Cirno.

Oh, God. Where do I even begin?

Let's start with the obvious. She was a fairy, a race of beings that were known for being dim-witted, mischievous, and extremely weak. Even a normal person without any magical ability could beat one without much effort. Fairies were also technically immortal, which only served to further the view that they were little more than punching bags. Truth be told, even I felt a little bad for them sometimes.

There were outliers among the fairy kind however, and Cirno was one of them. For one, she had been able to get into high school, which on its own made her a prodigy. She was also reasonably strong, as strong as most weaker youkai at least. A pretty impressive feat considering her species' reputation. Now, would she be able to hold her own against someone like Reisen for example? Excuse me while I laugh.

Back on topic, Cirno was an ice fairy, allowing her to control… well, ice. Actually, it would be more accurate to say she could manipulate cold, which meant her powers didn't falter in the heat. As a result, it was common to hear Cirno complaining about the number of people sticking close to her during the summer months. Due to the low temperature she was always exuding.

Cirno's personality was like that of other fairies, though the biggest difference was her over-inflated ego. She genuinely believed that she was the strongest in Gensokyo and any insinuation to the contrary would instantly result in a challenge to battle. Of course, she would lose most of these fights, but Cirno was never one to hang her head in defeat for very long.

Confident, determined, and slow, Cirno was a surprisingly charismatic little fairy all the same. Her nickname throughout school was "Nine Ball", though I didn't know why. Also, she had one dream, which she had been chasing ever since she started high school.

"I knew it! I knew before anyone else that you were in the Chess Club! Wriggle and Mystia said I was crazy, but this time I was right!" Cirno exclaimed, proudly.

"Now let me into the Chess Club! I won't take no for an answer!" she demanded.

"Absolutely not," I responded without a second thought.

Cirno immediately deflated. "What?! Aw, come on! I'll be a good member, I promise!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Cirno, I just joined the Chess Club today. Even if I wanted to help you, why on Earth would I have any control over who gets in?"

"Aha! So you admit you don't want to help me, then?!" Cirno puffed her cheeks out. "I knew it! All you Chess Club guys are so… uh, what's the word?"

"Useless? Incompetent? Self-centered?" I guessed.

"Yeah, selfish! That's it!"

I rolled my eyes. "Look Cirno, I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to say: 'Oh, great and strong Cirno! Please join our club and be the strongest member we've ever had'!"

"That's-"

"Then, I would say: 'Hm… I guess I'll join, but only if you give me shaved ice every day'!" Cirno's eyes sparkled with joy as she lost herself in her own fantasy.

"That's never going to happen, bye," I bluntly stated, crushing the fairy's dreams in an instant, before turning to leave.

"Wait!" Cirno clung to my back again, which did little to slow me down.

"Hey, I said wait!" Cirno complained as I made my way to my next class. "Please just give me a shot, I've always wanted to join the Chess Club! You guys are so cool and smart and strong! You're just like me! So I'd be a perfect fit, right? Right?"

"Okay, that's it." I reached behind myself and peeled Cirno off of me.

Gripping her by the shoulders, I stared deep into her eyes in a desperate attempt to make my point clear.

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you this, but I have literally zero say in who gets to join the Chess Club. Go ask one of the other members if you want to get in so badly."

Cirno squirmed in annoyance. "But I diiiiiid! They all said they wouldn't let me in, so you're my last shot!"

I sighed and dropped Cirno, who landed on her butt with a thud.

"Ow!"

"If I'm your last hope then you're screwed, there's just no other way to put it." I began to walk away again, but I had a feeling that wouldn't be the end of it.

"Wait!"

Aware of what was coming at this point, I sidestepped Cirno's third attempt at tackling me. I couldn't help but wince as she crashed face-first into a wall and rebounded onto the floor with a dazed expression on her face.

"Wait… Ch-Chess… Club…" she slurred.

"You should see the nurse," was all I had to say to the concussed fairy before I finally separated from her.

The final bell rang, indicating the end of school. Making my way through the crowded halls and out of the building, I caught sight of Alice waiting for me by the exit. After briefly searching for possible escape routes, and finding none, I begrudgingly made my way over to her.

Upon seeing me, she frowned. "You know, it wouldn't kill you to open up just a little. All we asked for was your cell phone number."

"And I hope I made my refusal very clear," I said, walking past her.

"You realize Remilia's just going to figure it out on her own, right? If she wants something, she'll get it, no matter the cost." Alice spoke as if Remilia was some kind of force of nature. To be fair, she was probably right.

As we moved through the courtyard, I noticed Alice was lagging behind me.

I looked back at her. "What are you doing?"

"You said this is how you wanted us to walk together, right?" she asked.

"That was before my normal life completely fell apart. I mean, I'm already a member of the Chess Club, so we can walk side-by-side if you want." I blushed as I realized what I just said. "U-unless you'd rather stay over there, that'd be fine too."

Alice giggled. "I suppose talking like this when we're so far apart is pretty awkward, isn't it?" She jogged a little and caught up to me.

God. Why did I even say anything?

We walked silently for a while, our footfalls on the pavement below and the idle chattering of other nearby students filling the air.

Eventually, Alice spoke up. "So, did anything interesting happen today?"

I thought about my earlier encounters with Satori and Cirno.

"Nope, nothing at all." There was no need to trouble her with any of that.

"Ah, okay. By the way, who ended up replacing Wakabayashi?" Alice asked.

"Mrs. Shiki," I answered.

Alice smiled. "Oh, I had Eiki last year. She's a bit bossy, but very kind once you get to know her. But you probably already knew that," she added, somewhat disappointedly.

I sighed. "Look, it's not my fault I go to a school full of loons with magic powers."

"Actually, I've been meaning to ask. If you dislike it here so much, why have you never transferred out?"

"Oh, believe me, I've tried. Mom won't have any of it though, she says going here is 'good for me'. It sure turned out great, all right," I said sarcastically, while looking down at my chest.

Alice hummed and lowered her head, seeming to be deep in thought.

"You know, maybe we ca-"

"Excuse me, mind if I talk to you?" someone called out, interrupting Alice.

I turned to see a grown man approaching me from across the street. He wore generic, unassuming clothes and had a buzzcut, with a pair of shades resting on his scalp.

I raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you, officer?"

A look of surprise crossed the man's face before he grinned.

"No, but maybe I can help you. Detective John Guthrie," he introduced himself. "I'm investigating the disappearance of your homeroom teacher, Mr. Wakabayashi. I'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind."

I opened my mouth to respond, only for Alice to interject. "Excuse me sir, but we're in a bit of a rush. I'm sure Adam doesn't know anything that could help you."

"Is that right? Forgive me for assuming but…" The officer reached into his pocket and pulled out a newspaper, I'm sure you can already guess which one it was.

"That's you on the cover photo, right son?"

I leaned forward and squinted, acting as though I were examining the picture for the first time. "Hm… I don't know, it's pretty blurry."

The officer glowered. "Well, I think it is you." He put on a disingenuous smile. "Look kid, I'm a nice guy. This paper here? It's started up a whole bunch of nasty rumors at your school, so open up to me and we can set the story straight together. What do you say?"

"No offense officer, but you have the wrong person. If that is me in the photo, then I don't remember being there," I said, continuing to feign ignorance.

"Maybe a nice, long ride to the station would help you clear your mind, then," he threatened.

"Hey, that's not fair! You can't arrest someone on a whim like that!" Alice protested.

"Honestly John, can't you do anything right?"

A new face entered the scene. Although I knew she was also a plainclothes officer, her getup initially made me think otherwise. She had long red hair tied back in a yellow ribbon, with similarly shaded red eyes to match. The most striking part about her however, was the long, purple kimono she wore. To be honest, it looked like she had shown up straight out of a fairy tale.

The newcomer gave us an apologetic look. "Sorry about that, Detective Guthrie here is a bit overzealous when it comes to these things."

"We have evidence of him attacking the suspect, Kotohime," Guthrie seethed.

"A candid photo taken by a high school student is hardly solid evidence, why don't you go cool down in the car?" the woman suggested.

Guthrie attempted to argue, only to be immediately shut down. After one last scowl in our direction, he finally went away.

"Now that that's done with… I'm Detective Kotohime, it's nice to meet you." She extended a hand to me, which I reluctantly took.

"Again, sorry about Guthrie. We're not here to grill you, nor do we think you had anything to do with Wakabayashi's death. We just thought his students might have some useful information for us."

"Information about what?" I asked, though I had a feeling I knew the answer.

"Well, we suspect that Wakabayashi may have been involved in some shady business."

"What kind of shady business?" Alice probed.

"U-uh, I've already said too much. Really, that information is classified," Kotohime said, somewhat sheepishly. "Anyway, I wanted to ask if Wakabayashi ever said anything about meeting up with people outside of school? Or maybe about going out on trips to unusual places?"

"Sorry, but Mr. Waka was never exactly open about his personal life. The only thing he ever talked about was math and what would happen to you if you didn't listen to him talk about math," I said, truthfully.

Kotohime chuckled. "So he was that kind of teacher. Hm… then did you ever see him outside of school at all?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, I think you'll have better luck asking his family or something."

"We've already tried that. Unfortunately, it didn't dig up any worthwhile leads." Kotohime clasped her hand over her mouth. "Ah crap, I did it again didn't I? I've really got to stop revealing details about the case to random people like that."

I fidgeted uncomfortably. Was she actually this careless or just trying to get my guard down? This was by far the strangest cop I had ever met.

"Ah well, you're free to go now, just don't tell anyone what I told you. Oh, and call me if anything comes to mind."

Kotohime reached into her pocket and pulled out a notepad and pen, she scribbled a number onto the paper, then handed it to me.

"Uh… thanks."

"You're welcome." She turned to leave, before stopping.

"Hey, Guthrie may not be the brightest, but he was right about one thing. There are a ton of rumors going around about you at your school. And from the look of things, they probably won't be going away anytime soon. I hope you're prepared to handle them."

With that, Kotohime left us. A tense moment of silence passed between me and Alice as we watched her disappear around the corner.

"Oh dear, this can't be good." Alice nervously thumbed the strap of her satchel. "I do hope Patchouli will be all right, it's likely she's the prime suspect in all of this."

"I don't think she's the type to break under interrogation," I said, though I couldn't help but feel sorry for Patchouli as well.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. Speaking of which, I'm impressed by how composed you were back there. It's not how you usually act when confronted, no offense," she apologized.

I shrugged. "Once you've stared someone like Mrs. Yakumo or Mrs. Matara in the eye, normal humans don't scare you as much."

"I'm not sure if I would call that woman a normal human. I have an inkling that there's more to her than meets the eye," Alice mused.

"What gave it away? Her tacky clothes?" I joked. "Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen a cop dressed like that."

Alice laughed slightly, though it was clear to see she was still on edge. "Well, at least she let us off easy. Come, let's head home."

We didn't speak much after that, as we were far too deep in thought about our encounter with the police to make any more small talk. Before long, we made it to our respective houses and bid each other farewell.

"All right, this is where we split ways. I'll walk you to school again in the morning," Alice stated.

"You're really planning to do this every day, huh?" I asked, making no attempt to hide my displeasure.

"Until we can remove the artifact, at least. It won't always be me though, as I may be busy some days," Alice said.

My eyes widened. "Oh God, please don't tell me everyone else knows where I live."

Alice stared at me without a word.

"Well, see you tomorrow." Alice quickly waved goodbye to me and raced inside her house.

"Hey, wait!" Her door shut behind her before I could get a word in.

"Great, this place is gonna look like a circus in a month, isn't it?" I lamented.

I slogged over to my front door and opened it. Inside, my dad was on the couch watching Full House.

"Hey, champ! How was school?"

"Fine, I guess."

"Cool."

"I'm going to my room now."

I went to do just that, but paused.

"Look, it's up to you if you want to tell him or not. But if I were you, I would, it's clear that he loves you, and he deserves to know."

Alice's words echoed in my mind. I glanced back at my dad, who had shifted his attention back to the TV. He seemed so content in his own little world, there was no way I could shatter his heart like that. Still, he'd probably start asking why Alice was coming over every day, so I figured I would at least tell him about the Chess Club.

"Hey uh, Dad? You got a minute?"

"Sure, sport! What's on your mind?"

"I just thought I should tell you… I joined a club at school."

Dad's happy expression faded, replaced with one of pure shock.

"Wh-what?" he asked, slack-jawed.

"Yeah, it's a chess club that Alice is in. So you'll probably be seeing her and maybe some other people come by a lot more often, God forbid. Hey, are you oka-? Huh?!"

Dad suddenly launched himself at me and wrapped me up in a tight hug.

"D-dad?! Get a hold of yourself!" I yelled as he spun me around in his arms.

"I've been waiting for this for so long! You're not pullin' my leg are ya, sport? You're really opening up to people again?" Dad asked, excitedly.

"Dad! Please put me down!" I struggled to push out of my father's iron grip. Is this how Cirno felt earlier?

"Oh, right!" Dad let me go at last. "Sorry about that sport, you just surprised me a little is all. You said it was a chess club, right? That makes sense, you always were good at thinkin' ahead!"

I blushed. "Come on, Dad. Knock it off…"

He laughed. "So, who else is in the club?"

"A-a few humans, some youkai, a half-ghost. No one you'd know."

Dad grinned. "Well, I'm proud of you for finally coming outta your shell! Oh! I've got to call your mother and tell her that Hell froze over and pigs are flying!" Dad sped off into the kitchen, cheering and whooping all the while.

I shuddered at the thought of my mother's reaction, she'd probably be twice as excited as my dad was, if not more.

I made my way to my room, my mind now filled with more dread than I ever thought possible.

After triple-checking my alarms, I made sure to put on my pajamas before I went to sleep this time. I could still hear Dad jovially talking with Mom about me joining the Chess Club, even though it had been hours since I told him. I did my best to ignore the conversation as I made my bed.

As I made my preparations, I was startled by the sound of my phone's ringtone. I knew Dad was still talking to Mom, so it couldn't have been either of them.

I grabbed my phone and looked at the screen, my heart immediately skipped a beat.

Caller ID: Remilia Scarlet, Gensokyo

Dear God, please no.

I shakily flicked the "Accept Call" button and put the phone to my ear.

"H-hello?"

I heard a dark chuckle from the other end. "What's the matter, human? You sound awfully scared~."

"How did you get this number?" I asked, anxiously.

"Tsk, tsk. Don't you know it's useless to try and run from a vampire?" Remilia taunted. "We've been hunting your kind for centuries, a simple phone number is a trivial thing for one such as me to deduce."

"Also all she had to do was ask Yukari, your number is on school record after all," a second voice said, dryly.

"Patchy! Stop ruining my mystique!" Remilia complained.

"I'm blocking you and changing my number," I said, flatly.

"Don't you dare, Coates!" Remilia shouted. "Listen, Alice told me the police questioned you today. You didn't say anything stupid, did you? And by 'anything stupid', I mean anything at all!"

"Relax, I played dumb and they let me off the hook," I replied.

"You'd better have! My poor Patchouli was interrogated by those brutes for nearly three hours, she's still traumatized as we speak."

"I am not traumatized, please do not speak on my behalf," Patchouli monotoned.

"Mystique, Patchouli! Mystique!"

"How is trauma related to mystique in any capacity?" Patchouli asked, incredulously.

"I'm hanging up now," I stated.

"Wait!" Remilia yelled.

"For what?! What else could you possibly have to say?!" I snapped.

"...Well, truth be told, I'm actually just really bored," Remilia admitted. "Patchouli's making me help her sort through Voile, my extensive library, and it is agonizingly dull."

"So… you called me because you were bored?"

"Yes."

"Goodbye."

"Don't you hang up on me, human! I'll make you rue the day!" Remilia threatened. "Especially since the only reason we're in this dusty old place is because of you!"

I hovered over the 'end call' button but stopped short. "You're in there because of me? What are you talking about?" I asked.

Remilia giggled. "Oh? Did that get your attention? You should feel honored, Patchouli has been working nonstop to try and find a solution to your little problem, Bomb-Boy. I don't think I've ever seen her so committed."

I stayed silent, processing what Remilia had just said.

"Of course, she needed the assistance of the illustrious Scarlet Devil in order to complete her task," Remilia said, proudly.

"I only needed you to sort out a few piles of books that were in the way." There was a shuffling sound on the other end. "And you didn't even do it in alphabetical order like I asked."

"So judgmental! And after everything I did for you…" Remilia sounded dismayed.

I sighed. "Thanks anyway, I guess."

"Heh, I think that's the first I've heard those words come out of you, human," Remilia teased.

"Actually, I was talking to Patchouli."

"What?! But… but I…!" Remilia sputtered. "Oh, forget it. You're incorrigible, I don't even know why I bother. Anyway, make sure to eat a big breakfast tomorrow. You'll be skipping lunch and heading straight back into the investigation with Reisen."

I groaned, though I knew it would be futile to protest. "Fine, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Hey, hang on a second. I'm still bor-"

I hung up the phone and got ready for bed. Taking one final glance out the window, I briefly admired the bright stars that specked the night sky. I wondered if Remilia was telling the truth, if Patchouli really was doing her best to find a solution for me.

Ah, what am I thinking? I shouldn't confide in the words of a vampire. I smiled. They've been hunting my kind for centuries, after all.