Author's Note: Welcome to the first ever Omake: a non-canon story to a non-canon story. I mean, I've done enough writing in this fanfic universe that it basically has its own canon. Right?

Anyways, this Omake is inspired by the Hades Misguidance series by Zelda Universe. Basically, Palutena's Guidance but with Hades and a lot more Pit dumping.

I've been wanting to write some Kid Icarus stuff for a while now but I don't want to start a new fanfic until I finish this one (by which point I'll probably be out of college) so because I'm having writer's block I'm writing this. It sates your (non-existent) hunger for more Fifth Path stuff, my hunger to write Kid Icarus stuff. It might also help me get over my writers block.

Kid Icarus and all related characters and concepts are property of Nintendo and Sora Ltd. Hades Misguidance and all related concepts are property of Zelda Universe. Probably.

"Hey, this isn't Smash." Pit said, confused.

"I know, I know." Palutena said, turning a map at various angles to see if she was reading it right. "Maybe we should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque…"

"For a Goddess you sure are bad at directions." Hades said. "Maybe you should have let me take the lead."

"Yeah right." Viridi said. "Last time we let you lead us we almost fell in lava."

"That was an honest mistake." Hades said, his huge grin betraying his obvious lie. "Besides, why would I want Pitty Pat to be late for his date with a good thrashing."

"Where are we, anyways?" Pit asked.

The group of deities (and Pit) had found themselves outside of an alternate reality, in which a battle between several oddly dressed characters was taking place. It obviously wasn't Smash match, it was much too… three dimensional for that. The fight didn't seem very video game-y at all, really.

"Well, wherever we are, there's no way we're getting to Pit's next match in time." Viridi said. "We might as well start the show. There's a battle going on right now. Maybe we can commentate that."

"Might as well." Hades said. "Guess the Phantom Thieves will have to wait for another day." Hades opened his mouth to say his catchphrase but before he could, an angry voice interrupted him.

"Hey!" The voice shouted. "Who are you and what are you doing outside of my reality."

A green haired girl who appeared to be about the same age as Viridi's physical appearance shimmered into existence.

"Well, well if it isn't Sothis." Viridi said, sounding slightly bitter.

"Oh hello there, Viridi." Sothis said snarkily. "Still going for the hippie look, I see. Even though it went out of style 3000 years ago."

"That's rich coming from you." Viridi retorted. "You're just another Tiki ripoff."

Sothis reeled back, covering her mouth with her hand. Then she pointed angrily at Viridi. "You take that back."

"I hate to interrupt… whatever this is." Hades deadpanned, wagging his finger between the two goddesses. "But we have a show to start, you know."

Sothis jabbed her thumb at Hades. "Who's this jerk?"

"Oh just ignore him." Viridi said dismissively. "It's good to see you, how've you been?"

"Not bad." Sothis said. The two of them had done a real 180. "You never answered my question, what are you doing here?"

"Nothing much." Viridi said. "The goddess of bad directions here got us lost." She indicated Palutena.

"It's not my fault the map was difficult to read." Palutena protested.

"Why didn't you just use gps?" Sothis asked.

There was a long silence. You could almost see the ellipses above them. Viridi and Palutena simultaneously face palmed.

"We… didn't think of that." Palutena admitted.

"Anyway, we have this show we do where we commentate on different characters in Super Smash Bros." Viridi explained. "But since we got lost we figured we'd do it here."

"Yes, exactly!" Hades said angrily. "So stop flirting and let's get the show started!"

"Okay, okay." Viridi said, exasperated. She looked at Sothis. "Wanna join in?"

Sothis shrugged. "Sure, why not."

Hades dramatically cleared his throat.

"This is where the FUN begins!"

Hades Misguidance

Fifth Path

Omake - Byleth, Claude, Dimitri, and Edelgard

Byleth

"Hey, I know her." Pit said, pointing at a woman with an oddly shaped sword (how original). "She's in Smash too, isn't she."

"You're right." Palutena said. "That's Byleth, formerly a mercenary known as the Ashen Demon, currently a teacher at Garreg Mach Officer's Academy."

"I hate to break it to you, but that's not the Byleth you're familiar with." Sothis said, crossing her arms.

"What do you mean?" Pit asked, confused.

"She means that this isn't even the same reality as Byleth's home game." Palutena answered.

"That's right." Sothis said. "Welcome to the world of fanfiction. And just for the record, this Byleth's my idiot to insult, not any of yours."

"Oh joy, fanfiction." Hades said dryly. "I just love bad writing."

"Technically, this show is fanfiction." Viridi said.

"Yes, but this show has me." Hades said smugly. "And as we all know, I make everything 10 times better."

Viridi, Palutena, and Sothis rolled their eyes. Even Pit looked annoyed.

"Anyways," Sothis continued. "This version of Byleth is a lot more… childish, than yours. I think she'd get along well with your idiot."

"Really? Who's that? I don't think anyone here's an idiot." Pit said.

Everyone stared at him.

"Oh, you mean me." Pit said, sulking.

"She sounds like a real basket case." Hades snarked.

"Hey!" Sothis snapped. "What did I tell you! She's my verbal punching bag!"

"I'm the Ruler of the Underworld." Hades said smugly. "I can verbally punch whoever I want."

"Not outside my reality, you can't." Sothis said, crossing her arms.

"So, uh, hey, how about some fighting tips." Pit interrupted.

"There's not much you need to know." Sothis said. "Except that she's the second most powerful mercenary in Fodlan and possibly the best sword wielder period. Basically, unless you're a select few people, fighting her is the equivalent to a death wish."

"But what about the guy she's fighting?" Pit asked, pointing to a silver haired Bishonen. "He looks like he's holding up pretty well."

"Oh him." Sothis said dismissively. "She's just going easy on him because she's trying to cut down on the unnecessary murder. Also because he's really pretty."

"You got that right." Viridi said, whistling.

"Does our resident Goddess of Nature have another crush?" Palutena teased.

"Absolutely not!" Viridi shouted."I would never have a crush on a human!"

"Except Marth." Palutena said. "And Link."

"Link's a Hylian!" Viridi protested. "That's different!"

"And Marth?" Palutena asked.

Viridi said nothing. Instead she just growled.

"When did this stop being about Byleth?" Sothis asked.

"Maybe we should move on." Palutena said.

Claude

"So who's this guy?" Pit asked, pointing to a boy wearing a yellow cape.

"My Celestial Super Scanner tells me that his name is Claude." Palutena said.

"Celestial Super Scanner?" Sothis asked skeptically. "That's not a real thing."

"I can assure you that it absolutely is." Palutena retorted.

"Regardless, you're right." Sothis said. "That's Claude Von Riegan or, as I like to call him, Mr. Personality."

"Why do you call him that?" Pit asked.

"Because he's really into "jokes."" She said, making air quotes.

"Really?" Pit asked, excited. "I like jokes too! Can I meet him!"

"You know we're not allowed in other universes, Pit." Palutena reminded him.

"I know." Pit said sadly. "But maybe he'll get into Smash."

"Ugh, the last thing we need is another Fire Emblem character." Hades snarked.

"He is in the background of the Garreg Mach stage." Palutena pointed out.

"Even that's more than this overexposed franchise deserves." Hades said.

"It's not my fault my series is more popular than yours?" Sothis said smugly.

"Low blow." Hades said bitterly.

"Just sixteen more years." Pit muttered, more to himself than anyone. "Just sixteen more years."

"Returning to Claude." Palutena said, attempting to ignore the jab, despite it obviously bothering her. "According to my Celestial Super Scanner which is totally a real thing, Claude is mainly a ranged combatant, utilizing various trick arrows to deal damage or cause negative effects such as knocking opponents out."

"Woah!" Pit said in awe. "Why can't my arrows do that?"

"Arrows of light can't be modified." Palutena said. "Sorry."

"Aw man." Pit said, looking down.

Dimitri

"Woah, this guy looks tough." Pit said, pointing to a kid with a blue cape.

"He looks like a total dunce." Hades said.

"Right on both fronts." Sothis said, snapping her fingers. "Dimitri is one of the most accomplished combatants you've ever seen and in a few years he'll be able to even stand up against Byleth. However, he's also a bit dense and wouldn't recognize love if it bit him on the backside."

"Wow, he is dense." Hades said. "Even Pitty Pat can recognize love. After all, he almost S-Supported, Lucy."

Pit turned bright red. "Wh-what… I didn't… it was just one date!"

Hades laughed maniacally. "Yes, and it was lovely to ruin!"

Viridi crossed her arms and burst into laughter too. "Ah, good times."

"Sounds hilarious." Sothis said.

"It was." Viridi replied with a cocky nod.

Pit groaned in embarrassment. This was almost worse than when Phosphora flirted with him.

Edelgard

"Ooh, I actually know some stuff about her." Hades said, pointing to a white haired girl in a red cape. His tone was that of an excited child.

"Don't you dare!" Viridi shouted, knowing what was coming.

"You see, Edelgard is actually-"

"Nope! No! Don't say anything!" Viridi shouted, making an X shape with her arms. "Everyone watching, just go play the game!"

"Oh please, this is a Fire Emblem fanfic, I doubt anybody watching this doesn't know who she really is." Hades said.

"You don't know that!" Viridi shouted.

"He's right, actually." Sothis said. "The twist was given away in Chapter 2."

"Grrrrrr…" Viridi growled.

"Yeah, time travel can be a [bleep] like that." Sothis said. She immediately backpedalled. "Wait, what just happened? What was with that beeping noise?"

"Sorry, sunshine, family friendly show." Hades said.

Sothis grumbled something about censorship that no amount of bleeping could cover up. Palutena made sure to cover Pit's ears.

"So, what about fighting tips?" Pit asked when Palutena finally removed her hands from his ears.

"Edelgard is a fearsome combatant." Palutena said. "Her weapon of choice is an axe. It's short range, though, so if you keep your distance you should be fine."

"Or you could just tell her there's a rat by her feet." Sothis suggested. "She also has a crush on Byleth."

"Let me guess, the dummy's too dense to recognize the crush." Hades snarked.

"First of all, what did I say about insulting Byleth!?" Sothis said. "Second, she's perfectly aware but the feeling's not mutual." Sothis said. "She used to love messing with Edelgard but that running gag died pretty early on."

"How does this help me?" Pit asked.

"It doesn't." Sothis said. "But its not like you have to fight her."

"I could push you in if you want." Hades said, grinning.

"Hades!" Palutena shouted crossly. "You know that's not allowed!"

"Oh I know." Hades said, laughing maniacally.

"Well," Sothis said, yawning. "I should get back to my abode within Byleth's empty skull." She stretched. "I'm so tired. Safe travels." She gave a small wave to the assembled deities (and Pit) and disappeared.

Author's Note: Sorry to keep YOU waiting! But now that I'm here, LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED! Welcome to MY Author's Note, my lovelies-

Hey! What are you doing here!

Addressing my many fans!

Get out!

But this Author's Note would be 10 times better with yours truly!

I said get out!

I AM THE GOD OF THE DEAD, BOY!

And I'm the writer! I may not have as much control over you as Masahiro Sakurai or even the Zelda Universe crew, but I can still give you orders! Now get out!

Fine.

*Clears throat* Sorry about that. So, what'd you think? Glad I got this one out of my system. Maybe now I'll be able to finish the new chapter 15. And just for the record, they are commenting on Chapter 14's fight between the Best Friend Squad and the Ashen Wolves. If you want me to do more things like this, just tell me. Remember, this is non-canon. Not even Sothis, with her weird Fourth Wall Breaking ability, will remember this.

If I feel like it, I might make a special ZU and Bulbagarden version with character portraits. Not out of bias, out of not letting me.

See you in Chapter 15. Hopefully. Poyo.