with any luck he'll never find out." Bud said anxiously, tugging on his shirt collar. "Anyway, I've got some business to take care of down at the dealership, but I'll be back around 10-ish. Thanks again for doing this on such short notice. I promise I'll make it worth your while."
And once the customary goodbyes were out of the way, the Father-Daughter Carwash Team were ready to tackle their latest challenge… sort of.
"Oh boy." Her Dad said in mild exasperation as he examined the filthy vehicle. "Where the heck do we even start?"
"No idea." Tambry replied casually. "You know, he wouldn't 've cared if you'd charged him full price. Heck, he was so desperate he probably would've paid double."
"Yeah, but that's not my style. Besides, Bud came to me for help. It'd be wrong to take advantage of him."
"I know, I know. Just thinking out loud." She said as she gave the bus another onceover. "You know, there's really no wrong way to clean a bus this filthy. I think the only way to do it is to just do it."
"Right on. Let's get started over… Ah, dang it! I forgot to bring the extra bucket." The older man 'cursed', before heading over to the main building. "I'll be right back. You go ahead and start without me. Okay, Kiddo?"
"Yes, Sir." Tambry replied with a playful salute before reaching into her back pocket to pull out her trusty Hop-Man.
An old-fashioned device perhaps, but it had been a birthday present from her beloved father and he was an old-fashioned kind of guy. Within said device was a cassette labeled 'Tambry's Mix', a gift from her younger brother, which contained an assortment of all her favorite songs. While most kids grew up listening to Mother Goose or Classical Music, Tambry's lullabies and nursery rhymes had been composed by the true masters. The Philosophy Majors, Black Tortoise, Messed-Up Mother, SWAK, Jewel and the Simulacra, and of course Matriarch, fronted by the legend himself, Freddie Vulcan. However, today she was in the mood for something a little more thematically appropriate; Track 6 would do.
Click.
With a sponge in one hand and a bucket in the other, Tambry got straight to work scrubbing the side of the massive tour bus, but as the music filled her ears, the youth couldn't help but sing along.
Well, I had just got out of the county prison~
Doin' ninety days for non-support~
Tried to find me an executive position~
But no matter how smooth I talked~
They wouldn't listen to the fact that I was a genius~
The man said, "We got all that we can use"~
Now I got them steadily depressin', low down mind messin'~
Working at the car wash blues~
Before long, Tambry forgot that she was supposed to be working and started dancing to the music, using her sponge as an impromptu microphone.
Well, I should be sittin' in an air conditioned office~
In a swivel chair~
Talkin' some trash to the secretary~
Sayin', "Hey now, mama, come on over here"~
Instead, I'm stuck here rubbin' these fenders with a rag~
And walkin' home in soggy old shoes~
With them steadily depressin', low down mind messin'~
Workin' at the car wash blues~
By this point, she was really getting into it. So much so that she failed to notice that she was no longer alone.
You know someone of my ability~
Should be smokin' on a big cigar~
But 'til I get myself straight, I guess I'll just have to wait~
In my rubber suit rubbin' these cars~
Well, all I can do is a' shake my head~
You might not believe that it's true~
That workin' at this end of Niagara Falls~
Is an undiscovered Howard Hughes~
So baby, don't expect to see me~
With no double martini in any highbrow society news~
'Cause I got them steadily depressin', low down mind messin'~
Workin' at the car wash blues~
It was at this point that the instrumental portion of the song began, and without the steady stream of lyrical genius in her ears, Tambry was able to hear the world around her; specifically someone chuckling. She spun around and there, less than a few feet away, was her friend Robbie V with his phone at the ready.
"Robbie!" she explained, her cheeks red from embarrassment. "When did you get here?"
"I showed up right when you were hitting on your pretend secretary." The other teen replied teasingly. "Nice dancing by the way."
"If that video shows up online, so help me…"
"Relax, relax, this is just for me and the guys." Robbie cut her off before putting his phone away. "But I don't wanna hear any more cracks about my dancing, okay?"
"Whatever." Tambry said annoyedly. "Look, Robbie, I can't hangout right now. I'm helping my Dad today."
"I know, I saw your post, but that's not why I'm here. I just need a quick favor."
"I'm not loaning you any more money, Robbie."
"No, it's nothing like that. I just need you to sweettalk your dad a little for me."
"He's not gonna loan you any more money either. I'm pretty sure he's still mad at you for last year's Woodstick Festival."
"Why do you keep bringing that up? And anyway, I'm not here to ask for a loan. I wanna ask your dad for a job."
"Uh… You want a job?" Tambry asked disbelievingly, barely stifling a laugh.
"And just what's so funny about that?"
"Nothing. It's just, well… you do remember what happened the last time my Dad let you work here, right?"
"I was fourteen. Those were the mistakes of a boy. Today I am a man. A man who needs seventy-five bucks for a new amp and is willing to work for it."
"What happened to your old amp?"
"That's not important. What matters is that I need a new one."
"Okay, but why do you wanna work here?"
"Because your dad's probably the only cool adult in this whole town."
"True, but I don't think we can afford to hire anybody right now. Why don't you ask Thompson for a job at the Ragtime?"
"I already tried that. He said they're all staffed up."
"Oh, so it's not that you think my Dad's cool, it's just that you're desperate?"
"No, I just… Look, don't play mind-checkers with me. Are you gonna help me out or what?"
"Sigh. Fine. I'll ask him." Tambry acquiesced. "But I already know what he's gonna say."
XXX
(A few minutes later)
"No. Absolutely not." Said her father in a stern but controlled manner.
Tambry had already known this would be his answer, so she gave no reaction, save for turning around to give her friend a semi-apologetic shrug. Robbie, of course, did not take this rejection in stride.
"Oh, come on, Mr. U." the moody teen whined in a way that was just a hair above being pathetic. "Just give me a chance. Please~"
"No way." The older man replied, sticking to his guns.
"Why not?"
"Top 5 reasons. 1. You still haven't paid back the sixty bucks you owe me from last year's Woodstick Festival. 2. You're smug. 3. You're lazier than I am. 4. And this is a big one, I don't like you. Oh, and 5. The last time I let you work here, I had to give twelve people their money back."
Tambry said nothing in Robbie's defense. However, she did shoot her father a disapproving look to let him know she didn't care for how unapologetically blunt he was being.
"Sigh. Look, Robbie." The older man said in a much softer tone; having apparently gotten the message. "I'm sorry you're in a pinch, but Tambry and I have our hands full today and we don't need you… complicating things. Okay?"
"Fine. I can take a hint." Robbie answered offendedly as he began to back away from them. "I'll just find some other way to raise the cash. I don't need you or anybody else. I'm a rock. I am an island!"
The moody teen suddenly tripped over a bucket and landed on his butt; thus spoiling his dramatic exit.
"I meant to do that." Robbie said brusquely as he picked himself and then left without another word.
"Sigh. Why do you hang out with that doofus?" her Dad asked her exasperatedly.
"Because Nate and Lee always bring him." Tambry replied, half-jokingly. "Besides, he's not so bad."
"Yeah, well he's not so good either." The older man muttered before adopting a more positive attitude. "Meh, whatever. Come on, Pumpkin. We've got work to do."
"You got it, Pops." The teen girl replied warmly as she followed her father's lead.
Without any further delays, the two of them began cleaning the massive bus in earnest; pausing only for the occasional bout of father-daughter horseplay. To their collective surprise, the duo managed to finish the job a full twenty minutes ahead of schedule, for which Mr. Gleeful was immensely grateful. So grateful in fact, that he gave her Dad an almost excessively generous tip. While the two men discussed this and various other topics, Tambry decided to head up to her room to grab one of the sodas from her fridge. But as she climbed the stairs, a random thought suddenly entered her mind. The same random thought she usually had whenever she wasn't doing anything of any particular interest.
'I wonder what Steven's up to."
End Notes:
The song Tambry was singing in this chapter was "Workin' at the Carwash Blues" by Jim Croce circa 1974; currently the property of Lefrak-Moelis Records. Anyway, this chapter was a lot of fun to write and I hope you enjoyed it. With that said, thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one.
Peace.