It was another half an hour before Jack was able to get rid of his neighbour, the kind-hearted yet annoying Mrs. Halliwell. I gathered from their conversation that the rose Jack left for me the other day was actually from her garden. Apparently she's been lonely ever since her husband passed away. I get the feeling that Jack reminds her of him, which is probably why she's always popping over to see him. I can't really blame her though; I'd probably do the same thing in her situation. Hell there's been plenty of times I've found myself magically in Jack's neighbourhood, wanting to drop in on my favorite commanding officer...
Before this whole bond took hold I was always very careful of the regulations regarding relationships with officers in direct chain of command. I knew there was something special between us, but I couldn't risk both our jobs for a little personal happiness. We spend our days gating to other planets, acquiring new technology and saving earth, what could be more important? Every time I think of it, a little voice inside me calls out 'love'. I've seen how our alternate reality counterparts act towards each other…if they've found happiness together, why can't Jack and I? Except the key difference, their Carter's never joined the military, so their Jack and Sam were free to carry on a relationship, get married even. But their realities were also taken over by the Gou'ald…what a high price for love…. I don't know if either of us are strong enough to risk it all for love. But wouldn't it be a hell of a ride to try?
I throw on a clean T-shirt of Jack's I found in his drawer and smile, realizing part of me would have loved a shower with Jack, but I can see the upside to this too. Now I get to spend the day smelling like Jack. To be honest I've always found his unique smell, comforting. Even when we were trapped in that ice cavern in Antarctica, snuggling up to Jack, breathing in his scent, it was comforting…made me feel at peace.
I must have let my thoughts carry me away, Jack's knelt down in front of me and is gently calling me, "Earth to Carter, come in Carter."
"I'm here...I was just thinking." I answered.
"Come on, we've got a date with Doc Fraiser. Besides, you think way too much as it is, this whole bond thing has convinced me of that." He responded, leading me out the door to his pick-up truck.
"I hate to break it to you Colonel, but you think just as much as I do. Only my thoughts aren't X-rated the way yours are. " I told him with a grin on my face.
"Funny, Carter." He muttered, conceding defeat with a similar grin on his face.
Jack said he would drive: so we climbed into his beat-up old truck. Fortunately for us it had a bench seat, perfect for snuggling. Leaning against Jack's side I stretched out my legs towards the passenger door. I was quite content to watch the world rush by through the window while Jack drove.
"Would you grow your hair longer for me?" Jack asked.
I turned to look at him, "Why, you like the alternate reality Carter's hair better?"
"Heck no. Hair that long looks weird on you. But I love running my fingers through it, I just wish it was a little thicker in the back." He leaned over and gave my temple a quick kiss.
"If the regulations did permit it I'd probably take your suggestion to heart. But as it stands I have to get it trimmed every two months." I responded.
"That's the answer then." Jack announced triumphantly, "I just have to kidnap you, run away to a deserted planet with beaches that go on for miles. Just for a couple months, we'll get a tan, do a little finishing and ta da your hair will have grown!"
"Yeah and as soon as we returned to the SGC I'd have to get it cut. You know that's why I like you Jack, you always have a plan. Not usually a good plan, but you always have one." I chuckled.
"Hey! That's insubordination missy! I won't stand for it." He told me in an authoritative tone.
I curled up against his side and laid my head on his shoulder, "Of course not, you're sitting." I yawned, unconcerned by his tone or his words.
"I guess being stern with you doesn't work when you can sense..." He muttered.
"That you're faking it? Yes, sir, you betcha." I whispered to him, before lapsing into silence for the rest of the ride.
It wasn't long until I noticed the change in emotion coming from Sam as I slowed down near a large yard. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her watching children giving each other piggyback rides.
"Having a nostalgic moment about your childhood?" I asked.
She looked up at me with a sad smile; "My dad used to give me piggy back rides all the time until my mom was killed." She sighed.
Inwardly I cringed, I knew memories of her childhood were difficult for her. I probably shouldn't have mentioned it in the first place. I gave her a comforting squeeze, as I pulled into one of the base parking lots.
After I had parked the truck and shut off the engine, we both hopped out. I quickly made my way in front of my pick-up and crouched down with my back to her. I knew in my heart I could never replace her sad memories, but I hoped that I could at least bring a smile to her face now.
"Jack..." She trailed off as she realized what I meant to do. "What if General Hammond saw us?"
I turned around and grinned at her. "I'll make it an order Carter, climb on."
She gently climbed on, wrapping her legs snuggly around my waist and her arms loosely around my neck. "Are you sure about this?" she asked, sounding a little unsure herself.
"Relax Carter, you've a hell of a lot easier to carry than Daniel or Teal'C. More fun too." I gave her thighs a quick squeeze for emphasis.
She chuckled as I started the walk to the entrance, "I'll admit this is more comfortable than being slung over you shoulder." She told me, resting her head on my shoulder.
I shifted her weight on my back, finding it undeniably comforting to have her wrapped around me, "Act cool Major." I whispered to her as I we stepped up to the airman on duty.
"Colonel, Major!" he saluted nervously.
We saluted back as he handed over the sign in clipboard; I can only imagine what was running through his mind, seeing the two of us.
As we turned and walked towards the elevator the airman called out, "Good day sirs... er maam..." his voice cracking on the words. I felt Sam lift her arm to give him an absent wave as we stepped onto the elevator.
I suppose in hindsight we were lucky; we made it to level twenty without running into any problems and even to the second elevator before running into General Hammond on level twenty-eight.
"Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter what do you two think you're doing?" He stared us down, curiosity and irritation glimmering in his eyes.
"Well General, Carter hurt her ankle...I wouldn't let her walk on it. And for some reason she morally objected to being slung over my shoulder." I explained, feeling a wave of irritation coming from Carter. I thought I did pretty well, thinking of that excuse off the top of my head. Although the General didn't seem like he was believing it...I felt a current of doubt flow between Carter and myself.
General Hammond just stared at us for a moment. He just shook his head, probably deciding he was better off not knowing before dismissing us with a wave of his hand. 'Thank god.' I thought.
As soon as we had made it a safe distance from General Hammond, Sam quietly asked, "Do you always lie to your superior officers?"
"Do you always disobey orders?" I responded, letting images of all the times she had disobeyed orders flash through our minds, and not the ones for the good of man kind either.
I sighed and conceded defeat, "Point taken sir..." I over emphasized the sir.
Suddenly my mind filled with images from Jack's. And not the simple flashes like the last few times. This was more like wandering through living memories. I witnessed Jack and Teal'C hit golf balls into the stargate, Jack riding his bike through the base and finally him sweeping me into his arms, dipping and kissing me passionately.
I swore I could feel the pressure of his lips against mine, the soft caress of his tongue exploring my mouth...the way I squeezed his biceps at the unexpected pleasure of it.
Below me I felt more than heard Jack groan softly in remembrance.
I placed my chin on top of his head and closed my eyes to concentrate on the feeling of his kiss. "Why did those visions feel different?" asked absently, more interested in the sensations his mind was giving me.
"Maybe because my mind's not in the gutter like you seem to constantly think." he retorted, the vision disappearing from my mind all together.
I gave him a small smile. "That's not it. Mmm...try to think of some thing that hasn't happened yet." I told him; secretly hoping for another vision of the two of us locked in a passionate kiss.
A new image formed in my mind, the two of us, lying naked, entangled in each other's arms. Each of us had a satisfied smile on our faces and my alter ego had a flush all over her body. I could almost feel the heat radiating from Jack's body pressed against mine.
I traced a pattern of three X's on his cheek with my finger silently reminding him about his constant forays into the gutter, although I was beginning to enjoy them too.
"Yeah, yeah." he muttered.
"Now think of something that has happened." I told him, moving my hand up to run my fingers through his hair.
An image of Jack watching me working out in the SGC gym came into my mind. I vaguely remember this; I was trying to work the tension out of my back after a tough mission. What I didn't remember was having my commanding officer watching me while I worked out...
"That's it!" I exclaimed, "Memories feel different than fantasies or dreams. But that would mean that you hitting golf balls into the stargate; riding a bike in the base and..."
"Kissing you all really happened? They did."
I blushed slightly remembering the phantom feel of his lips, "I think I would have remembered that."
"No you wouldn't, that's from when the day kept looping every ten hours." he explained, obviously pleased with himself.
"Ah..." I gave him soft hug from behind, "So that's what that look was for."
"What look?" he asked, his head contorting as he tried to look me in the eye.
"When Daniel asked you if you had done anything wild and abandoned when you had no consequences. You gave me this look...at the time I didn't know what it meant." I had a feeling though, that look said I want you. Actually it said I want more of you...
"Well now you do." he answered, even from this angle I could see his smile a mile away.
We both lapsed into silence for the next few minutes. I couldn't tell what Jack was thinking, but I knew what was nagging at me.
"Jack?" I asked.
"Yes?" he responded.
"Did you...do anything else besides...?" I trailed off as we rounded the corner and entered the infirmary.
He put me down on one of the empty beds and stood in front of me. His hands cupping and squeezing my knees as gave me a quirky smile. "I wanted to... believe me. I just didn't think it would be fair to you." He kissed my forehead before hopping up on the bed beside me.
I could tell he was leaving something out, "So you didn't?" I questioned him further.
"Well..." he trailed off as I silently begged him for more.
She elbowed me, "Well what?" I could tell I wasn't going to be able to keep this secret from her any longer. She had that adorable shine of determination in her eyes.
I let an image form in my mind before it invaded hers of the two of us. Her soft gasp told me the memory was coming in loud and clear. I watched as my counterpart cupped Sam's cheek in his palm his eyes searching hers before he drew her lips to his in a tender kiss. The Carter in my mind lets out this achingly delicious little whimper, not reacting to the kiss at all, her lips pressed closed. Then she lets out this sighing moan and her lips open and his tongue slid inside while her hands move up to his shoulders, pulling him in even closer. Without a conscious thought from either of them, they are making out on the cot in his quarters. He had moved on top of her, never letting go of those luscious lips. He couldn't help himself; he was grinding against her but god she was grinding back.
The need to breath was overwhelming, so he reluctantly pulled back, sliding wet lips over her cheek, and resting his mouth against her neck, catching his breath. Her head fell back, leaving her neck wide open for his hungry roving mouth. He licked and sucked and nipped at her neck until she was moaning in his arms again, calling out, "Jack...oh god...Jack." The image disappeared as Doctor Fraiser appeared with a needle.
"Why did you stop?" she whispered in my ear, her hand clutching my thigh. I just rolled my eyes in response, letting the image appear once again in our minds.
The Jack in my vision let his mouth begin to slow its travels on Carter's neck, until he finally buried his head in a pillow and sighed. She moaned softly at the loss of his mouth.
"Jack?" her voice had a very sultry tone to it in the memory. She cupped my cheek and brought my eyes to hers. His eyes had a watery quality to them she had never seen before.
"I can't," came his reluctant reply.
She said nothing; instead kissing a stray tear that had escaped his notice.
"When we," he motioned at the two of them, "I want us both to remember it. In six hours you won't remember any of this. I just can't do this..." he explained with sad eyes.
Sam kissed his forehead, " I understand." She gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm disappointing but I understand." she moved to get up, "I guess we should go back to work." He nudged her back down into the cot and snuggled up against her, laying his head on her chest.
"Screw it." his reply was slightly muffled by her chest.
"We'll have to move eventually, you know." she told him, nuzzling her nose into his hair.
He grumbled, "For crying out loud, I've lost track of the number of time loops I've been through. I'm taking this loop off. And so are you." He told her.
She chuckled, "Yes sir, you betcha."