Chapter 10

Doug walked out of the room and looked into Carol's. Susan had just walked out and Carol had her back to the door. He opened the door and walked toward Carol slowly. Softly he reached out and touched her arm, then brought her close and into a hug. "I'm sorry Carol."

Abby woke up with a start. She knew something wasn't right. It was brighter out than it should have been. She looked at the clock. It was after 11:00. 'Damn. My alarm never went off. I must have forgotten to set it when I got home last night,' She thought. She was supposed to go in at 7:00. She knew there was going to be trouble when she got to County.

Carter looked at Susan He was waiting for Abby to answer the "Sure, I join you as soon as I'm done here," He said to her in a whisper.

Doug shrugged; "Yes Ma'am" as they all got into the car and drove to carol's moms he talked to the girls all the way. once they finally got there he got out of the car and picked both of them up. he wanted to make this quick because he never got along with carol's mom...but he would try. they walked up the door and he motioned for Carol to open it. after a few 'thank you's and 'goodbye's Doug stepped outside the door and waited for Carol to finish talking and come too. he sat down on the porch swing and rocked back and forth with the winter wind. "with everything that happened today, I am lucky to have this" he thought. "lucky as hell."

Susan smiled and touched him on his shoulder. "sure just come and get me ok?" she walked out of the lounge and over to the front desk. "hey frank I am going to get some coffee in a second, we are pretty clear right?" she didn't even hear his response because then she walked over to chairs and sat down. there was almost no one there and that was how she liked it.

Carol looked at her mama, and then waved a good bye. She left the house after kissing the girls good bye, she then noticed Doug on the porch swing, and over heard him. "Lucky as hell what?" She asked him. As she sat on the porch swing with him.

Carter looked at Susan; He leaned over and looked at her. "Ok," He said to her. "I'll be there as soon as I'm done talking to Abby." He said. He waited for Abby's response.

The voice shocked Doug. he didn't hear Carol come out. "oh nothing" he said to her as he put his arm around her shoulders. they swung back and forth for a second before he broke the silence again. "I am really sorry Carol. you never deserve to be treated the way I treated you today. your much more special than that." Doug removed his arm from around her and shifted in the seat. he didn't want carol's mom to hear them talking but he also didn't want to put it off. "we have two daughters together Carol. we have known each other more years than not. Carol, I know I have done some stupid things to you but... what I really want to know is say I were to ask you to marry me sometime in the future, would you say yes, or do you think we need more time?" Doug knew in the back of his head that he was ready. if she wasn't, that was fine... but what if she never was? questions like that were ones that gave him nightmares at night.

Carol couldn't believe what she was hearing, "Doug Ross, I wouldn't of left Chicago, knowing you were my soul mate. But here you are and the truth is I been waiting for that question and we do have two beautiful daughters together. "And yes I want to marry you, but I didn't like the fact you hit me today," She said to her

"hit you? I never hit you." he turned to face her all the way. he reached to take her hand and saw the bruise he had left on her wrist. maybe he hadn't hit her, but he had sure hurt her. he softly touched the black spot on her arm. "I know I just always like to pretend that I am the stronger one. I never tell you anything that's wrong with me; I never tell you when I'm mad. I think that's what happened today." as he looked down at the stitches in his hand he realized he really didn't know why he had yelled or why he had thrown the brick. deep down he knew something was wrong, but just didn't know what. "and I want to get married too. I just think we should work all this out first. I just needed to know what you thought." he could feel himself tighten up again; it was happening more often now. he stood up and walked down the stairs, "how about a walk?"

Carol looked at him, "You know Doug, it felt like you hit me on the wrist today, but Doug before I marry you or agree to ever Marry you, I want us to be honest with each other, even if were hurting, and Right now I see you don't know what's wrong with you, and I know you hate therapy but I suggest you do that first," She said to him as she stood up as well

As they started walking down the street Doug almost laughed. "No way in hell. I love you Carol but no way in hell." He did hate that idea. They walk a little ways in silence when Doug stopped; he was looking for a way to change the subject. "Can you believe the weather? It looks wonderful today."

Carol stopped. "If you love me then prove it," She said to him. "This isn't like you Doug, so don't change on the subject, if you want to Marry me I suggest you see a therapist and if you don't , I want you out of my life, and there's some consequences, I don't want you to hurt me or the girls, "Carol said as she turned around to walk the other way. Doug was making her angry.

"So it is ok for you to just walk away right? that's great! you know what? you cant take my kids away from me, and you wont!" Doug ran over and grabbed her arm turning her whole body around and almost making her fall to the ground. in a second his hand was raised in the air in a fist. as he saw the fear and pain in her face he realized how close he came to hitting her. he dropped his fist and let her arm go. "You hear me? you wont." he turned and walked away. "I'm not seeing some damn shrink, you want me out... FINE!" Doug didn't know where he was going to go. he could feel this might be it. he didn't think anything was wrong with him. he didn't know why everyone thought there was.

Carol couldn't believe him. "See Doug, your turning into a monster, you don't want my help or anyone's else, I'm not going to let you hurt the girls," She said as she ran back to her mama's place. She hugged the girls. "Mama, I need your keys," She said. She took her keys, got the girls in the Car and drove away from Doug; She couldn't be with him unless he got help from someone. And she didn't want his daughters near him 'til he realized he needs a shrink.

Doug couldn't believe it. he saw the car pull out of her mother's house with his daughters crying inside. "how could she do this?" he thought. he headed down the street with no place to go. after stopping in many bars and getting greatly drunk, one of the bars hops finally threw him out for being disorderly. he staggered on the ground but finally got up. he had lost his jacket, his shirt was torn, and now he had a gash on his head. he didn't know where to find Carol. he walked down the street for awhile until he saw Doc Magoo's. as he walked in everyone looked at him. he walked over and sat next to Susan. "you wont believe what happed Sues, my own damn wife took away my kids!"

Susan looked at Doug when he came in. "are you ok?" she was just judging by appearance. she had never seen him look this bad. she didn't want him starting a fight here. "let me call Carter" she said as she smiled at Doug. she picked up her cell phone and dialed the number. "hey john, I need you to come over here quick, its about Doug."

Carol walked in to the ER with the girls, she wanted Doug to get help, She looked for her best friend, she knew Susan was always on her side, she still had the other bruise from where Doug hurt her, "Randi have you seen Susan," She asked. She wanted to Marry Doug, but if he was going to shape up, he would think twice about going to a therapist.

Susan only got a busy signal from Carter's phone. after she left the message asking for him to come she sat and looked at Doug. he looked awful. he had black rings under his eyes, a cut up hand, no jacket, a half torn shirt, and a cut on his head. "I know your mad Doug. I am sure everything is ok" she looked him over, he was sure acting different. "are you on any medications...or...anything else?" by his face she could tell his was pissed she made that comment. she wanted to be away from him, she didn't want him to freak out and hurt her. "ok lets go to the hospital so we can look at your head? ill call Carol, I'm sure everything will be fine." she smiled her usual smile and touched his hand. she hoped he wasn't on anything, because that's what it looked like.

Doug listened to Susan's kind words. "yeah, sure, lets go." he went just to make her happy. he liked talking to people other then Carol. sometimes he felt that she was always trying to change him. they walked across the street and into the hospital. he saw Carol at the front desk. "God Susan! is this why you wanted me to come here?" he yelled pulling away from her grip which pushed her to the floor. she hit the wall with a crash. he had whole waiting room looking at him. "nothing is wrong ok? I'm fine! you should ask Carol if she is on any medications or drugs not me! she's the one breaking up are whole damn family!" he shouted as he stormed out.