"So, hey." Sasuke began, slightly hesitant to mention anything concerning the matter, "does uh. Naruto seem different to you?"

Kiba glanced up from where he'd been tracing idle patterns on his desk. "Hm? Different how?"

"Well." Sasuke glanced over at Naruto.

In Naruto's chair sat a large, poorly sewn doll crammed into one of Naruto's orange sweatsuits, with the remains of an old mop crudely spread on its head.

"Well. I mean like…"

One of its button eyes fell off and started spinning on the desk.

"Is his hair different?"

"Hmm?" Kiba spun in his seat, worried that Naruto could have injured someone with his hair again.

The doll slid down in its seat slightly. The mop-end slid off and slapped against the floor.

Kiba sighed in relief. "What are you talking about, man?" He turned back to his tracing. "He's the same as always."

"Hn." Sasuke shook his head. "No. Something's off. I just can't put my finger on it."

Its other button eye fell off. A seam on its head tore and a tuft of cotton poked out.

"Shit I just can't put my finger on it."

"Don't worry about it." Said Kiba. "I'm sure it's nothing."

Sasuke grit his teeth as Iruka started taking roll. "It's never nothing." He said. "Never."

"Well maybe it is this time."

Sasuke said, "It's not."

"Well it could be."

"His teeth." Sasuke scowled. "It's like, his teeth are different."

Kiba glanced at Naruto. "His teeth are fine, man. Just let this one go."

"Kiba?" Iruka called.

"I'm hurr." Kiba chortled at his own wittiness.

"Fuck. Something is off, I'm positive." Sasuke said, a blood vessel very slowly swelling along his temple. "I just need to see what."

"He's fine. Goddamn."

"Sasuke?" Iruka called.

Sasuke waved at him. "He's not fine. He's never fine. It's always something. Always."

"Naruto?" Iruka called.

The doll slid down a little further in its seat. Another seam near the collar of the sweatsuit split and a bundle of wheat poked out.

"Naruto." Iruka said, looking at him hard. "Just say 'here' and we can move on."

The doll said nothing.

"Naruto." The man gestured widely. "Come on. The class is waiting."

"Naruto!" Kiba added, "goddamn, just say 'here' already."

"I'll mark you absent." Iruka said. "Do you want that? Because I can do that. That's what going to happen if you don't say 'here.'"

A seam where Naruto's left ear would have been popped. Clear fluid dribbled out.

"Alright. Absent." Iruka said, stretching the word as he drew a careful slash through Naruto's name. "There. You happy?"

"NOOOOOO!" Came a mighty cry, and Naruto exploded through the window above Shikamaru, showering him in glass and potentially blinding him. He landed in a crouch at the front of the room and rose slowly. He looked a mess: clothes torn, face bruised and bloodied, but he was still standing strong. "He's an imposter!" Naruto said, and jabbed a finger at the doll in his seat, "that fucker, right there!"

"Oh just what we need," Iruka said, "two goddamn Naruto's."

"You thought you'd killed me, didn't you!" Naruto said, "thought you'd committed the perfect crime! With me gone and you legally dead, you thought you'd take my place! Well I broke out of that damn coffin, and I dug out of that damn hole!" He held up his hands, and the fingers were raw. "And I ran straight here because I knew you'd be here! Too fucking proud! Too fucking arrogant, no way you'd leave without a good kick through the grave!"

A seam right on the doll's forehead popped, more fluid poured out.

"Shut up!" Naruto said, and started towards it. "You're done. Here and now. You won't be getting the inheritance, fucker! No. If you'd left the ramen alone, I might have let you live. But you had to touch it, didn't you! Couldn't keep your damn dirty mitts off it!"

The doll sat there.

"You fucker you don't get to mention her name!" Naruto launched himself at the doll, and they fell to the floor in a pile. They spun, rolled, fists squeaked down, stuffing gently poofed into the air, crumbled wheat did wheat things.

"Shit!" Iruka, the only responsible and liable one said, just outside the fray, "shit who's the real Naruto!"

"Kill him!" Naruto cried, the doll atop him limply, "fucking kill him he's gone mad!" The doll continued to do nothing.

"Who do I kill!" Iruka said, "Goddamnit who do I kill!"

"No!" Naruto groaned, hands around the doll's, forcing it up away from him. "No I won't die here! You won't kill me here!"

The doll continued to do nothing.

"Fuuuuck! Yooooooou!" Naruto pushed the limb away completely, and sunk a Kunai into the dolls neck. The doll continued to be limp. He pushed it off of him, panting, weeping. "Goddamnit." Naruto said, hovering over the doll, caressing its face. "We were brothers. Brothers goddamnit! Why did you have to do it! Why! Shit. Shit what a fuckin mess."

"Okay wait is evil-Naruto dead?" Kiba said. "I'm confused."

"Not now Kibbleton." Naruto said. "Not now." Naruto drew up the doll, and carried out behind the academy, buried it in the ground there. He said a few words, and returned to the academy to maybe start a fire or something, he wasn't sure yet. Behind him, the fresh grave sat there.

Nothing happened.

END