CHAPTER 11
Carol walked over to Susan in tears. "Its not Doug, Doug Ross isn't the man I fell in love with years ago, I never see him beat woman 'til now, and I just want to keep my daughters safe, but I don't want to keep them away from him. Tess ran after father and kicked him in the leg hard. "Mean daddy, you not nice I saw you hurt aunt Susie, please talk to someone daddy or you never see me," She said. She was so smart for her young age.
Susan smiled at Carol. "Don't worry, I'm fine. Right now, lets just give Doug some space. go get your daughter." Susan got up. she was fine. she didn't even think Doug meant to push her down. but she saw him keep walking while his daughter has talking to him. she knew Carol was right, this wasn't the usual Doug and there had to be a reason for it. she walked into the lounge to sit and be alone for a second. when she walked in she realized Carter was still on the phone. "Thanks John. We needed you...but I can see your busy...thanks a lot." she said as she left. she wasn't really mad at him, she was just scared. she didn't want to be around Carol or Doug right now. she just wanted to talk with her best friend. she wished she hadn't been sarcastic to him. she was just scared.
Doug kept walking when his daughter was talking. he was afraid if he stayed he might yell at her. he walked down the ambulance bay until he turned the corner. there he sat down. he didn't know what to do. he didn't want to see Carol or Susan or any other woman for that matter. he wished Mark was still here. Mark always straightened him out, he never judged him. Mark knew what a hard life he had. thinking back, this was exactly what his dad had done. pushed everyone away. Doug didn't want to be like that, he wanted to be a good father and husband. "god, Mark help. give some of your good advice brother. I need some right now."
Carol smiled at her, "I know, we are, I want to give him space, and think." She said to her
Carter waited on the phone. "Abby I call you back, I think something just happened," He said. "I have my cell with me," He told her. Carter walked out, he had heard the push and someone screaming Doug's name, He watched as Tess said mean daddy, He was going to get the bottom of this. "What the hell happened Doug, why you slam someone into the wall," He asked, He had heard about his father from time to time, but didn't want to say anything "I don't want you to yell at me, but what's on your mind, I want to be your friend, buts what are you feeling," He said to him
Doug looked up at Carter from the ground. "I didn't mean to push Susan. I hope she knows that." he moved over to give Carter room if he wanted to sit down. "Carol and I had a fight; I just brought it with me to the hospital. I'm fine." Doug looked at carter's non-believing face. "really john, I'm good." he got up and grabbed the basketball which had been out of use since Mark had left. "how bout a game?"
Susan was glad Carter had gone to talk with Doug. he was mad that the return of Carol and Doug meant all of this new drama and stress. they had enough of that as it was. she paced around looking for something to do. then she saw Carol just sitting down by herself. "how about you help me with triage? it always helps me clear my mind."
"Doug I never noticed you harming woman until now with Carol and Susan, and don't hate me, but what and why does it give you a reason to hurt her.
"I can't believe he won't think about seeing a therapist, I go see a therapist with him, but I don't want him near my daughters until he makes sure he won't hurt them," She said to her
Doug stood there holding the basketball with his mouth open looking for the words to say. "Not you too." Doug said as he rolled his eyes. "I never touched Carol...I didn't mean to make Susan fall. Why is everyone thinking this is my entire fault?" Doug said as he turned and shot the basketball.
Susan looked at Carol. "I know your mad, but right now you might just need to give him some space. people never react well when they think they are being ganged up on...come on...if you don't want to do triage how about a coffee from the roach coach on me?"
"Listen to Me Doug, I from experience know what its like not to want help, for gods sake I was stabbed, and I didn't want anyone to help me deal with the pain I was suffering, but what happened, I ended up addicted to pain killers, if no one helped me , I would of been dead today. I'm here alive cause I got help, so listen from my experience, I'm not gaining on you. I just want you to know that when you don't think you need the help the most, is when you do need the help," He said to him
I don't want to talk to anyone right now," Carol said to her.
Doug picked up the basketball as it bounced back towards him. "You sure like fixing people huh?" He stepped back and shot the ball again. "look, thanks for making all the girls feel better by talking to me...but really...I am ok. besides, I'm not addicted to anything, I just think Carol and I are growing apart." as he picked up the ball again he looked at Carter, "play you for lunch?"
Susan shrugged and walked away. not talking was fine with her. she wished Abby was here. Susan picked up her cell phone and called Abby's beeper number hoping she would come in. then she walked outside to see Doug and Carter still talking. she didn't want to say anything or over hear it but while she was buying coffee she couldn't help but hear them talk.
"You don't get it Doug, I know your not addicted to anything, but I'm trying to make a point and your not listening, Do you know Every day I think about that night what it would be like, Well I still think I killed Lucy , and no I don't think your two are falling apart, I know when you left Carol was still in love with you and so miserable, just like she is now, your both hurting, because one of you is mostly hurting but doesn't know how to handle there own problem . I didn't come out here for the girls at all, I was just trying to be a good friend and let him see the point of view he needs'' Carter looked at him; he really didn't want to play. Carter glanced over and saw Susan looking at them. But he was waiting for Doug to get the realization strait.
Doug smiled and shot the ball again. "ok, say I do have something that's bothering me. what do you want me to do? I'm not going to see Dr. Myers on the crazy floor, I just wont. I am glad your being a good friend and trying to help me out, but you wont understand. hell I'm not sure I understand! unless you have some ground breaking thing to say to me...I don't..." Doug stopped. he didn't want to tell Carter to leave and make him mad; he just didn't know how to end the conversation nicely, at least until later. "I am sure someone in the hospital needs the assistance of dr. Carter more than me." was all he could think of.
Carter looked at Doug , he couldn't believe Doug didn't listen, "Well I don't feel like I'm being a good friend if my friend isn't really listening at all, and I leave since you don't want to admit you need help, until you do don't call me ," He said angrily.
"Carter!" Doug didn't need someone else upset with him. "I don't know what you want me to say! you want me to admit I'm scared? ok I am! you want me to tell you I'm drinking way too much? well there! hell I even take pills sometimes! does that make you feel better? does knowing really make you feel any better?" Doug couldn't stand it any more. his only friend was about to walk out of his life and he couldn't let that happen. "what do you want me to tell you?" he yelled
Carter was shocked to here this revelation, "Well admitting that you drink and do pills does count as a addict, I done it, I never told anyone this, but When I realized I was hurting other people, it was the night they did a intervention on me, and I don't want that to happen to you. Yes I'm a recovering drug addict Doug, and I know its not easy, there's days I just want to still the Fentanyl and have it to myself. It's not easy to admit things at all. But I hurt Peter Benton, I hit Dr. Benton right square in the Jaw, and I would of never done that, if I wasn't on the drugs then, but I been sober for a few years now.
Doug didn't know what to say. why was Carter telling him all of this? "well good for you john." he turned and started to walk away. the last thing he needed was to hear other people's sad stories, and he was afraid if he stayed much longer that Carter would tell him he had to go to a drug therapy center. he saw Susan look down like she wasn't listening, but he knew everyone had been. "Ohhh well" he thought "there's always tomorrow."