Disclaimer: I don't' own the Teen Titans if I did well, I don't know where I'd be but I'd be filthy stinkin' rich!
A.N. All right I apologise for not updating faster but can someone please review in one way or another for better or worse my last chapter. I mean 1 review is that too much to ask of you people! grrr!
Alright I'm done now enjoy this new chapter.
My Secret Identity
My name is my own the world knows me as Beast Boy. I am the fifth member of the Teen Titans. I am known as the joker and the clown, the one who always has a joke or prank ready. Sometimes funny sometimes not quite so much. I am even fairly well known for my easy smile, boundless energy and what I think, are pretty good one liners. I am more then that though. I am more then either my teammates or the public will ever know. I have a past and a history that is my personal secret and I like to keep it that way. There are many things that no one here can ever understand and I guess that's why I will never try to explain them. I have learned that some things are simply better to be and leave it at that…
"Guy this isn't cool" I muttered and splashed my face with cold water as I continued with my reflection in the mirror. "Keep it together man we've only got twelve hours to go." In the mirror the features tightened and I gripped the cool porcelain of the sink fighting the change as my DNA struggled against the confines I had placed on it. "Deep breaths dude, deep breaths." I muttered and shoved my head in the water trying to calm the fire spiking my blood. I pulled my face out and shook the water out of my hair; to my dismay the image in the mirror had changed. The emerald tresses, which I kept cut short, had shifted as my DNA battled for freedom and reverted back to its normal form out of the half shift I held myself in. They now hung in a shag around my around my face and their texture was human and streaked through them like fresh blood as my natural hair colour. I sighed and rested my forehead against the glass, this wasn't my day. My forced self-denial was nearing an end and my on sub-conscious was in a state of mutiny.
"Come on, hold on; just a little longer. Don't want to lost the bet," I said through clenched teeth as I winced in bone deep pain as my DNA struggled again, "Come one, come on hold on." Suddenly a bong on the door to my room made me jump and turn to face it. I was in the attached bathroom in my room at I used twice a year if that. Usually you couldn't even see the door with all the junk I had piled up in my room but I'd managed to clear a trail to it. I looked now at the door of my room that I'd locked the night before right after Robin had approved my two days of leave. I was 12 hours into it and someone was at my door already. I grabbed a black toque and pulled it down covering my hair. I waited to see if whoever it was would knock again, feigning the silence of sleep. They did. I walked out of the bathroom and went up to the door, fixed a half asleep expression on my face since I wasn't usually up till noon and it was only a few hours after dawn.
"Beast Boy, wake up, we've got a situation here." Taking a deep silent breath I pinned my rebellious genes and opened the door. Cyborg was standing there in all his chromatic splendour; his usually smiling face was grave and even his red digital eye lack the usual humour.
"Dude its like 1 in the morning." I groaned raising my voice to the higher octave they all assumed it was. Cyborg sighed and I could tell he was mentally wishing I'd grow up.
"BB it's 7am you've had plenty of sleep and we've got a problem." I looked at him and let out a yawn.
"Wha(yawn)t is it? Invading space aliens, the end of the world, slade returned from the dead again?" I asked he let a smile twitch on his lips before he pulled them back into a frown. That was the problem with these guys when things got on, they tended to get focused on the moment and couldn't take a step back and look at it in perspective from the big picture. That's why no matter how many times the other insulted me or snapped at me or Raven threatened me I kept up the cheery comic relief act, simply because they needed it. A lame joke to break the tension or a prank to help put a ego back to bearable size. I couldn't be mature due to the simple fact that these guys tended to forget that they were kids. But not today, today was my chance to drop the character and be simply myself.
"Well it's an unusual mission." Cyborg said and he began to explain the new villain that had just appeared. I nodded and waited till he was finished before I dropped he atom bomb. "So what do you think man?" I looked at him for a moment then shrugged, bombs away.
"Dude have a blast and let me know how it turns out." I said and pushed the button to shut the door but Cyborg stopped it.
"What do you mean tell you about it?" he asked I gave him a blank look.
"As of like seven last night, I'm on a two day vacation. My ride doesn't get here till later so I'm having a bit of extra sleep. Nite man." I said a shut the door in Cy's stunned face locking it for god measure. Then my DNA wrestled free for a moment and I felt my entire muscle structure shift. I shrugged my shoulders testing the new strength and feel of it then I let a sigh out as I realised that the uniform was stretched nearly to its limit. I walked over to my closet and dug around through the chaos till I found my bag.
It was ancient with rips and tears that had been crudely and often callously stitched with old bits of wire and string. I had hid it under the loose tile in my room. I had built the little hollow under it in secret and it wasn't on any of the tower blueprints. I had built it just big enough to fit my two prize positions, this bag and an abused cardboard box. The box held all that remained of my parents positions as well as my their notes, blue prints and formulas. I guarded it zealously refusing help to clean my room on the rare occasion that even I gave into the need to clean it, but it was the contents of the bag I was after today. I sat on a clear spot on the floor and rummaged around in it till my fingers touched the midnight fabric. Reverently I pulled it out and ran those same fingers gently over it.
It wasn't much really, just an old black bunny-hug with some Celtic designs done in silver around the triceps of each sleeve. But as my fingers slid over them memories of someone I'll never truly forget but manage not to consciously think about rushed over me…
flashback
"Yo Shifty!" a voice called out from behind me. I didn't reply just moved over on the ledge so there was room for her too. "You're a hard guy to follow brother," she said as she flopped down beside me.
"I don't want to leave." I told her looking at the wilderness below us. She was silent for a moment then she drew me in with her words and an arm compaionlly around my shoulder.
"I don't want you to leave either, but there's more to life then this." she made an elegant motion with her arm that seemed to mean everything. "You finally have the chance to get out of this cycle man. You've been given a chance." she looked out at me her grey eyes dark with emotions that I knew I'd never be able to truly feel. Not the way she felt them, her's were ancient, powerful, deep. There were times I'd didn't think I'd ever be able to feel anything close to the same. The wind picked up and whipped her hair around us. Her molten fire, blood red hair. That's what really stands out clearest. Her red hair, it was so uniquely hers, yet it reminded me of what felt like a past life, though it had only been eight years ago. I looked back down at the note that held the life changing choice in a rough scrawl.
"Will they take me?" I asked feeling old insecurities rise, she came me a smile.
"If they don't you can always come back," she pulled off her sweater and dropped it on my lap. "You're a child of eternity, we'll never turn you away." I trailed my finger of the silver designs…
There was another bang on the door and I pulled my blankets over my head with a snarl. It was noon and I only had to wait for sun down, who was it now?
"Beast Boy? Friend are you there? It is I Starfire I wish to converse with you." An innocent feminine voice spoke. I sighed and buried my face into my pillow. Why did it have to be Star? I muttered a few choice curses into the pillow but she knocked again. Why did it have to be the one person who could read me so well? Starfire was so in tune with her own emotions that she was adapt at reading others as well, which wasn't necciarily a good thing when your "emotions" weren't the sort meant to be shared. Right no I was going to have to pull the act of a lifetime, maybe when I was done being a superhero Id think about an acting career. That fantasy had to wait because Star was still waiting at the door. I dragged my aching butt out of bed and focused for a moment making sure that I was in control of my own DNA. It stirred but other then that held still. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
"Oh friend I have missed you!" she exclaimed as the door slid open and she grabbed me in one of her trademark back cracking hugs. This was the reason no Titan ever went to the chiropractor; Star did such a good job of it.
"It's only been a few hours Star." I gasped and the Tammarian let me go.
"But you have been in your room all day much like friend Raven usually is. Robin didn't even come to get you for training; he said you were "leave". Why did you not come to say farewell to us?" she asked and I sighed inside. Star had a way of making you feel like a sleaze even when you hadn't done anything.
"Star I haven't left yet." I told her and a look of confusion slid onto her face.
"Then why would friend Robin say that you were gone?" she asked her expression prettily confused.
"What I'm on is a sort of vacation." I explained wincing as I slid out of character slightly but Star didn't seem to notice.
"Oh, well that does make the sense now that you're said that. Where are you going on your "vacation"?" she asked and I smiled as I thought about it.
"To see some people I haven't seen in a long time," I felt my thoughts beginning to pull back into those times, "a very long time." I murmured and shut the door. Missing the puzzled look Starfire gave me.
flashback
"Hey who's up for a swim? Dixon yelled up the stairs. I was sprawled on a giant, ugly beast of a couch, that when you closed your eyes felt like you were sleeping in heaven. It might have been too big and ugly but it was comfortable as sin. It was a couch made for napping not looks.
"I am!" Melody answered coming down the stairs holding tightly to Destiny's small pale hand. The child's eyes were far away and I knew that she was caught up in her powers, dancing through space and time as though it was hers to play with. Melody tossed her black curls and sent a flirty smile to Dixon. "I'm ready whenever you are hot stuff." Melody and Dixon had been going out since I'd first met them years ago and this was a part of the game that they both enjoyed. Dixon smiled and whatever pickup line he was about to reply with was denied as the others entered.
"Hope you two love birds weren't thinking of leavening without us." Ryann said walking into the room silent as a stalking tiger. Ryann pronounced Ryan the last n silent. It was a fact worth your life to remember, she'd done bodily harm to people who ignored it. I stretched out on the couch then sat up as Fauve leapt at me. The two girls could have been sisters, their features were so similar but there was a three million year gap in their ages. Fauve could control the element fire but her powers were nothing, heck anyone's except perhaps Destinies were nothing compared to Ryann's.
"Ryann was different, Ryann was forever. She claimed not to know how old she was all she would say was that she'd been old when the Egyptians had started building their pyramids. Of course Ryann was immortal but only through a side effect of her powers. She lived in all times and it was her ability to control time is what gave her both her unnatural speed and an extra bonus. Sort of like, oh what's that girl in the movie… Elektra, that's it. She sort of manipulated time like that. Not very many people would believe her if she told them but then you don't have a choice to after you've seen her powers in action. I've seen them in action. I'd known her since the creeps who'd kidnapped me after my parents' death. We have a connection us two. She says it's because we've both been given a lifespan that's far longer then usual. Hers has stretched into millions of years while I'm just starting mine, we're suspicious it will last for hundreds. After all, Great White sharks don't mature until their 50 years old and some sea turtles are known to be well into their hundreds and still going strong. Which led the two of us to the conclusion that baring something killing me we'll be together for a long, long time.-
"Beast Boy I know you're in there so open the door before I do it for you." she growled, well growled isn't the right word, because you see, Raven doesn't growl. I looked at the door tempted to wait and see if she would break it down. That she could there isn't a doubt but I'm not sure certain that she would. Raven keeps her room locked to the world and the only one who dares to invade it or challenge it is me. So balancing her respect for locked doors against that, odds are she probably wouldn't mind returning the favour.
"Gimme a minuet." I shout back at her and do a quick glance at the mirror.
It had taken all day but the battle with my mutinous DNA was at a stalemate. I couldn't undo that changes it had already rote, nor could it got loose long enough to do some more changes. I'd changed out of my uniform into the same sort of things I'd worn before I'd joined the Titans plus the toque hiding my hair. A pair of torn and well broken in jeans, a black underarmour shirt (A.N. you know the kind that foot ball players wear), and other that was the black sweater. I shrugged; yep this was definitely not Beast Boy. My gaze strayed to the glowing numbers of the clock. 5:30, sundown, almost show time. I smirked revealing canines slightly larger then normal, even for me. I snagged a pair of mirrored sunglasses off a pile of junk by the door and wrapped the slender beaded chain with the polished wooden ring on it around my wrist.
Raven raised her hands eye glowing white, "Azerath Mentrion Zin-" the door slid open to reveal a green skinned stranger. Raven blinked for a moment in surprise and her powers blinked off as her control slipped only that tiny little bit. "New look/" she asked and I shook my head.
"Nope just cleaning out my closet." I let my eyes slide down her curvy form in the black leotard then flipped them back up to her face. Raven was the one I couldn't understand; even a brief glimpse into her mind hadn't helped. All I really had concrete about her was that in most ways she needed my more then the others, and though I refused to admit it, I probably would do anything for her. To bad I couldn't figure out why.
"What? Dude am I like naked or something? Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked and Raven lowered her slender, elegant brows and sent me a glare that would have frozen gas.
"Robin sent me to get you, he wants to talk to you." I nodded.
"Yeah sure just let me grab something first." Agreed and snagged my bright yellow titans belt off the floor where I'd dropped it last night. I draped it over my shoulder and we started down the hallway Raven levitating beside me. My nose twitched as the frost that hung threatening in the air outside reached through ha open window to taunt me.
flashback
The burning pier floated out to the middle of the pool blazing like a bon fire and tears openly ran down our cheeks. There were a few muffled booms from it as the three bottles of wine I'd sent to the deep with Dixon exploded. There were just the three of us now, four it you counted Destiny but she wasn't really alive. Melody clung to me and Dixon's body burned to ashes. Four times we'd come her and each time it was to say good-bye. Ryann sat on the bank watching the pier burn and the firelight revealed the tear tracks down her face like molten gold. Destiny sat silently her expression sat but she wasn't losing Dixon, not like we were. She'd made a special sort of reality, where the souls of all our friends, the rest of the Children of Eternity, waited. Each of them continuing to do what they had always loved to do. They all had a special place where they could sit and watch what was happening here even though they would never be able to return. It was where Destiny lived and it was where she had escorted Dixon's soul when he died. So eventually we would all be able to meet again. Destiny could even allow them a few brief moments here with us from time to time. Until we died ourselves though they were for all purposes as as the dead were to the living.
Melody wiped her eyes and gently put one hand to her swollen belly, the fire had burned down to only the final flickers. She gave a watery smile as the baby kicked. She had a piece of Dixion to carry with her forever. She looked around at us and our shared silence was all that we needed to ever say. She took Destiny's hand and the small girl used her powers to take them both home. I sat down next to Ryann and we huddled closer together taking comfort in the physical contact.
The sun had set and even the smoke of the pier was gone before we broke the silence.
"This is good-bye Shifty." Ryann's voice was sad and resigned but the declaration held no room for argument.
"You're leaving?" I asked her. Ryann may have been immortal but her soul and emotions were all to human. She took death hard, not all death, just the death of those she cared for. Ryann looked up at the moon as she spoke the next lines.
"I need to sleep for awhile, to step back from the now into time and give myself some distance. You've got the Titans now and Melody will have the baby in a few weeks. Life rolls on and it's time I stepped back." I looked down at the black waters of the pond, feeling abandoned and miserable. She ruffled my hair. "Don't be so sad Shifty. The Children of Eternity are never truly separated or gone. We'll go and have a final hunt tonight then you'll return to Jump City and I'll crawl into bed. When the first frosts fall on my mountain I'll pick you up and we'll hunt together again." I looked at her.
"Time's different on your Mountain Ryann. It'll be four years till the frosts come." I told her looking at my hands, my thought s far distant; imaging the long period of denial I'd have to enter. I could hunt by myself of course but I needed someone with me to make sure I didn't hurt anyone if I got carried away. I thought of the sweet hot blood and the thrill of the chase, the anticipation of the stalk, I felt the fire leap in my blood at the thought of it. "I don't know if I can hold out against myself that long." she looked at the moon again and her silver eyes glimmered then she blinked and banished the tears from them.
"Bet?" she asked and I looked up at her, I could almost read her thoughts from her eyes and sighed.
"We hunt tonight then when the first frosts fall on your mountain we hunt again." I held out my hand, "If I win and go without the blood and the flesh for that time you hunt with me as a wolf." she took my hand and finished.
"If you cave, then you hunt the first one alone and become my slave for two weeks." I felt a smile slip through my misery onto my lips, as I nodded. She rose to her feet and pulled my up. "Come on then Brother. Let's make this a hunt to remember."
I walked into the common room behind Raven. Robin looked up at me as I entered and the eye slits of his mask narrowed, as did his gaze. Cyborg looked up from whatever he was adjusting on the computers in the corner and Starfire looked up from the great bubbling pot of goo she was stirring. I dropped down across the table from Robin and Raven went over to her usual corner and took out a book.
"You wanted to see me?" I asked him and Robin leaned back in his chair.
"Are you alright B? You look different." he said I gave a grin. Robin was someone I respected but for the same reasons I respected him also made it almost impossible for us to be as close as the others. The interrogation he'd given me when I'd transformed into the Beast had nearly shattered what little bond that we'd had. I knew in a few years things between us would come to a head but not tonight. Tonight I wouldn't challenge his position as leader; I sure didn't want it anyway.
"Dude you just missed me admit it." I said sliding easily into the team joker they knew me as. Robin's lips twitched but other then that and a relaxing around his eyes his expression stayed the same.
"Actually, not really, but I did want to ask you one last time where are you going?" I met his eyes through the mask, knew the rest of the team was holding their breath. I dropped the bright yellow belt across the table between us and in the same motion slipped the mirrored sunglasses over my eyes.
"Out." I paused for a moment then let an eager smile slip onto my face. "The frosts just settled." I rose the inclined my head to the belt. "Watch that for me Dudes, I'll be back the day after tomorrow." then with that I waved farewell to the others and left. Once I was out of sight I ran for the roof like the hounds of hell were chasing me and ignored Robin's muttered command. "Follow him…"
The night air was cold and crisp against my skin. The ragged pair of fingerless cloth gloves I had pulled on weren't designed for warmth, but then I wasn't cold either. The fire was beginning to stir in my veins and I couldn't have been cold if I'd lied. The others had followed me onto the roof but I ignored them. I faced into the wind, faced the moonrise all my senses straining to detect the one I knew was coming. Suddenly the breeze shifted and I knew. I turned around slowly, willing my racing heart to slow.
"B there's no one up here." Cyborg said and before I could answer him someone else spoke.
"Shifty you made it!" she said and her voice was the sweetest most beautiful song I'd ever heard.
"You took your time. The frosts settled an hour ago" I could see he lounging on the diving board above the pool. The others looked around but her powers hid her from their view. She tossed her hair and laughed, something about her brought back lyrics from a song I'd heard a long time ago… No one ever left me out in the rain, cold words still remain unspoken, I've never been lost, spent years in the dark, You're here now my hearts un broken.
"Ya gotta give a girl time to travel you know." she jumped off the diving board onto the ground. The moonlight struck her and her powers created a myriad of illusions around her all shimmering and delicate. This was the bonus of her powers; to create illusions so powerful they made her invisible to human sight. My senses though had always been seemingly immune to her powers.
"Drop your illusion Ryann." (with the silent n) "My friends think I'm talking to empty space." Ryann didn't drop her powers but used them to create a body for her that the others could see. She was closer no and her scent swam around me and welcomed up a lifetime of memories about her that I'd thought successfully drowned.
"I missed you Shifty." She said and we grabbed each other in a hug that whispered of desperation.
"I missed you to." I told her and she took a step back and her lips twitched into a teasing smile.
"Nice sweater." I smiled in response, the sweater was hers. I took in the black trench coat and blue jeans.
"Nice coat." I said giving her a lazy once over and she laughed and tossed her hair, the trench coat was mine.
"Should we trade back?" she asked and I pulled the sweater off over my head. She laughed again as though she hadn't done it in a long time and handed me the trench coat. I shrugged it on and it felt just like old times as the cold leather brushed and settled against my exposed flesh. She had the sweater on and it looked as though it had never left her back. Looking at the picture of her standing there identical to the one that nestled in my memories I felt the last four years without her run off me as though I was just now waking form a dream. She reached up and pulled the toque off revealing my bloody red streaked shag.
"I take it that you're fighting a losing battle with yourself little brother." I smiled and it felt predatory as I surrendered to my subconscious and there was a grinding of bone as joints shifted and bones reshaped themselves. I glanced over at the others, my friends, now they felt like strangers; they were looking at me as though they were thinking the same thing. Well in a way I was a stranger to them, they'd never seen this side of me and I didn't intend to give them more then this one peek of it. I nodded to them once, it was a dismissal, it was farewell. When I turned back to Ryann the smirk was on her face again, the one that I remembered so well, the one that meant she found some little thing amusing.
"What? You're here now I win the bet. For four years I've battled it out as a vegetarian but now, now you owe me and I intend to collect on it." Ryann laughed, her gorgeous eyes glittered in excitement and anticipation. I loved that about it, it was something that I had missed, she found everything funny because she processed the ability to step back and look at it from any perspective to find the humour.
"Then we'd better call Destiny and get this party started." she touched the pendant that she'd wrapped around her wrist in the same fashion I'd wrapped my ring and chain around my own. The polished oval stone flashed once with a soft sapphire light then we waited.
I was the first to hear it, the soft melodic chimes undercut with the drums of chaos. I turned to the east and Ryann looked at me then turned as well, trusting my judgement. Suddenly what appeared to be a shooting star began to fall towards the ground then it levelled off and rocketed towards us. It grew larger and larger till it looked to be about the same size as a person and the drums made the very air around us tremble and the chimes twinkled like lightning dancing among us. Behind me I sensed the others take a step back. The pendant pulsed again and the light flashed, I was glad I had slipped my sunglasses on so I wasn't quite blinded by the light and I was able to watch Destiny step through the portal she'd ripped in the fabric of reality.
Her white blonde hair curled around her head like an angles tresses. Her eyes were a dark deep brown that always appeared to be too large for her face. They were he most intriguing feature. Usually distant and vague as though she was lost in a dream there were times like now, when they were focused in the present that they hinted at the secrets in their dark depths and revealed the true age that the body of this fiver year old child hid. She looked up t me and a smile, radiant as the heavens, broke over her face.
"Shifty!" she squealed and leapt at me wrapping her small arms around my waist. She was a disturbing mix of young and old. Her powers had killed her at the age of five but they'd also allowed her to travel freely between all realms and dimensions. Passing easily from one reality to the next, death held as little claim to her as life had. After all she's been dead going on ten years not. She had died before I'd even heard of the children of eternity, before I'd even left Africa's blessed shores.
"Destiny," I said picking her up and giving her a hug, "what have you been up to?" she giggled.
"Oh, this and that. Ryann asked me to keep an eye on you make sure you didn't cheat." she hugged me again suddenly sliding back into the child. "I knew you'd make it!" I glanced over at Ryann who didn't even have the decency to blush for having me spied on.
"Destiny can you do me a favour?" Ryann asked calmly and I put the blonde child down and she turned to the tall Amazon that Ryann resembled at times. Her brown eyes glowed for a moment then she smiled.
"Sure I'll open a door to the forest for you." she answered before Ryann even got to ask. Ryann took a deep breath and I could almost hear her counting to ten. She didn't like it when the younger girl did that. Meanwhile with the unconcern that children excel at Destiny ignored her and grabbed hold of the key that hung from a golden chain around her waist. She held it out in front of her and slid it forward slightly as though inserting it into a lock then she twisted it and I felt the air tremble again as the drums took up their beat and reality parted for her. Before her as though separated by a shimmering curtain a different world was revealed. I smiled and felt my whole body jump to attention, my every cell suddenly attuned to the anticipation that flared through my blood swift as a forest fire. I could almost taste the hot bittersweet blood already. Feel the cold air rushing past me and hear the swift steps fleeing before me. I dropped down on one knee and gave Destiny a hug then I glanced over at my friends and nodded to them. My eyes met Robin's and I sent a thought out to him that I knew he would read in my expression, Now you know where I'm going. I felt the air beside me stir and I looked over to at Ryann who nodded.
"A bets a bet." she said and muttered something under her breath then where moments before a girl had stood now a silver wolf waited. "Come little brother, the hunt begins"
My name is Beast Boy, I'm a member of the Teen Titans. Someonewho has agreed to dedicate my life to protect a city but I'm a killer. It's written into the marrow of my bones, I'm the ultimate predator ever created by nature or man. My four-year penance is over. It's time. I surrender to instinct. My muscles bunch and flow like liquid steel as we race into the forest. As we pursue a fleeing deer there is only time for one last thought. This is my secret identity, this is a facet of me that my friends will never know, never truly understand. Then the blood lust consumes me…
The End