Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts…I do own this nifty black keyboard though

(A/N): Jelz here and with her she brings a fic that is not a one-shot! And one that she plans to finish in a timely fashion...unlike Shadows, which has been sitting in a corner since last year. Anyway, shounen-ai warning and I won't lie to you…There's some in this chapter too. The reading before you actually get into the chapter is a bit long but it's important even though it may not seem to fit in right now so be patient please okay? Let's start!Oh and sorry for lack of indentation..I can't get FF to work properly..A sign I've been away for too long ne?

Remember that time we walked together, for me, the long way home? Remember how it was warm out? How we chattered of different things that didn't matter but we wanted to hear each other's voice. The picture you drew me that we both agreed was crappy, that I stuffed in my bag, seemingly not caring about it. Those feelings that day…Happiness maybe?

Remember how we walked close together? Nearly touching, nearly holding hands but not quite. The mindless chatter continuing with slight blushes and nervous laughter at slight contact of skin, of our bodies moving to brush together as though magnetized.

So shy it was ridiculous, though I was worse. You showed you feelings; wore them as plainly as you wore that ugly plaid shirt around your waist that day. And I…I hid it behind behavior not meant to confuse but explain in a way so words weren't needed. Did you understand?

I remember our goodbye, the one that reminds me of so many others we said. Clinging to each other saying we have to go but releasing each other from the embrace would mean separating so we just clung a little harder.

The beginning of the end…

Someone said, 'With every good comes bad.' With every sweet embrace, longing stare, happy laughter, hints of feeling, shy hugs, mindless chatter, for every happy moment spent together, either alone or with friends, for every promise we made each other, empty or otherwise, something that resembled pain or sadness lurked nearby.

I'm sorry (because I know some of it is my fault).

Remember the time I told you I loved you? No?

Remember the time I let you know verbally that if you ever needed anything I would be there? No?

Remember…

The point…What's the point?

You don't remember because I couldn't say the things you wanted, possibly needed to hear.

Coward…A coward who is fearless, who in your eyes does no wrong. I'm scared I'll disappoint you. That you'll realize I'm not who you think me to be, that I'm just another lost soul, not looking for their place in life, but looking for the things that make that place home.

When you remember the time we walked together and all the distant memories thereafter, this time remember then differently because I'm doing what I couldn't before, in a futile attempt to mend the broken, and adding in the simple fact that I love you.

Chapter I- And So It Begins

Blue eyes opened slowly to stare at the wall. The sun had just risen but already it had lightened the room considerably. Why couldn't she sleep though everything like Sora? Kairi hated waking up early but after years of doing so she could finally say she was used to it.

Kairi sat up slowly and let out a yawn. From her position on her bed she could see herself in the mirror out of the corner of her eye. From what she could see she looked terrible, but then again, who didn't when they just woke up? She ran a hand through her messy hair.

"Morning."

That voice sounds familiar, Kairi thought lazily. She almost responded to it but instead started to think on it. Indeed that voice belonged to one of her closest friends, Riku. Riku. She smiled a bit. He always had gorgeous looks from what she could remember. Silver hair, fair skin, and beautiful aqua colored eyes. Yeah, he was definitely something worth looking at. His voice had only added to the whole effect, but when puberty left it slightly deeper than before, well his whole appeal went up a 'couple' of notches. Not that she liked him or anything like that. She was just noticing the obvious. Speaking of noticing things, why did that sound so close?

Kairi glanced around her room and barely held back a shriek when she spotted Riku sitting in a chair in the corner of her room. Kairi rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things. When she looked back, Riku was still sitting there seemingly undisturbed and reading what appeared to be her diary. What a way to start the day…

"What the hell are you doing in here Riku?" Kairi yelled angrily.

Riku merely glanced up and cocked an eyebrow while he turned the page of the book. He shrugged. "Watching you sleep…which is boring by the way. I don't suggest it." He went back to reading her diary with an interest that was hardly feigned.

"I didn't know this happened…" Kairi heard him mumble softly.

Kairi's eyes widened before she glared at him in anger. "Get the hell out of my room!" She pushed back her covers angrily. "And stop reading my stuff!" She made an attempt to jump out of her bed, but was caught up in her covers and fell to the ground instead. Luckily for her, Riku was sitting close enough so she could barely grab the top of the book as she went down.

"Is that anyway to treat your best friend?" Riku sniffled and wiped away a fake tear.

"I'm going to tell my mother to stop letting you in here." Kairi threatened.

"Maybe you should stop leaving your window open." Riku suggested as he stood. "I'm off to find Sora." He carefully stepped over Kairi and stopped to pat her on the head before leaving through the door.

They both knew her parents wouldn't care if they saw Riku leaving their house this early when he definitely didn't come in through the door. Over the years that had become mainly Riku's, and sometimes-even Sora's, way of entering and leaving houses. Everybody was used to it.

"Damn you Riku for waking up early." Kairi yawned and rolled over.

A few minutes later she was sleeping again.

By the time Kairi was asleep Riku was at Sora's house and wishing he were somewhere else.

"Karma's a bitch." Riku grumbled unhappily as he struggled to move without waking up Sora.

Upon arriving at Sora's house, Riku climbed up the tree closest to the house and let himself into Sora's room. Sora purposely left his window open for Riku in case he ever wanted to drop by. Sora was sleeping and nothing, not dancing elephants or favorite foods, could wake Sora so Riku simply lay on the bed next to him to wait. Mistake number one. Somehow he managed to forget how Sora took over anything and everything on his bed in his sleep.

Mistake number two was the reason why he didn't like that he made mistake number one. While Sora was apparently comfortable with snuggling up to Riku, an arm and leg draped over him to firmly hold him in place, Riku wasn't and he had the blush to prove it. This happened all the time when they were younger but it was just different now. The thought of Sora waking up and seeing him blush over something so…so normal for them…utterly embarrassing.

Riku did the only thing he really could at the moment. He grabbed the phone with his free arm and called the only person who could help him in this situation.

"Hey Kairi, I kind of need your help."

He heard a groan and what sounded like a muffled 'screw you' before the line went dead. Okay, maybe he deserved that. He tried again.

"C'mon Kairi…I think he's starting to drool." He glanced down at Sora whose head was resting on his shoulder and noticed that it wasn't Sora's fault he couldn't use his right arm; it was his own fault because he was holding him. Well, at least no drool…

Kairi sighed. "Sora doesn't drool Riku. You do. We both know that. Besides, Sora'll be waking up in about five or six hours. I'm sure you can wait." She hung up so Riku did the same.

"Five or six hours." Riku whispered. Five or six hours to sit and think about Sora because thinking of something else would be difficult with him just laying all over him. Five or six hours to remember their childhood, their school years, their friendship which turned odd just last year when Riku "magically" developed a crush on his best friend, who happens to be sleeping on him. Five or six hours of pure torture.

Riku groaned.

"What's wrong?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"Okay."

By the time Riku realized that Sora had woken up briefly to question him it was too late. Content with knowing that Riku was okay Sora fell back asleep immediately, managing to slide a bit closer before doing so.

Riku's face turned a light shade of pink. He willingly sleeps this close to me?

Indeed it seemed odd to him that Sora had no problem with their current position. Maybe it was all in his head. It made sense that Sora would be comfortable with him; they were best friends.

"Maybe I'm still tired."

"I can't believe you drooled all over my pillow. Sorry, let me correct that. Poured buckets of drool all over my favorite pillow."

Riku sighed and let his wooden sword drop to the ground. "I can't believe you're still on that. It wasn't my fault. If you weren't using me as a pillow, which you happen to do every time you sleep near me, I wouldn't need your pillow."

Sora sent an angry pout in Riku's direction. "You come sleep near me."

Riku sighed. "All right. I'll give you that one. You win okay?" He went to sit on the paopu tree so he could watch the other kids on the play.

He could easily spot Wakka's bright red hair as he dueled with Selphie. Though he couldn't tell who was winning, it wouldn't surprise him if it were Selphie. Not that Wakka wasn't any good at dueling; he was tied with Tidus for third place if he had to give ranks. It was simply the fact that Selphie tended to be a bit 'over excited' when she came in contact with a jump rope during a duel. Unique choice for a weapon though, Riku thought.

Further down the beach he could see Tidus trying to teach Kairi a bit about sparring. From Riku's position, all her movements looked awkward and clumsy, but with a little practice she could probably get better. Then, if she wanted of course, Riku would train her to be on nearly the same level as he and Sora. Speaking of Sora, Riku noticed that he too had abandoned his sword on the ground next to his and was quietly sitting next to him, watching the same things he was.

"You think Tidus will be able to teach Kairi to use a sword properly?" Riku asked. Riku looked at Sora and noticed how his eyes studied all their movements before returning his gaze.

"Maybe. He's patient and all so she might have a better chance of understanding things. Why don't you ask what you really want to know?"

Sora you know me too well…Well… Almost…

Riku grinned. "All right. Will he make a better teacher than me?"

Sora smiled as he thought of all the work and effort Riku put into training him. Riku had even made him the sword he used now, though he wouldn't admit he made it for him because he was proud. No, he would rather claim that the other one was too poorly made and would break if they continued to spar with it. Riku pushed Sora very hard and always had high expectations for him and Sora liked that. Riku always gave Sora a goal to strive for and Sora had yet to disappoint him. He almost didn't mind being second best to Riku…Almost. It was rather fun trying to win against Riku even though he almost always ended up hurt in the end. But the physical wounds were nothing compared to the pride he felt knowing that Riku could spar better than anyone on the island and had choose to teach him.

"You're a great teacher Riku. A little cocky sometimes but nothing a hit to the head can't fix."

"I get cocky? Sora, you hit me once and think you're king of the world. At least I win before I claim that title."

By the time Riku realized what was happening he was already staring up at Sora from the water. Sora just stood there, hands on hips with his head held high and a smirk on his face as he watched Riku wade over to the shore. He could see that the other kids had stopped to watch as he threw Riku into the water and he waved over to them now.

"You'll regret that Sora."

Sora paid no heed to Riku's threat and gave Riku a smile that was sure to wash his anger away. The benefits of being cute, Sora thought. In truth, he really hated being cute but it had its advantages.

He watched, from his seat on the tree, as Riku took his shirt off and carefully laid it out in the sun before lying down next to it. How lucky he was that he could lie in the sun and never tan. He realized he was staring when he noticed Riku looking back at him.

He blushed and immediately tried to cover his embarrassment with a short laugh and a wave.

When did this happen?

"Kairi?" Tidus asked. He waved his hand in front of her face. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "I'm fine. Just noticing something I didn't catch before."

"Shall we continue?"

She nodded. "Sure."

Well glad that's over with…for now anyway. So…comments? Opinions? Criticism? Random flying objects? I'm hungry for some feedback Yes Yes. Nods

When I started this I had totally different plans as to what the plot was but I changed it completely as I neared the end . I wish I could just spill and tell right now but I can't cries So I better go before I accidentally let something slip… Jelz