Chapter 67:
Anna snuggled against Doug's chest. The day had gone from horrible to absolutely wonderful. How did she get so lucky to have a man like him in her life now? She found her mind drifting wondering if this is what it was going to be like in a month, a year, 20 years from now. Was this going to be hers forever, he said he wasn't going anywhere. Time would only tell she wanted that, they had something special and if they could survive the past 2 weeks she knew that they could survive what ever life was going to throw at them. It couldn't be any worse than what they had just been thru. How long would she be staying in his house? She didn't want to go back to sleeping alone, but there was no sense if paying on two places granted hers was closer to County, but she could easily take the EL to Northwestern from his. Not that she planned on working at Northwestern for long. She needed to put in a few shifts while she was suspended at County, to pay for her friends having to work with Romano. And as happy as she was to be working for Doug, she didn't want to give up her attending status there. She had given up a shot tenure when she upped and left Philly. But she also didn't want him to think that the only thing she cared about was her career. She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his, she found something exciting about the fact that she could make this man blush so easily, "hmmm was that as good for you as it was for me?" She asked softly as she placed a trail of kissing down his neck onto his chest.
Doug smiled at her question. She already knew the answer. He was having a good time just sitting with her. He could feel the heat in his cheeks but he couldn't help it. It was a sign of love. He took her hand and put it against his. His fingers overlapped hers but that was too be expected. He had never noticed how delicate her fingers were, not like his. His had been scarred and broken. He had cigarette burns on his forearms from his dad and knife cuts from the 'boys club'. He turned her hands around examining them closely. He loved finding new things to love about Anna, not like it was very hard. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. The water was getting cold but he didn't want to get out. He liked being this close with her, she would keep him warm. He finally spoke when he found a question worth asking. "Tell me something about you Anna...I don't care what it is. I want to know all about you. Your favorite movie and color. If you like winter or summer. I don't care what it is...just talk to me." Doug spoke softly. He needed to hear her voice after today. When it was sunny he could easily pretend everything was fine but once the sun went down he always started to feel alone.
"Oh you don't care do you?" She said nestled against, "I love the snow... winter time, downhill skiing, snowboarding...Irish coffee in the lodge... I love to lie out on the beach catching the sun. Pillow fights...popcorn with lots of butter while watching Robin Hood Prince of thieves...I like the color red...I like to drive with the windows rolled down and the wind whipping thru my hair with the music turned up...I like to take long walks along the beach at sunrise when there are just a few clouds turning the sky that brilliant pink..."
Doug closed his eyes and listened to her. The sound of her voice made him feel better, although he would never admit it. After she paused he looked down at her face. "I guess I need to write that down...bring Anna to the beach, the mountains, take her to the movies, let her win in fights, buy her a car and a red dress... doesn't sound like too much to ask for your company." he joked kissing the top of her head. He was trying hard to keep the conversation off of him. His headache was starting to come back, and after riding the horse his knee hurt too. He sighed as he rubbed her arm. "You're cold...we should probably get dried off. I don't want to get you sick."
Anna moved from her spot and grabbed a towel wrapping it around her as she held the second one out to him. She smiled at him as she walked out of the bathroom pulling on the terry robe that was hanging in the closet, before stretching out on the bed, her legs dangling free over the edge. "Those things really don't matter to me..." She said pausing holding her breath not sure if she wanted to finish that thought or not. They were still new to each other and she was almost afraid that if she finished it, he would freak out on her like every other guy she knew.
Doug dried off and grabbed his flannel pants. After slipping them on we lie down on the bed next to her and set his head next to hers. "What really matters to you then?" he asked honestly.
She ran her hands thru her hair. She put her head in her hands, "I have always wanted that one special love that my parents had for each other...knowing that it would last forever. I've found that with you. I've just been too scared to say anything because I didn't want you to go all freaky on me. It's the small things that matter to me, the smiles, the popcorn, the Kentucky French toast...with you I can be me...I don't have to be afraid of what I am going to say or do... I have never wanted anything like I want this...I want to know that I won't be going home to an empty apartment...that I won't be alone...I'm truly and honestly happy and I don't want it to end."
Doug laid there a moment taking in what she had told him. From the tone of her voice he knew it was hard for her to say. He didn't want to blow the gravity of what she had said with a joke or something stupid but he wasn't very good at serious conversations, especially not tonight. "Hey..." he said tilting her face up to look at him. She was honest with him and he needed to be the same with her. " I cant promise you anything...nothing in life is certain." having said that he took her hand away from her head and put it on his chest so she could feel his heartbeat. "But you feel that? This is real...right now. And that's all that matters to me. That right now, I love you so much I've shared things with you no one else knows. That when I go to bed you're the last thing I think about and the first when I wake up. That the thought of not seeing you, even just for a day, makes me never want to let you go...but I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. The only thing I can tell you that I know for sure is that whenever you're with me you don't have to worry about anything...because I'll take care of you." Doug took a breath and held her hand tighter. "So when I say now and forever...that's what I mean. Because no matter what happens with us, I'll never have anything but good memories of you."
She rolled over and buried herself into his chest, she was there to comfort him and here he was comforting her, she felt so safe and so secure. All she wanted right there in that moment in time was to be wrapped up in his arms, she looked up at him, a smile was on her face and she could feel the tears of happiness that were wetting her eyes. "Would you please just hold me close to you? I just want to be close to you right now...just you and me." She hoped that he knew how much hearing him say those words meant to her. Because she couldn't find the words to tell him.
Doug kissed away the tears on her face and pulled her into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her and set his head on top of hers. He ran his fingers down her back until he felt her relax a little. He was glad she trusted him enough to say this to him. He hoped that he could open up one day too. He liked this right now anyway. It was much easier for him to comfort someone else. He kissed her forehead and grabbed the blanket to tuck her in. He knew what he had said was true...but he hoped that they really did last forever or at least for awhile. He couldn't stand the thought of being alone again. He brushed the hair out of her face and took her hand again. He could almost see it in the moonlight. "Do you know that you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen? Even your hands are perfect."
She smiled at him, her voice soft, "no, I didn't know that." She squeezed his hand before bringing it up and kissing it. "You are as handsome today as the first time I saw you, which seems so long ago now."
"Ahhh don't remind me" he said rolling over. "I'm going to feel old. I'm telling you here and now, no parties for my birthday ok? I might not even tell you the date." He said with a laugh. Doug's knee and back were starting to hurt more and he wanted to sleep well tonight. He still had a lot left to do tomorrow. He rolled off the bed and walked over to his bag. He popped some Advil into his mouth and looked for the script Anna had written him. 'Ahhh damn I threw it out' he said to himself. He had been taking them way too much. That could have been the reason that carol and him got into that fight after Valentines Day and he didn't really want to start that again, be his body needed something. He stood up and grabbed a shirt. After throwing it on he took the ice bucket and headed for the door. "I'm going to get some ice...for a drink or something. Ill be right back." he hoped Anna would go to sleep so he could fix it by himself. He didn't tell her when he twisted his knee because they were having a good time, just like they were now. He walked down the hall and found the machine.
She rolled onto her stomach wrapping her arms around the pillow and closed her eyes within a few seconds she was sound asleep.