Here's Part 2!
Enjoy!
Catie
When October Goes - Part 2
November 2nd, 2006 - 2:00 AM
I can't believe what's going through my head right now. Patrick ended the relationship earlier tonight, if you could call it that. I should be okay with it and I shouldn't feel like someone has just ripped my heart out and handed it back to me in pieces, but I do. I feel like I've been rammed into a wall a few hundred times. I feel like I'm falling apart.
I feel broken.
Just imagine being with someone for a month. It was just a month, thirty-one days, but they were amazing days at that. I knew that he didn't want commitment, but he led me on! He would cook for me and dance with me. We'd go to movies and out to Kelly's. But he ended it instead of seeing were it could go. Maybe if I didn't feel something. I don't even know if I let on that I did feel something. Did I? Oh, what's the point?
I called Brenda the minute I walked in the door. She allowed me to ramble on and on about Patrick. She even said that she'd call my parents and have my mom pull an old one-two on him. I laughed playfully, saying no, but thanking her for making me laugh. I told her that she always made me feel better. I then allowed her to ramble on about her newest design for her fashion company. She insists that I come back to Paris for a week and stay with her.
I think that's what I'll do. It's one thing to go and visit. It's another to move back there, and I think that's what Brenda's trying to get me to do.
I don't know. Maybe the feelings were one sided; they weren't recripicated. And if that's the honest truth, I'll feel like and idiot. I want him to hold me in his arms and never let me go. I want him to kiss me and touch me and make me loose my mind. But at this point, I don't know where to go from here.
Robin slowly placed a bookmark at her page and silently shut her diary. She listened to the heavy downfall of rain outside and her mind flashed back to when her and Patrick made love for the first time. They were in a cabin and there was a tin roof. She mentioned that she loved the sound of rain on a tin roof, and they moved from there.
A lone tear slid down and off her face, landing on her journal. Robin was sick and tired of crying, but it's all she could bring herself to do for the last several hours. She placed the diary on the coffee table in front of her and walked into the kitchen. She looked around and tapped her foot, trying to recall what she had come into the room for.
Then it hit her. She was climbing the walls in her own apartment because she usually spent every night at Patrick's. She scrambled out of the kitchen and back into the living room. She only grabbed a sweat jacket, not considering the weather conditions, and walked out of her apartment and into the pouring rain.
She had no idea why her feet brought her here. Her body was exhausted from walking the 22 blocks in the cold rain to his apartment. She didn't know how she accomplished it, but she did. As Robin stepped off the elevator and took a left, he body shook from the freezing November cold.
November. She knew that October was over, but somehow she wished that Halloween night could go on forever.
She stood in front of the door for several minutes, debating knocking or not. Finally, her body automatically brought her hand up to knock on the wooden door because she knew that exhaustion and cold, along with her weighed emotions, were about to take over. As she stumbled a little from the dizziness, the door swung open. Patrick caught Robin with open arms as she fainted into the apartment.
When he heard the knock at the door at 2:45 AM in the morning, he was angry because he was trying to cope with his actions of breaking everything off with Robin. Then when he saw her on the other side, he was so happy, his heart jumped into his throat. She was soaked to the bone when he opened the door. When she fell forward he opened his arms and caught her before she had a chance to hit the ground.
He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the couch, placing her down gently. He went upstairs to his room and took a T-shirt and a pair of his sweatpants back down to her, as well as a towel. She was still totally unconscious when he got back to the couch. He lifted her head gently and dried her hair. He looked at her face as her dried her hair. Her cheeks were red and so were her lips, but her forehead, nose, and chin were as white as a ghost.
Slowly and carefully, he pealed off each layer of soaking wet clothing, dropping then each to the floor. He dried each part of her limp body and placed his shirt and sweatpants on her. He brushed her now damp hair back with his fingers and pulled it into a scrunchie band. Finally, he took the brown blanket from the back of the couch and laid it over her body.
Not wanting to let her out of his sight, he didn't bring her to the hospital. Because he was a doctor, he did a simple exam of her and knew that she was okay. He took another blanket from the back of the couch and made himself comfortable on the reclining chair at the foot of the couch.
Robin awoke with an immense pounding in her head. She sat up fast, bringing a swift hand to her forehead, rubbing it in pain. She opened her eyes slowly, adjusting to the sunlight showing through the doors.
Wait. She thought to herself. I don't have doors in my bedroom.
Not caring about the pain, she shot her eyes open. Examing her surroundings, she immediately realized that she was in Patrick's living room, on his couch. As in the Patrick that had broken her heart two days ago.
What am I doing here? She continued to keep her thoughts inside her head instead of outside her mouth. And an even better question, How did I get here?
She looked down at her body. These are not my clothes. Oh, God. Tell me I slept with Patrick after he ended it.
Robin jumped off the couch fast, feeling dizzy when she was finally on her feet. Steadying herself by putting out her arms, she followed the scent of cooking coming from the kitchen. She followed the aroma and found Patrick in the kitchen standing over the stove making breakfast. Poking her head into the doorway, tears quickly sprang into her eyes at the revelation: this is what they did every morning when they were together.
Robin turned on her heal quickly, making her goal to get out of the apartment as fast as she could without being scene, but her body had other plans. The chill from the rain the night before still effected her and as she spun, her body met the floor in a complete dizzy spell.
Patrick ran out of the kitchen as fast as his legs would carry him. He stood in the doorway, immediately seeing Robin's body on the floor by the doorway. He lifted her into his arms, somewhat like he'd done the night before, and carried her to the couch. When he placed her down, he noticed she was awake.
"Hey." was all he could manage out of his mouth.
She smiled up at him slightly and his heart jumped into his throat for the second time in the last twelve hours. "How did I get here?"
"I was hoping you could tell me that. You showed up here at a quater to three."
"Are you kidding?"
"No."
Robin sighed. "I'm going to go home now. I don't know why I came here." She stood and headed toward the door, then she answered his question before it could go through his lips. "You can drop my clothes at work tomorrow."
She walked out the door, then leaned against it, swallowing the bile that had risen into her mouth.
Patrick sat, glued to his couch, not wanting to move. He couldn't believe that he had just let her walk out of his life like that. But what would have stopped her? He had given her the opportunity when he broke her heart.
The next day, Patrick walked into the hospital's fourth floor nurses' station and was greeted with the deadly glares of Liz, Epiphany, and Emily. He stopped in his tracks and struggled to smile a little.
"Good Morning." He mumbled. still struggling to smile.
"Don't 'Good Morning' me, pretty boy." Epiphany spat.
"We want to know what you did to make Robin so mad." Liz began.
"And upset." Emily added. "According to you and her, things were going great."
"So tell me, right now, what you did." Liz looked Patrick square in the eye.
"Nothing." Patrick lied through his teeth.
"Liar." A voice came from behind him. He spun around quickly to see Robin glaring at him just like her three friends. "For your information ladies, out of the blue, he decided to break my heart."
"¡Usted estúpido, grosero, el hijo de una ramera!" Emily rambled in Spanish.
"What did she say?" Patrick questioned.
"She said, 'You stupid, rude, son of a bitch.'" Robin translated. "Personally, I agree with her."
"You speak Spanish?" Patrick asked.
"Don't change the subject!" Epiphany demanded.
"I didn't try..." He lied...again.
"There you go lying again." Robin said.
"Seems to be becoming second nature." Liz commented.
"I have nothing to say to any of you." Patrick lied for the third time that morning. It was only 9 AM.
"Well," Robin sighed, holding back the tears in her eyes with all her strength. "Neither do I." She turned of her heal and walked away.
Epiphany slapped Patrick on the back of the head. "Idiot."
She, Emily and Liz left him standing in the middle of the hospital.
Later that night, Robin sat on the bench of the pier as the snow fell lightly from the sky. She didn't attempt to catch them with her tongue this time. That was something for another night. She hated that Patrick had been lying to her all day, then he had the nerve to speak to her only once the whole day for a consult on a pregnant nineteen year old girl.
Adrianna James was a British teenager that was visiting New York with her friends. She passed out in the diner with eating lunch, and because she was pregnant, her friends immediately called an ambulance. She was diagnosed with a serious brain tumor.
Yet, although she was eight months pregnant and on the brink of death, the young girl seemed to be afraid of only one thing -- never being able to love someone and to be loved equally by that same person. She wasn't scared of dying, per se, she was scared of what she'd miss.
Robin wiped a stray tear from her eye. She'd given her heart to three different men, and all three men took it, and handed it back to her in pieces.
I think I'll become a nun. She laughed to herself and smiled inwardly.
Something inside her clicked and she flashbacked to the night that Patrick broke it off with her.
FLASHBACK
November 1st, 2006 - 8 PM - Patrick's Apartment
He had invited her for a casual dinner at his place, fully expecting to break the relationship apart, but he wasn't expecting much of a reaction.
When he opened the door to let her into the apartment, he stood, dumbfounded, at how beautiful she looked in the very casual clothing that she was wearing. She had on white keds, with long tight fitting bluejeans. Her long-sleeved black shirt exposed a lavender colored camisole and a small bit of cleavage. half of her hair was tied back into a ponytail and the other half hit her shoulders in curls.
This isn't going to be easy. Patrick thought to himself.
She was looking to the ground when he opened the door and then her head shot up. Patrick greeted Robin with huge smile, showing his amazing dimples. He placed a kiss to her cheek and he opened the door a little more so she could enter. Little did she know that he was going to break her heart.
There's me, looking down at my shoes.
The one smiling like the sun, that's you.
What were you thinking?
What was the song inside your head?
After having a simple dinner of angelhair pasta and tomato sauce, Patrick and Robin moved to the couch. They began have some wine, and somehow began playing cards. They played three rounds of 'Go Fish' and two rounds of 'Old Maid,' which Robin won both of. After the games ended, the duo began talking about the music that was playing in the background. Patrick had put in the new 'Nickleback' album, which Robin absolutely adored.
There's us, going on about a band.
Working out how we'd play our hands.
They talked for another hour about the band, until the clock hit midnight. Patrick knew what he had to do, for his sake and Robin's, he assumed that ending the relationship now would be better then hurting her when they were far too emotionally involved.
END FLASHBACK
Robin's cheeks had now turned into rivers. She was so caught up in the memory of their end that she didn't notice Patrick walk over. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she jumped a mile. She turned her head to see who it was that touched her and she pulled from his grasp when she realized that it was him.
If I was stupid, maybe careless,
So were you.
She stood to walk away, but with no words spoken, he grabbed her elbow and roughly pulled her lips to his. As they kissed, Robin's eyes created more tears and the salt from her eyes was tasted in the kiss.
Not everything is supposed to come true.
Some words are best unsaid.
Some love is not a really love at all.
After a few minutes, he brought his hands up to her face and pulled it away. He leaned his forehead against hers and said, lightly above a whisper, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
I'll keep everything I shared with you.
He heart jumped slightly. "I know." And it was the truth. She knew his fear of commitment and love and marriage and the whole kitten caboodle.
"No, you don't." He whispered and looked into her brown eyes. "It's been two days since I woke up without you by my side. It made me realize that I love you. And I am so, so sorry for hurting you like it did."
"I know." She repeated. She kissed his lips and whispered against them. "I love you, too."
And that's enough
There's Us.
Patrick entwined his fingers with Robin's, and silently, they both walked. There destination? They didn't care. As long as they were together.
And when October goes,
The same old dreams appear.
And you are in my arms,
To share the happy years.
That's what happens...
...When October Goes.
The End