Author's Note: Woohoo! It's finally, finally here! I have been waiting so damn long for this! It didn't come out exactly as I wanted it but I'm also just finishing this up a day before my deadline so that's excusable.
Anyways, I'm not even going to try and hide it: The Ashen Wolves are here! We've got Yuri! We've got Constance! We've got Hapi! We've got Buff Elvis… I mean, Balthus! It's so great!
So, in other news, it's almost Christmas and you know what that means…
It means it's time for the first ever Fire Emblem: Three Houses: Fifth Path Q&A where I answer your questions!
I would suggest you not ask me anything about the characters or the world because the only things I could give you are headcanons. However, if you want to ask me about my writing process then I'd be glad to talk about it. Because I love talking about it. Only if you ask me the right questions, though.
You can send in your questions through either PM or review. You've got till the 20th to submit your questions.
Now onward to the super awesome story!
Author's Edit: I have done some editing to this chapter to fix some issues. Namely, the Ashen Wolves not telling the Best Friend Squad their group name.
Author's Edit 2: This chapter has been severely altered. As I had to delete the original Chapter 14 for reasons that will become apparent later, I had to alter this chapter to make more sense as chapter 14 instead of 15 like it originally was. I suggest re-reading it but if you don't want to that's fine too.
Part One
White Clouds
The Ashen Wolves
The days following Flayn's attempted kidnapping were tense. Even the most humorous and laid back of the Monastery's residents found it hard to crack a joke. Despite there being a murderer on the loose in the Monastery, classes still proceeded as usual Heck, classes were needed now more than ever, though no amount of training could truly prepare one to fight the Death Knight.
Aside from that, nothing of much interest happened during those days. Until one night, when Claude spotted something suspicious, and accidentally dragged his fellow House Leaders and Byleth into an unexpected adventure.
"Claude, I'm really not sure this is a good idea." Dimitri said.
Dimitri could not believe what was going on. Claude had woken him and Edelgard up at an ungodly hour, claiming to have seen someone suspicious sneak into a tunnel. And as if that wasn't bad enough, now Claude wanted them to follow the suspicious individual into said tunnel.
"But we've got to do it!" Claude said. "He could be one of those guys who tried to kidnap Flayn!"
"You may be right but even so we can't just run off on some crazy adventure." Dimitri said. "What about class?"
"Eh, what's a few missed classes, I'm sure the Professors will understand." Claude replied.
"I never thought I'd say this but I agree with Claude." Edelgard said. "If we don't chase after whoever this is right now, we might never be able to find him."
"But shouldn't we at least find a Knight of Seiros or a Professor or someone with qualifications to come with us?" Dimitri protested.
"There's no need." Claude said. "It would be rude to bother them this late at night." Funny, he hadn't had any trouble bothering him and Edelgard. "Besides, we're plenty qualified. We defended the Holy Mausoleum, didn't we?"
"I suppose you have a point." Dimitri said. He sighed. "Very well, if you're going then I shall follow, if only to make sure you don't get into any trouble."
"Don't worry about me." Claude said. "I never get into trouble."
The three house leaders stepped towards the tunnel. It was a tight fit so they were going to have to walk in a straight line. Claude had opted to go first which neither Dimitri nor Edelgard objected to. After all, it meant he would take the brunt of any danger they came across. However, just before Claude took his first step into the tunnel, they heard a voice.
"What are you three doing up so late?"
Startled, the three whirled around, pulling out their weapons as they did so. What they found upon doing so was a very nonplussed Professor Byleth who, for some reason, had Linhardt slung over her shoulder like a bag of rocks. The house leaders lowered their weapons.
"Professor!" Dimitri exclaimed. "I'm so sorry! You startled us!"
"Professor? What are you doing out here?" Edelgard asked. "And why do you have Linhardt slung over your shoulder?"
"My question first." Byleth said.
"I saw someone go into that tunnel!" Claude said, pointing to said tunnel. "They looked like they might be a bandit or one of those guys who tried to kidnap Flayn!"
Byleth sighed. "You know, I should really give you detention for this."
"But?" Claude said, knowing she wasn't going to give them detention for this.
"But given that I don't have the cleanest slate when it comes to rule breaking, I will not do that." Byleth said. "I will, however, be coming with you, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."
Claude looked at Dimitri and smirked. "There you go, Your Princeliness. We now have a Professor to chaperone us."
Dimitri mumbled something unprincely under his breath.
"Okay, my question now." Edelgard said. "What are you doing here and why do you have Linhardt slung over your shoulder?"
"Well, I was up late grading papers when I heard a noise." Byleth said.
"That was probably us." Claude admitted.
"Yeah, probably." Byleth said. "So I went to see what the noise was and ran into Linhard sleeping in a bush. So I decided I'd take him back to his room because that's the responsible thing to do."
Edelgard nodded. "Ah. So are you planning on taking him into the tunnel with us?"
"Hmm…" Byleth hmm'd. "I guess. I can't very well leave him here and taking him back to his room would take too much time."
"Well, okay then." Claude said with a shrug. "Shall we get going?"
"Hold on Claude!" Someone said.
"Ugh." Edelgard groaned. "What now."
Everyone turned to see who had spoken. It was Hilda standing with her arm outstretched "Objection" style. And for some reason, she had Ashe with her.
"You're not going anywhere without me!" She said firmly.
"Huh?" Claude said, baffled. "But… you never want to go anywhere with me?"
Hilda put her hands on her hips. "Yeah, well, Ashe wants to go." She said lamely. "So I have to come with."
"You just want to get out of something, don't you?" Claude said deadpan.
Hilda slumped. "Yes. I have detention with Professor Manuela tomorrow."
Claude shook his head.
"I do actually want to go." Ashe said. "It sounds like an adventure and if there's any villains, we need to stop them."
"Well… alright then." Claude said. "Guess you two are coming along too. Anybody else?" They waited for a second but nobody else came. Claude stood up straight. "Okay, then, let's go."
After a bit of walking in silence, Claude spoke.
"If we're going to be adventuring, we should have a group name."
"I think that is quite unnecessary, Claude." Edelgard said. "This is a single mission, and not a permanent arrangement."
But Claude wasn't listening. He was pondering names.
"How about… the Best Friend Squad!" Claude said, pounding his fist into his hand.
"We are absolutely not calling ourselves the Best Friend Squad!" Edelgard protested.
"Besides, I think that's already taken." Byleth interjected.
Just then, cramped tunnel opened into a much larger, less cramped tunnel. Wooden support beams lined the walls and a ceiling at regular intervals and torches were mounted seemingly at random with no system as to how they were placed.
"Huh." Hilda said. "I was not expecting this."
"This place seems to be more than a simple passageway." Edelgard said. "There are clear signs of human habitation."
"What gave it away, the support beams or the torches." Claude snarked.
"People living under Garreg Mach…" Hilda said, clearly pondering something. Suddenly, her eyes lit up like she had just realized something. "Oh! My brother used to tell me stories like that back in his Academy days."
"Ah, so Holst attended the academy as well, then?" Claude asked.
"Of course." Hilda said cheerily. "Back then, there were tons of rumors about what goes on below Garreg Mach. Something about tons of passages and houses beneath the town, all inhabited by super-shady people. It had a real intimidating name too. Ah, what was it again…" Hilda went back to pondering. "I think it was called… Abyss?"
As soon as she said that, a rather buff man with a fancy pair of gauntlets stepped out of the shadows. "That's two points for the pink-haired gal! Welcome to Abyss, strangers."
Dimitri drew his spear and pointed it at the man. "Identify yourself!" He shouted.
Claude looked at Dimitri. "Please don't antagonize random people, Your Princeliness."
"Welcome, curious students of the Officers Academy!" The man said. "What brings such fine, upstanding surface dwellers to our humble abode?"
"We're tracking a suspicious individual." Claude said. "We're not sure who they are but there was recently an attempted kidnapping here at the Monastery-"
"Our business here does not concern you." Edelgard cut in. "Do you intend to let us pass?"
Claude gave Edelgard an exasperated look. "What did I just say about not antagonizing people?"
A laugh came from the darkness. "Ohohoho! You would be wise to listen to your friend, agents of the Church. We are not people to be trifled with." Out of the shadows walked a rather pompous looking woman. The way she carried herself reminded Dimitri of Ferdinand.
"Agents of the Church!?" Edelgard shouted, taken aback.
"Yes! Your words may fool the fool, but I cannot be so easily deceived!" The woman declared. "I, Constance von Nuvelle, have divined your true intentions. You are here by order of the church… which cruelly plots to eliminate the inhabitants of Abyss!"
Edelgard switched from taken aback to confused. "Wait, did she say Nuvelle?"
"I don't care what the reason for this brawl is." The man said. "A fight's on the menu, and I'm ready to feast. Let's get right to it, yeah?"
Finally, the noise seemed to be enough to wake Linhardt. The moment he began to stir, Byleth put him on the ground. Upon fully waking up, he sat up and looked around confusedly.
"Hmm… what's going on?" He asked. "Are we about to have a fight?"
"No, we're not having a fight." Claude answered. He stepped between the two groups. "Let's all calm down. We're not looking for a fight. It's clear that you don't want us here so we'll just get out of your hair and forget this whole thing ever happened, alright?"
Yet another voice came from the darkness, this time from behind them. "Leaving already? Oh, but you'll make me so sad. Now why would you wanna do that?"
All six Garreg Mach residents turned to see another man walk out of the shadows. He had the look of a schemer.
"We're surrounded!" Dimitri said to his friends. "Claude, Edelgard, Professor, what should we do?"
There was a silence. Dimitri looked at his three comrades. They seemed entranced by this newcomer. The same looked to be true of Hilda, Linhardt, and Ashe. Only he remained unaffected.
"What did you do to them!" Dimitri shouted angrily.
"I didn't do anything." The scheming man said. "Your friends are simply mesmerized by my roguish good looks."
"Don't worry, this always happens." Said yet another voice. Out of the shadows stepped a rather gloomy looking woman. How many people were there. "They'll snap out of it in a few minutes, maybe longer."
Dimitri growled, brandishing his spear. "I don't know what spell you've put on my comrades, but you will remove it now!"
"I told you, it's not a spell." The scheming man said calmly.
"Fine!" Dimitri said. "If you will not remove the spell I shall simply make you remove it."
"Finally, we get to a fight." The buff man said, slamming his fist into his hand.
Dimitri shouted in a combination of rage and heroism and charged the buff man. Before he could even hit him, the man grabbed his lance and swung him around, throwing him into the wall. Dimitri wasted no time getting back up, however and charged again, using his lance to pole vault over the man, just barely grazing the tunnel's ceiling. When he landed behind him he kicked the man's legs out from under him. Or, at least, he tried to. Before he could, the man turned around and landed a solid punch in the gut.
"Come on, pal, step up your game." The man said as Dimitri stumbled backwards. "This is getting boring."
"You want me to step up my game?" Dimitri asked. "Be careful what you wish for!"
Dimitri threw his spear aside and charged the man bare fisted. He landed a good strike on the man's jaw, knocking him back a bit.
"That's more like it." The man said boisterously.
Dimitri didn't stop there, he unleashed a flurry of punches. While the man was able to block them all, Dimitri was still pushing him back up against the wall.
"Think we should help him?" The red haired woman asked the scheming man, not sounding the least bit concerned.
"Nah, he's got this." The scheming man replied.
Once he was pushed up against the wall, the muscular man stopped blocking Dimitri's punches and instead grabbed his fists. In one swift movement, he turned Dimitri around and hooked his arms under his armpits, holding him tightly to his chest to prevent escape.
"Ha." He laughed. "Nobody defeats the undefeated King of Grappling."
Dimitri was not the only one fighting. Sothis, too, was also engaged in battle. A battle against the urge to throw every swear in the book at her currently paralyzed host.
"Argh! I can't believe this!" She shouted as she paced. "What kind of protagonist are you! He's just a boy!" She was fully aware that Byleth wasn't paying attention but quite frankly she did not care. "I mean, I knew that most humans were ruled by their hormones but I had hoped…" She shook her head. "No, I didn't hope. I knew from the start that you'd be just as idiotic as all the rest. Though I will admit I didn't expect this situation exactly."
She sighed and sat down on her throne. At least Byleth's senses were still working, even if her brain wasn't, so she could still see the things she saw and hear the things she heard.
She watched with satisfaction as the prince threatened the strange opponents. At least his brain seemed to be working. Maybe he wasn't as much of an idiot as she thought. Or maybe he was because as soon as he engaged the enemy in combat he found himself locked in a hold.
Sothis shook her head and sighed again. Looked like it was up to her to get them out of this mess. First order of business, waking up the idiot. She focused her energy and Byleth appeared in front of her.
"What the-" She said, looking at herself. "How did I get here?"
"I called you here." Sothis said tiredly. Unfortunately, summoning Byleth to the mental plane took a lot of energy.
"What? Why?" Byleth asked.
"You were mesmerized by that boy over there and I had to snap you out of it somehow." Sothis explained. "Personally, I would have preferred waking up one of your other companions. The trickster, perhaps. Or the princess. Maybe even the lazy one. But, unfortunately, you're the only one I can call here."
"I was not "mesmerized" by that boy!" Byleth insisted. "I was ascertaining his threat level!"
Uh huh." Sothis said skeptically. "Well, whatever you were doing, the prince is in trouble."
"Dimitri!?" Byleth asked.
"Who else would I be talking about?" Sothis asked. "Now go and save him. And don't take any time to "ascertain his threat level.""
"So what do we do with these guys?" Balthus asked Yuri, still holding Dimitri.
"We'll lock em up for now and decide what to do with them later." Yuri said.
"You shall do no such thing!" Dimitri shouted.
"And get a gag for this one." Yuri added.
Before anyone could move, Byleth suddenly broke free of her mesmerization. Faster than lightning, she drew her sword and slashed at Balthus, despite being nowhere near him. Her sword extended like a whip and the tip struck right in front of Balthus' feet, forcing him to jump back and causing him to accidentally drop Dimitri.
"Professor!" Dimitri shouted joyfully. "You've been freed from his spell!" He stood up quickly and ran over to stand next to Byleth.
Byleth avoided making eye contact with Dimitri. "Yes. A spell. That's what that was."
"Looks like it's time for round two." Balthus said. "Two on one won't be a problem."
"You think this'll be two on one?" Byleth asked rhetorically. "Hey, Claude, Hilda got her head stuck in a bucket."
"Really." Claude responded automatically. "I have got to see this."
At the same time Hilda shouted. "My head is not in a bucket!"
The two of them took a moment to realize where they were.
"Gamóto, we're in trouble aren't we." Claude said.
"Okay, four on one. I might actually need some help here." Balthus said.
"Worry not, Balthus." Constance said with grandiosity. "I shall assist you." Her hands began to glow with magic power.
"Guess I'll help too." Hapi said monotonously. Her hands also began to glow.
"Don't go forgetting about me just yet." Yuri said, drawing his sword.
Hilda and Claude both drew their weapons and Dimitri retrieved his spear.
"Think we can take them?" Claude asked.
"No." Hilda said.
"Not easily." Byleth said. "Think you can snap the others out of it?"
"I can try." Claude said.
Byleth nodded. "Good enough. Dimitri? Hilda? You ready?"
"Nope." Hilda said.
"Yes." Dimitri said.
"Enough standing around." Balthus said. "Let's do this!"
Byleth went straight for the incredibly pretty guy. It was time for a little revenge for paralyzing her like that even though it was entirely her fault.
"Nice sword." The pretty guy said as their blades clashed.
"Thanks." She replied, pushing him away. "I got it from a tomb."
"So you're a grave robber." The pretty guy said, stabbing forward.
Byleth shook her head as she dodged his strike. "No, nothing like that. I actually took it from someone who had already stolen it from a tomb. It's a really great story. Maybe I'll tell you later. After I've kicked your butt."
Dimitri, meanwhile, was having a rematch against the muscular guy. Now that he had fought him once he knew what to look out for. When he wasn't enraged, he was very adaptable.
There was a lot of dodging and weaving involved, as there was with every fight in recent memory, but he was able to keep the muscular man on his toes.
The muscular man laughed. "Now this is a fight." He threw a punch at Dimitri, which the prince dodged.
"I must agree, this is a fight." Dimitri said. "One I'm going to win."
He swept his spear at the muscular guy's feet, causing him to stumble, and then followed it up with a jab to the stomach from the spear's blunt end. This didn't work perfectly because the muscular guy was, well, really muscular but it did push him backwards.
Hilda, meanwhile, was not having as much luck as Dimitri and Byleth were having. Being double teamed by two mages will do that to you.
"Gah!" She shouted as she dodged another magic blast. "Why did I have to be stuck with the wizards!"
"Excuse me!" The girl who talked like Ferdinand said, offended. "I am a mage thank you very much!"
"Whatever." Hilda said. She yelped as a magic blast flew over her head. "A little help here!"
"Don't worry, I've got you!" A voice shouted.
A yellow fletched arrow flew over the head of the pompous girl and hit the wall behind her. She, along with Hilda and the gloomy girl, followed the trail back to Claude.
"Ohoho!" The pompous girl laughed. "You missed!"
Claude smirked. "You're wrong, I hit exactly what I aimed for. That shot was just a distraction."
"What!" The pompous girl shouted. She turned around just in time to see Edelgard barrel into her, whacking her with the handle of her axe. She grappled her to the ground and pressed her axe to her neck.
"Hapi!" The pompous girl called to the gloomy girl. "I request your assistance!"
"I'm coming." The gloomy girl said.
"No you're not!" Hilda shouted, whacking her under the jaw with the blunt side of her axe.
Returning to Dimitri's fight with the muscular man, he was struggling. Normally, he and the muscular man might be equal in strength, but the muscular man's fancy gauntlets seemed to make him more powerful. Meanwhile, off to the side, Ashe had just been woken up and was ready for action.
"Your Highness, is there anything you need help with?" He asked.
Dimitri swiped at the muscular man. "Yes, there is. Could you please do me a favor and hold this man still?"
"Of course." Ashe said. "But I'll need you to get him up against that pole somehow." He pointed to one of the wooden support poles on the side of the tunnel.
"You realize I can hear you're planning, right?" The muscular man said, taking another swing at Dimitri..
"Yes, of course." Dimitri lied unconvincingly.
If the others weren't busy, one of them might have made a snarky comment about how he definitely hadn't realized that, but they were all busy so they didn't.
"It does not matter." Dimitri said, slashin at the muscular man. He dodged. "I will still be victorious."
"Funny, that's what I was going to say." The muscular man said, aiming a swing at Dimitri's head. Dimitri ducked. "Not quite as fancy as how you put it but it's still what I was gonna say."
Dimitri let loose a flurry of jabs. The muscular man held up his gauntlets and used them to block the strikes. This was fine, as Dimitri had no intention of actually hurting him (not on purpose, at least) but instead of pushing backwards. In very little time, the muscular man found himself pushed up against the support beam that Ashe had indicated.
"Well, Ashe, if you're going to do something, do it now." Dimitri said. "I can't keep him here forever."
"I just need you to move out of the way." Ashe said.
Dimitri nodded, though he knew Ashe couldn't see it, and jumped to the side. Ashe immediately fired off multiple arrows, piercing the muscular man's coat, effectively pinning him in place.
"Hey, pal!" The muscular man shouted. "I really liked this coat!"
Close by, Byleth was in a blade lock with the scheming man. He was almost as good as he was pretty. And, as you might have guessed from people's reactions, he was very pretty.
"You know, I think we may have started off on the wrong foot." He said.
"You think?" Byleth asked rhetorically, pushing him away. The two of them paused, retaining battle stances but holding their attacks.
"Well, I'm just saying that your friends seem to have the upper hand against my friends so maybe it would be better for me and my crew if we just called a truce." The scheming man said.
"Well, I don't expect most of them to kill your friends but if you value your consciousness a truce would definitely be a good idea." Byleth said. "Do you promise this isn't a trick?"
"Well, I can't say I never go back on my word, but I promise that this isn't any sort of trick." The scheming man said.
"Prove it." Byleth said. "Drop your sword."
"Alright, but only if you drop yours." The scheming man replied.
Byleth nodded. "Deal. On the count of three, we both drop our swords." Byleth took her left hand off the Sword of the Creator's hilt and held up three fingers, lowering them as she counted down. "Three… two… one…" Both she and the scheming man dropped their swords. They clattered to the ground and the acoustics of the tunnel amplified their sound to attract the attention of everyone in the immediate vicinity.
The scheming man held up his hands. "Alright everyone, me and this lovely woman here have agreed to call a truce."
"Flattery will get you nowhere." Byleth said.
"That's not flattery, it's genuine praise." The scheming man replied.
"Whatever." Byleth said. "The point is, we've agreed to call a truce, so everybody fighting just slowly lower your weapons and spells."
The combatants obliged this request. Claude, Hilda, Ashe, and Dimitri lowered their weapons, Edelgard removed her blade from the pompous girl's neck, and the gloomy girl extinguished her magic hand glow.
Linhardt peeked out from behind a particularly large support pole. "Is it safe to come out yet?" Apparently he had chosen to hide rather than take part in the fight.
"Yes, everything's been resolved." Byleth said. "Maybe you could try helping out, next time."
"Someone has to stay alive to tell our tale." Linhardt replied.
"Translation: I hate fighting and don't want to be involved." Sothis snarked.
Byleth sighed. "Okay, so, first off, we haven't been properly introduced yet. Names?"
"I think you should introduce yourselves first." The pretty man said. "You are the outsiders here, after all."
"We are the Best Friend Squad!" Claude said with a simultaneously charming and obnoxious smile.
"We're not calling ourselves the Best Friend Squad!" Byleth, Edelgard, and Dimitri chorused.
"My name is Byleth." Byleth said. She gestured to her six charges. "And these are my students: Edelgard, Dimitri, Claude, Ashe, Linhardt, and Hilda." She pointed at each one of them as she spoke their names.
When Byleth said Hilda's name, the muscular man rubbed his chin. "Huh. That's kind of a funny coincidence. I once knew a guy who had a sister named Hilda."
"Really?" Hilda asked inquisitively. "You know, I can't shake the feeling that I know you from somewhere."
"Now that you've introduced yourself I believe it is our turn." The scheming man said, pointing to himself. "The name's Yuri." He gestured to his companion. "And these are-"
"Hapi." The Gloomy Girl interrupted.
"I am Constance von Nuevelle!" The pompous girl said pompously. "It is my duty to protect the common people!"
"I think I just threw up in my mouth." Linhardt remarked.
"We definitely can not let her meet Ferdinand." Hilda added.
"The name's Balthus, the Indomitable King of Grappling." The muscular man said, flexing his muscles.
"Wait, Balthus!?" Hilda shouted. "From House Albrecht?! Baltie, is that you?! Whew, haha! You look, uh… old."
"Huh?" Balthus asked. "Do we know each other, pal? Wait a minute… That hair. Those eyes. That voice! You're that Hilda!? I don't believe it!? Holst's little sis!?"
"Well duh." Hilda said.
"Why didn't you speak up sooner?" Balthus asked.
"Okay, no time for you two to catch up. We have important things we need to do." Claude said. He turned to Yuri. "Would you happen to know about a mystery person who disappeared into this tunnel?"
"Yeah, that was one of our guys." Yuri said.
"Really?" Edelgard asked. "Why was one of, quote, "your guys" skulking around Garreg Mach?"
"That's classified." Yuri said, crossing his arms.
"Well in that case, I suppose we should get out of your hair." Claude said.
"Hold on one moment!" Constance said. "The idea of you leaving here is preposterous!"
Byleth covered her forehead with her hand. "Oh no, don't tell me, we somehow know too much and you have to kill us."
"What? No." Constance said. "That is preposterous. I was merely going to suggest that, since you are already here, it might be prudent to request your aid."
"Wait, what?" Byleth asked.
"That makes sense." Balthus said. "You guys are pretty strong and we could really use the help."
"I don't know about this." Dimitri said. "Can we really afford to get involved in an adventure."
"I'm with Dimitri here." Byleth agreed. "I'm sure the church can find a suitable sub while I'm gone, Shamir maybe, but I'm pretty sure I have to put in a certain amount of hours to get paid and I'd really like to get paid."
"Oh come on pal, you don't even know what we need help with." Balthus said. "Talk is cheap but listening is free, yeah?"
Byleth sighed. "Alright, fine."
"Brilliant!" Constance said.
"So here's the gist of it." Yuri began to exposit. "We have a basic deal with the Church: we stay out of surface business, they stay out of our business."
"Why are you guys down here, anyways?" Claude asked.
"There are some people who simply can't live on the surface anymore." Yuri said. "Merchants who have been screwed over by nobles, lost souls, the eldely and infirm, orphans, and anyone else who seeks sanctuary in the darkness."
"And that includes you?" Claude asked.
"Yes, though it pains me to admit it, we too have valid reasons to shun the light." Constance answered.
"Does that mean you have a reason to be here too, Baltie?" Hilda asked.
"I'm afraid so." Balthus said. "I've got more bounties on my head than I've got hair."
"That's awful." Hilda said.
"Aren't we getting a bit off topic?" Hapi asked.
"Oh, right." Balthus said. "Where were we…"
"You have a deal with the Church." Edelgard said.
"Right." Balthus said. "So, yeah, we have that deal with the Church but recently mercenaries have been showing up."
"Normally this wouldn't be a problem." Yuri exposited. "Mercenaries show up from time to time, normally cause they've got almost as many bounties on them as Balthus here, but these ones seem to be actually targeting Abyss."
"Aside from myself, not many folks around here know how to defend themselves." Balthus said.
"Yes." Constance agreed. "That is why it falls to us to protect those who cannot protect themselves and to safeguard our home. To that noble end, I must insist that you lend us your strength."
"I feel for your cause, truly." Dimitri said, putting his hand on his chest. "However, I cannot help but wonder why you would trust us so readily. Not only are we from the surface, we attacked you."
"That's true." Balthus said. "But if you hadn't attacked us I wouldn't have been able to learn about you. The best way to get to know someone is through a tussle, after all."
"Huh. And here I thought that was just a Felix thing." Byleth said, resting her right elbow on her left arm and placing her palm on her left cheek.
"There are more people out there who subscribe to Balthus' crazy philosophy?" Hapi asked, somehow managing to make monotone sound surprised.
Byleth shrugged. "Well, Felix is a bit more cynical about it."
"We're getting a bit off topic again, aren't we?" Edelgard asked rhetorically.
"We've pretty much covered everything." Yuri said.
"All that's really left is for you to decide for yourselves whether you want to help." Hapi added.
"Most true." Constance agreed.
Byleth turned to look at her students. "What do you guys think?"
"I don't know." Claude said. "Maybe it would be better if we sat this one out."
"At risk of repeating something I said earlier, though I loathe to admit it, Claude's right." Edelgard said. "This isn't our fight."
"That's true." Ashe said. "But as students of Garreg Mach Officer's Academy, we have a duty to help those in need."
"I agree with Ashe." Dimitri said.
"I also agree with Ashe." Hilda said.
Everyone looked at her.
"What?" She asked defensively. "Just because I'm lazy doesn't mean I don't want to help people…" She paused. "Well, okay, really just Baltie, but still, I do want to help."
"Personally, I think this is a poor idea." Linhardt said. "Like Edelgard said, this is not our fight. Also, it's cutting into my nap time."
"Looks like we're tied." Claude said. He looked at Byleth. "Care to break it for us Teach?"
"Hmm…" Byleth hmm'd, resting her right elbow on her left arm and placing her palm on her left cheek. (How about you?) She asked Sothis. (What do you think?)
"I think you're an idiot." Sothis replied.
(I am not!) Byleth protested. (And you know that's not what I meant!)
Sothis sighed. "Look, you can't rely on me to make decisions for you."
(Sothis!) Byleth shouted, irritated at how casually Sothis was taking this. (This is completely off the rails! We never did anything like this in the original timeline! If we agree to help, neither of us will have any idea what will happen.)
"Isn't that the point?" Sothis asked. "We're trying to change things, right?"
(I guess…" Byleth said.
"Us just being here means your plan is working." Sothis explained. "Claude would never have grabbed the other two House Leaders if you hadn't been training them to work together."
(Good point.) Byleth said.
Out loud she cleared her throat. "Alright, everyone, I've decided we're going to help out, uh, do you have a group name or something?"
"That we do." Yuri said. "We are known as the Ashen Wolves."
"What?!" Hilda asked, for some reason annoyed. She turned to face Claude. "Why don't we have a cool name like that!?"
"Hey! Golden Deer is a very cool name!" Claude insisted.
"Apologies, Claude, but Blue Lions is a much cooler name." Dimitri interjected.
"As per usual you are both wrong." Edelgard said smugly. "Black Eagles is the coolest name."
"Enough chatter!" Constance said, putting her hands on her hips and saving Byleth the trouble of breaking up the argument. "If we are going to save Abyss we must make haste! Follow me!" Constance turned and walked down the tunnel.
The other three Ashen Wolves followed without question, though it was less like following and more like going in the same general direction. Byleth's party looked at each other for a moment. Byleth and Hilda shrugged and followed their new associates. The rest of the party had no choice but to go along with it.
A half an hour of walking in silence later, Hilda got a bit antsy. She may have been lazy, but she also hated long silences. She couldn't let this go on.
"So where are we going?" She asked, hurrying to catch up with their Abyssian companions.
"Isn't it obvious." Balthus replied. "We're going to Abyss."
"I thought this was Abyss." Hilda said.
Yuri chuckled and shook his head. "No, that was just one of the back doors." As if on cue, the tunnel opened up into a large cavern full of derelict shacks and stone huts. The cavern was illuminated by candles and luminescent moss of different colors. Tunnels similar to the one they had just left dotted the walls. The entire thing was sort of beautiful, in a run down sort of way.
Yuri dramatically raised his arms to the ceiling and spread them wide. "This is Abyss!"
Author's Note: Blade Lock
I know my description of Abyss is different from what the game is but I thought it would be cool and you know what, this fic runs on Rule of Cool. I like to imagine that my version of Abyss looks a lot like a run down version of the Realm of the Dead in Coco.
Edit: For those who are not aware, the Best Friend Squad joke came from the original Chapter 14. Despite deleting that chapter that was one joke I wanted to keep. Its a reference to the Netflix She-Ra reboot which is brilliant. Y'all should watch it.
In other news, I've put together a bit of a drinking game for this fic. You can put it on the non-existent TV Tropes page. Since Alcohol is bad for you I'd suggest drinking something else, like Lemonade. Or, if you must use an addictive drink, try coffee. Like Godot.
Do note that this applies to the main fic, the supports, and the author's note.
* Every time Claude says something in Greek, take a shot.
* Every time Sothis leans on or breaks the Fourth Wall, take a shot.
* Every time Sothis insults someone, take a shot.
** If the person she's insulting is Byleth, take a another shot.
* Every time Claude refers to Him, Byleth, Dimitri, and Edelgard as the Best Friend Squad, take a shot.
* Every time a trope is name dropped, take a shot.
* Every time there's Ship Tease, intentionally or not, take a shot.
** Special post-fic completion bonus round: take two more shots if the characters there is ship tease between get together either during or after the fic.
* Every time there's an Ace Attorney reference, take a shot. Yes, that includes the one(s) above.
** If you're reading Turnabout Dessert, down the entire glass.
* Every time you encounter something in the fic that only works on Bulbagarden or ZU (links, images, etc), take a shot (to save your liver and/or bladder, you only have to take a shot the first time the Crest of Flames divider appears).
Alright, I think that's it. Merry Christmas and see you in the Q&A!