Chapter 60

Doug held Anna in his arms, she made him happy. He breathed in and looked down at his legs. His bare feet were hanging off the end of the couch. "Good thing you're warm or I'd be freezing." he said as he brushed her hair to the side of his chest. She had been pretty quiet so he tilted his head to look at her and make sure she hadn't fallen asleep on him. "Everything ok?" he asked as he kissed her head.

She debated what to say. She was happy and content lying there now. She could feel his chest rise and fall as she was listening to his steady heartbeat under her ear. But his reaction to her in the park was eating at her. There was something that he wasn't telling her and she didn't want to push, but she didn't want him blaming himself for something that wasn't his fault. "I'm fine," she finally said softly not moving from her spot nestled against him, "you blame yourself don't you." She asked her voice no louder than a whisper.

Doug set his head back down. It would be so easy to lie and keep the night perfect. But something about being this close to her wouldn't let him. He breathed in deep again and ran his fingertips down her arm. "Yes I do." He finally said. It wasn't much but it was the truth. Had it been so obvious just then? Then again, she could read him better than anyone he had ever met. Doug drew some circles on her back thinking of something to say. "I'm sorry." He said as he wrapped his arms back around her. He closed his eyes to keep from tearing up. It was his job to protect her now, and it was then. But he had let her down once and he wouldn't...couldn't let it happen again.

She heard his words and felt his arms go back around her. She rubbed her head against his chest. "You did what you could," she said softly, "I wasn't honest with you, and I tried to cover up what had really happened. I wanted so badly to move on with life, pretend that everything was okay, that way it would be okay. I thought that I could handle it; I had taken worse and walked away. I never thought that it would turn out the way that it did. I should be the one who is sorry. I can't undo what happened; I wish that I could undo the pain that I have caused you. We have a second chance to try this again, and I plan on making you a very happy man, if you can overlook the fact that I can't cook, I'm a slob, and a workaholic, and that I obviously don't know when to shut up and just let things go."

Doug smiled. "Hey I'm the one who should let things go. I just get worried sometimes...I don't want to feel that alone again." Doug tilted her chin up to look at him. He wanted to make sure she heard him. "And i don't want to loose you." He could tell her that he loved her a thousand times and still feel like she needed to hear it again. Something inside him made him feel like he needed to make up for lost time...or the time they got back. "We might have to work on the cooking though." he said with a smile. "One of the two of us has to learn. As for being a slob and a workaholic, you'll fit right in. but when it comes to letting things go...I'm glad you ask. We need to talk. Lack of communication is a big reason that my last relationship failed and i don't want that to happen here. It's just going to take me some time to get back to normal. The better you get the better i will feel ok?"

"I don't want to loose you either." She said, snuggling against his chest. "Oh shoot!" she said flying off the couch, "oh damn it I knew I would forget. Where's my phone? I set it on vibrate instead of ring, I have to find it." As she pulled her sweatshirt back over her head to keep the chill off.

Doug grabbed his pj pants and slipped them on. He stood up and looked around to help her. "What's going on? You expecting a call?" he asked looking under some papers. Doug walked around the couch and to her jacket. He stuck his hand in the pocket and pulled out her phone. "Hey" he said holding it up. "Over here."

"One of my brother's is overseas right now. He's supposed to call today." She said as she took the phone from him, "thank you." She flipped it open and hit send, "hey Dan, did I miss him...yeah..." She sat down on the couch, patting the spot next to her. "Yeah I miss you too. No I'm not in any kind of trouble."

Doug sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulder. 'It must be nice for her to have such a big family' he thought. That was one of the things that he regretted was not having anyone to be close with. He leaned back into the couch and gently rubbed her back as he waited for her to talk to her brother.

"Yeah soon I promise... No I mean it this time, yeah he'll take good care of me till you get back...leave it to you to ask me that...Justin get a wife...Just stay as safe as you can...I love you too." Anna said as she closed the phone and leaned back against Doug. "Justin expects to meet you when he gets back stateside, and he expects you to take care of his baby sister."

Doug laughed. "Great, now I have military personnel on my case. I'm just kidding id love to meet some of your family." Doug pulled her closer to him and put her arm around his neck. "I'll take great care of his baby sister." he said kissing her neck.

"He's the one you should be least afraid of. Justin maybe in the army, but he knows he's baby sister could whoop him. He's a medic so nothing to big and bad." She said smiled feeling his kisses on her neck. "You really don't have to worry about them; they are all just big teddy bears. I love my family all 6 of them, but it's you I love most of all. You won't try to sell me to the gypsies."

"Gypsies?" he asked sitting up. "To tell ya the truth i don't know how much i could really get for you." he joked. Doug put his arms over his head and stretched his back. "I'm glad your brother won't tear me apart. Meeting people's mothers is stressful enough, not to mention military brothers." he looked at his watch. It was almost seven. "I'm almost feeling a little better. What are you in the mood for dinner?"

Anna laughed, "I don't know what you could get for me now, but they were going to get 500 for me, till my father rescued me. As for dinner I don't know, anything is fine with me." She chuckled, "oh man I remember when I first came to County and Carter had been just recently cut off from his family, I was neck deep in student loans and he ordered Chinese. I had been living off Pb and j. I could barely pay the rent of my crappy apartment and he's ordering 30 bucks worth of food for us for lunch at the hospital I so wanted to strangle him."

"You're serious about the gypsies?" Doug asked. "Wow." Doug laughed when Anna mentioned carter's money. "Yeah i can't believe how rich he is. I'm still paying off loans. I took a lot out to cover my medical school. My mom and i both thought that we were going to get something when my father died but the SOB just left me with his old car and room rent." Doug thought back to that week. "Mark and i had a good time in California though." Doug patted her leg as he stood up. "How about i make us the Doug special?" he said walking over to the kitchen.

"That sounds great Doug. When dad died, Dan was the executor of the estate and well, they decided my student loans needed to be paid off first and foremost." She said as she followed him standing in the entry to the kitchen. "And seriously they tried to sell me." Anna shook her head, "it wasn't until I was older that they all realized that having a little sister was pretty cool. That and well babysitting was another way for them to pick up girls."

Doug just shook his head. "That's crazy." He opened the fridge and took out a box of eggs and some milk. He heated up a pan and grabbed some bread. After getting everything ready Doug tried to show off and spun the egg on his finger before cracking it. A few minutes later everything was ready. Doug placed the food on a plate and handed it to Anna. "Kentucky French toast baby. It may not be much but it's all i can make." he said holding his hands up. Doug grabbed his plate and sat down at the table. "One of these days we'll go out to a nice dinner. I'll put on a suit, we'll have some wine, and it'll be good." he said taking a bite. "So did your brothers go to a catholic school too?"

She took a bite and swallowed before saying anything, "they didn't have to endure that. Dan's a civil engineer, Mike is a sports writer, Steven works as a stockbroker, Joey is a lawyer, Justin is a medic and Nathan is into extreme sports, Mountain dew sponsors his snowboarding team."

"And you somehow managed to get through all that without becoming some kind of sports girl? You are something." he said getting up to grab some water. "Hey i don't care as long as you don't drag me to Sunday mass. I can't stand to go anymore."

Anna shook her head, "the last time I stepped inside a catholic church was for dad's funeral. My family is Catholic but not I. I gave up my faith a long time ago. It hasn't ever seemed to do anything for me. I can watch sports and I'm more than happy being center court at a bulls or phillies game, but that's it. "She smiled, "what you don't think that Mike doesn't take care of me front and center. Be nice and I might take ya with me. Be extra nice and Mike might take ya to the locker room with him."

"Hey you could come in handy!" Doug said sitting back down. "I know what you mean about not being to church. My mother was a stronger catholic...and I was too up to my senior year in high school." Doug rolled his eyes thinking on it. "I use to pray fro three things every night. One was to keep my mother safe, one was to keep me healthy...mostly for basketball, and the other was for my dad to come back. I never had all three and rarely had two so by the time i left my house it all seemed pretty stupid." Doug put away his plate and walked over to his CD player. "Man i need a new one of these. I think I've only ever had this one and four CD's max." he leaned against the back of the couch. "What kinda music you listen to?" Doug had been listening closely to her likes and dislikes the past few days. He was searching for a good gift to get her soon but hadn't come up with anything good yet.

She put her hand on his leg. "I know what you mean there. Not that I ever really prayed for anything in particular. I wanted to believe in something but what I tried to, never seemed to work out right. I listen to Matchbox 20, 3 doors down, Pink, Bryan Addams, that kind of stuff. You know you can always use my Ipod. But the music that is in there might shock you." She laughed.

Matchbox 20 shocking? I kinda doubt it. The only thing that would shock me was if you had Marylyn Manson or something. Besides you'd laugh at some of the stuff i listen to...maybe it's because I'm so old!" Doug teased. Doug knew he was a few years older than her; either that or she had one young face. "You're carter's age right?" Doug still hadn't decided on what to get her. "So are you a gold or silver girl?"

"I wish I was. No I am older than Carter. I'm 37," She said cringing at her age. "I'll pull the gothic music off there before you shock yourself." She laughed, "You might be able to handle the within temptation that is on there. Oh wow gold or silver huh...I'd have to say a gold girl."

"What's that face for?" he said poking her. "37...come on now, that's not old. I'm keeping my birthday a secret from you for sure now, damn!" Doug glanced at her skin complexion. She was tan enough that gold would look really good on her. Doug tried to cover his cough again but couldn't hold it in. "mmm i have so many things to do but i just want to sit here with you..." he said holding her hand."I liked the research stuff you found. Might have to take you up on It." he yawned and stood up. "You can do..."he looked around the house. Whatever you can find to do. I'm going to get some reading done and see if i can get some sleep. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

"Yeah thanks. I did a lot of that when I was working in Philly." She said smiling, "go read, I have emails that I need to answer anyways." She said as she took her plate over to the kitchen sink. "I'm going to go and stretch out the bed, hopefully the blasted laptop won't eat me alive again." She said as she walked from the kitchen grabbing her machine. "Don't stay up to late baby."

"Yeah" Doug sat grabbing a pile of books and folders and sitting down at the kitchen table. He held a highlighter between his teeth while he wrote down points that applied to the research. He had to have this turned in soon and he always seemed to slack off until the last minute. He watched Anna go into the bedroom and just shook his head. If one thing could be said about them it was that they could relate to each other. Everyday it seemed like he learned something new from her that was like him.

Anna stretched out on the bed. She flipped on her machine and started to read the emails that she had pulled off the net earlier today. So far no bad news and that made her happy just a lot of updates from her many families, pictures, new babies. She felt her eyes getting heavy. She laid her head down on the pillow and closed her laptop setting it next to the bed. She knew he would be in soon, but until then when a doctor was in the middle of research you left the alone.